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Following Icarus

by Vermilion Flame (flame@slashcity.com)

Chapter 1.

[[Coruscant]]
[[24.987<03<02]]

My dear Nisha:

How I miss you!

The trip back to Coruscant was long and circuitous, but uneventful. I arrived here last night. It's startling to be back in such urban environs after my stay on Grathos. I long for snow and woodlands.

I was relieved to find Master Li recovering well, if slowly. She is pale and becomes short of breath when she exerts herself. I hope I can speed her healing if I assist in her therapy.

As soon as she reassured me of her recovery, I told Li I wanted to talk about the future. I told her I had made a decision regarding my life as a Jedi, but I first wanted to apologize for my indecision and for questioning my commitment to the Order. I knelt and formally asked her forgiveness.

She shocked me, then. Li got down on her knees before me, bowed, and said, "No, Obi-Wan, I am the one who must ask your forgiveness." I couldn't imagine what she meant, but she said that she had failed in her duty as my master when she allowed me to go to Althene. Knowing my problems with accessing the Force, she said she should have made me stay on Coruscant for treatment, instead of letting me go with her. Oh, Nisha, she had tears in her eyes.

I told her that was nonsense. She had not failed in her duty, but allowed me to make my own choice, something she'd taught me from the first day she put a weapon in my hands. She insisted that she was at fault, though, and again begged my forgiveness. I told her I forgave her, because I could see how distraught she was. I did not feel right about it, though. She hugged me tightly and cried a little.

I told her, then, that I was ready to commit to life as a Jedi. She asked how I would deal with the Force deprivation, and I explained to her about the implant. She asked countless questions, as I knew she would, but did accept my recommitment to her and the Order, which made me very happy. I could see the relief in her face and feel it through our bond.

I told her I had made another decision while on Grathos. I asked if she would be willing to give me the Keeper's Marks of Accomplishment, as I have earned as Li-tzu. I thought she'd be pleased, but she frowned and asked why I'd changed my mind. The decision was so gradual, it was hard to adequately explain. I told her about my conversations with you and with Von. I said I'd finally understood that I was being selfish in my concern over my privacy, and I should instead be proud of the knowledge I Keep. I did not convince her, because she refused to give me the Marks. She told me I need to give it more thought, and not be so heavily influenced by others' opinions. I suppose she is right -- as usual.

I ventured into the training rooms today, and found no evidence of Force deprivation during my workout. The Force enhancement I experienced in Grathos has not been evident, either. In fact, I seem to be functioning at what was previously my normal level. I have to admit, I am a bit disappointed that the enhancement did not last. It was an interesting sensation. Have you felt any deprivation since I left?

That is most of my news. Bant is gone, working with her master as part of a rescue team in the XaranX quadrant. Master Yoda has asked me to share the midday meal with him tomorrow. I'm sure he'll want to know how you are doing. He has a special place in his heart for you, I think. I can't blame him.

Did I tell you how much I miss you, my love? I close my eyes and think of your arms around me, imagining that you are holding me as you did beside the bonfire the last night I was with you. It won't be long until we are together. I can feel it.

Nisha, nameho'tatse. Beautiful man, I love you.

Your Tiercel,

Obi-Wan

* * *

"Bonded! You?"

Qui-Gon Jinn didn't appreciate the incredulity in the voice of his fellow master animal healer, Aanli Redwind. In fact, he found it rather insulting. He carefully sipped his brandy, counseling himself to moderate his reply.

"Just why is that so hard to believe?"

Aanli backpedaled. "Sorry, Jinn, no offense intended. It's only that we all had you figured for a confirmed bachelor. Congratulations. Who's the lucky individual?"

"His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi," Qui-Gon answered tersely.

"Well, come on." Aanli sat forward in her chair, cajoling her long-time friend as they relaxed in his quarters above the extensive stables of the Beryt Ranch. She seemed fully prepared to extract the information from the by force, if necessary. "Tell all, man. Is it a Force-bond? Where is he from?"

"Yes, it's a Force-bond. He's Jedi, from the temple on Coruscant."

"Jedi! You really go for the brass ring, don't you?"

If Aanli's eyebrows climbed any higher, she would need to have them surgically readjusted. Qui-Gon gave in to her questions.

"We met here. He was in the last group of Jedi apprentices to come to Grathos for training. He helped me through a bad time, and the bond formed without either of us expecting it. Fortunately, it worked out. We're going to take life vows as soon as he's knighted."

Aanli snorted. "One of the padawans? Qui, my friend, how old is he?"

"Oh, stop it, Aanli. He's not a child. He missed out on the trip for several years for a variety of reasons -- sickness, exams. He's 23, standard."

One eyebrow arched this time. "Still, a bit young for the likes of you, isn't he?"

"That's about enough! I don't appreciate your insinuations." Qui-Gon stood, placing his brandy glass on the table a bit too forcefully. The healer often used his commanding height to his advantage, albeit unintentionally at times.

Aanli was used to such tricks, though. She rolled her eyes at him. "Sit your butt down, Jinn. You know I didn't mean anything by it. I truly am happy for you. I just didn't expect anything quite so unconventional from you."

Qui-Gon harrumphed, settling back into his seat. Loca, the large black kanid, sighed heavily as he once again wrapped around his master's feet.

Aanli allowed a silence to settle into the room Before broaching a new topic. "So, what's the reason for my visit to Grathos? You need help with some sort of procedure? Who's the patient?"

"Me."

Aanli choked on her drink. "Excuse me?"

"There's a problem." Qui-Gon sighed. "Obi-Wan left shortly after we bonded, and we subsequently both experienced difficulty accessing the Force. It was worse for him, but I felt it, too. Fortunately, I could work around it most of the time, and of course Kee helped.

"Over time, the separation became debilitating for him. He could barely perform his standard duties. Any stressful, high-demand situation left him struggling. It became a life-or-death issue when he and his master came under attack on a mission. She was seriously injured."

Qui-Gon sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. It was a painful memory.

"At the suggestion -- or the orders -- of his master, he came here. We reconnected with such overwhelming power, at times I couldn't believe the force of it." He smiled. "Or the Force of it. Our deprivation problems were instantly resolved once we were together. It seems the separation was truly the cause of our troubles."

Aanli glanced about the room, as though the young man might pop out from behind the furniture. "But, he's not here, is he? I mean, you must have solved the problem if he left."

Qui-Gon nodded and took another draught, thinking as he swirled the rich liquid over his tongue. "We devised a procedure that was ... unorthodox."

"Jiinn." Aanli drawled the name out like a suspicious parent. "What have you done?"

Qui-Gon harrumphed. He'd known she would act this way. "Oh, come now, Redwind, am I so recalcitrant?"

"Do you want the truth, or do you want me to say no?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "All right. You know me too well by half. I inserted an implant of my tissue."

"What do you mean? Like a subdermal cyto-implant?"

"We figured that the Force-deprivation was caused by the lack of contact between our midichlorians. The implant ensured the proximity of our cells, and it seems to have worked. Obi-Wan's Force-abilities were greatly enhanced while he was still here on Grathos. Since he's returned to duty, he seems to be functioning at a normal level."

Aanli sat back in the chair, stretching her long legs. She glanced at him. "So, my friend, this is all quite fascinating, but you still haven't told me why I'm here."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Since my own problems accessing the Force had not been severe, I didn't feel it necessary to implant a device containing Obi-Wan's cells. I wanted to wait and see if the situation might have resolved itself. The bond became much stronger during his second visit. I had hoped it would stabilize, relieving the problem entirely."

"Sounds as though you were trying to convince yourself of your own invulnerability." Another raised eyebrow from Aanli. "Typical."

"At least I did take a tissue sample and prepare an implant as a precaution. It's in stasis downstairs in the sterile room."

"I take it that you do need it?"

A nod was her reply. Even now, Qui-Gon hated to admit his weakness. "I can't deny it any longer, and Kee can't continue covering for me. If you're willing, I thought we might do the procedure in the morning. I can brief you on what to expect. There were some complications that we might prevent, given the observations I made following Obi-Wan's implant."

Aanli leaned forward and put her hand on Qui-Gon's knee. "Jinn, you know I will do anything for you."

It was Qui-Gon's turn to raise an eyebrow.

She actually blushed. "Well, almost anything."

Qui-Gon spared a chuckle. Aanli was one of the few individuals in this galaxy who could make him laugh out loud. "Thank you, my friend. Shall we meet first thing in the morning? Say, at the fifth hour?"

"Fine. I'll meet you at the door to the surgery."

Qui-Gon smiled. It was good to be with a friend he could trust.

* * *

The sun had not even considered making its appearance when the two healers met in the chilly barn the next morning. Qui-Gon led Aanli to the door of the sterile room, where the lights emitted a lethal pink glow for several seconds before they entered the room.

"Let me retrieve the implant so you can look at it as we go over the procedure," Qui-Gon suggested, and headed off to the environment-controlled compartment. He swung open the metal door and reached up to the top left shelf where the stasis-chamber sat. He pulled it down, and gave the door a sharp push with his elbow to send it securely closed as he started back toward his fellow healer.

"You see, it's really quite ...." The sentence went unfinished.

No, it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. Qui-Gon felt all the blood drain from his face.

Aanli turned at the sudden silence, staring. After a quick assessment, she strode forward and looked at the object in Qui-Gon's hand.

It was a small chamber, as would be expected for a subdermal implant, but in place of the green indicator light of a properly sealed container, there flashed a tiny red warning beacon. The seal had been broken.

"When did you last check it?" Aanli asked. "Maybe it's still viable."

"Days ago. No. It must have been last week." Qui-Gon stared at her, his face blank. How could he have been so lax? "I never thought anything would happen. I didn't consider the possibility that it would malfunction."

"We don't know that it's bad. It was in the environmental chamber. You should check it before you make any assumptions," Aanli urged.

Qui-Gon sank onto a nearby stool. He gazed at the device in his hand, shaking his head in disbelief. "No. I prepared the implant myself. I know its tolerance limits. It's useless."

"Give it to me, then," Aanli snapped, seizing the container from Qui-Gon's hand. "Don't give up until you must, Master Jinn." She strode to the far side of the room and activated a cytoscanner with a wave of her hand. She slid the implant into the analysis compartment, turning her gaze to the digital readout as the door clicked shut.

Qui-Gon watched her movements impassively. The cells were dead. He knew it. The nanobots in the implant could not maintain Obi-Wan's cells without proper activation of the device. Out of stasis, the cells would have simply shriveled up.

He saw Aanli's shoulders slump as she read the results. Her face was determined, though, as she turned back to him.

"So, you'll contact your bondmate and get a new tissue sample. I'll wager you could have it inside of a week standard. Two at the most. We can schedule the procedure as soon as you hear from him."

"No."

Aanli frowned. "Why not?"

"I won't bother Obi-Wan with this. He has far more important issues to deal with than my petty problems."

Asking his Tiercel to come to Grathos was out of the question. Besides the practical matter of not knowing where in the galaxy his bondmate might be, Qui-Gon was loath to do anything that might postpone completion of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship and their eventual reunion. Obi-Wan could lose as much as a standard month in coming to help him. Then there was the matter of Master Li. She would certainly not be happy if Obi-Wan again dropped everything to go flying across the galaxy to his bonded. No, the best thing for them both was for Obi-Wan to keep his mind on his mission, whatever it might be at the moment.

"But Qui-Gon, if he is your bonded, surely he would want to help you."

"Perhaps a Jedi healer could prepare an implant under your instruction."

"I said no!" Qui-Gon barked.

Aanli's scowl was not lost on the healer, but his resolve was firm.

"What will you do?"

Indeed, what would he do? His recent problems in performing his duties were only too vivid in his mind. Only yesterday, he'd struggled with the birth of a rinka, which might have died if not for Kee's assistance. The worst aspect of his Force deprivation, though, was knowing that animals were in pain because he was not able to diagnose and treat them quickly. His mounting frustration compounded the problem, causing the Force to slip away from him like a slippery eel.

"I don't know what to do. I suppose I shall have to hire an assistant, although it will be difficult to explain to Sirrah Beryt." He rubbed his hand over his forehead and sighed. "Perhaps I should resign."

Aanli shook her head vehemently. "Jinn, that's nonsense. You can't quit -- you're one of the finest animal heaers in this quadrant. We simply need to find a solution other than the implant."

"Obi-Wan and I struggled with this question for months before arriving at the idea for the implant. If you have any suggestions, I'm ready to hear them."

"Well..." Aanli hesitated. "There are the old rumors."

"What are you getting at?" Qui-Gon asked.

She glanced up at him through lowered eyelids. "Do you remember the stories told back in our temple days of certain compounds with Force-enhancing properties?"

Qui-Gon huffed in derision. "Folk tales! Do you expect me to entrust my abilities -- the performance of my duties -- to a bunch of crazy old legends?"

"Don't be so quick to judge," Aanli replied, more excited now. "You know herbalism and pharmaceuticals are special interests of mine. I've put a considerable amount of effort into investigating those old stories. I happen to believe they're true."

"Oh, banthafodder. If there were Force-enhancing drugs, don't you think they would have been refined and distributed all over the galaxy by now?"

"Not if the source was so unlikely, or so rare, that no one has bothered to try." Aanli pulled up a stool, sitting so close to Qui-Gon that their knees touched. "Listen to what I've found. Two centuries ago, a master animal healer was bitten by a type of crotalid, a venomous snake indigenous to an island on only one planet. He reported a staggering enhancement of Force abilities that lasted several days. He replicated the effect a week later with a snake he managed to catch and provoke into biting him. The snake died, though, before he could try it on another willing Force- adept."

Qui-Gon looked skeptical. "Where did you find this information?"

"In an archive at the temple on Fionacci. He wrote of the experience just before he died. He said his greatest regret in life was that he was never again able to experience the effects of the crotalid venom. The information is so detailed, so vivid, Qui-Gon, I believe it's true."

Qui-Gon chewed his lip. It was certainly possible that Force-enhancing compounds existed in nature. They could act through some process of stimulating the midichlorians. If the snake were rare, it would be reasonable that the effect would remain unknown. He couldn't believe he was actually considering such a wild idea, but what did he have to lose?

"If I were willing to try this, how would I go about it?" Qui-Gon asked.

Aanli smiled in triumph. "I know a reptile breeder who specializes in rare species. I could contact him and ask if he knows of a source."

Qui-Gon rubbed his eyes, trying to think of alternatives, but there were none. He resigned himself to at least exploring the option. "All right. Check into it."

"I expect it will cost a stack of credits," she cautioned.

"Funds are not a concern." Qui-Gon said, thankful for the generosity of his employer. "Expediency is, however. Press them for prompt action. If more credits will help, then offer them."

"I'll contact him today." Aanli stood, getting ready to leave. "Are you going to be all right?"

"Of course I will," Qui-Gon grumbled. "It's the animals I worry over."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to contact Obi- Wan?" she pressed.

"Aanli!" Qui-Gon warned.

"Stubborn old fool," she muttered, but pecked him on the cheek before striding from the room to prepare for her departure from Grathos.

* * *

Chapter 2.

[[Coruscant]]
[[24.987<05<01]]

My Qui-Gon:

It was so good to hear from you. It sounds as though Grathos is still in the grips of winter. The thought of you and Marenga riding through the snow makes me wish Coruscant were not a climate-controlled planet. I yearn to see my breath clouding in the air.

Master Li is making slow but steady progress. Her breathing is easier, and she has regained more of her flexibility. I think she pushes herself too hard, but there is nothing I can do to dissuade her. We spend several hours each day in the practice rooms. It's odd to be in a situation where I am forced to slow my moves for her.

When Li does rest, I spend much of my time digging through the information I forwarded here from Grathos. Now that I'm able to access the Order's database, I've traced several of the names of local officials to known aliases of individuals involved in crime organizations. I summarized all the information and presented it to the Council two days ago, along with a full written report. They were interested, but said they need more substantial evidence before they can take any action. One of the Council members promised to take the matter under consideration. I don't know if that means they will actually investigate, but it's better than nothing. I will keep poking around in the database to see if I can find anything more. I've sent Sirrah Beryt a comm telling him about the Council meeting. Be sure to let me know if there are any new developments on Grathos that might help our case.

I have also been reviewing my Keeper's knowledge during this down time. I have to go to Niota soon for one of the periodic retests of my culture and language Marks, so it's a good time to prepare.

I've saved the best news for last. At the end of the meeting with the Council, Master Yoda asked if I felt ready to take on a solo mission while Li regained her strength. Of course I said yes. It's a good sign, Nisha. It's almost surely an indication that my apprenticeship is nearly over.

It can't be too soon for me, my love, since it means we will be together. I'm thankful there is so much to keep my mind occupied, or it would be filled with the ache of missing you. I think the implant has helped this time -- the strain is not so severe -- but it doesn't stop me from wishing I were lying in your arms, safe and warm under the quilts of our big bed.

How are all the animals doing? How is life at the mews? More importantly, how are you? You didn't mention whether or not you are experiencing any Force-access problems. Please tell me how you are doing.

Give Kee and Von my greetings.

Much love from your Tiercel,

Obi-Wan

* * *

"Master Qui-Gon, are you sure you're all right?"

The healer closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He would not be rude to his apprentice. He would not.

"Thank you for your concern, Kee," he said, more tersely than he intended. "I assure you, my problems are temporary. All will be resolved in due time."

As was her way, the young Twi'lek woman was respectful, but persistent. Kee asked quietly, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Qui-Gon avoided her eyes, suspecting the concern he would find there might prove the undoing of his barely maintained composure. She deserved more than evasive replies and half-truths, but he couldn't bring himself to admit the scope of his incapacity, even to her. Damn his pride, anyway.

"You are already a tremendous help to me, Kee," he managed. "I don't know what I would do without you. Please, trust your old master for a little longer?"

In truth, several animals in his keep might have died if it weren't for the Force-assistance of his skilled apprentice. Kee had aided with several diagnoses and surgeries that he was not capable of completing in his present condition. To add to his list of worries, the stress of the situation was making him forgetful. It was unforgivable of him to have left the gate open on the stall of the valuable pair of breeding walibats. They were gone now, despite an extensive search of the ranch property. Even the Beryts had joined in the effort, but it was to no avail.

His apprentice bowed her head. "Yes, Master. Will you need me for anything more this afternoon?"

"No."

She did not look up as she moved away, but Qui-Gon grabbed her arm loosely, and she turned back with a questioning look.

"Thank you, Kee. You're a good apprentice."

She gave him a worried little smile. "Thank you, master." She bowed and ran toward the back of the stables, where Qui-Gon knew she liked to play with the rinka kits. Sometimes, Cait Beryt would join her, and Qui-Gon would hear their soft laughter drift through the stalls. He was grateful that the Mirrah had befriended his student. Kee would soon be a fully qualified animal healer, perhaps at the Beryt Ranch. It was good that the owners knew of her abilities.

Before heading up to his rooms, Qui-Gon turned toward his office to check his messages for a final time that day. It had been two standard weeks since Aanli departed with her promise to search out a pair of the rare crotalids. Two excruciatingly long weeks of watching his abilities eke away, day after day.

Because he couldn't wait idly, he'd spent each evening hunched over his data screen, searching for possible solutions until his burning eyes and aching back forced him to give up for another night. Finally, in the early hours of the previous morning, he had admitted defeat as tears of frustration and exhaustion slipped down his cheeks. He would try the snake serum if Aanli could acquire the animals.

A blue light beckoned on his comm station as he entered the room, signaling a high-priority message. He kicked the door closed as he moved forward, holding his breath, trying to contain the surge of hope until he could see the message screen.

Yes! "Redwind," he commanded.

A holo image of Aanli materialized before him. After a few seconds' delay for the message to decode, the grainy image began to move. Aanli leaned forward and gestured with a commpad in her hand.

"I'm sorry it's taken so long, Qui, but I've found them for you. A healthy pair. You can claim you're acquiring them for research purposes -- investigating breeding requirements for rare reptiles, or some such thing."

She squared her shoulders, as if bracing herself. "That's the good part. The problem is, I don't know if you want them. I searched every avenue I could think of, Jinn, but the only supplier I could find are the Kaengs." The image of Aanli nodded, her face troubled. "Yes, I think it's those Kaengs -- the ones who were implicated in the breeding mill on Grathos last year. I think they've set up operations on Ymor.

"I didn't want to confirm the purchase without your approval. They'll hold the pair for two days. I doubt I can find any others." She held up the commpad. "Look for an encrypted message from me with the cost and details for picking them up. If you still want them, reply to the comm. If I don't hear from you, I'll tell them we're no longer interested. I've left your name out of it, of course."

Aanli shook her head. "I know you're in a bad spot, my friend. I wish there were a simple answer. I'm here if you need me." With that, the image dissolved.

Qui-Gon slumped back into his chair, stunned. This couldn't be happening. What were the odds? As he thought about it, though, he saw the likelihood of disreputable animal breeders collecting and selling rare species. The profit potential was enormous. He was sure the snakes would cost the king's credits. The idea of handing over so much of his savings to those criminals made him sick.

He rubbed his hand across his forehead, imagining himself meeting with one of the loathsome Kaengs, forced to be grateful for what was almost certainly an illegal transaction. If only he could find out something about them, he could turn the information over to the authorities, who might find out if they'd set up another of their horrible animal mills. His mind churned as he sat thinking, and he began to see possibilities. Maybe this was a fortuitous turn of events, after all. Perhaps he could acquire the snakes, and find out more about the Kaengs in the process.

He would tell Aanli to confirm the purchase. For the first time in weeks, Qui-Gon felt the warmth of hope.

* * *

The door of the transport dropped smoothly open with a characteristic sigh, giving Qui-Gon a partial view of the landing pad. The message he'd received from BioSupply Enterprises specifically told him to wait in the landing bay for a representative of the company, but there was no one in sight as Qui-Gon moved out of the ship and scanned the enclosed area. He checked his chrono. He was a bit early, but he couldn't imagine that the sellers wouldn't be watching for him.

A pneumatic hiss brought his attention to a door in the corner of the bay, through which lumbered one of the most disgusting creatures Qui-Gon had ever seen. He wasn't even sure what species it was. The thing sliding toward him had slimy, gray skin, dotted liberally with exuding pustules and scabs.

The healer chuckled to himself. Of course. What an ingenious idea. Send a delivery messenger so revolting that the buyer would be in such a hurry to get away, he wouldn't bother to check the authenticity of the sale permit. They obviously hadn't counted on selling to a Master Animal Healer. Qui-Gon had been elbow-deep in gangrenous bowel tissue enough times not to be put off by the likes of this noxious creature.

The stench worsened exponentially as the thing got closer. Qui-Gon could see a metal box partially hidden under its flipper. He drew himself up to his full height as it stopped in front of him with a squish.

"Snakes?" it grunted as it held out the box.

"Yes," Qui-Gon replied matter-of-factly. "I ordered a breeding pair of indigo-keeled crotalids. Do you have the sale permit?" He made no move to take the box.

The thing looked blankly at him through clouded eyes. Qui-Gon concentrated, reaching out with what limited Force ability he could gather. He was relieved to discover a simple mind, completely befuddled by the human's reaction. It had probably never encountered a life form that hadn't grabbed what it was delivering and run. Splendid. He couldn't have asked for better circumstances.

"Permit?" it asked.

"Those crotalids are a rare species, protected under intergalactic wildlife trade law. You must have a transaction permit for their sale."

The creature processed this concept slowly, but after some effort seemed to understand. It pointed to an electronic chip stuck to the side of the box.

Qui-Gon nodded, removed the chip and slid it into his comm reader. It was the proper form, he had to admit. It listed the planet of origin as Ymor, and the seller as BioSupply Enterprises. It was not, however, coded with the proper authorization. "There's no validation," he said, holding out the comm unit for the creature to see.

It ignored the device, instead thrusting out the box. "Snakes," it insisted.

Qui-Gon concentrated very hard, motioning deliberately with his hand as he spoke. "Where do they come from?"

A dazed look came over the thing as it replied, "Ythor."

Ymor's twin planet. Interesting. Qui-Gon stayed focused. "And who sent you here?"

"Kaeng Ixtha."

Qui-Gon nodded. Aanli's information was correct. "Thank you. I'll take those now."

The creature shook itself, then handed over the box, managing to look tremendously relieved. Qui-Gon slid back the small access panel on the top. They were there, all right. Two crotalids, looking a bit thin, but otherwise healthy.

When he looked up to acknowledge his acceptance, the creature was already oozing its way back to the door. Qui-Gon turned and stepped quickly into the ship.

"Back to Grathos?" the pilot asked.

Qui-Gon secured the box in a safe spot and nodded. "Let's go home."

* * *

Chapter 3.

[[Coruscant]]
[[24.987<06<03]]

My Nisha. Beautiful man.

Do you know what I miss the most? Your hands. Your magnificent, callused hands, which speak so eloquently of devotion to your work. From the first afternoon we spent in the stables, I wondered how such large hands could be so gentle. I marveled at the way you used them to calm and to heal.

When I returned to my room in the padawans' quarters, I lay in bed and fantasized about how your hands would feel if you touched me. I moved my own hands over my body, wondering. Then my fantasies became reality. You took me to the lake and made my dreams come true. Your hands running over my skin made me shiver and beg for more. I was immediately addicted to your touch.

Now, I am torn between memory and fantasy. I remember how your hands felt on my flesh, caressing the small of my back or grasping my hips, and I imagine how it will feel when I am once again with you. Will you skim your palms over my body, pausing to investigate the more interesting features? Will your thumb brush against my lips, so that I might sneak a taste of you with the tip of my tongue? Will your fingers pry into my most sensitive spots, knowing how to quicken my arousal?

I ache for you, Nisha. I imagine your hands stroking up and down my body, harsh, yet soft, pulling the moans from me as I spiral upward. You penetrate my body and my mind, fingers searching and finding the love that I harbor only for you, the passion that belongs only to you. My fantasies are of your hands, your fingers, your touch. I can imagine no other.

And in my dreams, you stroke me until I cry out, reaching for you, pulling you close to me. You are generous in your gift of love, and I am always awed by the gift.

Touch me, Nisha. Reach out your hand so that I might feel it.

Tiercel

* * *

Qui-Gon stared down from the window of his quarters, watching C'idra deliver morning feed to the banthas. The boy beat a hasty retreat as the creatures lumbered forward, but Loca was not intimidated, making a game of darting between the animals' massive feet.

He wondered where Loca found so much energy after the sleepless night they'd shared. Although Marenga was usually the recipient of Qui-Gon's confidences, in the dark hours of this early morning, Loca had been the friend he'd needed. The kanid had stretched out on the bed beside Qui-Gon and listened patiently to his master's worries.

"If this procedure doesn't work, my friend, I will have to resign. I cannot put the animals at greater risk, and it's not fair to Kee."

Loca's ears had drooped, and he whimpered in sympathy.

"I will resign, and then I will probably go mad. I cannot live without the Force and without my work. To be honest, Loca, sometimes, I fear I am already losing touch with reality. I feel so isolated. How do non-sensitive people live like this?"

Loca had fixed him with a recriminating stare.

"No, Loca, my mind is made up. I'm not going to contact him. My problems are not Obi-Wan's responsibility. He has enough to worry about with helping his master recover and studying for his tests. Besides, I don't want Master Li and the Council thinking that his bond with me is going to limit his future as a Knight. The Council already told him they may send him out on a mission all his own, which means he's close to taking his Trials. I won't hold him back."

Qui-Gon shifted under the quilt, making his leg a nice pillow for the kanid's head. "If I can hold out a little longer, my Tiercel will finish, and he will come home to us. Then we can begin our lives the way they are meant to be. We must keep sight of our goal, eh? And not go mad in the waiting."

Qui-Gon had stroked Loca's fur, finding comfort in the connection until the pink hues of morning crept into the room.

Now, it was time for action. Soon he would know his fate.

Qui-Gon moved toward the cage that contained his hope for the future. The crotalids truly were beautiful. They lay quietly, folded back and forth upon each other so many times it was impossible to tell one body from the other. Their skin glistened, the black keels of each scale reflecting the light.

Although he knew they were hungry, Qui-Gon had not fed the snakes. He did not want them to use their precious venom to kill prey when he needed all that he could harvest for his own purposes. If all went well, he would supply the snakes with freshly killed rodents in a short time.

He knew how to go about the extraction and collection of the venom, but he had no information on what the quantity or strength of the dosage should be, or how to administer it. After a lengthy consultation with Aanli, they had decided on a conservative approach, with a small dose of diluted venom given intra- muscularly to the leg, well away from his heart. Since he didn't know if the venom would stand up to the vaporization of the hypospray, he would have to use a syringe.

Qui-Gon picked up the cage and headed down the stairs and into the cold room used for storage and preparation of sensitive pharmaceuticals. If his Force abilities had been normal, he would have been able to take hold of the snakes without risk of a bite, but his abilities were far from reliable. He would leave the crotalids in the cold until their body temperatures dropped a bit, slowing their reflexes.

The chill air bit at Qui-Gon's skin as he entered and placed the cage on the alusteel table, which already held his preparations. Several glass containers were lined up, covered with soft, stretchy film. These were placed next to a container of sterile water and several syringes, along with a series of capped pharmaceutical vials. There was also a container into which Qui-Gon would put the first crotalid after the extraction.

He reviewed his mental checklist. He'd written a note to Kee and left it in his quarters, explaining what he was about to do and giving her Aanli's contact data. He'd then asked her to come by his rooms in 40 minutes. If the venom incapacitated him, she would find the note and be able to deal with the situation, with Aanli's help. He'd briefly considered recording a comm for Obi-Wan, but had decided against it. He believed in contingency planning, but not pessimism. The procedure would work. He simply wouldn't consider any other option.

When he was ready, he stepped before the cage. As Qui-Gon had planned, the snakes had become lethargic in the cold. It was deceptively simple to reach in and grasp one of the crotalids directly behind the head so that it could not bite him. With his other hand he supported the weight of the snake's length, allowing the meter-long body to wrap around his arm.

The snake felt cool and dry, comfortable in its loose embrace as it drew heat from his body for a time. He reached out to the Force, trying to find some sense of it to center himself and make the act to come one sanctioned by the unifying energy of the universe. He refused to become frustrated by his limitations, but thought of Obi-Wan, and what this process could mean for them.

Qui-Gon lifted one of the glass containers. This was the tricky part. Carefully, he pressed the lip of the container against the crotalid's jaw, gently wedging its mouth open. The fangs impaled the covering film near the edge of the vial. Qui-Gon took a steadying breath. So far, so good. He eased his forefinger toward the nose of the snake, sliding his thumb and middle finger toward the venom glands that protruded from the sides of its head. He pushed in and down against the side of the vial.

Nothing at first, but he maintained the pressure. Please, he thought. Another second, and a drop of milky liquid trickled down the side of the vial. He held his breath, afraid to hope. The trickle turned into a fine stream of venom draining from both fangs. He pushed in a light rhythm, encouraging the flow of the precious liquid, calculating the size of the potential doses as it accumulated in the clear vial.

Soon the flow turned to a dribble, and Qui-Gon decided he had collected everything he could from the first crotalid. Slowly, he maneuvered his hand to the rear of the snake's head and lifted it from the vial. Once the snake was safe within the second cage, he turned to the extract.

After assessing the volume, he drew an appropriate amount of sterile water into a syringe, injected the diluent through the film, and swirled the contents gently. He was on more familiar ground now, having prepared thousands of medicinals over the years in much the same manner. He then used the syringe to inject one quarter of the solution into one of the closed vials through a soft portal, and then repeated the procedure three times more. He carefully labeled each vial, holding the last one in hand, twirling it between his fingers. Four vials. Four doses.

By the time Qui-Gon picked up the second crotalid, it had become even more lethargic than the first, complicating the extraction. It was simply too cold for its natural instincts to kick in. Qui-Gon waited for the snake to drain warmth from his bare arm. He had learned patience long ago. It was one thing that had not diminished with his Force deprivation.

He knew it was time to proceed when he felt the irritable stirrings of the crotalid. He took up a second container and gently pried open the jaws. With a bit a coaxing, the snake finally obliged the healer with a goodly quantity of venom. After carefully replacing the snake in its container, he transferred the venom to a storage vial, keeping it at full strength in case he needed to adjust the dilution factor and dosage.

Qui-Gon sat back and looked at the row of small vials, each labeled in his neat hand. The journal entries of the original victim had reported that the effect of the bite had lasted several days. Qui-Gon had already made the calculations. If he and Aanli had guessed correctly, he had eight doses, perhaps enough to last 24 days. He glanced at the crotalids. He would keep the snakes warm so that their metabolism remained active, making them ready for another extraction in seven days or so, about the time they would be ready for a second feeding. There were so many uncertainties.

He focused on the routine business of cleaning up, moving efficiently in the small room. He carefully boxed all but one of the vials and placed seals over the lids, a sign Kee would recognize as indicating medication only her master was authorized to use. Because they had no way of knowing the stability of the extract, Aanli had suggested storing half of the venom solution in the cold chamber, and leaving half at room temperature. It was short work to store them, and return the crotalids to his quarters.

Finally, the moment had come. Qui-Gon sat at the table where he ate his meals, placing before him the vial and a syringe. He closed his eyes and ordered his mind, approaching the next few minutes as a medical procedure, albeit one in which he was the patient. He breathed deeply, assessing the remains of his connection to the Force, needing to remember what his current state felt like so that he could judge any change resulting from the injection.

When he was ready, he allowed himself to focus on the reason he was doing this. His Tiercel. He brought to mind his favorite image of his love, Obi-Wan turning to look over his shoulder as he rode before him up the mountain trail, a hawk on his fist. His smile was wide and his eyes bright as the sun lit up the golden tones of his hair. Keeping that image in the forefront of his mind, Qui-Gon began.

He dropped his leggings far enough to expose his thigh. He wiped the portal of the vial with antiseptic, and then wiped a spot on his leg. He drew the venom into the syringe, then quickly slipped the needle into his leg. He depressed the plunger, and it was over.

He had guessed that the effect would not be immediate, so Qui-Gon was not surprised at the lack of an overwhelming response. If the venom worked as he suspected it might, by stimulating the midichlorians, it would take time to spread through his body. He tucked the now unneeded note he'd left for Kee into his pocket, then moved to his favorite chair to wait. Within moments he was joined by Loca, ever ready to curl up at his master's feet. Qui-Gon tipped his head back and closed his eyes.

Although it would have been difficult to pinpoint the exact moment it began, a change crept through the healer's body, radiating from his center. Qui-Gon felt as though someone were relieving a great constriction from his chest, allowing him to breathe freely for the first time in weeks, or that someone had lifted a veil from his eyes so that he could once again see. It was there, wrapping around him, uncurling inside him, welcoming him. The Force. Qui-Gon felt stinging in the back of his eyes. After a long and wearisome journey, he had finally come home.

* * *

"Master, you must be feeling better." Kee smiled brightly as she finished assisting her master with the birth of a dusty gray foal.

"Yes." Qui-Gon returned her smile, but offered no explanation as to the obvious return of his Force abilities, despite the questioning look on his apprentice's face. He pointed to the mother and her glistening offspring, deflecting the question. "It's always wonderful to see new life, isn't it?"

"Yes, Master." The foal was already struggling to gain her feet as Kee spoke. "I'll clean up here," she offered.

Qui-Gon thanked her and turned toward his office where he would record the animal's birth. Lizett, the mama mare, was a favorite of Mirrah Beryt's. He would have to send her a comm that the birth had gone uneventfully, resulting in another female, which already showed great potential for continuing the excellent bloodline.

The animal healer folded himself behind his small desk and pressed the proper sequence of keys to bring up his breeding records. He hummed lightly to himself, pleased by how well things were going. It had been five days since he had administered the first experimental dose of venom, two days since the second dose. His journal was filled with painstaking records of the response to the serum. Judging by self- administered tests, he was not back to his full prior Force capacity, but it was much better than it had been. He was considering whether to increase the dosage when he took his injection the next day.

His duties as master animal healer completed for the moment, Qui-Gon changed his focus to the research he had begun two nights before. He had devised a systematic approach to searching the public records for any association between the Kaengs, the planets Ythor and Ymor, and the provincial officials suspected of corruption on Grathos. He'd left the program running the previous evening, and now brought up the search results.

BioSupply Enterprises, the supplier of the crotalids, was listed as a registered business on Ymor, owned by the Kaengs. There were also various listings of news and social events in which the Kaengs were involved. It seemed they were quite the philanthropists on Ymor. There were no listings tying the Kaengs to Grathos, however, making Qui-Gon suspect that the public records had been altered. They had certainly been tied to the operations of the animal mill the previous year. There were several associations between provincial officials on Grathos and the records of Ymor. The provincial governor was listed as owning land on Ythor, the only mention of that planet.

Qui-Gon skimmed the results a second time, making notes of names and associations Obi-Wan might find useful in his research. He was about to turn the display off when a name from an Ymor news packet caught his eye. It identified a man in a holoimage who was shaking hands with one of the Kaengs. They were both patrons of the arts, it seemed. Qui-Gon frowned. He knew the name, but couldn't place it. He jotted it down at the bottom of the list, and cut off the display.

It had been a long day. Qui-Gon could tell the effects of the serum were beginning to wane. He glanced at the chrono. Twelve hours more and he could take another injection. Qui-Gon waved out the light as he left his office, whistling for Loca to accompany him up the stairs to his room.

* * *

Chapter 4.

[[Republic Transport *Loran*]]
[[24.987<06<09]]

Dear Qui-Gon,

I am en route to Coruscant after completing my first solo mission. It was nothing challenging, but I must admit to feeling proud that it went well. I was sent to give expert testimony in a murder trial involving a member of the ruling family of Morpok. The Prince claimed a member of a rival family had killed his brother using a bil-nithra, which is an ancient weapon even I've only seen two or three times before. I was able to convince them that it would not have been possible, as the accused didn't have the proper bodily appendages necessary to use a bil-nithra. There were still ruffled feathers (literally) when I left, but the immediate crisis seemed to have been resolved.

It was odd to be on a mission without Master Li. I kept thinking I should be able to turn and talk with her, but of course she was back on Coruscant. I guess it's something every apprentice must get used to.

I just received your list of names and record citations, and will turn them over to the Council as soon as I get back. It was fortunate that your friend found the connection to Ymor and Ythor. Shortly before I left on this mission, one of the council members told me the investigation was proving to be worthy of the attention of the Jedi. Although that probably means the corruption on Grathos is part of a more serious matter, at least it will be investigated.

I am so relieved to finally hear that you are not suffering from Force deprivation. Do you think that the bond stabilized when we were together? That may mean I can remove the implant without any negative effects. I must say, though, that I like knowing that I am carrying a small part of you with me wherever I go.

I must make landing preparations, so will send this off now. I miss you, my Nisha.

OWK

* * *

"Where is my master animal healer?" A booming voice rang through the stables.

Qui-Gon patted the rump of the eopie he'd been examining before turning toward the broad central aisle of the stables. "Right here, Sirrah Beryt," he called out as he strode forward.

Kerol Beryt, the owner of the breeding ranch, was ready with a broad grin as he saw the healer approach. The Mirrah Cait Beryt nodded a greeting from her place at her husband's side. Qui-Gon was once again struck by the contrast between them -- Kerol's short, stout form complimented by Cait's tall, lean figure. As different as they were physically, they were alike in their devotion to the ranch and its animals.

"Cait has done nothing but dote on the new foal that Parrish sired. She finally cajoled me into coming to see her."

"I'm glad she did. It's good to see you, Kerol. You should visit the stables more often."

The small group turned toward the horse stalls. "Oh,I know, I know, but the business end of things keeps me more than busy."

"Nonsense," his wife admonished. "You could make time in your day to come to the stables. I hate to see you cooped up in the house day after day. How else are you to know what is really happening around this place?"

"I have you to tell me, my dear," Kerol said. Cait rolled her eyes and shook her head, giving in to what seemed to be an old argument.

They had reached the large stall where the foal stood drowsing next to her mother, Lizett. The young one was over a week old now, her genetics obvious in her clean lines and strong features.

"Ah, she is a beauty," Kerol said. "Her sire was a good investment for the Beryt line."

Qui-Gon nodded, "As was Lizett. They should give you many fine foals over the years."

They passed a pleasant few minutes watching the beautiful animals and reviewing the breeding plan for the coming season. Several of the finer males were to be hired out for stud on a neighboring ranch.

As they finally broke away from the stall to head back to the open doors of the stable, Kerol peered closely at the healer. "Are we working you too hard, Qui-Gon? You look tired."

Before Qui-Gon could answer, Cait cut in. "Of course he is. You both work too hard. When is the last time either of you went riding? Or hawking?" She nodded her head decisively. "That's exactly what you both need, a day off in the hills with the birds. How about tomorrow? I'll comm Master Von at the mews for you to make arrangements."

Both men looked a bit sheepish, afraid to contradict the orders of the Mirrah. Qui-Gon spoke after an awkward silence. "I suppose I could spare the time. It would be nice to get out."

Kerol received a stern glance from his wife, and replied in the affirmative. "How about an afternoon hunt? We can catch the late thermals over the western fields."

The decision made, the men agreed on a time to meet at the mews, while Cait made no effort to hide a self- satisfied smile. The couple then bade the healer a good day and turned toward the door. Qui-Gon saw them link arms as they left the building.

It would be good to get out into the hills, Qui-Gon thought. He realized with a start that he hadn't been hawking since Obi-Wan had been there. He hadn't even considered the idea while his Force abilities were impaired, and since he'd begun taking the snake serum, he hadn't thought about anything but catching up on his work.

He did a quick calculation as he realized how important use of the Force was for hawking. He would need to be in top form with Sirrah Beryt along. Kerol was good with the birds, but sometimes needed a bit of covert assistance when it came to the finer points.

He had taken his latest injection the previous evening, which should last until after the hunting expedition, but it was cutting it close. Even though he had now doubled the original dosage, the effects didn't last much longer than in the beginning. At that dosage, his Force abilities had been fully restored, even augmented, but the effect lasted no longer than two days. It might be best to take a small dose to be sure he would make it through the day.

* * *

Qui-Gon slipped the needle from his thigh, already feeling the warm flush of the venom as it spread outward through his body. Now that he knew what to expect, he could readily feel the subtle changes wrought by even the half-dose of serum he'd taken. He imagined his midichlorians welcoming this gift of nature that Aanli had been foolish enough to believe in. It made him slightly giddy.

He'd considered waiting until the midday hour before taking the injection, but had in the end been afraid that he would become too busy with work to find the time to take the venom before the scheduled expedition with Sirrah Beryt. So, directly after his morning meal, he had gone through his newfound ritual of diluting the extract, filling the syringe and sliding it into his body. After allowing a moment to relish the first flush of the serum, he put the materials neatly into their assigned storage space and clapped his leg for Loca. He was ready for his day.

He moved neatly aside at the doorway so that the black kanid could once again succeed in his never- ending quest to be first down the stairs. One of the unexpected effects of the venom was that Qui-Gon had come to know exactly where his pet was at all times. In fact, his connection to all the animals had become enhanced over his pre-bond level. He was able to diagnose and assist the animals in his care with extraordinary swiftness and accuracy, for which he was immensely grateful.

And then there were the other effects, things Qui-Gon had to admit were -- fun. Levitation was as simple as a wave of the hand, with very little concentration required. He could crawl under a floating bantha to treat a foot sore with confidence, although the shaggy beast was a bit discomfited. He'd even managed to outlast Loca in his favorite pastime of chasing a tossed ball. When the toy could be thrown with the twitch of a finger, even Loca's high energy level was eventually overwhelmed.

All in all, the injections had infiltrated their way into every aspect of his life. Qui-Gon didn't know whether his hearing was truly more acute and his vision sharper, or if the Force-enabling only made it seem so. Whichever it was, he reveled in the feeling. As he puttered through a light morning work schedule, thinking all the while of the afternoon in the hills, Qui-Gon began to wonder if he might even be able to fly. He shook his head and laughed at himself.

* * *

A hint of spring was in the air as Qui-Gon followed Sirrah Beryt up the narrow mountain trail. Marenga lifted her head to take deep breaths of the scents given off by the rapidly warming earth. A few spring wildflowers were beginning to poke their heads up between the stubborn patches of snow, with the first appearance of blood lilies and snowcaps that would soon blanket the hillsides.

The gyr on his fist recognized the signs, too, Qui- Gon knew. Even hooded, the bird's senses were sharply attuned to changes in the environment. Qui-Gon could feel her rapidly processing the information she picked up with each shift of the wind, each twist of the trail. The Force enhancement had made his connection to the bird exponentially more intimate. He could hardly wait for the moment when she would slip off the gauntlet and rise into the air, for he would feel it sharply himself. The idea was almost arousing.

When the trail broke out into a meadow, Kerol dropped back to ride aside Qui-Gon and Marenga. "It's wonderful to be out, isn't it? I should know by now that my dear Cait is always right about such things."

"Sometimes we need to be reminded to get out and enjoy life's pleasures," Qui-Gon said. "You are lucky to have the Mirrah watching out for you."

"And you have your handsome young Jedi friend, eh, my master healer?" Kerol smiled.

Qui-Gon's cheeks flushed, and he simply nodded.

"You must miss him." Kerol gave Qui-Gon a sidelong glance. "I understand you are going to take life-vows once his apprenticeship is complete."

Qui-Gon squirmed in the saddle and harrumphed an acknowledgement. Force, he didn't like talking about such things with his employer, but Kerol seemed oblivious to his discomfiture.

"Cait and I have been talking about the ceremony. We thought if it were during the summer, we could hold it in the flower garden at the rear of the main house. We'd need to use the long porch for the reception, though, in order to accommodate all the people."

At some point during the last sentence Qui-Gon dropped both his jaw and his fist. The gyr bated off the glove, fluttering at the end of her jesses and crying her resentment of such uncouth treatment by her normally trustworthy handler. After much flapping of wings and ruffled feathers, she settled back on the glove, stiff with annoyance.

"Ceremony? What ceremony?" Qui-Gon squeaked.

Kerol looked at him with round, innocent eyes. "Didn't Obi-Wan tell you?"

Qui-Gon scowled and shook his head.

"The Mirrah and I want to host your life-vows ceremony. In these troubled times, it will be an important event for the community. All the neighbors will want to share in your joy."

A public ceremony? Standing in front of a mass of strangers professing his innermost feelings? Qui-Gon barely managed to suppress a shudder. Obi-Wan evidently knew about the plans, but hadn't felt compelled to share this bit of information. Indeed, he'd evidently agreed to the idea. Qui-Gon simmered.

"Sirrah Beryt," he began stiffly, "I appreciate your generosity, but our ceremony will be a private one."

Kerol's eyebrows rose. "Oh, 'Sirrah Beryt,' is it?" His face turned gentle. "Please, don't be angry, Qui- Gon. I know you're a private man, but true love is rare, something to be proud of, something to be shouted from the hilltops. I know. The Mirrah and I never had such a chance."

"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Our marriage was arranged by our parents. She comes from a short-lived race of humans, whose culture considers the idea of developing a personal relationship with a potential spouse to be a waste of time. My family had little money, but a wealth of land. Her family was just the opposite. It was decided early on that joining the two families was eminently practical. We were simply pawns in their economic strategy."

"I had no idea. The two of you seem to love each other."

"Oh, we do! I thank the Great Xoctl every day that Cait is a part of my life, but it was never my choice." Kerol looked him in the eye. "Do you see, my Master Jinn, that the relationship between you and Obi-Wan is precious to us? I know it's wrong to live vicariously, but won't you indulge an old man his penchant for romance?"

Fortunately, the trail narrowed at that point, entering a thicket of trees. "I'll think about it," Qui-Gon replied, and dropped back to follow Kerol into the chill air of the copse.

The remainder of the afternoon sped by in a delightful fashion. Both birds were keen to please their handlers, performing at their very best. Qui-Gon allowed the Sirrah to hunt first, leaning forward in his saddle to watch the gray tiercel take to the air, soaring to an optimal height where it staged itself perfectly, hovering on point. A pair of geraults flushed from the grassy meadow as the men and horses charged forward, with the second of the two firmly in the talons of the predator mere seconds later. Kerol's face shone with pleasure as he replaced the hood on the falcon and pocketed the fat gerault in a leather pouch.

As Qui-Gon positioned himself for the gyr's flight, he couldn't resist reaching into her mind. Her anticipation was acute, her body practically trembling in excitement. Qui-Gon reminded himself that he must break the connection once she was in the air, the potential for distraction being too much of a risk to her safety. He removed the hood, and for a second, he could have sworn he saw through her eyes, every leaf and stem crisply defined, every movement of air instantly interpreted relative to her incipient flight. He drew back his arm, felt her muscles bunch, and she was airborne.

He went with her. Despite his earlier self- admonition, he allowed the Force connection to continue, and he could indeed see the ground dropping away from under her, feel the temperature decline as she climbed higher and surveyed the hunting ground. He felt the thrill of strong muscles put to their intended use, of reading the subtlest air currents, instinctively finding the proper place to hover in the sunshine, waiting.

Marenga moved under him, following Kerol's lead, pulling Qui-Gon mentally back to the ground. He gave the horse free rein to do as she had been trained, quickly returning to his presence in the avian mind. A cross-wind caught the gyr from the north, and she adjusted her position smoothly. Her eyes scanned the field, avidly searching for movement that would indicate prey.

In a disconcerting moment of double vision, Qui-Gon saw the birds take flight from the field at the same moment the gyr saw them. Instantly, she was falling, wings tucked against her side, the wind rushing past her eyes. Qui-Gon saw the ground racing upward impossibly fast, and involuntarily pushed back in his saddle, threatened by the perception of imminent danger. The gyr felt no fear. There was only intense concentration, followed by the thrill of a rapid brake of speed and the instant dispatch of the gerault in her talons.

"Qui-Gon, are you all right?"

Kerol's voice brought Qui-Gon back to his own reality. "Yes, sir. Just fine," he answered, but his heart was still pounding with the rush of the hunt as he moved forward to retrieve the gyr and her prey. Never before had he experienced anything even remotely like this. He couldn't wait to feel it again.

Both men were quiet on the ride back to the ranch. Qui-Gon marveled at the amazing connection made possible by the snake venom. He wondered what the limits of the serum were, if any. What sort of manifestations would he experience at higher doses?

The sun was low on the horizon by the time they rode out of the woodlands into the valley, where Qui-Gon's conjecturing was interrupted by the pull of Kee's mind. As another consequence of the injections, Qui- Gon had experienced an enhancement of the empathic bond he shared with his apprentice. Now, he felt distress coming from her.

He said to Sirrah Beryt, "I think we should move quickly. Something has happened."

Qui-Gon's concern increased as they reached the ranch property. Kee was becoming more upset with each moment. When Von came running out of the mews to meet them, Qui-Gon knew it must be serious.

"Qui-Gon, Kee has been trying to find you," he said as he took the falcons and hunting sacks from both men. "You must go to the stables immediately."

"What's wrong?" Kerol asked.

"I do not know the details, but I think one of the animals is missing."

Not again, Qui-Gon thought. As Marenga galloped toward the stables, Qui-Gon tried to keep calm, mentally reviewing the events of the morning. How had a gate been left open? Everyone who worked in the stables had become acutely sensitized after the walibats had disappeared.

Kee was talking to Cait Beryt when Qui-Gon and Kerol rode into the stables and dismounted. She turned toward her master as they approached.

"Master, Parrish is gone! And Solaris! C'idra went out to the back pasture to bring them in for the night, and couldn't find them. I looked with him, and there's no sign of them anywhere nearby. We've checked the fenceline and the gates, and everything is secure. I don't know how they got out."

"Kerol, I'm so worried," Cait said.

Her husband wrapped his arms around her. "We'll find them, dear. We'll start a search right away."

Qui-Gon drew the Force into him, focused it, and reached out to scan the immediate area, searching for the resonance of the two horses, but found nothing. It was essential they be recovered quickly. As two of the finest animals of the Beryt breeding stock, they were tremendously valuable. A stumble in the dark could result in a broken leg, something even a master healer would have difficulty mending.

If he thought he could order Sirrah Beryt and the staff to stay at the stables and allow him to search alone, Qui-Gon would do it, but he knew better. They would insist on helping. Best to take charge of the situation and keep them as safe as possible.

"We need to start quickly, but it's getting dark, and I don't want people rushing out unprepared. Kerol, have the kitchens put together packets of provisions quickly. It will be cold out there tonight. Kee, round up the staff who want to help, and have them meet here in ten minutes. Be sure everyone has a comm unit and a glowlamp. Cait, you and C'idra saddle up the work horses. I'll be right back." Orders given, he headed up the stairs to his personal quarters.

Even for staff familiar with the territory, Qui-Gon knew that riding in the dark and cold would be risky. It was too easy for a mount to misstep, or an individual to become lost. If he could use the Force to sense the horses, he could have them back safely in their stalls within minutes, an hour at most.

Qui-Gon strode to the cabinet in which he stored the snake venom and his paraphernalia, pulling the items out in a rush. He needed a full dose, at least, to enhance his Force abilities to the necessary extent. His hands shook as he drew the cloudy liquid into the syringe. He noticed with dismay that it was half of what he had left. He would have to make the most of it.

He stopped as he undid his belt to bare his leg for the injection. What if, he wondered. Would the injection take hold more quickly if it were not administered into his leg muscle?

It took only half a moment to decide. Qui-Gon pulled the belt from around his waist, threaded the end through the buckle, and slid the loop up his arm. He tightened the strap, watching the vein on the inside of his elbow pop up. The needle slid in smoothly. Qui-Gon held his breath, and sent the venom into his vein.

He gasped as the world changed. Every detail of his surroundings pressed against his senses. It was as almost as though he were back in the gyr's mind. He could see with such high resolution, it took a moment to break the details into meaningful images. He could detect different scents with each shift of air movement, clearly decipher conversations going on downstairs. The Force spoke to him, too, swelling and ebbing within the room. His skin tingled with its latent energy.

This was what he needed. He would be able to find the missing horses now. Qui-Gon grabbed a coat and headed back down the stairs, mentally calling for Loca to join him. The kanid could help shepherd the horses back home.

* * *

Chapter 5.

[[Republic Cruiser Arien]]
[[24.987<07<29]]

Dear Qui-Gon;

Did you receive my last two communiqués, dated 24.987<06<21 and 24.987<07<08? I am concerned because I have not heard from you.

I am on Niota with Master Li. Since she feels well enough to travel, we came here for a periodic Keeper's evaluation on several of my languages and cultural histories. I may have a surprise for you when I see you next.

Please send me at least a short comm.

Love,

Obi-Wan

* * *

Von handed a steaming cup of his favorite Niotan tea to Kee, who sat slumped on a stool in the corner of his workroom. "Is there no news at all?" he asked.

Kee shook her head. "No, nothing. After five days, I really don't have any hope of finding them. It's so sad."

Von studied Qui-Gon's apprentice as she sipped from her cup. She looked more dejected than he had ever seen her. He was glad he'd exercised his position as Master of the Mews to summon her to the hawkery on the pretense of examining one of the birds.

"Mirrah Cait has even convinced Sirrah Beryt to give up the search," she went on. "The only one left out there is Master Qui-Gon."

That was no surprise. Unswerving determination could be a boon or a fault, and with Qui-Gon, it was a close thing. "He will not give up?"

"It's become an obsession with him, Master Von. He's out at all hours of the night and day, barely staying at the stables long enough to treat the most serious patients. As far as I know, he doesn't eat or sleep. I've tried to talk to him, but he says he doesn't Have time. He looks terrible."

"He looked a bit gaunt when he came here before the horses ran off. I wondered then if he had been ill."

Kee sighed. "You should see him now. I don't know how he keeps going. I'm so worried about him, but he won't talk to me, and I can't reach him through our bond."

Von blinked, puzzled. "Bond? I thought Qui-Gon was bonded to Obi-Wan."

Kee shook her head. "No, this is different. Master Qui-Gon and I have a connection through my relationship to him as a student. We're not telepathic like Master is with Obi-Wan, but the bond allows us to work together very closely, sense each other's presence and emotions. Lately, the bond has been fading. I mentioned it to my Master, but he said he thought our bond had gotten stronger. It doesn't make sense to me."

Von drank his tea, thinking about the complexities of the master animal healer. The man was beyond his understanding. "Perhaps it is the Force energy he speaks of. Do you think he senses a presence through this energy that makes him think he can find the horses?"

"I asked him that, but he didn't answer. He can be kind of gruff at times." She shrugged. Von had long ago decided the sweet young woman must have a core of steel to have survived Qui-Gon's tutelage.

"You know, I'm Force-sensitive, too," she continued. "My abilities aren't as highly developed as my master's, but they're fairly good, and I didn't feel any sense of Parrish or Solaris when C'idra and I first rode out to look for them. It was as though they had disappeared."

"But animals do not disappear."

Kee considered before speaking. "No, not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

She looked into his eyes. "Do you want to know what I think happened to them?"

Von nodded.

"I think they were stolen. I think someone pulled a transport up to the woods on the edge of the pasture and took both horses away. They could do it without being seen, if the animals were already back there. That would explain the complete lack of Force presence, and my master's inability to find them. They're not here to be found."

Stolen? Von sat back, shocked. The idea was hardly credible. Were there beings who would stoop so low as to steal an animal? "Who would do such a thing?" he asked.

"Any unscrupulous breeder. Both Parrish and Solaris were high quality breeding stock. Either of them could bring millions of credits to a smart breeder."

"But surely someone would have seen the transport. It would have taken time to round up the horses and load them into a strange ship. Wouldn't someone in the stables have noticed?"

"C'idra was the only one at the stables, and he was working inside, mending harnesses."

Von shook his head, not wanting to believe, but finding himself persuaded by Kee's logic. He had been thinking for days how awful it would be if one of the falcons, or worse yet, one of his eagles disappeared. He would be beside himself with worry. This new explanation shifted his concern. If horses could be stolen, why not one of the birds? These criminals must be caught.

"Kee, do you think the birds are at risk? Or the other animals?"

"I suppose anything is possible. It makes me wonder about the pair of walibats that disappeared a few months ago. We thought their cage had been left open, but now...." She shrugged.

"You should talk to your master about this right away."

Kee bit her lower lip, debating. Finally, she said, "I'm afraid to, Master Von. Before you came to Grathos, my Master had ... problems. I'm afraid if he thinks Parrish and Solaris were stolen, the problems will come back. He's already under so much stress."

Strange. Von couldn't imagine Qui-Gon having problems that would prevent him from dealing with the possible theft in his usual, straightforward manner, but Kee was certainly convinced of it. Her knuckles had turned white as they gripped her empty cup. He removed it before it shattered in her hands.

"Kee, would you like me to talk to your master? Maybe I can help him in some way."

Her face brightened. "Would you? I've been trying to decide whether to contact Obi-Wan, I've been so worried. If you talk to Master Qui-Gon, you can tell me what you think, and we can decide what to do together."

"Of course I will. Comm me when he is back at the stables and I will come over. Meanwhile, I think you should talk to Sirrah Beryt about your theory. He should get the provincial authorities here as soon as possible to look for evidence."

"I'll do it right away," she said, and rose from the stool to leave.

* * *

It was two days before Von received a message from the nearly-distraught Kee, urging him to go to her master's quarters as quickly as he could. Von could hear cupboard doors crashing and heavy boots pounding the floorboards as he climbed the stairs to the second floor of the stables where Qui-Gon lived. It sounded as though the master animal healer was in quite a mood. Von found himself wishing he hadn't been so quick to offer Kee his help. Truth be told, he had always been a bit intimidated by Qui-Gon. He hesitated before the door, fist raised to knock.

"What do you want, Von?" Qui-Gon's voice bellowed.

Oh, well. Von steeled himself and pushed on the latch.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked, as he walked through the front rooms and around the corner to the kitchen.

He stopped short, staring at the healer. Kee had not exaggerated. Qui-Gon looked not merely as though he were sick, but as if he had been suffering from a prolonged and severe illness. Dark circles under his eyes stood out in sharp contrast to pallid skin. His disheveled clothes hung loosely on his much thinner frame. His hair was dirty.

"You were standing there oozing indecision. How could I not notice?" Qui-Gon thumped a pan onto the counter with a crash, and then turned toward the cooler.

Von hesitated, realizing he'd have to abandon his planned approach. He went with the obvious. "Is something wrong?"

Qui-Gon scowled as he pulled out a container of eggs. "They think they were stolen, you know." He cracked eggs into the pan, three in sequence, unmindful of the bits of shell that fell in.

"I heard," Von said quietly.

"Kerol had the authorities out here this afternoon, poking around my stables, walking through the pasture." He whipped the eggs savagely, splashing liquid about. "As if those crooked bastards would do anything if they did find evidence."

"Did they find something? What did they tell Kerol?"

Von stared as Qui-Gon waved his hand over the stovetop and flames jumped up from the heating unit. Qui-Gon slammed the pot onto the burner and wheeled around.

"I'll tell you what they said," he shouted. "They told Sirrah Beryt that someone from the stables must have helped. They said that someone from my staff must have been in on it, in order for the thieves to get the horses away so quickly." He picked up a fork, and Von involuntarily took a step back.

"I told them what I think of their theory. I told them there were plenty of thieves and crooks on Grathos, but they damn well weren't going to find them in my stables!"

Dark smoke started to rise above the stove, and an acrid smell filled the air. Qui-Gon didn't seem to notice.

Von pointed. "Your eggs are burning."

Qui-Gon spun around and cursed vehemently. He grabbed the pot from cooker, pulled out the waste bin, and stuffed the whole thing deep inside.

Von searched for something to say that didn't seem totally inane. "Surely there are some honest people in the government."

"If there are, I'd like you to show them to me," Qui- Gon spat back.

"Maybe you should go off-planet for assistance. Perhaps Obi-Wan could help."

Qui-Gon fixed him with an icy glare. "You stay away from my Obi-Wan," he hissed.

Oh, no. Von shook his head emphatically. "Qui-Gon, I didn't mean anything by that." He cast about desperately. "Mirrah Beryt's family is wealthy. Maybe the Donaughs could use their influence to get some answers."

Qui-Gon's expression changed abruptly, blank confusion replacing anger. Von prepared for another outburst, but when Qui-Gon spoke, it was frighteningly quiet.

"What did you say?" he whispered.

"I said maybe Mirrah Beryt's family could help. The Donaughs have a lot of money and influence."

Qui-Gon stepped forward until he was inches from Von's face. It took great effort not to step back, but Von managed it.

"What planet are they from?"

Von shook his head. "I don't know. Somewhere in the Ylgorian quadrant, I believe."

Qui-Gon's eyes went wide. "You have to go," he ordered. Suddenly, Von felt himself propelled bodily out of the room, Qui-Gon practically lifting him off the floor as he rushed him to the door. Before he could find words to reply, Von was standing in the stairwell with the sound of the slamming door ringing in his ears.

He descended the steps, helpless to understand what had come over Qui-Gon, but certain of one thing. It was time to contact Obi-Wan.

* * *

Chapter 6.

"Padawan, you have a comm from Grathos."

Obi-Wan heaved a sigh of relief as he walked toward the ship's console, where his master sat. "It's about time. It's been so long since I've heard from Qui- Gon, I was getting worried."

Master Li shook her head as he took her place before the viewscreen. "It's not from Qui-Gon. It's from Von. Let me know when you're through, because I have news for you." She left the room to give him privacy.

The relief flooding through Obi-Wan was replaced by a stream of ice. It could be nothing, he told himself as he keyed up the message. Von did occasionally write to him about events in the mews. But deep inside, he knew something was wrong.

He scanned through the message quickly, and then read it a second time, the words burning into his brain. "Obsessive behavior ... weight loss ... incommunicative ... illness." Images of the terrible evening he had saved Qui-Gon from Darkness flashed through Obi-Wan's mind. He remembered vividly the night he had struggled to reach the healer before he might succumb to the evil that flowed around him. It had come close to drawing Qui-Gon into its grip following his desperate efforts to save the creatures in an animal mill.

He read the final lines a third time. "Kee and I are unable to help him. I urge you to contact Qui-Gon to try and determine what the problem is. I stand ready to assist you."

Obi-Wan saved the comm and sat back in his seat, sickened by the realization of his fears. His heart pounded. Qui-Gon was in trouble, but was it a relapse into his brush with the Dark side? How was he to find out? He was en route to Coruscant with Master Li, awaiting their first assignment following her recovery.

"Master?" he called out.

Within moments, she walked into the room with her usual purposeful stride. Obi-Wan never ceased to be impressed by the sense of presence she generated, despite her small stature. Contradicting his own concern, she was smiling. The pleased flush on her cheeks made her intricate tattoos, her Marks of Accomplishment, stand out in contrast.

"I have good news for you, Obi-Wan."

"I'm afraid the message from Von was just the opposite. Qui-Gon is ill." It was an effort to hold his voice steady.

Li's face collapsed as she heard the news. "Oh, my Li-tzu," she said. "What's wrong?"

The endearment brought a lump to Obi-Wan's throat. "I don't know, precisely. Von says Qui-Gon is behaving erratically, and looks as though he's quite sick. I haven't heard from him in almost two months, so I've been worried that something's wrong. I'm not sure what to do." He looked at his master, weighing his options, but her next words turned his world around.

"Before you decide, let me tell you my news, Obi-Wan. I received a message from Master Yoda. You've been approved for your Trials. As soon as we complete our next mission, you are to report to Coruscant for instructions."

Obi-Wan stared, dumbstruck. He had imagined this moment so many times, but always as one filled with elation and pride. Instead, he felt stress and a cold knot in his stomach. He buried his head in his hands.

Li stepped forward and squeezed his shoulder. "We'll be out of hyperspace shortly. Why don't you try to set up a live holocomm with Qui-Gon? Surely the Ranch has a portal. What is the time on Grathos?"

A live holocomm? Every ship was equipped for such a transmission, but it was a rare extravagance in the Jedi ranks, reserved for Council members or extreme emergencies. "It would be midmorning there, but Master, are you sure?" Obi-Wan asked.

She smiled sadly, tracing a finger over his cheek. "Yes, my Li-tzu. Special circumstances call for special measures. See if you can set it up."

Trying to keep a check on his worries, Obi-Wan focused on the byzantine process of arranging the live transmission. He discovered the Ranch did have a portal, located in Kerol Beryt's business quarters. Twenty minutes after emerging from hyperspace, Obi- Wan sent the code that would alert Sirrah Beryt of an impending holocomm. He set the time for the comm as thirty minutes away, and indicated it was meant for Master Animal Healer Jinn. Hopefully, the Sirrah would notice the message and summon Qui-Gon to his office.

Obi-Wan sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. Nothing to do but wait. He closed his eyes and reached for the comfort of the Force.

* * *

"Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon!"

The healer hurriedly keyed the viewscreen of his comm module off. Of all the times for his employer to come bursting into his office! Fortunately, Kerol's exertions had put such a strain on him, he didn't notice what Qui-Gon was doing. Instead, the Sirrah leaned against the wall, holding his hand to his heaving chest while struggling for composure. He must have run all the way from the house.

Qui-Gon stared at him for several moments. "Well?" he finally asked.

Kerol grinned, despite his gasps for breath. "A message for you. Live holocomm from Obi-Wan. In ten minutes."

"What? Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon frowned. The Jedi didn't send holocomms.

"I know it seems odd, but I checked the message twice. The code is valid. You're getting a live holocomm message in a few minutes. We need to get moving!" Kerol grabbed the larger man's arm and pulled ineffectively. "Let's go."

Qui-Gon didn't rise. What miserable timing. Oh, he would love to see Obi-Wan, of course, to actually hear his lover's voice, but it would be too much of a distraction right now. He had a solid lead on the horses' disappearance, and he had to stay focused. Shaking his head, he said, "I'm working on something extremely important. Tell him that I'll send a comm tonight. He'll understand."

Sirrah Beryt stepped back with a frown on his face, and put his hands on his hips. "I'll do no such thing. The Great Xoctl only knows how difficult it was for Obi-Wan to set this up. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, Qui-Gon Jinn, with all your strange behavior, but you will come with me to the holo portal, now!"

Qui-Gon assessed him through narrowed eyes. The little man could be forceful when he put his mind to it. It seemed the quickest way of getting through this was to agree to take the comm. He would keep the conversation short. Qui-Gon grunted his displeasure as he got up and followed Kerol from the room.

The two men walked up the narrow pathway from the stables to the Ranch offices, a chilly spring wind nipping at them. Kerol looked back over his shoulder, his face stern.

"Straighten your hair," he said. "You're a shambles."

Qui-Gon's hand went up to his hair, felt the knots in it and tried to pull it back into a braid, but it was useless. He looked down at his tunic, for the first time noticing several large stains. He brushed at them futilely. He probably did look a bit untidy.

They entered the small office building where Kerol ushered him to a stool before the comm portal. "It will only be a minute more. We're just in time." He pointed at a blue button on the unit. "Press this when you hear a beep. I'll be in the outer room."

"Probably afraid I'll try to escape," Qui-Gon muttered to himself. The door had barely closed when the promised beeping began. Qui-Gon reached forward and pressed the button, causing a fuzzy image of Obi-Wan to materialize before him, about 30 cm in height.

The sight made Qui-Gon's heart skip. Force, it had been so long since he'd touched those lips, run the long braid through his fingers. Qui-Gon looked for a mechanism to zoom the image in on Obi-Wan's face, but couldn't find it.

Obi-Wan tipped his head to the side. "Nisha?" The transmitted voice was metallic, but recognizable.

Qui-Gon steeled himself. Stay focused. There was work to be done. "Hello, Obi-Wan. Where are you?"

"I'm on the Arien. I've got good news, Qui-Gon. Master Li suggested the holocomm."

"Ah." He did look wonderful. Qui-Gon stopped himself from reaching out to touch the illusion.

The holo figure leaned forward, as though Obi-Wan was squinting at him. "Qui-Gon, you don't look well. Are you ill?"

Qui-Gon's hand flew to his hair, trying to smooth it. "No. Two of the horses are missing and I've lost sleep looking for them, but I think I know now where they are. I can't talk long."

"You look more than just tired, Qui-Gon. Are you having trouble with Force deprivation?"

Qui-Gon squirmed on the stool, searching for a version of the truth. "I was, for a bit. But I've found a solution to the problem, and now my connection to the Force stronger than ever."

"What solution? Did you use the implant? Why didn't you tell me? Nisha, what have you done?"

"Obi-Wan, I've already told you, I'm fine. I need to take care of this problem with the horses, and then everything can get back to normal." He changed the topic. "What is your news?"

Obi-Wan hesitated, and Qui-Gon could tell he was torn. Finally, he answered.

"I've been approved for my Trials. Once we finish our next mission, I'm to report to Coruscant. We'll be together soon."

A flood of emotion threatened, but Qui-Gon pushed it back. He had to stay on task. "Congratulations. That is good news." He paused, reaching for something to say that would not undo his composure. "Good luck," he added.

Obi-Wan shook his head, the image blurring at the motion. "Nisha, I'm worried about you. Why won't you tell me what's happening?"

The questions were becoming tiresome. "Obi-Wan, I do not have the time to sit here repeating myself. I've already told you I am looking for a pair of lost horses. Is there anything else?"

"Should I come to Grathos to help?"

"No!" Qui-Gon covered his alarm with a dismissive gesture. "I mean, you should focus on your mission and your Trials. That is the most important thing for you."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak again, but Qui-Gon cut him off. "I must go now. I have patients to attend to, and horses to find." He rose from the stool, obliterating his image, and losing sight of Obi-Wan's. He heard the voice, though, barely making it through as he ended the transmission.

"I love you, Nisha."

"As I love you," he whispered to the empty room. "My Tiercel."

* * *

Obi-Wan stared at the vacant space before him. Von had not exaggerated. Qui-Gon was suffering from some negative influence, but he couldn't be sure what that was. The only way to know was to see his love. He had decided what he must do before his master entered the cabin.

"Master Li," he began as soon as she walked in, "I must go to Grathos immediately."

"Is Qui-Gon ill?"

"I don't know exactly what the problem is, but something is seriously wrong."

"Why hasn't he contacted you about it?"

"I don't know." Obi-Wan frowned. "He is far too self- reliant. He's probably worried about taking me from my duties." He looked at Li, hoping for support, and was thankful to find it in her expression. "I need to go to him. He is my bondmate."

"You don't have to explain to me, Obi-Wan. I understand. Fortunately, I think we can detour to Grathos without much difficulty. I received details of our mission while you were speaking to Qui-Gon. We are assigned to investigate the criminal activities behind the corruption on Grathos, which has been tracked to Ythor. I don't believe the Council will object if we decide to do a bit of research on Grathos en route."

Obi-Wan rose and bowed before Li, his hands in his sleeves. "Thank you, my Master."

She ruffled his hair. "Plot the course, Padawan. I will notify the Council."

When the flight data was locked into the navicomputer, Obi-Wan transmitted a short comm to Von, thanking him for bringing his attention to Qui-Gon's condition, and letting him know that he was proceeding to Grathos with all possible haste.

Once again, there was nothing to do but wait. Obi-Wan fumbled in one of the pouches on his utility belt, pulling out a small bundle of cloth. He carefully unwrapped the fabric to reveal a bell, the beautiful falconer's bell that Qui-Gon had given him as he departed Grathos for the first time, shortly after they'd bonded. With a flick of his wrist, the sweet chime filled the cabin, and Obi-Wan's heart.

* * *

Chapter 7.

Qui-Gon gently placed the crotalid in its cage, where the snake circled the limits of its confines before curling around its mate. He sent a wave of reassurance and well-being to both animals, comforting them after the physical demands of venom extraction. Qui-Gon was grateful that the process had become easier with his enhanced Force capacity, enabling him to communicate with the snakes at a basic level and reduce the amount of stress the imposition caused.

It was an imposition, he knew. He examined the vial of newly extracted venom and sighed. So little there. He was milking the crotalids too frequently for them to build up a goodly supply between extractions, but he had no choice. His need for the serum had grown, and he could not reduce that need. He'd tried, and failed.

He had tried to go back to the intramuscular injection after the fraught-filled night when he had first experienced the rush of venom flowing into his vein. But when he'd injected the fluid into his leg muscle, the effect had been totally inadequate. The loss of the hypersensitive connection to the Force had been devastating, as though he had lost a limb. Besides, he told himself, if he were to find the horses, he would need the full benefit of the crotalids' gift.

As he did now.

He stored the sealed vial in his cabinet and turned reluctantly to the stairs. He barely noticed Loca loping along beside him on the walk from the stables to the main house. Qui-Gon was caught up in thought, concentrating on the evidence he'd discovered amid the files, media reports and Ranch records, trying to find a fault in his reasoning. But try as he might to dispute it, the body of evidence linked the disappearance of the animals with one person -- one person whose access to the animals, the records and the transport units would never be questioned. He simply couldn't bring himself to believe it. He squelched the anger rising in him, vowing he would not accept it until he heard an explanation from her own lips.

Qui-Gon pounded heavily on the back door of the house until the entryway was opened by an irritated Kerol Beryt.

"Qui-Gon, are you trying to break down my door?"

The master drew himself up to his full height. "I Need to speak to Mirrah Cait. It is quite urgent."

Kerol shrugged. "I'm sorry, but she's not here. Is there a problem?"

Damn it all, he didn't want to go chasing her all over the property. "Where is she? When will she be back?"

"Not for several days. She's gone to visit her family." Kerol's tone was increasingly terse. "What is the ...."

"Visit family! Where? Where is she?" Qui-Gon barked.

Kerol crossed his arms and glared. "I don't like your behavior, Master Jinn. Tell me what's wrong!"

He didn't have time for this. Qui-Gon bit back a curse and waved his hand deliberately in front of Kerol's face. "It is a private matter between the Mirrah and myself. Where has she gone?"

Sirrah Beryt blinked, his face suddenly blank. "To Juna, on Ythor."

Qui-Gon leaned forward. "What is the Mirrah's family name?"

"Donaugh," Kerol replied.

"What is her father's name?"

"Gaitlen Donaugh."

Qui-Gon began to tremble. That was why he'd recognized the name in the media snippet. The man shaking the hand of Kaeng Ixtha was Mirrah Cait's father.

Qui-Gon ran all the way back to the stables, rage building deep inside him. He would need a ship, but he could easily pilot one of the Ranch's small transports. Although it would be slow, it was better than requesting a pilot for a speedier craft. Qui-Gon didn't fly often, but he could do it in a pinch. He wouldn't need to take much -- only the commdisk with the evidence he needed to confront Cait. He would only need to make a few preparations.

He took the steps to his quarters two at a time, flinging open the door and heading directly for the cabinet. He pulled out the vials of serum, syringes and a tourniquet, tossed them on the table, and began rolling up his sleeve as he sat down.

One would have to look carefully to see the faint traces of needle tracks that spotted his muscled forearm. In the beginning, Qui-Gon had not been careful with such evidence, and Kee had spotted the tell-tale marks during a procedure. He had huffed at her not to distract him, and thereafter been conscientious about healing each injection site. There was no time for such niceties today.

He drew the cloudy liquid into the syringe, resisting the urgent temptation to increase the dosage. His supply was limited. He slipped the vial with the remaining venom into a pocket, and picked up the tourniquet. It had been designed for use on animals, but it fit his needs well. He slid it up his arm and pulled it tight.

The needle pricked only slightly. As always when the first drops of the venom entered his system, he experienced an intense, rabid craving, as though his body were panicked that the syringe might be withdrawn before delivering its full dose. He'd learned to ride it out, each time telling himself it was only a matter of a few seconds, and then he would feel the sweet flood of gratification flowing through his system. He removed the syringe, taking a deep breath, and then another. Oh, yes. He took a moment to savor the powerful connection. How had he ever lived before he knew the Force in this way? It was wonderful.

That was all the time he could spare. He pocketed the tourniquet and several syringes, then strode quickly into his bedroom to retrieve the commdisk. He pounded down the stairs, stopping in his office only long enough to leave a cryptic note for Kee before heading for the transport pad.

* * *

"Padawan, I know you're a good speeder pilot, but if you don't slow down, you're going to get us both killed. We won't be any good to Qui-Gon if we're dead." Li was forced to shout over the rush of wind.

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan cut back the throttle enough to make the decrease in speed noticeable -- barely. He'd maintained his patience during the two-day trip to Grathos, but since they'd landed, a sense of urgency had overtaken him. His stress was exacerbated by the fact that the Arien was too large a ship to land at the Beryt facility. They'd been forced to dock at a spaceport in the nearest city and hire a speeder.

A dust plume traced their route as Obi-Wan sped through the countryside toward the Ranch, taking curves at too great a speed for safety. His anxiety increased as they approached the Beryt landholdings. It was not that he detected any anguish through his bond with Qui-Gon. It was that he didn't feel the bond at all. From this distance, he should have sensed something, but there was simply a blank.

Li sat beside him, holding on to her hood to keep it from blowing back in the wind. He could sense her glancing at him every so often, but she did not speak any further. In fact, Obi-Wan thought she seemed uncomfortable. Perhaps meeting her Padawan's bondmate made even the imperturbable Li nervous, especially when the bondmate was in distress.

"This is it," Obi-Wan said as he finally slowed. A gray obelisk marked the turn, the name Beryt barely visible in the worn stone.

When they came over the prominent hill, Obi-Wan sighted the cluster of Ranch buildings in the valley below, but he found no comfort in their familiarity. There was a profound sense of wrongness about the entire place. Even the Force seemed to irritate his skin.

"He should be in the stables," Obi-Wan explained as he sped by the main house.

Li nodded. "I remember the layout from when I was here as a Padawan."

Obi-Wan jumped from the speeder before it came to a full stop at the open stable doors. He shouted for his bondmate, although in his heart he knew that Qui-Gon was not there. "Qui-Gon?"

A small voice answered from nearby. C'idra came trotting around a corner and braked to a full stop when he caught sight of the visitors. "Obi-Wan, is that you?"

"Yes, C'idra. Where is Master Qui-Gon?"

The boy stared. "You look different."

"Yes, I know. It's very important that I find Qui- Gon. Do you know where he is?"

C'idra squinted and tipped his head to the side. "You look like Master Von."

"C'idra! Pay attention! Where is Qui-Gon?"

The boy jumped back a step. "Kee told me he's gone off-planet for a couple of days."

"Where did he go?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I don't know."

"Was he delivering animals to someone?"

C'idra shook his head. "I don't think so."

Obi-Wan's frustration was building quickly. Talking to the boy was clearly a waste of time. "Where is Kee?"

"She's in the far pasture." C'idra wrinkled his nose. "One of the banthas is having a baby."

A light touch on his arm made Obi-Wan bite back the curse on his lips. Li had come up behind him, standing at his elbow. "Perhaps Von or the Beryts would know," she suggested.

Obi-Wan agreed. "I'll run to the mews and see if Von is there. Will you check with the Beryts?"

The sense of foreboding increased as Obi-Wan jogged to the falconer's home. He almost hoped that Von wasn't there, waiting to tell some terrible tale of his bondmate's fate, but the truth was not to be postponed. Von was in the yard exercising a longwing as Obi-Wan walked through the wooden gate.

Von turned as he heard the latch click, balancing the bird effortlessly on the gauntlet. Obi-Wan saw his eyes narrow momentarily, and then a gentle smile overtook him. Thoughts of Qui-Gon fled for a moment as Von received him warmly, closing the distance between them.

"You've done it." Von nodded approvingly. He reached up and traced his finger over Obi-Wan's cheek and forehead. "You've taken the Marks." He grasped the Jedi in a hug with his free arm, holding him close. He said softly, "Welcome, brother. Now you are truly a Keeper."

Obi-Wan returned the embrace with an intensity that surprised him, unexpected feelings rising within him. Pride. Warmth. A bond that he had felt with no group other than the Jedi. When they broke apart, he looked at Von with new eyes. They were united by their experience, in a way that few would understand. He told Von of his experience in taking the Marks of Accomplishment as they crossed the yard to place the longwing on a perch.

"I just came from Niota. Master Li composed the design, and two member of the High Council did the work themselves."

Von moved closer to scrutinize the dotted blue lines which traced over Obi-Wan's face, tattoos which interwove across his cheeks and around his eyes, leading up to his forehead. Obi-Wan could feel the other man's breath on his cheek.

"They did a fine job," Von pronounced as he stepped back. He stared into Obi-Wan's eyes. "I always knew you would look beautiful with the Marks."

Obi-Wan flushed, despite his previous arguments with Von over such comments. He wondered why Von's approval was so important to him.

It was Von who brought them back to the immediate concern. "You have come about Qui-Gon. I am sorry to say that he's left Grathos."

Obi-Wan winced. Force, how could he have been so easily distracted? He refocused on his bondmate. "C'idra told me he's gone off-planet. Do you know where he went?"

Von shook his head. "We are not sure, but he did talk to Sirrah Beryt shortly before he left. He told Kerol that he had something to discuss with the Mirrah Beryt, and became very agitated when he found out she was gone. Of course, everything seems to upset Qui- Gon these days."

"Tell me what's been happening."

A chill crept down Obi-Wan's spine as Von described Qui-Gon's increasingly obsessive behavior. It sounded as though the situation was even worse than he'd feared.

"What does Kee think? Does she know why he wanted to see Cait?" Obi-Wan asked.

"No, she does not know. She is worried that a problem Qui-Gon had some time ago has recurred. She was not specific about the nature of the problem, but perhaps you know what she meant."

Obi-Wan felt a twist in his gut. "I'm afraid I do. If it's what I think it is, Qui-Gon could be very ill, and there are few who could help him. He may need a Jedi healer."

Von shook his head in sympathy. "I wish I could be of greater help to you. I do know that Qui-Gon left a note for Kee. With what we heard from Sirrah Beryt, we think that he has gone to find the Mirrah. She is visiting her family on Ythor. Kerol sent a message to her to look out for him."

"Ythor? When did he leave?"

"Yesterday, probably in the afternoon. A small transport departed without proper clearance slightly past midday."

"Qui-Gon's piloting himself?" He must be in dire straits for him to take the helm. "We may have a chance of catching up to him if he's in a transport, but only if we leave now." Obi-Wan stepped forward and embraced Von quickly. "Thank you for letting me know about Qui-Gon's illness. I am in your debt."

Von brushed his fingers over Obi-Wan's cheek. "No, Obi-Wan. There are no debts between Keepers."

* * *

Chapter 8.

Qui-Gon strode down the main access tunnel of Juna's spaceport, emerging into a chaotic urban scene. He suspected the Kaengs would have secured space in this vicinity in order to facilitate their smuggling operations. Quick access to the spaceport would be essential. He opened himself to the Force and immediately felt a compulsion to head west.

He moved forward, breaking a path through the throng of strange creatures one normally found near a space hub. The polluted air insulted his nose. Force, how he hated cities. Not a leaf or blade of grass within eyesight. The local fauna probably consisted of rodents and roaches. How could these beings survive so far removed from the Living Force? He deeply resented having to make this trip.

Qui-Gon had walked only about a kilometer when he felt a grating wash of Force energy ripple over him, a negative energy, reeking of misery. It was a simple matter to pinpoint the source as a bleak warehouse faced with filthy windows. Something terrible was inside that building, and it called to him. Qui-Gon felt his simmering anger gain heat.

The locked door presented no challenge; with a wave Of his hand, Qui-Gon flung the alusteel door open. A concern for noise and stealth flickered through his mind, but it was quickly overcome by the compulsion to move on.

He stepped inside, and immediately fought back the urge to retch. He was forced to lean against the wall for a moment until his head stopped reeling. The noxious odor that engulfed him was all the more foul because he recognized it. He knew what he would find when he pushed far enough into the building, and it made the edges of his vision blur with a red tinge. It was another animal mill.

From what Qui-Gon could see, the first floor of the warehouse consisted of rows of suspended crates and boxes, neatly aligned and stamped with the appropriate codes and authorizations. The thrum of the suspension generators pulsed through the fetid air. Probably legitimate shipping at this level, in case honest authorities ever gained access to the building. Qui-Gon moved on, searching for stairs that would carry him to the upper floors. An imbalance in the Living Force originated from above, and he was driven to find it.

He moved up the cold metal stairway, a feeling of dread weighing down his every step, passing by the second floor to step out onto the third. There was barely enough light to make out what he knew was there. Stacks of crates, variously sized, but each one too small to humanely hold the animals within it.

Qui-Gon wandered down the dirty aisleway, fists clenched, scanning row after row of cages that almost reached the ceiling. This facility was significantly smaller than the setup he'd helped to dismantle on Grathos, but the animals were no less wretched. He was relieved that it was too dark to see more than vague forms behind the bars. At that moment, he didn't think he could bear to know the details.

How could this have happened again? He'd sworn almost a year ago that he would not allow it. He should have put an end to the bastards when they were back on Grathos. He scrubbed his hand over his forehead, reminding himself that he must focus on the here and now.

His options were few. He had to find the Mirrah Cait, whom he strongly suspected was in this same building, but as a healer, it was impossible for him to leave life forms in such distress. Perhaps he could make at least a slight difference in their suffering.

The master animal healer stood quietly, breathing deeply, focusing on the life around him. He pulled on the kernel of Living Force in each creature, amplifying it with his enhanced Force powers. Qui-Gon gave it time, breathing, waiting, allowing it to build, concentrating not on the misery, but on healing. When he felt as though he was overfull with the energy of the Force, he pushed it outward in a burst, creating a massive wave of therapeutic energy that rebounded from the walls, rippling over the animals repeatedly.

He fell to his knees, heart pounding, struggling to catch his breath. His body was so drained by the exertion, he could barely move. Qui-Gon listened outward with his Force sense, hoping to find that he had made a difference to the animals, and sighed with relief. He had helped. Although he had not healed them, he could sense that the animals' pain level had been ameliorated, and they had drawn comfort from the Living Force flowing around them. It was not enough, but it would have to suffice for the moment.

He sat for timeless minutes on the cold floor, regaining his strength, calling the Force back to him so that he could finish his task. His hand drifted to his pocket, fingering the vial within it. Qui-Gon was sorely tempted by the serum, his body urging him for the satiating needle, but he willed himself away from the idea. He was so close to finally catching the scum who did this, he had to move on. There was not enough time for another injection.

Finally, Qui-Gon stood and concentrated on the Mirrah Beryt, searching for her Force signature. She was here somewhere, he was almost sure of it. He closed his eyes and listened, tuning his sharpened sense for any stray sound. He nodded to himself. Yes, there were humans in the building. Two, perhaps three floors up.

Qui-Gon took the stairs two at a time, his boots clanging on the metal grated steps. Whoever was up there might not be responsible for the animal mill, but they certainly knew of its existence. Knew, but evidently didn't give a damn. He would change that. Qui-Gon's desire for vengeance was so strong, he could taste it in his mouth, sharp and metallic on his tongue. At last, he would have justice.

At the fifth floor, he clearly heard voices. He slipped quietly along the grating of the dark walkway. The sounds were coming from an enclosed space ahead, perhaps an office or storage room. He leaned against the wall and slid forward, listening to male voices that leaked through the closed door. Qui-Gon stopped to determine how many were in the room.

"Did you think we would not notice, you stupid k'shok'n?" There was no reply to the harsh, grating voice.

"You were sent specific instructions, but you thought you were smart enough to trick us. That mare you sent is inferior stock. We told you, we wanted Lizett."

"But, she just had a foal. You can't separate them." It was Mirrah Cait, pleading.

Lizett and her foal? By all the hells, were the stolen horses here? Were Parrish and Solaris downstairs somewhere, in that squalor? Qui-Gon felt himself sinking, being pulled under by a rip tide of fury. He put his hand on the door, prepared to force it open as he had done the door to the warehouse, but he hesitated at the last moment. He had to find out why Mirrah Cait had done this.

There was the sound of shuffling feet, and a new voice, thin and almost too high to be male. "We don't care about the foal! If you were so worried about the foal, you should have sent it, too."

"I couldn't, I...." Qui-Gon strained to make out the muffled noise. It sounded as though Cait were weeping.

"You will do as you're told. Your father made a deal with Kaeng Ixtha, and you're a part of it."

"But the walibats were supposed to be the end of it. I told them I wouldn't do it any more."

Qui-Gon's mind raced, pulling together the pieces. It was beginning to make sense. The Mirrah had been forced into this.

The raspy voice again. "We don't take orders from you. In fact, if you don't do as you're told, we'll take matters up with that fat little husband of yours. I bet he's quite a screamer."

"No! Not Kerol!"

Her plea was cut off by the sound of flesh hitting flesh. Cait cried out in pain.

Qui-Gon broke down the door.

* * *

Obi-Wan and Li jogged down the spaceport exit ramp, scanning the area as they emerged into a bustling mass of life forms. The only information they had to help them begin their search was what they had learned from Von and Kerol Beryt. Kerol had proven most helpful, providing Li with Qui-Gon's probable destination.

Standing amid the noisy confusion of Juna, Obi-Wan automatically turned to the bond he shared with his master. Together the two of them reached into the Force for a sense of direction. It was something they had done many times during their years together, and as often happened, it proved useful. "This way," Li said, and they moved forward.

Obi-Wan walked beside his master, pacing his stride to her shorter step, concentrating on subduing his apprehension. He knew his bondmate needed help, but he could not provide it if he didn't stay centered. 'Your focus determines your reality,' he reminded himself.

The Jedi had covered only a short distance when a burst of energy hit them, a Force explosion unlike any Obi-Wan had ever experienced. The intensity of it brought them both to an abrupt stop on the walkway, gasping from the impact. A large, hairy creature cursed at them for blocking his way, making what Obi- Wan assumed was an obscene gesture. They scuttled to the side, Obi-Wan holding his head as he tried to clear his senses of the shock.

How had such a concentration of the Force been generated? He looked at Li. "Have you ever felt anything like that before?"

Even she looked dazed. "Once or twice, but it is not normal."

"Could it have something to do with Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan was almost afraid to ask.

"Not unless he has Force powers beyond that of any Jedi I know. Perhaps Master Yoda could generate that sort of raw Force power, but few else." She pointed toward the source of the wave, and said, "Let's move ahead, but be on guard, Padawan."

"Yes, Master."

They walked on, Li in the lead now, with Obi-Wan at her elbow. She would not draw her lightsaber in such a high-traffic area, but Obi-Wan could see that she was ready to do so at the least provocation. He was similarly prepared.

A large, dark building called to them as the source of the inexplicable surge, and when they went through the door, the reason became obvious. A swirling mass of Force energy filled the shadowy interior, almost hypnotic in its mixture of Light and Dark. The conflicting elements made Obi-Wan's head spin. He fought against a spike of anxiety. Qui-Gon was here.

"I can feel him."

Li stopped and looked back at him sharply. "Qui-Gon? You're sure?"

"Yes, I can sense the bond, but it's not normal. It's... " He struggled for words to describe the feeling. He knew it was Qui-Gon, but the connection seemed unfamiliar, uncomfortable. "It's skewed. The bond has warped into something I can barely recognize."

Li nodded once, and glanced upwards. "We must head toward the source of this energy. Find the stairs. Quickly."

They moved toward the center of the energy mass, climbing the steps with Force-enhanced speed. Obi-Wan felt the Dark grow stronger as they came closer to the vertex, pressing in on him until he felt sickened by its weight. Sickened by the reverberations of his memory. He had felt something like this once before, many months ago, when he had confronted an enraged Qui-Gon back on Grathos. This was far more intense, but Obi-wan knew with terrible certainty, the source of the Darkness was his bondmate.

A woman cried out, terror edging her voice. The Jedi slipped silently along a catwalk toward an enclosure.

They stopped for an instant at the edge of the room from where the Dark energy emanated. Obi-Wan surveyed the twisted metal that had once been a door frame; the door had been snapped from its hinges. They drew their lightsabers, but did not activate them.

Obi-Wan tried to calm his pounding heart. He looked into his master's eyes, recognizing the calm intensity she exuded when confronting a dangerous situation. He fought to follow her example, trying to do as he'd been taught, but it was far more challenging than any previous situation he'd faced with her. Despite the fact that his bondmate was presumably in dire need, Obi-Wan could not fall into emotionalism. He would be expected to fight against the Dark -- to be a Jedi. He nodded at Li, and followed her into the room.

The first thing he saw in the brightly lit space was a woman tied to a chair. She was weeping. Her face was bruised and swollen, her nose bleeding. Obi-Wan looked at her only long enough to see her eyes widen in surprise.

To his left, facing the wall, was Qui-Gon. He stood with his hands raised, suspending two men before him, their feet dangling inches above the floor. Although Qui-Gon was not touching them, the men clutched at their throats, thrashing in desperation as their faces purpled from strangulation. Qui-Gon seemed unaware that anyone had entered the room. The Force energy he was generating was phenomenal.

"Qui-Gon, stop!" Obi-Wan yelled. "Put them down!"

Qui-Gon glanced at him, but disregarded the intrusion, refocusing with an eerie calm on the men whose lives he was draining away.

The woman in the chair called out between sobs. "He's not in his right mind, Obi-Wan. He's gone crazy."

She knew him? Obi-Wan spared a quick look in the woman's direction, and realized with a start that it was the Mirrah Beryt. His head spun. Why was she tied to a chair? Obi-Wan felt like he was trying to solve a puzzle with only half the pieces. He nodded an acknowledgement to Cait. Qui-Gon was most definitely not in his right mind, just as he had been so many months ago on Grathos.

Obi-Wan saw that Master Li had moved along the edges of the crowded room, maneuvering around piles of debris in order to position herself to Qui-Gon's right, out of his field of vision, but able to support any action her padawan took. Obi-Wan moved to his left, so that Qui-Gon could see him standing behind the two men. He still held his lightsaber loose in his grip.

"Nisha, look at me," he coaxed. "It's Obi-Wan. I can help you."

Qui-Gon looked fully at him this time, and his brow furrowed. "You're not my Tiercel," he spat out, and again turned away.

One of the two men ceased struggling and went limp, but Qui-Gon did not release him. The Dark energy churned through the room. Time was running out; the men would soon be beyond saving, and it was impossible to predict what Qui-Gon might do next with the extraordinary Force power he had summoned.

Obi-Wan steeled himself, and with a great strength of will, extended the blade of his lightsaber. He must fulfill his obligations. He was Jedi. He took up a fighting stance.

"Qui-Gon Jinn, you will drop them now!" he ordered, adding a Force-push to his words.

The Force compulsion had no visible effect except to momentarily distract Qui-Gon from his murderous intentions. He looked at Obi-Wan with defiance. "You cannot stop me. I have to kill them before they do it again."

Obi-Wan shifted his weight back and forth, desperately trying to think of another option. He could feel his master's sense of urgency. She had allowed him to take charge, but she was not going to wait much longer. He'd run out of alternatives. He stepped forward and swung, aiming for his lover's arm.

The blow never landed. With a painful twist, and a fierce surge of Force power, the lightsaber flew from his hand, clattering into the corner of the room. In the same instant, the two men thudded to the floor, unmoving. Mirrah Cait screamed.

Obi-Wan had seen his master start for Qui-Gon the instant the lightsaber left his hand, her own saber buzzing with power, but she stopped short when Qui-Gon released his captives. She knelt and quickly assessed their condition, still watching Qui-Gon. She nodded quickly to her padawan, conveying that the men were alive.

At least now, Obi-Wan had Qui-Gon's full attention. The enraged man advanced on Obi-Wan, his face twisted into a visage he hardly recognized. "How dare you interfere!" he said.

Obi-Wan looked around the crowded room, searching for something to use as a weapon. Li was approaching Qui- Gon quickly from behind. Obi-Wan glanced at her, mentally urging her to wait. The men were no longer in danger, so they again had time to maneuver. The glance was a mistake.

Qui-Gon eyes narrowed, and he swung around. With a flick of his hand, Li flew backwards across the room, landing flat against the wall with a dull thud. She stayed there, suspended against the wall, caught in mid-swing of an overhand saber strike.

Obi-Wan reacted instinctively. Li was in danger. He called his lightsaber to hand and pushed the activation button as it snapped into his palm. Nothing happened. He stared down at it, dumbly. The Force burst Qui-Gon had generated must have deactivated the crystal.

Qui-Gon was still focused on Li. "Why did you stop me?" he growled, raising his hand. "Don't you recognize justice when you see it?"

A gurgling sound came from Li. For an instant, Obi- Wan flashed back to that horrible moment on Althene when she had taken blaster fire in the chest because he could not deflect it. He would not allow her to be injured again.

Obi-Wan ran to a corner of the room and grabbed a long metal rod sticking out from a pile of rusty cages. It came loose on the second sharp tug. He quickly assessed its balance and weight, swinging it in a figure eight as he strode across the room. He held the staff with two hands, ready for assault, but he could not hit Qui-Gon in the back. Obi-Wan had to look into his lover's eyes.

"Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan shouted, and saw his bondmate turn. Brilliant blue eyes met his, but they were unfamiliar, manic. This was not his Nisha.

The rod met its target with a sharp snap of breaking bone. Qui-Gon cried out and grabbed his shoulder, but Li did not fall. With a second swing, Obi-Wan swept the bar behind Qui-Gon's knees, pulling it forward, bringing him to the floor with a crash. Qui-Gon rolled into a ball, alternately grabbing at his shoulder and his leg, howling in agony and frustration. Obi-Wan stepped forward, placed his hand on his bondmate's forehead, and channeled as much Force as he could bring to bear. "Sleep," he said, and Qui-Gon relaxed.

Obi-Wan looked up to see his master coming toward him. She was safe. He could feel the Dark energy beginning to dissipate. Obi-Wan slumped to the floor beside his lover, buried his face in his hands, and cried.

* * *

Chapter 9.

Fat spring raindrops bounced off the infirmary roof in a hypnotic rhythm. To Obi-Wan, it felt as though Grathos was nearly exploding with the energy of the season. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift, imagining himself riding up the hillsides above the Beryt Ranch with Qui-Gon. His bonded would patiently teach him the names of the dozens of wildflower species covering the forest floor as they followed the bridle trail to the west, ending up at the small meadow where male songbirds would be proclaiming their territories. They would let the horses wander while they sat, side by side, shoulders touching, basking in the warm sun, perhaps shedding their clothes to share soft touches and long kisses.

A sharp cry snapped Obi-Wan's focus back to the sterile room and the bed on which his bonded lay. Qui-Gon flailed violently at the air, fending off some imagined demon, terror in his eyes. Obi-Wan stood, leaning over his lover's pale form while murmuring softly, as if he were Qui-Gon himself, gentling a startled animal. "Ssh. You're safe, my love. There's nothing there. Relax. You're safe now." He held Qui-Gon's hand until the tense muscles of the sick man relaxed, and he fell again into a sleep that afforded no rest.

For the hundredth time, Obi-Wan untangled the sheets twisted around his bondmate's legs, smoothing them carefully before taking his seat in the small bedside chair. He looked down at his lover's gaunt face, aching at the site of the thin skin draped from his too prominent cheekbones. "Oh, my Nisha," he sighed. "What has happened to you? How can I help?"

A sliver of light crossed Qui-Gon's eyes as the door opened, making his face contort. They had kept the room as dark and quiet as possible after realizing even the slightest extra stimulation caused him discomfort.

Obi-Wan watched Kee cross the room on tiptoe and sit on the metal stool on the opposite side of the bed. "Is he any better?" she whispered.

"A bit." Obi-Wan brushed a strand of sweat-dampened hair from Qui-Gon's face. "The vomiting has stopped, but he's still thrashing, not even lucid. I don't think he recognizes me at all."

"What did the nurse say?"

"His shoulder is healing, but his body chemistry is out of balance, especially his liver enzymes. She can't pinpoint the source of the problem with the limited equipment they have here."

"When will the Jedi Healer arrive?" Kee asked.

"Tomorrow. My master contacted the nearest Temple before I left Ythor with Qui-Gon, and the healer left right away." Obi-Wan tried to hold Qui-Gon's hand, but he pulled it away, turning and twisting in the bed coverings.

"Have you heard from Master Li?" Kee asked.

"No, but I don't expect to until she has dealt with the situation on Ythor. It will take her a day or two, and then she'll come here."

Kee looked down at her hands, obviously thinking before asking her next question. Finally, she said, "May I ask you something personal?"

"Of course, Kee," he reassured her. "We're friends."

She leaned over the bed, searching Obi-Wan's face. "Has your bond with my master changed? I can hardly feel any connection to Master Qui-Gon at all. It feels so empty, as if part of me is gone." She looked at Qui-Gon's face. "Even though he's right here, I miss him. It must be terrible for you."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. Kee was a perceptive young woman. "Yes, it's very difficult. I sense some connection to him, but it's almost unrecognizable. It's as if our bond has frayed to one last strand, and that little piece is unfamiliar. I keep reaching out for him, but he doesn't reach back."

Kee frowned down at her master. "I wish there was something I could do. I feel so helpless."

Which was exactly what Obi-Wan had been feeling ever since they'd arrived on Grathos. He and Li had managed to maintain Qui-Gon in a state of unconsciousness until they could get him into a stasis field aboard the Arien, but it had been difficult. Qui-Gon's use of the Force to resist their efforts was incredibly strong. They'd been pummeled by waves of erratic Force power, which at times had taken their combined efforts to rebuff. Even now, when Qui-Gon's state floated closer to coherency, he channeled enough unfocused energy to make it difficult for any Force-sensitive to be in the same room with him.

Qui-Gon moaned and once again turned in the bed, muttering. Kee stood and leaned over him.

"Master? It's Kee. What can I do for you?"

Qui-Gon opened his eyes, and turned to face her. He frowned. It seemed a struggle for him to make sense of his surroundings. "Kee?" he whispered.

"Yes, Master. It's me." She sounded as though she might cry.

Qui-Gon struggled to sit up. When Obi-Wan tried to help, Qui-Gon shoved his hands away, focusing on Kee and speaking with a single-minded urgency. "Aanli. Comm Aanli. She knows."

Kee nodded her head. "I will, Master Qui-Gon. I will contact her."

Qui-Gon grasped her hand, and another blast of Force energy bounced around the room. Obi-Wan saw Kee wince.

"Promise me," he said. "Promise me you won't tell Obi-Wan."

Kee glanced at Obi-Wan, sympathy cast on her face. "Yes, Master," she whispered.

Satisfied, Qui-Gon relaxed, settling back on the disarrayed bed. His breathing became deep and regular, and he seemed to fall into a more normal sleep than Obi-Wan had seen him in since they'd arrived. Obi-Wan ran his hand over his lover's pale forehead until he was sure that Qui-Gon would remain calm.

He looked at Kee, then. "Who is Aanli?"

Kee was sitting again on the stool, rubbing her temples. "She's one of my master's best friends. She's another Master Animal Healer. They've known each other since they were apprentices."

"He's never mentioned her to me."

Kee shrugged. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, but you know how my Master is. There's a lot he doesn't talk about."

That was an understatement. "How do we contact her?" he asked.

"She's only in the next quadrant. I can set up a vid- comm for you right away. It won't be a problem."

Obi-Wan smiled at her. "Thank you, my friend."

She nodded, and then said, "I'm sorry, Obi, but I have to leave." She glanced at her Master. "I don't know how you stand it."

"It's hard for me, too, but it's harder to leave. Let me know when you get the comm link established?"

"Sure." She reached across the bed and squeezed Obi- Wan's hand. "We have to believe that he'll be all right."

Obi-Wan nodded. He shaded Qui-Gon's eyes with his hand as Kee slipped out the door.

* * *

Shadows lengthened across the wooden floor of Qui- Gon's quarters, but Obi-Wan did not consider rising to turn on the lights. He wanted the shadows to slip around him where he sat at the old, scarred dining table. He wanted to hide until he could make some sense of the sudden chaos his life had become.

He looked at the objects spread before him, not needing the light to recognize each familiar token. They were his small treasures, the items he always carried with him, tied in a leather pouch and tucked into his utility belt. They were there to remind him of who he was, and where he'd come from.

There was his baby ring, kept for him by his crèche mother to remind him that his birth family had loved him enough to bring him to the Temple for training, and to symbolize the circle of people who had loved him since. There was the scrap of paper he'd made on his first visit to Master Li's family home on Niota, when he'd begun to understand what it really meant to be a Keeper. A hawk fetish, a present from an ancient seer on a primitive world, whose gift now seemed to have foretold his life with Qui-Gon, of Nisha and his Tiercel.

There were other items, too, but in his hand was the most treasured of Obi-Wan possessions, although anyone would have scoffed at him if he had told them so. It was a small, smooth stone, taken from the shore of the glacial lake on the afternoon when he had first made love with Qui-Gon. It was a day that had changed his life, and he thought, had decided their future together. Now, the stone felt cold in his palm.

Obi-Wan had left the infirmary for his comm with Aanli. He'd spoken with her briefly, but it hadn't taken long to get the information he'd needed. He'd spent the remainder of the day reading Qui-Gon's leather-bound journal, which now sat just out of reach on the table. It had been Aanli's suggestion. He reflected on the conversation.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" she'd asked, after he introduced himself. She'd frowned, obviously trying to remember. "I know your name, but I can't place it. How do you know Kee?"

"Kee set up the connection for me. I'm Qui-Gon Jinn's bondmate." It felt odd saying the words to a stranger, especially when the bond had become so tenuous.

Her eyes flew open, and she smiled. "Oh! Qui told me about his bonding. It's good to meet you." Then, Obi- Wan's expression and the strange circumstances of the comm must have clicked in her brain. She was serious, suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"Qui-Gon is quite ill and we don't know the cause. He is in great distress, channeling unusual amounts of Force energy. He's incoherent most of the time, but he did mention your name, and said, 'She knows.' Do you have any idea what might be wrong?"

Even over the vidscreen, Obi-Wan could see Aanli turn pale. "Oh, no. Is it the snake serum?" she asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Aanli leaned closer and spoke quickly. "Several months ago, Qui contacted me to come to Grathos to help him with a problem. It turned out that he'd been suffering from Force deprivation. It was related to his bond with you, somehow."

Obi-Wan clenched his jaw. The Force be damned. He'd been afraid that something was wrong when Qui-Gon didn't answer his questions right away, and he'd been right.

"He wanted me to surgically implant a device containing your body tissue," she continued, "but the seal had broken on the stasis chamber, and the tissue was dead. We had to come up with another solution to his problem."

"Why didn't he contact me? I could have sent him another tissue culture."

Aanli threw up her hands. "I suggested it, Obi-Wan. He wouldn't even consider it. He was determined not to bother you."

Bother him! As if he would consider helping his bondmate to be a bother? The man's stubbornness had finally been his downfall.

"We had to find another way." Aanli hesitated before continuing. "I remembered reading an old account of a snake venom that enhanced Force abilities. I suggested he try it, and he was so desperate, he agreed."

Obi-Wan shook his head, as if he could jog the pieces of the story into a sequence that made sense. "I still don't understand, Master Redwind. What did Qui-Gon do?"

Aanli took a deep breath, steeling herself to continue. "He's been injecting himself with the venom of a rare snake species -- the indigo-keeled crotalid."

"What!" He could barely believe what he was hearing. "How could you have suggested such a thing?"

"I know it sounds outrageous, Obi-Wan, but it's been helping. It's restored his connection to the Force, and allowed him to do his job."

"Helping? It's driven him to madness, is what it's done!" Obi-Wan said. "It's driven him to death's door!"

Aanli quailed, but pushed on. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. We never thought that would happen. He was managing it quite well the last time I spoke to him. There must have been new side effects. Maybe he increased the dosage without telling me."

"When was the last time you contacted him?"

"Several weeks ago," she admitted. "But he was doing fine."

"So, he was taking an unknown, untested drug, with no one to monitor him?"

"Yes." Aanli examined her hands, as if she could find something to do with them that might be useful. She looked up again. "Check his journal. He kept careful notes on everything he did."

That was true. He'd seen Qui-Gon writing in his journal many times before, including when they had installed the implant in Obi-Wan's shoulder. There were probably notes there that the healers could use to devise a treatment for Qui-Gon.

"I'll come to Grathos right away," Aanli said. "There must be something I can do."

"No, please don't," Obi-Wan said, bitterness edging his words. "You've done quite enough already."

And that had been the end of their conversation. He had found the journal, with most of the tale written there in Qui-Gon's small, neat hand. Page after page of careful notes detailed what he'd done to his body. It was described in clinical terms, but the story was easy enough to decipher. There were explanations of the venom extraction and dilutions, the injections and their effects, the increasing dosage, the ecstasy of the intravenous injections. From there, the notes became increasingly irregular, the handwriting more difficult to read. There were hints of paranoia, of people out to get him, and finally, when he had plainly descended into addiction, the notes stopped altogether.

Together with the vial of serum they'd discovered in the pile of Qui-Gon's discarded clothing, the journal should help the Jedi Healer when she arrived in the morning. She would be able to do at least a preliminary analysis of the venom and determine how it was affecting Qui-Gon's physiology. She might then be able to ease what was left of his withdrawal and determine if there was permanent damage to his system.

Obi-Wan sighed, and carefully placed the smooth stone back on the table. How could Qui-Gon have turned to such extreme measures, when all he needed to do was ask for Obi-Wan's help? Sending a tissue culture would have been such an easy thing to do, but clearly Qui-Gon could not bring himself to make the request. Did he think Obi-Wan was not capable of balancing his life as a Jedi with his relationship to him? Did Qui-Gon feel he had to make Obi-Wan's decisions for him?

Obi-Wan reached out again to the place where the bond to his Nisha should be, but found only the strange resonance, like a painful memory of something that had once been beautiful, but had morphed into an alien creature. He gathered the items on the table and wrapped them into their soft cloth. He removed his utility belt as he walked into Qui-Gon's bedroom, tucking the pouch into its designated pocket. He removed his clothing and slid into the cold bed, where he lay staring at the ceiling, listening to Loca's soft snoring coming from the corner of the room.

* * *

Chapter 10.

Although it was just past dawn, the Jedi healer was already bustling around her patient when Obi-Wan arrived at the infirmary the next morning. While Qui- Gon lay adrift in a Force-induced slumber, she moved with crisp efficiency from one task to another. Obi- Wan waited for several moments, looking for a break in her activity, but finally gave up. "How is Qui-Gon?" he interrupted.

The healer spared him a brief glance. "His body is detoxifying from an undetermined chemical. I have begun an acceleration of that process. I have not determined the source of the Force energy he's emanating. Preliminary tests are inconclusive."

"This should help," Obi-Wan said, offering her the journal. He briefed the healer on its contents, thinking all the while how ridiculous the story sounded, even to him. Her eyes grew wide when he spoke of the Force-enhancing venom. Obi-Wan suspected she was thinking the same thing he had -- a true Force- enhancing drug could change the entire galaxy. The black market for the substance would be enormous.

"We must not speak of this until the High Council is informed, Padawan," she ordered.

Obi-wan nodded. "I sent them a report yesterday, but they'll want to know the results of your analysis as soon as possible."

"No need to tell me my duty, Padawan," she sniffed. She referred to her datapad for a moment, then asked, "How long have you known the patient?"

"His name is Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan answered pointedly. He thought for a moment. "Less than a year." Had it really been such a short time?

"I was told that you share a Force-bond with him?" she asked through pursed lips. She looked like she'd been sucking on sour ilnis fruit.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, reminding himself that this person was here to help Qui-Gon. "Yes, for most of that time, but the bond has been damaged by whatever's affecting him."

"Pity," she said, without conviction. "Have you personally observed his Force capacity?"

Obi-Wan nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Many times. Qui-Gon's use of the Force was highly advanced. He used it primarily for work, healing the animals.

"Yes, so I've been told. Most unconventional." She busily made entries on the datapad. "The problem is, this information contradicts the results of my tests. According to the data, his midichlorian county is extremely low. He should not even have an awareness of the Force, let alone be Force-adept."

"But, that's impossible." Obi-Wan thought for a minute. "Could the snake venom have destroyed his midichlorians?"

"I doubt it," she snapped. She moved toward the nearby counter, checking another datapad. "Rest assured, Padawan, I will find the answers we need. Now, you must leave. I am going to reduce his sedation, and I don't want you exposed to any further Force surges. They could be damaging to the untrained."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to retort, but decided it was a waste of energy. Instead, he moved to Qui-Gon's bedside, squeezed his hand, then headed for the door.

Obi-Wan considered his options as he stepped from the infirmary, blinking against the bright sunlight. The previous day's rain had left the air sparklingly clear and smelling fresh, painting the perfect scene for a long ride through the hills. He could have Storm saddled and ready to go in only a few minutes. The prospect was tremendously appealing, promising an opportunity to process all that had happened in the last few days and clear his head, but Obi-Wan knew there was something he had to do first. He had to visit Von and inform him of Qui-Gon's status. The mews master had left several messages inquiring as to both their conditions. It would be good to see the birds anyway, Obi-Wan decided as he walked the narrow trail through the woods. He would have to postpone his ride until later in the morning.

Stepping through the gate of the mews always seemed to Obi-Wan like taking a step back in time. The ancient ways of hawking thrived inside the wooden walls, making it easy to imagine life there virtually unchanged a century or more ago. It was no wonder a Niotan had taken up the gauntlet as Master of the Mews.

Obi-Wan crossed the open weathering area, where several hooded birds stood sunning on their perches. It was unusually quiet in the normally active little center. It took Obi-Wan several minutes to locate Von, who was in the workroom, examining a hooded longwing wrapped in a sleeve and hanging from a scale. His face brightened when he saw the Jedi.

"Obi-Wan! Qui-Gon must be doing better if you've left the sick room," he said.

"More like I was ordered out." Obi-Wan made a face. "The Jedi Healer has arrived, and she does not appreciate visitors in her domain."

"Beware the all-knowing healer, eh?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "That may be part of it, but I suspect she is not thrilled to be treating a lowly animal healer." He sat on the worn, dirty stool that always stood beside the workbench, while Von entered the daily vital statistics on the bird, then took it outside to sun in the yard.

"So, how is he?" Von asked as he stepped back in. He leaned with his hip against the table, standing close to Obi-Wan.

"He's getting better, slowly. The healer should be able to do more now that we know what's wrong."

Von looked surprised. "Oh, I did not know they had determined the problem. What is it?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. Here in the mews, away from the harsh reality of the infirmary, he didn't know if he was ready to talk about Qui-Gon's decline into addiction. The whole situation was so painful. "It's a long story, Von. I don't fully understand it yet."

Von leaned forward for a moment, his dark eyes squinting as he examined Obi-Wan's face. "Here is my diagnosis, Sirrah Jedi," he proclaimed as he straightened up. "You look as if you have been trampled by a bantha. You need some hearty food, a steaming cup of miko tea, and a good listener. Lucky for you, I can provide all three." He held out his hand, and pulled Obi-Wan up when he took it. "Come with me."

Obi-Wan sputtered a protest, seeing his vision of a morning ride evaporating, but Von would not relent. He ushered him into the corner of the cluttered living quarters and workshop, plied him with warm Niotan wacissa bread and hot tea, and sat beside him on the rickety bench with an expectant look on his face.

Despite his earlier misgivings, Obi-Wan felt a need to talk. With his master still on Ythor, he hadn't had anyone to share his thoughts with. Here, amid the comfortingly familiar trappings of Von's Keeper's workshop, with its earthy smell of leather scraps and wood shavings, he relaxed for the first time in days. He spun out the tale in painstaking detail, beginning with the irregular correspondence from Qui-Gon and ending with his appalling discovery of the previous day.

Obi-Wan found himself disclosing emotions and thoughts he had not previously been aware of. The depth of his feelings startled him. Anxiety, sadness, resentment, guilt. Such strong emotions were strange to him, and made him uneasy. By the time he came to the end of the story, Obi-Wan was exhausted.

Von was true to his word. He was a good listener, initially offering only sympathetic nods and exclamations, but moving closer to squeeze Obi-Wan's shoulder as the padawan's emotions rose to the surface. He spoke only when he was sure Obi-Wan was finished. "An incredible tale," he said softly. "It is no wonder he was behaving so strangely."

Obi-Wan nodded, shaken, unable to form a reply.

Von's hand rose to Obi-Wan's cheek, one finger tracing lightly over the lines of his Marks. The touch was kind, reassuring. "And how do you feel about this, my friend?"

Obi-Wan snorted. "Feel? Jedi are taught not to feel. We are supposed to give our emotions over to the Force."

Von frowned. "I can not imagine that such a philosophy is healthy. It must be very difficult for you."

Obi-Wan let his head drop back to the cushions and stared at the ceiling. "It's almost impossible." He paused, searching for the root of his feelings. "I keep wondering why he didn't contact me. Didn't he believe I could handle such a simple request? I feel like he doesn't think of me as an equal. If he can't trust me to make such simple decisions, how are we going to maintain a relationship once I am a Knight, traveling all over the galaxy?"

"Qui-Gon can be a stubborn man," Von said.

"Stubborn and proud! Now, that pride may have caused him permanent harm, and caused permanent damage to our bond." Obi-Wan's eyes welled up. He squeezed them shut. He would not cry. He had shed his tears on Ythor.

Von took Obi-Wan's hand in his and held it tightly. "You have every right to be angry -- and hurt. Qui- Gon is not the only victim of his foolishness."

"Anger leads to the Dark Side," Obi-Wan answered stiffly. "Anger should be funneled into the Force."

Von placed his finger under Obi-Wan chin, and turned his face toward him. "It may not be the Jedi way, but you are also Niotan, and we believe in letting our emotions show. Howl your anger to the winds, Obi-Wan. Let go, and then you can move past it."

Obi-Wan sat forward, grinding his fists into his eyes. He wished he could let go. He wanted to yell and scream, to let the ache in his heart and his soul take shape so that he could expel it in a powerful burst, but he couldn't. It was not his way. Instead, the questions pounded relentlessly in his skull. "How could he do this? He's killed our bond." He clenched his fists. He would not cry.

Von put an arm around his shoulders. The contact made Obi-Wan realize how alone he felt. He leaned into Von, feeling warm against his side. He understood suddenly that the simple comfort of another caring soul was what he really needed. He wrapped his arms around Von, returning the embrace, his head against Von's chest.

"Obi." Von held him tightly, rubbing his hand over Obi-Wan's back.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, relaxing and calming himself. It had been so long since he had been held. It was a relief to simply sit with someone who made no demands of him, someone who understood what he was going through.

He looked up at Von, and saw dark eyes searching his face. The room was so quiet, Obi-Wan could hear himself breathe. A long moment spun out between them, a moment of uncertainty and infinite possibilities. Then Von leaned closer.

Obi-Wan knew what was going to happen next. Von was going to kiss him. He could move away, move out of Von's arms to prevent it, but he didn't. He did not want to leave the comfort of the other man's arms. Von's lips met his, and after a heartbeat or two, Obi-Wan returned the kiss.

Oh, it was so different, feeling Von's smooth face against his own, so distinct from the touch of Qui- Gon's soft beard. Von smelled of fresh air and sunshine, tasted faintly of miko tea. Obi-Wan should stop, he knew he should, but kissing another man -- a man who was not Qui-Gon -- was strange and exotic, and he wanted to experience it for just a moment more. Then, Von's lips parted, and his tongue touched Obi- Wan's lips.

That touch made Obi-Wan jerk back, face flushed and breathing hard. What in all the Sith hells was he doing? "This can't happen," he said, shaking his head and backing away on the bench.

Von cocked his head, a frown creasing his brow. "Do not be upset, Obi-Wan. You were feeling so much pain. I was only offering comfort."

Obi-Wan stood, his heart racing, blood pounding in his ears. "It's not your fault." He glanced at the door. "I should go now. I need to check on Qui-Gon."

"Obi-Wan, please do not run away," Von said, reaching for Obi-Wan's hand, but the Jedi was already halfway across the room.

"Thank you for the tea," Obi-Wan called over his shoulder as he charged through the doorway. He trotted across the yard in case Von came after him, not wanting to talk about what had just happened. Only when he was safely through the gate with the door of the mews closed tightly behind him did he stop, leaning back against the rough wood.

Force, what was happening? Wasn't he committed to Qui-Gon, promised as his lifemate? And yet he had kissed another man. Willingly. Obi-Wan ran his finger over his bottom lip. Yes, he had done so willingly, and he had enjoyed it. Was he going crazy?

He clenched his fists, pounding them back against the wall. He hated this feeling. He hated the confusion, the emptiness, the uncertainty. He'd thought he had finally figured out what he wanted from life, and now it was all thrown askew -- because of Qui-Gon's damned stubbornness. "Why did you do this to us?" he cried.

It was time for answers. He stepped decisively away from the mews, determined to talk to Qui-Gon if it was at all possible, even for a few moments. He felt for the bond once again as he walked, his steps faltering when he thought he detected a slight change. Had the connection strengthened a bit, or was it wishful thinking?

There was a brush against his mind, then, but not the one he was looking for. Still, it warmed him like a soothing balm. It was his master, reaching out with a polite expression of concern. Li must have arrived. Obi-Wan sped his steps toward the infirmary, needing to be in her presence.

* * *

Like the birds in the mews, Li was sunning herself on a bench in the infirmary garden, face tipped toward the incoming solar rays. She opened her eyes and smiled as Obi-Wan came to a stop before her. He bowed, saying "Good morning, Master."

She inclined her head in reply, and patted the seat next to her. "Sit with me, Obi-Wan, and enjoy the beauty of the renewing Force."

Obi-Wan gestured toward the building. "I need to check on Qui-Gon first, Master, with your permission."

She shook her head. "He's sleeping, and the dictator ruling the infirmary won't let you in until he wakes up." She rolled her eyes. "Remind me never to fall ill in this sector, my Padawan. I wouldn't want to rely on her care."

Obi-Wan smiled in spite of himself, and smoothed his robes as he sat beside his master. Here was the solid assurance he needed.

"It was wise of the Beryt family to plant a garden so near the infirmary," she continued. "Patients will recover more quickly, sitting amid the beauty of nature."

Obi-Wan hadn't really considered the juxtaposition of the garden and the healing center, and it certainly wasn't high on his list of concerns at the moment. He struggled to sit still, feeling like a taught spring next to his Master's calm repose.

"How is the situation on Ythor?" he asked.

"An investigation has begun into the smuggling operations and the illegal trade of animals. A Jedi monitoring team is supervising."

"How is Mirrah Cait?"

"Physically, she is fine, but she is still very upset. She can not return to Grathos until her role is made clear. At least Kerol is with her now. He was kind enough to have his pilot bring me here while they await the proceedings."

Obi-Wan nodded. It all seemed so long ago that he had confronted Qui-Gon in the warehouse. It was hard to believe it had only been a few days.

Li laid her hand on top of Obi-Wan's. "Kee met the transport when we landed. She told me about Qui-Gon. It's no wonder he was behaving so irrationally when we found him. It's amazing he was functioning at all."

She paused, and turned to face Obi-Wan. "How are you, my Li-tzu?" she asked.

How could he express his whirling emotions? "Master, I'm ... struggling."

"What you are, Obi-Wan, is overcome by your feelings." She shook her head. "I have argued many times with Yoda about this. It is a mistake not to let our padawans deal with the full impact of their emotions. It leaves them unprepared when the inevitable conflicts arise."

Now that she'd opened the subject, Obi-Wan plunged in. "Master, I admit it. I'm confused. It's terrible to see Qui-Gon lying in that bed, fragile and sick, but at the same time, I am so angry at him. It would have been so simple to ask for my help, but he turned himself into a drug addict instead! I don't understand it."

Li's expression changed as he spoke, moving from a look of concern, to a frown, and finally to a scowl. "Padawan Kenobi, I don't know how you have managed to become a successful Keeper if your memory is truly so short."

This was not the response he expected. "Master?"

She glared at him. "Think back to a few months ago. How did you feel when you lost your connection to the Force?"

He didn't need to think. The memory still evoked a tight fear in his chest that the awful symptoms might recur. "It was devastating," he answered. "I felt as though I might not be able to go on."

Li raised an eyebrow, nodding. "As I recall, you even considered leaving the Order."

"Yes, Master," he replied slowly. He was beginning to see where the conversation was leading.

"Is it so surprising to you that Qui-Gon would go to extremes to overcome his deficiency?"

"But this is different. I would never have resorted to a drug -- let alone snake venom."

Li threw up her hands. "Obi-Wan, he's an animal healer! It is his way to find an answer in the living creatures around him, as you found a treatment based on technology."

Obi-Wan considered this. Perhaps it was true, but Qui-Gon had gone beyond a basic need. He'd kept reaching for more, until he'd deteriorated into an addict and nearly killed himself. "But, he increased the dosage time and again," he argued. "There must have been a point when he realized he was addicted, but he didn't stop."

She touched her finger to his shoulder, where Qui-Gon had implanted the device which restored Obi-Wan's connection to the Force. "Tell me, Padawan, how did you feel when you first experienced the effects of Qui-Gon's implant?"

"It was a tremendous relief. It was as though I could breathe again." In truth, he'd felt as though his life had been restored.

Li narrowed her dark eyes, fixing him with a pointed stare. "And didn't you tell me your connection to the Force was actually enhanced at first?"

Memory and realization hit at the same moment, and Obi-Wan flushed, a chink forming in his righteous anger. "Yes, Master," he answered quietly.

"How did you feel when you returned to Coruscant, and your Force-abilities returned to normal?"

"I was disappointed."

"If you could have retained that little extra level of Force-connection, would you have done so?"

"I don't know, Master."

"Be honest with yourself, Padawan. Wouldn't it have been helpful to maintain that extra edge? Perhaps it would have enhanced your ability to do your duty."

It took only a second to know that she was right. "Yes," he admitted.

"Is it truly so hard to understand why Qui-Gon made the choices he did?"

Obi-Wan scrubbed his hand across his forehead. It was all too confusing. Maybe he could understand a little of what Qui-Gon experienced when he took the snake venom, but not his reasoning for taking it in the first place.

He looked at his master. "Yes," he said, "if I push my experience to the extreme, I suppose I can under- stand a bit of what he went through, but that doesn't explain why he didn't contact me when this all began. Why didn't he simply ask for a tissue sample to prepare a new implant?"

Li shook her head. "Qui-Gon is the only one who can tell you that."

She looked at him closely. "Padawan, you talk about being angry and hurt and sad, but can you tell me what is at the root of all these emotions? You won't be able to sort out your feelings until you understand their cause."

Obi-Wan sighed, closing his eyes. It was a good question. He did feel hurt, and angry, but why? He probed his thoughts, considering and rejecting various options, until the true answer revealed itself. It was because an essential part of himself had almost disappeared. The bond. The proof of the love he shared with Qui-Gon had deteriorated into something tenuous, instead of the warm, comforting presence it had been.

"I'm afraid that his stubbornness has permanently damaged our bond," he said to Li.

Li's expression changed again, returning to one of sympathy. "Padawan, I told you a long time ago that within the Force, love is a tangible energy. It is that energy which forges the bond between two people. If your love survives, so will the bond."

Obi-Wan nodded. Did he still love Qui-Gon? He was frightened to realize he didn't know the answer.

A high-pitched voice sounded from behind the two Jedi, startling them both. "Excuse me," said the healer. "The patient is awake if you would like to see him."

* * *

Chapter 11.

Obi-Wan walked down the hallway of the infirmary, his heart pounding almost as loudly as his boots echoed on the marble floor. His stomach was tied in knots. Why? He was afraid to see Qui-Gon! Such an idea was almost inconceivable, yet there it was. What would he say? How was he to greet his professed bondmate, when he didn't really know what he felt, or thought?

Still, his feet carried him inexorably toward the sick room. He arrived at the door, took a deep breath, and touched the access pad.

The room was brightly lit now, with the windows open to allow the springtime scents to permeate the air. Despite the healer's words, Qui-Gon was dozing, propped up against a pile of pillows. He looked better than when Obi-Wan had seen him earlier in the day. Despite her attitude, Obi-Wan reluctantly admitted, the healer must have extended her best efforts. Qui-Gon had some color in his cheeks, and his freshly-washed hair had regained some of its luster.

Once again Obi-Wan took the seat next to Qui-Gon's bed, too unsure of himself to wake his bonded. He sat very still, trying not to think about what he would or would not say when Qui-Gon awoke. He had to believe that his heart -- and the Force -- would guide him. He didn't have long to wait.

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and turned toward Obi-Wan, a slight furrow in his brow as he tried to blink away his disorientation. "Tiercel?" he whispered.

How could anyone's eyes be so incredibly blue? It simply should not be possible. Obi-Wan swallowed hard, and took Qui-Gon's hand in his. "Hello, Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon's expression underwent a rapid change, from confusion, to recognition, to absolute joy. It was as if a light radiated from the shocked, open face. "Tiercel! You're here! You are really and truly here!" He tugged on Obi-Wan's hand, urging him up until he could grab him in a fierce embrace. "I saw you here beside me, but I thought I was imagining it. Oh, thank the Force you're really here."

Nothing could have prepared Obi-Wan for this. Qui-Gon held him as though he were afraid he would dissipate if he let go. Although stiff at first with uncertainty, Obi-Wan's resentment began to melt in the face of the absolute love and relief that flooded over him. He softened gradually, relaxing into his bondmate's arms.

"Tiercel," Qui-Gon murmured, brushing his hand over his hair, squeezing the back of his neck. "I can't believe you're really here."

They held each other for many moments, each accepting the presence of the other, until Qui-Gon pushed Obi- Wan up so that they could look into each other's eyes. He brushed his fingers over Obi-Wan's face, trailing them from his cheeks up to his forehead.

"You've done it," he said. "You've taken the Marks."

Obi-Wan nodded, "A few weeks ago. It was time."

Qui-Gon smiled. "They look wonderful. You're even more handsome now."

His expression changed, then, sadness creeping over his face. "Obi-Wan," he said, "I have been a fool."

So, at least he knew it. "Yes, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan nodded. "You have."

Qui-Gon squeezed his eyes closed. "And I have damaged the thing that is most precious to me -- our bond."

Obi-Wan searched for words, but found none. He realized he was trembling. He reached mentally for the remnants of their connection, instinctively seeking the deeper communication they had once shared. To his relief, Qui-Gon responded, and the link between them pulsed faintly. Although still weak, it felt more normal than it had since Obi-Wan had discovered Qui- Gon in the warehouse. The strange taint was fading.

"It will get better, won't it, my Tiercel?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice choked with emotion. "The healer said it should improve little by little ... but she said she couldn't tell if it would ever be the same." Although Obi-Wan was still aching with his own pain, it was heart-rending to see Qui-Gon so vulnerable and upset.

"Has the healer determined what happened? Do you know what made your Force powers so strong?"

Qui-Gon nodded, taking a deep breath. He was obviously tiring quickly. "The serum mutated my midichlorians. The venom made them change in ways that enhanced my Force sensitivity, but made them unrecognizable to yours. They would not even register on a standard midichlorian test. She said they are slowly reverting to normal now that I've stopped taking the venom."

The strain on Qui-Gon took its toll. A tear slid down his cheek. "I have been such a fool, my love," he repeated. "Can you forgive me?"

He wanted to, really he did, but a core of pain still sat heavy in Obi-Wan's heart, surrounded by lingering doubt. He was not ready yet for forgiveness. He needed answers first. "Why did you do it, Qui-Gon? Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"I did not want to bother you, Tiercel. You are so close to finishing your apprenticeship, and you already had to ask your master for permission to come to Grathos when you lost your Force abilities. I didn't want her to think our bond was going to interfere with you being a Jedi knight. Please understand, Obi-Wan, I did it for you."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Qui-Gon. You can't make decisions like that for me. If we are going to be lifemates, we have to make decisions together. If you thought your actions were helping me, you were sorely misguided."

Exhaustion finally overtook Qui-Gon. "I'm sorry," was all he could say in reply.

"We'll talk later. Right now, you need to rest," Obi- Wan said.

Obi-Wan felt the soft tingle in his mind that he recognized as Qui-Gon reaching through the bond. He reached back, needing the connection as badly as Qui- Gon did.

As his eyes slid closed, Qui-Gon whispered, "Tell me that you love me, my Tiercel."

Obi-Wan felt a welling up in his chest. He knew now that there was no doubt about the answer.

"I love you, Nisha."

Qui-Gon sank into the pillows as his body succumbed to the need for the healing powers of sleep. Obi-Wan reached up and stroked his forehead, pushing a strand of hair from his face. He looked so defenseless, lying against the pale bedding. Qui-Gon didn't belong here, Obi-Wan thought as he crossed his arms on the side of the bed and used them to pillow his head. Qui-Gon should be in the stables, surrounded by his animals, busy with their care. With that image in his mind, Obi-Wan drifted into sleep. The bond between the two men thrummed while they slept, strengthening infinitesimally with each breath.

* * *

Chapter 12.

What was that infernal tapping? Qui-Gon tried to sink back into sleep, wanting to stay a moment longer in his sweet dream where he was riding through a meadow of tall grass with his love, but it was no use. The irritating noise continued. Probably that wretched healer, after more blood for her never-ending tests.

He convinced himself to open his eyes, motivated solely by the prospect of seeing Obi-Wan. He blinked heavily, focusing to his left, and was relieved to see that Obi-Wan was still there. The younger man was looking at the doorway, yawning and rubbing the stiffness from the back of his neck.

The woman hovering in the doorway was evidently the source of the annoying noise. Obi-Wan addressed her with a voice still scratchy from sleep. "Come in, Master."

So, this was Master Li. She entered the room, stepping without hesitation to the foot of the bed. Obi-Wan had not been exaggerating about her size, but her manner promised to once again prove Master Yoda's favorite idiom.

She bowed before she spoke. "Good day, Master Jinn. You are looking much better than the last time I saw you."

Qui-Gon tipped his head in reply, feeling grossly improper to be meeting his bondmate's master while lying in bed. "Forgive me for not greeting you properly, Master Li, but I don't trust my legs to hold me up at the moment."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Your recovery is what's important. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been trodden on by a herd of eopies," Qui- Gon replied truthfully, "but that is better than this morning, when I thought a bantha must be sitting on my chest."

She smiled at him, and for a second, he could sense the good humor she had instilled in her padawan.

"What is the verdict of the healer?" she asked.

"She says I will probably recover, as long as I don't take the snake venom again." Qui-Gon shook his head ruefully. "There is no danger of that."

Li nodded in reply, but Qui-Gon could feel her testing the veracity of his statement. It was subtle, but the Force-inquiry was there, probing his mind. He didn't blame her, of course; she was only looking out for her padawan, trying to decide if his professed bondmate was trustworthy, or the maniac she had seen days before. Of course, if it weren't for her and Obi-Wan, he would still be mad from the effects of the venom.

"Thank you," he said, glancing at Obi-Wan, "thank you both for saving me on Ythor. I am afraid I had lost control of my senses."

Li bowed to him slightly. "You are most welcome, but we were only performing our duty."

Qui-Gon entered cautiously into the realm of memory, fearful of what he might find there. "I'm afraid I don't remember much of what happened." He hesitated, but he had to know. "The two men in the warehouse ... did they survive?"

"Yes, thanks to Obi-Wan. He disarmed you at the crucial moment. They are now in custody."

That was a relief. Even though the men were obviously involved in hideous dealings, he could not bear to know he had been responsible for their deaths. "Were Parrish and Solaris found?"

Li looked confused until Obi-Wan supplied more information. "The horses that disappeared from the Ranch. The ones Qui-Gon was looking for."

"Oh, yes," she answered. "They were found behind the warehouse on a tiny plot of garden. They were thin, but unharmed. They should be back on Grathos soon."

Such cretins, subjecting the Beryt's finest horses to such foul treatment. At least they had been recovered, and would soon be back in their rightful place. He made a mental note to tell Kee that he would want to examine them immediately when they arrived. He didn't trust any one else's assessment of their condition.

"What happened to the rest of the animals?" he asked.

"Most of them survived. It was necessary to release some of them into the Force."

Qui-Gon shook his head, scowling. Such a waste of life. Such an insult to the Living Force. The animals had lost their lives because of some sadistic, profit-motivated bastard.

Qui-Gon caught Obi-Wan's sharp look of concern, and realized how close to the surface his anger was. This had to stop. He had to learn to control his resentment. He took a deep breath, and went on.

"How is Mirrah Cait?"

"She is in custody, but Kerol is with her," Li replied. "She is telling the investigators what she knows of the trade in stolen animals. She is physically well, but she has evidently been subjected to psychological manipulation for many years. "

"She was forced into her part," Qui-Gon said. "Kerol told me they had an arranged marriage. I think that her father had his plans made years ago, and set her up so that he could eventually acquire the ranch and the breeding stock."

Li nodded in agreement. "No one ever guessed that she would fall in love with Kerol and the life on the Ranch. She tried to do just enough to keep her father and his henchmen away -- feeding information and sending a few animals to keep them satisfied. Then they started to push harder, and she resisted. They countered by threatening to harm her husband."

"And take the Ranch away," Qui-Gon added. "The local licensing board's threat to refuse the breeding operations permit was orchestrated by the Donaughs. It was meant to threaten her. She couldn't see a way out."

Qui-Gon turned toward Obi-Wan, and took his hand. "And then Obi-Wan arrived. She saw him as a chance to get the Jedi Council involved, and bring an outside force to bear on her criminal family. She encouraged Kerol to push for Jedi involvement."

"She was walking a fine line for quite some time," Li said. "She is going to need a lot of support to come to grips with her complicity. Fortunately, Kerol is standing beside her."

Li's last words hung in the air, the significance not lost on Qui-Gon. Would Obi-Wan stand by him, after his atrocious behavior? Did he have the right to expect it? He reached mentally for the bond, relieved to feel the strand between them, faint but true. Obi-Wan smiled at him and nodded. He understood.

The Jedi master glanced back and forth between the two men. "I should be going. I don't want to overstay my welcome," she said. "I hope your recovery is swift, Master Jinn."

Qui-Gon thanked her as she left. The door closed behind her.

Once again, they were alone, unsaid words hanging in the air. Too many questions without clear answers. How could he explain what he had done -- express his thoughts and fears in a way that his love would fully understand? Qui-Gon wished for once that he were an eloquent man instead of a rough animal healer.

He didn't have the words, but perhaps touch would do. He pulled on Obi-Wan's hand, saying, "Sit beside me, my Tiercel."

Obi-Wan sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, moving as though he were afraid Qui-Gon might fall to pieces at any moment. The evening shadows gathering in the rroomsoftened the intricate blue lines on Obi-Wan's face. Qui-Gon thought the Marks accentuated his wonderful cheekbones, and highlighted his expressive eyes. He was beautiful.

He pulled Obi-Wan toward him, scooting over in the bed so that they could lie together, with Obi-Wan's head tucked against his shoulder. Qui-Gon breathed deeply. Oh, this felt wonderful. The physical connection eased an undefined ache, sending relief through his worn limbs. He needed this touch. He knew, though, that Obi-Wan needed words.

"Tiercel," he began slowly. "I wish I could explain why I didn't contact you when my Force problems became so severe, but I don't know if I can. I think I am beginning to understand why you are angry, though. I shouldn't make decisions for you." He picked up Obi-Wan's braid, toying with it as he continued. "I can only tell you that I have been alone for a long time. It will take me a while to learn to be your partner, but I can promise you that I will try with every ounce of my being. I know I will still make mistakes, but you can chastise me if I start acting like a fool again."

Obi-Wan flushed and looked away. "We all make mistakes," he said quietly. "We all have our weak moments."

Qui-Gon frowned, not understanding Obi-Wan's sudden tension, but decided to let it pass. He touched Obi- Wan's chin lightly, turning his face toward him so that he might see his eyes. "Our love is no mistake," he said. "I love you, Tiercel."

Obi-Wan's muscles softened, and he relaxed against him. "Nisha, nameho'tatse," he said. "Beautiful man, I love you."

Qui-Gon leaned down to meet Obi-Wan's lips, the touch soft and careful, but reassuring. It would take time, but Qui-Gon was sure now that they would endure his great lapse of judgment. The bond would survive.

* * *

Chapter 13.

An iridescent flitterbird darted through the air, so quick that it was hard for Qui-Gon to follow its movements as it sampled nectar from the myriad of flowers in the high meadow. He nudged Obi-Wan with his elbow, silently pointing out the small creature. They watched as a second bird swept in, chattering belligerently at what must have been an intruder on previously claimed territory.

It was grand to be out in the sunshine. After a week of rest and the somewhat torturous ministrations of the healer, Qui-Gon was pronounced fit to undergo the surgical implant of a device containing Obi-Wan's cells. It was the same type of implant that Obi-Wan carried in the muscles of his shoulder, enabling him to maintain his Force abilities when separated from his bondmate. A generous supply of bacta ensured a quick recovery from the simple procedure, and Qui-Gon was at long last allowed to return to his own quarters. His first request, after a good night's sleep, was to ride into the hills.

It had been a slow, careful climb to the field high above the Ranch, but each step had reinvigorated his spirit, especially with Obi-Wan and Storm following close behind. Now, sitting on an old blanket at the wooded edge of the meadow, he felt the Force flowing through him, restoring his mind and body. He and Obi- Wan sat quietly basking in each other's company, while the horses searched out the sweetest green shoots, and Loca chased the chittering lizects. If only Obi-Wan and Li weren't leaving the next day, life would be almost perfect.

"Master Li told me some good news this morning," Obi- Wan said, breaking the silence.

Qui-Gon turned toward him, watching the play of light on his lover's hair. "What is it?"

"She's heard from the Council. They were impressed by the report she submitted describing the events on Ythor. It seems they were quite pleased that I caused you bodily injury." Obi-Wan's dry humor permeated their bond.

"I'm so glad I could tickle their fancy."

Obi-Wan snorted. "Actually, their greatest concern for my passage to Jedi Knight was the potential conflict caused by our bond. They were afraid that I wouldn't be able to put my duty to the Order before my commitment to you. I guess breaking your shoulder convinced them that I have my priorities appropriately aligned." He spoke the last two words with a vaunted tone, mimicking some anonymous Councilor.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Don't other Jedi bond with people outside the Order?"

Obi-Wan shrugged, examining a blade of grass. "It happens, but not often. We don't interact much with Force-sensitives who aren't also Jedi." He grinned his perfect grin. "You're an anomaly."

That was not news. "So, the Council doesn't know what to think of me."

"Exactly. The important thing is that Li thinks they will consider the events of last week as the personal phase of my Trials. I'll only have to take the academic and skills Trials when I return, and that won't take long."

Qui-Gon's heartbeat sped as he listened, Obi-Wan's words fanning a small flame of hope. "Do you mean that you will be finished? Do you think you will be back soon?"

Obi-Wan leaned against Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Yes, Nisha. I think my remaining days as a padawan are numbered. If I pass, that is."

"Of course you will, Tiercel. You will make a fine Jedi Knight."

Qui-Gon felt a wave of concern pass through the bond. The connection between them had steadily grown over the past week, but they were still not capable of telepathy. With much regret, they had come to accept the possibility that they may never be able to rebuild that degree of intimacy. Nevertheless, it was easy enough for Qui-Gon to feel the hesitation and worry in his bondmate.

"What is it, Obi-Wan? If I'm going to work on communicating better, you must do the same."

"True enough," Obi-Wan agreed, but still hesitated. "I may pass my Trials and come back to Grathos to live, but that doesn't mean I'll always be here. I'll be sent on missions for the Order." He looked searchingly into Qui-Gon's face. "What will happen when I am away?" Are you strong enough to go on without me?"

It was a valid concern. Qui-Gon had spent many hours in contemplation, examining the motivations for his actions during his "black time." He was still not completely recovered, and they both knew it. There were moments every day when he ached for the power of the Force that he had experienced while taking the snake serum. Fortunately, the temptation had been removed. The crotalids were now under study in the Coruscant Temple.

Qui-Gon put his arm around Obi-Wan, determined to face his problem. "Tiercel, we both know I have a weakness inside me. I have an anger that is difficult to control, and an intolerance for injustice that drives me toward the Dark Side. I can't say that I will never relapse, but now I recognize I have this fault, and that I must ask for help when it rises inside me. If it happens while you're gone, Kee and Aanli can help me. Aanli offers to help in every comm she sends." He saw the doubt in Obi-Wan's eyes, but also felt his support. He knew he would make it if Obi-Wan would be there for him. "There is a flaw inside me, my love. Will you help me mend it?"

"Of course I will," Obi-Wan replied, slipping his hand into Qui-Gon's.

How had he been so lucky? Why had the Force blessed a cranky old animal healer with such a forgiving and loving lifemate? He would never know the answer, but he would always be supremely grateful that it was so. He drew Obi-Wan tightly to him, offering a light kiss, which Obi-Wan returned.

Qui-Gon stroked Obi-Wan's back, wanting more, but feeling unsure of himself. They had not expressed their love physically since his recovery, and he wondered if he had the right to ask for intimacy after the pain he'd caused Obi-Wan. Perhaps it was too soon. Perhaps he didn't deserve it.

Obi-Wan drew back and reached up to stroke his hair, and Qui-Gon felt a light probe to his mind. "Will you ever stop doubting that I truly love you?" his bondmate asked.

Qui-Gon fondled his braid, unable to look his lover in the eye. "Sometimes, I can't imagine that I am worth the gift of your love."

"Oh, Nisha," Obi-Wan said, "you are a stubborn fool. That is something else we will have to work on." His hand drifted down Qui-Gon's chest, fingers tucking lightly under the edge of his tunics. His gaze was full of tenderness. "Make love to me, Qui-Gon Jinn," he whispered, and kissed him with an intensity that promised passion.

They were gentle with each other, undressing slowly, allowing their ardor to build without hurry. Qui-Gon felt as if they were rediscovering each other, testing anew the sensitive areas, searching for subtle changes. Yes, Obi-Wan was still delightfully susceptible to kisses behind the knees, and just as anxious to feel Qui-Gon's hands on his bare skin. Why Obi-Wan wanted to be caressed by such big, callused hands would forever be a mystery to him. He still found Obi-Wan's lips wondrously sensual. Their kisses were enough to make him dizzy with lust.

There were changes, though. Obi-Wan was more patient, allowing Qui-Gon to dwell on the most erogenous spots, evoking wonderful sighs and moans that were now more languorous than frantic. Qui-Gon himself was surprised to discover the intensity of his pleasure when Obi-Wan rolled his tongue around the tip of his finger, teasing, giving him a sly look just before taking the whole finger into his mouth and sucking hard; Qui-Gon's phallus jumped in empathy.

Through it all, the bond sang between them, pulsing, growing stronger with their act of recommitment. When Obi-Wan lay on his back and offered himself to his bondmate, Qui-Gon marveled at the trust and forgiveness he'd been given. They had suffered through much, but they had survived. When their bodies joined, each thrust became a joyful affirmation of their love, spiraling higher, until they released their ecstasy into the Living Force around them. They collapsed at last, sated, basking in their lover's bond.

Qui-Gon lay still, his arms around Obi-Wan, both of them content. He'd learned the future held no promises but one -- the commitment he shared with his Tiercel was enduring, a constant on which he could depend -- and that was enough.

They drifted to sleep, dappled sunlight playing over their bare skin, while the flitterbirds hummed nearby.

The End.