Master Apprentice Archive In Light Quick search:

In Light

by Susan Anthony (LdyGossamer@aol.com)

Pairing: X/O eventually

Archive: MA, my site at http://www.geocities.com/area51/keep/8613/artists.html

Category: AU, Angst, Drama, Pre-ObiSlash, Xanatos/Other implied

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None, pays absolutely no attention to canon

Series: Bonds and Vows

Sequel: For the Best, For the Worst, In Darkness

Summary: Recovery and a mission against the Dark begins.

Feedback: Very welcome.

Warnings: M/M relationships. This is a very different AU.

Notes: You may be a bit lost if you haven't read the preceding parts of this series, For the Best, For the Worst, In Darkness, all found on the MA site or my own page.

His master was upset.

Askari knew he should be worried when his master was upset. It was rare that he could tell when Master Billaba was even vaguely disturbed and he wondered if it was his fault. While he didn't exactly remember causing another intergalactic incident, his inadvertent slip-up on Aussist Prime was certainly not something he wished to repeat.

Slowly, he pushed out with his mind, asking his master silently for the cause of her distress. He absently wondered why his mind was so fuzzy; why he couldn't seem to think straight enough to frame his question mentally. This bothered him in an abstract way. He felt as though there was something he couldn't remember, something important.

But his master's response was immediate and calming, her thoughts layering a soothing balm over his steadily increasing uneasiness.

Sleep, Askari, all is well.

He responded with a wordless query about her well being. He felt he should be worried about her.

I am fine, padawan, she calmly sent back. Sleep a little longer. I will be here when you wake up.

The Jedi felt the truth of his master's words and let himself fade back into sleep with a sigh as he felt Depa's mind wrap around his. Nothing could be wrong if his master was with him.

Seated a few feet from the bacta tank, Depa watched her padawan with a worried gaze. Her student had never been an easy patient and given the circumstances of his injuries, she doubted he would sleep for long. Carefully, she sent another soothing wave of comfort to him and hoped he would allow himself to relax enough to heal. The knight he had fought had done some serious damage and while the medics assured her that he would recover, she would not be comfortable until her padawan was out of there.

"He will be fine, Depa," a calm voice said and Depa glanced up as Qui-Gon sat down beside her. His blue gaze held hers for a long moment before her eyes settled again on the silent figure of her former padawan floating quietly in the bacta.

"He will need therapy for that wrist injury," she murmured as she felt another flash of anger towards the knight who had hurt Askari and Obi-Wan.

"Yes but he will recover," Qui-Gon stated again, "and be demanding another mission long before you think he's ready for it."

The former Jedi smiled briefly as she considered her own overprotective nature. It was something she'd had to meditate on constantly as Askari had grown older and able to assist in her more dangerous missions.

Then her expression sobered again as she glanced across the room. For a moment, her eyes lingered on the small form huddled in a bed across the med bay and the tall, dark man who sat quietly beside him. Xanatos hadn't left Obi-Wan's side since he'd come on board.

"How is Obi-Wan?" she asked.

Qui-Gon sighed and leaned back against the wall. "He had some bumps and bruises, nothing to worry over. The problem was the sleep compulsion Porim laid on him. It was much too strong to put on a child." The former Jedi rubbed his chin thoughtfully as his gaze strayed to the figure suspended in bacta. "I was able to reverse it but Obi-Wan will sleep for awhile longer."

Again, the woman felt a harsh flash of anger before she carefully released it to the Force. That Askari had been injured had been bad enough. But that Obi-Wan had been hurt as well just seemed that much worse. Qui-Gon looked at her with an understanding gaze.

"Your injuries were far more severe, Depa," he reminded her gently. "How are you feeling?"

Absently, Depa reached up to touch a still-tender spot on the back of her head. Porim had thrown that rock so hard she hadn't even felt it hit her. By the time she'd awakened on Xanatos' ship, the medic had already applied bacta patches.

"It's nothing, Qui-Gon," she said quietly as she wrapped her hands together in her lap. Her dark eyes moved to her padawan again. "I'm more worried about Askari. I just don't understand why Tradus was so brutal. No Jedi mission would have called for such actions. He was always arrogant and aggressive but he never displayed such vicious tendencies before his trials."

Qui-Gon was silent for a long moment. Finally, in a tone filled with regret he said, "Knight Porim was Darkened, Depa. He was going to kill Askari even though he was no longer a threat to his mission. He was willing to fight Xan because Xanatos kept him from killing Askari..."

"And he was willing to shoot you in the back after you defeated him," Depa finished when Qui-Gon's voice trailed off. She reached over to take one of his hands in a tight grip. "You did what you had to do, Qui-Gon."

The tall man didn't reply though his fingers did squeeze hers for a moment.

"But how could such a thing be missed?" the former Council member asked, her voice growing harsh. "Such darkness doesn't infest a Jedi Knight so quickly. Why didn't anyone see it?" She squeezed his hand as her eyes closed. "Why didn't Mace see it?" she breathed almost to herself.

Qui-Gon glanced down at his companion, his eyes shadowed by possibilities he didn't want to consider. He knew Mace kept his padawans close. Depa was often found in her former master's quarters even after she had been called to take a Council seat. Qui-Gon knew that, if anything, Mace had kept his second padawan on an even tighter leash. So why hadn't the Council Member seen his padawan's darkness?

Perhaps he had, was the thought that ghosted through his mind only to be pushed away. He was not yet ready to think such a thing.

The pair sat for a while longer, lost in their thoughts and silently providing comfort and strength for each other. It was something they had done often during their years together guarding Obi-Wan and now it was almost a meditation between them.

"How is Xanatos dealing with this?" came Depa's faint question. Qui-Gon glanced across the medical bay to the bed where Obi-Wan was still sleeping. Beside him, Xanatos sat holding one of the boy's small hands.

"It will depend on how Obi-Wan reacts when he wakes," Qui-Gon replied. "They were just beginning to make some progress." The man turned back to watch Askari in the bacta tank. "We can only wait and see."

Xanatos held Obi-Wan's hand in a careful grip, his thumb absently moving along the boy's palm as he waited for Obi-Wan to wake up. Qui-Gon had said he was just sleeping and would wake soon; that Porim had just whammied the boy too hard - whammied being Xan's word not Qui-Gon's. His former master assured him firmly that Obi-Wan was all right and despite himself, Xanatos felt the calmer for Qui-Gon's words. The tall Jedi had never been one to lie about the seriousness of a situation. If he said Obi-Wan was going to wake soon, then the boy would. It had only been an hour or so since Qui-Gon had removed the compulsion. Xanatos just had to be patient.

Xan felt his teeth grinding together. He hated being patient. And he hated that Obi-Wan was lying here, so still and quiet. If that bastard Porim was standing beside him, Xanatos didn't think he would even have to consider whether or not to kill him. He'd just slice the knight into tiny pieces.

The former padawan realized he was squeezing Obi-Wan's hand tightly and forced himself to relax. Obi-Wan was here, Askari was here, Qui-Gon was all right, Porim was dead. These were the important things. That and the fact that Xan was never letting the boy out of his eyesight again. Ever. End of story. Well perhaps when he got to be twenty-five or so and able to handle himself, Xan might let Obi-Wan out for short periods of time. Maybe.

Xanatos looked down at the plain little face and then shook his head. Probably not.

With a sigh, the man lay his head down on the bed beside Obi-Wan's shoulder and let his thoughts drift. He was so tired. From the moment he'd heard Obi-Wan screaming his name down the soulbond, Xanatos had been operating on pure adrenaline. Then finding Knight Porim standing over his former lover with a lit saber and Obi-Wan's still form beside them just about blew every fuse in Xan's mind. The only thing he remembered clearly was Qui-Gon's eyes as he commanded Xanatos to go and leave Porim to him. Xanatos shuddered as he remembered the man's implacable will and thanked the Force again that he'd never had to stand against Qui-Gon.

Getting his people off Ulia as well as removing all traces of their presence there had been hectic and once Qui-Gon was on the shuttle, they had blasted off the planet and made straight for the Selian cruiser that Xanatos had made his home since he'd left the Temple. He commed ahead and his medical personnel were waiting for them.

Depa's wound had been easily treated with bacta patches and painkillers. Askari, however, had been tanked immediately. The wounds he'd received were critical and potentially fatal but his Telosian medics were highly skilled and Xan knew if anyone outside the Temple could save his former lover, they could.

Obi-Wan was the last patient to be settled as Xanatos had refused to allow anyone else to carry his precious bondmate. He settled Obi-Wan on a bed in the medical bay and only then allowed Qui-Gon to approach. It hadn't taken the man long to find the reason why Obi-Wan was unconscious. Once found, the compulsion was easy for a master of the Force to disperse and Obi-Wan had immediately relaxed into a natural sleep. Qui-Gon had then assured his former padawan that it wouldn't be too long before he awoke.

So now Xanatos waited. He hated being patient but he could do it. He'd spent years learning how to be patient.

Obi-Wan was frightened. The last thing he remembered was Depa falling and not moving. He remembered someone picking him up and pulling him away from Depa. He remembered that the man's eyes were dark and hateful and he knew the man didn't like him.

Xantoes. The thought was little more than a whimper. He was frightened; he didn't want to open his eyes.

Obi-Wan, it's all right, a voice answered him and then he was surrounded with warmth, comfort and most of all, a sense of belonging. Come back, my little one. You're safe. No one will hurt you again.

Xantoes? he thought warily.

"Yes, Obi," the voice replied and Obi-Wan heard it rather than felt it this time. It was a soft voice and very near. "I'm worried about you. Master and Depa are worried. Please open your eyes and show us you're all right."

The little boy reluctantly opened his eyes and blinked for a moment against the bright light. Then he focused on the face above him and smiled.

"Xantoes." Xanatos returned the smile with one of his own as he stood and reached out to push tendrils of hair from the boy's eyes. "You came."

A flash of searing regret passed briefly over the former padawan's face before he gently squeezed Obi-Wan's hand. "I will always come for you, Obi-Wan. You'll never be taken away from me again."

The child looked at him, his green eyes wondering. "Promise?"

"I promise," Xanatos replied before he gave the boy a half-smile. "Now, how do you feel? Do you hurt anywhere?"

"No, I'm just tired," The little boy said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Then he looked around. "Is Depa okay? That man hurt her!"

"I'm fine, little one," she answered as she moved to stand beside Xanatos. She caressed his cheek even as Qui-Gon came to stand on the other side of the bed. Obi-Wan looked up at her, his expression as solemn as they'd ever seen it.

"It was the Dark Man," he said. "He wanted to get me."

"That is not going to happen, Obi-Wan," Master Jinn said, reaching out to touch the boy's messy hair. "We will never let that happen."

Obi-Wan glanced up at Xanatos with a shy smile. "Xantoes saved me."

The dark-haired man smiled with a rare, open delight before he glanced at the bacta tank. "I did, Obi-Wan - with my friend, Askari's, help," Xanatos said as he stepped aside to let the boy see Askari suspended in bacta. "He was badly hurt helping me save you."

The boy studied the tank for a long moment. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked in a little voice.

"Yes, he'll be fine in a few days," Depa assured him. "He is a very strong young man."

"Good," the boy replied with a nod. Then he looked back up at Depa. "I'm hungry."

"Are you?" she asked with surprise. "You're not hurting anywhere are you?"

"No," Obi-Wan replied, shaking his head. "Xantoes already asked that. I'm just tired. And hungry."

The trio of adults chuckled with delight at the boy's vehemence. Obi-Wan had never asked anything of them, much less demanded it like the hungry little boy he was. Xanatos reached out to pick him up and set him on the floor.

"Would you like to go with me to the Commissary and get some..." he glanced at his wrist chrono, "...dinner? And then, perhaps, you'd like to see my ship?"

"Your ship?" Obi-Wan asked in tones of awe as he grabbed Xanatos' hand. "May we go see the pilot?"

Xanatos smiled before he briefly glanced up at Qui-Gon, an expression of joy on his face that the former Jedi Master hadn't seen since the afternoon when a toddler had accidentally bumped into his destined bondmate three years ago.

"I think that can be arranged, little one," Xanatos said as he walked towards the doors, Obi-Wan hanging tightly to his fingers. "But first we should get something to eat. I can hear your tummy growling from here."

"My tummy isn't growling," the boy protested.

"Well, something is rumbling," his bondmate replied. "What do you suppose it is?"

"I bet it was Master's tummy. He snores really loud too," Obi-Wan pronounced and Xanatos couldn't help the smirk he shot back at his former master just as the infirmary doors slid shut behind them.

The next afternoon

Askari remembered landing hard on the ground, agony searing into his stomach.

He remembered the pain of a crushing weight on his wrist and the scream it tore from his throat as he felt the bones break. He remembered thinking he was going to die as a dark blue saber blade slammed down and then he remembered Xanatos. Beautiful Xanatos, whom he had missed intensely, standing over him with the Force curling around him with streams of dark and light.

"Xan, take the boy and go." He tried to push his friend away, knowing Xan already had Knights' blood on his soul. He didn't need to add Porim's. But Xanatos had just looked at him and then touched his cheek gently before his ice blue eyes narrowed and took on a hard, empty expression as he glanced away at something Askari could not see.

Then he was gone and Askari closed his eyes. The overwhelming pain he was feeling was nothing in comparison to the thought that he had failed his closest friend. Then there were others near him, looking him over, checking his wounds. He heard words but didn't understand. He couldn't help his groan of pain when someone jarred his body as they tried to lift him.

"He's awake?" came an astonished, low voice that faded in and out. "...must be in agony!"

"Here, this will put him out...."

There was a bright, cold sting on his neck and then Askari knew no more...

...Until his eyes snapped open, his body flinched and he lashed out against his confinement as he remembered: Porim, pain, Xanatos and the child. The child!

His hands slammed against the tank again, shooting a jolt of pain up his entire right arm. He sent his mind out frantically looking for his master. Instead, of Depa, however, another voice sank into his thoughts. It was a mental touch comfortingly familiar from the days when Askari and Xanatos were practically inseparable. Master Jinn had joked more than once that he had two padawans instead of one, especially when Master Depa was tied up in Cou ncil or away on missions he couldn't be taken on yet.

Be still, Askari, you will damage your wrist further. Be calm, all is well. The words layered themselves over his waking panic. Your master is well, only sleeping, Obi-Wan is fine, Xanatos is fine.

Askari held himself still, trying to find a measure of calm from the familiar presence in his mind, focusing on the words and trying to release the panic that seemed to bubble up from nowhere. After a few minutes of listening to the calm voice in his mind, Askari opened his eyes and met the calming gaze of Master Jinn just on the other side of the bacta tank.

Master Jinn?

All is well, Askari.

Askari took another deep breath. The purified air coming through the mask over his nose and mouth was cooler than he was used to and suddenly he felt chilled.

Porim? he finally asked, his thoughts hesitant to consider the other knight. Even through the thick liquid he was immersed in, Askari saw the flicker of regret that crossed Master Jinn's face.

He has passed into the Force was the man's answer.

The knight closed his eyes. Did Xanatos...? the question was sent before he thought better of it, though he managed to cut it off before he completed it. But the man standing before him answered the question anyway.

Xanatos didn't kill him, Askari, Qui-Gon replied softly. I did.

The younger Jedi looked at the man before him and reached out to touch the glass that separated them. He caught and held Qui-Gon's blue gaze as he sent his next thought.

You did him a mercy, Master Jinn, Askari sent. He could not have withstood Master Windu's disapproval and disappointment for much longer and I doubt anything he could have done would have brought him favor in his master's eyes.

Qui-Gon stared up at the knight before he stepped closer to the glass. Explain yourself.

Before Askari could even gather his thoughts, however, the door to the medical bay slid open and several med-techs bustled in followed by Xanatos and Obi-Wan, who walked happily beside his bondmate, holding tightly to the man's hand.

"If you wouldn't mind stepping back, Master Jinn, we'll pull him from the tank now," the head med-tech requested as he proceeded to verify several readings on the console set into the tank.

With a last questioning glance at the healing knight, Qui-Gon stepped away from the tank and moved over to stand near the bed where Depa was just waking up. The woman had finally succumbed to sleep an hour ago and the master Jedi watched in amusement as Obi-Wan stood beside her, almost bouncing as he tapped her on the nose.

"Wake up, Depa," he said happily. "Your padwan is getting out of the tank."

The woman easily caught the boy's fingers as she sat up, giving him a mock frown before she kissed his fingertips. "Thank you for waking me Obi-Wan," she said as she turned to watch her former padawan being lifted from the bacta. "How long has he been awake, Qui-Gon?"

"Only a few minutes," the older master said his tone distracted. Depa looked at him curiously but he said nothing further as he watched the techs carefully clean the bacta from the knight's skin and wrap him in a dry tunic. Then they settled him onto a bed and the head med-tech spent the next half-hour examining the knight's injuries and scanning for anything they might have missed.

Finally, the tech walked over to Xanatos and declared that the knight was healing at an amazing rate and they could begin therapy on his wrist whenever the young man wished.

At the word therapy, Askari winced and wearily lifted his right hand to look at it as if it belonged to another person. He flexed his fingers and remembered again the crushing pain as his wrist was shattered. A moment later, however, Depa distracted his memories and carefully wrapped her own fingers around her padawan's hand as she held it to her cheek. Askari smiled as he met his master's gaze.

"My eyes see with joy, Master," he whispered, greeting her as he would one of his own kind and kin.

"My hands touch with happiness, padawan," she replied with a tender smile. "And if you ever do anything that stupid again, I'll get you demoted so far that you'll be taking classes in the crèche again."

Askari chuckled quietly and then winced. "Sorry, Master. Had to. Couldn't let Porim take the boy."

"And I won't ever forget that, Askari," Xanatos said as he stepped up to the other side of the bed. Carefully, he leaned down and tenderly kissed his friend and former lover. "Ask anything of me and I will see it done."

"I can't see," a plaintive little voice said and Xanatos smiled as he picked up Obi-Wan and carefully set him on the bed beside his friend. The boy looked at Xanatos for a moment before he turned to study Askari with an intent, seven-year-old gaze. The Jedi knight would never have guessed there was anything special about the little boy. He seemed rather small for his age and his hair was an indistinct shade of light brown. His eyes, however, those clear green eyes seemed much older than they should have been.

"Xantoes said you saved me from the Dark Man," Obi-Wan finally put forth as he leaned back against his bondmate.

Askari briefly glanced at Xanatos before he returned his attention to the boy beside him. "Well Xantoes saved me from the Dark Man's apprentice so I guess we're even."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened a bit as he looked up and back at Xanatos. "You did?"

"I'm rather fond of him," the former Jedi replied with a shrug.

Obi-Wan turned back to study the knight, his lower lip protruding just a little. "Fonder than you are of me?" he asked quietly.

Xanatos picked up the boy and Obi-Wan's arms hesitantly twined around his neck. "Askari is a very old and dear friend, little one, and I love him very much," Xanatos murmured into his ear. "But you are my Obi-Wan and nothing in the universe comes before you."

"I don't want you to go away again," Obi-Wan sighed. "I want you to stay with me and Master and Depa."

Xanatos glanced up and met Qui-Gon's blue gaze. "Nothing will separate us, Obi-Wan," he said firmly. Obi-Wan just looked at him for a long moment.

"Okay," the boy finally replied as he lay his head on Xanatos' chest. He looked at Askari and then asked, "Can 'skari stay too?" he asked, shortening the knight's name rather oddly.

"That will be entirely up to Askari," Xanatos replied with a serious expression.

"And it is something that will have to be discussed later," Depa decided as she noticed Askari's eyes sliding shut despite his best efforts to remain awake. "Right now, he needs rest to recover his strength."

"Just a few minutes more," the knight protested weakly. "There is a lot I need to tell you."

"That can wait until you've recovered a bit more," Qui-Gon replied gently. "Sleep now. We'll talk more tomorrow."

There was a slight hint of Force suggestion in the older man's words and Askari was asleep almost as soon as he heard the words. Qui-Gon then turned to their host.

"Xan, is there somewhere Depa and I could shower then perhaps sit down for a meal?"

"Of course, Qui-Gon," Xanatos replied. "I've had quarters set aside for each of you. There is also a small galley, away from the crew, where we can gather." He glanced at his former master with a half-smile. "And there is a small room just down the hallway where someone might find enough peace to meditate should they need to."

Qui-Gon gave the younger man a tired smile as he reached out to grip his shoulder. "Thank you, Xanatos."

The two shared a long look before Xanatos glanced away. "If you'll follow me, I'll show you the way." He set Obi-Wan down and grinned at his bondmate. "Or perhaps Obi-Wan would like to show you? He knows where they are."

The boy's eyes lit up. "I can show you, Master," Obi-Wan chirped. "Xantoes showed me and I can show you."

"I should stay with Askari," Depa began until Qui-Gon took her arm and led her away from the bed.

"You need a bit of time to rest yourself, Depa," he said firmly. "Askari will sleep for at least several hours."

The woman gave her padawan a final glance and sighed. "Very well, Qui-Gon," she allowed before she looked at the little boy almost bouncing beside Xanatos. "Obi-Wan, lead the way."

Obi-Wan beamed happily and then dragged Xanatos towards the door. Qui-Gon followed with a thoughtful look at Depa. Obi-Wan had spoken more in the last days than he had almost the entire time he'd been with himself and Depa. The former Jedi had to wonder exactly how strong the link between the two had grown in the short time since Xanatos had joined them. He could only thank the Force that Porim had not driven the boy back into his mind. Rather the opposite seemed to have happened.

But that was something to ponder after he'd had time to eat, rest and meditate. The Force was whispering that he should take advantage of this respite, allowing Askari to heal and giving them all a chance to rest, unworried by hostile pursuit. All too soon, he knew they would be heading back into danger and there would be no peace until the Darkness was defeated.

He could only hope that the Darkness he felt coming would not come in the form of an old and once dear friend.

"Ah, the sleeping beauty awakes."

Askari sent his friend a fuzzy, half-awake glare. "One great-grandmother who pissed off the local force user and slept for a few decades and I never hear the end of it. I don't poke fun at your family history," the knight grumbled as he tried to sit up. Xanatos leaned forward and set an extra pillow behind his friend's back.

"That's because I was never foolish enough to tell you any family history," the dark-haired man chuckled as he settled into a chair beside Askari's bed. "How do you feel?"

"Much better than the last time I woke," the Jedi said as he gingerly stretched. He winced a bit as he twisted his right wrist in an awkward direction. "My wrist still aches though."

Xanatos leaned over to cradle the knight's wrist in his hands, running a fingertip along the fading scars left from shattered bones breaking through the skin. "This will take a bit longer to heal," he murmured. "Though that saber wound was nothing to scoff at." He looked up and met his friend gaze with a somber expression. "You almost died, Askari. My medics didn't think you would make it."

"Xan," Askari began softly as he took his friend's hand but Xanatos just shook his head.

"But I told them you were too stubborn to die. Depa would have kicked your ass the minute she joined the Force if you left before she did."

Askari just smiled at Xanatos and squeezed his hand. The younger man had never easily expressed his feelings. "Thanks, Xan."

"No, thank you, Askari," Xanatos replied, his voice rough. "I don't think I could have taken Obi-Wan's loss a second time."

"I haven't seen you without him since you've been on the ship," Askari noted and Xanatos gave him a half-smile.

"He is sleeping. The last days have exhausted him."

The knight studied his dearest friend with a questioning gaze. "The boy is your bondmate, isn't he?" Xanatos nodded and Askari continued. "Something happened to Obi-Wan that day, that day you...."

"Turned to the Dark. Killed those knights? Yes," Xanatos replied wearily, looking away from Askari's gaze. "They were between me and Obi-Wan. I would have plowed through ten more if I'd thought I could get to him but I knew I couldn't so I ran, all the while planning how to get him back."

"You never said anything about a bond," Askari said, hoping for a mild tone but Xanatos could hear the hurt and he gently tightened his fingers around his friend's.

"It...just happened, Askari. That day, it happened. An instantaneous bond, Master said. He was there when it happened." Xanatos leaned forward a little, catching his friend's dark green gaze. We'd been called back from a mission and were going to see the Council when a pack of initiates came running around a corner. I, of course, was appalled at their lack of discipline." Askari's eyebrows rose at the self-mocking tone and Xanatos chuckled. "I know I was a pompous ass, 'Kari, don't deny it."

"We all had our moments, Xan, but that wasn't all you were," the older man said firmly.

"I said something padawanly pompous about letting initiates run wild in the corridors and naturally Qui-Gon just replied that they were young and we should let them play. I had more to say on the subject but then another initiate came running around the corner."

Suddenly, Xanatos' eyes softened and his expression became dreamy. Even his tone deepened in memory. Askari just watched in amazement. He'd never seen such an expression on his former lover's face. "Obi-Wan was trying his best to catch up with the bigger kids and wasn't watching where he was going. He ran right into me and bounced off, hit the floor with a little 'oof'." Xanatos chuckled. "Then he looked up and, Force, Asakri...his eyes...I just can't describe what I saw there. It was like coming home, like touching the Force. He was so bright...so bright...."

Xanatos' voice faded for a moment as he looked away. Eventually, he cleared his throat and continued. "Things were pretty blurry for the next little while. Qui-Gon left me in the crèche with Obi-Wan and went to tell the Council we couldn't go on the next mission assignment. They convinced him to go on the mission and leave Obi and me behind. Once he was gone, they separated us." The man's tone became hard and he pulled away from his friend. His hands curled into fists as Xanatos remembered again the anguish and agony of that night. "Windu and Koon, they...Obi-Wan screamed, I can hear it still - his last scream - and his fear and pain."

Xanatos turned back to the knight, his jaw clenched. There was a sheen of tears but his eyes were hard and icy. "They broke the soul bond, 'Kari," he whispered. "They reached into Obi-Wan's mind and ripped it out." Askari reached for his hand and pulled the taller man to him, wrapping his arms around his friend. Xanatos buried his face in Askari's neck. "Gods, I've never felt such pain. I wanted to die."

Askari just held his friend, struggling not to show the anger boiling inside on his behalf. He had grown up with Xanatos though he was a year ahead of him. He knew the younger man better than almost anyone else and he would never have thought there was anything that could bring Xanatos to the point of such agonized tears.

"Xan, you have him back now; he's here," Askari murmured quietly. "Master Jinn saved him; you found him again."

Xanatos stayed in his friend's arms for a little while longer. "I know, 'Kari," he said in a low tone. "But I remember that night. There was a time when I dreamed it every night, heard him scream every night."

"Xanatos..." the older man began but his words were interrupted when the door to the infirmary slid open and a small form burst into the room heading straight for the man in his arms.

"Xantoes!" Obi-Wan cried as he reached his bondmate. Xanatos quickly pulled away from Askari and gathered his little one into his arms. The Jedi watched as his oldest friend crooned words of comfort while absently wiping away his own tears.

"It's all right, Obi-Wan," Xanatos murmured as Obi-Wan burrowed into his tunic. "I was just remembering."

The little boy studied Xanatos' expression before he reached up to touch his bondmate's face. "Don't think about the Dark Man."

Xanatos took Obi-Wan's hand in his own and gave him a gentle smile. "Sometimes you have to remember so you can let it go, Obi," he said. He glanced up at Askari who was just watching silently. "And Askari was helping me do that."

Obi-Wan turned to study the knight lying on the bed for a long moment. Askari noted the little boy's hand absently curling around a fistful of Xanatos' black hair before he leaned back against his bondmate. The older man smiled inwardly at the boy's almost possessive stance.

"Do you feel better now?" Obi-Wan asked, turning his eyes back to his bonded.

"Yes, I do," Xanatos replied, pushing the boy's hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you, little one. You should be napping."

"I'm not tired," Obi-Wan protested, his fingers tightening on Xanatos' tunic. "I don't need a nap."

Xanatos chuckled and set the boy down before he stood and offered him his hand. "Well, I need a nap. Will you come lay down with me for a little while?"

Obi-Wan took his bondmate's hand. "Okay," he agreed softly.

Xanatos smiled before he met his friend's eyes for a long moment. "Thank you again, Askari," he said in a gentle tone. The knight just nodded and gave his former lover a half-smile.

After the door slid shut behind his friend, Askari leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He focused on breathing deeply and keeping his emotions steady. He knew that if he happened to glance in a mirror at that moment, he would find a suspicious sheen in his own green eyes. Seeing Xanatos with his little bondmate and hearing Xan's account of his bonding finally brought home to the knight that any hopes he might have had for any intimacies stronger than friendship was forever gone with one whimsical bonding of the Force.

Now he just had to work on accepting his friend's happiness and letting go of his own grief. Obi-Wan was obviously a good match for Xanatos. The pair was already tuned to each other's emotions and Askari knew that the instinctive understanding between them would only grow stronger with time. The kind of unconditional love the pair shared already was rare and powerful. He could only hope that in time the Force might bestow such a bond on him.

He was still brooding on the destiny of his former lover when Depa entered the infirmary followed by Qui-Gon. Depa immediately went to his side, her dark eyes glancing over his face to see if he was even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Askari gave his former master a weary smile as she took his hand in her own.

"I'm fine, Master," he said. "Just a bit tired."

"I know but it was a close call, Askari," Depa said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "You'll just have to accept that I'm going to hover until you're back on your feet." The knight looked up at his master for a long moment, his expression one of puzzlement. "What is it?" Depa finally asked.

"I don't understand how the same man could have trained you and Knight Porim, Master," he replied slowly.

Depa gave her former student a surprised look before she glanced up quickly to meet Qui-Gon's blue gaze. "Why do you say that?" she asked.

Askari searched for the right words for a few seconds and then took a deep, calming breath. "I think I came to know Porim very well over the last three years, better than I really wanted to." The younger Jedi looked up at his master. "He never showed any signs of your compassion, your understanding of there being two sides to every situation. He had nothing in the way of personal hobbies or interests. His main objective was whatever Master Windu told him to do, his main focus was to please his master. Everything he did was done with an eye to how Master Windu would react. Even early in my training, I don't remember you worrying over every decision because of what Master Mace might think."

Depa looked a bit concerned by her former padawan's word. "It's only reasonable that a new knight should have a care as to what their master would think," Depa said though her eyes were troubled.

"But Tradus had been knighted almost a year when we were assigned this mission. He had been on several solo missions but still he was obsessed with Master Windu's opinion in everything." Askari rubbed his forehead, wincing at the slight ache he still had from his wrist. "Logically, neither of us had any business being assigned that search anyway. There were far more experienced Hunters available but at least I had some training. He had no Hunting experience, no covert training yet Master Windu gave him the leadership of the mission."

"I'm sure Master Mace had his reasons," Depa said softly.

"But Porim wasn't the only Jedi the Council assigned to a mission out of his depth, Master," Askari continued. "Remember Trib? She was knighted a few months after me?"

Depa nodded slowly, remembering a small, scholarly knight, former padawan to one of the brightest minds on Coruscant, whose highest ambition was to be assigned to the research cadre in the main library on Datooine.

"She and her former master, Padrios, were assigned to track suspected Hutt drug trafficking off the Corellia system."

"Padrios was never trained for combat situations of that magnitude," Qui-Gon objected instantly. "His talents were always used strategically."

Askari nodded at the older man. "But Padrios continued to question why you and Master had left the order and finally he was awarded a mission to the Hutts. He and Trib have been missing for months but the Council will not send out Hunters to find them. And they are not the only Knights missing."

Qui-Gon stood and paced away before he returned to the knight's side. He stared down at the younger man with a hard, blue gaze. "And you think Mace is responsible for knights being assigned to missions they would never be able to complete?"

"Master Jinn, I've spent the last three years quietly gathering information on what happened the night Xanatos left the Temple and it has not been easy. Every Jedi who had an apartment in the area of your own was shipped out on a mission shortly after Xanatos Turned. Even some of the crèche masters were reassigned to posts off planet. Occasionally, I would catch one when they were on Coruscant for short periods of recovery but the Council would ship them out again as soon as they were medically able. And for the first year after you left, any knight who questioned the circumstances of your or Xanatos' departure was shipped out on the most difficult missions whether they were trained for it or not."

Askari looked away for a long moment. "I happened to be on planet and was able to speak with Trib just before they shipped out for Corellia. She said Master Padrios and Master Windu had a very public argument concerning you and Depa. The very next day, they received their mission assignment offworld." He turned his gaze back to the shocked pair of ex-Jedi. "I don't see how this could be coincidence, Masters. The Council doesn't want anyone to figure out what happened that night and anyone who questions is a liability."

"That is a very grave charge to level at the Jedi Council, Knight T'shen," Depa said sternly.

"I am not the only one to think this, Master," Askari replied. "There are many Jedi who share my theory but do not speak openly." The knight leaned forward and steadily met his master's eyes. "If this situation continues, I can't speak for what will happen. There are Jedi who even now blindly follow the Council. But there are also those Jedi - padawans, knights and masters - who have lost faith in the Council due to its actions in the past years and wouldn't hesitate to displace them. Someone who had the knowledge of this could use it to split the Order right down the middle. And once the Jedi lose their solidarity and faith in themselves, how long will it be before the Order shatters completely?"

"Askari, you are making too much of this issue," Qui-Gon suggested but the younger man shook his head.

"I don't think so, Master Jinn," the knight answered. "Due to untrained knights being sent on missions, the success rate of Jedi missions is declining though I really had to dig to find that information the last time I was at the Temple. Finally, I checked the senate records of those missions the Jedi had been assigned from the Senate and the information was not good. There have even been discussions logged that question the ability of the Jedi to accomplish the tasks set for them and if they can't do those, why should the Senate be funding them?"

Depa and Qui-Gon exchanged a long look before they turned back to the agitated knight. "And you think Master Windu, a member of the Council, is responsible for this?" Depa asked without expression. Askari leaned back against his pillows and closed his eyes.

"Master, who is the boy referring to when he speaks of the Dark Man?" Askari replied with a question.

Depa quickly looked away with a shudder. "He's always called Master Windu that because Mace was the one who...he and Plo Koon broke the soul bond." Depa glanced back at him, her eyes dark with memory. "But that is because of Mace's skin, nothing else."

The knight opened his green eyes and looked unblinkingly at his former master. "I'd say breaking a soul bond was an act of Darkness, Master, no matter the reason," Askari stated solemnly. "And the boy recognized that."

"He was only four years old, 'Kari, hardly old enough to understand...."

"What could have been so horrible about a soul-bond that the Council thought it should be broken? And was it the Council who decided that? Or Master Windu?"

"You weren't there, padawan," Depa finally responded in a cold tone. "You don't know what happened so you should not make assumptions."

"I wasn't there, Master," Askari replied. "But I have spent the last three years tracking Obi-Wan to return him to the Temple. I had to listen to Porim rant about how his master wanted the boy back - his master not the Council - and would get him back no matter who tried to stand in his way." The younger man looked at the two masters, his eyes finally showing confusion rather than confidence. "Why does Windu want Obi-Wan so badly that he would break a soul bond knowing he would lose Master Jinn's friendship because of it and then track the boy across the galaxy?"

"That would seem to be the question, Askari," Qui-Gon answered gently. "And we don't have an answer for you." The former Jedi master looked at the younger man thoughtfully. "I do have some contacts in the Senate though. I will confirm if what you found in the logs has established a foothold in current debates. I may also be able to find out more specifics on the mission failures you've identified."

"Qui-Gon, you don't suspect Master Mace has Turned to the Dark do you?" Depa asked, speaking her own deep fear for the first time. "As much as I respect Askari's insights, I just can't believe Master would do these things."

"It...would explain much," Qui-Gon said carefully, thoughtfully. "But I will need more facts than one knight's assumptions, much as I respect that knight," the master continued with a slight bow to Askari. "Hard to see, the Darkside is," he said almost to himself. He glanced up at Askari again. "And where do you think Master Yoda stands in all of this?"

The knight shook his head slowly. "I spoke with him before I last left Coruscant. He was not very forthcoming but he seemed to be worried for you and the boy."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Thank you, Askari," he said before he turned and left the room. Askari watched him go before he returned his gaze to Depa.

"I'm sorry, Master," he said softly, hoping he hadn't made the woman irretrievably angry with him. Depa just looked at him with a troubled gaze before she reached out to squeeze his hand.

"You have always found insight where others find only confusion, Askari," she replied almost in a whisper. "I only hope that this time, you are wrong."

Then she too was gone, leaving Askari to his thoughts and making him wonder if perhaps Agri-corps would have been such a bad choice after all.

A few weeks later, Askari walked quietly into the small galley where Xanatos and his guests ate their meals. His friend was already there, reading over some reports and waiting for the rest of his companions to gather for the evening meal. Xanatos looked up curiously at his friend's faint groan as he settled himself into a seat.

"Problems?" he asked, his dark brows rising.

"Qui-Gon," Askari answered as he tried to find a comfortable position on the hard chair. "He has been working with me trying to get my strength back."

"Ah," Xanatos said with a smirk. "My condolences."

"Thanks," the older knight said, rolling his eyes. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

"Sleeping," Xanatos answered absently.

"He's been sleeping a lot," Askari noted as he leaned back in his chair. Xanatos glanced up at him, a slight smile on his face.

"It's the bond," the man said. "It's growing stronger and takes quite a bit of energy."

Askari leaned back. "I'm glad, Xan," he said with a smile.

Xanatos nodded, his smile widening but he said nothing.

A few moments later, Depa and Qui-Gon appeared in the galley and settled into two of the remaining chairs. Their expressions were both solemn as they gazed at their host.

"Xanatos," Qui-Gon began. "We have greatly enjoyed the peace you have offered us while on your ship but Depa and I have decided to return to Coruscant."

Xanatos narrowed his eyes as he glared back at his former master. "You're not taking Obi-Wan anywhere near that planet!" he replied in a low, dangerous tone.

"No, Obi-Wan will be staying here, with you," the master replied, looking into his padawan's angry eyes, eyes that widened in complete surprise at Qui-Gon's reply. "Depa and I have discussed this many times over the past week. Obi-Wan already seeks your company in preference to ours. He is comfortable with you, the bond is growing stronger and before long it will be at the strength it was before."

"Why are you leaving?" Xanatos asked, suddenly worried for his former master now that he didn't have to worry about Obi-Wan. His eyes darted between Depa and Qui-Gon.

"I know you and Askari have spoken of matters at the Temple, Xanatos," Depa replied. "Qui-Gon has found information indicating that the reputation of the Jedi in the Senate is much worse than originally expected. We are going to meet with some of his contacts." Depa glanced away for a moment. "We may be able to force a confrontation with the Council but that remains to be seen."

"I'm going with you, Askari stated firmly.

"We had hoped you would, Knight T'shen," Qui-Gon agreed with a faint smile. "Your presence would be greatly appreciated."

"We will have to be careful, Askari," Depa noted. "You are still considered to be a Knight of the Order while we are considered by some to be rogue."

"Master, whatever my status, I will stand beside you and Master Jinn. We will need all the help we can get."

"Hopefully, it will not come down to you renouncing your knighthood, Askari," Qui-Gon said firmly. "Do not do so unless you feel there is no other way."

Xanatos looked down at the paperwork he'd halfway finished and pushed it away. "You say Obi-Wan is ready to stay with me but he will be very upset when you two leave, Qui-Gon," the man said, not looking up. "And I am not going with you."

"I had no intentions of asking, Xan," Qui-Gon said. "You are Obi-Wan's anchor now."

The younger man looked up and met his former master's blue eyes. "I understand that you have to go but I want you to know you are welcome to return at anytime." He glanced at Depa and Askari. "All of you are welcome. You have the contact information for me should you need to get in touch."

"Thank you, Xanatos," Depa replied with a nod.

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as possible," Qui-Gon replied. "We had hoped to take one of your shuttles this evening if you can spare one."

"It's yours," Xanatos replied tonelessly as he stood. "I will have the techs check it over and have it fueled up."

"I'll go with you," Askari offered as he stood but Xanatos waved him off.

"I'll handle it," the man replied and then was gone.

Xanatos had said his goodbyes. Depa and Qui-Gon along with Askari were even now settling into the small, sleek transport that he had given them for their return to Coruscant.

While Xan was sorry to see them go, more sorry than he'd admit even to himself, he had what he wanted. Obi-Wan was staying with him.

But as he strode along the corridor towards his suite of rooms, however, Xanatos couldn't help worrying about his friends - and when had his former master become a...friend? More than a friend?

Xanatos gave a humorless chuckle and shook his head. Why deny the obvious? Qui-Gon Jinn was, and would always be, the man Xanatos trusted above all others save his own Obi-Wan. He had given up his life's work to save his padawan's bondmate, had lived the life of a hunted rogue Jedi, so that Xanatos would have time to recover and find his way back to the light again.

Xanatos growled under his breath. Qui-Gon and Depa had gone through much over the past three years, running constantly, shielding Obi-Wan from the Jedi, giving up their own wants and needs just to keep the boy protected. But now that his bondmate was settled safely with Xanatos, they wanted to head back to the Jedi Temple, returning to the very place and people who had been the cause of their suffering. He just didn't understand it and he definitely didn't agree.

He was never going back to the Temple. The Jedi had created their own Darkness through their willful ignorance and now they could live with it. The Jedi had done nothing for him but cause him the suffering of a broken soulbond.

Angry thoughts boiled in his mind, darkened by the worry he felt for Qui-Gon and Askari; and even Depa. He knew he should go with them but he just couldn't. Even as he approached the door of his room and slapped the side panel to open it, Xanatos denied the Order. He had given them years of his life and how did they repay him? What had the Jedi done for him?

As the door to his room slid open, Xanatos was granted an instant answer to his belligerent question.

Standing just on the other side was Obi-Wan, dressed for travelling with a carry bag hanging on his shoulder. The boy looked up at him with a smile that melted away his anger as easily as it had done the very first time Xanatos had seen it.

"Xantoes!" the boy greeted him and Xanatos grinned. No matter how much his vocabulary and willingness to speak had grown in the last few weeks, Obi-Wan always called his bondmate by that name.

"Obi-Wan," the man replied, ruffling his bondmate's hair. "And what are you dressed for?"

"We're going to save the Jedi. Are you packed? We should be leaving soon."

The man just gaped at his young bondmate until Obi-Wan's smile drifted away to be replaced with a concerned look.

"Are you okay? Should I call Master?"

Xanatos stepped inside the room and the door closed behind him before he dropped to his knees in order to speak with his bondmate eye to eye.

"I'm fine, Obi-Wan," he said. "But we're not going to Coruscant."

The boy looked at Xanatos, his expressive face suddenly filled with worry. "But we have to go. The Jedi need help."

"The Jedi can help themselves," he snapped in a hard tone.

The boy stepped forward and grabbed one of his bondmate's hands. He looked up at Xanatos with an earnest gaze. "But Master, and Depa and 'skari need our help," he insisted.

Xanatos sighed. He was not giving in. He was not going to help the stupid Jedi. "Obi-Wan..." he began but the boy cut him off, gripping his hand even tighter.

"If we don't go, Master will die!" Obi-Wan said in a wobbling tone. "And 'skari and something bad will happen to Depa!" With a little sob, the boy wrapped his arms around Xanatos' chest. "Please, Xantoes! We have to go! If we don't go, the D-d-dark man will get me!"

Xanatos wrapped his arms around his shivering bondmate and made soothing noises. "Shhh, Obi-Wan. Listen, if we go with them, the Dark Man might get you anyway! They're going to make sure he can never touch you again."

The boy drew back from his bondmate and looked up, his watery green eyes serious. "But we have to go too. We have to save the Jedi." Obi-Wan reached up to lay his hands on either side of Xanatos' face and in a tone much older than a seven-year-old ought to have, he said, "Please, Xantoes. If you hadn't been a Jedi, how would I have found you?"

Xanatos stared at the little boy for a long moment before he understood and accepted Obi-Wan's insight. What had the Jedi done for him? They had given him Obi-Wan. True, they had taken him away again but Xanatos had known then to look for him and known where the other half of his soul resided. And two Jedi had given up everything to make sure he found his other half. A third Jedi had nearly given his life to make sure Obi-Wan stayed safe.

Xanatos leaned forward and laid his forehead against the boy's and sighed. "You're right, my Obi-Wan. Just let me gather a few things."

The boy's face lit up and he jumped forward to hug his bondmate with all his strength. Xanatos just groaned as he stood and then walked over to a comm port. He flicked a few buttons and the captain of his ship was on the screen before him.

"Yes sir?"

"Don't let the transport with the Jedi leave yet," he instructed the man. "I'll be joining them shortly."

There was a surprised expression on the captain's face but he nodded. "Yes, sir."

Xanatos rubbed his forehead for a long moment, gathering his thoughts, until a tug on his tunic pulled his attention back to Obi-Wan. The boy stood beside him, holding up his lightsaber.

"Don't forget this," he said softly. "Cause you'll need it."

Xanatos gave his bondmate a formal bow and accepted the weapon, attaching it to his belt as though it always hung there.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

Askari looked at his former master curiously when the pilot of their transport informed them of a brief delay before they departed from Xanatos' ship. The man had something of a smirk around his lips when he returned to the cockpit and the knight couldn't help but wonder why.

A few minutes later, he got his answer as two additional passengers arrived on board, one tall, dark, former Jedi padawan pulled rather reluctantly along by a short, determined, possible padawan-to-be.

"C'mon Xantoes," Obi-Wan said happily as he looked up and saw the three occupants of the main cabin. "We're here. We can go now," the boy said as he ran over and jumped onto the seat next to Qui-Gon. He gestured imperiously for his bondmate to sit down next to him and with an obviously, long-suffering sigh, Xanatos did just that.

The cabin's three previous occupants exchanged glances. The two former Jedi masters were well able to control their expressions but as a knight of only four seasons, Askari couldn't help the surprised snicker that passed his lips. Xanatos glared at him.

"Something to share, Knight T'shen?" the former Jedi asked archly.

"No, Xan, nothing at all," the knight replied with an almost neutral expression. Almost being the key word. "It's just good to know who will be wearing the master's knot in your happy little family."

Xanatos' ice blue eyes narrowed as he tried to turn his friend to ash with his stare alone. However, the others noted that no denial came from the former padwan's man's lips.

"Hey pilot!" Obi-Wan yelled down the hallway as he swung his legs, banging his heels against his seat. "We can go now!"

tbc in "'Til Death Dare Part Us"
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