How Does It Feel?

by Sarina Argus



Rating: PG13

Summary: Response to the First Time Qui-Gon Challenge.

Archive: Yes, please, let me know where. Eil, Harleen, Crysta, Ji, Maddy, Em, and Amber, do it to it :)

Disclaimers: Star Wars isn't mine (big deep sigh) Just this story ( and a few of the OCs) No money made from this. Strictly done out of love, please don't shoot me :)

Feedback: Pretty Please? (ayajj@aol.com or on list :))



"... and the horns blasting all the time, I swear I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life." Padawan Rees Toth let his head fall on his arms, hiding his red face. His friends, Padawans Qui-Gon Jinn and Mace Windu didn't help the situation, pounding on the dining hall table as howls of laughter echoed off the walls.

Rees mumbled, "Thank you so much for your compassion. Truly a Jedi like response."

Qui-Gon straightened first, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Gods, I'm sorry, Rees, but you have to admit, punctuating every muttering from your lips with a horn blast..." he fell over again, overtaken by giggles.

Mace cleared his throat. "Ohh.. WHAAAAP, Ahh, WHAAAAP Uhhh...WHAAAA..." he fell over again, gasping for air.

"Gods," Rees muttered, resting his forehead on his arms again.

Qui-Gon and Mace yelled, "WHAAAAAAAA..." and fell off the bench, overcome with laughter.

"I hate you."

"Hate leads to suffering, and all that fun stuff..." Another padawan, Jes Catbo, approached the table, stepping over the pair still laughing on the floor. Setting her tray on the table, she sat next to Rees, and without preamble said, "I heard."

Rees shrugged, his head still buried in his sleeves.

"Can I ask a question?"

He shrugged again.

"What did it feel like?"

Rees stopped and stared, as did Qui-Gon and Mace, who were making their way up to the table again. "Other than the horns and the decorations and ..." he gestured slightly.

She nodded and sipped her drink. "Uh huh. How did it feel?"

Rees stared at her, though her, as if recalling the memory. A faint smile curled his lips. "It was... like I was dying, but I didn't care, like if I died, it would be worth it. She was..." a more crooked smile, "I can't really describe it any better than that."

Jes smiled in return. "I hope mine's like that."

Mace gaped. "What do you mean? You want the trumpets and the jugglers and the planetwide broadcast?"

Jes tossed a piece of salad at him. "No, Mace. I want the 'dying and not caring' part." She smiled at Qui-Gon. "I want to think about it years from now and still smile about it. You know, unforgettable."

"Well, good luck." Qui-Gon stole a piece of fruit from her tray. "Unlike Rees, we never get sent on missions like this. His master is assigned to that house, he has to play diplomat all the time."

"Most of our 'training' will be here," Mace continued, "in this temple, with our own masters and later with each other."

Jes laughed. "So, just because it's with each other, doesn't mean we can't have it like that."

Mace nodded, stealing a roll. "True..." Then, with a wicked grin, "So, wanna try that dying thing?"

"Only if you have a death wish, Windu." She looked at her now empty tray and laughed. Standing gracefully, she patted Rees' shoulder. "Thanks for ..." she shrugged. "And don't let them get to you." She raised an eyebrow at Qui-Gon, winked, and sauntered away. The three of them watched the gentle sway of her hips as she left the hall.






"Qui-Gon, noticed I have your distraction." Yoda tapped his gimmer stick on the soft floor of their quarters.

Qui-Gon bowed his head. "I'm sorry, my master. I'll do better in the future."

Yoda sat next to him, studying him carefully. "What troubles you, padawan?"

"It's nothing master, really."

"Heard I did about your friend, Padawan Toth."

Qui-Gon felt the color rise in his cheeks.

"His first he has had already. Now wonder you when your first will be, hmm?"

"That's not it, master. It's..." He cleared his throat in an attempt to control his embarrassment. Qui-Gon knew he could talk to his master about anything, and should be comfortable talking to him about everything. Yoda had been alive for over 700 years, and had trained more than his share of padawans. He'd gone through this with every one of them too.

Yet he found it impossible to talk about sex with a creature he doubted had those urges in over 700 years.

"It's not that, master," Qui-Gon lied. "I'm sorry master, I'll concentrate more in the future."

Yoda nodded, unconvinced, but dropped the subject.




"How much longer will you be on Coruscant?" Qui-Gon asked. He, Rees, Mace and padawan Adi Gallia walked to the training rooms.

"At least 2 more cycles," Rees answered. "We aren't expected back for a while and my master wants me to take advantage of all the classes I can."

"Good, then you'll be here for the exhibition."

"The arts and weaponry demonstration?"

Mace nodded. "Do you think your master will let you enter with us?"

Rees shrugged. "I don't see why not. What are you doing?"

"Fire forms, levels ten through twelve."

Rees nodded as they entered the training area. "The four of us? "

Qui-Gon shed his robe and dropped it on the floor in a heap. "Jes and her master just got assigned to a mission and now Adi needs a partner."

Qui-Gon had already started his warm ups. Mace and Adi set their robes on the shelves and began their stretches

Rees folded his robe up and set his saber on top. Glancing at Qui-Gon, he picked up his friend's robe and stuffed it into the lower shelf. Then moving to one corner of the mats, he began his own stretches. Qui-Gon and Adi stopped mid-motion to watch him.

"That's a new series, Rees." Qui-Gon noticed. "Where did you learn that?"

"It's a Zaurian kata, Falling Water. I learned it from the ambassador's guard."

"Show me?"

Rees shrugged and slowly re-started the kata, Qui-Gon following along, mirroring his movements. Adi followed the moves with bright eyes and a faint smile on her lips. Mace continued along in his own series. Finishing the warm up, they paired off and began level ten.




Rees was seated by himself in the corner of the dining hall when his friends caught up with him again.

"Gods, Rees, keeping up with you is like chasing a ghost," Qui-Gon swore, taking a seat opposite his friend.

Rees mumbled an apology, but concentrated on his mostly untouched tray.

"So are we still on for vids tonight?"

Rees shook his head. "Sorry, I can't."

"Why not? Master Shendal said no?"

Rees shook his head again. "No, I have... I mean I can't. Long story."

Mace stared at him a moment. "Are you in trouble? Can we help?"

Rees buried his head in his hands, "No, but thanks. I'm fine."

"You are a terrible liar, Rees," Qui-Gon teased. "What's wrong?"

Just then, Adi walked up and set a gentle hand on Rees' shoulder. "Are we still on tonight?" she asked softly.

Rees glanced up at her and turned bright red. "If you still want to," he answered, smiling shyly.

Adi nodded, her own color rising a bit. "Tonight then. After the evening sessions." She gave his shoulder a squeeze, smiled to Qui-Gon and Mace, winked at Rees, and left.

The two of them stared at Rees incredulous. "What the Sith..."

"She wants to um... learn a um... new form," he stammered.

"Uh huh. What form is that?"

"The um... water... crest... flame... thing..."

Mace stared at him. "She asked you didn't she?"

"Asked what?"

"She asked you to be her first, didn't she?"

Rees pushed the tray away and let his head sink to the table top with a loud thud.

"Qui, he and Adi are gonna... you know!"

Qui-Gon's jaw fell open.

"Louder, Mace, I don't think Chancellor Maercs quite heard you," Rees hissed, pulling his hood over his head.

"I can't believe it..."

"Why you?"

"You're never here!"

"You're built like a wall!"

"And you're too quiet!"

"You don't even dance!"

"I'm better looking than you!"

Qui-Gon stopped mid-tirade and stared at Mace. Mace looked offended. "Well it's true. Sith, Qui, you're not bad either, compared to Rees."

"That's rather unfair of you, Mace." He gestured at Rees. "It's not like he's a troll or anything."

Rees stood quickly, knocking his chair to the floor as he glared at them. "Perhaps Padawan Gallia prefers someone with experience and better manners than a brothellord." Picking up his tray, he growled, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to keep."

Qui-Gon had that sinking feeling in his stomach watching his friend walk away.

"He's right, you know."

"That we have the manners of brothelkeepers?"

Mace shook his head. "No, I mean that women would want experience."

"What are you talking about?"

Mace stood quickly. "C'mon. I've got an idea."




Qui-Gon walked as quickly as possible to the doorway. Master Yoda had already given him permission to go out with his friends, but he'd still rather be gone before his master could question his taste in clothing. He was almost out the door when he remembered the credit voucher on his desk. Retrieving it quickly, he palmed open the door.

"Qui-Gon, out you are going?"

"Master..." Qui-Gon stammered.

"And what clothing is this?" he poked at the fitted black pants. "Your uniform, where is it?"

"Mace and I-"

"Leaving the temple you are?" He studied his apprentice's face, now pink with embarrassment.

"Uh, just for a few hours, master. We'll be back before curfew." He shuffled back and forth for a moment.

"And what would you do?" Yoda made his way over to his cushion, seating himself comfortably as his apprentice scrabbled for words.

"Well, um... Mace and I were um.. planning to see one of the um.. art shows tonight."

"I see. Which show?"

Qui-Gon swallowed hard. "The Trollia Glass exhibit, my master."

"Very beautiful exhibit it is. Quite fragile their art is."

"Yes Master, it is." He squirmed a bit more under his master's gaze then stammered, "Well, I have to meet Mace now. I don't wish to be late."

Yoda nodded. "Very well, padawan. Enjoy the exhibit." Qui-Gon palmed the door open again when Yoda stopped him again. "Qui-Gon."

"Master?"

A strange smile curled on the master's lips. "Transfer 50 additional credits to your chip I will, In case see something you like, you do."

Qui-Gon nodded, blushing brightly. "Thank you, master. I'll be back early."

Yoda waited until the door slid shut before cackling with amusement.




"He knew, Mace! Gods, he'll kill me."

"You told your master?" Mace near yelled.

"No, but he knew. He even gave me 50 extra credits for my voucher."

"What?" Mace shook his head.

"For the 'art exhibit' if I saw anything I wanted." Qui-Gon flopped on the bench by the transport station. "This was a bad idea."

"No it isn't. Qui, we both agreed to this."

"You talked me into it!"

"It didn't take much..." Mace put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Qui, we both want to get it over with..."

Qui-Gon snorted. "Get it over with? Gods, Mace, its not like it's a burden or a duty."

"It is a burden," Mace protested. "I've been trying for Adi for the last 5 cycles. And now she's with Rees." Mace squared his shoulders. "We need to do this. And where better to learn from than Junon's place?"

"This is a not a good idea, Mace."

"Trust me, Qui-Gon. I know what I'm doing."




"Enjoyed the show did you, padawan?" Yoda asked as Qui-Gon stumbled through the door.

"Not really, master," he answered honestly.

"Afraid of that I was," He pointed his gimmer stick at the low bench next to him and poured a small cup of tea. "Closed the exhibit has been for several weeks."

Qui-Gon nodded solemnly seating himself across from his master. "Yes master, I know."

"Lied you did, Qui-Gon. Why?" The young man shrugged, knowing it was hardly the answer his master wanted. Yoda sipped his tea thoughtfully, letting the silence settle, then asked. "To Junon's you went, hmm?"

Qui-Gon nodded, sinking deeper into the chair. Junon's was one of the more notorious pleasure houses on Coruscant.

"Your first, you wanted with a pleasure worker?" His master was watching him curiously.

"No," he said quickly. "That is, I don't anymore..."

"Changed your mind you did? Why?"

"Because um..." he stammered, turning his gaze to his boots before mumbling something unintelligible.

"Padawan..."

"Because we um... that is Mace and I um..." He stole a glance at Yoda. "Master Plo Koon was there."

Yoda started coughing loudly in between cackles. "Plo Koon, randy Jedi he is. Mellowed he has over time. Thank the Force." Yoda chuckled louder. "Many times to his aid have I gone, and never once in battle."

Qui-Gon stared at his master in disbelief. "Master?"

"Twileks, padawan. Four he contracted one evening. More than enough were two. Other two felt slighted..."

"Master, please" he groaned, the mental image of twin tentacles causing his stomach to cringe.

Yoda whacked his shin. "Paid them I did, padawan! In your pants is your mind." Pausing a moment for effect, he raised one brow. "Strong in the Force I am, but not that strong." He cackled again, and this time Qui-Gon smiled too, chuckling softly.

"I am truly sorry for lying to you. It was not fitting of a Jedi."

Yoda graced him with a knowing smile. "These days, difficult they will be. Not so old am I, not to know this. Talk we can, if you wish, padawan."

"Thank you master, but I can handle this." Qui-Gon rose and bowed deeply to his master. Excusing himself, he went to his room. Pausing at the door, he turned back, "Twileks?"

"Twins."

"Master, you are a stronger man than I."

"Hrmph, if strong I was, my money's worth I would have gotten."

Qui-Gon grinned and closed the door, his master's laughter still ringing in his ears.




"Oh, gods, it was unbelievable," Adi said in a stage whisper to a group of female padawans seated in the common area.

"You can't just say that and not give details!"

"Adi, you tease, tell already!"

Qui-Gon sat reviewing his datapad, vainly trying to ignore Adi's rather detailed description of his friend's prowess. Mace sat across from him, fuming.

"I can't believe it. Adi will have them lining up for Rees, and we can't even get into a--" he paused, glancing around. "a pleasure house."

"Mace would you please stop? We have an astrochem exam after noonmeal." Qui-Gon growled.

"It doesn't bother you?"

Qui-Gon put down the pad and glared. "No, it doesn't. Now will you please pick up your notes so we can attempt to pass this test?"

Mace reluctantly picked up his reader and switched it on and started reading. Adi's voice carried over to the relative silence.

"And his mouth... Gods, Tamz," she sighed, lashes fluttering against her cheeks and causing a collective sigh from the ladies.

Just then Rees entered the room, carrying his datareaders and gear bag. He walked over to the table where Qui-Gon sat. "Astrochem?" he asked softly.

Qui-Gon nodded and cleared off a spot for him. "Rees, I'm sorry about..."

Rees stopped him. "Forget about it. It's fine." He glanced up at Adi, who, along with the four other girls seated with her, watched him walk in with dreamy looks in their eyes. Adi smiled and winked at him. He grinned shyly in return, the color seeping into his cheeks.

Mace raised an eyebrow. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Huh? Oh, you mean with Adi?" His color deepened. "It was... nice."

"Nice? Just nice?" Mace's eyes about fell out of his head. "Details, man, I want details!"

Rees cleared his throat, tugging at the neck of his tunic. "It was... really nice... Can we please change the subject?"

Qui-Gon took pity on his friend. "Yes, please." He handed Rees a pad. "How much do you know about Tiermouc's theory of planetary evolution?"

"Rees?"

Rees, Mace and Qui-Gon turned towards the soft feminine voice. "Oh, good day, Raula."

"Could I talk to you?" she near whispered. "Alone?"

Rees stood and escorted her to one of the balconies, very aware of the watchful eyes of their friends.

"He's doing it again." Mace growled.

"Would you leave off already?"

"And at this rate, the only way we'll get to is if we do each other!" And Mace stopped, eyes wide, then turned slowly to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon felt that sinking feeling again.

"C'mon Qui."

"No."

"You want to..."

"You're obsessed."

"You can't tell me you never thought about it."

"Of course I have."

"Then why not?"

"Mace..."

Mace stopped in the hall and faced his friend. "Think about it a second. We're both friends. We're both attractive. We both have thought about it before..."

"I've also thought about diving off the temple spires, but I'm not going to do it anytime soon!"

"I'm not asking you to dive of the spires."

"Mace..."

"All I'm asking is for one of my closest friends to share my first time..."

A heavy silence fell between them. Then Qui-Gon sighed.

"When?"




"Qui-Gon, your duties in the morning, much rest you will need."

Qui-Gon nodded, fixing his tunic for the third time. "Yes master, I know. Mace and I just wanted to meet for an hour or so."

"More studying you have to do?"

"Uh, no master."

Yoda pierced him with another intense stare. "Qui-Gon, how feel you?"

"Fine, master, just a little nervous." He caught himself and added quickly, "I've never escorted anyone around the temple by myself before. Mace was going to um.. help me plot out a nice tour for the morning."

"Padawan..."

"I have to go, master, I don't want to be late..." He grabbed his saber, then set it down, then grabbed it again, hesitating. Clutching it in his hand, he walked quickly out the door.




Mace rented a room close to the temple and was waiting for Qui-Gon in a chair by the bed.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Um, can I come in?"

Mace finally remembered where he was and let his friend in, closing the door tightly behind him.

"No problems with your master?"

"None. How bout you?"

"No, he just doesn't want me staying out late."

"Yeah, mine too." Another awkward pause. "So... how did you do on the astrochem test?"

"I passed."

"Me too."

Qui-Gon set his saber on the table. "Well, I guess we've run through the customary small talk." He forced a smile.

"Yeah, now we can get to the... uh..."

"Yeah..."

Another pause. Qui-Gon took the initiative.

"You start."

"Me start?"

"It was your idea."

Mace stopped short. "Oh yeah, right." He looked around. "I guess we should get comfortable," shrugging out of his robe. Qui-Gon stared for half a beat then followed suit.

Mace sat on the edge of the bed. "Um... I brought some vids for us to watch, you know, to get in the mood. They're on the stand right there."

Qui-Gon folded his robe tightly and set it on the chair. "Good idea." Picking up the cases, he read the titles: Good Enough to Eat, Rock Hard, Once Upon a Mattress...

"Gunganette Goes Global?"

"It's actually not bad, Qui. Throw it in."

Qui-Gon stared at Mace a moment, then reluctantly slid the card into the player. The music started and Gunganette appeared, flashing her tongue and cleavage.

"Meesa berry good... Meesa want yousa..."

Qui-Gon stopped the chip. "I'm going to be sick."

"Qui, that's a quality skinvid!"

"No vids, Mace, please," he said, sinking onto the edge of the bed.

Mace moved to his side. "Ok no more vids." They sat quietly for a few moments. "So now what?"

Qui-Gon shrugged. "I don't know, I'm new at this too."

"Well what do you do on dates right about now?"

"I guess I'd start with a kiss."

Another pause and they looked up into each other's eyes. Mace moved first, leaning in slowly. Qui-Gon leaned too, licking his lips. So close...

"Ow!"

"You were supposed to tilt your head to the right, Mace."

"I was tilting to your right!"

"Your right, my left!" Qui-Gon leaned back while Mace gingerly touched his nose.

"At least it's not broken." Mace went to the fresher mirror to check the damage. Qui-Gon went to the kitchenette for a cold pack.

"Wanna try that again?"

Qui-Gon handed him the ice. "Try what?"

"That kiss again."

"Mace, I don't know..." Mace silenced the objection by pressing his lips to Qui-Gon's. They stood together, kissing softly. Mace eased his arms around Qui-Gon's waist. Qui-Gon rested his hands on his partner's arms. Mace's hands went to Qui-Gon's belt, reaching to unfasten it.

"Qui, what the Sith did you do to this buckle?"

"Huh?"

"I can't get it open." Mace bent lower to get a better look at the clasp.

"Here, let me..." Qui-Gon leaned over just as Mace straightened up. The resulting impact sent blood gushing from Qui-Gon's nose.

"Gods, I'm so sorry!"

"Emmmee du eythsss..."

Mace rushed back to the fresher and brought back the coldpack... "Here, let me..." he said, smashing it painfully into Qui-Gon's nose.

"AAAAAAARRRRG!" Qui-Gon scrambled away, bumping into the table, knocking the vase of flowers onto the floor and sending his saber flying. Right into Mace's forehead.

"OW! Sith hells Qui, what was that for?"

"What do you mean? You think I meant to do thaAAAA..." he hit the floor, his legs tangled in the heap that was Mace's robe.

"Qui-Gon, wait..."

Qui-Gon crawled to the door. "No! I mean no, that's fine. This was a bad idea to begin with. Just hand me my saber, and we'll forget this ever happened."

Mace cautiously handed over the weapon and watched his friend crawl out the door.




Yoda was waiting with an ice pack.

"Padawan. Talk we will."

"Master..."

"Know I do, left behind by your friends you feel..."

"It's not that, master," he said, gently placing the pack on his nose.

"Then what?"

He sighed. "I suppose that's part of it. Rees is the last one I thought would have his first before the rest of us. He's so focused and straight-laced."

"And have those urges he cannot?"

Qui-Gon snorted. "Rees doesn't have any of those urges."

"And what of me, padawan. Those feelings I have too, yet know I do you find that impossible."

Qui-Gon looked at his master. "No offence master, but you are over 700 years old."

"Old, yes, but not dead."

Qui-Gon chuckled again. "I'm sorry, master, I don't mean to laugh..."

"Yes you do. Good it is to laugh of this. Your first, memorable it should be. Good feeling it should give you." Yoda smiled then. "Rush, you should not, padawan. Happen it will, when right is the time. Until then, enjoy."

Qui-Gon nodded. Watching his master carefully, he asked, "Master?"

"Hmmm?"

"Was yours?"

Yoda's face lit, and a slow smile spread across his face. His ears tilted upward as he remembered. "Yes, padawan. It was... And so will yours be."

Qui-Gon grinned at the wizened old Jedi. Then standing slowly, he limped to his room.




"This is Lady Thanna, Lords Geal and Brante, Lady Srutha, and Lady Katinele. They are from the ruling house of Tanis." The ambassador gestured to Qui-Gon. "This is Padawan Qui-Gon Jinn, apprentice to Master Yoda, the head of the Jedi council."

The young people bowed formally. Qui-Gon said, "It is an honor and a privilege."

"But not a pleasure?" Lady Srutha teased.

Qui-Gon offered quickly, "I meant no offence..."

Lord Brante laughed. "Ruth is playing with you, Qui-Gon. She teases everyone."

Qui-Gon smiled. "I've made arrangements for the cliffside gardens, as the ambassador requested."

"Excellent." Brante offered his arm to Srutha, Geal to Thanna. Qui-Gon turned to Katinele, who took his arm with a shy smile. Qui-Gon smiled in return.

"The Jedi temple was built before the formal establishment of government on Coruscant..."




His guests were impressed by his knowledge and his quick wit and made sure he knew it. Katinele rarely left his side and asked questions in such a soft voice, he had to lean closer to hear her. Not that he minded; she had a sly sense of humor that they all enjoyed. Geal was quiet as well and very serious; he reminded Qui-Gon of Rees. Brante in contrast, was boisterous, loud and self confident. Srutha flirted shamelessly with words, looks and touches that caused endless blushing on his part. Thanna seemed the most balanced, intelligent beyond her years and serious but with a rich laugh and sweet smile she graced him with all day.

They dined in the hall, telling stories from their travels, asking Qui-Gon about his life in the order, sharing bad jokes. In turn he asked about their own duties, sympathizing with them over boring state functions, public appearances, entertaining spoiled children with a smile. He felt an immediate kinship with them all.

Qui-Gon escorted them into the gardens. "We've closed this garden for the duration of your stay. You'll not be disturbed."

"Thank you Qui-Gon, for a wonderful tour," Thanna kissed his cheek.

"It was my pleasure, my lady," he replied, bowing low. He turned to leave.

"You're not going to stay?" Katinele asked, placing her hand on his arm..

"I was informed you'd be performing a ritual for your Gods. I don't wish to intrude."

Brante put a hand on his shoulder. "On the contrary, Qui-Gon, we'd be honored if you'd join us. It's rare that a non-Tanisian is included in these rites. But we very much want you to take part."

"If you wish, but why me?"

Srutha smiled "You are our friend. The ritual is to be shared with friends, and I for one would very much enjoy sharing it with you."

"As would I." Geal lit the small brazier in the garden. "I feel most in tuned to you, Qui-Gon. You have a fierce heart and a great sense of honor and tradition. I could not choose another more worthy."

"You are free to refuse, Qui-Gon," Thanna offered. "But it would please us greatly if you would join with us."

"Please?" Katinele asked shyly.

"I would be honored to join you then." The answering smiles eased any further reservations he had. "What type of rite is this?

"The rite of thanksgiving. To celebrate the lives the Gods gift us with."

Qui-Gon nodded. "You'll have to guide me. I'm afraid I'm not familiar with your customs."

Katinele smiled. "It would be our pleasure." And she drew him into a soft kiss.

Caught by surprise, he felt his body respond to the lush mouth that captured his, the hands that wound around his hips, the hands that brushed his hair from the nape of his neck, the lips tasting his skin...

"Gods..." he said, as many hands lowered him to the ground and slowly began to undress him. He pulled away gently, overwhelmed and breathless.

"Qui-Gon, we can stop if you like," Thanna whispered.

"It's not that, its... I, that is, I've never..."

Thanna smiled. "Neither have we. This is rite of passage for us as well, to celebrate life."

"May we share our first with you?" Geal asked again.

Qui-Gon looked at them in wonder, his body singing. It was right. He felt it in his soul.

"Please..."




They spent over 5 hours in the gardens, exploring each other, discovering themselves. Reality surpassed fantasy in this case. And above all, it felt right. Reluctantly they parted, promising to meet again. He kissed his lovers deeply before escorting them back to their transport.

Rees was right, he thought. It was like dying and not caring. And then dying again... and again... and again... He smiled at the thought.

He staggered past the dining hall towards his quarters. Adi's voice echoed through the doorway.

"You hired a socialator?" Adi squealed. Qui_Gon stopped and glanced into the hall. Mace, Rees and Adi were sitting around a small table.

Mace hid his head in his hood. "You don't have to tell the whole temple."

"I can't believe it." Spying his figure across the hall, Rees called "Qui-Gon, you'll never guess what Mace did last night!"

"What happened?" Qui-Gon asked, shuffling across the floor.

"He paid for it!" Adi giggled.

"Paid for what?"

"For sex!" she screamed, dissolving into giggles again.

Rees started to laugh in earnest. "Gods, Mace, a worldly, good looking padawan like yourself?"

Mace glared at them before pulling his hood back over his head.

"When did this happen?" Qui-Gon asked, still puzzled.

"Just after you left."

"Wha...? You were with Mace?" Adi asked.

"We were sparring. He broke my nose." Ignoring Rees curious stare, he glanced at Mace, he asked, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Was it worth it?"

Mace looked up, glared, and pulled his hood back over his head.

Qui-Gon laughed, then bid his friends good day. Staggering down the hall once more, he barely heard Mace's low hiss.

"Psst--

Qui-Gon turned slowly. "Yeah?"

"I feel bad about going out and you know, doing it like that. Without you, I mean."

"S'alright, Mace...."

"No, it's not. I want to make it up to you. I talked to Kara, the girl I met last night. She said she'll... you know, if you want."

"That's nice, Mace." He turned and started down the hall again. Mace stopped him again.

"Qui-Gon, what's wrong? Don't you want to?"

"Not tonight Mace, I have a headache." He smiled at his friends stunned look, then bumbled off to his quarters.

end