Master
Apprentice  Archive
Give Me Pain
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Series: No
Archive: MA, Power Plays (if it's wanted) anyone else just ask
Spoilers: post TPM-everything happened
Categories: BDSM, POV, Q/O, implied non O/m
Summary: Obi-Wan writes a letter to a would be lover
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Lucas Films. Song lyrics to Tori Amos.
Notes: Just a quickie, `cause I felt like it. For Layna, Dagmar, and Hilary. Kind words are always asppreciated. :-)
Give me life
Give me pain
Give me myself again
Tori Amos Little Earthquakes
Your Most Royal Highness,
I remember the first time a lover tied me down. You know who it was, and it will probably shock you. Hardly the image my Master presented to the world back before our universe was turned upside down, but there it is. It wasn't that he did anything truly perverse, that first time. He tied my wrists to the bed with his sash and blindfolded me with mine. We both discovered how sensitive my nipples truly are that night. It was only later that we discovered other things about each other.
He loved the way I marked up. You'd think I'd lost all ability to bruise by the time I was 20, but being a Jedi gave me the ability to control certain body systems. You'll find I can still bruise. You'll find, as he did that I cry easily. Erotic pain, he always said, softens me and brings out the cries and tears that most sadists adore.
Oh, make no mistake; my Master was a sadist. He, who could not bear to see a creature in pain, loved to see me writhing in it. "All pain is relative," he would say and I would bare my body to the beautiful pain he created.
It comes is so many colors, flavors and sounds, pain does. There's the sweet torture of suspense and never knowing what will come next. There's the sharp sting of the cane or rod or knife and the hard blossom of fear that goes with those toys. There's the smooth velvet thud of a perfectly weighted flogger in the hands of an expert. I know them all and love them well.
Do I shock you, you who would have me for a lover? Only by my interest in such things, I imagine. I've looked into your pleasure, my friend. Before the war and the destruction, I know that you had a reputation on a world that is famed for so many forms of pleasure. I know who taught you and who you played with when you were the same age I was when Master tied me down.
Will you ask me why, Prince? Will you ask your General why he needs to surrender to pain? I don't think so; I'm a shrewd judge of character and I know you're intelligent enough to understand the need for escape. I live with pain, Bail. Every blessed day I live with the pain of the death and betrayal. And I can't do it any more, can't bring myself to keep caring if this universe goes on without me.
To be more accurate, I didn't care until I met you and you showed your interest in me so clearly. Well, no you weren't grossly obvious, but I am a Jedi, my friend. I know you want me. And I know I want you.
Yes, you. Please don't fear that I'm asking you to be another Master to me. No one can, and I don't want anyone, even a beloved friend, to try. No, I don't ask you to master me, but I do beg you to be my lord in more ways than you are now. I find you so very loveable and so very beautiful and I would serve you as much as my body and our stations allow.
Hurt me, my friend. Give me pain so that we may both know how alive we are. Give me pain so that we may both remember a time when pain was nothing but a joy. Give me pain and in giving me pain, teach me how to love again.
Take me, My Prince, for I am yours.
General Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight and Master