Disclaimer: George Lucas created the charcters from TPM, some
guys from Btitain created Monty Python. Both make lots of money
from their creations, while I still have student loans to pay
off!
Note: This little story was inspired by Kaiburr's series of
TPM/MP cross-over stories titled "_And now for something
completely different ... parts A-D_". He/she had this
cross-over idea first, I just happened to note that this
particular scene wasn't done by him/her yet. No infringement on
his/her little series in intended! In fact, it would be
interesting to see his/her version of it...
Feedback: YES, please to bogart_and_lily@yahoo.com
King Arthur and his merry men were on their quest for the Holy
Hyperdrive Module. They were just crossing through a Wood on
Naboo when suddenly a group of men in dark robes blocked their
way.
King Arthur: "I am King Arthur, king of the Brits! And who
might you be, dear Sirs?"
Qui-Gon: "You are trespassing on our planet! You must pay a
sacrifice for that! For we are the Jedi Knight who say 'May the
Force be with you!'"
King Arthur: "Oh nooo, not those Knights!"
Mace Windu: "Yes, the same! And may the Force be with you!"
(King Arthur and his knights cringe)
King Arthur: "AAARRRG, no, not the knights who say ..."
Obi-Wan: "May the Force be with you!"
Sir Lancelot: "No, please, gentle knights, you can't ... we
need to pass through the planet core to find the Holy
Hyperdrive Module. What kind of sacrifice do you require? We'll
do ANYTHING!"
Master Yoda: "A sacrifice we demand, only then pass through the
planet core you may. The knights we be, say we do The Force
with you may be! "
Obi-Wan: "The Force with you maybe?"
Qui-Gon: "No, Padawan, May the Force be with you!"
Sir Galahad: "AAARRRGGGG!" (rolls on the ground, holds hands to
his ears)
King Arthur: "PLEASE, mighty knights, do not harm us any
further with that dreadful cliche phrase!"
Obi-Wan: "What phrase? May the Force be with you?"
Mace Windu: "May the Force be with you!"
Master Yoda: "The Force with ... eh,
MAY-THE-FORCE-BE-WITH-YOU!" (Sighs I relief to have gotten it
right this time)
King Arthur (Grimaces, moans): "NO, FAIR KNIGHTS..."
(Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon: 'Fair'? I don't think so![looks at Qui-Gon
lustfully])
King Arthur: "A sacrifice! What is it you desire???"
(Jedi huddle together and discuss terms of passage)
Qui-Gon: "For starters, we want some Fuzzy Bunny Slippers!"
Sir Lancelot: "Fuzzy Bunny Slippers?"
Master Yoda: "Yes, Bunny slippers, fuzzy they must be!"
Mace Windu: "Iunno, after a day of battling Sith in these
spiffy, yet stiff field boots our feet are really aching!"
Qui-Gon: "AND you will have to answer our 5 question!"
King Arthur (kneels in front of the Jedi): "I know you knights
to be just ..."
(Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan: Are you just as horny as I am?)
King Arthur:"... and we really need to find the Holy Hyperdrive
Module ..."
Master Yoda: "With holes the module is? Why seek it then you
do?"
Obi-Wan: "No, he means HOLY, not hole-y!"
King Arthur: "... so ask away with your Questions! We are not
afraid!"
Mace Windu: "May the Force be with you then!" //I just always
wanted to say that!//
(All of King Arthur's knights are on their knees now, plainly
in agony!)
Sir Galahad (hands over his ears): "Oh good Lord...!"
Master Yoda: "Lord? A Sith Lord there is? Where?"
Qui-Gon: "No, Master Yoda, he means God!"
Yoda: "HO! Mean I do 'oh!"
King Arthur (begging): "WILL YOU PLEASE GET BLOODY ON WITH
IT???"
Qui-Gon: "Very well, I just hope that the Force..."
(EVERYBODY): AARRGHHRRGGG! We Knoooo-ooooh!!!"
Qui-Gon: "How many Sith does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
King Arthur: "Uh, two? There can be only two Sith at any one
time!"
Qui-Gon: "What is the color of my saber? Light saber that is!"
Obi-Wan (looking at Qui-Gon): "Well, pretty RED When it's fully
extended!" (HEHEHE)
(Qui-Gon throws a dirty look at Obi-Wan)
King Arthur: "Well, since your eyes are blue and the
complimentary color of blue is green, I'd have to say green!"
Mace Windu: "Why the hell is it that as the leader of the Jedi
Council I only have some 20 lines of script in the 'The
Phantom Menace', whereas certain other mavericks get all the
plum scenes?" (Throws dirty look at Qui-Gon who just shrugs)
King Arthur: "See, gracious knight, as Lucas the Creator
foresees it you are an emerging character and will have a large
part in Episode II!"
(Qui-Gon throws dirty look at Mace //And I'll be but a Blue
Ghostie, humph!//)
Obi-wan: "Will I get to shag the Queen of Naboo in Episode II?"
(//So there, Qui-Gon!//)
Sir Lancelot: "You mean like in the classic tale where I get it
on with Queen Guenivere?"
(King Arthur throws dirty look at Lance)
Obi-Wan: "Uh yeah, sorta!"
(King Arthur huddles together with his knights)
King Arthur: "No!"
Master Yoda: "Anakin, played by whom he will in next movie?"
King Arthur (looks at Jedi in despair): "Leonardo DiCapreo?
Josh Harnett? Jonathan Zack Taylor??? [ insert whomever]???"
All Jedi: "Oh Gods, may the Force be with us!"
King Arthur: "But fair knights, there is no answer to that kind
of question? Only the Mighty Lucas will know!"
Mace Windu: "That Lucas, is he a Sith? For I swear with only 20
line to say in Episode I ..."
Sir Lancelot: "No, mighty Jedi, a Sith he is not, just the
Creator!"
Master Yoda: "Well, Arthur king, failed you have the fifth
question!"
Qui-Gon: "For that not only we demand fuzzy bunny slippers,
they must be pink fuzzy bunny slippers!"
Mace Windu: "Yes, pink they must be!"
King Arthur: "Of course!"
Obi-Wan: "And very fuzzy!!"
King Arthur: "Oh yes, as they should be, fair Knights!"
Qui-Gon: "And not too cheap!"
King Arthur: "Of course not! We shall seek to get your slippers
right away!"
Qui-Gon: "Good, then go. And may the Force ..."
Sir Lancelot (drags Kind Arthur away from the Jedi): "Please
stop it! We ARE going!"
(King Arthur and company leave in search of some pink fuzzy
bunny slippers)
Will they succeed in their quest not only to find the Holy
Hyperdrive Module but also those abominable slippers?
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