Gossamer Threads

by obi-ki

Title: Gossamer threads

Author: obi-ki

Pairings: Qui-Gon/Obi- Wan

Rating: PG

Category: Angst, POV

Archive: MA, any others please ask

Disclaimers: Everything Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am just playing in his world, borrowing the boyz and their accomplices and will return them all when I'm through. No money is being made from this, it is all done for entertainment only.

Author's Notes: This fic has been sitting on my hard drive for quite a while, most of it written shortly after 'Revenge of the Sith' was released. The fic includes a retelling of some on the events of the saga with some additional undertones that I hope make it something people will enjoy. Many thanks to Merry Amelie for the thorough beta and helpful suggestions. As always, I couldn't resist making a few final tweaks, so all mistakes are mine. Feedback is always appreciated, onlist or privately at kiowkqgj@yahoo.com.

Summary: Sometimes unexpected companions tag along on life's journey.

Obi-Wan rose from the mat he had placed in a secluded alcove in the gardens, aching knees all he had to show for another six hours spent in solitary meditation. As had become his habit of late, the focus of his solo contemplations had been the ever-increasing sensation that someone was watching him. The feelings came at random - a tickle at the back of his neck, a wisp in the Force and an almost whisper of a voice – barely there suggestions that someone was following him, watching him - stalking him, for lack of a better term. The feelings were never malevolent and happened as often for no apparent reason as they did to warn him of some impending danger. But they persisted nonetheless, growing more frequent and more tangible as the years passed.

Obi-Wan's earlier meditations had pointed to his first memories of those insubstantial feelings occurring during the first few months after Naboo. It was strange that he still mentally categorized his life that way, bisecting it into two parts, more by what he had lost during that ill-begotten mission than by what he had gained. He had worked his whole life to be granted the rank of Jedi Knight, but he would have gladly forsaken that honor if he could have remained at Qui-Gon Jinn's side. Force knows what the mind-healers would make of that admission if he were ever to reveal it.

When he first became consciously aware of the sensations, Obi-Wan had just dismissed them as the result of the stress of his life; a by-product of his being thrown into a role he had not been prepared for – that of master to Anakin Skywalker. But as time passed, he learned to cope with all the unwanted changes that Qui-Gon's death had wrought. Even then, the sensations of being watched persisted, and he had begrudgingly admitted that there was more to the situation than he had originally believed. So after endless hours of soul- searching and meditation, he had come to two possible conclusions.

The first conclusion was that he was slowly losing his grip on sanity, and his failing mind was conjuring up everything. There were many days that Obi-Wan truly believed that had to be the explanation, and on more than one occasion he had been tempted to confess all to one of the Temple's mind-healers. After a really bleak period during Anakin's early training when the sensation had been almost continual, he had even considered baring his soul to Master Yoda. But he and Anakin had been assigned a mission before he could act on that consideration, and much to his relief, the feelings had lessened by the time they had returned.

The second conclusion was that someone really was watching him, and during a rather intense solo meditation a few months ago, the Force had insinuated that this was the case. With that revelation, Obi-Wan had begun searching his memories for any clue about his watcher, but those searches had come up sadly lacking any concrete evidence. At that point, he had shifted to examining the sensations as soon as possible after they actually occurred, but that had not met with any more success than searching the older memories.

Obi-Wan had reverted to thinking that his first conclusion regarding his sanity was the correct assumption until a conversation with Anakin a few cycles ago. They'd been back at the Temple to report to the Council on the conditions on the battlefront, as well as for a brief respite, and were relaxing over ales.

Anakin had been reminiscing about one of their first missions after Geonosis, a mission to the Naboo moon of Ohma-D'Un. The Gungan resettlement colony on the moon had not been heard from in weeks, and he and Anakin had gone on a mission with Master Glaive and his padawan, Zule. When they reached the surface they had found all the Gungans dead from some form of chemical poisoning. In addition to the poisonous atmosphere, Durge and Asajj Ventress were waiting for the Jedi, and they were immediately thrown into a battle for their lives. Master Glaive joined the Force during that mission, and Obi-Wan had been shocked that the rest of them managed to escape with only relatively minor injuries.

In an offhanded comment, Anakin had mentioned feeling like someone was watching him during that mission, but, at the time, Obi-Wan had chalked it up to the fact that Asajj Ventress was Force-sensitive and had been trying to influence his apprentice in some way. Discussing the mission again, Obi-Wan asked Anakin if he'd ever felt the sensation at other times, and much to his surprise Anakin admitted that he'd felt it on a number of occasions. As they compared memories, Obi-Wan found that while Anakin had not experienced the feeling as often as he had, each time Anakin had felt that insubstantial presence, Obi-Wan had felt it also.

Before Obi-Wan could decide what to do with this newfound knowledge, they had been sent back out to the front. Being in a battle zone did not allow any time for introspection or meditative ponderings, but Obi-Wan had dedicated a small part of his mind to tracking the occurrences. He figured that focusing on the feelings as the events happened would give him the information he needed to get to the bottom of this perplexing situation. At least that had been what he'd hoped. But either due to his watcher's concealment skills or another unknown reason, Obi-Wan could never get a sense of the being's physical location, nor any insight to his or her identity, except that the touch felt eerily familiar.

The hours that Obi-Wan had spent in meditation examining the occurrences from the last few cycles had revealed very little. As it was, the only thing he managed to glean from the hours on his knees was that there was definitely something familiar about his watcher. This sense of familiarity was faint and barely recognizable in some of the encounters, but the thread ran through the full range of the occurrences. The Force seemed to be hinting that it was someone he knew, or had known at one time, but that didn’t offer much help. He had crossed paths with a countless number of beings in his years as a Jedi, so even excluding everyone who joined the Force, the list was daunting. So even with the Force's little hint, he was no closer to identifying his stalker/watcher than he had been before.

Dropping down to sit on one of the stone benches ringing this section of the garden, Obi-Wan pondered his options. Was he wasting his time, hunting for clues about a phantom watcher who, if he existed at all, seemed to present no danger to anyone? Should he just put it out of his mind and pretend that the feelings didn't exist? Maybe he should discuss the situation with Master Yoda and see if he had any insight. As he considered that line of thought, the feeling of being watched washed over him, stronger than before. It seemed that the Force agreed with the idea of Obi-Wan finally sharing this information with someone other than his padawan. He rose from the bench, but before he made it to the gate, his commlink chirped with an emergency signal.

Obi-Wan made his way to the Council chamber with due haste, all thoughts of his mysterious watcher pushed to the back of his mind. Within the hour, he and Anakin were docking their fighters in the landing bay of a Venator-class star destroyer headed to the planet Riflor to try to prevent a Separatist takeover there.

Almost six cycles passed before Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to Coruscant. The Council had kept them moving from one war zone to another, with barely enough time to eat and sleep between engagements. The war had touched everything and everyone, and it sometimes felt to Obi-Wan that it would never be over. So much for the life of a Jedi being filled with peace and serenity.

During the cycles they were away, Obi-Wan had little time to contemplate the presence of his silent watcher though the sensation of being watched had continued, even increasing in these volatile situations. He had come no closer to identifying the mysterious presence, but more often than not these days, the sensation that enveloped him within the Force morphed into a warning. Little nudges to move up instead of down, right instead of left, to be wary of a person that Obi-Wan would never have felt suspicious of. During a particularly nasty situation on Dagro, a mental call to move had been the only thing that had saved him from being doused in acid by a bunch of skitter droids. That call had been an actual voice in his head rather than the normal diffused Force warning of danger.

Obi-Wan had devoted another meditation just to that incident but still was unable to come up with anything definitive to identify his observer. He replayed the warning in his head over and over, concentrating on the nuance and tone, but one yelled word wasn't enough for identification. At one point, he wondered if the presence could be that of his former master, but chalked that up to a strong case of wishful thinking. The only definitive thing he had come up with was that there was no way his watcher could be a corporeal being, since the sensations occurred in places that no sensible being would be in for any reason other than sheer necessity.

He managed a short conversation with Master Yoda on the subject during one of his infrequent stops at the Temple. but the discussion with the cryptic master left Obi-Wan with more questions than answers. "Open yourself to the Force and listen to it speak, Master Kenobi. Revealed at the proper time, all will be," Yoda had said. Frustrated by the ambiguous order, he returned to his quarters, struggling for serenity. As it always did in times of stress, his inner voice took on the reassuring tones of his master, and he wished for the millionth time that he could approach Qui-Gon with his questions.

Before he could spend too many hours contemplating Yoda's non-answer, he was deployed on another long series of missions that again took him away from Coruscant.

Obi-Wan flew in tandem with Anakin as they approached the 'Invisible Hand', focused on the task before them. As always, nothing went smoothly and Obi-Wan thanked the Force for the determination of the man who fought at his side. For all that their relationship had begun in pain, Anakin had become like a brother to him, and the love he felt for him was only second to the love he still held in his heart for Qui-Gon. As much as he had resented Qui-Gon's dying order to 'train the boy', the two of them had grown together. Obi-Wan had learned as much from his impetuous padawan as Anakin had learned from him.

The battle to rescue Chancellor Palpatine had been a nightmare from the first moments. Even the knowledge that they were walking into a trap had not made things any easier. It was only through Anakin's determination and skill that Obi-Wan had lived to fight another day. They rescued Palpatine, and although Anakin had killed Count Dooku in the process, General Grievous had escaped. They had managed to land the remnants of Grievous' ship, and after Obi-Wan left Anakin to face the politicians; he reviewed the entire encounter in his mind.

Even amid the terrible odds they had faced, Obi-Wan had felt serene and at peace, as if someone was draining all his tensions from him and replacing them with a calm resolve. That niggling feeling of familiarity had been prevalent through most of the mission, but the sensations of being watched had been especially strong when he had been facing Count Dooku. Unable to puzzle out any additional information from his ponderings, Obi-Wan pushed them to the back of his mind as he headed to the Council Chambers to give his report.

Their time on Coruscant was again short, and within days Obi-Wan had been dispatched to Utapau to take down General Grievous, while Anakin had remained behind to serve as Palpatine's liaison to the Jedi Council. From the first moments his Jedi Interceptor emerged from hyperspace, the sensations had returned and Obi-Wan found himself actively listening for the feelings of forewarning he had grown to expect. He was on high alert as he greeted the Utapau leader, Tion Medon, and confirmed that Grievous was on planet.

As Obi-Wan programmed R4 to fly the starfighter back to the Star Destroyer in orbit above the planet, a sense of foreboding washed over him unlike anything he had felt since that infamous day on the Neimoidian droid control ship. The memory was so strong that he could almost hear Qui-Gon telling him, 'I don’t sense anything.' His reply of, 'It's not about the mission, Master. It's elsewhere, elusive,' had Qui-Gon predictably chastising him with his oft-used koan - 'Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your focus on the here and now, where it belongs.'

Watching the ship take off from his vantage point behind a rocky outcropping, Obi-Wan did the opposite of what he had done all those years ago and concentrated on the foreboding. It was not centered around his confrontation with Grievous but it was close, imminent, and he resolved not to let his guard down for one second of his time on Utapau. A nudge from the Force led him into a shop where he was able to secure a flying lizard the wrangler identified as Boga, and he set off to confront General Grievous.

The fight was as challenging as Obi-Wan expected, and he methodically worked to defeat his opponent. He quickly dispatched the bodyguards but four lightsabers against one was a grueling fight. He managed to remove one threat at a time until the two of them were down to only their wits. Obi-Wan called Boga back to him and followed Grievous on his two-wheeled vehicle through the caves of Utapau. The Force flowed through him as they fought, and after an intense hand-to-hand battle, Obi-Wan finally found an opening and defeated Grievous.

Obi-Wan rode Boga down to the command center to send a message to Coruscant informing Chancellor Palpatine of Grievous' death. He urged Boga back airborne and had barely cleared the edge of the cliff when a mental cry of "Drop!" echoed in his head. He pulled down on Boga's reins as he dodged shots from the blaster rifles of Commander Cody and the clone troopers he had fought beside for the last three years. A shot hit the flying lizard and Obi-Wan plummeted from the saddle to land in a watery sinkhole hundreds of meters below.

As Obi-Wan pulled his breather out of his belt, he thought back to the Force warning he'd heard as the shots were fired. The voice was familiar and comforting, almost as if the Force itself was seeking to provide consolation for him amid the treachery that had just occurred. Swimming up slowly from the bottom of the pool, Obi-Wan allowed himself another brief moment to try to identify that voice before relegating it to the back of his mind and searching for a sheltered place to surface.

Using the Force to hide his presence, Obi-Wan made his way to the landing platform and boarded Grievous's starfighter to escape Utapau. He rendezvoused with Master Yoda and Bail Organa and, much to his horror, found that the treachery on Utapau had been repeated on every battlefield and had even extended into the sanctity of the Jedi Temple. As the three of them discussed options, the voice he had heard on Utapau whispered, "Go back to Temple."

Obi-Wan meditated as Bail's ship transported them to Coruscant, concentrating on the mental voice he had heard twice that day. He was certain that the voice and his feelings of being watched were connected; he just needed to figure out what that connection was. Five words, so little to try to identify a speaker, but so tantalizingly familiar in both urgency and intonation that his heart wanted to believe that they had come from Qui-Gon. But duty came before all else, so he pushed that hope aside and joined Yoda and Bail in the cockpit.

When Bail left Yoda and Obi-Wan at the Temple landing pad, they had to fight their way through a unit of clone troopers. Obi-Wan could feel the Force feeding him energy as he fought and within a few minutes they reached the Temple proper. Bodies of their fellow Jedi littered the hallways, and a sense of pain and betrayal permeated a place that for millennia had represented peace and serenity.

As they rounded the hallway leading to the library wing, an even heavier blanket of despondency fell over Obi-Wan as the bodies of a group of Jedi younglings came into view. As he reached the children, he felt as if an invisible presence was trailing behind him, and as he knelt beside the first one, the weight of a comforting hand came down on his shoulder. He twisted around, expecting to see Master Yoda, but the ancient master was huddled over one of the dead children a few meters away. He frowned in confusion as the invisible hand squeezed for a second, but then the sensation vanished as quickly as it had begun.

Rising to his feet, Obi-Wan headed to the communication center to recalibrate the coded signal, warning away any Jedi who might have survived the initial slaughter, before moving into the control center. Against Yoda's advice, he viewed the security holograms that record continually within the Temple. He watched with his own eyes as Anakin led the clone troopers against the Jedi, despair exploding in him as he saw Anakin's lightsaber end the life of one of the younglings. He finally turned off the recording after watching Anakin kneel to Lord Sidious.

The sensation of support washed over Obi-Wan again, as he implored Master Yoda not to send him after Anakin. There was no way he could do this. Although he had been reluctant in the beginning, only his promise to Qui-Gon that he would train Anakin directing his actions, over their years together the young man had become like a brother to him.

Finally, his sense of duty had overruled his heart. When Padme had refused to believe what he had told her, Obi-Wan stowed aboard her ship as she left Coruscant in search of Anakin. As he knelt in his hiding place attempting meditation, his thoughts were drawn to the memory of the time so many years ago when Qui-Gon had faced his fallen apprentice, Xanatos. At the time, he had not understood Qui-Gon's hesitation to end the life of the darkened Jedi, but now he finally realized how traumatic it must have been for Qui-Gon to raise his 'saber against someone he had once loved.

About six months before that fateful mission to Naboo, Qui-Gon had spent the majority of an evening talking to Obi-Wan about Xanatos. Qui-Gon had shared in great detail the story of Xanatos' turning. He had spoken of the pain and despair he had felt as Xanatos had lifted his lightsaber against his master, and the fact that Qui-Gon had been unable to strike the killing blow. When Xanatos had threatened Obi-Wan, the Temple and Master Yoda in the years afterwards, Qui-Gon had realized what his inability had cost them all, and sought to bring the man to justice. Even amid Xanatos' taunting, Qui-Gon had refused to end his former apprentice's life, and in the end Xanatos had jumped to his death, cursing Qui-Gon, rather than face responsibility for his actions.

The feel of the ship coming out of hyperspace pulled Obi-Wan from his memories, and he took a few deep breaths as he sought to regain his center. He sensed Padme making her way past his hiding place and out of the ship. He exited the storage room, keeping himself hidden from view as Anakin rushed to greet his wife. Padme tried to convince Anakin to come away with her, but Anakin became irate when she mentioned her conversation with Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan started down the ship's ramp to confront his former padawan, but at the sight of him Anakin flew into a rage. Jealousy fueling his dark powers, Anakin choked Padme with the Force, releasing her only after Obi-Wan implored him. The two men threw off their cloaks and circled each other for a moment before they ignited their lightsabers and the battle was underway.

Even fighting alongside Qui-Gon during the battle with Xanatos, had not prepared Obi-Wan for the torment of having to fight against Anakin. The fight intensified as it moved down the hallways of the Mustafar smelting plant, the Dark Side making Anakin a more powerful adversary than Obi-Wan ever imagined. A number of times, Obi-Wan thought Anakin had him, but each time an escape plan echoed in his mind, accompanied by surges of Force energy flowing into him.

When the precipice came into view, Obi-Wan flipped off the floating platform to land on the cooled lava of the river's edge, thinking they had fought to a standstill. He was incredulous when Anakin made himself vulnerable by flipping over to land in front of him and barely had a moment to feel regret before slashing his 'saber through his former apprentice's legs.

Despair washed over Obi-Wan as Anakin's clothing ignited. but he could no more help the younger man than he could have gone back to deal the killing blow. "Go," the voice in his mind whispered urgently, and he left his apprentice's fate to the Force as he made his way back to the ship and Padme.

The droids had settled Padme into the ship's med bay and after checking on her condition, Obi-Wan headed to the cockpit. He had the ship airborne within moments, moving away from the planet that would become his former padawan's pyre with no idea where he would go. He made contact with Bail Organa a short time later and was directed to head to Polis Massa.

Obi-Wan was pleased to see Master Yoda beside Bail when he arrived on the asteroid, carrying an unconscious Padme. While the Polis Massa medics worked on Padme, a medical droid came out to explain her condition. The injuries that she had suffered should not have been fatal, but Padme was dying, and the babies could only be saved by immediate surgery.

Struggling against another wave of despair, Obi-Wan stood at Padme's side as the children were born. Again, the weight of a comforting hand settled on his shoulder although no one stood behind him, but Obi-Wan had no time to consider its implication. The babies came quickly, Padme holding first her son and then her daughter, naming them in a weak voice. Obi-Wan held her hand as she slipped into the Force, her final words holding the belief that not all the goodness had been purged from her husband.

Letting the medics attend to the babies, Obi-Wan followed Yoda and Bail to a conference room, where they would decide the fate of Anakin's offspring. After they came to a consensus with heavy hearts, Obi-Wan was leaving the room when Yoda called him back.

"A moment, Master Kenobi. In your solitude on Tatooine, training I have for you. I and my new Master."

Obi-Wan blinked in confusion. "Your new Master?"

The smile Yoda gave him was the first real smile either of them had offered in what seemed like years. "Yes, and your old one."

"Qui-Gon?" Yoda's reply filled Obi-Wan with a flush of exhilaration as his mind made the connection he had been searching for all these cycles. His deepest hopes had been fulfilled. The voice in his mind, the echoes he had been hearing and the sensations he had been feeling for the past thirteen years, had been none other than his beloved master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

Suddenly the prospect of years of exile on a barren planet no longer seemed so bleak. He would do his duty, protecting Luke and keeping even the slightest hint of his existence from the self-proclaimed emperor, until a time only the Force could determine. But he would not live those years in loneliness. Even if he remained only a gossamer presence of whispered words and invisible touches, Qui-Gon would be with him, and for Obi-Wan that would always be enough.

The End.