Warnings: Umm, it is a first - it is short and tis riddled
with cliches, though only sweet nice ones. Written quickly at
6am in the morning in a whim. Another slight variation of the
better to have loved and loss then never at all etc etc etc,
though Sappho says it better!!
Disclaimer: Oh come on!!!! There is no way, no how I am gonna
get sued for this, but just in case: All characters mentioned
(there is only one), as well as the Jedi - is the property of
Lucasfilm. I have no money. End of disclaimer.
I have no regrets. It was always meant to be. I never
questioned it, ever. I was 18 when I submitted the request for
our lifebond to the Council. Of course the Council was at it's
most predictable, taking forever to come to a decision. And
although it was a private matter, in the Temple information is
hard to keep private, elite warriors notwithstanding, Jedi
Knights loved gossip.
So I guess I should not have been surprised with the stream of
warnings I recieved, albeit good intentioned. All my friends,
even kind hearted Bant, expressed their concern. You are
young!! You should wait until you know your mind! You have had
no other lovers - wait, wait, wait!!! But I could no more wait
then I could stop the force, how can you wait when you have
found the other half of your soul? The only person who
understood was my beloved, for the pull was just as strong for
him - we were meant to be, we had waited all our lives for
this.
In retrospect I have begun to understand their concern, a
lifebond is the strongest of ties any two people can achieve, a
blending of soul, heart and mind, ties once forged, can never
be broken - not even in death. Another could never come between
that union, even after one half of this union joins the force.
Intellectually, even then, I understood that he would die
before me, it was an unspoken understanding between us. It
mattered not, I know I would survive his death, my duty as a
Knight would leave no doubt. Melodramatic and morbidly romantic
the old plays may be, suicide was never an option. Even back
then there were so few of us, and the universe's problems were
constant, so I was prepared for the years of loneliness, for
the years I would be alone. No, suicide was never an option,
but it did not stop me from desperately wanting it, for a time.
We were meant to be, many people search for their other half
forever, we found each other so easily, were so happy, so I
guess the balance had to swing the other way eventually, great
happiness always comes with a price. I have no regrets.
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