I Love the Way You Love Me (Love Letters 1/3)
by Triskell (triskell@xpoint.at)
Category: Romance
Summary: Qui-Gon's on a mission and Obi misses him - part 1
Series/Spoilers: Yes, the Love Letters Series (3 parts)/none
Archive: M-A please, my website
(http://www.user.xpoint.at/e.lebic/default.htm)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story belong to
George Lucas, the creator of the Star Wars Universe, where have
we heard that before? No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes:
Do drop me a line and tell me if you liked it!
A huge thank you to Dark~Angel for the beta...any remaining
faults are...unmistakably...mine ;-)
I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME (LOVE LETTERS part I)
(c) JEL, 1999
** Indicates a letter
Obi-Wan slumped down in the middle of the quarters he shared
with his Master. He was completely and utterly exhausted. It
was hard to believe that helping to clean a library could do
this to him - well, he had stretched his patience to
breaking-point - one more thing to tell Qui-Gon when he came
back. The council had sent him on a solo mission
someplace...his Padawan had not been told where to.
Obi-Wan sighed. It was not as if he objected to being on his
own - even though his Master meant the world to him it was good
to get away from each other sometimes. Just - not now -
especially today he wished fervently that he did not have to
spend the day - the evening he corrected himself - alone. It
was their first anniversary after all. But it seemed Qui-Gon
had forgotten the exact day they became lovers a year ago.
Obi-Wan had not. And never would for that matter.
His Master would not be home for days yet, and there had been
no message from him. Another sigh escaped the young man. He had
been asked not to touch the training bond so as not to disturb
Qui-Gon in whatever he was doing, wherever he was doing it. The
sun was already setting and Obi-Wan rose slowly, deciding to
get a bite to eat. He would simply spend the evening
meditating, then take a long, hot bath and think of his
Master...
The door chime sounded shrill to his ears after the quiet of
the library he had worked in the whole day. He almost jumped,
only his Jedi training keeping the polite smile on his face as
he opened the door. "Master Yoda!" Too late he noticed the
slight rise in his voice. He was on the verge of apologizing,
when the little creature brushed past him into the living room
and settled down on the sofa.
"Invite me in, you would not." A shake of the green head
accompanied every word. "Need to talk to you I do. Disturb you
long, I will not."
Obi-Wan nodded, fighting to keep his discomfort at bay - what
in Sith's name had he done that was bad enough to account for
one of the senior council members to pay him a visit?
"I hope I have not done anything... I'm very sorry, Master Yoda
- would you like something to drink? A snack?" The young man
cursed himself silently. This embarrassment was worse than any
punishment, how could he have been so impolite and
thoughtless...
"Sit down here, you will. Nervous, you must not be." Yoda waved
his hand around the room, then patted the cushion beside him.
Obi-Wan sat down carefully, as if not to disturb the little
particles of dust visible on the fabric in the dim, reddish
glow of the evening sun.
"Your anniversary it is. Miss you, your master does."
If it were possible for someone's eyes to fall out of their
sockets then Obi-Wan's were close to that end in his surprise.
"How do you know? I thought...I mean that...he didn't want to
tell the council and..."
Yoda chuckled. "Know of you, I did. So happy, Qui-Gon seemed,
so fulfilled. Many causes, there could not be. Nearest
conclusion you were."
The young man broke into a brilliant smile. "You really think I
make him happy?"
Though self-confident, Obi-Wan had doubted that his
relationship with his Master was beneficial to the latter in
any way. True, he loved him, but that did not automatically
mean that it was a real cause of happiness to him...
"Think on this later, you can. Here I am only to give you
this." The little Jedi Master pulled a slightly crumpled
envelope out of the pocket of his faded green tunic and held it
out to the young man beside him. Seeing the questioning look he
chuckled again. "From Qui-Gon this is. Entrusted me with it, he
did. Give it to you today, I should." When Obi-Wan took the
letter, Yoda got up and padded towards the door. "Happy
anniversary to you, I wish."
He chuckled once more, then the door closed behind him. The
Padawan stared at the paper in his hand. "So he hasn't
forgotten after all..." he mumbled as a slow smile spread on
his face.
**To Obi-Wan.** His Master's handwriting definitely was
beautiful, clear, bold and straight. Carefully, Obi-Wan opened
the envelope and took out the sheets filled with words, some of
them crossed out, as if written in great haste - or while
trying hard to put down everything at once...
**Dear love,
I'm sorry this is only a letter and that I can't say all this
to you in person. But this mission is very important
for...various reasons and I had to accept it. So, as I won't be
here for our anniversary...there are things I've been wanting
to tell you for some time now and never got to do it...this
is...I did my best to write it all down, without forgetting.
Happy anniversary, love. I really am...you make me happy...I
can't tell you in words what you mean to me, I must admit. I've
been sitting here for at least half an hour searching for the
right words. I love you is all I came up with - not exactly
creative, I would say. What I think I should do at this
particular point in our relationship, what I planned to do
tonight, is to tell you exactly what your company, your love
and - above all, you mean to me.
It's hard to explain, love, but I will do my best. It's a
thousand little things you do, or say or sometimes just the way
you move, or how you turn your head towards me, catch my eye. A
glance from you is so much more than a simple look, it's like a
message, I can see your affection for me so clear then, as if
you were touching my heart that moment.**
Obi-Wan's smile deepened. He had never thought he would hold a
love letter from his Master in his hands... and most of all not
one addressed solely to him. It was just like Qui-Gon to
consider every possibility, and he had not forgotten their
anniversary.
This alone was enough to make the young man perfectly happy. He
was contented and warmed by the simple token of love he held at
this moment - a letter for him, to tell him what his beloved
felt for him. He grinned foolishly, looking at the bloody
streaks the sun cast into the room, then turned on the light
and went back to reading...
**You'll probably laugh, but the first thing that came to my
mind when I began writing is that you're precious. Just that.
And then I thought I should give you a few reasons why you're
so special. So I sifted through my memories, considered all
we've done together, all we've been through - and - apart from
the obvious - your being a true friend, a just courageous man
and an excellent fighter I can count on in every situation - I
remembered that time when we were on Irrynia 6.
You were sixteen, and you came to me one evening and grinned
foolishly, then sat down beside me and said you had to ask me a
very important question. I looked at you and I knew that moment
that you'd been up to mischief. You told me then that you had
fallen in love with a girl and that you would like to act on
it. And you wanted my advice. I can't remember what I
said...only that it ended up with you calling her at the temple
and telling her what you felt for her.
I was in my room, when you burst in, grinning from ear to ear,
then took my hand and announced you were happy enough to
explode while you dragged me with you. Then we were standing in
the arcade, with the rain pouring down outside and you said
that the girl was in love with you too. It was so simple
really, but you were glowing, your eyes sparkled and you pulled
me outside, drenching both of us as you started to jump about
wildly.
I thought you must have gone mad, but you just grinned and
hopped about in the garden, lifting your face to catch the
raindrops, imitating some native dance you had seen, though I
must say it was poorly done, love. Your dancing skills have
improved greatly over the last years.
You called for me to join you - and - I remember clearly how
silly I thought it would look, but your eyes, the pure joy in
your face, it all overwhelmed me and I felt so happy, seeing
your happiness that I actually joined you...the locals were
most amused - fortunately - for if they had told the council
about this episode I guess we would have been given a hard time
of it...but it was worth it nevertheless.**
Yes, it had been worth it. He remembered. They had danced in
the rain for almost an hour, just hopping about, it had been
such a silly thing to do and he had known all the while that he
wanted nothing else just then. Obi-Wan turned the page over as
he continued.
**And that is one of the reasons I fell in love with you,
Obi-Wan. Your sometimes reckless pursuit of things you felt you
had to do, whether they were appropriate at that moment or not.
And how you convinced me that it was perfectly fine to let go
once in a while, to behave in a completely undignified way.
Irrynia 6 was only an example... if I think of Mon Calamari -
goodness, that race after that colourful fish - I forgot the
name - we spent hours on that - for no particular reason, if
I'm not very much mistaken. All you said was that it would be
great to take a closer look at it and that we'd just have to
get at it. Our guide had a good laugh at us, if you remember.**
As if he'd ever forget that - his Master's hair had come undone
and he had had it plastered all over his face by the water, as
there was no time to push it back - the current was strong and
that fish extremely fast. When they had emerged from the water,
Qui-Gon had done his best to keep his face level, but the smirk
and sparkle in his eyes betrayed him. He had enjoyed that
episode just as much as his student had...
**I guess you'll be smiling now, love. I'm grinning like a fool
myself... I also remember how often we disagreed about your
baths. You take ages to soak yourself and you won't forget
about it - when we were on Elavan, mediating between the tribes
in the desert - you kept reminding me that I had promised you a
bathtub in the capital.
You wouldn't let me forget - and then you sat in it for...how
long? I only remember finishing a particularly long report and
then reading a few chapters of a local novel before you
eventually emerged from your bath, you were virtually
steaming...**
Oh, yes, he remembered that particular evening very well. Very
well indeed. He had not forgotten one moment. He still
treasured what had happened then - always would - it had been
that evening exactly a year ago when they had first confessed
their feelings for each other...
**You looked so lovely...and I wanted to kiss you so badly...I
thought of so many things to say while I just looked at you and
I couldn't pronounce one single word. So I let go as you had
told me to do. It was a risk I had been afraid to take for a
long time and though I was in a tremor all the time I won't
ever regret it...**
Qui-Gon had looked at him so softly, warmly - and he had caught
his gaze, seen the depth in his blue eyes and then a wave of
unconditional love had splashed over him, dazing him with its
sheer force. It had taken him a while to understand that these
feelings came from his Master and were directed at him. There
had not been a question or a hope in them, just pure, true and
sincere love, affection and respect for him as a person.
**You reacted very slowly, it was a lot I flung at you then -
and I remember how hard it was to keep my longing, my hopes
away from you - the last thing I ever wanted was to influence
you, love.
But you needed no convincing - the second you stepped towards
me I knew you loved me, I saw it in your eyes, they were
smiling, glowing with acceptance...you didn't stop until you
stood before me and then my heart caught, and I felt like a
youth again - someone who's never been kissed...I cherish that
kiss, it lies in my mind and I haven't forgotten one movement
of your lips or your tongue or how you tugged at my braid,
opened it and stroked through my hair...**
Obi-Wan grinned. Typical. Not that he had forgotten himself.
That kiss had swept him off his feet - not that he would have
told Qui-Gon - but he would now; after all, he had a right to
know what an impression he had made as a lover from the very
beginning...
**When I first said your name after that...it was so strange, I
thought it sounded different, love...maybe I'm being foolish,
but I swear your name was different when I spoke to you as a
lover for the very first time...
See - I haven't forgotten last year, love and I'll keep those
memories close to my heart. I've packed one of your cloaks, you
probably haven't noticed...did I mention your closet's in a
state of complete chaos?
I wanted to have something of yours close to me at night...now
you're laughing, aren't you? But your scent always comforts me,
and when I think of your sniffing and crying all the many times
we've watched some romantic holo vids together...that's all I
need to fall asleep...yes, I'm teasing you, love...and I'll
never stop...**
Oh, well. It would have been too much to ask that his Master
would forget his less than distinguished reaction to a few of
the more...touching holo vids they had watched. In one the
heroine lost her mother, in the other, someone's darling pet
died after it had given its owner one last look with deep brown
eyes... Great, now here he was sniffling again.
He just could not help it - it was so...moving...and Qui-Gon
knew how much that affected him. He loved to tease him about
it, then pull him close, hugging him, patting his back and
kissing the top of his head. That was why Obi-Wan cherished
these moments more than most others. He felt so safe then, so
comforted...
**Where was I? Yes, all I meant to do in this letter was to
tell you how I feel, how much you mean to me. And here I am
telling you stories you already know. All I should have written
down was the following: you're my life, love. And I'm
completely and utterly in earnest.
You make me feel at ease, no matter how tense the situation, I
can rely on you, you back me up and criticise me at the next
moment...and you comfort me when I need you to. All this and a
lot more makes up the reasons for my loving you. And even
though I won't be with you when you read this I hope you'll
know that I'm thinking of you and that you're in my heart
always. Qui-Gon**
Obi-Wan slowly put the letter aside. A tear had slipped past
his lashes and made its way down his cheek. He had never
imagined. These words came right from his lover's heart, from
someone who truly and utterly cherished him and needed him.
He even admitted to once in a while liking to be comforted. And
all the things he had thought were the most natural in the
world - being there, accepting, advising even...all those were
important to Qui-Gon - he noticed them all, did not just take
them for granted.
The young man smiled, brushing the tear from his face. He
carefully put the letter back into the envelope, then got up,
padding lightly into the bathroom. His lover was right - a hot
bath was the thing he craved most when he wanted to
relax...that - and Qui-Gon's body close to him...and though the
latter would have to wait until his Master came home, he would
most certainly indulge in the first...
The End (for now)
You liked the story? Then check out the other 2 stories in this
series - "Sunsets" and "Cause your heart's as profound as a
mine"
I Love the Way You Love Me
I like the feel of your name on my lips
And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss,
The way that your fingers run through my hair
And how your scent lingers even when you're not there.
I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh
And how you enjoy your two-hour bath
And how you convinced me to dance in the rain,
With everyone watching like we were insane.
But I love the way you love me,
Strong and wild, slow and easy,
Heart and soul, so completely,
I love the way you love me.
I like the sound of all Rs and Bs
You're all I ask for when I'm slightly off hill and
I like the innocent way that you cry over sappy old
Movies you've seen thousands of times.
But I love the way you love me,
Strong and wild, slow and easy,
Heart and soul, so completely,
I love the way you love me.
And I could list a million things I'd love to like about you
But they all come down to one reason - I could never live without you.
But I love the way you love me,
Strong and wild, slow and easy,
Heart and soul, so completely,
I love the way you love me.
The song "I Love the Way You Love Me" can be found on the album
"By Request" from Boyzone (copyright 1999 Universal Music
Ireland), the transcript was made by me. No copyright
infringement is intended.
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