Master Apprentice Archive Hope's Rebirth Quick search:

Hope's Rebirth

by The Rose (rosarocaminis@yahoo.com)

It was another tenday before Obi-Wan dared to approach his master sexually again. Even then, it was nothing more than a good morning kiss. He had taken to sleeping in Qui-Gon's bed, not in the hopes of anything happening between them, but because he couldn't bear the thought of sleeping alone.

Stop lying to yourself, Kenobi, he thought bitterly. It's not being alone that terrifies you. It's being unprotected.

That was a terrible thing for a knight of the Order to admit, much less to feel. He had been trained from the time he was a little boy to be independent, confident, and well able to take care of himself. He'd been a knight for six years, for Force's sake! Why was he acting like a crechling?

"Because you suffered a terrible ordeal," Qui-Gon said softly. Obi-Wan looked up, feeling his face color as he realized he'd been broadcasting again. What in the Sith had happened to his shields? Qui-Gon reached out and stroked callused fingertips across his cheek. "I wish you'd consent to see the Mind Healer."

Obi-Wan sat up abruptly, wrestling with the bedclothes that had somehow gotten wound around his hips. "We've discussed this," he answered brusquely.

"No, I've discussed it. You've merely refused."

"I don't want someone probing into my mind! Most of all, I don't want to have to remember -" He broke off, afraid he'd said too much, and threw himself out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower."

Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan walk away, noticing the tight, almost trembling muscles of his shoulders and upper back. He longed to go to him, to soothe them away by any means necessary, but he didn't dare. His touch reminded Obi-Wan too much of Xell's, though Qui-Gon was at a loss to understand why.

I'd never hurt him. Surely he must know that, he thought, hearing the 'fresher door close and the lock being engaged. But, I did hurt him, didn't I, six years ago in the Council Chamber? He still thinks I set him aside for Anakin. He never did believe that he was actually ready for his trials, that I had been putting it off - holding him back - for purely selfish reasons. I didn't want to let go of him. Tensions between us rose so high, and I was so busy with the mission, with Anakin, that I never took the time to set things right between us. And then, I was injured, and he was knighted and sent on a mission before I was even out of the healer's.

With a sigh, Qui-Gon got out of bed, tugging impatiently at the leggings he had slept in. That was something else that had changed. He'd always preferred to sleep in the nude, unencumbered by the restriction of clothes. But, he did not want to roll over in the night and subject his traumatized former padawan to the feel of his naked flesh. Especially not when a touch - any touch - would awaken Obi-Wan and make him flinch away.

Qui-Gon glanced at the chrono as he began to dress. It was high time he was up, anyway. His guest would be arriving soon. He slipped out of his bedroom and found his padawan already awake and eating breakfast.

"Good morning, Master."

"Good morning, Anakin. How are you this morning?"

The young man gave a slight shrug. "Okay, I guess."

Qui-Gon turned his full attention on his apprentice. "Is there something on your mind?"

Anakin nodded. "I can't help but notice that there's still a lot of tension between you and Obi-Wan. I had thought that once you, well, once you started, you know, that he'd be all right."

"Exactly what do you think is happening between us?"

Anakin made an impatient noise in the back of this throat, and shot his master a sly smile. "Master, I'm not entirely ignorant. I know enough to know that when two people care deeply about each other and share a bed that there's more than sleeping going on."

"How old are you again?" Qui-Gon asked in mock outrage. .

Anakin let loose a short laugh. "I may be only fifteen, but I know how things work - and when something's not working." He looked at his master probingly. "It's not working between you and Obi-Wan, is it?"

Qui-Gon sobered and glanced at the still closed 'fresher door. "No, padawan, it's not."

Anakin followed his gaze. "When is he going to admit that he needs help?"

Qui-Gon shook his head sadly. "Never, perhaps."

"Then you're going to have to do something."

The master smiled slightly at his student's astuteness. "As a matter of fact, Anakin, I already have." The door chime sounded at that very moment, and Qui-Gon glanced at Anakin. "Don't you have class?"

The boy grinned. "Yes, Master. I was just leaving." On his way out, he opened the front door to admit a short, rather rotund man with a nearly bald head and a gray goatee. He bowed respectfully. "Good morning, Healer Aystan." He glanced over his shoulder to where the sound of the shower had finally cut off, then added softly as he slipped out the door, "Good luck."

Qui-Gon stepped forward and offered his hand to Aystan in greeting. "Thank you for coming. He refuses to go to you, so -"

The healer waved one hand mildly. "No need to explain, Qui-Gon. I quite understand Obi-Wan's reticence. He doesn't not wish to discuss his feelings."

"Not even with me."

"That's to be expected." He glanced toward the 'fresher. "I take it he doesn't know I'm coming?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, and I'm afraid he may be less than pleased."

Aystan nodded. "I'd like to tell you, Qui-Gon, that this will be easy, but I'm certain you know it won't be. Please, do not interfere, though, even if you feel I'm being unnecessarily cruel. I must try to draw Obi-Wan out."

"I understand."

The door opened and Obi-Wan stepped out, still damp from his shower. He had put his sleep pants back on, and had a towel draped across his shoulders, his hair wet and tousled. His eyes widened when he saw their visitor, then narrowed. Still, he had the good grace to bow. "Good morning, Healer Aystan. I don't suppose I have to ask what brings you here."

"Hello, Obi-Wan. No, I'm sure you don't. Qui-Gon asked me to stop by and talk with you."

"With all due respect, I don't wish to talk."

Aystan nodded, but gestured toward a chair anyway. "I sympathize, but this won't take long. If you'd be so kind as to have a seat -"

"No."

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon began, but the knight cut him off.

"I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, I'm quite all right. Now, if you'll excuse me . . ." He turned as if to leave.

"Padawan! You will sit down and talk to Healer Aystan!"

Obi-Wan spun on his heel, his eyes shooting daggers. "You're no longer my master, and therefore no longer able to dictate to me!"

Qui-Gon nodded, holding eye contact despite the vehemence of the look he was getting. "But I am still a Jedi Master, and therefore your superior. You will obey me."

Obi-Wan stiffened. "I. Will. Not." He turned again, slinging the dripping towel away in the direction of the 'fresher.

"You will sit down and talk," Qui-Gon said, raising his voice, "or I will tie you to the chair!"

That stopped Obi-Wan in his tracks. He turned, very slowly, his gaze as full of rage as Qui-Gon had ever seen it. Finally, a veil seemed to fall over him, his expression changing to one of casual indifference, and he crossed to the nearest chair. Sitting down, he folded his arms over his chest, set his jaw, and stared at the floor between his feet.

The healer, who had remained wisely silent through this exchange, took a seat opposite him and leaned forward companionably. "Why don't you tell me what happened to you during your captivity?"

There was not so much as a flicker of reaction from Obi-Wan, so Aystan tried again. "I've read your medical records, so I'm aware of the terrible pain you suffered, the tortures inflicted upon you. And, he raped you as well, is that correct?"

Again, Obi-Wan remained silent. Qui-Gon opened his mouth to speak, to demand that Obi-Wan answer, but Aystan waved him to silence. The healer pulled out a small datapad and activated its screen. "Hmm, let's see. You were on a rack when they found you, weren't you? And, from the dislocated hips and shoulders, and the torn muscles all along your ribs, I'd say you were tortured quite often with it."

Qui-Gon watched as the knight's hands clinched into fists, but still he did not reply. Aystan, meanwhile, was still scrolling through his notes.

"They say your cheekbone was shattered. How was that done, Obi-Wan? Oh, and a couple of ribs, too, I see. There was some bruising to indicate that perhaps a wedge of some sort was used. Is that right?"

Obi-Wan drew his lower lip between his teeth, biting down on it.

"Your right hand was shattered, and each finger broken. Healer Vortrela says they had quite a time fitting all the bone fragments back together."

A thin sheen of perspiration had developed on Obi-Wan's forehead. Qui-Gon longed to wipe it away, to draw the young man into his arms and comfort him, but he didn't dare. He had to let the mind healer do his work, however painful it was for all of them. He couldn't suppress a wince, however, at Aystan's next words.

"Your genitals were abused as well, weren't they? Whipped, apparently, and there were some burns that indicate perhaps electricity was used on them. And, your urethra was abraded. Obviously, something too large for the passageway was shoved up into it. How many times was that done, Obi-Wan?"

The knight's hands began to tremble, and he tucked them into his armpits to steady them, slumping further forward in his chair. Qui-Gon found himself wanting to do the same.

Aystan was still reading from his datapad. "This is interesting. 'Lacerations and bruising of the tissues inside the mouth, and tearing at the corners of the mouth.' What did he do, Obi-Wan, clamp your mouth open? Did he rape you orally, too? Did he force himself down your throat? Is that what he did, Obi-Wan?"

Qui-Gon felt bile rise into his mouth, and resolutely forced it down. He had not known what all had been done to his former padawan, knew only of the injuries he'd seen. And, the young man had never spoken of it to anyone. The Jedi master dug his nails into the palms of his hands and forced himself to remain silent.

"You were caned, as well, weren't you, all across your back and shoulders? And, he cut you. No, actually, he tried to skin you. Did he cut away the skin on your chest, Obi-Wan, or did he peel it off? That's what the healers that treated you thought." Aystan's eyes squinted as he read on. "Oh, and I see that he pierced your eardrums and your eyes. Oh, my. That must have hurt, I'm certain."

Obi-Wan began to rock in his chair, clearly distraught. Yet, still, he held his silence.

"I'm certain you felt quite helpless, didn't you? There was bruising and tearing in your anus from the rape. Did you beg for him to stop? The pain must have been unendurable, especially coupled with all your other injuries. Were you still stretched on the rack when he raped you? Were your shoulders and hips already dislocated at that point? Did you plead with him to kill you, just to end the pain? Did you give up, maybe even break under all his torture?"

Obi-Wan's breath was coming in short, shallows pants, when Aystan added one finally comment. "There is one thing that's really bothering me. Why didn't you fight back? Why did you just lie there and take it?"

The tension that the healer had so skillfully been building finally snapped, and Obi-Wan leaped to his feet. "I couldn't fight him, don't you understand?" he screamed, his face flushing bright red. "I tried! Oh, Force, I tried so hard! But I was Force-blocked and overpowered, helpless! Every morning, the droids came in and strapped me to the rack! They were too strong! After the first or second day, I was too badly injured to fight them! Yes, I screamed for him to stop! I begged him to kill me. Anything to make it stop! Yes, I broke! You would have broken, too!"

His gaze grew distant, as if his mind was transporting him back to that place. He cupped his hands over his face, pressing his palms into eyes that Qui-Gon knew still hurt him at times. When he spoke again, his voice was so hushed that the two men across from him had to strain to hear him.

"I never knew that the human body was capable of feeling such pain and surviving. The drug his droids pumped into me every morning kept me from touching the Force. I couldn't draw on it for strength, not even to ease the pain or heal the terrible injuries he was inflicting on me. I was alone, and I knew I would die without anyone ever being the wiser."

He lowered his hands, and Qui-Gon was horrified to see tears welling from his eyes. His face darkened with rage, as if the few moments before had only been the calm between storms. "I was a fool to be taken as easily as I was!" he screamed. "But, once he had me, there was no escape! Yes, I begged for death! I knew that was the only way that I'd be free of the agony! I knew no one would come looking for me, or even care if I was gone!"

"How can you say that?" Qui-Gon demanded, unable to hold his silence any longer. "Lots of people would have cared! I would have cared!"

Obi-Wan blinked to clear his vision, then took a single step forward, sinking to his knees before his former master. "Forgive me for failing you, Qui-Gon. Forgive me for not being strong enough."

Qui-Gon dropped to the floor as well and captured the knight's face between his large hands. Obi-Wan collapsed against him, and the master wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. "Oh, padawan, there is nothing to forgive. You're the bravest, strongest, most accomplished knight I've ever met, and I am more proud of you than you could possibly know." He held the younger man as he sobbed out his grief.

It was many long minutes later, when the flow of tears seemed to be abating, before Qui-Gon realized that Aystan had left, slipping quietly out of their quarters without a word. He gently shushed Obi-Wan, kissing his forehead and the sweat-dampened hair above his ear, rocking him as he sometimes had when Obi-Wan was just a boy. Finally, with a hitching breath, the knight quieted.

"Better now?" Qui-Gon asked softly.

The head pressed against his chest nodded jerkily before Obi-Wan looked up. His red-rimmed eyes searched Qui-Gon's. "Are you really proud of me?" he asked, his voice breaking a little on the words, sounding like the little boy he had been years ago.

"Of course I am. You never need doubt that." And to prove it, he leaned down and softly captured Obi-Wan's mouth with his.

Like a starving man, Obi-Wan returned the kiss, deepening it as if drinking from Qui-Gon's very soul. The master felt his body responding, his leggings growing tight as his cock swelled. "We shouldn't," he began, breaking away for a moment.

"Need you," Obi-Wan said, diving in for another kiss. He began to tug at Qui-Gon's clothes, parting his tunics so he could caress the lightly furred skin of his chest. "Want you-"

"I want you, too, but -" The comm unit buzzed, cutting Qui-Gon off. He caught Obi-Wan's shoulders and set him away, planting one parting kiss on his forehead as he rose to answer the summons. It was Mace.

"We've captured Xell," he said briefly. "He was badly injured and probably dying. Could you bring Obi-Wan down to identify him?"

Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder. The young man who had been so filled with passion a moment before now stood ramrod straight, his eyes blazing with apprehension. But, at Qui-Gon's look, he nodded grimly.

"We'll be right there." Qui-Gon switched off the connection and held out one hand. "I'll stay with you, if you wish."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard and nodded again, though he drew his lower lip between his teeth. He took his former master's hand and squeezed it in silent thanks, then released it and drew his serenity around him. "Let's go."

The Healer's Ward was nearly deserted with they arrived. Mace and Yoda stood outside a curtained room, talking softly between themselves. They fell silent as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan approached, and Mace reached to open the door.

Obi-Wan crept toward the bed, folding his hands to stop their trembling, but he knew before even looking upon the man's face that this was his torturer. Xell was breathing shallowly, one half of his torso covered in bacta packs. He opened his eyes weakly and blinked up at Obi-Wan.

"So, we meet again, my little Jedi." His voice was soft, with a heavy undercurrent of pain, despite the strong drugs he must be on. His gaze flickered to Qui-Gon, standing close at Obi-Wan's shoulder. "And is this the master that you kept praying would come and help you? The one you're in love with?"

Obi-Wan blinked, taking half a step back, stopping only when Qui-Gon's strong hands settled on his shoulders. "How did you know --?"

"I know a lot about you, little Jedi," Xell said with a slight smile. He shifted on the bed and winced, closing his eyes until the pain subsided. When he opened them, he studied Obi-Wan's face. "Tell me, has your lover fucked that delicious mouth of yours yet?"

Qui-Gon growled and started to step around Obi-Wan, his hands knotting into fists, but the knight held out an arm to stop him. "You cannot hurt me any more, Xell," he said softly.

"That's a pity. You do suffer beautifully." Xell's breath hitched in his chest, and he went suddenly pale. "I'm afraid your Jedi friends may have fatally wounded me, Obi-Wan."

"Tell me who hired you."

Xell's smile returned briefly. "I can't do that. But, I will tell you this. He was very unhappy with my failure, and he's hired another to finish the job." His eyes grew hard as he gazed up at Obi-Wan. "I'd watch my back if I were you."

Suddenly, Xell stiffened, sucking in a noisy breath as all of the monitoring machines went off. Their shrill sirens brought the healers, but Xell was already gone. As a sheet was drawn up over the body, Qui-Gon caught Obi-Wan's shoulders and turned him away.

The walk back to Qui-Gon's quarters was spent in silence. Once the door closed behind them, however, Qui-Gon turned to gaze down into Obi-Wan's face. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

Obi-Wan nodded. "I just - I don't know how to feel. I don't want to feel good that he's dead, or that he suffered at the end, but -"

"But," Qui-Gon finished when he couldn't, "you wouldn't be human if you weren't relieved that he was no longer a threat."

The knight raised his eyes to meet his former master's. "But, another has been hired," he said, wrapping his arms around himself to ward off a sudden chill. Immediately, Qui-Gon stepped forward and embraced him.

"Then we shall have to be ever watchful." He pulled Obi-Wan close, his cheek pressing against the top of the younger man's head. "You will go on no solo missions until this threat has been neutralized, and the person behind it caught. You have my word on that, Council be damned."

"I don't want to hide like a frightened child -"

"And, you won't. Anakin and I have at least two missions upcoming, both of which require a third Jedi. I shall make certain that you are that Jedi."

Obi-Wan drew in a shaky breath, ashamed of himself for taking comfort in his master's protection, but needing it all the same. He nodded against Qui-Gon's tunics then pulled away to meet his eyes again. "Speaking of Anakin, what time will he be back?"

"Not until close to late meal," Qui-Gon said. "He has classes well into the afternoon."

Obi-Wan slid his arms around Qui-Gon's waist, holding him close when he would have retreated, and rose onto his tiptoes to kiss him softly. To his delight, the master responded, his breath washing over Obi-Wan's face as he deepened the kiss, his tongue lightly tracing the younger man's lips. Driven by the need for air, Obi-Wan finally broke the kiss and found himself desperately, painfully aroused. He looked up into blue eyes gone dark with passion and knew that Qui-Gon was feeling the same. He allowed a smile to tug at his lips.

"I do love you, Qui-Gon Jinn," he said.

"And I love you." Qui-Gon's gaze swept down the length of Obi-Wan's body and paused at the strained and tented fabric of his leggings. "But you're scarcely recovered enough for that."

"I think I can handle it, now," Obi-Wan said, rocking his hips forward, pressing his erection against an answering hardness. "I want you. Please. Please make love to me."

The Jedi Master looked at him uncertainly. "Are you certain?"

Instead of answering, Obi-Wan caught his master's hand and led him to the bedroom. He removed Qui-Gon's tunics, letting his fingertips brush the skin beneath and reveling in the shudder the touch caused. He eased Qui-Gon backwards until he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Watch me," he said.

Slowly, he undressed, throwing each garment into the corner with a flick of his hand, until he was down only to his leggings. Pushing Qui-Gon's knees apart, he sank to the floor between them. Holding his master's gaze, he untied Qui-Gon's leggings and freed his huge erection. He gazed at it for a long moment, watching it twitch in rhythmic little pulses. He caught it in one hand and dragged a fingertip lightly across the head, taking the time to fully appreciate the impressive organ he held.

Not like Xell's at all, he thought, This is Qui-Gon, the man I've loved since I was a teenager. Suddenly, just touching wasn't enough. Leaning forward, he gently licked the tip.

The flavor that was uniquely Qui-Gon exploded in his mouth, making his senses reel. He teased at the little slit with the tip of his tongue, hearing a satisfying groan of appreciation from above him. Wanting to hear more of it, he took the head in his mouth and sucked lightly.

Hands found his head, fingers slipping through his hair and caressing his scalp, but making no attempt to hold him in place. "So very good," Qui-Gon groaned. Encouraged, the knight began to suckle, using his tongue on the underside. Through their bond, he felt his master's struggle for control, felt the abortive thrusts of his hips.

"Careful, beloved," Qui-Gon moaned after a moment. "I'm an old man and will be good for only one time tonight."

Obi-Wan pulled away long enough to answer. "I'll show you old." And he swallowed the other's cock to the root. With a stifled shout, Qui-Gon came, his hands tightening in Obi-Wan's hair almost painfully. The knight milked his master dry, but even then, he didn't release him, sucking languidly until the flesh began to lengthen and fill once more.

//See?// he said directly into his lover's mind. //Not so old as you believe.//

Only when Qui-Gon's cock was fully erect again did he back off, giving one final kiss to the head before leaning back. He looked up to meet those amazingly blue eyes. "I want you, Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon nodded, though there was uncertainty in his eyes. He rose to shimmy out of his leggings, then helped remove Obi-Wan's as well. Careful of his still healing wounds, Obi-Wan stretched out on the bed, patting the mattress beside him. Qui-Gon joined him, supporting himself on one elbow, and reached out with his free hand to caress Obi-Wan's chest, fingertips brushing a nipple and sending little jolts of electricity through the knight. "I have dreamed of this for so long," he said.

"As have I," Obi-Wan breathed, grateful that so far the tension he expected hadn't returned. Perhaps that was behind him now. He laid a hand over Qui-Gon's and moved it down his body to his aching cock. He hissed when the callused fingers grasped him gently.

The touch didn't remind him of Xell's this time. It was gentle, light, loving, where the torturer's had been rough and demanding. Qui-Gon's fingers teased him until he thought he would explode. He bucked up into the touch, convinced that he would die if he didn't get to come soon. Abruptly, Qui-Gon released him and rolled off the bed.

Obi-Wan groaned in frustration.

His master merely smiled. "Roll over," he said softly, moving to the nightstand and pulling a jar of something from the drawer.

There was a brief moment of fear as Obi-Wan turned face down on the bed. His erection wilted instantly at the familiarity of this position. Not Xell, he told himself desperately. This is not Xell! Qui-Gon returned and settled across the back of his thighs, the tip of his erection just brushing the knight's cleft as he leaned forward. But instead of driving into him as his torturer had done, Qui-Gon's strong hands, slick with oil, found Obi-Wan's shoulders and began kneading away the tension there.

Gradually, Obi-Wan relaxed. Soon, he was nearly purring in contentment, as knots and kinks he hadn't known were there faded under his master's touch.

"Good?" Qui-Gon murmured, his voice a deep rumble that Obi-Wan could feel in his bones.

"Mm hmmm."

The hands moved lower, onto his back, fingers tracing the length of fading scars then massaging the muscle beneath them. As Qui-Gon's attention drifted even lower, Obi-Wan felt his erection firming again. Qui-Gon shifted, sliding down Obi-Wan's legs, and the young knight nearly exploded off the bed at the first touch of a hot, moist tongue in his crack.

"Force, Qui-Gon!" he shouted, torn between thrusting backwards into that touch and grinding deeper into the mattress, seeking the friction his cock so desperately wanted.

There was a chuckle against his skin, and the hands that had guided and molded and comforted him since he was thirteen spread him open. The tongue dipped deeper, breaching his anus, and Obi-Wan trembled.

//Don't come,// Qui-Gon warned, his mind voice laced with equal measures of amusement and arousal. He pressed in deeper, briefly, before replacing his tongue with one oiled finger. He pushed it inside slowly, the drag of his calluses adding to the sensation.

It had never felt like this before. Though he'd had sex with several others, most of them fellow padawans, none of them had ever made him tingle all over like this, had ever made his toes curl or his hands claw at the sheets like this. His cock throbbed beneath him, trapped under his weight.

The single digit was withdrawn and replaced carefully with two. Obi-Wan felt his breath catch in his throat at the slight burn it caused. Instantly Qui-Gon halted, neither pressing deeper or withdrawing.

"Padawan?"

"It's all right," Obi-Wan assured him. "I'm just still a little tender, that's all."

"Do you wish to stop? We can do this another time, when you're fully healed."

"No!" Obi-Wan gasped, turning his head as best he could to meet his master's eyes. "No, please. Please don't stop. I need this so badly. I want this."

The older man nodded and slowly began to push his fingers deeper. "You must try to relax," he said, the thumb of his free hand stroking Obi-Wan's hip in a soothing circle.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and blew it out, releasing some of his tension with it. There was still a little discomfort, but it was slowly lessening. Suddenly anxious for the preparation to be done with, he pushed backwards, impaling himself fully.

Again, Qui-Gon halted, and Obi-Wan felt his gentle mind touch assessing his state of mind.

//I'm fine,// he sent back. He squirmed his hips impatiently, gasping a little as the tip of a blunt nail scraped across his prostate. "You needn't be so careful. I won't break."

Instantly, Obi-Wan closed his eyes at the images that phrase evoked. He had broken. He remembered lying on that rack, stretched so tightly that his joints had dislocated, and he could hear himself screaming and begging for mercy.

As expected, Qui-Gon intercepted his thoughts. "Begging for mercy and wishing for the pain to stop is not the same as breaking," he said, his two fingers beginning to slowly withdraw only to press in again.

"Isn't it?" the knight said bitterly. A fingertip dragged over his prostate again, and he gasped at the sensation.

"No."

"I wish I could believe that," Obi-Wan said, closing his eyes as pleasure finally overcame the slight discomfort of being filled.

"You will, eventually," Qui-Gon told him. "For now, you will have to trust me, and believe that what I tell you is the truth."

"I do trust you, my master." He shifted again. "More, please."

Obligingly, Qui-Gon added a third finger. There was real pain this time, and the younger man couldn't hold back a moan. Instantly, Qui-Gon pulled out, but only to add more lubricant and press in again. His entrance was smoother this time, and more comfortable, although there was still resistance. "Better?" the master asked after a moment.

"Yes," Obi-Wan breathed.

The fingers pumped in and out, sending little quivers of pleasure through him. Finally, he could take it no more. "Sith dammit, Qui-Gon!" he gasped. "If you don't take me now I'll . . ."

Withdrawing his fingers, Qui-Gon reared up, lifting Obi-Wan's legs and flipping him onto his back before positioning himself between the knight's sweat-slicked thighs. Gently, he lifted Obi-Wan's ankles onto his shoulders, hesitating only a moment before touching his cock to Obi-Wan's opening. Holding the knight's gaze, he pressed forward.

"Ohhhhhhh," Obi-Wan moaned throatily, feeling the slow burn of muscles stretching. His master's cock was even larger than it looked, and he felt as if he were being impaled on a tree trunk as it speared slowly into him. Not Xell, not Xell, not Xell, he repeated over and over in his head.

"Am I hurting you?" Qui-Gon asked.

Not wishing to lie, Obi-Wan said, "A little. You're hung like a bantha."

"I think you overestimate my size," Qui-Gon said around a tight chuckle, not going any deeper.

"You wouldn't say that, if you were in my position."

"Well, we'll have to explore that possibility later, won't we?" Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan's cock jumped at that thought. But, a moment later, when Qui-Gon pushed forward, the fear reasserted itself.

"This isn't working," Qui-Gon said, pulling out completely. Obi-Wan moaned in frustration, and the master leaned down to give him a gentle kiss. "Don't worry. I have an idea."

He dropped onto the bed and stretched out, rolling onto his back. "Straddle me," he instructed.

Obi-Wan complied. Swinging a leg over his master's hips, he gazed down at the sight beneath him. Qui-Gon's silvered hair was fanned out across the pillow, his lips slightly kiss swollen, his eyes dark with need but watching him carefully for signs of distress. Reaching between his legs, Obi-Wan grasped the massive erection and steadied it as he slowly lowered himself down.

Oh, yes, he thought as it filled him. He'd never bottomed this way before, and the feeling of being in control overcame even the memories of the rape. He kept shifting downward until he was fully impaled. Below him, Qui-Gon groaned.

"Force, Obi-Wan, you're tight."

The knight grinned. "No, it's just that you're so huge." He tensed his thighs and raised himself up, feeling Qui-Gon's hands settle on his hips to assist him. Soon, he was moving freely, rising and falling on his master's cock, speeding up his rhythm.

He knew neither of them could last long. As Qui-Gon began a low, rumbling moan, Obi-Wan shifted his hips slightly, allowing the head of Qui-Gon's cock to strike his prostate with each descent. He held off, keeping tight rein on his body, until his master's shuddering groan and the burst of wet heat inside him told him the older man had come.

Obi-Wan joined him in the next moment, crying out his lover's name as he sprayed his seed over the heaving chest beneath him. He dropped straight down into arms that caught him and rolled him to the side. For a long moment, they lay there, too sated to move. Finally, Qui-Gon leaned over and kissed Obi-Wan softly.

"I love you," he said.

"Mmmm. And I love you." Obi-Wan snuggled into the crook of Qui-Gon's shoulder, his body craving sleep but his mind refusing to yield.

After a few minutes, Qui-Gon shifted slightly. "What are you thinking, beloved?" he asked.

Obi-Wan sighed, not wishing to break the mood but knowing that his master deserved an answer. "About the person hired to replace Xell. He'll find me, you know, eventually."

"If he does, he'll have to go through me to get to you."

Obi-Wan looked up to meet his master's blue eyes. He smiled sadly. "That will be a difficult promise for you to keep. You can only watch my back for so long. I'll soon be back on my own."

"I - wanted to talk to you about that," Qui-Gon said, and the knight felt a distinct wave of uncertainty wash over their bond. He reached out to stroke the bearded cheek to soothe it away.

"What?" he asked softly.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "I was hoping to ask the Council to team us up and -" Another deep breath. "And hoping you'd agree to lifebond with me."

For a moment, Obi-Wan felt anger rise in him. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Qui-Gon blinked. "Why what?"

"Why now? Do you think I'm falling apart? Are you afraid to turn loose of me, afraid if you don't hold me together that I'll break into tiny pieces? Is that why you want to bond now?"

"Of course not," Qui-Gon said, rising onto one elbow. "I want to bond because I don't ever what to be apart again. Because I love you. Because I want to keep on loving you, for the rest of our lives."

The planet tilted on its axis, and when it righted itself again, Obi-Wan let out a long sigh. "It's a huge responsibility, you know," he said with a slightly self-conscious grin, "taking on such damaged merchandise."

Qui-Gon's huge hand came up to cup his face. "I was damaged merchandise when you came into my life, my padawan, and you healed me. All I ask is the chance to return the favor."

"But, what about Anakin?"

"I'd love it if you'd help me train him."

Obi-Wan felt a huge grin split his face and he threw his arms around his lover. "Yes, I'll lifebond with you, and the sooner the better." Feeling the rightness of their decision, satisfied that nothing could ever hurt him again, he closed his eyes and surrendered to sleep.

The End