Master Apprentice Archive Love of a Different Type (2/5) Quick search:

Archive: Master and Apprentice.

Category: AU, Romance

Series: Part 2 of Love of a different type

Rating: PG

Warning: Not really, a bit of Angst for Qui-Gon maybe.

Summary: Part two of LODT. The two Jedi met after Obi-Wan is knighted. The usual Qui-Gon meets Obi-wan story? Maybe not. Not everything is quite what it seems.

Spoilers: slight mention of Xanatos

Disclaimer: I know the first part doesn't have one and there is a few little mistakes I want to fix up on it, but until I get it resubmitted this is going to have to be enough to cover both parts. The Starwars chess set and corresponding chess pieces are the exclusive property of MR George Lucus. I just want to play with the two Knights? You know the ones. Pretty Please? With cherry chocolate sauce and whipped cream on top.

Feedback: Sure, send it over.

Almost two weeks later Obi-wan walked down the corridors with a hastily packed bag in hand. Having received his second mission, he'd gone and packed, finding his now lover had disappeared while he'd being with the council receiving his mission. So he left a note to say where he was going on the table. As a side thought, he decided to pay a quick visit to his new friend and Jedi Master, Qui-Gon, and tell him where he was going.

Pausing out side the door only a moment before ringing the door bell. Hearing Rex bark as he waited. A moment later the tall, broad shouldered Master, thankfully fully dressed, with his long chestnut hair pulled neatly away from the gently sloping forehead. Dark blue eyes looked down at him, taking in his travel gear.

'Going on your next mission?' Qui-Gon asked him. Warm, rich lips twitching into a smile.

Obi-wan nodded. 'Yes, my second mission. I just wanted to thank you, for the help you've been.'

'It's nothing, truly. Any time. Come back and call on me when you get back. Council seems determined to keep me here awhile longer. If you have any need to talk to anyone, about anything or just want more cherry chocolate sauce, just come to me.'

'I'd like that, shall we be friends?' Obi-wan asked, extending his arm. A firm grip, thickly callused clasped around it.

'Friends.' Dark eyes looked into his and Obi-wan suddenly wanted to be more then friends, right then and there.

His attraction warred against what he felt for his new lover. He did love Travis and somehow he'd nearly forgotten that in the time he'd spent away from Travis. He swallowed hastily.

'I really should go.' He said a touch reluctantly.

'Transports awaits for no Jedi.' The rich lips smiled, framed by the trimmed beard and mustache, it looked incredibly sexy.

Obi-wan was caught between laughing at the joke and being aroused. He had to get out of there. 'Well thank you again Qui-Gon.' He bowed straightly and turned away, making himself tear his gaze from the captivating blue depths that threatened to drag him under.

Three weeks later Qui-Gon blocked and parried with his green lightsaber. Fighting against his sparing partner, Teracel. A year mate and almost like an older brother to him despite being only two months older, Teracel was one of the few good enough with a lightsaber among many Masters to still, on the odd occasion, beat him still. Today was not going to be one of them. With a twist and spin, Qui-Gon caught the older man unaware and got under his guard to hold his lightsaber just millimeters from his stomach.

'You win again Qui.' Teracel stepped back with a smile as his yellow lightsaber was turned off. Qui-Gon turned his off as well.

'You're starting to make a habit of it Teracel.' He grinned easily. 'Not losing your touch I hope?'

'Of course not.' Teracel laughed. 'You've just being getting more practice lately than I.'

'Are you finished now Master Cer'mith?' A strange voice asked. Qui-Gon turned to see a slightly short young knight whose short blond hair was starting to grow out of its padawan crop.

'Did you want something Knight Deru?' Teracel pointedly asked the Knight, scowling slightly. Qui-Gon frowned as he sensed his friends dislike of the knight.

'There was a reason why I came to see you. I had no idea how excellent a swordsman you are, but it is not everyone who would willing cross their blades with the famous Master Jinn. That takes tremendous courage and I value that in you.'

Qui-Gon hid a smile, no wonder Teracel disliked him, the young knight was trying desperately hard to come onto him and Teracel was purely interested in women only. 'Perhaps we can talk about it over lunch.' The knight suggested with what was probably his sexiest smile. Qui-Gon gave his head a shake. Some might have found it appealing, but this Knight was a shadow compared to Obi-wan. Qui-Gon frowned, where had that come from? He hadn't thought too much about the rusty haired, green eyed Knight since he'd left for his second mission.

'How about it Qui? Shall we have lunch?' Teracel asked. Qui-Gon turned sharply to fix his gaze on his friend, his mind taking awhile to remember what was going on.

Quickly recognizing that Teracel wanted back up so the knight would have little opportunity to flirt openly.

'Sure thing Ter.' He nodded. 'Let's go find seats in the Dining hall before they're all taken.' Noticing the Knights scowl, though that was conflicting with the idea of eating lunch with the Great Master Jinn.

'Great. I'll be the most popular knight, every one will want to know what it feels like to sit next to Master Jinn.' Knight Deru looked at him.

Teracel shook his head this time.

'It's time like these Qui. I'm glad I don't have your reputation.'

'You can take it if you want. I don't want it.'

'No, I think I'll let you keep it.' Teracel smiled. 'Come old friend I'm hungry.'

Teracel clapped his shoulder as he guided him out of the training room.

'Watch who you're calling old, you are older then me Ter.'

'Only by two months.' Teracel laughed. 'Come alone Knight Deru.' Scowling blackly, the Knight did so.

'He has a huge crush on you.' Qui-Gon whispered to his friend.

'If Knight Deru knows what's good for him, he'll watch his step. I had to rescue him from a mission and I did not at all like what was going on there. Nor here. I suspect he is dabbling in unwarranted mind control. His conduct is under questioning. The council has their eye on him. They're thinking of making his next mission a Sef'pilom.'

Qui-Gon stiffened and shivered. It was the same kind of mission his former padawan went on, the one which showed him for what he was. A creature of the Dark side. Qui-Gon remembered with a growing icy chill how it felt to have his padawan reveal his true cruel mind. He'd broken the bond with Xanatos immediately but the shadow of that memory of his former apprentice's true mind still haunted him.

'Easy Qui.' Teracel rubbed his shoulder in sympathy. 'It could turn out to be nothing or that he hasn't strayed as far from the light and we can turn him back.' A Sef'pilom was used for senior padawans or young knights, if dark pursuits were suspected. It wasn't often needed and even less used. They had a Masters version of it too.

The Re'mointjl. The one Qui-Gon was sent on soon after his apprentices turn to make sure, even after such a betrayal, he was still a Jedi and still on the light side of the force.

He was the only Master to have done it in over two hundred years. Lending him some of the reputation he now had.

Qui-Gon just nodded, but he could do nothing to calm the sudden jumble off nerves and panic that now fluttered in him, the sense of something wrong and dark, the swirl of conflicting emotions he thought he'd concurred finally a few years ago.

Obi-wan stumbled home to his quarters exhausted and tired. He was back a day early, so he wasn't too surprised to know Travis was not waiting at the transport nor was he here at their quarters, but it did hurt some to know that he went though so much trouble for Travis but had not gotten the same back. But how was Travis suppose to know to wait for him?

Obi-wan smiled at himself. It was silly to feel hurt by something neither he nor his lover could help. So he stashed his pack away, then decided to hunt his lover down and drag him back here for a proper welcome. With a glance at the time, Obi-wan mused that the Dining Hall would be a good place to check. If he didn't find Travis, maybe he'd find one of his friends, who could then direct him to his absent lover.

With a smile, he existed his quarters again. He headed quickly to the Dining Hall, pausing at the entrance to glance over the room. The first figure his eyes set upon was the tall Jedi Master Qui-Gon, he'd become friends with recently. The tall Master was standing in line, waiting for his meal. With the sighting, came to return of the nagging attraction he felt for Qui-Gon. He felt a rush of guilt that accompanied that. He wasn't being true to his love for Travis. He had to stop this pulling attraction he felt.

'Qui-Gon.' He rapidly approached the older man. Surprised that the Master was here, though he really shouldn't be. What did he expect, that the Master spent all of his time in his quarters? Obi-wan laughed at his own naiveté,. Of course Qui-Gon didn't, Obi-wan had just learned to associate the tall, handsome Master with his quarters.

Obi-wan shock his head, as much to clear his thoughts from the memory of Qui-Gon's naked chest then his own stupidity. "You are a fool." He sighed to himself. He was in love with Travis and the Master had his Ruben, and that was that.

Qui-Gon turned his handsome bearded face to see him and a smile twitched on those rich lips.

'Obi-wan.' The Master bowed his head. 'You are back from your second mission?'

The dark eyes looked into his.

'Yes, just about an hour ago. I was actually on a hunt for Travis, but since you're here, I thought you should know I'm back as well.'

'How did it go?' Qui-Gon asked him.

'The mission? Well I guess it went well enough. I'm glad to be back. Have you any idea how tedious it is to deal with Kliomty? I felt like screaming at them sometimes, but I hardly felt like it was conduct worthy of a Jedi Knight.' Obi-wan admitted.

Qui-Gon laughed a delightful chuckle.

'The council must have a lot of faith in your abilities to allow you to tackle the Kliomty. I have had to deal with them on occasion myself. They are a strain to deal with I know. If they are allowing you to deal with them, they must be thinking of putting you on a dangerous mission soon.'

'You think so?' Obi-wan looked quite pleased. 'Though Travis will grouse that I might be allowed a padawan before him.' He chuckled slightly. 'He grumbles badly enough over the fact I'm a better fighter then he.'

'Do you have any initiate in mind?' Qui-Gon asked quickly.

'Not really.' Obi-wan frowned slightly. 'Travis is more interested in getting a padawan now then I am, I want to built up on experience a bit more before I think too much on taking on a padawan. It doesn't seem very long ago when I was a young padawan myself.'

Qui-Gon nodded in understanding. 'I felt a bit like that myself at first, A knight risks a lot when taking a padawan, and he places the padawan at risk too. A fact I know all to well. I think I was afraid of repeating the failures of Sam's Master. My former Master told me after my forth or fifth mission to go down and take a look at the initiates. There was a boy, about twelve with jet black hair and ice blue eyes. Highly intelligent, a warrior even at that age and a temper to go with it.' Qui-Gon looked off at the distance a moment.

'He became your apprentice?' Obi-wan asked softly. Qui-Gon let out a soft sigh and held out his tray for the chef to fill up.

'Yes he did.'

'What is it like to have an apprentice?' Obi-wan asked curiously.

Qui-Gon breathed deep to calm his swirling emotions, he could not turn this young knight off the idea of having a padawan, he had to encourage Obi-wan.

'He was a delight to train.' Qui-Gon said slowly, reluctantly bringing forth the fonder memories of Xanatos, the memories he'd rather forget.

'Focused in his training and more intelligent then I first suspected, offset by his occasional bursts of temper. He was not attuned to the living force as I am, but each Jedi is different in varying ways. He was always asking questioning, striving to understand. He became, almost like a son to me. We shared, or so I thought, everything with each other.' Qui-Gon fell into a heavy silence, taking his tray to walk back to Teracel who sat next to the latest recruit for the Sef'pilom.

He sensed Obi-wan was following him with a slight frown. Until he got closer to his old friend, where Obi-wan suddenly brightened up and rushed forward. 'Travis, there you are!' Qui-Gon froze as Obi-wan rushed forward to hug Knight Deru, the knight under suspicion, kissing him swiftly on the cheek. Qui-Gon closed his eyes, heart pounding in sudden fear, wishing his mind would stop seeing Xanatos instead of Travis Deru. His emotions were out of control as he battled against his inner demon, ones he'd thought he'd vanquished.

The revelation of Knight Deru being considered for a Sef'pilom mission, combined with Obi-Wan asking about his former padawan and now seeing Obi-wan kiss the person who was obvious his lover Travis, who was also the one under suspicion by the council for unwarranted mind control. It was just too much. He could barely hear what was being said, but he could see that Travis was brushing Obi-wan off so he could flirt with Teracel, and that the brush off had hurt Obi-wan, who expected are more enthusiastic welcome of a lover, rather then being introduced as a 'close friend.' By this point he was visibly shaking.

The tray rattled in his heads.

'Qui-Gon?' He turned to see Teracel looking at him with concern from the table.

Qui-Gon opened his mouth, but he could not speak. He looked wordlessly at Obi-wan who was frowning at him with similar concern. Words just would not come and as his emotions crashed around him. He could not bare to look at, let alone see Travis Deru, he turned his face away, struggling to draw in deep breaths, to find some sort of control.

'Qui-Gon, what's wrong?' Obi-wan's soft voice beckoned him, but he could not turn, for if he did, he knew he would see Obi-wan standing beside his lover, beside Knight Deru who was being questioned by the council, who could be dabbling in the dark side, who might betray Obi-wan. "As Xanatos betrayed you." His mind whispered. His breath hitched as a tear escaped.

'Qui-Gon.' Teracel was suddenly standing beside him, arm around his shoulders as he gently took the rattling tray away from his nerveless fingers. 'Tell me what's wrong.'

Teracel rubbed his back gently as he asked. Qui-Gon clung onto Teracel as he buried his face against his neck. Holding onto the man he saw more as a brother then as a friend.

'If Knight Deru has hurt or does hurt Obi-wan in any way. I am not going to hold myself responsible for my actions.' Qui-Gon breathed out shakily. Trembling so hard, his knees knocked and he almost fell, except Teracel managed to grab him and hold him up as he tried to pull himself together.

'I'll do my best to make sure that isn't going to happen Qui.' Teracel soothed.

'I don't want some one as loving and with such much potential as Obi-wan to know the same kind of betrayal I knew at his young age.' Qui-Gon continued to grip onto his long time friend.

'I don't want it either Qui. I know how close Xanatos came to destroying your goodness, your soul.' Teracel whispered gently. Qui-Gon closed his eyes, Teracel couldn't prevent it, and neither could he.

'Get me away from here. I don't think I can stand seeing Obi-wan with him.' Qui-Gon pleaded.

'All right Qui-Gon, just hold onto me.' Teracel turned to address Knight Deru and Obi-wan.

'I'm going to take him to his quarters.'

'Do you want help?' He heard Obi-wan ask with concern and even a hint of worry.

'No, no, I think he just needs some time alone.' Teracel quickly disagreed. Moving him gently away.

Qui-Gon let himself be taken back to his quarters and have Teracel sit him down on the couch.

'Are you all right?' Teracel sat next to him.

Qui-Gon nodded. 'Thank you.'

'You know Obi-wan don't you, that is why you reacted so strongly?' Teracel asked.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and nodded. 'I first met him a month and a half ago. Found him in the main gardens crying because his boyfriend Knight Deru had gone missing during his mission. He comes by every now and again, wanting to talk to me.' Qui-Gon sighed.

'You like him, don't you?' Teracel pressed. Qui-Gon looked away a moment, then nodded.

'More then I probably should.' He said softly. Teracel's arm went around his shoulders and held him a moment.

'There is no such thing as liking someone more then you should.' Teracel told him with gentle firmness.

'There is when they love someone else and when that someone else could be dabbling in the dark side.' Qui-Gon shook his head. Teracel sat closer.

'Qui-Gon? Do you think, had Obi-wan being single, you would have made a move on him by now?' He asked carefully.

Qui-Gon paused, but had to nod. He heard Teracel sigh.

'Poor Qui, you've never had the greatest luck when it has come to relationships. Does Obi-wan know about Ruben, or any of your other past loves?'

'He knows what happened to Sam, I have said a few things about Ruben, but I don't think he knows Reuben is dead. I can't bring myself to talk about it.' Qui-Gon admitted softly.

'Will you let me tell him.' Teracel prodded. 'If you want?' Qui-Gon paused a moment, then nodded slowly.

'Thanks Teracel.'

'Go mediate awhile and get yourself some food and sleep. I'll be around later alright?'

'Sure Ter.'

Teracel patted his knee and rose to his feet. 'Take care Qui.'

'You too.' Qui-Gon waited until the door closed behind him before collapsing into tears.

'Who knew Master Jinn was such a mental case.' Obi-wan dimly heard Travis say. He turned his head to defend the Master who was his friend, before his mind caught up with his ears.

'Master Jinn?' He asked dumbfounded, as his mind rushed to process the fact that Qui-Gon was Master Jinn, or that at least his lover thought so.

'Yes, The Great Master Qui-Gon Jinn, what a fake.' Travis snorted.

Obi-wan's eyes widened as sudden realization came to him, why hadn't he put two and two together? He'd often heard of the Great Master Qui-Gon Jinn, yet when he heard that the Masters name was Qui-Gon, he never thought much about it.

He looked toward where the Master had being led away to, mind going through every piece of rumor he had ever heard about the famous Master. His mouth dropped down slightly in horror as he remembered the rumor about this mans former apprentice.

'Oh force I am such a fool. Damn it. No wonder Qui-Gon looked so damn shaken. This is my fault. Idiot.' Obi-wan slapped a hand on his forehead.

'What are you going on about?' Travis frowned at him.

'I asked him what it was like to have an apprentice, force damn it. I asked Him!

Of course as a Master he has to encourage a knight the idea of taking on an apprentice. Despite what happened to his own.

'Force Travis, he told me his former padawan was like a son to him. Can you imagine what it must of being like, what it felt like to be betrayed to such a scale.' Obi-wan bit his lips as smarting moisture gathered in his eyes.

He couldn't bare to think what the Master must think of him, for forcing him to remember that, whether Obi-wan had done so knowingly or not.

'That story about an apprentice turning to the dark side is nothing more then a wild rumor.' Travis dismissed. Obi-wan could only shake his head. There was no other reason why Qui-Gon had behaved in such a strange way. It explained the Masters odd behavior, and Obi-wan could not forgive himself for being so heartlessly cruel by bringing forth those memories in Qui-Gon, even if at the time he didn't realize what he was doing.

'Master Jinn is an old crack pot, maybe he caused his apprentice to turn.' Travis added, eyes flinty. Obi-wan frowned.

'If he had done such a thing, then he wouldn't be a Jedi.'

'No loss there, from what I hear, the council has being trying to be rid of him for years. Maybe that is the reason why.' Obi-wan bit his lip. He knew at this point, it would be pointless to argue with his lover. When Travis got in this mood, there would be no swaying his mind now. Obi-wan just shook his head, maybe later he could get Travis to see things his way.

'Believe what you want Travis.' He said reluctantly, though he felt he should stand up for his friend. Travis turned his brown gaze fully onto him. Obi-wan could feel himself melting under that gaze, he really did love Travis. Already the desire in him was building as those warm brown eyes roamed him over. His mind could sense Travis's thoughts, so warm, tender even. Full of desire, affection, concern and lust.

'Am I being stubborn again?' Travis smiled That Smile. Obi-wan surrendered into those brown eyes.

'Maybe just a little.' He smiled in return. An uncertain flicker appeared in Travis's expression.

'You still love me don't you?'

'Of course I do.' Obi-wan pooled himself into Travis lap, wrapping his arms about the others neck.

'You forgive me?' Travis whispered.

'Completely.' Obi-wan murmured.

'Show me how much.' Obi-wan sighed as Travis kissed his neck.

'Isn't this a little public?' Obi-wan smiled.

'Shall we go to our quarters then?' Travis suggested.

Obi-wan rose to his feet and offered his hand, turning toward the exist, stilling as his eyes fixed on the Master who'd helped Qui-Gon leave. Qui-Gon who had being shaking so hard, his knees were buckling. Obi-wan immediately felt all the desire leave him in a rush, he quickly forgot Travis and left him to approach the strange Master.

'Qui-Gon? Is he all right?' Obi-wan pleaded to know.

The Master gave a nod.

'He hasn't had a easy time of it lately.'

'And I made it worst for him.' Obi-wan berated himself.

The Master looked surprised. 'Why do you think that?'

'I asked him what it was like having an apprentice.' Obi-wan looked down, feeling guilty and heart sick. A hand touched his shoulder.

'It probably didn't help, but didn't make it any worst. Qui-Gon has had a rough time of it lately. ' The strange Master said sadly. 'Honesty Qui-Gon hasn't being truly himself since Ruben died.' Obi-Wan sucked in a breath and looked up, eyes wide and startled.

'Dead?' He felt his heart sink further. The gentle Master was grieving for Ruben? And he had the gall to go as far as even flirt with Qui-Gon? How it must of hurt Qui-Gon to offer help, support and guidance to him, even though his own lover was gone, dead. With a sudden new suspicion, he looked the strange Master in the eye.

'Ruben never returned from a mission did he?' He asked, eyes tearing at the thought.

To think Qui-Gon could be so comforting and keep him positive and hopeful about Travis's return even though his own lover had died on mission.

The Master gave a slight nod.

'Ruben disappeared about eight months ago. Even though Qui-Gon felt his death, he did not truly believe Ruben was gone until the body was uncovered six months ago.'

'Oh Force.' Obi-wan wiped at his smarting eyes. 'I've being such an idiot. I should have known, he gave off hints, I just didn't realize.' He sniffled, trying to pull himself together.

'Of course not, Qui-Gon didn't tell you, he is still learning to accept it himself. He tends to prefer others not to know about his failed relationships.'

'Samson, his former apprentice and now Ruben.' Obi-wan shook his head with a sigh.

'Qui-Gon has lost more then that young knight. More than any one man deserves to loose and I can't think of anyone who deserves it less then Qui-Gon.' Obi-wan looked up at the knight surprised.

'Will you tell me?' He asked hopefully.

The Master sighed. 'It's not really my place to say. Qui-Gon decided it was time for you to know about Ruben, but he can not bare to speak of it himself, so he asked me. I have known him a great many years. We grew up like brothers more then friends. I've seen Qui-Gon at his highest and lowest points of life. I don't wish to see him know any more anguish.' Obi-wan nodded and sighed.

'I must have caused him so much pain.' He murmured.

'I think he enjoyed your companionship and having someone who could understand what he is going through to some degree. He is alone far too much, with only Rex to comfort him and liven up his days. Too few of his friends stay at the temple for any length of time.

He is better now and I think no small part of it is because of you.'

'Me? But I haven't done anything?' Obi-wan shook his head.

'What ever you've done has helped. Do not ever believe otherwise. All I'm asking to keep going around and talking to him every now and again. Will you do that, when you can?'

'Of course, anything to help.' Obi-wan nodded.

'Thank you, it means a lot.' With that the strange Master left. Obi-wan watched him go, vowing to give Qui-Gon what help and support he could.

Two days later Qui-Gon sat pushing food around his plate without any appetite, true fully he hadn't eaten well in the last couple days. His mind thinking constantly of Obi-wan, worried about him, hoping like hell that Knight Deru was not tampering with the dark side and it only turns out to be a suspecting, not an actual truth. Because nothing was worst then someone turning to the dark side. Especially someone you loved, and you thought loved you. Xanatos had being like a son, and he could never forgive him for what he turned out to be in truth. A Dark Jedi. One who had used him, betrayed him and torn his heart to shreds. An already tender, wounded heart. Qui-Gon sighed. Some how the deceptions of Carl paled next to Xanatos, but his ex-lover had betrayed his heart as well, only a few months before Xanatos.

He heard a his doorbell and stayed seated on the couch patting Rex, he wasn't in any mood to talk to anyone.

'Qui-Gon?' It was muffled by the door, but he could still tell it was Obi-wan's voice.

Qui-Gon sighed and reluctantly went and opened it. Then wished he hadn't for he was swept up by desire as the young, and quite beautiful knight smiled at him. Misty green eyes looking at him questioningly and the reddish blond hair was vibrant and alive, glowing a brilliant red, as the setting sun brought out the brilliancy of the Knight's features.

There were plenty of them to be brought out.

'Did you want something?' He managed to say without sounding too tongue tied. The

Knight shifted slightly.

'Travis has gone on his next assignment, the council says if he does this one well, he'd be able to take a padawan at last. Travis seems quite happy he's getting real work for a change. I must admit to feeling a little nervous. I want him to do well for his sake, but I also want him to come back in one piece, unscathed, preferably on time. Regardless of whether he did well or not.' Qui-Gon quickly stepped back and let the knight in.

Fear thudding in the back of his chest. He knew immediately that the council had sent Padawan Deru on the Sef'pilom mission. Teracel was probably one of the Masters who would be constantly watching the knight, both mentally and physically. To the point of actually spying, reading his mail, his mind, tapping into his personal account and reading his files among other things.

'Come in please.' Qui-Gon motioned the Knight inside.

'I came to see how you were as well.' Obi-wan looked at him with concern once he was inside. Hand moving to stroke Rex's head unconsciously. Qui-Gon sighed.

'I am sorry about leaving you so suddenly the other day.'

Obi-wan grasped his arm.

'Don't be please. The other Master told me about Ruben.'

Qui-Gon looked down. 'You must hate me.'

'No! I think it took a lot of courage to help me deal with Travis's disappearance, even though you are grieving over Ruben.' Obi-wan said softly with conviction. Qui-Gon looked at him with slight disbelief. 'Doing that must have cost you some pain. And I, I feel some blame for causing that in you.' This time it was Obi-wan who looked down.

'No, never think that. I choose to help. If I can't have my love, then at least give me the power to help someone like you keep yours.' Qui-Gon pleaded, eyes tearing slightly as he roughly hugged the knight, feeling the stir of arousal in spite of himself.

'Thank you.' Obi-wan whispered in his ear. Qui-Gon hastily let go savoring the soft hushed accent that breathed into his ear.

'Come sit down.' Qui-Gon guided the knight to his couch. 'Would you like anything?'

Obi-wan shook his head.

'No, I've eaten already.'

Qui-Gon nodded and sat down on the couch. 'What do you wish to talk about? Are you having relationship trouble?'

'No, this time I came to talk about your problems. Tell me Qui-Gon, how Ruben died? Please?' Obi-wan pleaded softly. Qui-Gon swallowed roughly.

'He was sent to a planet called Ilsoper. Ruben specialized in history and ancient traditions of various cultures, including the history of the Jedi.' Qui-Gon paused as his voice threatened to chock up as memories of Ruben came forward. He remembered the day it happened so clearly. He'd being so happy, secure in the knowledge his love would be back. It had being a bright day, he'd spent the morning playing with children, wondering for only a few moments, what it might be like to have a padawan like Ruben's.

He shifted to one side slightly as he felt Obi-wan come and sit next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder offering wordless support. 'Ilsoper has an old ruin belonging to a lost tribe that not many know a great deal about. He was sent to check it out and see what he could discover. With him went a group of archeologist to help him extract any findings. It was a nothing more then a stupid accident by one of the helping archeologist.'

Qui-Gon sighed. 'Ruben was crushed by a falling pillar. He never was very attuned to the living force, focusing mostly on the past then anything happening in the moment.' His voice trembled slightly. 'It cost him his life. Feeling Samson's death was one thing, I was only thirteen, and while the depth of our bond was the deepest next to the one with my Master, a strong bond between two couples is not possible for any one as young as us. But the bond I had with Ruben was much, much deeper. I felt everything.' Qui-Gon felt the shudder run through him.

He still remembered, the feeling of great weight falling, the blood, the crack of bones, the sound it made as the pillar struck, the loud sound of stone tumbling from a great height. Ruben's cries of pain, the panic and fear.

The hand on his shoulder tightened slightly, a thumb circled soothing and Qui-Gon gathered his strength to keep going. 'It wasn't just Ruben, but the toppling of the pillar caused the whole structure to collapse, killing the entire team of archeologists as well. The toppling of the pillar didn't directly kill him, but when the whole structure fell, he was trapped and hopeless as he was struck by a falling stone on the skull.'

Qui-Gon gritted his teeth as his body quavered with enough force to make them chatter. 'Died instantly, I get so angry with that stupid archeologist sometimes. There was a time when I wanted that moron to still be alive so I could kill him myself.' He bit out, trembling violently.

'You still want that don't you?' Obi-wan asked softly. Qui-Gon let go of the resident anger and sighed as he calmed his emotions.

'No, I met with his grieving family after Ruben's funeral. After meeting them I could no longer feel angry, only sad that his children no longer had a father and his wife no husband to love them. It was just a mistake and he was loved and will be missed by his family. I can hold nothing against him.'

'Oh Qui-Gon.' Obi-wan pulled him into those warm, muscled arms. Qui-Gon could only hold on as tears flooded down his face. He held onto the knight as his full measure of grief hit him and he sobbed out his tears. Until there was no more tears to cry and he whispered one last goodbye to Ruben.

'I miss you so much, my love.' Resting his head against Obi-wan's shoulder, drawing comfort from the knight he was beginning to fall a little bit in love with.

'It's all right Qui-Gon, I'm here.' Obi-wan gently stroked his back, running fingers through his hair.

Qui-Gon held Obi-wan tightly a few moments longer but finally made himself let go and lean back onto the couch with a sigh.

'Are you all right?' Obi-wan's hand gripped his wrist. Qui-Gon nodded, looking blankly at the painting done of him and his lover for a moment.

'That was painted a week before he left.' He murmured quietly. He felt Obi-wan turn to look at the painting. 'The art teacher, Impeskilly painted it. She left it unsigned because she said it was the subjects that was the important part, not who had painted it.'

'I knew Imp painted, but I had no idea she painted that well.' Obi-wan rose gently to take a closer look, it was a fine piece of work.

'Yes, she started when she was fourteen apparently. I know most of the temple doesn't think much of the diminutive Dormask, but she has a wonderful personality. You find over the years, that people of similar interest come together. I may not be an artist but I do appreciate good art and not very many know this, but Imp is actually a lesbian.'

'What!' Obi-wan whirled to gap at Qui-Gon in surprise. Qui-Gon gave a faint smile, though pain still lingered fresh in his dark eyes.

'Oh yes. She lost a lover once, many years ago and has never found a replacement for her. Imp may not be as old as Yoda but she is older then most Jedi will ever be at two hundred and fifty. It's being well over two hundred years for her since her lover died and yet Imp still remembers her with great fondness. My former Master handed me over to her for counseling after Samson died. She has no formal qualifications but she does has a wealth of personal experience about a great number of things. It is amazing some of the things she has done.'

'She was brought to the temple at the age twenty eight or something wasn't she, to old to be trained but very strong in the force?'

Qui-Gon gave a nod. 'Imp's early life was not an easy one. That is why the younger padawans and initiates who witness horrors or deaths at young ages are generally given over into her hands, or claws to be precise, for counseling. Imp has a natural gift for children and a very strong empathy for those who experience a traumatic circumstances at that younger age.'

'There is a large gap between Samson and Ruben. You were thirteen then, that was about twenty years ago.' Obi-wan said a little hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to know about any more past loves. Qui-Gon nodded sadly.

'In between was Chis and Carl.'

'Did they die too Qui-Gon?' Obi-wan bit his lip in worry. Sadness and compassion looking at him though those green eyes. Qui-Gon drew in a breath.

'Chris died, I was a senior padawan of nineteen, that was when the Rythin flu struck most of the Republic before it was contained. I was lucky enough to be naturally immune. He was so close to his trials.' Qui-Gon shook his head with a soft sigh. 'Carl, he came into my life when Xanatos was about twenty. I did have a number of short relationships between Chris and Carl, but none of them were special in any way. Except for possibly one.'

Qui-Gon's eyes softened slightly as a loving smile appeared over a fond memory. 'Anyway I met Carl while on mission and agree to met up with him at a later date. We dated on and off for maybe a year, I wanted to commit to a more serious relationship. I guess you could say I fell head over hells in love with the man.' Qui-Gon gave a slightly bitter smile.

'You got stung?' Obi-wan asked gently, concern in his eyes. Qui-Gon sighed.

'For awhile everything was perfect and I felt he loved me too, until he arranged a trip to two to Alderaan with me. It started out as the best holiday I'd ever had. But I found out he was sleeping with an other man behind my back. Jedi's are not susceptible to alcohol but I certainly tried my hardest to get drunk that night.' Qui-Gon shock his head with a slightly wry smile.

'You don't seem too unhappy about that.' Obi-wan said carefully.

'That is probably because I broke into the Mermiod living quarters there and ended up drinking alcohol from her Majesty Annalisa's, the Queen of Mermiod's personal stash. Queen Annalisa's second cousin and heir to the throne, Elliose found me.'

'You've seen Mermiods, met one?' Obi-wan looked at him wide eyed. As one of the rarest species of aliens, Mermiods were in danger of extinction. Reduced by a terrible war and by a fast waterborne plague from a few billion to a mere five hundred or so in only about twenty years. Their planet wiped of all living things, they had found sanctuary on Alderaan until there numbers built up again. With the Queen now married and pregnant, Elliose would be named regent, losing her right as the next heir. Though Qui-Gon knew Ellse wouldn't mind the change.

'Quite a few. You can't meet one with out meeting at least half the population. I still keep in regular contact with Elliose. She is a very good friend to have when your in most need of one. She came here to Coruscant after Xanatos turned. I'd never being so thankful of having a true friend staying with me. Jedi's come and go as the council needs them, but Ellse and Imp were there the whole time.' Qui-Gon smiled slightly

Obi-wan nodded, he missed having his friends nearby, all of his close friends were away with their Masters, he had being the first among them to be a knight.

'What about that one between Chris and Carl?' Obi-wan probed. Qui-Gon looked at him a moment. 'You said there was one between that was special, what happened to him, what was his name?' Obi-wan reminded gently.

'I'm not sure, I never learned his name. I don't really know what happened to him either. But the night we had together was certainly one I'm not going to forget.' Qui-Gon said casually.

'A one night fling?' Obi-wan asked curious with a slight smile.

'I've had one night flings Obi-wan, that was more then a one night fling. That was one of the wildest, sexiest, passionate nights I have ever known and when you get to my age, you'd have had some of the experience I've had to know what that is like.' Obi-wan flushed slightly, his high cheeks flushing, desire flaming the mist green eyes.

'Enough about my past love life, you've made my spill all mine. Your turn. You weren't interested in males much until Travis right?'

Obi-wan's flush deepened.

'Well no.'

'Girlfriends then, surely you had one?'

Obi-wan gave a slightly embarrassed nod.

'Two actually.'

'Well tell me about them.' Qui-Gon sat forward on the couch. Obi-wan twisted his hands nervously.

'Travis laughs at the fact I was attracted to women, even though I know he use to be too.'

He hung his head slightly.

Qui-Gon hurriedly clasped Obi-wan's twisting hands still. Cursing himself for forgetting that Travis may be using the dark side. Qui-Gon knew he would have to be careful at this point. Obi-wan could rise in defense of his lover, Qui-Gon knew the knight well enough to know he was loyal and could be quite protective. It touched the very depth of his heart when that protective loyalty was directed at him. But he had the unique opportunity before him to find out if Travis was hurting Obi-wan in some way.

Qui-Gon knew what it was to be betrayed and used by those he loved and he knew just how much he didn't want to admit it until there simply was no way to ignore it any more.

'There is nothing wrong about having any girlfriends Obi-wan.' He said gently. 'Nor is it anything one should be embarrassed about or ashamed to admit. Many homosexuals dated woman before changing and there are a great number of bi-sexual out there too. Even I am susceptible to a woman's charm.' Obi-wan lifted his eyes slightly at that one.

'It looks like it is my turn for just a little bit longer.' Qui-Gon smiled. 'Xanatos had only being my apprentice a couple years when we went on a mission to a place called De'vre. One of the delegates was a woman called Mardice. Very smart, very beautiful. She had a great laugh and a wonderful sense of humor. We became the greatest friends in no time. I liked her a great deal and wasn't ready to be intimate with a man so soon after Chris's death.' Qui-Gon paused.

'What happened? Did anything come of it?' Obi-wan asked. Qui-Gon gave a small smile.

'Actually no, I was interested awhile, but it didn't take me to long to figure out she was as interested in men as I normally am in women. That's about the closest I've ever become to thinking about sex with a women, even then I certainly wasn't looking for anything at all serious.' Obi-wan gave a slight nod then sighed as he prepared himself to reveal his own shorter past.

'My first girlfriend was Cynil. I was about fourteen. We went out a few times together, fumbled a few hesitant kisses.' Obi-wan's face went red. 'Nothing ever really came of it, we just eventually ended up going our separate ways.' Qui-Gon smiled and nodded.

'Who was the other?'

'Janis.' Obi-wan said with a sweet smile on his lips. Qui-Gon caught himself from sighing dreamily at the look in Obi-wan's eyes, it spoke of tender love and honest feelings and emotions for her. Some part of Obi-wan was still in love with her.

'I was nineteen, and I did know a few romances between Cynil and Janis, but nothing much. She was beautiful, caring, sweet. Full of compassion and understanding. In a way you remind me of her.'

Qui-Gon sat back slightly in surprise. 'Me?'

'Well sure, you have her same sense of compassion, understanding and empathy towards others.' Obi-wan shifted nervously, unsure if he'd said too much.

'I'm sure their are some who wouldn't agree with you.' Qui-Gon smiled, 'But enough of that, what happened between you and Janice to break you up.'

'Well we didn't break up as much, but rather she went to the outer rim with her Master and hasn't being back to the temple since.' Obi-wan admitted.

'Ah, so you've never really let go of your feelings for her.' Qui-Gon nodded.

Obi-wan hanged his head in shame. 'Travis thinks it's stupid since I have him now that I still continue to think of her.'

Qui-Gon gripped Obi-wan's hands. 'When you truly care for someone those feelings you felt and feel for them never truly go away. I still love Sam and Chris, I love Ruben and even though both betrayed me, in some ways I still love Carl and Xanatos. A person can hurt you deeply, yet if the feelings for you are true you still carry that with you.'

Obi-wan looked up at him with clear eyes. 'It must of be hard sometimes, having loved both and knowing you were betrayed.'

'Nothing can describe it. The hurt never truly heals or goes away. It still lives, not as bad as before and sometimes you can forget, but it is always there.' Qui-Gon sighed.

Obi-wan just held the Masters hand.

'It's over, neither can hurt you anymore.'

Qui-Gon nodded. 'True, but it hurts all the same. I should have known, done something.'

'No, how could you have known. They made their choices, the wrong choices, but it was their decision.' Obi-wan said soothingly.

'I let them deceive me, have control over me. It never goes one way Obi-wan. It has taken me a long time to acknowledge this truth, but I am as guilty for allowing them to get away with it as they are for doing it.' Obi-wan looked at him a long moment.

'I'm not sure if I can understand.' The knight said softly, brilliant green eyes full of incomprehension. Qui-Gon gave a slight nod and looked away. There wasn't much that could be said after that.

END PART 2

Want More? Too bad, you're just going to have to wait for it. Ha! Ha! Ha! Evil laugh :) Not to worry, number three is typed and just needs tiding up.