Summary: Meditations on the nature of the Dark Side
Feedback: Please.
Author's Note: Obi just got really philosophical and
rambly today. Blame the coffee.
Musings
"You're awfully quiet this evening, Padawan."
Obi-Wan, kneeling on the floor of the common room of their
quarters, sighed and didn't look up. "My trials are soon,
Master."
"Yes." Qui-Gon waited patiently, knowing that there was more.
Obi-Wan looked up at him. "I want to be the best Knight I can
be." It was said awkwardly, uncertainly.
"This is not a bad thing."
"But Master Yoda says that it is pride. And he also says..."
Obi-Wan furrowed his brow, trying to remember Yoda's exact
words. "Pride leads to self-conceit, self-conceit leads to
arrogance, arrogance leads to the Dark Side."
"And what do you say, Obi-Wan?"
Guileless blue eyes looked up at him. "Well, I wouldn't want to
contradict Master Yoda."
Qui-Gon found himself smiling. "And if Master Yoda were to ask
you what you say?"
"That this sort of pride-- confidence-- doesn't feel bad," the
young Jedi answered, shrugging. "But I suppose that, for the
Dark Side to be an ever-looming threat, it must be tempting."
"Temptation," Qui-Gon said, raising one eyebrow speculatively,
"leads to desire. Desire leads to obsession. Obsession..."
"Leads to the Dark Side," Obi-Wan finished with him in a rueful
chorus. "Yes. Master?"
"Hmm?"
Obi-Wan traced a random pattern on his thigh with one finger.
"Master Yoda likes saying those things, doesn't he? Everything,
somehow, leads to the Dark Side. Pleasure leads to complacency,
then laziness, then Darkness. Obedience leads to submission,
which leads to mindless dependence. Innocence leads to
vulnerability, which leads to easy defeat. Everything is on a
path pointing inexorably to the Dark Side. It is almost enough
to make me want to hide in my room away from outside
temptations, yet even that-- surely it leads to stagnation and
ignorance and uselessness."
"You will never be useless, my Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan smiled slightly. "If I were to hide away, ignoring the
suffering of others to try to avoid falling to the Dark Side, I
would be. I would also be as much an agent of the Dark as if I
were out causing that suffering. Yet if everything leads to the
Dark Side, am I not doomed to fail?"
Qui-Gon touched his cheek lightly. "You are almost a Knight.
Surely you can come up with a solution to this problem of
yours."
"Another lesson, Master?" Obi-Wan said, pouting and laughing at
the same time. "Couldn't you just give me the answer?"
"Obi-Wan."
"Sorry." His eyes sparkled with a barely repressed amusement. "
'It is the place of the student to learn, not to be taught,'
yes?"
"Yes, oh my student. So what have you learned?"
"Not much, I'm afraid. I have been meditating all day, and
yet..." He shrugged. "I suppose: The Dark Side is there,
always; and is always a temptation." Obi-Wan's gaze flicked up
to meet his Master's, as if looking for approval before
continuing.
"And?" Qui-Gon prompted, almost expressionless.
"And if it is always there, we must always be on active guard
against it, or...or we will find ourselves straying too far
down a path we did not intend to take."
"And?"
"And if any emotion can lead to the Dark Side, we must be
careful to choose those that are pure and untainted."
"That," Qui-Gon said, straight-faced, "or sever all emotions."
"Which would lead to stagnation and a lack of compassion, which
is surely just as bad."
Qui-Gon smiled. "There are those who would disagree with you."
"I'm sure." Teeth flashed white in a silent laugh. "There are
also those who believe the Jedi should be servants of the
Republic as mind-manipulating weapons."
"There are those, indeed."
Obi-Wan stood with the careful movements of one who had been
kneeling all day. "I believe it is time for us to eat."
Qui-Gon nodded solemnly. "Hunger, after all, leads to
irritability, which leads to suffering..."
"Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan said, all innocence, as a pillow
flew up from the couch and hit Qui-Gon in the side of the head.
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