Master Apprentice Archive A Moving Spirit Quick search:

Archive: MA, or please ask me

Category: Q/O, Angst, First-Time

Rating: PG

Warnings: Follows canon - That Scene happens (sorry)

Summary: Obi-Wan has a special friend.

Disclaimer: Mostly George's characters, not mine.

Feedback: Yes please

Note: Love and thanks to my Master Cuimne, who as always was with me all the way and beat this bunny into submission for me. And also to Linda, the Jocasta Nu of South Wales! Thanks for the vital research that got me out of my writer's block.

The infant screamed his protests as the quiet woman paced slowly with him, patting him on the back and offering soothing, nonsensical words.

"Leave him to scream, Syl," her companion offered. "He will settle down soon enough. They always do."

"I don't know. He is very upset." She stroked his dark copper hair and studied the little one's face.

"He must have had a close bond with his mother. It won't take long at this age for him to forget. Just leave him."

With some hesitation, she laid him down in the cot and watched as he bunched his fists up and screwed up his face to howl even louder.

"He will make himself sick if he carries on like this," she said worriedly.

"We can hear him from out here. Just give him a few minutes."

The door closed behind them, leaving the room in darkness. An area of less-than-darkness became a dim glow. The baby in the cot, almost exhausted now by his long tirade, stopped the noise to gasp for air and opened his eyes. Still unable to make out much more than light a dark at more than close range, he could nevertheless detect something in the room with him. His breath came in little hiccups, and his arms waved in an attempt to grasp anything nearby.

A quiet voice, "Shhh, little one. All will be well. Sleep now."

The words meant nothing to him, but soothed the child's terrors so that his eyes closed again and he gave in to sleep. A not-there hand stroked his damp forehead.

Outside the room, Syl's companion smiled his "I told you so".

Obi-Wan knew that Pretty Lady came to him often when he was upset or scared. At four years old, he could remember a few of the recent times when she had been there with him. Searching through the woods on this world he had never visited before, he fervently hoped that she would be here soon and show him the way back.

That horrid Bruck had taken Wookie from him and thrown him as far as he could into the trees when the crèche masters weren't looking. Obi-Wan had thought the trees were pretty when they first arrived for their short stay at the camp, but now he had decided they looked like they had big spiky fingers on grasping hands. He was trying hard not to cry, because he knew how the others would laugh when he found them again.

But where was Wookie? It was starting to get dark, and Obi-Wan had heard stories of creatures that lived in forests and came out at night. He shivered, but kept on walking through the tree roots and rough grass.

Then he noticed the area of not-so-dark in front of him in the trees.

"Pretty Lady," he called out excitedly. "I knew you would find me." He ran towards the patch of light, and there was Wookie lying on soft moss. He hugged his toy to his chest, and looked around. "I think I am lost now, Pretty Lady." The light moved slightly to one side and carried on, guiding the youngling back to his friends.

"But how do you know what she looks like if you can't see her face?" Garen asked.

Obi-Wan was beginning to wish he hadn't shared his secret with the others. He had been so glad to get back that he had blurted out about the help he had finding his way through the woods. Now, having finished their latemeal, the younglings were supposed to be getting ready for bed.

"I can see her." He had really believed that everybody had a Pretty Lady to help them when they were in trouble. "Well, I can't see her 'all', but I know she is pretty. And I know when she is smiling at me."

"Does she talk to you, Obi?" asked Bant. She obviously didn't understand what he was talking about, but was trying her best.

"Not talk. Not really. But I can hear her. I know what she says to me."

At the loud shrieks of laughter from some of the others, Obi-Wan decided there and then that he would not mention his Pretty Lady again, to anyone.

The teasing about his "imaginary friend" went on for quite some time, but eventually the others forgot about it when they realised he was not going to react the way they wanted. Kenobi was no fun at all.

It had been some years since he had seen her. He had almost convinced himself that she had been part of his childish imagination. After all, he was 12 now. Grown up. Far too old to be lying on his bed, curled up, sobbing to himself.

He knew she was in the room with him, and that she was sitting on the edge of the bed. He also knew that she was smiling at him, and somehow that was a comfort.

"What is it, Obi-Wan?"

"He doesn't want me," he mumbled into his pillow.

She was quiet a moment, waiting to see if he would continue, but at his continued pained silence she asked, "Who doesn't want you? You know you can tell me anything."

He looked over to where the light was lighter than the rest of the room. There was no natural light, just a warm glow from the lamp on his desk across the room. He hadn't switched it off when he had collapsed on to his bed.

"Master Qui-Gon." His voice cracked, and his breath in became another sob. "He is my last chance and he doesn't want me. He didn't choose me. And tomorrow I am to go to the AgriCorps." More sobs, and he lay down again, hands over his face.

She stayed with him, resting a hand on his shoulder, until he calmed down somewhat. Before he fell asleep, he heard her say, "It will be alright, young one. Believe me."

He hadn't forgotten about her, exactly. She had been with him briefly after Melida/Daan, and when he had been convinced they wouldn't take him back. He was almost certain she had been there when he sweated in fever dreams on Myrkr, visions of his Pretty Lady in his mind along with his Master, who had stayed the whole time by his sickbed.

But now he was 17 and sure that adults didn't have invisible friends. So he sat in the quietest of the Temple gardens in meditation, the pain in his heart like a solid thing inside him.

His meditations had led him back to thoughts of her, so he wasn't surprised when the light filtering through the leaves grew slightly brighter in a patch in front of him.

"What is causing you so much pain, Obi-Wan?" Her voice was exactly as he remembered, soft, in his head, not really there.

Things he hadn't spoken aloud to anyone, hardly even dared to think about himself, came spilling out.

"My Master loved Tahl so much. And now she is gone, and he is hurting. I am afraid. I don't know what he will do, and I can't help him; he doesn't even seem to notice me." He paused; the last part was the most secret. "And I love him."

His control was almost gone at this admission. He was sternly telling himself not to break down, to remain calm, but one single tear escaped and slid down his cheek.

"He loves you too. He is going through a lot now, and he needs you to be strong for him."

Obi-Wan wanted to believe. "Loves me? No, he loves Tahl."

"He needs you. You two have something special. I feel it. Give him time."

As always, her presence was soothing and he closed his eyes again, attempting to find the calm that had eluded him. And again, as always, she stayed with him until he drew the strength from within himself to carry on without her presence.

It was almost exactly two years later when he knew for sure that she was with him again.

He lay on his side in the big bed, the large frame of his lover spooned behind him, one arm draped over him and holding him in a close embrace. He heard him snoring gently and revelled in the sound.

The night was cool and quiet, the world they were on largely under-developed so that night time was not lit by the glare of excessive artificial light and the only sounds came from the small nocturnal creatures outside their open window.

For a brief moment as he opened his eyes, he believed that dawn was breaking, but soon recognised the less-dark in front of the window before the bed. He felt her warm smile, and her hand brushing through his hair; knew that she was sharing his joy.

When she appeared before him in the power generator room in Theed, she didn't make any move to talk to him or communicate with him at all.

He knew she was there without opening his eyes as he held the cooling body of his Master, weeping softly. She simply stayed by him through that immeasurable time, until he found the strength to face his new life.

The night after the funeral, she stayed by him as he knelt on the floor of the room provided in the royal palace.

"I cannot do this. The boy needs Qui-Gon. I am not experienced enough."

"You promised him."

"I would have said anything, done anything he asked."

He felt detached from his body. Almost emotionless, unable to feel. He was glad of that.

"But you did promise him," she repeated, "and you can do this. He needs you now. You are all he has."

The night was very long.

The times when he felt it was all too much for him alone, she was there. Through the wars, the worst of the horrors, the bleak day when his former Padawan turned. Again, she didn't talk to him at that time, just stayed with him. The loss of his comrades, his friends, the destruction of the Temple, whenever the thought crept into his mind that this was enough, he could do no more, he could not go on, she came and lent him comfort, helped him find his strength.

And through the lonely years in the desert, waiting for the boy, Anakin's son, to grow. Hoping that the girl, the daughter, was being kept safe by his old friend Bail, out of sight and knowledge of the monster that the former Jedi had become. At his lowest moments, she was there. He never asked her why or how she knew that he needed someone. It had been many years since he had wondered about her existence in his life; he accepted her presence gratefully.

After the last of his self-imposed tasks, ensuring the boy had guided his father back to the light, was completed, at last he could come home. His lover was waiting for him, his presence around him like the strong arms that used to hold him. At last they could be together. So much pain, so much waiting, over as if it had never been.

And there she was, with her own lover, Anakin. The two of them were where they belonged, where they should have been all this time. Obi-Wan knew her immediately, and knew she was aware of his astonishment at the recognition. "Amidala!" he exclaimed, and felt the laughter from his lover at his surprise. "It was always you - all those years. I don't understand - how?" He couldn't express his incomprehension.

Anakin smiled as he assumed the role of lecturer to his former Master. "The time slip phenomenon, Master. Remember?"

Memories - classes as a young Padawan: Advanced Temporal Theory, Philosophy of Time Travel, anecdotal evidence of witnesses to other times outside their own.

"But surely these are merely visions - I have experienced such future seeings myself. And we are here, in the Force." He looked now at Amidala, her happiness evident. "How could you be with me all those times, yet still be alive yourself then?"

"Anakin helped me. He is the Chosen One, after all! From here, he can manipulate those distortions - slips - see,"

"There is power to the Force that could not be imagined in the physical world, Master," Anakin said as he led Obi-Wan away, and it was so easy.

A youngling, Jedi initiate, sitting on the edge of a pool in the long-gone Garden of a Thousand Fountains, his bare feet dangling in the cool water. The little boy was intent in his concentration, staring down into the water. Then he called out in his high voice, "Bant! Hurry up, you've been under for ages and we have to get back to Master Elfra's class. Bant!" The last call was shouted loudly.

The child didn't see his other self - if he had looked up at that point he might have seen a figure appearing to float over the water.

Then Obi-Wan was back.

But he still had to ask, "Why?"

Amidala answered, "Because of what you did for me, for my children, for us. You ensured that they were safe, that my son could bring my husband back to me. But I couldn't change anything. Just be with you."

His former Padawan and his wife faded from his perception. He felt the joy from his lover - they could be together forever.

"I never thanked her," he briefly thought as they finally gave themselves to each other.