The Tale of the Jedi Who Bonded

by RavenD (ravendreams@earthlink.net)

In response to Emu's challenge.

In old Jedi legends that all Jedi know,
A Jedi supposedly lived long ago.
They called him the Jedi Who Bonded I'm told
And if he were here, he'd be older than old.

When the Jedi Who Bonded was still very small,
No one could tell he was different at all.
'Cept a Master who wandered 'round, lonesome and hot
Who finally chose him and taught him alot.

The Jedi Who Bonded grew strong in the Force
And would have been perfectly happy, of course.
Except that he'd fallen, quite hard and quite fast
For his very own master, who had a nice ass.

He summoned his courage; he gulped down a beer.
He walked up to his loved one and fought back his fear.
"I love you," he muttered and then turned to shoo.
"Oh good." said his master. "'Cause I love you too."

So that kind Jedi master -- one Qui-Gon by name
Counseled much patience and made a time frame.
"We'll only share kisses, and maybe some petting,
Until you're a knight, then we'll bond, so I'm betting."

Now before you inquire, just let me point out,
This was long, long ago, different rules held more clout.
Forming a bond was unlike buying shoes
Where at least you try the pair on, 'fore you choose.

The Jedi Who Bonded worked hard to be knighted.
He studied and pondered, did katas and fight(ed).
Then one day, the eve of his knighting day test
A mission came up. He accepted with zest.

A Jedi in trouble! He'd soon be exalted!
He'd come home to Qui-Gon, they wouldn't be halted!
There would be a bonding, a party, then bed,
Which they'd stay in for hours, letting passion be fed.

He flew into the maelstrom, he spotted the trouble.
His good old friend Bant was trapped inside a bubble.
Her flippers were dried out, her eyelids were sticky,
Her heartbeat was weak and the rescue was tricky.

The Jedi Who Bonded yanked her into the ship.
Her lifesigns were fading, she started to slip.
The young Jedi panicked, the Council would scream!
He fumbled the ball! He let down the team!

His pride or his master -- he thought for a sec.
Then he heard the Force whisper and said "What the heck!"
His master was old and his career was quite new.
So he bonded with Bant --a lifebond, strong and true.

Landing at the Temple, with Bant strong and whole,
The Jedi Who Bonded ached deep in his soul.
He spoke to his master, who grew silent and stern.
"At least," the man said, "you managed not to turn."

The master was broken, so tired and sad.
They had one final mission, the one that went bad.
The Jedi Who Bonded knew guilt and knew pain.
He also knew Anakin, but that's another refrain.

What's the moral? you ask, with your eyes wide and bright.
It's quite simple, my darlings, this will make it all right.
When given the choice to sample the goods
Of a sweet, sexy lover, hell, head for the woods!

Take him and squeeze him and have some good sex.
And always remember, much better an ex
Than a 'maybe', a 'could be', a 'we just didn't try,'
'Cause your lover may choose to give fish-girl a try.

Now off to bed, lovelies, and dream happy dreams
Where true love is forever and all that it seems.
If you can, think of Obi, and then if you can't,
Just remember, my darlings, he got to fuck Bant.

The End