A Longer Lightsaber: fic-challenge response

by pixelbaby (pix@pixelbaby.com)

Rating: I'm not very good at these... it's honestly not that dirty. Maybe a PG-13?

Feedback: I love it, but don't expect it for something this silly.

Pairing: Qui/Obi, Obi/other (implied)

Comments/Summary: That would be telling! This is a response to Gaia's "bulk email" challenge.

When Qui-Gon returned to the quarters he shared with his apprentice, he was surprised to hear water running in the 'fresher. A glance at the crono revealed that it was early still, and that his padawan was back from his date earlier than expected.

With a silent shrug, Qui-Gon put his datapad down on the small table next to his favorite chair and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Half of an hour and two cups of strong, sweetened tea later, Qui- Gon frowned and put down his book. He walked up to the 'fresher and knocked on the door. "Padawan? You haven't drowned in there, have you?"

Qui-Gon was contemplating Force-unlocking the door and checking on Obi-Wan himself when he finally heard the water shut off. He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms, and a few minutes later a very damp, very upset padawan opened the door. He was shielding, Qui-Gon noted, but he could still sense the frustration rolling off his apprentice in waves.

"Master," Obi-Wan said, flushing bright red as he clutched a bunched- up bath sheet in front of him, "I have a problem."

Obi-Wan gratefully accepted the cup of tea his Master pressed into his hand. He was leaning against the cupboards in the kitchen while Qui-Gon sat down at their small table. Obi-Wan had changed into a very loose pair of sleep pants and a robe, and Qui-Gon was trying his hardest to avert his gaze from his Padawan's condition.

"Alright, Padawan. Why don't you start the story at the beginning?"

Still blushing, Obi-Wan took a gulp of his tea before speaking. "Well, you know that Triskan and I have been dating for some time now, right?" His Master nodded, and Obi-Wan was relieved that his Master wasn't forcing him to make eye contact. "It's not really serious, but we've been... intimate together... just a casual friends- thing." Qui-Gon nodded again.

"Well, you remember the sparring competitions a couple of tendays ago, right? You and some of the other Masters had workshops for the initiates and the younger padawans, and the mid and senior-level padawans were competing?" Another nod, and Obi-Wan continued, "Anyway, afterward, when everyone was showering in the locker room, Triskan. . saw you."

Qui-Gon frowned. "'Saw' me, Padawan?"

"You know... naked." Obi-Wan blushed even more, hanging his head. "So, later, when we were together, he was teasing me, and asked me why I couldn't be more like my Master in that department."

The older man nearly blushed himself as he realized what Obi-Wan was saying, but the padawan continued. "You know all of those stray holo-net messages everyone gets now? Well, I actually started paying attention to the ones that said things like 'Need a longer lightsaber?' and 'A man with an 8-inch hydrospanner is better equipped than a man with a 5-inch hydrospanner'. So, I thought I'd give it a try."

Realization hit Qui-Gon at the same time the absurdity of the situation did, and he found himself hard-pressed not to laugh out loud. Obi- Wan, face burning, quickly gulped down the rest of his tea and dropped his face into his hands as Qui-Gon fought laughter.

"I can guess the rest, Padawan. You took a pill, or two," he added, looking at his apprentice with a teasing gleam in his eye, "your date was more alarmed at your... attributes than pleased, and begged off the rest of your date. You came home, tried to take care of the problem yourself, and are finding yourself rather tense."

Obi-Wan looked up at his Master. "Something like that," he admitted dryly.

Silence permeated the room at Qui-Gon sipped his tea thoughtfully. "Well, there's nothing for it, Padawan," he said finally. "If you have tried to relieve the problem, and can't, we'll have to take you to the Healers."

"Oh, Master, please..."

Qui-Gon shook his head firmly. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, but I'm sure you want to get this taken care of before there's any permanent damage."

A reluctant nod. "Surely there's some Force-trick we can try to purge the drug?" Obi-Wan asked in a pathetic voice. At that, Qui- Gon did chuckle, but his expression was one of sympathy as he shook his head.

"I wish there were another way, Padawan, but I think this is beyond both of us."

Obi-Wan slumped against the counter, dejected. The contrast of his depressed posture and raging erection forced Qui-Gon to stifle another laugh. Obi-Wan didn't look up. Finally, Qui-Gon heard a small voice ask, "Can they come here? I really don't want to walk through the whole Temple like this."

Qui-Gon stood and walked over to his apprentice. He put an arm around the sagging shoulders and gave Obi-Wan a squeeze of encouragement. "Certainly, Padawan. Let me give Healer Pelwick a call and see if we can get this problem in hand." Qui-Gon found himself biting his lip when Obi-Wan shot him a look.

"Thanks, Master."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Qui-Gon jumped in his place in the hall outside the 'fresher door. Quickly, he pressed his ear again to the plasteel, but was soon running back to his chair in the common room as the door opened and Healer Pelwick stepped out. The Healer gave Qui-Gon a shallow bow of respect, and cleared his throat. "Master Jinn, ah, your Padawan will be just fine. I diverted the blood flow from the... affected part." At Qui-Gon's polite nod, the Healer blushed slightly. "He'll be sore for a bit," the Healer explained, giving another bow, and hurriedly excusing himself.

After giving Obi-Wan a few moments to collect himself, Qui-Gon knocked lightly on the 'fresher door. "Padawan?" he called softly.

"Come in."

Qui-Gon opened the door and averted his eyes as he caught a glimpse of his apprentice sitting naked on the edge of their bathtub. "Are you all right?" the Master asked.

"I will be," Obi-Wan replied, reaching at last for his trousers and gingerly drawing them on. "How come those damn Healers have to use needles for everything when they have painless ways of doing things?" he grumbled as he eased his abused member back into his pants.

Qui-Gon licked his lips as he caught sight of the impressive, though flaccid, flesh Obi-Wan was tucking away. "Why... why would you ever think you'd need... help, Obi-Wan?"

The younger man followed his Master's eyes and grinned cheekily. "Why do you ask, Master?" he shot back.

"Ahh... I... uh..." Obi-Wan flipped open the fly of his trousers and let them slide again to the floor. Qui-Gon's jaw dropped as he was presented with an un-obstructed look at his very sexy apprentice's nude form.

"What's that, Master?" Obi-Wan asked as he approached the older man and twined one leg around his Master's. He took Qui-Gon's large hands and drew them down to cup his ass, then slid his own hands up under the Master's tunics. "I don't think I caught that."

Qui-Gon felt light-headed as his padawan leaned closer and nibbled gently on the curl of his ear. "So, should we follow your advice for quick healing, Master?"

"And and what would that be, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan flicked the tip of his tongue into the ear. "Well, you always tell me to exercise when I injure something. And I would absolutely hate to not follow your advice, especially on this occasion."

"I suppose... You're probably on to something, Padawan." Qui-Gon groaned as Obi-Wan slid his wandering hands down beneath the waistband of his trousers.

"Oh, I'm not yet," he replied. Obi-Wan pulled back and caught Qui- Gon's gaze. "But I will be."

- FIN -