Summary: After returning from his mission, Qui-Gon tries to
puzzle out his bond with little Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Feedback: Everyone was great about my previous venture into
this universe, that I'm here again. Does it hold up? Your
feedback determines if I continue with this series :-)
Notes: I have to say a big thanks to all of you who sent such
wonderful feedback to 'Inner Strength' - even all of the sequel
hounds :-) this wouldn't have been written otherwise, so I can
only hope it lives up to its predecessor. So, this is for all
of you!
Disclaimer: Um, I won them playing sabbacc? Didn't think so.
Dang it. Okay, great George, they are yours. But can I just
keep little Obi-Wan? Please? Mee-sa maka no monies.
Thank you again many times over to my beta reader holly - happy
jedi dreams to you if you ever get to sleep! :-)
The sun was just setting over Coruscant when Qui-Gon's
transport landed at the Jedi Temple. He had been away for over
two standard weeks, and was weary from the exhaustive talks in
which he had been involved.
His orders were to report to the Council the following morning,
and so he left the transport hanger, headed directly for his
chambers.
The Jedi Master was not quite halfway there when he neared the
hallway where he had first heard the cries of a young boy with
whom he felt an unexpected bond. Pausing in the hallway, he
tilted his head to the side as if expecting to again hear the
child's distress echoing in his mind.
When he was only met with silence, Qui-Gon turned back toward
his room but stopped. Before the thought had time to completely
form in his mind, he began walking toward the room where he
knew Obi-Wan to be sleeping.
His cloak swirled around his feet as he silently crept through
the dark room. Qui-Gon didn't want to wake any of the young
students, but felt compelled all the same to check on one
particular student.
The Jedi Master found Obi-Wan, sound asleep and thoroughly
tangled in his covers. He spotted a tattered stuffed Wookiee
just peeking out from the corner of the covers, and a smile
tugged at the corners of Qui-Gon's mouth.
Kneeling next to the boy, Qui-Gon felt the unexplainable bond
between them once more. He shook his head, not understanding
the emotions.
He reached out a hand, intending to smooth several strands of
hair away from Obi-Wan's forehead. He froze, however, when the
youth shifted suddenly in his sleep and murmured something
unintelligible. When Obi-Wan was again still, Qui-Gon pushed
the tousled hair from his face.
Suddenly concerned that Obi-Wan's sleep was less peaceful than
it appeared, he brushed against his mind softly. He was
relieved when he felt only calm in the boy's dreams. Unable to
resist, he brushed his hand against the stuffed toy, feeling at
the Force energy that surrounded it.
He recoiled his hand suddenly, momentarily overwhelmed with the
images the toy presented to him. He felt himself a trespasser,
viewing memories of the boy's life. A young woman, years
younger than Qui-Gon, smiling softly and another little boy who
looked remarkably like Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon realized with a start
that the worn animal was the last connection Obi-Wan had with
what he lost. New initiates into the Academy were often allowed
to bring some small remembrance of their life before, even
though they were soon bonded among their peers as a type of
family. He found himself wondering how many others had so
little left of life before.
Qui-Gon stood. He knew he was doing little good sitting beside
the child's bedside. He walked from the room as quietly as he
had entered, and with a wave to the teacher on duty he went to
his quarters.
The following morning, Qui-Gon reported to the Council about
the outcome of his mission and then found himself with nothing
pressing to do. He went to one of the Temple's many gardens,
and dropped into a meditative pose. Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon
sought to puzzle out the sudden connection he felt with
Obi-Wan.
He had done his best to distance himself from it while away,
but since his return the questions again rose in him. Qui-Gon
had never felt particularly drawn to children, much less felt
any sort of bond; even Xanatos had been older when he had taken
notice of him.
After some time, Qui-Gon sighed and stood. No amount of
meditation was answering his plight. For a reason known only to
the Force, he was drawn to the child. He shook his head
absently, walking from the gardens, as it occurred to him that
he should trust the fates in this instance.
It seemed that the Force was indeed playing its hand when
Qui-Gon's path was dead-ended by a long, single-file line of
children. He was standing patiently, his hands folded inside
his cloak, when he felt a familiar stir at the edge of his
mind.
As he focused his attention on the passing children, his eyes
fell on one student in particular. The boy was walking along
behind one of his classmates, with his eyes directed straight
ahead. Qui-Gon felt a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth,
but hid it when Obi-Wan looked up at him.
Wide green eyes turned to meet Qui-Gon's gaze, and he could
easily read the boy's uncertainty. He nodded slightly to the
boy, a hint of humor in his eyes. Qui-Gon fought against
smiling outright when the uncertainty he felt in Obi-Wan
disappeared and the child smiled brightly.
As the procession of children moved forward, Qui-Gon kept his
attention on Obi-Wan. The boy was almost out of sight and
Qui-Gon could only see the back of his head when Obi-Wan looked
over his shoulder and waved shyly.
After the children were clear from the hallway, Qui-Gon began
walking again. He no longer fought the grin that broke on his
lips and shook his head absently. There was something about
that boy, even if he couldn't put his finger on it.
Late in the day, Qui-Gon debated whether to eat dinner in the
main dining area, or to have the meal delivered to his rooms.
With no immediate business to distract him, Qui-Gon walked to
the crowded dining halls.
The large room was used as a central gathering area for Jedi of
all ages - students, Padawans and Masters. The Masters were
afforded a separate area to pick out their food, and so Qui-Gon
was quickly seated at a table next to the wall.
For a time he watched as the many students went about eating
the evening meal. Their laughter echoed off the walls, as was
usually the case in the dining area. The meal was often the
first chance the students had to relax after a day of training
or class.
Qui-Gon turned his attention to his meal, but had been eating
for just a short time when he felt a brush against his mind.
Finishing the bite of Prala root he had been eating, he looked
up to see Obi-Wan standing halfway across the room.
Obi-Wan ducked his gaze, and his cheeks colored slightly at
having been caught staring. When he risked a second glance at
the Jedi Master, Qui-Gon laughed silently, allowing it to show
only in his eyes. He then waved him over to his table. He
couldn't help laughing at the smile that Obi-Wan didn't quite
hide at the unexpected invitation.
When Obi-Wan was sitting across from Qui-Gon, the boy's
excitement had fled, leaving him feeling slightly nervous.
Instead of looking up at Qui-Gon, he focused his attention on
his hands.
"And how have you been, young Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon's quiet voice
asked, causing Obi-Wan to look up at him.
Obi-Wan smiled softly, and said proudly, "I haven't tried to
run away again."
Nodding, Qui-Gon said, "I'm glad to hear that."
Obi-Wan nodded, but again dropped his gaze, not even touching
his food. Qui-Gon lay his eating utensil down on the table, and
reached a hand across to touch Obi-Wan's arm. "Why so shy,
little one?" he asked in a hushed voice that only Obi-Wan could
hear.
The boy shrugged, looking at where Qui-Gon's hand rested on his
arm. "You didn't tell on me." It was a statement in place of a
question.
Qui-Gon shook his head. The complexity of emotion in the boy
astounded him. "There was nothing to tell on you for, Obi-Wan."
When he didn't say anything, Qui-Gon brushed a fallen lock of
hair away from his face. "You were hurting, Obi-Wan."
Large eyes full of certainty looked up at the Jedi Master. "You
made it not hurt so bad," Obi-Wan said in a small voice.
"It wasn't I that healed you, little one," Qui-Gon said with a
genuine smile. He was beginning to realize he smiled more since
finding this boy than he had in a very long time. "That
strength came from you. You just had to find it."
"All I did was cry," Obi-Wan countered, but Qui-Gon saw the
spark in the child's eyes.
Qui-Gon shook his head. "Tears cleanse, Obi-Wan. They can help
you."
"But Master said . . ."
With another shake of his head, Qui-Gon replied. "There is an
exception to every rule, Obi-Wan. Even the teachers know they
cannot show you all of them."
Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon, and the Jedi Master found himself
facing eyes wiser than any five year old should have. "You feel
different."
"Do I?"
Nodding, Obi-Wan continued to look at Qui-Gon, and the Jedi
fought the urge to shift in his seat. It was a rare occasion
that someone could rattle Qui-Gon Jinn, but Obi-Wan was proving
to be a constant source of surprises for the Master.
"It's like I can touch you sometimes, but not really."
Qui-Gon blinked, realizing that Obi-Wan was feeling the same
hint of a bond that he felt each time the boy was near. "What
of your teachers, or your classmates?" he asked carefully,
curious if the bond he felt had more to do with Obi-Wan
himself, than the two of them.
"Just you," Obi-Wan replied shaking his head. When Qui-Gon
didn't reply, Obi-Wan looked at him, his nervousness returning.
"Is it something wrong?"
Qui-Gon shook himself from his thoughts, and smiled at the
boy's concern for the Jedi Master before himself. "No, little
one. It's not wrong. It is just very unique."
"Unique?" Obi-Wan asked.
Qui-Gon hid a laugh behind his hand. For all the maturity that
shown in Obi-Wan, it was easy to forget that he was still just
a little boy. "Special, Obi-Wan. It's something special."
The smile that broke on Obi-Wan's features nearly melted the
older man's heart. "I like that," the child said, boyish
enthusiasm radiating in his voice.
Qui-Gon couldn't help laughing, and when Obi-Wan began laughing
also, his laughter only grew. "Oh you like that do you?"
Obi-Wan thought for a minute, finding himself more and more
confused by the man before him. After a brief moment of
indecision, he nodded his head.
"Well, that's good," Qui-Gon kidded, unused to the way this
child made him feel and act. A moment later, he dead-panned,
"Because I'd hate to think you didn't like me."
Wide eyes with just a glimmer of humor looked directly at him.
"Why wouldn't I like you?"
Qui-Gon shook his head, and muttered under his breath about
children and their unending questions, to which Obi-Wan giggled
helplessly. The usually dispassionate Jedi Master tried to
maintain a straight face, but wasn't able to do so, and his
eyes betrayed his hidden humor.
"Can I ask you another question, Master?" the boy asked, unable
to stop smiling.
Although his tone was serious, Qui-Gon was thrilled to see the
joy on the face of a child who had been suffering so badly. "I
suppose so, little one. I am sure you are full of them."
"When I was upset, and you took care of me . . ." He paused for
a moment, glancing down at his hands before looking back up. ".
. . you never told me your name."
"At the time I was more concerned about you, Obi-Wan."
"I know, I'm sorry," he interrupted Qui-Gon.
Raising a hand, Qui-Gon resumed speaking. "There's nothing to
be sorry for. You're just a little boy, it's allowed."
Obi-Wan's lower lip stuck out, a pout forming on his face. "I'm
not that little."
Again hiding his humor, Qui-Gon shook his head. "Of course not.
Five is quite grown up in some species." He cut his eyes before
adding in a whisper, "Why if you were a Yorian, you'd be an old
man."
Obi-Wan laughed in spite of himself, and looked back up at the
Jedi Master. He thought for a moment before asking, "But what's
a Yorian?"
Qui-Gon smiled, happy to have made the boy laugh again. "It
isn't important, Obi-Wan."
"So?" Obi-Wan asked a moment later.
"So what?"
Smiling, the child pressed, "What's your name? You act like you
don't want to tell me."
Qui-Gon shook his head. It was clear to him that the boy's
talent in the Force was matched equally by his persistence when
he was curious about something. "My name is Qui-Gon Jinn, young
Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan held his hand out across the table and looked at
Qui-Gon expectantly. For a moment Qui-Gon merely looked at his
hand, before taking it in his own.
The boy shook his hand, and released it. With a warm smile, he
explained, "My mom always told me and Corin that you couldn't
really know someone till you were int . . . intra . . ." He
stopped speaking, scrunching his forehead in an attempt to
remember the right word.
Obi-Wan smiled, and Qui-Gon could feel a quick rush of pride in
the boy at being able to teach a Master something.
"Obi-Wan," he said a moment later, "you really should eat some
of your meal." He glanced over at where the rest of the
children Obi-Wan's age were sitting. "Or else your teacher will
be unhappy with me."
"But you're a Master," Obi-Wan argued, as if it made everything
okay.
"Yes, but so is your teacher," Qui-Gon explained. Although he
hid his grin, he failed to hide the amusement in his eyes, and
he knew that Obi-Wan could read it within him just as easily.
Obi-Wan nodded, and took a bite of the bread on his plate. His
mouth still full, he looked to Qui-Gon. "Better?"
Qui-Gon almost dropped his eating utensil, trying in vain not
to maintain the guise of seriousness - and only moderately
succeeded. His humor was thinly disguised in his voice as he
replied, "Obi-Wan, don't talk with your mouth full."
Taking a drink of water, Obi-Wan swallowed the bread and
grinned at Qui-Gon, his green eyes sparkling brightly. "Yes,
Master Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan's amusement at his reaction, and he
shook his head. For a moment he wondered just what he was
getting himself into, but laughed along with Obi-Wan. The Jedi
felt younger than he had in years, and found himself looking
forward to what surprises life with this little one might
bring.
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