Master Apprentice  Archive The Master's Musings - 2001-12-18 -
Live In The Moment |
|
Archive: MA, any others just ask, I probably won't say no
My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com/~mali
Category: PWP
Rating: PG13-R (I'm not sure. No actual sex, but it is alluded to. Of course.)
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Q/O
Summary: A series of short snippets, all from Qui-Gon's POV, focusing on his love for Obi-Wan, and their relationship.
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.
Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent.
This one hasn't been betad - you've been warned.
It wasn't long ago, that waking up with a morning erection was the exception and not the rule for me. It happened rarely, and most of the time I didn't think it was even worth the trouble of seeing to it, knowing if I ignored it, it would quickly fade. Many years have come and gone since I've had a lover, and I believed myself long past that stage in my life. I was a solitary creature when it came to matters of the heart. And the needs of my body no longer included sexual release. Or so I believed.
So how is it that I've suddenly become as randy as I was in my youth? I remember going through a period of several years in which I seemed to stay in a constant state of arousal. But I was young then, and understood that my body was reacting quite naturally to the influx of male hormones.
We made love this morning, and here I sit, sharing noon meal with him, and all I can think about is getting him back in to bed.
Before we became lovers, I tried to warn him that he would most likely be disappointed in his choice of a partner. I was older than he, by quite a few years, and neither of us needed a refresher course in human sexuality to know that a man of my age would probably not be able to perform as often, or as well, as he might have a few years before.
Obi-Wan merely smiled at me and said with great wisdom, "Master, there is so much more to being in love with someone, and being loved by someone, than just sex." If it weren't for the seriousness of the circumstances, I would have laughed out loud. I know my Padawan. When his instructor told Obi-Wan's class they should experiment with their burgeoning sexuality, my Padawan took him quite literally. If grades had been handed out, I have no doubt Obi-Wan would've had one of the highest scores in the class.
But when he offered himself to me, the very thing I had craved for so long, my excuses sounded feeble even to my own ears. When he told me he was in love with me, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, even if we never made love . . . well, as much as it pains me to admit the truth . . . I am a selfish old man.
He teases me sometimes, throwing my words back at me.
"I'm glad you can't perform as often or as well as you used to," he laughed, after we'd made love for the third time in one night. "I'm not sure I would survive it."
I refuse to question why I've been given this gift. Nor will I allow myself to dwell upon how long it may last. "Live in the moment," I tell him, just as my Master told me so many times. This I can do.
I don't care that we made love just this morning. I want him again. And from the way he is looking at me, I have no doubt he knows what I am thinking, and he wants me as well. Since we have no idea what will happen tomorrow, I think we should take advantage of the hardness now growing between my legs.
We do live in the moment, my Obi-Wan and I.
Fini