Master Apprentice Archive HST 10: Sexual Aids I: The Class Quick search:

Feedback: Of course. Always welcome, good, bad, or indifferent.

Archive: M&A, SWC, all others just ask - homesite: http://www.slasharchive.com/chelle/

Series: Humanoid Sexual Techniques; story 10

Rating: NC 17

Category: Humor

Pairing: Q/O

Disclaimer: The boys belong to George. I pray for his forgiveness, and a few other things involving Qui Gon, rope, and a Hitachi Magic Wand.

Summary: Obi Wan teaches sex ed, with a little, uh, help from his master.

Warnings: Spew, I hope.

Notes: Thank you to kaly for the beta. Thank you to Pumpkin for putting up with my recent bizarre mood, and not just saying "go do something useful, like write more HST."

Lest I forget, thank you to Mac, Emu, and Wolfe, for the bunny.

Emu, I hope this fills in some of the gaps in the education you received from the Presbyterian Ladies.

Obi-Wan entered the classroom with Qui-Gon at his side. It was empty. He put down Master J'lath's box and began removing the props for today's class. When Qui-Gon didn't move to help, he looked up. Catching sight of the look in his master's eyes, he said *No, Master. The students will be here any moment.*

"We could lock the door."

"Locking them out of their class. That'll definitely get everyone to stop discussing our sex life."

Qui-Gon took a step closer. Obi-Wan put a hand in the center of his chest, stopping him. "Not in the classroom, Master." There was an edge of mild annoyance in his voice.

Qui-Gon covered the hand with his own. "I like the feel of your hands on me," he said, voice low and inviting.

"Master." Annoyance warred with desire. "The students."

"Have seen us kiss before." Qui-Gon took another step forward and his lips were on Obi-Wan's.

"Ahem."

They stopped, turning toward the door. Ragen stood there, smirking. "Shouldn't you wait until the students arrive before beginning the demonstrations?"

"Was there something you needed, Padawan?" The tone of Qui-Gon's voice was a clear reminder of his place.

"No, uhh, I was just..." Students began to push past Ragen into the classroom. "I'll see you at lunch, Kenobi."

Obi-Wan looked up at his lover, a smirk of his own beginning to form. His eyes connected with Qui-Gon's and he found himself moving closer. Qui-Gon removed his arms from around his apprentice, surprising Obi-Wan. "The students," Qui-Gon whispered. Obi-Wan turned and looked at the full classroom, flushed slightly.

*Don't you dare laugh,* he sent, not needing to see Qui-Gon's face to know he was amused.

*I wouldn't dream of it,* Qui-Gon answered, *at least not out loud.* He walked to his customary seat, capturing Obi-Wan's eyes with his own as he wiggled into it.

*Tease.*

*I'm not teasing. I'm offering.*

*Oh.* Obi-Wan swallowed visibly.

"Instructor Kenobi?"

"Yes?"

"We're all here. Don't you think you should start class?"

Obi-Wan turned his attention to the students in front of him. "Good morning. Today is the first class on sexual aids."

"Sexual aids?" One of the students repeated.

"They're also known as toys. This morning we'll be discussing vibrators." He lifted the vibrator Qui-Gon had used on him the night before from the box, pushing the memory that arose with it firmly from his mind. "And dildos." He held up a bright purple silicone model.

He replaced the vibrator, and handed the dildo to the student nearest to him. "Dildos are used for penetration, and most, but not all of them, are designed to resemble the humanoid penis."

"Penetration? Where?"

"The usual places. Vagina, anus, mouth."

"Mouth? Why would anyone put a piece of silicone in their mouth?"

"To demonstrate fellatio." Another of the students answered. A ripple of laughter. Obi-Wan reddened slightly.

"Or because they enjoy it." Obi-Wan added, knowing Qui-Gon was suppressing laughter. "Some people enjoy performing fellatio so much that they wish to do it even with partners who don't have a penis."

"But..."

"But what?" Obi-Wan asked.

The student shook his head. "It just seems weird, that's all."

Another student looked thoughtful. "So one person holds the dildo in front of them and the other person sucks it?"

"Well, you don't have to hold it. It can be worn." Obi-Wan reached into the box and pulled out an intricate looking leather contraption. "In a harness, like this."

"It looks complicated," One of the students observed.

Another wrinkled his forehead. "Isn't that what they use to ride Tauntauns?"

"Umm, not quite," Obi-Wan answered.

"Maybe you should demonstrate it," another suggested.

"Uh," Obi-Wan foundered. Qui-Gon was clutching his sides, shaking with suppressed laughter. Obi-Wan suddenly straightened. "You know, my Master is so much better at demonstrations than I am." He held the harness out in Qui-Gon's direction.

*No.*

*But, Master...* Obi-Wan batted his eyelashes.

*No.*

*You started the demonstrations. Something about doing whatever it took to further the students' education.*

The students were looking from Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon expectantly.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon's voice had a dangerous edge.

"Yes, Master?" Obi-Wan answered, his voice both placating and hopeful.

Qui-Gon sighed. "Very well." He rose. *You owe me, Padawan.*

*I look forward to repaying you.*

"It looks like Instructor Kenobi won."

"I wonder what he had to promise in return."

"Probably a private demonstration."

"You think they'd take a holograph?"

"Hey!" Obi-Wan glowered. "There will be no holographs."

Qui-Gon approached the student holding the dildo and held out his hand. "May I?"

"Oh, of course." Flushing, she placed the dildo in Qui-Gon's hand.

"Thank you." He placed the harness and dildo on the table, and removed his robe. Obi-Wan was watching him intently, eyes twinkling with amusement. Qui-Gon inserted the dildo into the hole on the harness. Holding it against himself, he began adjusting the straps. He was twisted around, trying to latch a strap behind him.

"Here, Master. Let me help." Obi-Wan approached and took the harness. He removed it and knelt down in front of Qui-Gon holding the leg openings apart. Qui-Gon stepped into them and Obi-Wan pulled the harness up, carefully avoiding brushing his master's penis. Their hands met as Qui-Gon reached down to take hold of the leather strap, and Obi-Wan stepped behind him, hooking the straps. The tension between them filled the room.

"Perhaps we should leave them alone?"

One of the others shook her head. "Nah, I think they like it when we watch."

Obi-Wan stepped back in front of his Master, his hands resting on Qui-Gon's waist.

"Maybe we should remind them we're here." Another student commented.

"I think they know."

"I'm not so sure."

"We know you're there." Qui-Gon said, all Jedi calm. "We'd be wearing a lot less if you weren't."

Laughter. Obi-Wan stepped aside, revealing Qui-Gon in all of his strap-on glory.

"I thought it'd be bigger."

"You lose an inch or so to the harness," Qui-Gon answered.

"I thought it'd be lower."

"And less purple."

Obi-Wan laughed. *Should I tell them what shade you really are?*

"No," Qui-Gon answered emphatically, reddening as he realized what the students meant.

"Instructor Kenobi, will you be demonstrating fellatio again?"

"What?"

"I thought you might show us how to use a dildo for oral penetration."

"No."

"But..."

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head. "You all are worse than Master Yoda," he muttered.

"Master Yoda? You demonstrate for Master Yoda? No wonder you were assigned to teach this class."

"I do not demonstrate for Master Yoda."

"Padawan."

"Yes, Master?"

"May I get out of this thing now?" Qui-Gon asked.

"In a moment. I have to talk about packing."

"I am not tucking this into my pants," Qui-Gon growled. Obi-Wan knew that tone of voice all too well.

"Packing? You're going to show us how to store dildos in our gear?"

"Uhh, no, not quite. Packing is when a person wears a dildo under their clothes."

"Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose? I mean, isn't sex something you do without clothes?"

"And why would you want two penises?"

"Packing is usually done by women," Obi-Wan replied

"Oh."

"Hey, they mentioned women."

"Yeah, but only women who strap on fake penises."

"It's a start. Maybe they'll talk about men wearing fake breasts next."

"I always intend to talk about women. It's just the be-" It rang. "Always sounds," he finished.

"You didn't get to vibrators."

"We'll squeeze them in next time."

"I'm sure you will," the student replied coolly.

Laughter erupted. The students began to file out, more than one of them brushing against Qui-Gon's silicone cock as they did so. One even went so far as to touch it with her hand, paling a bit as she did so.

As soon as the door closed, Obi-Wan raked his eyes suggestively over Qui-Gon. "Did I ever tell you that purple suits you, Master?"

Qui-Gon made a strangling noise deep in his throat. "Obi-Wan."

His apprentice sauntered toward him. "Yes, Master?" His voice was low. He pushed himself up against his master, one hand wrapping around his neck, the other around the purple dildo.

"Stop that." Obi-Wan's mouth was against Qui-Gon's neck, sucking lightly. "I mean it."

"Ummm." Obi-Wan acknowledged, sucking harder.

The door opened. Master Yoda stood in the doorway. "Class over. No need to demonstrate. To your quarters you should go."

Obi-Wan pressed his forehead against Qui-Gon's shoulder for a moment, before turning to face the little green troll. "Hello, Master Yoda."

"Obi-Wan, step back you should. Constantly touch him, you should not." Obi-Wan met his master's eyes as he stepped back, revealing the dildo.

"Qui-Gon, surprised I am. If having erectile problems you are, see healers you should. Dildo not the same, not warm, like flesh." He gave Qui-Gon a look that only be described as lascivious. "Help you I can, if healers cannot."

"It was just a demonstration, Master. I'm perfectly healthy."

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Padawan. Happen, these things do."

Qui-Gon sighed. "Yes, Master."

"Perhaps if better kisser you were, more aroused you would become."

Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan close and buried his head in his shoulder. "Yes, Master," he muttered.