Warnings: do you really want to be warned? Actually
none that I can think of!
Spoilers: What's that?
Summary: A Jedi lets the Force guide his every action - even
when it comes to #1!
Feedback: YES! PLEASE! To bogart_and_lily@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: "Alex, I'll take Mega Movie Moguls for 200,
please!" "What is the name of the man who created Star Wars and
all it's characters?" "Uh, George Lucas?" "I'm sorry, but you
have to give the response in the form of a question! Minus 200
for YOU!"
Notes: I never thought the plot bunny would bite in the middle
of taking a leak! LOL!
"Can you use the Force to help you? Pee, I mean!", Obi-Wan
inquired squatting down into the snow as he urgently needed to
go.
It was very early in the morning, and Master Jinn and his
apprentice had been strolling through the extensive main
gardens of the Temple compound. The pair was wandering through
the few inches of freshly fallen snow that had accumulated over
night, covering everything with a white, smooth cover. It did
snow on Coruscant from time to time, but it still remained a
relatively rare enough occasion for Qui-Gon to take his Padawan
for a stroll, to acquaint the young man with the beauty and
stillness that came from the blanket of tiny ice crystals
muffling all sounds. As they proceeded to walk through one of
their most favorite sections of this pearl of the Temple,
Obi-Wan became antsy. He started to slightly hop from one foot
to the other, hardly failing to catch his Master's eyes.
"You didn't go before we left our quarters?", Qui-Gon asked in
a very amused and almost teasing manner.
"No, Master, I didn't. May I ...?", and his hopping increased
pending his Master's response. "Yes, Obi-Wan, go, I won't
look", and he scurried away to some nearby bushes.
Despite himself the Master did glance over to his apprentice
once, seeing him sitting there like a little boy, his robe
draped all around him.
"Shall I demonstrate how a true Master does it,
Obi-Wan?, Qui-Gon asked and with a quick motion of his hand he
whipped out his member. "Man, what a dick!", Obi-Wan thought as
he watched Qui-Gon in admiration. Oh, to call that precious
piece of his Master his own!
"Watch and learn, Padawan!", and, being one with the
very living Force and all, he started to squirt a very generous
amount of nitrogen waste onto the freshly fallen snow. In the
end Obi-Wan was surprised to see what his Master had so
artfully, and quite unconventionally, written on the ground.
"Screw the Council, screw the Code!"
Obi-Wan burst into uncontrollable laughter, joined almost
immediately by Qui-Gon. "Well, Padawan, it often will be
necessary for you to follow your own instincts, no matter
what!" Wiping away a tear from his eyes, Obi-Wan looked at
Qui-Gon and could hardly stifle another giggle. "Just don't let
anyone on the Council ...".
He didn't finished what he was about to say, as they both felt
the presence of a very powerful Jedi Master standing right next
to them. With a quizzical look Master Yoda was scrutinizing the
'artwork' in front of him his former charge had produced, and
both Master Jinn and his Padawan instantly began to blush.
"Hmm", Yoda murmured, and without another word he opened his
robe and fished for his own "squirt gun". "Observe! Size
matters not!", and he proceeded to sprinkle the snow with his
urine, guiding it with the Force into settling down into a
beautiful flower pattern.
"So there!", Master Yoda said triumphantly, tucking his little
dick safely away again into his robe. "When 900 years old you
are, very inventive you will have become when relieving
yourself!". And he waddled away out of Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's
sight.
"I never suspected ...", Qui-Gon mused, wondering about all
the other sides of his old Master that he and others never
really got to see and appreciate.
"It sure is beautiful, Master! Can you show me to use the
Force to do something like this?". Obi-Wan looked expectantly
at his mentor and Qui-Gon began to smile one of those
all-knowing, teasing smiles his Padawan had become so familiar
with.
"in time, my young Padawan, in time", and the two of them
slowly walked back to their quarters, leaving this unique piece
of art to the scrutiny of the Gods.
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