Master Apprentice
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Chapter 10
Obi-Wan was speaking with a very boring dignitary at a celebratory party. He and his padawan had negotiated a treaty that gave the planet peace for the first time in a hundred and fifty years. //Master!// came a pleading voice down the link. It was the seventh time he had received the same plea that night. //Please get me out of this!//
Obi-Wan looked across the room where his padawan was surrounded by a group of young women. He was attempting to escape them, but was having no luck. //Apparently you're popular among the women, my Padawan.// he chuckled.
//Master! Help me!// Qui-Gon's plea was getting desperate and he had finally managed to meet his master's eyes. The boy looked so miserable, though he was speaking with all of the girls in a very polite manner. He did not return their interest, but he was companionable always. When one of the girls began to stroke the young man's arm, Obi-Wan decided he had better save his padawan.
"Please excuse me," he bowed out of the conversation that several of the other dignitaries were carrying on. He walked over to the group surrounding his padawan and squeezed into the inner circle. "Pardon me ladies, but I believe it is time for my padawan and I to retire for the evening." There were several audible groans from the young women, but Obi-Wan hid his grin.
"Thank you for a lovely evening," Qui-Gon stated, bowing low to all of the courtiers before following his master out of the room.
"They didn't seem that bad, my Padawan," Obi-Wan chuckled.
"You didn't have to spend all night with them hanging on you," Qui-Gon shot back.
"Most young men would be quite thrilled at the idea. They were obviously taken with you, Qui-Gon." The youth grunted and walked quickly to their assigned rooms.
"That's not what I want, Master. I don't want a relationship like that. They didn't care about anything other than I was Jedi and I looked good!" Qui-Gon declared.
"And what do you want, my Padawan?"
Qui-Gon looked into his master's eyes and replied with one heart-wrenching word. "Love." Obi-Wan gasped at the intent gaze his padawan had locked on him. He realized it was time to back out of this particular conversation. He wasn't ready to deal with the implications that his padawan's eyes held. Though Qui-Gon was seventeen and only one year away from when he would remember everything, it was still too early to have this talk.
"I see," Obi-Wan hedged. "Well, I do believe it is time for us to go to bed."
"Yes, Master." Qui-Gon's response relieved Obi-Wan greatly. It seemed he would be able to put off this conversation for a while yet.
"Master?" Qui-Gon called out when he arrived back in their quarters. He had been out for a run earlier, and returned later than he had told his master he would.
"In here, Padawan," Obi-Wan called from the kitchen. He was making their dinner, a simple fare of bread and fruit. The planet was poor, though their quarters were in the royal palace and rather elegant. They were there to help equalize the classes, as a revolt had begun several years ago. The masses of the poor had finally demanded the riches of the few. With his passionate heart and penchant for the underdog, Qui-Gon was having a hard time with the mission. He wanted to help the poor and needy, but the negotiations were slow.
"I ran into Eshrika again today," Qui-Gon told him as he began to set the table. Eshrika was a young noble woman who had taken quite a liking to the young man.
"Did you?"
"Yes. She rather upset me, I'm afraid," Qui-Gon admitted.
"How is that?"
"She offered to take me to her bedroom." The young man's statement was reeling with disgust.
"And why does this upset you, Padawan?"
"She doesn't love me!" the boy cried. "All she feels is lust."
Obi-Wan swallowed past the lump in his throat. He had a distinct feeling he wasn't going to be able to avoid the conversation he dreaded much longer. Looking over his shoulder to the young man who had plopped down at the table, he sighed.
"Padawan..." he began, a bit shaky.
"What? Why don't you ever want to talk about this?!" he demanded. "If you don't love me, why don't you just say so?" The boy's blue eyes implored him. He looked so vulnerable in that moment and it made Obi-Wan's heart ache.
"Qui-Gon, that's not the problem..."
"Then what is?" he demanded. "Do you love me?"
"Of course I do, my Padawan, but..."
"But what?!" Qui-Gon interrupted again. "You know I love you. What's wrong with that?"
"Qui-Gon, you're only seventeen. You can't know your heart so well yet," Obi-Wan insisted.
"Yes I do," the boy declared. His blue eyes were flashing with a barely restrained anger.
"Padawan, we shouldn't talk about this now." Obi-Wan pleaded.
"Fine!" came the vehement shout. "Forget I said anything. Excuse me, Master." The boy immediately turned on his heel and walked to his separate quarters. The door slammed and Obi-Wan heard the lock click. He sighed, but he decided it was better to leave the younger man alone for a little while. Despite the curt tone his padawan used, he decided not to pursue it in that moment.
When several hours had gone by, Obi-Wan decided it was time to talk to the boy. Misery was resonating through their bond even though the boy was shielding tightly. It was also long past their dinner time, and yet the boy did not appear. Qui-Gon walked to the door and knocked. There was no reply, and when he tried to access him through the bond, he realized that his padawan was deep in meditation. Using the force, Obi-Wan unlocked the door.
He was about to step in when he felt his mouth gape open in surprise. Qui-Gon was manipulating the objects in the room again, but this was far more intense than ever before. "Sweet force," he whispered in shock. Everything was moving in the room. The bed, a dresser that was made of an extremely heavy wood, and even the boy himself. It was the first time Obi-Wan had ever seen Qui-Gon caught up in his own manipulations. But here he was, flying through the air, oblivious to the fact that he was part of the orbiting material. The speed in which everything moved was also far greater than he had ever witnessed. The orbits were crazy and unstable, rather than the usually quiet order that was maintained.
"Qui-Gon," he shouted in shock and worry. The boy's eyes snapped open and the objects he had been in control of started to fall, including himself. The bed landed heavily and Qui-Gon fell, smashing the left side of his hip. He fell to the floor and cried out at the sharp pain that raced through his body. The dresser was poised directly above him and he cried out in fear as it started to crash down. Obi-Wan reached out with the force and stopped its decent before it reached his padawan.
He rushed to the boy and pulled him out of the way before setting the dresser down. "Padawan! Are you all right?" he asked as he began to probe the boy's wounded hip.
"Ouch! Don't touch that. It hurts."
"What were you doing?" Obi asked as he carried his padawan out of the disheveled room and laid him down on the couch.
"Meditating," came the plaintive reply.
"Padawan," Obi-Wan warned. The boy stared at him with cold and hurting eyes as his master began to force heal the bruising hip. "This is about our earlier conversation, isn't it?" Obi-Wan watched as the boy dropped his head but didn't say a word.
"Why won't you let me love you?" he whimpered.
"Qui-Gon, you know I care for you very deeply."
"But you don't love me." the other man finished.
"That's not it. I love you very much. It's just not a good idea to start this now."
"Why? Didn't you love me before? Is that why you're pushing me away?"
Obi-Wan sighed and pulled his padawan into his embrace. "I loved you very much before. I loved you more than I loved anyone else."
"Did I love you?" he whispered. It was a fear that had been gnawing at him since his master had started looking so uncomfortable around him when he spoke of love.
"I like to think you did," Obi-Wan revealed. "But you were a very private man, Qui-Gon. You hid your emotions from everyone, including me."
"Then you don't know how I felt?" Qui-Gon murmured.
"I know you loved me as a padawan and a friend. But we never had the chance to find out how deeply we cared for each other. I'm not even sure you knew I loved you as deeply as I did and still do."
"Then we have to wait," he stated painfully. "Until I'm twenty and remember how I felt?"
"Yes. We have to wait. But know this, Qui-Gon Jinn. I love you more than I love life itself. That is the same as it was before and is the truth now. However you find yourself feeling in the future, I want to remain part of your life, even if that is just as friends."
"I will wait then. I know I love you now, that's all that's important." Qui-Gon finally settled into his master's embrace rather than continuing the fight to pull away.
"Good. Now, what do you say we put your room back in order?" Obi-Wan grinned down at the boy. Qui-Gon laughed and hugged the older man tightly.
"I don't know, I kinda like it the way it is!" the youth laughed.
"Well, it'll be hard to get your clothes out of the dresser when it's upside down," Obi chuckled.
"I see what you mean. I suppose we should straighten up a bit."
Chapter 11
The pair of Jedi arrived on Coruscant the night before Qui-Gon was to turn twenty. When Bant learned of their arrival, she set up a quiet welcome home party with herself and Master Yoda. She knew that the two men wouldn't want to deal with a lot of Jedi during this stressful and exciting period, but both were comfortable with the small gathering. Qui-Gon had even sent her a message on from the ship bringing them home, telling her he was excited to be able to see her and Kara again. He liked the ancient Jedi master a great deal as well.
Yoda had come to believe that Qui-Gon wasn't actually overly dependent on his master, but rather, was adjusting quite well. Since then, Qui-Gon had become much more comfortable with Yoda, easily remembering his youth when he had been raised exclusively by the ancient one. Watching his master interact with the ancient master was quite amusing. Obi-Wan was constantly trying to keep Yoda from telling Qui-Gon about his own youth. "Remember soon he will anyway, problem this should not be," was the common response from the older master.
"At least give me the time I have left to have his respect," Obi would plead. Yoda always agreed for the moment, but a few hours later he would be whispering the story to young Qui-Gon. The laughter would never fail to bring Obi-Wan running in to shout at Yoda in mock anger that he had broken his promise. Yoda always responded with a comment that made him blameless.
"When eight hundred years old you are, forgetful you will become as well." It all made Qui-Gon laugh harder. In response, Obi-Wan would demand a story about Qui-Gon's youth. Rather than embarrassing the youth, stories of his own crazy antics only made Qui-Gon laugh harder.
When the two arrived at Bant and Kara's quarters, Qui-Gon was barely containing his excitement. It had been far too long since they had last seen the other pair. "Ah, this is a difference from your first time going to Master Eerin's," Obi commented.
Qui-Gon turned to look at his master and smiled softly. "I suppose it is," he agreed. "It's just been a while since we've seen them." The boy had grown to his previous height, now dwarfing his master. It was becoming much harder for Obi-Wan to hide his feelings for the other man, but his nervousness about how Qui would feel at the end of the next day kept him at bay. But the longing looks he caught Qui-Gon shooting him weren't helping one bit.
"It has been a while, my Padawan," Obi-Wan agreed. "You make me so very proud, Qui-Gon. You've come so far in these last five years."
Qui-Gon turned to face his master. "I owe it all to you, Master."
"You don't give yourself enough credit, Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan held his padawan's shoulders in his hands and squeezed. Qui-Gon collapsed into his master, allowing himself to be folding in a warm embrace. "I love you so much, my Padawan," Obi-Wan admitted. He heard Qui-Gon catch his breath and prayed he hadn't made a mistake.
"I love you too, Master. I know I'll love you even more come tomorrow," the youth whispered. Obi-Wan felt himself smile, and prayed that Qui-Gon spoke what was actually to happen in the morning.
They pulled out of the embrace and Obi-Wan triggered the bell for Bant and Kara's apartment. Having his arm still wrapped around his padawan's waist, they were ushered into the rooms. "Obi, Qui! It's so good to see you again!" Bant gushed. "Come in, come in!" She hugged both of them before practically pushing them both into Kara's arms.
"Wow!" Kara blushed. "You've sure grown up, Qui!"
Qui-Gon blushed faintly as well and smiled. "Thank you, it's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you two back in the temple as well. It's been far too long since we last saw you."
"That it has," Obi agreed, stepping in between the two padawans. It was apparent that Kara hadn't yet grown out of her fascination for Qui. Fortunately, Qui-Gon seemed to be able to take the attention much better than he had the first time girls started to show an interest in him.
"Good to see you, it is," came a familiar voice from the kitchen. "Come, drink tea." Yoda carried a tray with five mugs on it and a pot of tea.
"Master Yoda!" Qui-Gon's smile grew wide and he practically ran to the Jedi master and wrapped him up in a hug once Yoda had put the tray down on the coffee table.
"Happy I am to see you again. Well, have you been?"
Qui-Gon grinned and nodded. "I'm a bit nervous though," he whispered.
"Worry not, my former padawan," Yoda whispered back. "Loved him you did." Perhaps telling Qui-Gon the answer to his fears could have been construed as interference, but Yoda felt it was better to ease the youth's mind. From the grin and resulting hug, Yoda was even more convinced he was right.
"Thank you, Master Yoda." Qui-Gon's entire face had lit up, and his posture had visibly relaxed. Yoda nodded and tapped him lightly with his gimer stick.
"Let me speak to your Master you will now, hmm?"
"Of course, Master Yoda." Qui-Gon stood and backed away, letting his master step up to kneel before the ancient Jedi.
"Master, have you been well since we last saw you?" Obi-Wan asked as he knelt before the other master.
"Well, I have been, yes. Concern I have for you. How handling the stress of the upcoming birthday are you?"
"I am well, Master Yoda. I worry for my padawan, he seems rather nervous."
"Fine the boy will be, have no worry for him."
Obi-Wan's eyebrow rose and Yoda smiled at him. "I fear that is much easier said than done," Obi-Wan chuckled. Yoda nodded and laughed a bit himself.
"Getting cold the tea is," he hedged, effectively changing the subject.
"Then I suggest we drink."
"Let me, Masters." Qui-Gon stepped forward and gripped the pot of tea, pouring some into each of the cups. Once the act was finished, he held out two of the cups to the two of his masters, then walked two over Bant and her padawan, then went back to pick up his own.
"Oh, sit down, sit down, you have all walked enough for one day," Bant spoke as she pushed the two padawans toward the couch. "You must tell us all about your last missions."
"There is little to tell, my friend." Obi-Wan spoke. "Our missions were not different from any other. They were plain."
"Don't tell me that!" Bant laughed. "I have never known either one of you to go on a boring mission. You always come up with surprises."
"Perhaps that is the usual, but not this time, I'm afraid. There is truly not much tell."
"Oh, fine. Be that way," Bant laughed. She turned to Qui-Gon then. "How have you been, Qui-Gon?"
"I have missed being in the temple, but I am fine," he smiled back at her.
"Do you have a plan for the morning?" Kara asked. She was nervous about bringing up the upcoming events, but her curiosity won out.
"Yes," Qui-Gon nodded, swallowing convulsively. "I start meditating right away in the morning in one of the master's gardens that will be closed for the day. At some point, I should begin to remember. After I remember everything, I have to meditate for a few more hours to find my balance again. Then I can stay in the garden or come back home, depending on how I feel."
"Do you get to eat?" Kara asked in disbelief and horror. She couldn't imagine going the entire day without food. All of the masters in the room burst out in laughter, but Qui-Gon just smiled.
"Yes, I'm bringing some rations with me."
"Oh, good." The relief in the young girl's voice made Bant and Obi-Wan begin to laugh all over again. "Are you nervous?"
"A little, yes," Qui-Gon revealed. "I just don't know what to expect."
The rest of the evening flowed companionably, conversation drifting from the upcoming events, to the occurrences that had occurred in Qui-Gon's youthful life. Obi-Wan recalled his terror of the Kolki incident and the horror he had felt when Qui-Gon had been beaten. His worry still colored his voice and he had to swallow around a knot in his throat to speak. Yoda then turned the conversation to more light hearted days. Soon they were laughing about the obstinate youth who seemed to disobey his master at every turn. Qui-Gon blushed and laughed about all of the things he had forgotten, or the absurd reasons he had attempted to use to justify his actions.
Soon, the night was drawing to an end, and it was time to send Qui-Gon to sleep so he would have energy for the next day. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon excused themselves and made their way to their own quarters. Once there, Qui-Gon wrapped his master up in a fierce embrace. "I'm scared," he whispered.
"It'll be all right, Qui. No matter what, I'll be here. I'll be waiting." Obi-Wan's assurance helped, and Qui-Gon was soon able to let go and move to his own room.
"Good night, Master. I'll see you soon."
"Good night, Qui-Gon."
The next morning, Obi-Wan woke to find the apartment empty. His padawan had already woken and went to the gardens to begin his meditation. There was fresh fruit and juice on the kitchen table, proving that Qui-Gon had not forgotten his duty to prepare the meals. In the cooler Obi-Wan found a pre-prepared lunch and light dinner, just in case. He smiled to himself at his padawan's thoughtfulness. Though he had attempted to convince his padawan that there was nothing to worry about, Obi-Wan found his own anxiety levels rising.
After breakfast, the chime for the door sounded, startling him out of his own meditation. When he answered the door, he was face to face with Bant. "I thought you could use some company for a couple hours," she smiled.
Obi-Wan gratefully let her in, giving her a quick hug. "Thank you, Bant. You know me far too well."
"What do you expect? I've known you since I came to the creche," she laughed. "Now come sit down and talk with me. You need to get your mind off of your padawan for a while."
"I don't think that's possible right now," he grumbled.
"Well then, it's my job to distract you." She grabbed his hand and pulled him down onto the couch. "I'll go make some of my special tea. That is guaranteed to relax you!"
The two friends talked for a long time, but Obi-Wan's mind never wandered far from the time or his padawan/master's plight. As the day drew to evening, Bant took her leave, not wanting to be a third wheel when Qui-Gon came back. As soon as she was gone, Obi-Wan pulled out his meditation mat and unrolled it. Sinking to his knees, he attempted to calm his pounding heart enough to sink into a relaxation meditation. His emotions were running away with him, causing him to fear the worst once Qui-Gon returned - if he returned.
They had given the boy several options once he came out of his meditation. If he didn't feel he could face Obi-Wan, he would go to Yoda's or Bant's. There was even a private room open for him, just in case. The fear that Qui-Gon wouldn't return to their rooms grew with every moment that Qui-Gon didn't walk through the door. Though part of him knew that Qui-Gon would never avoid him completely, the fear still existed. As early evening became mid evening, it gnawed at him.
He couldn't hide the fact that he was desperately in love with his padawan/master. Having been allowed to watch the boy grow into the man only increased his desire. His heart had been broken when his master died before Obi was ever able to tell him how he felt. Now, his heart was threatening to break again if the man didn't feel the same way the boy did. He had wanted to fall into Qui-Gon's arms the first time it became obvious that the boy had fallen in love with him, but respect for the man made that impossible. It had to be an informed choice, and the only way for Qui-Gon to be entirely informed was for him to remember his past. But the possible cost of that information was almost too much to bear. At least he would have had the chance to be with Qui-Gon for a while if he had acted. But, all of those thoughts came too late. Somewhere in the temple, Qui-Gon the boy was meeting Qui-Gon the man.
When the chime rang softly, Obi-Wan just about jumped out of his skin. Qui-Gon would not ring the chime, Bant had told him she was leaving him for the night, so that only left Yoda. Perhaps Yoda was coming to tell him that Qui-Gon was staying with him. The possibility made Obi-Wan's heart constrict. He approached the door hesitantly, and the chime rang again. Finally, he reached the door and opened it.
As he had suspected, it was Yoda. "Late he is, hmm?" Yoda commented, stepping past Obi-Wan and entering the room. Obi-Wan felt himself sigh with relief. Then Qui-Gon had not avoided him. He was still meditating.
"Yes," he answered, walking to the kitchen to grab some tea for the elder master.
"Nervous you are, yes?" Yoda followed him into the kitchen and hoisted himself into one of the chairs. Obi-Wan set a cup in front of him and waited for the water to heat up. He smiled at the ancient master; Yoda was always able to read him.
"I am a bit nervous, yes," he admitted. "I can't help but wonder what's taking him so long."
"Be back soon, he will. In his reflective meditation, he is." Yoda spoke so knowingly that Obi-Wan had no choice but to accept it as fact. He poured the water into the small Jedi's cup and watched as he drank it down at once. He seemed unaffected by the temperature. "Tell him to see me in the morning, you will," the master demanded. He then stood up and made his way to the door. Just before he left, he turned and said, "On his way, he is."
Obi-Wan stood, staring at the door, feeling his heart begin to race. He turned around and went back to the kitchen. Once there, he placed Yoda's mug in the sink and prepared a pot of tea for his padawan/master. Fortunately, Qui-Gon's favorite tea had remained constant throughout both of his lifetimes. Obi-Wan prepared a pot of it and then carried the tea and two mugs to the common room. Just as he was putting it down on the coffee table, he heard the door open and shut.
Gasping, Obi-Wan refused to turn around. He felt every muscle in his body tense in fear and apprehension. He heard the footsteps enter the common room and then stop. Then, all of the sudden, he was wrapped up in strong arms as a mouth latched onto the junction of neck and shoulder. He cried out in surprise and lust, thrusting his hips backwards into the other man's groin.
"Love you," came the throaty growl from behind him. The other man then backed away enough to turn Obi-Wan to face him.
"Qui?" Obi asked, reaching one of his hands to stroke the bare cheek. Qui-Gon's reaction was perfect, he sent memories of both lives down their link while reaching up to cup both of the other man's cheeks with his hands.
//I remember,// he sent. Then Obi closed his eyes as the taller man leaned down to capture his lips. Obi-Wan groaned, wrapping his own arms around Qui-Gon's waist, pulling him closer and holding on tight. After several moments of a deep and all consuming kiss, Obi-Wan pulled away. He was breathing rapidly as he stared into Qui-Gon's blue eyes. In those orbs, he could see his old master once again, and the sensation was surreal. Here was his former master, locked in the body of his former padawan.
"Tea?" he asked, desperate to slow things down a bit, just to get his bearings. Qui-Gon grinned and nodded. He sat down on the couch and watched as Obi-Wan poured the tea. When the Jedi handed Qui-Gon his cup, he sat down, allowing Qui to wrap one arm around his shoulder. Obi-Wan settled into the embrace, resting his head against the other man's chest. "I don't know whether to call you Master or Padawan," he commented.
Qui-Gon laughed. "Me neither," he revealed. "Perhaps we should just use names."
"Ah, that works. I do know your name," he grinned. "And after calling you by it so often these past five years, I'm much more comfortable using it.
"Good," came the easy reply.
"How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan's question was much more inclusive than it sounded.
"Yes," Qui-Gon answered. At Obi-Wan's confused expression, Qui-Gon continued. "Yes, I loved you before I died, I was in love with my padawan."
Obi-Wan felt a smile spread across his face. He wrapped his arms tightly around the other man's waist and lifted his face to claim another kiss. Qui-Gon kept the kiss chaste, but soon Obi was deepening it, sliding his tongue across the other man's lips until they parted. He explored his lover's mouth, loving how well the other man responded, groaning deep in his chest. Obi-Wan swung his legs over, straddling Qui-Gon's legs, never breaking the kiss. He brought his hands up and wound them in the long silky hair he had spent the last five years taking care of. Soon he found himself grinding his hips into the rising ones of his former master. Breaking the kiss, he gasped for air and tried to still himself.
"Oh, I love you so much," Obi-Wan whispered, running his hands down familiar features, mapping the other man's face. The mouth curved into a smile as Qui-Gon kissed the pads of Obi-Wan's fingers when they passed. "I almost died when I thought you were gone," he said as he brought his face down to nuzzle at Qui-Gon's neck. Qui-Gon massaged his neck and kissed the top of his head.
"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain," he murmured, using his other hand to lazily rub the other man's back. "I never wanted to leave you, I swear."
Obi-Wan nodded. He knew Qui-Gon wouldn't have voluntarily left him, but they were Jedi. Duty had come in between them, and it may well do the same again one day. "I will love you for whatever time the Force grants us. That will be enough."
"I will love you for the rest of my life, my Obi-Wan. I swear my life to you," Qui-Gon answered the vow with the traditional one, effectively stating the bond which they planned to initiate later that evening. They had promised themselves to each other, joining their lives to each other.
Obi-Wan wrapped his arms tightly around his love and felt the answering embrace. "Forever," they whispered together. "Our love forever," they finished the ceremony, binding themselves to each other.
END