Master Apprentice  Archive The Master’s Musings –
2005-07-05 - In Love and Being Loved |
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Archive: MA, any others just ask, I probably won't say no
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com/~mali
Category: PWP
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Q/O
Summary: A series of short snippets, all from Qui-Gon’s POV, focusing on his love
for Obi-Wan, and their relationship.
Note: My thanks to my wonderful Master for her love, guidance, patience and most excellent
beta. Hovever, all mistakes are still mine and mine alone.
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren’t mine, they belong to George. I’m just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I’m done. Don’t sue – I’ve got no money. I’ve spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent.
From the outside, it seems as if I am the same man I have always been. I sometimes catch myself staring at the man in the mirror, wondering how I can appear to be so unchanged, when in truth, nothing is the same as it was.
How is it that no one else can see the person I’ve become now that I am Obi-Wan's lover? Being loved by such a man as my Obi-Wan has had a profound effect on me. Everything I know, everything I am, everything I do has changed.
Even the very air I breath is different, now. Better, somehow. Because of Obi-Wan.
I love him. I love loving him. I love being loved by him.
My life belongs to the Order, and I will serve the Jedi till my dying breath. My heart belongs to Obi-Wan, and I know that even when my heart no longer pumps blood through my body, he and I will still be together.
When he is gone from me, when one of us is sent alone, on a mission, I long for his nearness with every bone in my body. I ache for him in ways I could never have imagined before. But I do what is required of me, just as Obi-Wan does, for that is who we are.
Besides, with every separation comes a reunion, and nothing can compare to having him in my arms after even the shortest of time apart. To taste his lips, to smell his hair, to feel his warmth makes everything worthwhile.
How fortunate we are to have the chance to renew our love and passion for one another, to relearn the way it feels to love and be loved physically as well as emotionally, time and time again.
Does one ever tire of coming home?
That is what it is like each time I wrap my arms around my Obi-Wan. Coming home. Everything of importance narrows down to our love. To being loved and loving in return. We are still Jedi – and will respond each and every time we are called upon to serve.
Because we are Jedi, and we know our lives are not our own, we do not take a moment together for granted.
Last night, for example. For the first time in several very long weeks, both of us were on planet at the same time. We didn’t know how long we would have together, and in fact, Obi-Wan was called away on a mission first thing this morning.
We had last night. We made the most of it.
After a hurried debriefing from the Council, I quickly made my way back to our quarters. I knew Obi-Wan would be there, waiting for me. He’d told me in the brief message I’d received from him earlier. But even if there had been no message from him, and even if I couldn’t feel him through our bond, I would still know he was waiting for me. Just as I would for him, were the circumstances reversed. We truly appreciate the fact that at any time one of us might be called to join the Force, and while we know we will one day be together again, we choose not to take for granted one single moment of togetherness that we are given.
I opened the door to our quarters, and there he was, arms opened wide as he strode towards me.
“Qui-Gon!” he said, and then there was no need for speech. Our embrace and our kiss said everything that needed to be said.
We held each other tightly, trying, as we always do, to meld into each other, to become one in body as we already are in spirit. Our love is strong and pure and the Force reaffirms our bond each time we hold each other. Each time we kiss. Each time we make love.
Obi-Wan had prepared something simple for thirdmeal, but neither of us felt the need for food just then. It would be there, whenever we wanted to eat. For now, there were other desires we chose to focus on.
And apparently, Obi-Wan had already planned the menu.
Still kissing, we managed to find our way to our bed, shedding each other’s clothing as we went.
It is not always like this. Often we would take the time to eat, and for one or both of us to shower, and would spend the night making slow, sweet love to one another.
But Obi-Wan made it clear that last night would not be one of those nights. Not that I complained. My lover is young and strong and at times, nearly insatiable, yet the Force has gifted me with far more stamina than I had even as a young man. Another sign from the Force that our bond is true and good.
“I’ve missed you,” Obi-Wan growled as he shoved me backwards onto the bed. “Force, but I’ve missed you so much this time.”
And then he was on me, kissing me, licking me, biting me, and it was all I could do to not grab him, flip him over, and take him, just like that. He wouldn’t have stopped me, either. Even if it wasn’t what he’d planned to begin with, he wouldn’t have stopped me.
I managed to hold back, just barely, and only because I knew whatever he had planned would be well worth the wait. It always is.
“I want to fuck you, Qui-Gon” he murmured as he slid his lips over my flesh. His words were almost my undoing, and I had to close my eyes against the desire I saw burning in his.
It’s not often Obi-Wan wants to take me in such a way, and hearing him tell me what he wanted to do to me had me writhing in anticipation underneath him.
He was kissing me fiercely, shoving his tongue deeply into my mouth and I felt him reach over and knew he was getting the vial of oil from the bedside table. I spread my legs to give him room, and he moaned into our kiss, the sound going straight to my already aching cock.
“Force, I’ve been thinking about doing this to you since the day you left,” Obi-Wan said. His hand was sliding between us, hot and slick with oil, and it was my turn to moan when he paused long enough to run his slick hand up and down my cock.
And then his fingers were at the entrance to my body, and knowing I could take it, he slipped two inside of me. I arched up into his hand, letting him know how good it felt, wanting him to give me more of him, all of him, because that’s what he does to me each and every time we are together.
He took his time preparing me, almost teasing me, and still he kissed me, claiming me, pulling sounds from me that only he has ever heard. Two fingers, and then three, and then he stopped kissing me to look down at me, and I thought I would drown in the love and desire I saw and felt from him.
Three fingers, not quite long enough to touch me where I so desperately needed to be touched, but so close, spreading the thick oil as far as he could reach. I wanted more, so much more of him, and he knew what I wanted, what I needed, and he gave me more. Three fingers became four, and I ached from need. He stared down at me, drinking in my desire for him, giving it back to me ten fold.
“Want you,” I gasped, trying to arch up into his hand. I wanted to force him to go deeper, to touch me just there, and then he pulled his fingers from my body, and I cried out at the sudden emptiness.
But then he was between my legs as I held myself open for him, and he was slowly pushing himself inside me. He was panting from effort, whether it was from holding himself back or pushing himself in, I don’t know. He was panting, licking his lips, and still he pushed deeper. And then he sighed and closed his eyes, and from between his gritted teeth he told me how hot I was, how tight I was, how good it was to be buried deep within me. I heard the bedding tear as I scrabbled for something to hold on to so as not to touch myself. I wanted to come from Obi-Wan's hand, for only he can make me complete.
“I’m going to fuck you, my Master,” he whispered hoarsely, and he began to move, slowly at first, almost all the way out and then back in, and again, and this time he found that spot deep inside of me. I cried out in pleasure. I wanted all of Obi-Wan inside of me, and he knew it and gave me what I craved. He gave me his love and his strength and he gave me himself.
And then he was moving faster, harder, and still I managed not to touch myself. I was so close, but I wanted to wait, wanted to watch him lose himself inside me. But it was Obi-Wan making the choices, and it was his choice to send me over the edge first.
He was shoving into me, over and over, his gasps in direct counterpoint to mine. His hand found my aching cock, and he squeezed it, and tugged it, and still I held on. I thought I would surely go insane.
“Qui-Gon,” he groaned loudly, and that was all it took. Hearing him say my name in his passion, feeling him swelling inside of me, knowing how much he loved me, it was enough. I arched up into him and began to shudder. I brought one hand up and closed it around his, giving my cock another squeeze, and then I was flying, and he was there with me, as he almost always is, as he almost always would be.
Afterwards we held each other as our heartbeats slowed and our ragged breathing calmed to something approaching normal. We held each other, and even though the actual act of making love was finished, the act of loving, and being loved, continued on throughout the night. Will continue throughout our lives and beyond.
Fini