Master Apprentice
Archive
Inquiring Minds
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Archive: If MA wants it, go for it
Category: Humor
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: S for Silly
Summary: Even the Jedi can't escape gossip
Author's Notes: Unbeta'd. I blame this on lack of sleep and a slow cashier at the grocery store causing my attention to wander.
"Know why you're here, do you?"
Qui-Gon glanced at the council, his gaze drifting from one stern face to another. "No, my master," he said, turning his attention back to Yoda. "Was there a problem with our last mission?"
"Problem there is," he said, banging his gimmer stick on the floor. "Discretion you have not."
The ancient council member picked up something from beside his chair and tossed it to the Master and Padawan standing before him. Qui-Gon caught it, instantly recognizing the item as a copy of the Coruscant Inquirer. It was a cheap tabloid paper usually filled with unbelievable stories about people claiming to be impregnated by a Sith or gossip about holovid actors. Obi-Wan looked over his Master's shoulder as the paper was turned over and a soft gasp escaped his lips. On the cover was a picture of heand Qui-Gon, mouths open and tongues battling, their faces flush with excitement. Next to it was the headline "The Jedi are Gay! Former initiate tells all!" Down in the corner he saw a smaller photo of Bruck Chun in his Agri-Corps uniform, a caption underneath that read "I was kicked out for being straight." Qui-Gon flipped to the middle of the magazine to find a two-page spread, complete with a dozen holopics of he and his Padawan on their last mission to Bandomeer. They'd found a nice spot in an abandoned mine and thought it was private enough to have some fun. Obi-Wan groaned and turned away from the many images of he and his Master in various states of undress. "The whole galaxy gets this rag!"
"Yes they do," Mace said, his features twisted in annoyance. "And the two of you are going to think up an excuse that will be acceptable to the rest of the Galaxy. We'll not have the Jedi become one big gay joke just because you two don't know the value of privacy."
"Of course Master Windu. We'll get started right away." Qui-Gon bowed to the council and dragged his mortified apprentice from the room.
Yoda picked up another copy of the paper from his stack on the floor. He looked at the cover, his ears drooping as he reread the headlines. Shaking his head solemnly he said, "Sent to Agri-Corps for being straight, Chun was not. Gave bad head he did."