Master Apprentice Archive I Give Good Melon Quick search:

Archive: Yes. M_A anywhere else, please ask...

Rating: NC-17

Category: PWP, Qui/Obi, humor

Summary: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, mediocre sex and thoughts of fruit abuse Notes: Inspired by Emu's bad sex challenge, which turned into a ho-hum sex discussion... But I didn't have the heart to let it be completely bad!

Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine, they belong to Master Lucas. I just use them for sex...

Special Thanks: To the lovely Laura McEwan who did a super fast beta and made this story shine! Thanks, love! I owe you one! Oh, and the title was all her idea. Blame her.

Feedback: Sure! On or offlist...I love it!

"I think it's time we trimmed your hair. It's getting rather shaggy on top," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully, combing a hand through the short spiky cut.

Obi-Wan sat back on his heels, glaring at his master. "Do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate." He leaned forward, taking Qui-Gon's cock firmly in hand.

"Damn it, Obi-Wan, it's a penis, not a handle to pull up on."

"Sorry. But could you just be quiet? Are you sure you even want this?"

"Of course. Go ahead." Qui-Gon snickered at his choice of words.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and bent to take Qui-Gon in his mouth. For long moments the only sound was the slurpy, wet sounds of Obi-Wan sucking.

"Did you buy the tageria melon that I wanted when you went to the market this afternoon?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan ignored the question and sucked harder on Qui-Gon's cock.

Qui-Gon grabbed his head stopping him. "Did you? Because if you didn't..."

Obi-Wan reached up, disentangling the fist from his hair before pushing away from his Master and standing.

"Is that all you can think about? I'm sucking you off and you're worried about a damned melon?"

"Well, it is important. Yoda's coming over and it's his favorite. I always serve it when he's here."

"You're thinking about Yoda while I'm giving you head? Do you know how that sounds?" Obi-Wan screeched.

"You are over-reacting, Padawan. "

"'Padawan'? So, I'm not 'Obi', not 'Obi-love', not 'my Obi-Wan', but 'Padawan'? Fine. That's just great!!! You want your melon, fine." Obi-Wan marched into the kitchen and retrieved the tageria melon before storming back into the room and picking up his 'saber. A quick flick of the switch and the saber was ignited and plunged into the thick rind and quickly removed. He turned his saber off, and dropped it to the floor, before he tossed the fruit to his master. "Here. When you're ready to fuck, use the melon. It's the only hole you're going to get in these quarters." Obi-Wan turned and stomped into his room, muttering.

Qui-Gon looked at the perfect hole in the fruit and then down at his cock. Hmmm. He shook his head. What was he thinking? He hadn't even wanted sex, but Obi-Wan expected it every night just like chrono-works. Now he was contemplating an inanimate object. That was sad. Very sad. He was sure that Obi-Wan would learn to be an amazing lover, given time. And he could live with the impatience of youth.

He looked at the fruit again and slid two fingers inside. Ohhh, that was nice. All pulpy and warm, not counting the charred bits from the saber burn. It would feel really nice around his...

No. Absolutely not. He wasn't fucking any fruit. He resolutely pulled his fingers out and wiped them on his thigh. He should be talking to Obi-Wan. Maybe he was hornier than he realized. He turned to the door of the padawan quarters and knocked.

"Padawan, Obi, please. Let's talk about this."

"Talk to the damned melon."

"It doesn't have the ability to speak."

"Fuck you!"

"Okay. Fuck me. Just open the door," Qui-Gon sighed. Damn. The boy sure had his nose out of joint over this.

"It's not locked, you stupid melon lover. Like a lock would stop you," Obi-Wan said snarkily.

Qui-Gon sighed and palmed the door open. Obi-Wan lay on his bed with a pillow clutched firmly to his face. The whole thing was laughable. Force knew, Qui-Gon felt utterly ridiculous. He hadn't even put his pants back on, not to mention the smear of fruit on his thigh. Qui- Gon sighed. "Obi-Wan, don't be angry. I just had my mind on other things."

Obi-Wan snorted.

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. Obi-Wan was being such a baby. "Take the damned pillow off your head and act like you have some sense. These things happen. It's only natural that at your age you wouldn't be the most experienced..."

Obi-Wan sat up with a jerk and threw the pillow into Qui-Gon's face. "So now I'm a lousy lover? It wasn't just you ignoring me? That's just great!"

He bounced of the bed and started pacing in the small room. "I'm not good enough for you! That's it, isn't it? Too young, too inexperienced for the great Qui-Gon Jinn!"

He stood arrogantly in front of his master, with his fists on his hips. "I'll have you know that I'm an excellent lover! Greatly desired by knights and padawans of all ages! I am Obi-freaking-Wan Kenobi, hottest padawan to grace this temple since...well, since you!"

"I know very well who you are. And I didn't say you weren't a good lover. I just said that your skills aren't refined, and that perhaps you need more training. Training that I am happy to provide. Now calm down."

He pulled Obi-Wan down next to him on the bed and stroked his shoulders. "Relax. Let me show you what I mean."

Obi-Wan pouted. "I don't want you to. Go fuck that melon, you like it better than me."

Qui-Gon smiled. "No, I don't. I like you best of all. I like the way you sigh when you're turned on. I like the way your nipples turn to stone and tangle in the hairs on my chest." Qui-Gon's lips closed around a hardened nub, sucking gently. Obi-Wan moaned, arching into the kiss. "See how sweet a slow seduction can be? Play with your lover, Obi-Wan, don't rip his clothes off and suck the skin off his cock. Take it easy...tease me. Make it more than just another task to finish."

Qui-Gon bent to Obi-Wan's side and drew his tongue up the skin before burying his nose in his underarm. "You even smell delectable, Obi- freaking-Wan Kenobi."

Obi-Wan sputtered a laugh. "Stop making fun of me," he mumbled, trying to maintain his petulance.

"Teasing, Obi-love, teasing," Qui-Gon murmured against his throat. "Padawans are so damned touchy."

"And you love it. Or at least I thought you did."

"Ummm." Qui-Gon stroked Obi-Wan's stomach with light, tickling touches, grinning as the muscles twitched beneath his fingers. "You're so ticklish."

Obi-Wan frowned. "No, I'm not."

Qui-Gon laughed, moving to pull off Obi-Wan's leggings. "Yes, you are. And especially here." His fingers found the soft skin of Obi- Wan's inner thigh.

"Stop! Oh, Force, don't! All right, I'm ticklish! Just stop!" Obi- Wan shrieked, fighting his way off the bed.

"No you don't, Obi-Wan. Get back here."

Obi-Wan stuck out his tongue. "Make me."

"Last warning."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Qui-Gon pounced, picking up his apprentice and tossing him face down on the bed, pinning him to the mattress. "Remember, I warned you."

Qui-Gon spread kisses over Obi-Wan's neck and shoulders before laving every inch of back and thighs with his tongue. He paused, nipping the taut buttocks with his teeth. "Teasing, tickling, laughing, Padawan - it makes everything better."

Obi-Wan moaned. "Please, Master. I understand. Please, finish it," he panted.

Qui-Gon didn't answer. He kissed the cleft of Obi-Wan's ass, his tongue insinuating itself between the cheeks. Obi-Wan rose to his knees in offering, opening himself to the questing tongue. Time stood still as Qui-Gon used that tongue to tease Obi-Wan, to teach him the delights of anticipation, the delicious agony of wanting.

Finally, Qui-Gon pulled away and Obi-Wan whimpered in loss. "Do you understand, now? Do you see what I was telling you? The difference between the mundane and the extraordinary is patience and consideration."

Obi-Wan turned pleading eyes to his Master. "Please, Qui-Gon. Please. I can't take anymore. Please..."

Qui-Gon smiled and knelt behind Obi-Wan, easing into the tight, wet opening. Obi-Wan groaned, forcing himself back onto Qui-Gon's hard length.

"Yes, oh yes, finally," he sighed.

Qui-Gon panted his agreement. His hips found the driving rhythm that pushed them both to the edge of orgasm and over.

Obi-Wan screamed as he came, collapsing onto the mattress.

Qui-Gon rolled away, laughing. "I didn't even want sex. I was just appeasing you..."

Obi-Wan raised his head, giving him a stern glare. "Shut up, oh great Master Jinn, or I might have to practice what I've learned."

Qui-Gon laughed harder. "I look forward to it. And Obi-Wan? We still need tageria melon. You'll have to pick up some tomorrow. And buy extra."