Master Apprentice Archive Odd Smells Quick search:

Warnings: None

Archive: If you want it

Spoilers: None

Category: Humor

Summary: Obi-Wan's hygiene needs help.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Star Wars isn't mine. No profit is being made from this story.

>>
>>I want to see a story where Obi-Wan is a typical teenage boy, and
>>such social niceties need to be drummed home by a long-suffering
>>master.
>>

Be careful what you ask for.... You just may get it!

Master Qui-Gon Jinn sat in his favorite recliner, reading a report for their last mission. His Padawan lounged on the sofa, studying. The thirteen year-old was sprawled out across the furniture, his socked feet resting on the coffee table.

Qui-Gon delicately sniffed the air. There was that smell again. He'd been smelling it off and on for the past few days. What was it? It smelled kind of like a wet bantha, but worse.

He put down the report. He couldn't stand the smell anymore. He had to get rid of it.

Sniffing, he followed the odor. It led to the couch. Did a mouse get stuck under the cushions and die? Did Obi-Wan leave a half-eaten sandwich under the furniture a week ago?

He sniffed again. The smell was stronger as he got closer to his apprentice.

"Master?" Obi-Wan asked as Qui-Gon sniffed him.

"What's that smell?"

"I don't smell anything."

"What do you mean you don't smell anything?" Qui-Gon went in for a closer whiff and immediately regretted it. "Ug! Obi-Wan!"

"Are you saying that I stink?" Obi-Wan asked, an accusing expression on his face. "I've used my pit-stick!"

Qui-Gon blinked. "When?"

"After my shower."

"And when was that shower?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "A few mornings ago."

"What?" Qui-Gon asked surprised, and a little disgusted. "We've had two workouts since then. What have you been doing in the locker rooms? You came out with wet hair."

"Puleeeze, master." Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. His master was usually a smart man. Old people could be so slow sometimes. "I stuck my head under the faucet. You have to wet your hair before you put mousse in it."

"mousse?"

"So my hair doesn't look too fluffy," Obi-Wan explained as if he were stating the obvious.

"Why didn't you just take a shower? That would have gotten your hair wet."

"I wasn't dirty."

"What do you mean you wasn't dirty? You had just done 'saber drills for an hour!"

"I didn't have any dirt on me."

Qui-Gon stifled the urge to roll his eyes. "You were sweaty. Sweat smells."

"I had deodorant on," Obi-Wan replied as if that explained it all. "I put an extra thick layer on."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes. This boy was going to give him gray hair. "From now on, take a shower after every workout."

"But master! We workout at least once a day! That's a shower every day!"

"I'm glad that you understand. Now go take a shower."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Yes Master," Obi-Wan mumbled, not happy at the turn of events.

Qui-Gon watched as the boy pulled his feet from the coffee table, his blue socked feet. Wasn't obi-Wan wearing blue socks yesterday? Come to think of it, wasn't Obi-Wan always warring blue socks? Blue socks weren't standard temple issue.

"How many pairs of blue socks do you have, Obi-Wan?"

"Just one. They're my lucky socks. Why?"

Qui-Gon ignored the question. "Take them off. Put them in the hamper. Now, before they crawl off your feet."

The boy looked at his master as if he had gone insane. "They're my lucky socks."

"So?"

"You can't wash lucky socks. That'll ruin them."

"I assure you, they will remain intact in the laundry." Qui-Gon was starting to get a headache. "Besides, I thought you didn't believe in luck."

"I don't."

"Then why are you reluctant to wash them?"

"Because that'll ruin them." Obi-Wan flashed his master a look that said 'duh.'

"Put the socks in the hamper," Qui-Gon said. Another thought struck him. "Put the underwear you are wearing in there too. Put on a fresh pair after your shower."

"But it's not the end of the week yet."

"Just do it!" Qui-Gon massaged the bridge of his nose. "After your shower, were going to have a little talk about hygene."

"Yes master," Obi-Wan replied morosely as he lumbered towards the bathroom.

"Oh, there's a new bottle of shampoo under the sink."

Obi-Wan paused at the door. "But...."

"USE IT! USE THE SOAP TOO!"

"Yes master."

The End