Master Apprentice
Archive
Mutual Acceptance
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Homepage: www.slashcity.org/~anafic
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ana_stasia/
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Rating: G
Status: Complete
Category: Angst, H/C
Summary: A training exercise goes too far, but all is not lost.
Spoilers: just for TPM in general
Archive: My own site. All others please ask.
Author's Notes: My thanks to Caly for staying with this fic over the last several months and for the final beta of it.
Story Notes: The first paragraph of this fic was written by Calysta Rose. I needed something to get me started and she came up with that. The direction I took was nowhere near what she'd been expecting but, then, I've never been one to write fic that goes where people are expecting it to. It's how I keep myself entertained ... : )
Obi-Wan slowly lifted the branch that covered the shuttle's door. The interior of the craft was shadowed, the only light coming from the broken windshield. A soft groan caught Obi-Wan's attention and he moved forward.
"Master Qui-Gon?" The seven year old peered into the darkness, squinting, willing his eyes to adjust so that he could see. "Master? Are you okay?"
Remembering Master Yoda's lessons, Obi-Wan reached out with the Force, 'seeing' the injured Jedi master more clearly than if the craft were fully lit. Master Qui-Gon lay curled on his side on the floor of the shuttle, his long hair fanned out around him, and for a moment Obi-Wan's thoughts turned to angels.
The gash across Master Qui-Gon's forehead brought Obi-Wan back to the present. "Master, can you hear me?" Obi-Wan knelt beside the man who was nearly a giant compared to him. "Master, please be all right."
When the Jedi master didn't move, Obi-Wan felt tears flooding his eyes. But he didn't cry; he wouldn't. He wasn't a crèche baby anymore. He was in training to be a padawan and padawans didn't cry. They used the Force and solved their own problems. That's what Master Yoda taught.
Slowly, Obi-Wan calmed himself, quieting his mind. Placing a hand over the Jedi master's chest, Obi-Wan felt the steady, even beating of his heart. Cocking his head, Obi-Wan listened to the shuttle. There was an intermittent hissing noise, probably indicating wires that had been severed in the crash. There was also a faint trickling that made Obi-Wan frown, his brow creasing.
Picturing the shuttle from his Spacecraft Technology text, Obi-Wan ran through its parts and functions, trying to remember the various liquids contained in a craft. Among the several he could recall, one of them had a very distinct smell. Listening for the sound again, Obi-Wan focused on any odors that would not be consistent with the forest surroundings. After nearly a full minute of honing the Force and his senses, he found it: the shuttle was leaking fuel.
As he reached his conclusion, Obi-Wan remembered something. This was a training exercise. It wasn't real; it was part of a class meant to aid in preparing initiates to become padawans. And if it were only an exercise, that meant nothing bad could happen to him, didn't it?
Quickly, Obi-Wan backed out of the craft, standing up and looking around. The sky was a deep indigo where he could see it through the trees. The rain that had been threatening all day now fell in a fine mist and if the distant rumbling of thunder were any indication, there would soon be a downpour.
In the mostly silent woods, Obi-Wan could neither see nor hear any of the other initiates, though there had been a dozen of them out in the forest when the exercise began. Opening his mind, he tried to get a sense of Master Yoda but failed. It didn't mean much; Master Yoda was very capable of blocking himself from his students as he deemed it necessary.
As the rain began to fall harder, Obi-Wan bit his lower lip nervously. Master Yoda had never actually revealed how the trainees would know the demonstration was complete. Obi-Wan had located the shuttle and gotten to the supposedly injured Jedi master inside. If no one was calling him back or coming to congratulate him, perhaps the exercise was not yet over. Or perhaps this was not part of the exercise. Perhaps it was real.
Another moan from inside the crashed ship sent a shiver of fear down Obi-Wan's spine. A loud crack of thunder and the brilliant flash of lightning that followed it sent him scrambling into the shuttle, heart pounding.
"Master Qui-Gon? Master Qui-Gon!" Frantically, Obi-Wan took Qui-Gon's arm and shook it, trying to rouse him. "Master, wake up, please! Please tell me what I should do ... "
When his pleas fell on deaf ears, Obi-Wan dropped to his knees, scrubbing at wet eyes with dirty hands. If this was a training scenario, surely he had failed already. If it was reality, he was failing Master Qui-Gon miserably and there would be no one, maybe for a very long time, coming to look for them.
The rain pelting down on the outside of the shuttle roused Obi-Wan from his melancholy thoughts. Though his scores would be poor for the testing, there were things he could do to show he'd at least listened to Master Yoda's lectures about emergencies involving crash landings.
Swiftly, Obi-Wan set about checking the ship's instrument panels. The rain was coming in through the shattered windshield, causing several of the areas to fizz and spark, but Obi-Wan managed to set up the distress beacon, as he'd been taught. Reaching under the co-pilot's seat, Obi-Wan located the first aid kit.
Within minutes, Obi-Wan had cleaned and bandaged the large cut on Qui-Gon's forehead, as well as several smaller scrapes to his arms and legs. Wiping at the blood, blotting up as much as he could, Obi-Wan disposed of the soiled material and returned to the master's side, wondering what to do next.
The Force told him Master Jinn's unconsciousness stemmed from the bump to his head; nothing appeared to be broken or ruptured, even though his body lay at an odd angle. Curling up at the injured master's side, Obi-Wan prepared himself for a long, cold night of monitoring and protecting ... all that was left to do until someone came for him or the Force showed him the way.
A crash of thunder shook the small craft and brought Obi-Wan out of his light slumber. Wide-eyed, he looked around, trying to remember where he was. Master Qui-Gon! Brushing the cobwebs out of his eyes, Obi-Wan knelt up, examining the Jedi master again. The bandage on his head was still in place and he seemed not to have moved from the position Obi-Wan had found him in. His heartbeat, as Obi-Wan put an ear to his chest, listening, seemed steady, if a bit slow.
As he stood, intent on going to the door to look out, Obi-Wan was thrown to the floor by an enormous roll of thunder and a bolt of lightning that rocked the ship. The inside of the ship lit in eerie reaction to the lightning, making the dangling wires and flashing sensors look like something out of a horror story. Despite the hand he'd placed over his mouth, Obi-Wan screamed.
The lightning was too close and Obi-Wan was suddenly very aware of being inside what amounted to a large conductor of electricity. But going outside would be a mistake, he reasoned. It would leave them unprotected, wet, cold, and surrounded by the trees, which were more likely to attract the lightning. Resuming his position beside Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan tried again to reach Master Yoda with his thoughts.
The explosion, when it happened, took Obi-Wan by surprise. He'd almost gotten used to the noise and the constant flashes, closing off his mind against the worst of it, but when the lightning struck the shuttle directly, Obi-Wan felt as if he himself had been hit.
Leaping to his feet, reeling, Obi-Wan looked around. He could see nothing, save a bright light outside the ship, through the broken window. Shaking, peering out of the door into the night, Obi-Wan froze. A circle of fire surrounded them. The ground was charred and burning, despite the pouring rain ... and the shuttle had a broken fuel line.
Obi-Wan's heart was in his throat, making it difficult to breathe. Until this moment, he'd forgotten about the fuel leak and now the error was likely to be deadly. Obi-Wan turned and, in another flash of lightning, saw Qui-Gon lying helplessly on the floor. He could not leave him here to get help, but if he stayed, they would both be killed.
Filled with shame, Obi-Wan hung his head. The other masters were continually cautioning him about being too self-centered; nearly forgetting about Master Qui-Gon proved that point. But what could he do about it? In a sudden moment of clarity, Obi-Wan understood Master Yoda's lessons about change beginning with the now.
Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan summoned the Force around him, concentrating on Master Qui-Gon. For one shimmering moment, the tall Jedi's body lifted slightly, hovering a few centimeters off the floor. Obi-Wan felt the sweat that had been trickling down his neck turn into a river that coursed down his spine. Shivering, he broke his concentration and the Jedi fell to the floor.
He'd had practice manipulating stones and bricks and other objects, but Obi-Wan had never Force-lifted something as heavy or as out-of-balance as a person. He could rise a meter or so above the floor for Master Yoda's exercises, but moving himself and moving someone else were two entirely different things.
If he couldn't use the Force to get Qui-Gon to safety, Obi-Wan knew he would have to physically drag him. And considering the master was almost three times his size and probably four times his weight, it was not something he looked forward to. Two more failed attempts at Force-lifting the Jedi master seemed to leave Obi-Wan with no other option.
Calling upon the Force again, Obi-Wan let it combine with the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he moved to take Qui-Gon under the arms, tugging the heavy body toward the door. Outside, the flames licked the sides of the shuttle, seeming to challenge the young student to escape. Breathing hard, Obi-Wan concentrated on moving Qui-Gon centimeter by centimeter across the floor. The shuttle, which had seemed small before, now seemed as expansive as the great Council Hall itself.
It wasn't until he felt the cold rain hitting his face that Obi-Wan realized he'd made it outside. Gasping for breath, he blinked in confusion, taking no notice of the fire until it climbed up to singe his ankles and robe. With a shout, Obi-Wan came to his senses; checking Qui-Gon, he found the fire nearing the Jedi master, the orange blaze starting after the long strands of hair.
"No!"
Obi-Wan knew it was wrong to channel the Force through negative emotion. He knew it as well as he knew his own name, but he also knew he was not strong enough in the ways of the Light and the use of the Force to help the Jedi master without a bit of a *push*.
Gathering his sorrow and fear and anger around him-the only things he was able to feel-Obi-Wan threw his head back, willing the Force to come to him. Others might have called it desperation ... determination ... salvation. To Obi-Wan it was the beginning of the end. No Master would deem what he was trying to do acceptable. His time as a trainee would soon be ended; his future as a padawan and a Jedi no longer existed.
With the climbing flames hot against his cheeks, Obi-Wan gripped the voluminous folds of the Jedi master's robe with too-small hands and pulled. When nothing happened, he closed his eyes, ridding himself of all emotion, clamping his mind down around what little control he had over the Force. And slowly, the Jedi master's body rose above the fire.
Seconds passed like hours in the world that was now Obi-Wan's. Thoughts clouded, vision blurred by the torrential rains, Obi-Wan half dragged, half Force-lifted the injured Jedi Master away from the fiery shuttle. One meter ... five meters ... ten ...
Though his blood sang with the vibration of the thunder, Obi-Wan managed to block the worst of it out. He was already a disgrace to the Jedi order. The masters would think nothing of a dead trainee who was no good to begin with; a great master the likes of Qui-Gon Jinn could not be allowed to die so senselessly.
Breathing hard, unaware of the sobs being torn from his chest, Obi-Wan moved the large Jedi another three meters, then threw himself over the unconscious man as the shuttlecraft rocked and blew apart. Even with his eyes squeezed shut, Obi-Wan found himself nearly blinded by the white hot flash. When things went quiet, he feared he was deaf; his ears still rang with the thunderous explosion, blocking out the sounds of the still-falling rain.
"Mas ... " Obi-Wan stopped when he realized he couldn't hear himself speaking. Imagining the worst, he made another attempt. "Ma ... " Obi-Wan knew he was opening his mouth, could feel the vibration of the sound in his throat, but there was nothing. As he gasped in disbelief, the small amount of air he'd managed to pull into his lungs rushed out.
Terrified, Obi-Wan clutched at the Jedi beneath him as he wheezed, crying out piteously, wordlessly, suddenly feeling every bit as young as his meager seven years. Dizzy, unable to breathe, Obi-Wan choked on tears and stale air, vision filled with stars and swirls before he crumpled, unconscious, to the ground.
Master Qui-Gon Jinn knew the moment the young student lost consciousness. Using the Force, Qui-Gon cushioned Obi-Wan's fall, turning to catch him in strong arms before he could hit the muddy forest floor.
Feeling the youngster still struggling for air, Qui-Gon placed one hand at the back of Obi-Wan's neck and one hand on his forehead, channeling the Force to open and relax the tight airway. After several moments, he felt Obi-Wan begin to breathe easier, some of the tenseness in his taut muscles seeping away.
"Oh, small one," Qui-Gon whispered, cradling the thin, battered body protectively against his chest. "You've fought hard this day." He cocked his head as if listening. "Rest now. Help is on the way."
His own wet, dirty clothing forgotten, Qui-Gon rocked Obi-Wan, rubbing slow circles on his back. As his fingers ghosted over the now-charred and ripped fabric of Obi-Wan's cloak, he felt a pang of guilt, knowing he was to blame.
"Surprisingly strong he is," Yoda said, appearing suddenly from the thick of the trees. "Judge by size, you should not."
Though he knew his master to be teasing, Qui-Gon could only meet Yoda's smirk with a frown. "I realize this was a test, Master, but I'm seriously questioning the wisdom of the Council right now."
"As you well know, the Council's agenda and your own do not generally mesh." Master Windu's voice was low as he stepped into the forest glade.
Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan tightly, as if challenging the two masters to take the boy from him. "What I know well," Qui-Gon growled, throwing Mace's words back at him, "is that the Council takes too many liberties with its trainees."
Mace took a menacing step toward Qui-Gon. "Your opinion of the Council has never put you in their good graces. Besides which ... "
"Enough!" Yoda's walking stick hit one of the trees with a startling whack. "Though you deny it, friends I know you are; bicker like siblings, you do." Yoda snorted. "Young siblings."
Mace had the sense to stop talking and Qui-Gon dropped his gaze, although he continued to glare at the wet ground, too upset to let the subject drop entirely.
"Now ... " Yoda continued when he was sure he had the undivided attention of both men. "Discuss we must the outcome of this training scenario."
Fire burned in Qui-Gon's eyes again as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Mmmm ... " The negating sound from Yoda and a shake of his head silenced Qui-Gon again. "Listen you will." He eyed Mace as the other man saw fit to try to speak. "Both of you."
It was with some satisfaction that Qui-Gon saw Mace back down again to Yoda. Qui-Gon held his tongue out of respect to his former master; Mace held his in deference to Yoda as a senior Council member.
On the Council, Mace was technically Yoda's equal; in reality, there were fine lines drawn between the younger Council members and their elders. Here Mace could have used his position to make his own opinions known. Instead, he chose not to, something that Qui-Gon had to grudgingly admit he admired.
"Perhaps let this go too far, we did."
Yoda's admission startled Qui-Gon, but the bone-cold youngster he held in his arms was all the proof Qui-Gon needed.
Yoda held up his hand as if sensing Qui-Gon's thoughts. "Sometimes necessary it is to find a student's limits, to stretch them ... in order to assess their true potential."
"Find his limits?" Qui-Gon exploded, no longer able to sit quietly. "Force almighty! You're lucky you didn't find his corpse! Look at him, by the gods!"
Carefully, Qui-Gon ran his hand along the burned back of Obi-Wan's cloak before turning him face-up on his lap. The boy's face was as white as chalk, save for cherry-red spots of color high on his cheeks; he was dirty and shivering and breathing much too fast for Qui-Gon's liking.
"He did well, all things considered," Mace said.
"Well! How in the hell can you say that, you cold-hearted bastard? He did what you asked of him and he did it brilliantly despite being confused and injured ... and extremely young for this sort of testing!"
"Well aware you are," Yoda said, placing an extreme emphasis on 'well', "that few limits the Council places upon itself where a gifted trainee is concerned."
"You're saying that the Council feels that this boy is special and they were willing to risk his life to prove it?" Qui-Gon's anger mounted.
Mace shook his head. "Drop the holier-than-thou attitude, Qui-Gon," he ground out. "It doesn't become you at all. I'm not sure why you've chosen this particular initiate to fixate on; Force knows you've been involved in enough training exercises to know that Masters cannot become emotionally involved in the process."
With a growl, Qui-Gon leapt to his feet, the small, frail body still held tightly against his own larger frame. "You will not speak about my padawan that way!"
Mace's eyebrows shot upwards. "Your ... ?"
Qui-Gon looked equally astonished.
Yoda stepped between the two men again, nodding and smiling elfishly. "Known it for some time, I have," he told Qui-Gon. "Mmmm, yes ... quite some time."
"Then this was *my* test, Master?" Qui-Gon asked, deeply saddened that the young one had been hurt by his lack of perception.
"A test for both of you it was." Yoda's brow creased and he sighed sadly. "Difficulties he has, seeing himself as padawan learner. Difficulty you have, seeing yourself as Master. Necessary it was for the Force to bring you together."
Suddenly, Qui-Gon became aware that he *was* aware of many things. He could feel Obi-Wan's pulse beneath his fingers, the warm, sweet breath against his skin. He was unconsciously using his mind to comfort and calm the frightened boy and Obi-Wan's mind was accepting him, though Qui-Gon could feel a small shadow of doubt there along with a growing illness.
"Where is your transport?" Qui-Gon asked without preamble. "Obi-Wan is not well and requires attention."
"Initiate Kenobi was in perfect health at the beginning of the drill yesterday," Mace said, not caring for the accusation in Qui-Gon's voice.
"Well, he is *not* in perfect health now!" Qui-Gon said vehemently. Through the Force he sought out the vehicle Mace and Yoda had come in and began to stride in its direction.
"And," he said over his shoulder as he stalked angrily through the wet foliage, "I hold the Council responsible for the reckless outcome of this foolish exercise. He's just a boy -- a very young boy -- who has suffered both mentally and physically over the last twenty-four hours.
"He spent the night cold and wet and alone, feeling he had failed the Jedi; it is only my wish to be sure he is not scarred for life because of this and will someday understand that he was not at fault here."
Whatever else may have been said to him fell on deaf ears as Qui-Gon stormed the flyer, flinging the door open with a single, harsh manipulation of the Force.
"Qui-Gon," Mace warned. "You forget your place ... "
The look Qui-Gon gave the other Jedi master as he ducked through the entry could have melted 'saber crystals.
Making his way to the ship's aft cabin, Qui-Gon began stripping Obi-Wan of his charred, wet clothing, dropping the pieces haphazardly to the floor in his haste to get rid of them. The boy cried out weakly as Qui-Gon straightened cold, stiff limbs in order to tuck the bluing body beneath the thick comforters of the room's large bed.
Qui-Gon spent the short journey across Coruscant kneeling beside Obi-Wan's bed, offering his own healing energy to mend the most superficial of the wounds. Physically, the initiate was exhausted and dehydrated, which Qui-Gon knew would require the attention of the temple healers; mentally, Obi-Wan was confused, his emotions conflicted. If they were truly to be master and padawan, he would help the youngster come to terms with what had taken place ... after his other needs had been met.
Before the ship had finished its docking procedures, Qui-Gon was out of the doors and down the ramp. With Obi-Wan held securely in his arms, he brushed past the waiting healers and hurried into the Temple before any of them could stop him. He could feel Mace and Yoda following in his wake. Neither one was happy but Qui-Gon could not bring himself to care; the youngster, in shock and in danger, was his first priority. His only priority.
Depa Billaba found Qui-Gon as he made his way down the final corridor leading to the Healers' Wing.
"Qui-Gon ... "
Without replying, Qui-Gon shook his head and continued walking.
"Qui-Gon, wait."
Unable to ignore his dearest friend, Qui-Gon slowed his pace slightly, allowing Depa to catch up. To his chagrin, he was as out of breath as she sounded.
"What's going on, Qui-Gon?" Depa asked as she fell into step with him.
Qui-Gon made a huffing sound. "Do you mean to tell me the almighty Mace Windu hasn't already informed you?" he asked as he entered the healing ward and settled Obi-Wan on the nearest bed.
"He has," Depa said, lowering her voice in deference to their location. "But I wanted to hear it from you."
With one hand still wrapped around Obi-Wan's wrist, unwilling to sever contact, Qui-Gon looked around. When he saw the healer that was headed towards them, he opened his mouth to protest. This was not the healer listed as Obi-Wan's physician, and Qui-Gon would have no other healer examine the boy.
"There is no need to make a fuss, Qui-Gon," the thin, mustached man said. "Healer Sanji is on his way; I am merely the messenger, sent to tell you so." To his credit, the healer did not roll his eyes as he walked away, though he almost certainly wanted to.
"Is there *anyone* who does not know about this?" Qui-Gon demanded angrily.
Despite the gravity of the situation, Depa chuckled softly. "I see you still have the same Jinn charm when it comes to doctors," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up.
Without comment, Qui-Gon yanked a chair from a nearby work station and pulled it up beside Obi-Wan's bed. Frustrated by the time it was taking the healer to arrive, he busied himself by covering the initiate with the thick blanket folded at the foot of the bed. Forgetting for a moment that Depa was standing behind him, Qui-Gon reached out and slid his hand through Obi-Wan's matted hair and down the mud-stained face.
"He's the one, isn't he?" Depa asked, nodding knowingly to the boy on the bed. Qui-Gon pulled his hand away, telling himself he did so only because Obi-Wan's fever was high enough to warm his hand uncomfortably. He heaved a sigh as Healer Sanji appeared.
"Qui-Gon," the ancient healer greeted him. "It's been a pleasantly long while since I last saw you." The comment was not meant to be entirely serious, but both Qui-Gon and the healer knew it was not said entirely in jest.
Though she tried desperately, Depa wasn't able to stifle the laugh that escaped before she could clap a hand over her mouth.
Qui-Gon was not as amused as the healer would have hoped. The initiate's hand was cold as ice beneath his and he could feel the youngster's limbs beginning to tremble as deeper shock set in.
"I would prefer to dispense with the verbal sparring, *Healer*," Qui-Gon said, trying not to grind his teeth, "and have your attentions focused on my pad ... on Obi-Wan."
The healer eyed Qui-Gon suspiciously. "It's been some time since you've been a Master in more than name only," he said. "And you think young Obi is the one?"
"Do you ... " Qui-Gon stopped to tighten his control as the words came out almost desperately. "Are you very familiar with Initiate Kenobi, then?" he asked when he was calmer, hating the eagerness that crept unbidden into his voice.
Pressing the back of his hand to Obi-Wan's forehead, the healer nodded. "We've had a few chance meetings, yes."
Qui-Gon frowned. "How so?"
The doctor closed his eyes and held his hands over Obi-Wan's chest and extremities, feeling, listening. "Young Obi has been in a few scrapes and our paths have crossed."
He chuckled as he wrapped a portable bacta pack around Obi-Wan's wrist. "And like a certain Jedi master I'm familiar with, this young one does not have a soft spot in his heart for healers."
"Are you saying Obi-Wan has been under your care as a result of brawling, doctor?" Qui-Gon held his breath, hoping it was not true.
Healer Sanji laughed outright at the thought. "No, certainly not! I don't believe Obi has it in him to hurt even the smallest of insects. No ... any scrapes he's gotten into have been of his own doing.
"In all the ways that count, as an initiate, Obi-Wan is as graceful as a cat; it's just certain everyday things such as game-playing with the other children and his tendency to fall over his own two feet that tend to ... well ... trip him up."
"In other words, he's clumsy?" Qui-Gon asked, looking at the boy on the bed and thinking there appeared to be nothing clumsy about the way he had completed the Council's drill.
The healer wrapped gnarled fingers around Obi-Wan's uninjured wrist, taking his pulse there. "I wouldn't say clumsy. Perhaps just ... somewhat awkward when he's out of his Force element." Carefully, he worked his way down Obi-Wan's still form.
"Obi-Wan is extremely strong in the Force, as I'm sure you've noticed, and when he's not in that realm he shows all the signs of being a seven year old boy who is still growing up and still growing into his body. He does have a tendency to get hurt and to end up in here somewhat regularly, but it's never for anything related to his training. When it comes to his training, Obi-Wan is something special."
The healer ruffled Obi-Wan's hair affectionately. "I'm pleased that someone has finally taken notice."
A crease formed between Qui-Gon's eyes. "Why would no one take notice of him?" The thought disturbed him. "He manipulates the Force with more accuracy than some padawans twice his age and his selflessness and kindness are beyond any I have seen in one so young."
The healer smiled sadly. "But it is a quiet selflessness. It is who he is, what he is. Where others would use it to show it off as a strength, Obi would never dream of doing so. His kindness comes to him naturally, and though it is a priceless quality, it is not what potential masters are searching for."
Healer Sanji straightened and looked at Qui-Gon, pulling on his long white beard. "And so you see how such a gifted boy can be overlooked."
Qui-Gon shook his head, the pain and the guilt almost too much to bear. "I still cannot understand ... "
The healer bent to examine Obi-Wan's left ankle. "Did you notice him, Qui-Gon? In all the time he's been here, did you ever notice him?"
Qui-Gon hung his head in shame. "No, to my discredit I did not. But hopefully it is a situation that is not too late to remedy."
The healer stood again, pulling the bed covers up to Obi-Wan's chest. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Qui-Gon. The Force tends to work in mysterious ways. Perhaps you and young Obi were not meant to meet until today. Perhaps neither of you was ready to take this last step until now."
"Master Yoda was just saying the very same thing," Qui-Gon said.
Healer Sanji chuckled at the disbelief in Qui-Gon's voice. "Well, you may not hold much faith in my non-medical diagnoses, but you wouldn't dispute Master Yoda, would you?"
Qui-Gon cleared his throat and looked down at Obi-Wan. "How is he?"
The healer slipped his hands into the deep pockets of his robe and rocked back onto his heals as he gave Qui-Gon the run-down. "He has a slight concussion, his right wrist is sprained, and his left ankle is broken. He has a burn and a cut to the back of his head and his lungs have some residual smoke damage. All in all, he's doing well."
"Well?" Qui-Gon's voice was loud in the small room. "He is a mass of broken bones and burns and you consider that 'well'?"
The healer held up his hand to stop Qui-Gon's tirade. "There's nothing life-threatening, there's no permanent damage, and the worst of it will be healed in a week's time with nothing more than some Force help and a few bacta packs. All things considered, that's doing well."
Still unconvinced of the healer's diagnosis, Qui-Gon insisted on helping him settle Obi-Wan into one of the ward's private rooms. When the IVs and bacta packs were in place the healer bowed out, saying he would be close by should Qui-Gon have need of him.
"Some would have difficulty distinguishing who is the healer here."
Qui-Gon started at the sound of Depa's voice behind him; he had forgotten she was still with him. Pausing in his obsessive monitoring of Obi-Wan's IV lines and other healing equipment, Qui-Gon sat heavily on the edge of the bed and turned to look at Depa.
"There are times in my own early training when I would have given almost anything to have someone stand watch over me when I was ill," he said softly.
Depa smiled sadly. "And there were times in your later training when you would have given anything for those who wished to help you to leave you alone." She didn't miss Qui-Gon's flinch. "It's interesting how things change, isn't it? That we can go from needing help to refusing help to feeling the unquenchable need to help another in so short a time span?"
Qui-Gon looked down at Obi-Wan. "It was hardly yesterday that I was a trainee," he said wryly.
"No, of course not, but emotionally it doesn't seem that far away, does it?"
Qui-Gon reflected on Depa's words, his eyes still trained on Obi-Wan, his mind mentally counting every rise and fall of the small chest. "No, I suppose it doesn't," he said thoughtfully.
His training experiences had not been unpleasant, but being a gangly, awkward child with a low self esteem, he had succeeded in making things quite difficult for himself. He did not wish Obi-Wan to suffer in the same way.
"You and Obi-Wan have much in common," Depa theorized. "And much to learn from each other. If he is indeed the one, Qui-Gon, don't pass up the chance to tell him so-and to tell the Council."
Qui-Gon scowled. "I am not certain that another argument with the Council and my insistence that they listen to me yet again are wise choices for either one of us." He reached out and stroked his fingers gently through Obi-Wan's hair.
Depa shook her head. "You think they are all of Mace Windu's opinion, regarding you, but you're wrong, Qui-Gon. Many more on the Council regard you with respect, even fondness, and are anxious for you to find the happiness you deserve."
Qui-Gon turned a sour look on Depa. "Excessive emotional sentiment, Depa? Surely a Jedi downfall."
"Merely the truth, Qui-Gon. One of the most sacred cornerstones of the Jedi order," Depa countered.
Qui-Gon tipped his head in acknowledgement. "Well-fought, Councilor."
"It *is* the truth, Qui-Gon, whether you can bring yourself to believe it or not. And if you cannot believe me, then think upon the healer's words."
She crossed the room to stand beside Qui-Gon, placing a hand on his arm. "No one has seen fit to take Obi-Wan in, though he is an extremely gifted and loving child. If you can see that and you don't have the courage to seize the opportunity, then who will? The chance is there, Qui-Gon. All you have to do it take it."
Voices in a nearby corridor stopped Qui-Gon from replying. "Mace and Yoda," he said, his heart picking up speed.
Before him on the bed, Obi-Wan gave a pained groan, as if aware of Qui-Gon's unhappiness. His eyelids flickered, long lashes brushing pale cheeks, and he twisted on the bed.
Depa squeezed Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Take care of your young one," she whispered in his ear. "I will take care of the curious masters." With a final pat on his arm, Depa turned on her heal and headed for the door, intent on keeping the two Council members as far from Qui-Gon as possible.
"Mmmmmm ... " Obi-Wan moved restlessly, making another attempt to open his eyes.
"Shhh, small one," Qui-Gon said softly, touching Obi-Wan's cheek. "You are injured. You must heal." He contemplated a Force suggestion that would send Obi-Wan back into sleep, but decided against it. Obi-Wan had woken on his own. When he was ready, he would sleep on his own.
"Mmmm ... Mas ... t ... " Obi-Wan's voice was rough from exhaustion and dehydration.
Qui-Gon picked up Obi-Wan's limp hand, holding it in his own. "I'm here, Obi-Wan."
It should have been impossible, but Qui-Gon saw a flash of Obi-Wan's memory then, of Qui-Gon as he lay still and bleeding in the ruined shuttle. Of Obi-Wan crying out for help and resigning himself to his fate when his cries went unanswered.
*I have failed, Master. I'm sorry.*
Qui-Gon heard the small voice in his head as clearly as if Obi-Wan had said the words aloud.
*No one will want me now. I am not deserving.*
Qui-Gon shook his head in disbelief, but the echo of Obi-Wan's words remained. It should not have happened. They were not bonded or linked in any way.
*I am here, Obi-Wan,* Qui-Gon whispered into Obi-Wan's mind. *I am whole and well and you have passed the training exercise brilliantly.*
In horror, Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan's body went rigid ... and then began to convulse. Calling for the healer, shouting Obi-Wan's name, Qui-Gon scooped Obi-Wan off the bed and held him tightly, wanting only for the shaking to stop.
Within moments, the healer appeared, followed closely by Depa, Mace, and Yoda. The three stood with their eyes closed as the healer quickly checked the monitors.
"What has happened?" the healer asked Qui-Gon.
"I ... " Qui-Gon could not even form words. It had happened so quickly. He'd *heard* Obi-Wan speaking in his mind and it had been instinctual to answer him in kind. But now it appeared that his carelessness had hurt Obi-Wan.
Yoda opened his eyes, shaking his head. "No, my padawan. Nothing wrong have you done. Stop a bonding not even you can."
Mace's eyes flew open. "A bonding? Is that what you were trying to do, Qui-Gon? Why you wanted us away from him?"
Depa studied Mace, as if gauging his reaction. "As Yoda says, Qui-Gon has done nothing wrong. The bond that has begun to form is a result of the connection Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon created during the training exercise. They both would have been drawn into a bonding eventually, but the stress of Obi-Wan's reactions and the emotion of Qui-Gon's response has hurried things along somewhat."
Seeing the doubt still in Mace's eyes, Depa looked at Yoda. "Am I right, Master Yoda? Is that what you sense as well?"
Yoda blinked and nodded. "Mmm, yes. Sense it I do."
His eyes moved to Obi-Wan, who was still writhing despite the healer's gentle hands. Looking stunned, Qui-Gon stood with his back against the wall, face white, hands twitching at his sides.
"See how alike you are, anyone can," Yoda said to Qui-Gon, making his way slowly across the room, leaning heavily on his gnarled stick. "Taking the blame you both insist on, when to blame neither of you are."
Qui-Gon turned anguished eyes on Yoda. "He is suffering, Master! How can you stand there and do nothing?"
"Nothing for me to do is there," Yoda said simply. "Only for you."
Qui-Gon gave a harsh laugh. "I have already done more than enough."
"Don't be stubborn, Qui-Gon," Depa said. "You and Obi-Wan need each other. I know it scares you, but you can't let your fear dictate your actions here." As a cry from Obi-Wan punctuated her words, she glared at Qui-Gon. "You've been alone long enough, Qui-Gon. You both have."
"Master?"
Qui-Gon's question was a request that was clear to everyone in the room. Silently, the others walked out, leaving only Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Yoda.
"Kneel beside him," Yoda told Qui-Gon. "Close your eyes."
Qui-Gon did as he was told, but opened pained eyes a moment later. "What if he does not wish this, Master? That is why my heart retreats where my mind would rush in. I cannot force this on him. He is young. He should be allowed to *be* young without the burden of an ancient master such as me."
Yoda snorted and cracked Qui-Gon sharply in the ankle with his stick. "When nine hundred years old you are, then ancient you may be. Now? Mere youngster you are ... and no excuses you have."
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes as his hand began a slow up and down movement on Obi-Wan's arm. "A youngster, Master? Hardly that."
"Relative, age is," Yoda said, placing his hand over Qui-Gon's as Qui-Gon's hand slid down to cover Obi-Wan's.
Qui-Gon sighed. "I'm just not certain that I'm ready for this again. It feels like it's too soon. And if things go wrong ... "
Yoda shushed him. "Always risks there are. Every day we live is filled with risk."; He looked up at Obi-Wan, who had gone utterly still beneath the bed coverings. "But no risk is this. Your decision it is not. Obi-Wan's decision it is not. Decided the Force has."
Rather than answering, Qui-Gon closed his eyes again.
*Obi-Wan, I wish for you to be my padawan. Will you accept me as your master?*
Obi-Wan's thoughts pelted against Qui-Gon's mind like cold, driving hail.
*not worthy* *a disgrace to the Jedi order* *channeled the Force with anger and fear* *unwanted* *failed*
Qui-Gon found it hard to breathe. That such emotion could attack such a small body was difficult to fathom. Such guilt. Such sadness. Such misplaced blame.
*You have done no such thing* Qui-Gon thought to Obi-Wan. *If there was failure, it was on the Council's behalf for allowing the training exercise to get entirely out of hand. You did nothing but give of yourself to provide for my safety. Your actions were worthy of a seasoned padawan learner.*
The blackness of Obi-Wan's thoughts was pushed aside and Qui-Gon saw briefly the brilliant sparkle of what lay beneath.
*No.* And the blackness was back.
Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. *Yes.*
*I'm ... scared ... *
Qui-Gon took a shaky breath. *As am I.*
Obi-Wan's surprise was palpable. *You're a master! Masters aren't scared.*
*They are, Obi-Wan. Masters are not infallible. They make mistakes and hopefully they learn from them.* He smiled and made sure Obi-Wan could sense it. *And they teach their padawans as much as their padawans teach them.*
Qui-Gon could feel his heart pounding in his chest. What do you say, Obi-Wan? Will you become my padawan so that we may learn from one another?*
The last of the dark clouds disappeared and Obi-Wan's mind was awash in a rainbow of color.
*Am I dreaming, Master?*
*I assure you you are not,* Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan.
*I would like to be with you, Master, if you will have me.*
*Then it is settled ... Padawan.*
When Obi-Wan's blue eyes opened at last, Qui-Gon saw his own future in them and he was no longer afraid.