Summary: Obi-Wan falls suddenly ill, Qui-Gon is faced with
losing the young boy.
Feedback: again, thank you to those who have replied to the two
previous stories in this series! I'm very grateful for your
support.
Notes: This ain't your run of the mill little kid story *g*
wee-sa got some pretty heavy Qui-Gon angst coming your way in
this story! (i think anyway)
Disclaimer: Um, I won them playing sabbacc? Didn't think so.
Dang it. Okay, great George, they are yours. But can I just
keep little Obi-Wan? Please? Mee-sa maka no monies.
Thank you: holly as always *g* as usual, cheering in all the
right places, and knocking some sense into me when the
situation merited it *l* and, for continuing to forward my
stories while I can't :-) chocolate covered Jedi to you *g*
Qui-Gon Jinn sighed inaudibly and fought the urge to rub his
eyes. He was on the far side of Coruscant, attending to the
visiting Erian Ambassador. The Ambassador was determined to
endlessly debate trading rights between his world and their
nearest neighbor, Venra.
He was greatly relieved when his presence was no longer needed
and he was able to return to the Jedi Temple. Something felt
not quite right, although he was at a loss to explain what.
The transport back to the Jedi Temple took several hours, and
Qui-Gon made the most of his time in meditation. He sought to
find the reason for his sudden unease, but the answer artfully
eluded him.
Stepping off the transport at the Temple, Qui-Gon wanted
nothing more than a hot meal and his bed. He considered taking
the meal in his quarters, but discarded the idea quickly. A
glance at a chrono revealed it to be the dining hour for the
youngest students.
Walking toward the dining area, he found himself looking
forward to the meal, as he often did since that first meal with
Obi-Wan. No matter how weary he was, sharing a meal with the
child always lightened his spirit.
He had just walked into the dining room and glanced around for
Obi-Wan when he realized he didn't feel the normal tug at the
corner of his mind. Suddenly alert to the absence, his gaze
traveled across the group of students Obi-Wan was assigned to -
only the young trainee was absent.
The unease he had felt before again caught his heart, and he
reached out with the Force to try and locate the boy. Before he
had the chance, however, he felt a hand on his arm.
"Master Qui-Gon," the young Master who taught the children
said.
Qui-Gon felt a stab of impatience at being interrupted, but
calmed when he saw who it was. "Yes, Master Kohn?"
She smiled softly, and nodded her head toward the door. "I must
speak with you."
"But what of the children?" he asked, still searching the small
faces for the one he sought.
Nodding, Kohn replied, "Padawan Jonis is watching them. Please,
come with me."
With a curt nod, Qui-Gon allowed himself to be led from the
room. Once outside of the dining hall, he again turned to the
petite Master. "What has happened?"
"You've felt something," she said, trying to gauge his
reaction. "Although my guess is you didn't know what."
After a moment's indecision, Qui-Gon nodded. "Why is Obi-Wan
not with the other children?"
Closing her eyes for a moment, the teacher weighed her news
carefully. "He is absent because he is with the healers."
Qui-Gon's eyes widened in surprise, his mind not wanting to
accept what their bond was trying to tell him. "He is ill?" he
managed to ask around his concern.
"I'm afraid so," the teacher said, her own concern clouding her
words.
Qui-Gon nodded, and took a deep breath. "What is it?"
Kohn crossed her arms in front of her, and looked up at the
shaken Jedi. "Querian flu."
What color remained in Qui-Gon's cheeks faded quickly. "How did
he contract that here?"
"One of the new students, a Cerian, carried the unmutated virus
unknowingly. Cerians are naturally resilient to the disease,
where as Obi-Wan, being an Andrian, was naturally susceptible."
Qui-Gon nodded, but felt anything less than certain. "I must
see him."
With a nod, the teacher placed a hand on his arm. "I will take
you to him, but you must be prepared for what you will find."
"I know," Qui-Gon replied, forcing a strength into his voice
that he didn't feel.
The walk to the infirmary stretched out before Qui-Gon, he
fought the urge to run to the small child's side. When they
entered the sterile healers' area, Qui-Gon was overwhelmed by
pain through the bond he shared with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon knew the
infirmary had the ability to contain intense emotions from
flooding those nearby, and now he understood why.
Qui-Gon instinctively fought against the pain he felt, using
the Force to project waves of soothing against the onslaught.
As he rushed through the infirmary, Master Kohn walked beside
him, her presence all but forgotten.
No matter how extreme the pain that tore at his mind, it was
nothing compared to the emotions that ripped through his heart
when he finally found Obi-Wan. The medical bed dwarfed the
child. The bright red marks of fever on his cheeks were the
only color on his pale face.
Covering the distance with only two steps, Qui-Gon had just
reached the boy's side when the healer who had been attending
to Obi-Wan looked at the Jedi.
"Neither of you should be in here," he announced flatly.
Master Kohn shook her head at the healer's statement, her gaze
not leaving Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. "If anything is to save
Obi-Wan, it is him," she said with a gesture at Qui-Gon.
Although she went on to speak at length with the healer,
Qui-Gon tuned out their conversation. Instead, he was focused
entirely on Obi-Wan. The small child looked even smaller, and
the reassuring presence he had grown accustomed to having in
his mind was absent - replaced only with a mindless pain and
emptiness.
Forcing himself to be calm, he reached out and brushed several
sweat-soaked strands of hair from the child's forehead. The
heat that radiated from the ashen skin felt as if it might burn
his fingers.
"Obi-Wan?" he whispered, knowing the boy would not hear him, as
he continued to brush Obi-Wan's hair gently.
A few moments later, Qui-Gon absently noted a movement to his
left and turned to see Master Kohn place a chair beside him. "I
thought you might be needing this," she explained with a
sympathetic glance.
"Thank you," he replied with a nod. The elder Jedi could feel
the concern that the teacher felt for her student, and forced a
weak smile. "He's strong."
Kohn nodded. "Very," she said, looking from Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon.
"You know this better than any of us."
"You know?"
"I knew you had been spending time together," she replied.
"Although I'll admit it was a little while before I put
together exactly why."
Qui-Gon couldn't help the wistful smile that formed on his
features. "It was quite unexpected, I assure you."
"These things usually are." Turning around, she found a small
bowl of water and a cloth. Handing the cloth to Qui-Gon she
said, "Here, this should help with the fever." When he took the
offered cloth, she added, "The physical symptoms we can treat,
it's the mental effects that are harder to fix."
Qui-Gon nodded gravely, remembering a time long before when a
friend had fallen to the same disease. He began carefully
stroking Obi-Wan's flushed cheek with the cool cloth. "I know,"
he replied in a rough whisper a moment later.
Turning his attention back to the other Master, he added, "I
lost someone close to this illness once." The teacher blinked,
surprised by the unexpected offer of insight.
Kohn nodded finally, saying, "We won't lose him, Qui-Gon. We
simply won't let him go."
Qui-Gon returned his attentions completely to Obi-Wan, a curt
nod his only reply to her attempted comfort.
Qui-Gon wasn't sure when Master Kohn left the small room.
Memories of another time rose to the surface in his mind, and
Qui-Gon fought to stay focused on the present, not the past.
Obi-Wan shifted uneasily in his illness-induced slumber,
whimpering softly under his breath as his eyes twitched under
their lids. The Master wrapped the child in a blanket of the
Force. Both an energy of healing and his presence were sent to
Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon knew the most important things to do when trying to
battle Querian flu were to battle the fever that ravaged the
body, and the isolation that ravaged the mind.
Again an image of a friend long gone formed in Qui-Gon's mind,
and he forced the thought away. He swore silently that his past
losses would not dictate Obi-Wan's future.
Something inside Qui-Gon told him it was late in the evening,
but he pushed the information aside. He had long before given
up standing during his vigil, and had dropped into the chair
provided by Kohn. However he kept constant contact with the
suffering boy - both mentally and physically.
Wringing out the cloth, he dipped it in the cool water. Laying
it across Obi-Wan's forehead, he felt the sweat that covered
his own and knew it was a hundred-fold worse for Obi-Wan.
The healers were constantly in and out of the room, but were
careful not to disturb the focused Jedi.
To all who entered the room, Qui-Gon was outwardly a center of
calm and reserve. The constant distraction of reaching out to
the boy kept him from having the time to think about what the
most likely outcome of the illness would be.
The mortality rate for Querian flu was high, very high. This
was because it killed Force sensitives by isolating them within
and in effect smothered them with the Force. Qui-Gon was well
aware of the possibilities, and shook his head against the
thought. Instead, he poured the inner turmoil he felt into
reaching Obi-Wan.
"Rest you must," said a familiar voice, breaking Qui-Gon from
his trance.
Shaking his head, Qui-Gon replied without looking. "I can't. He
needs me to be here."
"Connection he needs. Connection you cannot provide if
collapsed you are as well," Yoda pressed, walking over to
Qui-Gon, his cane tapping on the floor.
"I will be fine," he argued. "I will do what I must to ensure
he is also."
Yoda nodded, looking at Obi-Wan. "Another loss you feel as
well."
Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment. "That has little to do
with Obi-Wan."
"And a great deal with you," Yoda retorted. His gaze moving
from Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon, Yoda thought for a moment. "A bond the
two of you share."
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon replied, not wanting to expend energy he
might need in a pointless debate.
Yoda nodded. "Strong is he for someone so young."
"But ill all the same," Qui-Gon argued. "That is why I cannot
leave."
"Your devotion runs deep, it does." Yoda paused, reaching out
through the Force. "But is it yourself or the boy, for whom
your concern lies?"
Qui-Gon was startled at the question. "Obi-Wan, of course."
Nodding, Yoda agreed, "Yes, but yourself without him you also
lament."
Sighing, Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes, Master."
"Much potential in your bond, I sense," the Master said.
Qui-Gon nodded silently in agreement, as Yoda added, "The boy's
dreams, haunted by the past, they are."
Qui-Gon's eyes widened, he remembered all too clearly what led
him to Obi-Wan in the first place. "My Master, I would take
leave for a short time. If you would stay with Obi-Wan? I can't
leave him alone. The flu . . ."
"Isolation it seeks. Alone he will not be. Go, Master Qui-Gon.
Stay I will."
Qui-Gon nodded, and as soon as Yoda was tending to the child,
he rushed from the room. In his hurry, he nearly overran a
startled medic, and apologized over his shoulder as he rushed
toward the children's sleeping area.
When he returned, only a short time later, Yoda looked up to
see Qui-Gon hurry into the room, a small stuffed wookiee
clutched carefully in his hands.
"A toy you sought?"
Moving past Yoda, Qui-Gon lifted one of Obi-Wan's arms, and
slipped the tattered animal under it. "A connection to his
past, to calm the dreams," he explained to Yoda.
Yoda nodded, "Much pain there."
Qui-Gon nodded, but kept his attention on Obi-Wan. Retrieving
the wet cloth, he again brushed the sandy hair from Obi-Wan's
face. "He will be stronger for it," Qui-Gon noted a few silent
moments later.
"If it does not break him."
Qui-Gon, although focused on touching the bond that he shared
with the child, replied in a strong voice, "It won't."
"So certain are you?"
Qui-Gon fought the surge of relief that hit him when he felt a
faint response from Obi-Wan. Blinking away the emotion, he
continued to try and reach the boy, but replied to Yoda, "Of
this, yes I am."
Yoda closed his eyes for a moment, and nodded. "Perhaps you
should be." With that, he turned and left the room.
Qui-Gon continued unabated, both reaching out to Obi-Wan, and
trying to cool him, late into the night. He spoke to Obi-Wan
both mentally and out loud; all the while, seeking to cool the
still-burning flesh. The healers came into the room with
increasing frequency, tending to the patient. Their looks of
concern grew more grave as the night wore on.
It was very early in the morning, yet long before dawn, when
one of the healers touched Qui-Gon on the shoulder.
"The fever rages, no matter the treatment," the man explained.
"As is the nature of this flu when attacking those attuned to
the Force, it is suffocating his mind."
His face pale, dark smudges beneath his eyes, Qui-Gon cleared
his throat before speaking. "What are you saying, exactly?"
With a long glance at the boy in the bed, the medic looked to
Qui-Gon. "He is suffering greatly, and his condition is
deteriorating quickly. The stage of nightmares has passed. He
will be lucky to survive the day."
Clenching his jaw, Qui-Gon turned his attention back to
Obi-Wan. "He will survive the day. He will survive many more in
fact."
"It is your connection that has grounded him this long, Master
Jedi. If he is to make it, that will be why."
Qui-Gon looked at the flushed features. His eyes were soft as
he took in every detail of the small face. "I will do what I
must," he promised, more to Obi-Wan than the healer.
It was not quite dawn when Qui-Gon abandoned the chair beside
Obi-Wan's bed, and crawled up onto the medical bed. Gently, he
lifted the child into his arms, laying him against his chest
and held him close as he continued the futile efforts to cool
the child.
Qui-Gon knew that at this point, the connection between them
was the most important. If he didn't reach Obi-Wan through the
illness' fog, the effects of the fever would be secondary.
As he held Obi-Wan against his chest, Qui-Gon could feel the
boy's quick, shallow breathing. In contrast to the heat pulsing
from his skin, Obi-Wan was shivering in Qui-Gon's embrace.
Holding the shaking child close, Qui-Gon continued trying to
cool Obi-Wan's exposed flesh with a towel. The original cloth
that Master Kohn had handed him lay on Obi-Wan' forehead.
Half sitting, half laying on the bed, Qui-Gon couldn't help but
recall the night he had first met the boy. As Obi-Wan mumbled
deliriously, Qui-Gon found himself unable to understand how
such a young child should be forced to suffer so greatly.
When Obi-Wan's shaking grew worse, Qui-Gon held onto him
tightly. He could almost hear the rapid beating of Obi-Wan's
heart in the silent room.
Rocking slightly, he lay the damp towel over Obi-Wan's chest,
and brushed his hand through red- gold locks of hair. He closed
his eyes, and pressed his lips to the top of the child's head.
Although he had been reaching out to Obi-Wan silently through
the Force, he felt the need to speak aloud. The Master had
never been one for small talk, and at first discovered he was
at a loss as to what to talk about.
"Have you ever heard of the Runian celebration, Obi-Wan?" he
asked a moment later, knowing he would receive no answer.
Wetting one of the cloths, Qui-Gon pressed it against Obi-Wan's
flushed cheeks. "Probably not, Master Yoda has gone to great
lengths to make sure that no more young Jedi get into that
particular kind of trouble again."
"You see," he said a moment later, "the Runians are a very old
race. During their harvest season, they would hold a great
gathering. When I was a student at the Academy, not much older
than you are now, they held a smaller gathering here on
Coruscant."
He paused when Obi-Wan shifted and moaned softly. "You see,
they hold a contest each season, to see who can eat the most
Trufelan cakes and my friend Bri and I decided to see if we
could win."
"What neither Bri nor I knew was that the cakes contained a
great amount of Trala juice."
He continued to speak, even while his focus was still on
tending to the hurting boy. "We had each eaten several of them
when Master Yoda found us."
"He walked over to us, serious and imposing." He smiled faintly
through his concern, and continued rocking Obi-Wan in his arms.
"Of course, the effect was somewhat lost on two rather
intoxicated eleven year old boys. All we could do was laugh."
His eyes still on Obi-Wan, his voice lowered as he added, "We
weren't laughing for the next few days, however, when we were
given extra lessons for sneaking off like that."
If Obi-Wan had heard any of Qui-Gon's words, he gave no sign. A
crease of concern crossing his forehead, Qui-Gon continued to
press at the bond they shared, as he had almost constantly
since discovering Obi-Wan was ill.
The Jedi Master's heart sank when the connection that had
flickered for a moment faded away. The fever was continuing to
rage within Obi-Wan, even with the steps taken by the healers
to lower it.
Qui-Gon could feel the fog that filled Obi-Wan's mind,
isolating him. The emotions that tore at the child ripped into
Qui-Gon as well. He was scared, he felt alone and forgotten.
Pressing his forehead against the top of Obi-Wan's sweat-soaked
head, he spoke, his voice a rough whisper. "You're not
forgotten, Obi-Wan. I'm here, and I'm not letting you go."
When Obi-Wan again started to mumble under his breath, and
thrash against Qui-Gon's embrace, he held on tighter. "I'm not
losing you, too, little one."
Qui-Gon squeezed his eyes shut, a drew in a deep breath. "I
refuse to fail you the way I failed Bri, Obi-Wan. You're going
to make it."
"I need you to be well, little one," he added a few moments
later in a shaky whisper.
Struggling to reach Obi-Wan through the layers of confusion
that filled his mind, Qui-Gon fought his own demons.
"It was less than a year after we got in so much trouble for
sneaking off that Bri got sick," Qui-Gon said. Although he
didn't understand why, he couldn't stop the words that spilled
forth. "He was my best friend," he explained in a trembling
voice.
Through what connection he still held with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
could feel him starting to slip. Clenching his jaw, he wrapped
Obi-Wan in the Force, refusing to let go.
Moisture burned in his eyes. The stoic Jedi couldn't remember
the last time anything had brought tears to his eyes. Ignoring
the sensation, he focused on their bond and pulling away the
shroud of despair that held Obi-Wan.
//I won't lose you,// he projected through their link. //You've
taught a too serious man how to laugh again - how to open his
heart again.//
Wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan, he sent waves of love and
caring to the boy. He had once thought the feelings to be
forever lost to him, only to be proven wrong by a child.
In his mind, he pictured finding Obi-Wan huddled in the corner
of a maintenance room; holding him through the nightmarish
visions of his family's death. He saw images of their sharing
meals; memories of laughing when he was allowed to see the
world through young eyes.
He shared each of the memories with Obi-Wan, letting him know
that he was neither alone nor forgotten. Rather, that he was
needed and loved.
Qui-Gon was so intent on reaching Obi-Wan, that when he felt a
faint connection he almost missed it. Sitting up straight,
Qui-Gon's eyes widened and he sat very still.
//Obi-Wan?//
For a moment, there was only silence. Qui-Gon had yet to
breathe when he heard a muted //Master Qui-Gon?// echo through
their bond.
Blinking quickly, Qui-Gon pushed back the rush of emotions that
he felt suddenly. //Yes, little one. I'm here, right here.//
Obi-Wan fought against Qui-Gon's arms, his eyes pressed tightly
closed and his cheeks still flushed. //I'm so cold, it's dark
here. I'm all alone.//
//Never alone, little one. I've got you.//
Managing to hold Obi-Wan still, Qui-Gon started swaying
slightly. Rubbing the boy's hair, he repeated, "I'm not going
to let go, Obi-Wan."
Suddenly, Obi-Wan shuddered in his arms, and a surge of emotion
overrode the pain that had filled their bond. Qui-Gon
stiffened, his movements stopping. //Obi-Wan?// he asked.
When Obi-Wan didn't respond, he reached out to him through the
bond. Relief swelled within him when he couldn't sense the
deadly fog. He smiled, knowing even before a healer rushed into
the room, that the child was finally sleeping peacefully.
Even when he had been assured by the healers that Obi-Wan was
safe, and would indeed get better, Qui-Gon remained. He was
content to stay with Obi-Wan and be there when he finally did
awaken.
The events of the previous day had taken their toll, however,
and Qui-Gon was soon fast asleep as well. When one of the
healers came into the room to check on Obi-Wan, she found the
older man sleeping next to the child, his arm around him
protectively.
The next thing that Qui-Gon was aware of was the sensation of
being watched. He wondered for a moment how long he had been
asleep. The memories of Obi-Wan being near death rushed back to
him. Opening his eyes, he tried to figure out where he was.
The sight that greeted him made him smile instantly.
"You're awake," Obi-Wan said in a small voice.
Qui-Gon nodded, and sat up carefully. "I should be saying that
to you. How do you feel, Obi-Wan?" Looking at the boy, he
reached over and touched one of his cheeks, relieved to see the
familiar fever marks were gone.
"Better," he said, a weak smile on his face.
Qui-Gon waited for a few moments before speaking. "I'm glad.
How long have you been sitting here listening to me snore?"
When Obi-Wan giggled softly, and much of the pain on Qui-Gon's
heart lifted at the sound. "Is that what that was? I'd never
heard quite that noise before."
Qui-Gon shook his head at the comment, but smiled anyway. "Yes,
I would say that you're feeling somewhat better."
"Can I ask you something?" Obi-Wan asked a moment later,
looking down at the bed sheets.
Qui-Gon tilted Obi-Wan's chin up with his hand and said, "Of
course, but you have to look at me first."
Obi-Wan smiled, and Qui-Gon knew that he would gladly answer
any number of questions if it meant the child found some of the
happiness he deserved.
"Did Master Yoda hit you with his cane when you got sick from
those cakes?" Obi-Wan asked with humor shining in his eyes.
Qui-Gon buried the urge to laugh, and kept a straight face. His
surprise colored his words when he asked, "You remember that
story?"
"A little bit," the boy replied. "Mostly I remember feeling
scared, and I was lost, all alone." He paused, turning wide
green eyes on Qui-Gon. "But then you were there and I wasn't
quite so alone anymore."
"Come here," Qui-Gon said, holding out his arm. When Obi-Wan
was snuggled into his embrace, he let his chin rest on the top
of Obi-Wan's head. "I couldn't let you be alone, little one,"
he said a moment later.
"I know," Obi-Wan replied softly. He blinked slowly before
saying, "Because of Bri."
Qui-Gon was glad Obi-Wan couldn't see the surprise that showed
on his face. "Because of you, Obi-Wan," he replied earnestly.
"Do you miss him?" Obi-Wan asked in a small voice.
Qui-Gon nodded, "Often."
Obi-Wan turned so that he could look up at Qui-Gon. "You don't
show it."
Shaking his head, Qui-Gon replied, "It was a long time ago,
Obi-Wan. That kind of emotion is something I do not care to
show."
"Talking to you about my family helped me feel better." Wide,
trusting eyes looked at Qui-Gon. "Do you want to talk about
him?"
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and pulled Obi-Wan into a tight hug.
"Thank you, little one. Maybe one day I will tell you about
him, okay?"
The boy nodded, and returned the hug.
Silently, Qui-Gon wondered how such a small child could know so
much, be so willing to ease another's pain in spite of his own.
"Now," Qui-Gon said, pulling back to look down at Obi-Wan, "you
should get some rest before the healers come in here and get me
in trouble."
Grinning, Obi-Wan said, "You're the only Master I know who gets
in trouble."
Qui-Gon laughed and shook his head. "Then I'll have to
introduce you to Master Windu. The only reason he wasn't with
me and Bri at the cake contest was because he was already in
trouble with Master Yoda."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened and he smiled brightly, "Really?" When
Qui-Gon nodded, he added, "Would you tell me about it?"
"Maybe some other time," Qui-Gon replied. "Right now, you need
to rest."
"Do I have to? I'm feeling better, I promise."
Climbing off the bed, Qui-Gon shook his head, "Sorry, but you
have to rest now." Noticing the stuffed wookiee on the floor,
Qui-Gon picked it up. "Here you go."
Obi-Wan looked at the toy, his surprise showing in his eyes.
"How did you know about him?" he asked, looking at Qui-Gon with
something akin to awe.
"I've got my sources," Qui-Gon replied, his humor flickering in
his blue eyes.
"Thank you," he said, laying down and holding the animal close.
Tucking the covers around Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon brushed a lock of
hair away from Obi-Wan's eyes. "You're welcome. Now sleep,
Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan's lower lip stuck out slightly. Around a yawn he asked,
"Be here when I wake up?"
"There's no where else I'd rather be."
End
should we see more of these two particular incarnations of
qui-gon and obi-wan? let me know! ~~ kaly ~~ razrbkr@juno.com
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