Master Apprentice
Archive
Five Years
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Archive - Yes. Master Apprentice, my site (when I have time to get it up and running) anyone else just ask.
Category - Q/O, angst, pre-slash, AU
Rating - PG
Spoilers - TPM
Disclaimer - George made them, I just play.
Summary - Five years after a Jedi mourns still
Feedback - Let me know what you think
Notes: I wrote this quickly inspired by the challenge. It is unbetaed. But I don't think I did too badly. / stuff/ Thoughts
Master Pilot Renalt didn't want to disturb his passenger. The young man had been so calm and serene through blaster bolt and some of the most intense negotiations the pilot had seen in his twenty years of flying for the Jedi. Working through the last of the landing cycle he shut down his board.
Strange as it had seemed the seemingly unflappable knight had gotten more and more tense as they approached Coruscant. Looking over his shoulder Renalt could see the silver blue eyes staring out blankly. Those eyes were so expressive, the pilot mused. The Jedi he had found prided themselves on control and serenity. But this one, he shook his head sadly. All you had to do was look into the boy's eyes to see how he felt. In the course of their several months together Renalt had seen them change from sky blue when he was truly serene to an odd sea green when that mischievous sense of humor was about to come out and play. This silver blue was new to him. Nothing left to do he unstrapped and leaned over to his copilot.
"Sir." Renalt spoke softly. "We've arrived."
Those eyes took a minute to focus and the color shifted. Storm gray now, what could be upsetting the Knight.
"Thank you Master Pilot." Always polite. "Good Journey to you."
"And to you Knight Kenobi." Renalt watched him leave. Wasn't there some sort of celebration going on at the Temple? A shadow of memory prodded at him. Oh well he'd worry about it when he had to not before.
Obi-Wan made his way through the halls. He keep to the back ways and stairs. If anything he hoped to avoid anyone and everyone. The brief glimpse of the main hall he had gotten was enough. Of all the times to have to report back to the Council, why this week? Why this day?
The hall of the Knights Tower he lived in was practically deserted. /Only stands to reason,/ he thought sourly. /Most of us are scattered throughout the galaxy. / Palming open the door he stepped into the undecorated, sterile quarters. /Those that aren't are celebrating./
He had avoided this day for so long had he deluded himself into thinking that he could do so forever? Obi-Wan dropped his pack and slipped off his boots. His dark cloak was slung over the back of the couch. Signing into the Temple system he uploaded what mail he had.
Anguish flared as he saw all the personal messages, one like had had seen every year. /Why was is harder today? Is it because I am here?/ Deleting most of them he had to answer certain ones. Bant had written him, as had Garen and Reeft. Those he replied to as best he could. They didn't offer congratulations, just well wishes.
/ They understand. /
Nothing to distract him, the bare walls seemed to close in. Obi-Wan slammed his boots back on and fled. His traitorous feet led him to the same meditation garden that he had visited so many times as a padawan. Morning meditation, the occasion outdoor bout. His master's hand on his shoulder.
/I miss those things. I miss his touch. I miss his presence. /Alone, unbothered Obi-Wan cried. Silent tears streaming down his face. Five years. How could time have moved so fast. /Five years without his presence near me. Five years without seeing him. His laughter, his smile. I never did tell him and now I never will./
/Master, I miss you so much. /
Releasing it all to the Force Obi-Wan surrendered the grief that had welled inside him since that fateful day. He surrendered all his words not spoken and the paths not taken. He gave up his fear of loneliness and the ache in his soul. Everything to the Force until was nothing more than a vessel of its will. And in it he found serenity.
/Let them celebrate/. He decided finally. / It doesn't matter./ Straightening his appearance Obi-Wan stood and walked back inside. He past by those well wishers managing a nod or a smile as they spoke. He greeted his colleges politely. He even managed a smile for a blond haired little boy and his master. A tall man unbent by age, whose brown hair was streaked with silver. Leone features were full of happiness and pride.
/All the words never spoken, everything I want or desires. I can give it all up because you are alive. If that is the price I have to pay, to see you, but not touch. To love you but not be loved. So be it. Force be with you Master even though I cannot./