Summary: Crossover with The Princess Bride and very silly!
Category: Humor Most definitely :D
Feedback: Go for it :) kathy81@worldnet.att.net
A Meadow.......
Any meadow will do A slight breeze blows. The Jedi Master
approaches Bob and Amidala. Said Jedi master is wearing a black
face mask and black satin :D (weg)
ummmm oh yes Back to the Meadow.......
Amidala is tied up and blindfolded.
Bob is holding a dagger to her throat.
"So it is down to you, and it is down to me...." Bob says
"If you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward."
Qui-Gon continues to move forward slowly, stalking like a cat
to his prey {sorry I had to throw that in there :D
"Let me explain..." he holds his hands out in a gesture of
resignation.....
"There is nothing to explain, you are trying to kidnap what I
have rightfully stolen." Bob says, with a faint lisp.
Qui-Gon continues forward........
"Perhaps, an arrangement can be made."
"There will be no arrangement." Bob presses the dagger to
Amidala's throat. "And you are killing her....." she tenses Cue
the dramatic music.
"Well, if there can be no arrangement, we are at an impasse."
"I am afraid so....I can't compete with you physically, and you
are no match for my brains."
"You are that smart?" Qui-Gon ask amused.
"Let me put it this way, have ever heard of Exur Kun,
Chancellor Mindra.......Chewbacca?" a pause as the two regard
one another...."Yes.." "Morons." the lisp is back.
"Really?" he asks slyly. "In that case I challenge you to a
Battle of Wits."
"For the Queen?"
a nod and music clip
"To the death?"
a second nod and smug smile music cue again
"I accept" he sheaths the dagger.
"Good, then pour the wine." Qui-Gon approaches the rock where
they are both seated. Dramatic Music swells again{Drool break}
His black satin mask blowing in the breeze.... Hair whisping
out around him. Exuding power and grace......
Uh hmmmmm
oh yes where was I :D
Qui-Gon pulls out a vile, "Inhale this but do not touch" he
hands the vile to Bob. Bob sniffs at the vile.
"I smell nothing." smirk.
"What you do not smell is Iocane Powder, it is odorless,
tasteless and dissolves instantly in liquid. And is among the
more deadly poisons known to man."
Qui-Gon takes both cups, and turns away. He does something and
then turns back, placing the goblets in front of Bob.
"All right where is the poison? The Battle of Wits has begun,
it ends when you decide and we both drink. And find out who is
right, and who is dead." Qui-Gon smiles again. Black mask,
covering his face..... {loving that mask}
"But its so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know
of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison in his
own goblet or his enemies? Now, the clever man would put the
poison in his own goblet, because he would know, only a great
fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool,
so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you
must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted
on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."
"You have made your decision then?"
"Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Alderaan, as everyone
knows. And Alderaan, is entirely peopled with criminals. And
criminals are used to have people not trust them as you are not
trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of
you."
"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
"Wait 'till I get going! Now, where was I?"
"Alderaan."
"Oh yes, Alderaan....and you must have suspected I would known
the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in
front of you ."
"You are just stalling now." Qui-Gon stated.
"You'd like to think that wouldn't you? You have beaten my
battle droids which means you are exceptionally strong. So you
could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your
strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in
front of you. But you have also bested my apprentice, which
means you must have studied, and in studying you would have
learned that man was mortal, so you would have put the poison
as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose
the wine in front of me."
"You are trying to trick me into giving away something. It
won't work."
"It has worked! You've given everything way! I know where the
poison is!"
"Then make your choice." Qui-Gon states simply. Annoyance for
this man going up with every passing moment.
"I will and I choose What in the world could that be!"
"What.......where?" Qui-Gon looks away, and Bob switches the
goblets. Qui-Gon turns back to face Bob and Amidala again. "I
don't see anything."
"oohhh I couldn't have sworn I saw something, no matter......"
"What's so funny?"
"I'll tell you in a min. But first let's drink. Me from my
glass and you from yours."
Bob picks up his goblet and Qui-Gon picks up his, they both
take a sip.
"You guessed wrong."
"You only think I guessed wrong, that's what so funny! I
switched the goblets when your back was turned. haha you fool!
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous
is never get involved in a sex-a-thon at the Jedi Temple, but
only slightly less known is this: Never go in against a Sith
Lord When Death is on the line HAHAHA AHHAAH AHHHHHA " Suddenly
Bob freezes evil open mouthed grin on his face still, and falls
over to the left.
Qui-Gon sits passively through the whole rant, and when Bob
falls over he stands and moves towards Amidala. Removing her
blind fold, she asks, "Who are you?'
"I am noone to be trifled with. That is all you ever need
know."
"To think all that time, it was your cup that was poisoned."
"They both were. I have spent the last several years building
up an immunity to Iocane powder.
A few moment later, Obi-Wan Kenobi shows up where they all sat
moments before.
"Iocane. I bet my life on it. The Queen was alive, or at least
she was an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her. I
will be quite put out."
He mounts his horse and they all ride away following the trail
of Qui-Gon and Amidala.
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