Summary: Watching a sleeping Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan takes a few
moments to think about his master
Notes: In some ways this is a companion-piece to my vignette
"Contemplation" and it's for those who asked for it :-)
Thanks: As always to Katja for being pushy and encouraging and
to Destina and Angela for marvelous beta and a lot of helpful
comments.
Feedback: You have to ask? Praise or critiscism always welcome
at draigon@gmx.net or gwendolen07@yahoo.com
It's that hour before dawn and I don't know what woke me up.
Usually I'm not an early riser, as you well know. Maybe it was
something outside as you've again forgotten to draw the blinds
and the lights from passing ships illuminate our bedroom. It's
bright enough that I can easily see you, laying on your back,
your face turned towards me.
I like watching you sleep, although I rarely get the chance to
do so. I usually fall asleep before you and wake up long after
you've been up. One of the disadvantages of youth, this need
for sleep. I know you would smirk at me if you could hear me
now, that smirk only those who know you very well can
recognize. The one that lurks mostly in your eyes and twitches
around the corners of your mouth. I guess you like watching me
sleep, Master. Although I'm not sure what kind of pleasure you
get out of it.
Maybe the same kind I do when I watch you. Is it this sweet
ache deep inside my chest? Or perhaps this sudden urge to touch
you, but only with the softest and most gentle of touches so as
not to wake you? I don't do it, because I don't want to run the
risk to wake you up, but the urge is still there. Instead, my
gaze caresses you, strokes along the planes of your face,
follows the lines of your mouth. As I do so I remember kissing
you, tasting you.
I love the way you taste, sweet and spicy, always with a hint
of asseri-tea. The smell and scent of that tea is forever a
reminder of home.
I let my gaze drift down the strong line of your throat to your
chest. I like curling up next to you, my head on your chest,
listening to your heartbeat, feeling your life. With your arms
around me I always feel warm, protected and cherished.
Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm here, in your bed with
you beside me. All I have to do is reach out and be welcomed in
your arms. I fear the day when I'll wake up and discover that
being with you, being loved by you was only a dream. And that
in reality I'm still only a padawan, hopelessly in love with
his master.
I love you, Master...Qui-Gon. I don't know how to tell you
this. Guess I'm always afraid that I will sound like a
hopelessly romantic youth with a crush on his master. Maybe I
am, but I also know what I feel and that's more than just a
fleeting attraction that will pass with time. It's deeper, more
demanding and more giving than a crush ever could be.
It's all-encompassing. Like the Force. You and the Force, my
Master, my love, are the two constants in my life.
* * * *
Send all comments whether praise, constructive critiscism,
questions or encouragement to draigon@gmx.net or
gwendolen07@yahoo.com
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