Morning Blues

by KatBear

Title: Morning Blues
Author: KatBear (katbear@cox.net)
Archive: MA
Category: AR
Rating: NC17 for explicit sexual activity
Pairing: Q/O (Quilan Finn/Ben Kennan)
Feedback: Appreciated.
Thanks: To the beta readers who made this a better story (Merry Amelie, Tem-ve). All mistakes are my own.
Summary: Quilan has to leave early for work.
Warnings: If male-male sex bothers you, you shouldn’t be here.
Spoilers: None, alternate reality set in 21st century Earth in fictional part of the western U.S.
Notes: 1. The primary setting is not based on any actual specific real location or persons but is a composite of possible geography, town features, transplanted state university, etc. 2. The federal agencies mentioned are real but liberties have been taken with some policies, practices and job duties. 3. This is the fourth story in the Master's Voice series.

Master's Voice
MV2 – Honeymoon
MV3 – First Session
MV4 – Morning Blues

Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I'm just playing with them.

Ben yawned, then grimaced as his stretch was cut short by the twinges in his stomach muscles.

"Damn, Qui wasn't kidding when he said that was going to hurt for a while." Ben leaned his head back as he remembered the gut-busting exercises his highly ill-chosen words had earned him during their last Tai Chi session on Friday evening. A ghost of a grin touched his lips. "At least he was also right about it helping me stay focused at work. Couldn't hardly straighten up from bending over a bike yesterday without feeling it."

His stomach wasn't the only part of him feeling something. Ben sighed as he looked at the empty spot beside him on the bed. Both men had worked the day before, but Qui had come home very late. They had barely had enough time and energy for a quick kiss and cuddle before dropping off to sleep, and Ben retained just a vague memory of a faint touch and another swift buss in the early Sunday morning darkness before his mate headed back out.

Slowly Ben reached over and retrieved Qui's pillow, hugging it to him as he breathed in the faint scent. For several minutes he simply lay quietly on his side, eyes closed, the pillow clutched in his arms. Eventually one hand snaked down to grasp the erection jutting from his groin.

"Qui," came the whispered moan, "God, I love you so much…"

Hot, aching pressure drove Ben to quicken his pace. His hand fisted swiftly up and down his engorged phallus.

"Need you so much."

Face buried in his lover's pillow, fingers burning a scorching path, Ben pumped hard. His body arched as his orgasm was marked by a deep grunt.

"Oooahh," Ben groaned. He lay limply, Qui's pillow still in one arm, as time passed unheeded.

A knock on his closed bedroom door eventually roused him.

"Ben?" called Jane. Another knock. "Your other door was open, so I thought I'd better check to see if you want breakfast before Rafa and I leave for church."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Ben answered. "Thanks, I'll be up shortly."

Ben lay quietly for a few more minutes, then dragged himself out of bed, threw on some clothes and wandered up to the kitchen. He yawned as he stopped at the refrigerator to get a carton of milk.

"Ah, there you are," said Jane briskly as she came from the hallway with her jacket. She pulled a covered plate from the oven and took it to the table. "Scrambled eggs, bacon and home fries, and the rest of the coffee's in the pot on the stove. Sunday paper's on the side counter."

"Thanks, ma'am." Ben finished setting his place, nodding to Rafa as she stuck her head in to let Jane know the car was ready. "I'll clean up when I finish."

"That'll be fine," Jane answered as she shrugged into her jacket. "Got a few stops to make after the service, so we probably won't be back until lunch."

"Okay, I'll see you then." Ben waved as the two women left and settled in to eat as he scanned the newspaper, adding an orange from the bowl of fruit on the table for dessert.

After a leisurely meal and wash-up, Ben went back downstairs. He felt restless and unsettled on his first day waking up alone without his new lover. He drifted aimlessly around their shared quarters for a long while, touching objects and moving on. He ended up staring at the case holding Quilan's Tai Chi sword – the sight reminded him sharply of how focused his lover could be and he grimaced as he imagined the sort of words the man would probably have for his current behavior.

"This is just fricking ridiculous," Ben growled. He backed up and stood in the middle of the living room, hands on his hips. "What the hell was it Qui called me… an eejit, yeah." He snorted in self-disgust. "I need to get my head out of my ass and stop mooning around."

Ben swiftly changed to sweats and his old sneakers. He pulled on a second sweatshirt, charged up the stairs and headed out for a run.

An hour later, Ben returned home feeling pleasantly tired. He dropped his sweat-soaked clothes in the bedroom hamper and set his wet shoes in the bathroom to dry. He gathered other loose clothes, added them to the hamper, then decided he might as well change the bedding to make a complete load of laundry.

"Come off, dammit," muttered Ben as the far corner of the bottom sheet momentarily resisted his tugging. The sudden release propelled a flutter of flannel over Ben's head where he knelt naked on the edge of the bed. The whiff of odor, musky remnants of the week's previous activities, sent a pulse of electricity through Ben's body.

"Oh, Jesus," breathed Ben in a hoarse whisper. Impulsively he gathered the soft sheets to his face and took a deep breath, then a second, his cock already beginning to harden in the rush of sensual reminders. Ben dropped to the mattress and lay tangled in the fabric.

Casting aside any restraints, Ben let his longings loose. He grabbed a corner and held it to his face while rubbing the twisted sheets against his belly and groin. Ben's passion mounted quickly, his blood racing, thundering loud in his ears.

"Yeah," he moaned, "so good." Ben rutted into his fabric-covered hand, his hips pumping. He swiftly peaked and added his semen to the existing traces. He closed his eyes and lay on his back, letting his breath slowly return to normal. A few minutes later he roused himself and sat up.

"Damn," Ben said softly. He jumped up and walked quickly to the open door. "Did I leave both of them open?" Tentatively he stuck his head out, then let loose a sigh of relief and shook his head. "I've got to remember to be more careful even if I think nobody's home."

By the time Ben had showered, done laundry, cleaned the bathroom and made the bed with fresh sheets, it was almost lunch time. The sound of footsteps and conversation drew him upstairs to help with the meal preparations.

"If I remember right, I think we have a date, Miss Romero." Ben grinned as he hung up the dish towel to dry after lunch.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" asked Rafa. She dug a thick book and a notepad from her school backpack.

"Not at all, it's great for keeping my hand in when I help you with calculus." Ben stopped to pour a glass of iced tea, then joined Rafa at the kitchen table. "Now let's see if we can't get you up to speed on this mathematical stuff."

The two young people toiled hard for almost three hours. After Ben helped Rafa sort out her most troublesome topics, he suggested they review everything that had been assigned for the upcoming exam. He patiently went through each chapter and several practice exercises before they finally called a halt. Ben felt amply rewarded for his exertions by the bright smile and shy hug that Rafa gave him.

Ben enjoyed the glow for a moment, but found he was still feeling a bit restless now that he no longer had a task to occupy him. He remembered the wet and dirty roads from his morning run, so he decided to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning Myrna in the garage. He found a couple of buckets, soap, and rags and set to work.

A little after six o'clock Jane served supper; Qui had not come home yet, so Jane fixed a plate of roast chicken, mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables while Ben and Rafa did the dishes. She put the plate away in the big refrigerator with the remaining half of an apple pie. Ben excused himself after his chores were completed and went downstairs.

Ben sat down on the edge of his bed and leaned back. He wanted Qui to come home now; he wanted so much to hold him and kiss him and feel him lying by his side. Ben sighed as he thought about what Qui would most likely have to say about such longings. His glance fell on the items scattered atop his desk.

"Shit." Ben chewed on his lower lip as he contemplated the journal which lay gathering dust. "Qui's probably going to be poking me about that damned thing pretty soon." He reluctantly rose to his feet and went to the desk. He stood for a long minute, swallowed, and sat down.

"Alright, let's see, where was I?" Ben muttered as he opened the book and took pen in hand. He skimmed through his previous entries, stopping occasionally to add to a doodle of a certain Irishman until he reached a blank page. "I guess I want to take another look back when I was ten or eleven and what I felt about my father." Another heavy sigh, then Ben began writing.

For an hour the only sounds interrupting the silence were the scratching of pen on paper and the sporadic scrape of chair legs as Ben shifted his weight.

From upstairs a faint chime sounded eight times. A hand descending on his shoulder made Ben start and his pen skip off the book.

"Jesus Christ!" Ben jumped up from his chair, banging a knee against the edge of the desk. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry," said Qui contritely, "I shouldn't have given in to the temptation, but you do things to my insides that make it damned hard to resist." He held out his arms. "Forgive me?"

Ben pursed his lips for a moment, trying to look angry, then snorted as a smile sneaked onto his face. "You can make it up to me later." He rushed into the embrace of his lover.

After a long kiss, the two men held each other tightly for several moments. Ben thoughts were diverted when Qui squeezed him and a heavy buckle began digging into his middle; his attention shifted to some of his earlier distractions that day.

"Qui," Ben said, his voice muffled against the gray-green uniform shirt, "do you think I'm naļve?"

"Naļve?" Qui asked absently as he rested his chin atop his mate's head. "I suppose that depends on what you mean by naļve."

"You do think I am!" Ben stepped back indignantly.

"What I'm thinking is that you are bloody quick jumping to conclusions," replied Qui dryly. "What brought all this on, if I may ask?"

"Just some things I've had going through my head today…" Ben looked away.

"I'll be happy to discuss this with you, but right now I'm starving." Qui took off his equipment belt. "Let me put this away and we can go upstairs."

Ben waited uncertainly while Qui unholstered his pistol and placed it in the gun safe, no longer sure he really wanted to talk about his impulsive question. When Qui paused at the foot of the stairs and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, Ben hesitated before shrugging his shoulders and trailing after his ranger.

"Here you go, boys," said Jane. "All nice and hot, Qui. And I warmed up a piece of pie for you, Ben."

"You're a lifesaver, Jane, and looking pretty as a picture to boot." Qui planted a kiss on their landlady's cheek. "You could probably hear my stomach growling a mile away."

"Go on with you," Jane said as she fussed over the place settings. "I'm heading up to do some sewing and Rafa's studying in her room, so mind you clean up when you're finished."

"Yes, ma'am, that we will," Qui assured her with a big smile. "Thanks for taking such good care of us."

Ben added his thanks as Jane left. He sat down and slowly ate, giving Qui time to finish his meal before trying to start a conversation. He sipped the last of his milk as Qui polished off his dessert.

"By all the saints, that was damned good." Qui swallowed the last bite of pie, then sighed contentedly. "The more meals I have here the more convinced I am that 'twas surely the right decision to move in." He winked slyly. "I'll have to be careful not to be putting on so much weight you start catching me on our runs."

A half-hearted smile was Ben's response to the jest. He gathered their used dishes and carried them to the sink; Qui rose and snagged a towel from the handle of the oven door to begin drying.

" 'Tis awful quiet you are," said Qui quietly as he put away plates. "I thought you had a question you were wanting me to answer."

"It was just a stupid passing thought," Ben replied. "Forget about it." He turned to leave, tossing his parting words over his shoulder. "I'll see you downstairs."

Ben removed his shoes and socks and threw them in the bedroom. He then took refuge in the bathroom, but found Qui sitting at his desk when he came out into their living area.

Qui swiveled his chair around and leaned back, hands behind his head. "Been thinking about your question. About being naļve, I mean."

"Look, it didn't mean anything," said Ben impatiently. "Let's just go to bed."

"Naļve can mean different things." Qui pointed to a dictionary lying open. "When I'm looking at you, I see both sides of the word."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ben scowled.

"On the one hand, it means credulous or showing a lack of experience." Qui stood up and moved to stand in front of his lover. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I'd bet my last paycheck you woke up alone this morning and were feeling either melancholy or sorry for yourself."

Ben stared, lips pursed. He dropped his gaze as he muttered, "Some of both, I guess. I think I had this romantic notion that finding my true love would make my life perfect, but it hasn't turned out that way. I know you told me about how it won't be so bad eventually, but I felt so lonely this morning, and I wanted you so much…" Ben sighed. "The sentiments kept returning during the day, and it felt like I was being pretty foolish and mushy." He turned away, moved over to lean against the top of the couch, staring down. "And tonight… well, I was remembering some things…" Ben's voice trailed away as he scuffed at the floor with a toe.

"Been writing in your journal, have you?" Qui rose and walked over to stand in front of Ben.

"Yeah. I went back to when I was ten and eleven." Ben looked up. "I still can't get over how much I loved my father and wanted his respect and favor." He gave a half-snort. "When you came in, I was just finishing writing about a family day at the country club a month before my eleventh birthday. There was a big picnic, and lots of games. I remember in particular the tennis tournaments; I was in the junior level and doing pretty well." He stopped, gnawing at the corner of his bottom lip.

"Something happen that bothers you?" asked Qui softly.

"Not at the time, but looking back…" Ben shifted his weight, then straightened his shoulders. "I had just started a match against this older boy when my father and some of his friends came over to watch. I looked up and waved as I was going back to the line to serve, and my father waved back and called out. 'Go get him, Benjamin', he said, 'beat him for the honor of the Kennans'." Ben smiled. "I was thrilled because my father hardly ever seemed interested in the things I did, and here he was cheering me on. The other boy actually was a lot better than me, but I busted my ass, out-hustling him for points and running him all over the court. Although it was awfully close, I did pull it out. I remember how proud I was when my father smiled and told me I did a good job. God, I think I must have been high for a week."

The smile slowly turned to a frown as Ben slumped and stared down again. "The more I thought about it, though, I started remembering how he turned to the man next to him and smiled as the guy handed him a twenty-dollar bill." Ben's voice turned distant. "My father had different kinds of smiles. This one was his nasty, 'I'm better than you' smile. I caught part of their conversation, something about 'I told you even my youngest son could beat your brat.' I didn't pay any attention at the time, not even sure I really remembered it until tonight." Ben swallowed. "It just seemed to me that I must have been awfully naļve not to realize how he really felt about me for so many years, that he must have known how to push my buttons when he wanted something, but only really cared about what I could do for him, not about me."

"Ben, you were a child. You wanted the love that all children want, that all children should have." Qui pulled Ben to his feet. "You were a good Catholic boy, and you believed what the priest told you about honoring your father and mother. You tried your best to be a good son, but how your father felt or didn’t feel about you was never your fault."

"But if I could have just tried harder, just –"

Qui put two fingers over Ben's lips. "Ben Kennan, you were and are a good person." He leaned a little closer as he lifted his hand. "You remember that I said you remind of both meanings of the word 'naļve'?"

Ben nodded, his eyes still troubled.

"It's one thing to be lacking experience. None of us can ever know everything; we all keep making mistakes but we learn from them, and that's what you're going through." Qui smiled. "But naļve also means unaffected simplicity and sincerity of nature. I know you've got some serious issues, but you're also honest, hard-working and incredibly passionate. You want to believe in people, and I can't see it in your nature to want to hurt others."

Qui trailed his thumb slowly along Ben's cheek. "This morning when I woke up, I saw your face in the moonlight coming in from the window. You looked so beautiful, so peaceful and innocent, that I couldn't tear myself away."

Ben looked into his lover's eyes, his breath catching at the intensity of the dark blue orbs.

"I touched you, just like this," whispered Qui.

The fingertips ghosting along his face, trailing across his lips, sent lightning through Ben's body. He swallowed hard as Qui's breath mingled with his.

"I watched you for the longest time, amazed at the incredible luck that caused you to enter my life, to make my heart and soul complete." Qui smiled ruefully. "Unfortunately, I also have a highly inconvenient little thing called a sense of duty, so I stole a kiss and very reluctantly dragged my sorry arse off to work to fend off the questions about why I was late." He held his arms out in invitation. "Believe me, Ben, you're not the only one feeling the pain of new love."

Ben burrowed into Qui's embrace. He let the heat of Qui's devotion melt away his distress and doubts, content to feel his mate's heart beating next to his as time was forgotten.

"You make me feel so good," murmured Qui as kissed his way down Ben's face, lingering to nibble an earlobe, letting his hands slide under Ben's t-shirt.

"Mmmmhhhhmmm." Ben returned the caresses as he leaned his head back to give Qui free access to his throat. He felt his blood beginning to race when Qui slipped off their shirts to let flesh slide against flesh. Blindly he reached for Qui's head and pulled it near for a long, lingering kiss. His cock stirred as they pressed close to each other.

Qui picked up his loose-limbed lover and carried him to their room, carefully putting him in the middle of the bed before leaning down to claim another kiss. For several minutes he used his tongue and hands to explore exposed skin, tickling and sucking the twin nubs on Ben's chest into yearning hardness. He suckled each finger, massaged arms and shoulders, and rubbed the taut belly before working his way back up Ben's throat to dip his tongue in an ear.

"Want to make love to you," murmured Qui as he ran his fingers through Ben's hair.

"Yes," moaned Ben. He arched upward as Qui nipped the base of his throat; he thrust one hand into his jeans to touch his cock as it strained at its confinement. "Want you inside me."

Qui quickly undid the fastenings of Ben's pants and pulled them off, then stood and shucked off his own clothes. Ben took advantage of the pause to pull the bed covers down and out of the way.

Ben lay on his back and watched avidly as Qui pulled a bottle of lube from the drawer in the nightstand and tossed it onto a pillow, then climbed back on the bed and began crawling toward him. He heard his own breath loud in his ears as a hand slowly moved up his calf, past his knee, along his thigh, and stopped on his hip. Ben eagerly yielded to the gentle pressure urging him to turn up on his side away from his lover.

"Jaysus, you are so hot," breathed Qui into Ben's ear as he stretched out alongside him.

"Fuck," gasped Ben at the sudden touch of a slick finger entering his opening. He pressed back, welcoming the intrusion, knowing it was the precursor to an even more welcome invader.

Spurred by the encouragement, Qui added more oil and a second finger. He pushed in further and carefully began stretching the tight ring.

Ben's cock jumped when a callused fingertip raked his prostate. "More, do it again," he begged. He wiggled his hips wantonly as the digit returned several times, alternately teasing and pressing. He moaned his pleasure at the manipulations.

"Nooo." A small whimper of disappointment escaped Ben's lips when the finger withdrew. The distress was quickly allayed as he was pulled close.

"Gonna take you now," Qui growled in Ben's ear.

The deep rumble sent electricity stabbing down Ben's spine straight to his cock. He grasped his erection as Qui suited actions to words and pushed in, pausing only briefly as the head of his organ breached Ben's body, then steadily working his way in until his balls were snugged up behind Ben's.

"Oh, God, so fucking good," Ben moaned. Hot flesh pressed against his back, hard flesh filled him and passion consumed him. He shut his eyes as Qui slithered an arm under his side and held him close.

Blood thundered in Ben's ears as he felt Qui begin a delicious rhythm, pulling out and thrusting in. Ben rocked his hips enthusiastically in counterpoint.

The pressure quickly mounted. Ben felt a slick hand displace his own as Qui took possession of Ben's organ. He groaned and gave himself over completely to the lips kissing his neck and ear, the cock piercing his body and the paw fisting his turgid phallus.

Quicker now, fire leaping as Qui drove harder. Ben clutched the arm pinning his chest, writhing against the sweat-slicked flesh along his back and ass. He felt his balls tightening. A red mist clouded the back of his eyelids as Ben fought to suck in breath.

Final frantic rush to pleasure. Hips jerked with a short, sharp pistoning.

Bodies arched in consummation, groans of pleasure, one ultimate peak of shared being.

Bliss.

Ben drifted in a pleasant haze. A wordless protest escaped his lips at the sudden cool emptiness behind him, but his pleasure quickly returned as he was tenderly cleaned with a soft cloth and warmed by a body spooning against his back.

A last kiss, final murmured endearments, and the lovers slipped into contented sleep.

Finis