Archive: My site and the m_a archive. Anyone else, just ask. I
won't say no.
Category: I'm not at all sure, but it's an AU, h/c, angst, and
POV. Yeah, I think that's all.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: I'm sure I'm not following Canon somewhere. After all,
I'm not all that familiar with anything in this universe
besides the movies, the comic adaptation and what I have been
reading here.
Spoilers: Some for TPM. This is an AU so it doesn't really
matters.
Summary: Qui-Gon faces his greatest fear when he finds Obi-Wan.
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to George Lucas, who is
god. And I'm not making any money out of this... so it would
really be pointless to sue me for it.
Content: Q/O.
Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and if anyone would have
time to detailed feedback, I would really appreciate it. But
please, don't kill me after this.
What has gone before: To keep Anakin with his mother, Obi-Wan
exchanged his freedom from her, thus never confronting the Sith
on Naboo. After defeating Maul, Qui-Gon came to terms with his
feelings for Obi-Wan, but still could not make himself disobey
the Council and free his padawan, and so, Amidala and Anakin
tried to at least find where Obi-Wan was. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan
was sold to Bobba Fett, who in turn sold him to Palpatine.
After retrieving 3PO from Bobba Fett, and discovering that
Palpatine is the Sith Lord, finally Qui-Gon is in his way to
rescue Obi-Wan.
And now, the story:
I dreaded the arrival on Coruscant, all too sure that we were
too late. Since the moment Anakin's droid identified the Sith
Lord's voice as Palpatine, I've been having this dark feeling
that my Padawan is already lost to me.
There is no doubt in my mind that he is in the hands of a Sith
Lord. The tattooed face that I saw when we almost saved him was
the only proof I needed.
I was so sure that the Sith died on Naboo. I had taken a little
comfort in knowing that his dark taint would never reach my
Padawan... And now even that is gone. Obi-Wan has been in the
Sith's hands all along.
And it is my fault.
We have a slight advantage in the surprise element. We were
very careful in our communications with Queen Amidala and Mace,
so it was impossible for Palpatine to know our real intentions.
Our plan is somewhat simple. Queen Amidala will show all the
evidence she and Mace gathered against Palpatine, while Panaka,
Ani and I rescue Obi-Wan. There is not much evidence against
the Chancellor, but we hope that Obi-Wan's testimony will be
enough.
Still, we all know that it cannot be easy.
I know it won't be easy.
The assault on Palpataine's quarters was swift and almost
immediate. While Panaka and Ani fought the defense droids,
creating a diversion for me, I ran through a maze of stairs
that led me deeper to the lower levels on Coruscant. It seemed
obvious that there were many hidden things inside the core of
the Republic.
Things that the Jedi Order should have never allowed to exist.
I confront the Sith again, but this time he is almost silent.
The taunts and provocation that he used against me on Naboo are
not present at all. Still, his silence is even more unnerving.
But I do not let him get past my shields now. I know that he is
the last obstacle against me before I can see my beloved again.
Before I can tell him how much he means to me. Before I can
fulfill my vow to never let him away from me again.
And those thoughts are what enable me to finally strike a
definitive killing blow that cuts the Sith's body in half.
Still, my victory does nothing to ease the growing sense of
wrongness that fills my heart.
"I hoped you would come, 'Master' ."
I turn around at hearing his voice, the voice I had not
realized was part of my heart until I could not hear it again.
I was sure that even the harshest words coming from his mouth
would be enough to make me feel whole again.
I was wrong.
His tone is not welcoming, but taunting, and it freezes my
heart.
"Obi-Wan? " I barely recognize my apprentice, even though he
has not changed much. His face is the same, even if it looks a
little thin. He is dressed completely in black, just as the
Sith Lord that has just fallen under my saber. He is smiling,
but his smile does not reach his eyes.
His eyes, the green-blue orbs that always seemed to shine with
reassurance and joy, that never once failed to lift my soul
away from all worries even if I never told him so, are dead
now. There is no joy, no love to be found in them. Only
coldness...
Only hate.
"But this time, you got here too late." He finishes, and
activates the lightsaber he was hiding on the folds of his
tunic.
I barely have time to defend myself, not wanting to believe
what all my senses are telling me. But as I reach with the
Force, I meet only a wall of rage, hate and darkness that seems
to envelop all his being. There is no trace of my Padawan, of
the gentle, caring young man I love.
"Padawan..." I say as I parry off, shielding myself without
taking the offensive.
"I am not your Padawan!!" he yells, and his attack increases in
strength and speed. "You never wanted me, I was never enough
for you, Qui Gon Jinn!! I was not worthy enough!" Each word is
spat with venom, and they wound my heart. Because, long ago, I
did not want him at my side... but it was not because he was
not a worthy student, but for my own fears.
My own failure.
As the fight continues, he presses harder. I cannot even try to
explain myself and make him stop, ask for his forgiveness...
And the pain in my chest grows.
With a strong push of the Force, he throws me to the floor.
Before I can regain my footing, he kicks me hard, breaking my
ribs. I have to bite my lips not to let a cry escape.
"How it feels, 'MASTER'?" He mocks me, and his hard voice is a
knife in my heart. "How does it feel to be crushed and beaten
down?!" There is a soft pause, and then I can feel the Force
pressing my body down. "I suffered this and more in the months
after I left you... After you didn't notice I was gone... I
learned many things that you never taught me, 'Master'... I
learned how much I could hate you for your weakness."
I hear the hum of the lightsaber near my head, but I cannot
turn to see where it is. The control Obi-Wan is exerting over
the Force far surpasses what I knew as his limits. It is
frightening, the ease with which he manipulates the Dark Side
now.
"How much time passed before you decided to give my lightsaber
to your 'Chosen One', 'Master'? Was it when you left Tatooine,
relieved of not having my burden on your back? Or did you have
to wait until the Council allowed you to train him?"
"I... did..." I try to speak, but he crushes my chest with his
boot, interrupting my words.
"I do not care, 'Master'. I have a new one now."
Those are the last words I hear, before a flash of light
strikes me.
Obi-Wan's interlude.
I have Qui-Gon at my feet, ready to kill him.
Seeing him beaten, wounded and bleeding, I feel satisfaction.
At least he knows a little of what I've been through...
But he can never know it all. He cannot know how much he hurt
me, time and again, rejecting me in every way possible, even
after the Council made him accept me as his Padawan. This...
this is only a small revenge. I will not feel myself avenged
until all those who have hurt me die. Qui-Gon, the Skywalker
brat... The Council.
I lift my lightsaber, and cut Qui-Gon's neck with one swift
movement.
Tears run in my eyes as I lay awake in my quarters, deep inside
the Sith Lord's hideout on Coruscant.
It is not the first time I have had this nightmare, but it is
the first time I did not know it was a dream. I awoke just as
my lightsaber ended my Master's life... and now I do not know
my own heart. As horrified as I was when I woke up, in my dream
I was enjoying the act of hurting my mentor.
Of hurting the only one I love.
I pray to the Force that Qui-Gon will come and rescue me. I
pray that he will not. My heart breaks as I think this, but I
don't know what to do.
I'm corrupted. I'm allowing the Dark Side in my heart.
And I will kill myself before I reach the point where my love
turns to hate.
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