Master Apprentice  Archive The Master's Musings - 2003-11-23 -
Helping Me Forget |
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Archive: MA, any others just ask, I probably won't say no
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com/~mali
Category: PWP
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Q/O
Summary: A series of short snippets, all from Qui-Gon's POV, focusing on his love for Obi-Wan, and their relationship.
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent.
Note: Thank you to my wonderful Evil-Twin sister, Catnip, for her most excellent beta, but as usual, all errors are still mine.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Obi-Wan asked, handing me a cup of hot tea.
I took the tea without looking up from the datapad I was pretending to be engrossed in. "About what?"
"Whatever it is that has you in such a mood," Obi-Wan said, sitting down on the ground beside me.
"I'm not in a mood," I grumbled.
"Right." He leaned back against the log I was leaning against, and stretched out his legs.
Which meant he was planning to stay awhile.
Great.
Yes, I was in a mood, and regardless of his good intentions, I really didn't want Obi-Wan trying to figure out the cause. I could not, would not, share this with him. I continued to stare at the datapad, though in truth, I hadn't a clue as to what I was looking at. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my mind off the communiqué I'd received earlier from the Council. Reading the results of an investigation into a horrible crime committed off-planet had left me with a mental image I feared I would not soon forget.
"It's a beautiful day," Obi-Wan ventured, after a short period of silence.
"I hadn't noticed."
"This garden is rather secluded," he mused.
"I hadn't noticed that, either."
He was quiet for a while, and I was beginning to think he might soon tire of my grumpiness and go find other pursuits for the afternoon. After receiving the communiqué from the Council, I'd given him the rest of the day off, as I felt the need to spend a few hours alone.
"You might notice if you put the datapad down," he said quietly.
I didn't bother to hide my annoyance. "I'm reading, Obi-Wan," I said sharply.
"No you're not."
I turned to glare at him. "Excuse me?"
He shrugged slightly, but didn't look away. "You're not reading, Master. You're brooding. Please tell me what's wrong."
"There is nothing wrong!" I answered, angrily.
"Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said softly, "don't push me away."
I'd had enough. I was furious now, and I wanted him to know it. I threw the datapad to the ground, hard enough to make it shatter. "Am I not allowed to spend time alone, without having to explain myself to my Padawan?" I roared.
He flinched, but still held my gaze, and suddenly I realized just how badly I'd treated him. Shields I didn't know I'd erected, melted under the onslaught of my heavy feelings of helplessness. I sighed deeply and looked away.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "You didn't deserve that."
Obi-Wan placed his hand on my thigh, his simple gesture speaking volumes. "Do you really want to be alone?" he asked.
I sighed again, and shook my head. Though I wasn't quite ready to bring myself to look at him, I knew I really didn't want to be alone. "No, I suppose I don't."
"I'm here, Qui-Gon." He squeezed my thigh. "I am always right here."
We sat together in silence for a time, our only contact was his hand resting upon my leg. That, and our bond. Even when purposefully muted by strong shielding, it was always there.
After a few minutes, I was ready to face Obi-Wan.
"Obi-Wan," I began, as I turned to look at him. "I am truly sorry for my actions towards you."
He shrugged slightly. "I know." For him, it was that simple.
"The Council sent the findings from their investigation," I said. "It was far worse than what we feared. And instead of releasing my emotions into the Force, I took them out on you."
"I know."
"And I apologize for that."
"So you've already said."
He managed that without even a hint of a smile.
"I love you," I told him.
"I know."
"Smug brat."
"I know." And then he did smile.
I reached over, pulled him to me, and hugged him fiercely. "I truly do love you," I whispered into his hair. "Please forgive me."
He turned his head to look up at me. "Already done, my Master," he said, softly.
"What was done to those people, it was . . . so vile, so wrong." I shuddered and closed my eyes, trying to shut out the horrible pictures that sprang to mind.
Obi-Wan tightened his arms around me, even as he flooded our bond with his love. Our position made hugging awkward, but I didn't want to let go of him, and I didn't want him to let go of me. And I didn't want to remember anymore.
"Kiss me," I growled, suddenly hungry for the taste of my lover.
Obi-Wan was there, offering his lips, his heart, his body, his soul. Just as he always did. Just as he always would.
I kissed him hard, frantic to fill my senses with everything that was Obi-Wan. Without breaking our kiss, he twisted around in my arms until he was in my lap, straddling my thighs. His arms held me tightly, his body pressed close to mine as he opened himself fully to me. I needed this. I needed him. I desperately needed to lose myself in the beautiful light that was my Obi-Wan.
"Need you," I gasped, when we broke for air.
"I know," he murmured, as his lips moved from my mouth to my neck.
"Want you!" And I did. Force I wanted him so badly.
"I know, I know," he answered, his smile hot against neck. His hands were suddenly between us, fumbling blindly at the fastenings of my leggings, as he worked to free my erection. His mouth was at my throat, his tongue and lips leaving a trail of fire as he kissed and sucked and nipped and licked, and I felt the oppressiveness of my burden vanish.
"Oh, Force!" I groaned, unable to do anything but hold on tightly. A moment later he was pulling my shaft from my leggings, and I gasped loudly, arching up into his hand. I tried to reach between us, desperate to rid him of the barrier of clothing that prevented me from being inside him, but his hands were already there, quickly undoing the fastenings of his own leggings.
"Hurry!" I begged, not caring how desperate I sounded. I was desperate. If I didn't shove myself into his body soon, I was sure I would die.
He rose up on his knees, his mouth never leaving my throat, and I grabbed his hips and yanked his leggings down. With a bit more fumbling, we managed to get them off first one leg, and then the other. Obi-Wan reached between us and grabbed my shaft, his thumb sliding around the tip of it, spreading my leaking seed over the head of my cock.
In a surprising moment of clarity, I realized we needed something more. No matter how desperately I ached to be inside of him, I couldn't hurt him. I reached blindly beside me, grasped the forgotten mug of now lukewarm tea, and without further thought, poured some of it into my lap.
Obi-Wan groaned, the sound coming from deep in his throat. He slid his hand up and down my shaft and then held it steady as he positioned himself over me. I reached around him and gripped the firm cheeks of his rear-end, holding him open, and I had to force myself not to shove him down on my aching cock.
Just as my shaft touched the opening of Obi-Wan's body, he bit my neck. Hard. I gasped loudly, and reflexively arched my body up while yanking his hips down. The sound he made then! Oh, Force, as long as I live I'll never forget that sound. And I knew I would happily spend the rest of my life trying to make him make that sound again. And then I was inside him, buried to the hilt, and nothing mattered but the intense heat and tightness of my Obi-Wan's welcoming body.
With a final soft, soothing kiss to the spot he'd just bitten, he pulled back and looked at me. His lips were slightly swollen, his cheeks were flushed with arousal, his eyes were darkened from passion, and he was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.
"Obi-Wan," I began, and then stopped. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to tell him, but I didn't have the words.
I didn't need them.
"I know," he answered softly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine and I kissed him, and held him close. And I lost myself in his body and in his love.
He began to move, slowly at first, while his body adjusted to my thickness. I slid my hands from his rear-end to his hips, not guiding him, just holding on, allowing him to set the pace. It didn't take long before he'd found his rhythm, and it was hard and fast, his body slamming down onto mine over and over again. Hard and fast. Over and over.
Just like I needed.
I came loudly, my orgasm almost taking me by surprise with its intensity, and Obi-Wan quickly followed me over the edge.
Making love with Obi-Wan didn't change the horror of what I'd read, but it did, for a time, help me forget. It was what I needed.
fini