Master Apprentice
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Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Summary: Mostly Harmless.
Category: Humor
Note: This little guide was started by Azarad and contributed to by several members of the MA list. Contributor names appear beside each entry.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
A
Anakin - A sulky brat possessing great power simmering toward overload and darkness due to an unresolved mommy complex. ~Azarad
Bantha - Quadruped of enormous size living on nearly nothing in a desert waste at the edge of the known galaxy yet featured in hundreds of metaphoric images on civilized worlds. ~Azarad
Coruscant - A planet with an impossible ecology, center of the galactic government with absolutely no visible food sources except Soylent Green. ~Azarad
Dark Side - Where Jedi go when they just can't take the supposed celibacy rules any longer. ~Laura McEwan
Denial - Source of unlimited energy for a slash writer. ~Little Owl
Darth - A Sith honorific of dubious meaning. ~Azarad
Ewok - Also known as Galactic Plague Bears, common to the Moon of Endor. ~Azarad
Fett, Jango - Bounty hunter with *lots* of children. Most famous for a fight in which Obi-Wan Kenobi got very wet. ~Little Owl
F_ck - Expletive, and reported to be the actual last word of Qui-Gon Jinn. ~Azarad
Gungan - Alien intelligence whose sole reason for being is to irritate everyone else into strangling it. ~Linda Joyce
Healing Trance - A form of meditation used mainly to recover from kinky Jedi sex. ~Aphony Cree
Hiney - This portion of the human anatomy is known to be an expanse of soft skinned loveliness that has frequently driven such noted Jedi Masters as Jinn and Windu to distraction, mounted as it is on smoothily and provacatively swaying hips that move as though on well oiled ball bearings. (See Kenobi) ~Jane Steeter
Horny / the horn - A condition traditionally covered by several unflattering layers of tunic. ~Clara Swift
Hoth - A planet often mistaken by vacationers as tropical, when in truth, 'tis coldth. ~Laura McEwan
Ignoble - The inevitable nature of the defeat of Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi in any combat encounter between himself and Jedi-turned-Sith Count Dooku. ~Clara Swift
Jerk - A rare failing of overly ambitious masters with nearly grown padawans when confronted with weirdly Force Strong overage children on isolated planets in the Outer Rim. ~Jane Steeter
Jinn, Qui-Gon - a) A Jedi Master of the same era who trained Kenobi to Knighthood; infamous for placing Obi-Wan Kenobi in positions in which he could get his tunics wet. ~Clara Swift b) Sexiest Jedi Master alive, who discovered after his death the secret of immortality given to him by the denial of slash writers. ~Little Owl
Kenobi, Obi-Wan - A Jedi of the old republic who was most famous for how he looked in wet tunics. He vanished into obscurity when he took up residence on a desert planet and started keeping his clothes dry. ~Aphony Cree
Lessons - These are given in a wide range of subjects and by an equally wide range of instructors. Of particular note are the one-on-one lessons given in the Master's Bedchamber. (It is not unusal to hear various grunts and cries as a student learns to immitate the cries and calls of Wild Natives. Most common seems to be various forms of "More, Master! Do that one again!") These lessons appear to be quite popular. ~Jane Steeter
Lucas, George aka 'The Fiend in Flannel' - second-most powerful being and once the creator of the Galaxy Far,Far Away. Later outnumbered and overruled by the slash writers due to his cruelty towards Qui-Gon Jinn and the fact that he didn't even show his fans a BlueGhost!Qui-Gon. ~Little Owl
Master - Honorific given to a Jedi to encourage kinky sex with their Padawan. ~Aphony Cree
Misconception - the notion that Greedo shot first. ~Clara Swift
Plotholes - Places of endless confusion caused by George Lucas. ~Little Owl
Sand - a substance formed by the erosion of rock into small granules. Despised by Sith Lords, it allegedly gets everywhere. ~Clara Swift
Slash writer - Most powerful being in the Galaxy Far, Far Away. Busy with fixing the plot holes caused by George Lucas. In ancient pictures of saints slash writers are depicted as females at a computer with a bunny sitting at their feet. Therefore often misinterpreted as martyrs, but de facto completely devoted to lust and fun (okay, okay, except the angst/drama ladies). ~Little Owl
Traumatized - This is frequently the result when certain short, green, pointy eared, geriatric Jedi Masters insist on giving certain forms of advanced instruction to unsuspecting padawans. (See Lessons) ~Jane Steeter
Whiny - an epithet generally applied to any young male bearing the surname Skywalker. Often used in association with the word brat. ~Clara Swift
Xanatos - The galaxy's most sexy scoundrel. ~Little Owl
Yearning - state of mind of most adolescent Padawans when thinking about their masters (as long as said masters don't want them to clean their quarters, to stay away from Alderanian beer, or to learn 1000 datapad pages of Republican trade law). ~Little Owl