Obi-Wan Pendragon: So Much For The Negotiations

by Susan Anthony (LdyGossamer@aol.com)

Pairing: None yet

Archive: Master_Apprentice, my site at http://www.geocities.com/area51/keep/8613/artists.html, anyone else, just ask

Category: Humor, Pre-Slash

Rating: G

Spoilers: none for Star Wars anyway

Series: The Saber in the Stone

Summary: Never leave implements of destruction just lying about the countryside.

Feedback: Very welcome.

Notes: I was just reading along, minding my own business when this scene popped into my mind and demanded to be written. Thanks for the beta Maig!

Warnings: Teenagers drooling over other teenagers, m/m implications

"Master, I'm sorry but you've always taught me to use whatever weapon comes to hand." The padawan looked a bit sheepish as he stood before his master. He held his hands together and hidden in the sleeves of his brown robe as he watched his usually serene master pace the length of the large room. In the three years he had been Master Jinn's padawan, Obi-Wan had never seen the man pace.

Master Qui-Gon Jinn glanced at his student and then rubbed his forehead as if he felt a headache coming on. And, indeed he did. "I understand that, my padawan, just as I know you meant no harm. Your actions certainly incited victory for the King's faction." The older Jedi groaned under his breath. "Or should I say, former King."

Obi-Wan blushed as he glanced at the gleaming circlet of gold the rowdy victorious knights had insisted he wear. Now it lay almost accusingly on the velvet seat of the large throne that dominated the room. "Surely we can do something to convince them to pick someone else, Master," Obi-Wan began in a worried tone. "I mean, just think of what the Council will say!"

Qui-Gon froze in his tracks and felt a full body shudder wind through his tall frame. Oh gods. He hadn't considered the Council yet. He turned to his apprentice and approached him slowly.

"Obi-Wan, my dear apprentice, my most favorite padawan," he began hopefully as he took his student's shoulders. "I don't suppose you tried to stick the sword back into the stone, did you?"

Qui-Gon stared at the old man across the table with a calm and serene gaze. The old man stared back with an irritated glare.

"A fine mess that boy has made of this, wizard!" the old man snarled as he slapped his hand on the table. Next to Qui-Gon, his padawan jumped nervously.

"I am not a wizard," Qui-Gon said in a firm tone as he glanced reassuringly at Obi-Wan. "And I didn't catch your name when Knight Kay introduced us." Qui-Gon thought this was probably because the knight could hardly speak from shaking so badly, obviously fearful of the irritable old geezer across the table.

"It's Merlin!" the man snorted as he sat back with a scowl.

"Very well...Merlin," Qui-Gon replied with a polite nod. "Obi-Wan certainly didn't mean to cause any problems. My apprentice and I were sent to this planet to help with the negotiation of a peace treaty."

"You've achieved peace, all right!" the man scowled. "With the wrong king on the throne!" He turned to glare at Obi-Wan with a particularly dark gaze. "Boy, don't you know not to play with sharp objects?"

Obi-Wan stared at him and then turned his wide, pleading eyes to his master. Qui-Gon restrained himself from rubbing his forehead.

"Obi-Wan, why don't you go have a look around while I talk with Merlin."

The boy was on his feet and half-way across the room before his master finished the sentence. "Yes, Master. Thank you, Master." And then he was gone.

Qui-Gon grinned briefly before he smoothed his expression and turned his gaze back to the new arrival. "I dare say you have some things you'd like to speak of, Master Merlin?"

"I dare say you are correct, Master Jinn," the old man growled.

Obi-Wan had no trouble sneaking by the bodyguards who had been watching him whenever he left the castle. A judicious use of the Force speed and he was walking alone down the path which led to the small village crouched at the bottom of the hill. Dressed as he was in a plain linen shirt and brown pants, he looked like any other young man he'd seen passing through the castle. With a final glance back at the looming stone building behind him, Obi-Wan tucked his braid into his shirt collar. He couldn't do anything about his hair but hopefully no one would pay attention to another teenager running around.

The village itself wasn't much to speak of but it was immensely crowded with nobles and peasants alike who had come to see the Coronation of the High King. Obi-Wan winced at the thought as he rubbed the back of his neck. His Master hadn't yet figured out a way to get him out of this King business but the apprentice had every faith in his master. Besides, if Qui-Gon couldn't think of a way out of this mess, there was always the back door method.

"Out of the way, sirrah!" a voice shouted as a horse galloped past, almost trampling Obi-Wan. The padawan had only a moment to thank the Force for fast reflexes before he jumped out of the way and landed right into a mud puddle beside the road.

He sat there for a moment, stunned by the thought that he'd almost been squashed by an equine. He'd followed his master through uprisings across the galaxy, through invasions and diplomatic incidents that had brought down thrones only to end up on this mudball of a backwoods planet almost meeting the Force after being trampled by an equine.

It was at times like this that he wondered why he'd argued about going to Agricorps.

"Are you all right?" a voice asked right above him before a pair of hands were helping him out of the puddle.

"Yes, thank you," the padawan replied as he got to his feet and turned to thank his helper.

Further words of thanks, however, froze in his throat. A young man perhaps a year older than he stood beside him with a pair of wide green eyes that stole Obi-Wan's breath and brains away in a matter of moments. A faint thought drifted through his otherwise shorted out mind that he'd only seen that shade of green once when he had been walking the deep paths of an ancient forest moon.

The young man smiled briefly before he glanced back at the disappearing horseman. As soon as eye contact was broken, Obi-Wan found himself able to think again.

"Sir Perivere never has much care for anyone in his way," the young man said in a light tenor voice as he glanced back at Obi-Wan. "You should be more careful."

"Umm, yeah. Thanks," the padawan replied intelligently before he forced himself to look away from those spell-binding eyes. "I'll...ummm...try to be more careful."

"See that you are," the young man said genially. "Most of the knights here are a decent sort but there are some to avoid. Like Perivere." The young man tilted his head curiously. "You must be relatively new around here not to know him."

Obi-Wan nodded and risked a glance to find the taller boy watching him with a half-smile. "Yes, we've only been here a few weeks." The padawan sighed as he realized what he must look like after being dumped in a puddle. So much for good first impressions. "We arrived just before the battle actually."

"You were in the battle?" Obi-Wan wondered at the interest he heard in the other boy's voice. "Are you a squire then? Who is your knight?"

Obi-Wan considered how to respond as he wiped as much mud as he could from his clothes.

"I suppose you might consider me a squire since I am in training for my knighthood," Obi-Wan responded as he checked the lightsaber hanging from his belt for damage. "My master is Qui-Gon Jinn."

A quick gasp indicated that his new companion knew who Qui-Gon was. "The out-world wizard?" The older teen paled as his green eyes widened. "Then you're..." The boy's words faded as he stepped back and gave a quick, awkward bow. "Your Majesty, I had no idea."

"Shhh!" Obi-Wan hushed the boy as he glanced around to see if anyone had heard and then pulled his taller friend towards some of the shambling buildings on the outskirts of the village. "I don't want to get sent back to the castle yet."

"But you should not be out alone!" the other protested in a low tone. "There are still those who desire the throne and will have no hesitation to walk over your twitching body to get it!"

"Thank you for the image." Obi-Wan gave the teen a disgusted look. "But you don't have to worry. I can take care of myself." The padawan dropped his companion's arm and sauntered into the main part of the village, looking around curiously.

"Like you did when Sir Perivere almost ran you down?" the taller boy asked in a dark tone. Obi-Wan merely shrugged.

"Look, I appreciated your help back there and I'll be more careful but I am not going back to the castle yet." He glanced at his new friend out of the corner of his eye. Truly, the young man was the most handsome sentient he'd seen besides his own master.

"Your Majesty, please..." the young man reached out to catch Obi-Wan's arm. The padawan shushed him again.

"Just call me Obi-Wan, okay?" the young Jedi asked as he glanced around again. But he didn't have to worry. No one was paying attention to two teenagers in the large crowds of people strolling through the village.

"It would not be proper..." the boy began but the apprentice held up his hand.

"And what should I call you?" Obi-Wan asked, trying to avoid mention of the title again.

The taller teenager looked irritated for a moment then almost sheepish.

"My name is actually Arthur but everyone calls me...."

"WART! Where the hell are you?"

"What do you think of the Lady Guinevere, Majesty?" Arthur asked hesitantly from his place at Obi-Wan's side.

"Hum?" Obi-Wan asked absently as studied his dinner and tried to decide just what it had been before the kitchen dragged it down to the Dark side.

The pair was seated on a raised dais with Master Jinn to Obi-Wan's right and, to the padawan's chagrin, Master Merlin was seated to Arthur's left. That weird old spacenut would just have to be Arthur's mentor, wouldn't he?

The rest of the knights and ladies were randomly seated along long tables running the length of the great hall in the drafty old castle Obi-Wan was quickly coming to hate.

After their meeting this afternoon, the padawan had quickly decided that Arthur should be his 'royal companion'. Not only was the young man informative and sharp-witted, he was also the most handsome thing on the planet Obi-Wan had seen to date. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that by requesting Arthur's company on a semi-permanent, Obi-Wan had seriously peeved Arthur's foster brother Kay, a crabby young knight who seemed to think Arthur was his own personal slave.

"Your Majesty?"

"Yes, Arthur?" Obi-Wan replied again, this time giving his companion a bit more attention.

"The Lady Guinevere," Arthur asked again, his voice low. "At the middle table on the left and down two knights. What do you think of her?"

The padawan glanced towards the young woman his new friend indicated. She simpered and gave him what he considered a rather sly smile. Obi-Wan went back to trying to figure out what exactly was on his plate. He poked at it.

"Kinda scrawny," he noted to his friend. "Why?"

Arthur gave the girl another curious glance before he shrugged his shoulders and dug into his own dinner. "I heard my father saying that she would be a good match for the crown," he said idly.

It took Obi-Wan almost a complete minute before he made the connection. Then Arthur was thumping him hard on the back to keep him from choking. Finally, the young man pushed his well-meaning friend away.

"Majesty?" Arthur inquired as Obi-Wan tried to breathe slowly.

"I'm fine," he wheezed. "Truly. Go back to eating your...whatever."

The young man gave Obi-Wan a final concerned looked before he turned back to his plate. The padawan could practically feel the glances his friend shot his way but Obi-Wan was focused on breathing slowly and not panicking.

Obi-Wan? came his master's concerned query.

Master, I need to speak with you after dinner the padawan stated in no uncertain terms.

Indeed?

RIGHT after dinner.

Obi-Wan saw his master's lips twitch ever so slightly. You know I am at your convenience, your Majesty, the Jedi Master replied, his blue eyes gleaming.

That is SO not funny, Master the padawan grated as he went back to poking his food.

"I did not mean to upset you, Obi-Wan," Arthur said quietly as he leaned close, pulling Obi-Wan's attention from his master. "But you must know your marriage is already being discussed."

The padawan glanced up to meet Arthur's handsome green eyes and he sighed inwardly. "I didn't know, Arthur," the younger teen stated in an equally low tone. "But there's something you should know." Obi-Wan glanced down the table at the lady in question and then back to Arthur. "I'd be more inclined to spend time in the company of the hottie knight next to Guinevear than with Guinevear herself."

Arthur leaned back, his eyes wide for a long moment before his gaze darted down the table. He leaned back for a moment, contemplating. Then he smirked.

"I can certainly understand that, Majesty," he said with a chuckle. "Sir Lancelot created quite the stir when he appeared in court shortly before you and Master Jinn arrived." Arthur met Obi-Wan's eyes with a direct look and a slightly arched brow. "He is a...'hottie'?"

"Oh yeah," Obi-Wan grinned. Nowhere in your league but definitely a hottie.

"My league?" Arthur queried carefully and the padawan suddenly flushed. Force take me now.

"Tell me I didn't say that out loud."

"Was it an insult then?" the older youth asked, his eyes narrowed.

"No! No it wasn't an insult. By any means," Obi-Wan stammered quickly as he glanced over Arthur's face. "At all."

"Ah." Arthur looked thoughtful. "A compliment then perhaps?"

Obi-Wan glanced up at his friend and nodded. "Actually, yes it was."

"I see," the older youth said in a studied tone. "Then perhaps you should know I don't think I've ever seen anyone who would be in your 'league' either."

The padawan met Arthur's eyes, a tentative smile on his lips that was returned before Arthur suddenly turned back to his dinner. "Perhaps we could explore the castle a bit after dinner, Majesty?" he asked carefully.

"I'd like that," Obi-Wan replied softly as he poked at his own dinner and thought about the joys of ration bars. At least they would give him some energy, he thought with a smirk.

Are we still meeting after dinner, padawan? his master's amused query filtered into his mind and Obi-Wan glanced up quickly.

Maybe not RIGHT after dinner, Master?

In the morning then. Qui-Gon gave his student an understanding smile. And I have to agree with you. Arthur definitely transcends hottie status.

Master!

Obi-Wan turned back to his dinner as he heard Qui-Gon chuckling faintly beside him. With a small grin of his own, the padawan glanced back at the young man beside him. Instead of catching Arthur's eye, however, he found his gaze caught by the old master seated next to his friend.

The odd old man said nothing but slowly, one of Master Merlin's eyebrows rose.

Obi-Wan felt himself blushing hotly from his toes up. He'd never seen such a lascivious leer expressed in the arch of an eyebrow before.

"Just ignore him, your Majesty," Arthur murmured, never raising his eyes from his plate. "He's an old lecher."

Merlin's other eyebrow rose to join the first one. He looked down his nose at his student.

"And just how would you know that, young Arthur?" he asked Arthur in a warning tone.

"I've seen you eyeing Sir Egbert," the young man replied, completely unintimidated. "And I heard about you and Oberon." He glanced up with a smirk. "Titania was most displeased."

Merlin's eyes softened and his lips almost curved. "Ah yes," he sighed. "The things we do when we're young and stupid." With these last words, he looked pointedly at Arthur and Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan looked offended and Arthur merely rolled his eyes and went back to his dinner.

TBC...