Master Apprentice  Archive The Master's Musings - 2002-05-18 -
MMoM Day 18 |
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Archive: MA, any others just ask, I probably won't say no
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com/~mali
Category: PWP
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Q/O
Summary: A series of short snippets, all from Qui-Gon's POV, focusing on his love for Obi-Wan, and their relationship.
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent.
This one hasn't been betad. You've been warned.
"Did you ever participate in a circle jerk?" I casually asked Obi-Wan.
"A what?"
"A circle jerk. You know, where you sit in a circle with a bunch of . . . "
"I'm familiar with the phrase," he interrupted me. "Where did that come from?"
I was sitting on the sofa reading a book, and Obi-Wan was on the floor across from me. For the past three hours he'd been studying for an exam he would take online later in the day. I thought he could use a break from it. Tossing the book I'd been reading aside, I grinned at him. "I was thinking about my first one, and just wondered if you'd ever done it."
"Your first one?" he asked, his surprise evident in his voice. "You mean there have been more than one?"
I arched an eyebrow at him. "Why would that surprise you?"
"It doesn't surprise me, I just . . . I guess I just never thought of you like that," he stammered. "I mean, not that I ever thought about that and you. I mean, I thought about you a lot, but I never . . .I couldn't . . . I mean, you're my Master and . . ." he trailed off, embarrassed.
"I was young once, you know, Obi-Wan. I haven't always been a stodgy old stoic Master."
"No, Qui-Gon. I never thought of you as stodgy. And you are only stoic when the situation requires it."
"Ah," I said, wickedly. "But you do think of me as old?"
"No, that's not what I meant," he said. He was blushing furiously, and the expression on his face was priceless.
I could no longer contain my mirth and decided to let him off the hook. "Got you!" I laughed.
He stared at me a long moment, and then rolled his eyes. "I hate when you do that to me."
"Do what to you?" I asked innocently.
Instead of answering, he threw his data pad at me.
"Is that anyway to treat your poor old, decrepit Master, my young Padawan?"
He got up and closed the distance between us. "Believe me, Qui-Gon," he said, straddling my legs. "There is nothing," he placed his hands on my shoulders and his knees on the sofa, so that he was kneeling over me. "Old or decrepit," he sat down on my lap. "About you," he leaned towards me, slipped his arms around my neck and pressed his lips to mine.
Never one to turn down such a delicious gift, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. Feeling loved and cherished, I returned his sweet kiss. And it was so very sweet. Soft and slow and filled with tenderness, I could have happily held him and kissed him for hours. There was passion, yes, but not the urgent fervor born of desperate need, as most of our kisses had become of late. It was wonderful. I hadn't realized how much I missed just holding him. Kissing him. Loving him.
Since we'd been on MMoM, the stress of not being able to make love was beginning to tell on us. Every kiss, every touch, every look now seemed to set us off. I vowed then and there to do my best to change that. If I could. We had twelve more days here. I didn't want to spend the remainder of our time so sexually frustrated that we both missed out on just loving each other. There was nothing wrong with our fun and games, but there needed to be time when we could just be together.
Obi-Wan broke our kiss and rested his head on my shoulder. I sighed happily and rubbed his back. As we held each other, I thought back over the past sixteen days, and discovered, to my joy, there actually had been plenty of these times. We hadn't been missing out at all, I just hadn't been paying attention. That's what I would change then.
I hugged him tightly. "I love you Obi-Wan," I whispered softly.
"I know, Qui-Gon." He pressed a kiss against my neck. "I love you, too."
"I'd never dreamed I could feel this way," I continued, feeling my throat constrict with the depth of my emotions.
Obi-Wan rose up to look at me. He drew one arm from around my neck and touched my cheek with his thumb. Touched the tear I hadn't realized was even there. "Qui-Gon?" he asked softly.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "I don't ever want to take our love for granted, Obi-Wan."
He started to speak but I shook my head, silencing him. I needed him to hear me. Or maybe I just needed to say it. "What we have is so special. So wonderful. I treasure you and your love for me, more than my very life. I thank the Force daily for allowing our Master/Padawan bond to grow into a life bond. For giving us this most precious gift." This time I knew there were tears sliding down my face, but I didn't care. He was that important to me.
He leaned down and touched his lips to first one side of my face and then the other. When he pulled back, he looked at me, and what I saw in his eyes nearly made me begin to cry anew. So much love. So much devotion.
"Oh, my Qui-Gon," he said softly, tears forming in his own eyes. "You are my Master and my friend, but you are so much more to me. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. I love you with all that I am, and it is my greatest joy to know that that love is returned."
I pulled him close again, and hugged him to me, and we stayed that way for a very long time. And it was good.
Fini