Master Apprentice Archive Obi!muse Quick search:

Archive: yes please on M_A, anyone else just ask

Categories: Humor/Parody, POV

Rating: PG

Spoilers: whatever, maybe for slash in general. Just read, you'll see

Disclaimers: George owns the SW universe, I own my Obi!muse, so there!

Warnings: un-beta'ed, I think they would put me away if I made them beta this. All mistakes my own.

Feedback: Please! Please! Please let me know on-list or off, don't care either way, just let me know.

Summary: Um...I got bored at work and my Obi!muse wanted to say some things. Sorry all, this is what happens when I get bored and a pad of paper is my only salvation.

Why do you women and the occasional male feel the need to put me through every situation possible. I mean, how much can a Jedi take. I have fallen in love with Qui-Gon, Xanatos, Anakin, Bail, Mace, Luke or Han (time travel, yea!) and many others. I have had sex with all of these and a few others that I tend to try and forget about (like Jar-Jar or Yoda). You have me falling in love with myself from other movies, mostly Curt Wild, but there might be the occasional Mark Renton from Trainspotting.

I am constantly horny, either just to jerk off (in which case I am usually discovered in a very embarrassing moment) or to seduce one of my various lovers or to be seduced by them. I have had great, wonderful, mind blowing (literally) sex that leaves my lover or me in a pile of goo. And then there are times in which you wonder how I can walk in a straight line with all the mistakes I make with my sex life.

There are times I save the universe, the Jedi, Qui-Gon, or anyone else. Then there are times when I am not so graceful and you wonder how anyone could make me a Jedi Knight.

I get raped, maimed, murdered, killed, stabbed, tortured, mind wiped, lose my mental balance and get rebuilt, quit the Jedi, become a slut, pleasure slave, pregnant, Sith, etc., etc., yadda, yadda, yadda... You name it, it has been done to me.

Why you ask, because you can and I love every minute of it. I am the young and naïve one, learning my way through the galaxy and you can make me the victim of your perverse pleasures.

I am just a fictional character made up in the mind of a person named George Lucas, but brought to life by first Sir Alec Guinness and then Ewan McGregor. Now, I live in the minds of everyone in some form, but mostly in the minds of the people who have seen the movies.

You know what, through your minds and thoughts and through your stories I live. It brings me to life for the few minutes or hours spent reading a story or writing one. For that precious amount of time, I become a living entity. I am no longer a fictional character, but a muse telling you what I want, molding you, the writer, to bring about my wishes. As a muse, I have power over you. I will distract you from your job, children, loved ones, thinking about all the wonderful things you could do to me. Or I will wake you up at all hours of the night, having you work out all the minute details of a story in your mind, on paper, or talking to a friend, either on the phone or online in various chat rooms. This is how I will live forever.

Now go, all of you who have been sucked in by my will. Read the stories, create new ones. Keep me living in your minds. I know you want to.