Master Apprentice
Archive
Good Intentions on the Road to Hell #4: Anniversaries & Beginnings
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Archive: MA.
Category: Q/O, O/A UST, angst
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: TPM
Summary: 10 years after TPM, Obi-Wan remembers the past, Anakin gets jealous. It all ends in tears.
Feedback: yes please, any comments very welcome.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Series: Good Intentions on the road to Hell -- Chronological order:
Attempting the Impossible
Attempting the Impossible - Epilogue
Re-affirming the Bond
Anniversaries and Beginnings
Not so Unobtainable After All
Paving Stones
Building a Brave New World (coming eventually)
A Change of Heart
A Present from the Past (in beta and due to be finished very soon)
Author's Notes: A huge thanks to Lexin and Smitty for the Beta.
"Obi-Wan, promise, promise me you'll train the boy."
Obi-Wan Kenobi easily remembered the words, the fleeting brush of fingers upon his face and the feel of his beloved Master dying in his arms; but it was not often that he allowed himself the luxury of doing so. Today, however, was special. Today was the tenth anniversary of Qui-Gon's death and Obi-Wan was celebrating.
He kept a holo of his Master in his desk drawer, safely out of sight. But today he had taken it out, turned it on, put it on the desk and sat in front of it.
Today he could allow himself to remember life before he became so sad. He knew he'd always been serious, but the sadness had been a new development. A present from the past he was unable, or unwilling, to return. Once upon a time, the future had seemed so sure and definitely very different from what had actually happened.
They had agreed to wait until Obi-Wan was a Jedi Knight. Then, no longer in violation of the Jedi Code, they could finally be truly together. Obi-Wan had never doubted that it would happen and nothing had shaken that faith - not their many disagreements nor the appearance of Anakin - though sometimes Qui-Gon's deliberately annoying acquisition of strays had strained it.
Obi-Wan leant forward and rested his chin on his arms on the desk and looked deeper into the holo. It seemed strange, now, to remember that he'd been the one to cause the delay. Qui-Gon, never backwards in coming forwards to disagree with the Jedi Code, would have certainly challenged the Council over the issue. But Obi-Wan had wanted to obey the Code, in this as in most things. So Qui-Gon had held back and not forced Obi- Wan to go against his nature. And they had waited, sometimes patiently, sometimes not; but fate had intervened and made a mockery of their plans.
"We would have been so happy." Obi-Wan said to himself and smiled at the thought of what should have been and reached out to touch the base of the holo-projector.
Anakin Skywalker, nineteen, cocky and handsome ran through the corridors of the Jedi temple. His feet barely touched the floor as he flew, elated, to the quarters he shared with his Master. Today he had been honoured by Yoda himself for winning a flying competition.
It had been surprisingly easy as he'd felt the Force as never before. The ship had responded effortlessly to his will, and to make it even sweeter winning had meant he'd passed a new test of Obi-Wan's. 'It's a test of independence' Obi-Wan had said after he'd told Anakin he wouldn't be watching the contest. 'You must learn to well without the incentive of me looking over your shoulder.'
At first Anakin had been disappointed, but then became determined to excel at this test. Anakin was desperate to please Obi-Wan, as he felt he had the best Master a Padawan could wish for. A Master who guided gently, was only stern when essential, who never tired or lost patience and was never unkind or unfair. After his early years of slavery it was existence beyond Anakin's wildest hopes.
The only thing that caused concern was that Obi-Wan smiled so little and rarely seemed happy, however, Anakin had a long term plan to solve that small problem.
Unfortunately Anakin's delight and eagerness to see his Master, for once, overruled his manners and he barrelled straight into Obi-Wan's room in their shared quarters without knocking. And that momentary absence of etiquette allowed him to see his Master sitting at his desk gazing happily at a holo of Qui-Gon with an expression that stopped Anakin in his tracks.
Suddenly many things became clear. Today had been no test, Obi-Wan had just had better things to do. Anakin felt his dreams for the future crumble and jealously consumed him.
"He's dead. Has been for years."
Shocked, Obi-Wan looked up towards his apprentice.
"You did it all for him, didn't you? He told you to train me. So you did." Anakin could feel the bile in his words, but couldn't stop.
"All these years and you were never there for me. Everything was just to show how much you cared for him. You don't care for me at all, not compared to how you feel for him."
Obi-Wan straightened in his chair, speechless against the accusation, eyes wide with horror.
"Qui-Gon used to be perfect, but now he's just gone. Not here. Dead. And if you can't have him in your bed then you'd rather have no one. I'm glad he's dead. I hate him."
"Anakin Skywalker," cried Obi-Wan, finally recovering from his shock, his voice cracking with fury. "You shall take back every foul word and spend the next week in meditation over what you have just said about a man who rescued you from slavery."
Instead Anakin backed out into the common area of their quarters shaking his head.
"Skywalker! Come back! Now!" Obi-Wan yelled as he stood and followed his apprentice.
But Anakin had already turned, opened the main door and was racing away from his livid master.
"I won't. I hate him. I hate him. Even dead he's got everything that I want," Anakin yelled over his shoulder as he disappeared down the Temple corridor.
Obi-Wan could only stumble back into his quarters before he stopped, suddenly too heartbroken to continue.
"Oh Master, how I've failed you," Obi-Wan cried as he slid down the wall to slump on the floor. There he remained there, head in hands, until Bant found him much, much later.
The next day Anakin sought out Obi-Wan and humbly begged forgiveness for his behaviour. Through genuine tears, he said that he had no idea why he had said such terrible things and he sincerely performed all the penance that Obi-Wan insisted on.
After a while, the incident was forgiven and maybe even forgotten. But it was the beginning.