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Series/Sequel: No
Disclaimers: George Lucas is the owner. Like most, he hasn't a
clue. I just do this for fun, not for money.
Summary: Qui-Gon ends the relationship. A reaction to the
recent Qui-Gon ends the relationship stories. His muse demanded
equal time.
WARNING: DEATH. Don¹t read this if it hurts you to read
death stories.
Now, Qui-Gon thought, before he falls asleep. Turning to face
his young friend and lover, the Jedi Master felt his heart
begin to break. It had to be done, or Obi-Wan would be in
danger of the Dark. Smiling, he ran his fingers through the
red-gold hair he loved so well and sighed. "It's time we
stopped, Obi-Wan."
Too quickly gone white, the young knight raised up on one elbow
and looked down at his former Master. "Stopped? What do you
mean?"
Years past needing the dominant position, the older man bit his
lips, then said, "People fall in love. People fall out of love.
And you, my precious Obi-Wan, have fallen out of love with me."
He caressed Obi-Wan¹s cheek as tenderly as he would that
of a babe.
Having taken the hit, Obi-Wan rallied with, "And what makes you
think that?"
"It¹s all right, love," Qui-Gon assured him. "Please, you
need to go and be with Jamin. I do not begrudge you your
happiness." When Obi-Wan simply seemed to refuse to process his
words, he specified. "Over the past two years you have closed
down our bond except when we are working. You thought you had
done, in any case. But I have been a Master for a long time,
and attuned to the force and your place within it for fourteen
years. In addition, sex once a week is not normal for you. And
I have not been unaware of your time with Jamin, who is an
excellent choice for you."
Obi-Wan¹s expression crumpled, then firmed up. Unfallen
tears in his eyes, he said, "I want children, you see. And I do
love her." He swallowed hard. "But I wouldn't have deliberately
hurt you for anything, you have to believe that."
Qui-Gon nodded. "I do. I understand, and I will expect to be at
your bonding ceremony and to be invited to meet your children."
One last time, he leaned up and kissed that soft mouth,
reflecting that he might do those things, but not in this
lifetime.
"You will want to work with her as well," he observed. Jamin
was a fairly new but impressive diplomat. They would be an
excellent team. He sat up and took Obi-Wan¹s arm. "Come,
sweet Obi-Wan. It¹s time."
"Master, uh, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan stammered, "I've never thanked
you for making me the best Jedi I could be. For saving my life
so many times. For...everything." He met Qui-Gon in the middle
of the bed and their eyes locked. Qui-Gon felt sorrow for the
pain in that gaze and would have erased it if he could.
Raising his hands to the younger man's temples, Qui-Gon called
up the Force. "Never doubt that you did, with every time you
made love with me, every time you gave me one of your dazzling
smiles, every time you made my tea. Believe that I have no ill
will toward you, no malice. There is hurt, of course, but it
will pass. And you haven't done it deliberately."
A momentary surge of the Force severed their bond, leaving
Qui-Gon empty and silent inside, and Obi-Wan free to go. Which
he did. Rather than watch the swift packing of what few
personal belongings Obi-Wan still had in their quarters,
Qui-Gon went to shower, and permitted himself to weep.
Thereafter, in his silent rooms, he dressed in clean robes and
donned his cloak. He went to his favorite gardens and knelt to
meditate. He had not been there five minutes before a familiar
voice said, "So you've finally done it."
A slight nod of his head was all the answer he gave to Mace.
"Are you all right, old friend?"
Another nod.
Irritated, Mace said, "Then there's the fact, which Obi-Wan
presumably does not know, that you'll survive long after Jamin
and, for that matter, Obi-Wan, have gone to dust."
"What has my species' long life to do with it, Mace?"
"He had you for fourteen years. And because of this ridiculous
idea you have about being in love, I never have. Never will!"
Taking a moment to let the strident tone die away, Qui-gon
responded, "Mace, we¹d tear one another apart. You'd know
that if you were honest about it."
Master Mace sighed. "I came out here to see if you needed
comforting and ended up shouting at you instead. You must be
right."
Qui-Gon managed a smile and sank to his knees again. "Of
course."
Mace laughed. "Call if you need me."
"I will. Thank you."
Alone again, Qui-Gon permitted the pain to swell and swell and
bring on the tears and the rage and the feeling of being too
little and too lost. Just as it began to shake him viciously,
he released it into the Force. Exhausted, he sank down, his
forehead on the flagstones. Obi-Wan would be all right. Of
course he would. Jamin would be there for him, and they loved
one another. Qui-Gon, however, found the idea of the next four
hundred years without the largest part of his heart unbearable.
If he¹d been short-lived, it might have been borne. If he
had been permitted to be with Obi-Wan until the young man had
lived his natural span and died, he could have survived that.
However, the Jedi Master did not believe the Force required it
of him to suffer for so long.
He sank into the center of the universe, straightened his back
and replaced his emptiness with the Living Force, his first and
present love. When the garden workers arrived in the morning,
there was a set of robes and a cloak lying abandoned in the
quad.
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