Fighting Destiny

by Titti

Title: Fighting Destiny
Author: Titti
Email: titti_adriano@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.tittsrealm.com/fantasy/
Pairing: Mace/Obi-Wan
Archive: Everywhere it's posted.
Category: Obi/Other, Mace/Other, Romance, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers for RotS
Summary: After the meeting among Yoda, Mace and Obi-Wan on the Jedi Gunship, Obi-Wan and Mace must come to terms with their beliefs and their relationship.
Disclaimer: Not mine. George Lucas owns us all.
Feedback: Welcomed on or off list

Mace felt the moment that Obi-Wan approached his room, but he remained motionless, standing by his balcony and looking outside. If he had paid attention, he would have seen spaceships of all sizes and shapes moved against the setting sun, but his mind was in turmoil over the events of the last few days.

He didn't move when Obi-Wan walked inside his apartment, hesitating a little before moving across the living area. Mace didn't have to turn to know how Obi-Wan was taking off his cloak, sliding it off his shoulders with ease. Mace let a brief smile appear on his face at the image in his mind.

Obi-Wan approached him, until he stood behind Mace. "You're troubled."

Mace smiled, but it didn't hold any levity. "Don't tell me I shouldn't be worried about the future. I have enough conversations with Yoda."

Sliding his hands around Mace's waist, Obi-Wan rested his forehead against Mace's shoulder. "I am sorry if I'm adding to your worries, but we can trust Anakin. You'll see."

"I do not share your trust in young Skywalker, but for all our sakes, I hope you're right." Mace span around, and rested his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders. He let his fingers trail over Obi-Wan's neck. The world around them was collapsing, and it was wrong to indulge this way, wrong to want so much, but he regained his inner balance when he was with Obi-Wan, how could that be wrong? "Is there anything you needed?"

Obi-Wan smiled, his amusement clearly showing in his eyes. "That would depend if it's Master Windu or Mace asking."

"Ah, proof of the famous General Kenobi diplomacy, or maybe of his ability to deflect questions just as well as he can deflect bolts," answered Mace.

"Master Windu, you honor me with your words, but you haven't answered my own question."

Mace's fingers slid under the collar of Obi-Wan's clothes, before sliding up again. He started to trace Obi-Wan's lips, and then stopped, fixing the other man with his gaze. "I believe I have."

He didn't need to be force sensitive to feel the guilt coming off from his lover. "Obi-Wan...." He was a Jedi master, a member of the council, and yet Obi-Wan could leave him speechless all too frequently.

He almost moved his hands away, but Obi-Wan gripped his wrists. "Don't you ever wonder about what we're doing? It's against the code. What would Ani say? Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes, but when he reopened them again, Mace saw the pain vivid in those blue eyes.

"I don't care what they think. I want to know what you think. When you look inside yourself what do you feel? Because you have to either come to terms with this or we stop." Mace shook his head. "I can't let you be consumed by guilt."

"You seem very certain, Master," Obi-Wan answered, emphasizing the honorific. "You've made the decisions for both of us, but do you not have any doubts, Mace? Are you so willing to violate the code without looking back?"

Mace laughed mirthlessly. "I have no more certainties than you do, Obi-Wan. I've spent my life obeying the code, but for the first time, I find the code to be contrary to what I feel is right. No, I'm not certain, but I can't dismiss what I feel." He freed himself from Obi-Wan's hold, but he took a hand, and brought it to his lips. Gently, he kissed Obi-Wan's palm, but his eyes never left his lover's face. "Perhaps, you should go. These are dangerous times, and you can't afford to be distracted. There is no rush, Obi-Wan, search within you, and when you're ready, I'll be here."

"Distracted? I've asked a man who is like a brother to spy for us." Obi-Wan turned around, crossing his hands in front of his chest as he did so, something he did when he wanted to hide his doubts with his diplomatic persona or when he was stretching the truth, because Mace knew that Obi-Wan Kenobi never straight out lied. "I've asked him to violate the code, Mace, and now I'm here ready to do the same, and not for the first time. What is becoming of us when the code means so little?"

Mace pressed against Obi-Wan's back, and squeezed his shoulder. "The code has existed for millennia, but changes have been made. Sometimes, these changes were the result of people evading the rule. Qui-Gon was a master at pushing just a little more than it was allowed. Sometimes, we must seek guidance in the Force and decide if the code should be changed."

"Convenient that we seek to change it when it suits us."

Mace shook his head. "That is not what I said, Obi-Wan."

"Don't start...not with the teacher tone, not when I'm thinking of us naked." He leaned back, and Mace waited silently, knowing that there was more, and he wasn't disappointed when Obi-Wan started to speak again. "I understand what you are saying, Mace, but after fighting so hard to become a padawan, I spent my life trying to follow every rule, even when my own Master didn't seem keen in following them. It's hard to let go of that."

"I know, but Obi-Wan, what does the fact that you do not break the rules easily, but have broken this time and time again tell you?"

"That I'm weak?"

"I doubt it. Few Jedi are as strong as you are." Mace gently motioned for his lover to turn around, and waited until they were looking at each other. "You can't find the answer in my words, but only within you."

"I've made my choice, Mace. I made it even before I arrived here. What scares me-" Obi-Wan smiled at his own words. "I can hear Master Yoda in my head: fear, anger...." He chuckled again. "No, not fear, my concern is how easily I've made it, and I need to come to terms with that, but not right now. Right now, I need to forget about politics, war, death...about everything out there, for a few hours."

Mace nodded. His lover didn't think he understood, but he did. At thirty-eight, General Kenobi was looked upon as the hero of the Republic. People expected him to save them from the war, from the clones, from every evil in existence; they expected him to be everywhere and anywhere. As a member of the council, Mace had been responsible for sending Obi-Wan on mission after mission, watching as each new assignment left its toll on his lover, and yet, Obi-Wan never complained. If Mace could grant him a few hours of respite, then he would gladly do so.

Still holding Obi-Wan's hand, he walked toward his bedroom in silence. Mace stood in a corner, removing his belt and sash. Each layer was taken off, neatly folded and rested on a chair until he was standing in just his pants and boots. He didn't approach Obi-Wan, didn't ask why his lover was still dressed. This was always the hardest part for Obi-Wan, even after he had made up his mind, removing his clothes made the decision real for him. Mace understood, and gave him the time he needed. Mace sat on the bed, taking his boots off, trying not to react when he heard the ruffle of clothes that told him that Obi-Wan was getting naked as well.

Taking the rest of his clothes off, Mace lay under the sheet, reaching into the force for a patience that was slipping. He wanted to feel his lover, touch him, kiss him, but he would never pressure Obi-Wan, not with something this important.

"You are as calm as you are during a meeting of the council," Obi-Wan remarked as he approached the bed.

Mace looked up, and smiled. "Years of practice."

"Ah, so this is why we train so hard," Obi-Wan commented.

Quip after quip came to his head, but each one seemed inappropriate, words that would bring more pain and doubts. Being silent when there wasn't anything intelligent to say was another lesson he'd learned with time. Mace raised the sheet and simply stared at Obi-Wan, who after a moment of hesitation, joined him in the bed, both lying on their sides, facing each other.

Obi-Wan slowly moved his hands over Mace's chest, and he was in a trance as his eyes followed his fingers. "Five months."

"You've been missed...I've missed you." Mace cupped Obi-Wan's neck and pulled him closer until their lips met. The kiss started slow and tentative after months of separation, but as it grew bolder, their mental shields lowered, and their minds began chasing each other like their tongues were.

Mace had learned to recognize the fire and passion tamed by years of training, hidden in the deepest corners of Obi-Wan's mind, and with time, Mace had learned to seek out those corners as his lips traveled over Obi-Wan's skin. He had managed to pull down inner walls while his hands mapped Obi-Wan's body.

Even harder was learning to push aside his own defenses and training, lying bare for his lover until they reached a union that went past their bodies, creating a bond stronger than any Mace had ever felt before.

Obi-Wan moaned his name, but Mace could feel the need flowing from his lover like blue water rushing into the ocean, unable to be contained even by the strongest dam, powerful current that pulled you in until it overwhelmed you, and Mace gladly succumbed to this force.

Spooned against each other, Mace ran his hand over Obi-Wan's thigh, before kneading Obi-Wan's ass, watching as the traces of tension disappeared from Obi-Wan's face, until he looked as young as he was.

"Stop teasing, Mace," Obi-Wan said, thrusting a vial of oil in his hand.

"I have no intention of teasing." Mace kissed Obi-Wan's shoulder, before preparing his lover, and each moan echoed in his ears just as the warmth emanating from Obi-Wan's mind reached his soul.

When his lover opened to him, Mace dived in a world of sensation, their desires melting together until Mace didn't know which emotion belonged to whom, until his lust bounced off Obi-Wan and returned amplified through their bond. He continued to move, rocking against Obi-Wan, their fingers curling together, and yet another connection was formed. Slowly, their beings were weaved together until they were truly one in their search for pleasure, reaching a feverish edge, before they both plunged into sated peace.

Mace held onto his lover, their hands still joined, as they breathed together, willing their bodies to return to their natural state. "Will you stay the night?" he asked, as he reached for a hand towel and cleaned them as good as he could, before lying back next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan nodded. "You're still worried."

Mace pressed even closer, ignoring their need for a shower and breathing air. "I'm not. I'm...I'm uneasy. I can feel the Dark force surrounding us, but it has nothing to do with us being together, if that's what you are asking."

"Then find solace in us for a while." Obi-Wan rolled around until they were facing each other again. "If you don't want to stop thinking for yourself, do it for me. I find it difficult to push your uneasiness away at the moment."

"Blackmail? That's not like you." Mace smiled as he spoke, but he understood all too well. After their minds joined so completely, he could feel Obi-Wan's most hidden emotions for hours. "I'll try." When he saw Obi-Wan fighting to keep his laughter at bay, he grinned. "All right, there is no try. I won't think about it...for now. Happy?"

Obi-Wan laughed openly now, and nodded. "More than I've been in months. Thank you."

Once again, Obi-Wan managed to say things without actually saying it, but Mace understood anyway. He cupped Obi-Wan's face, and he slid his lips as pliant lips opened under the touch. Searching for all of his self-control, Mace pushed away. "You need to rest."

"*Now*, you're being a tease." Obi-Wan sighed while his hands ran over Mace's back. "But you are very wise, Master Windu."

"I promise not to be a tease after you rest. Now, rest, Obi-Wan." Mace pulled the other Jedi closer. He pushed away any concern he had, and sent only warm feelings through their residual bond, until he felt Obi-Wan's breathing slow down, but Mace knew that sleep was far away from him. The instability in the Force was only increasing, and with it, his uneasiness, but he couldn't afford to worry. Instead, he would try to remain logical, and with the Force's help, they would overcome these dark times.