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Fates: A Fading State of Innocence

by Raina

Category: Romance, AU, Q/O, unfortunately there isn't a category for Unresolved Sexual Tension in this fandom.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, though we do sort of own Padawan Quiggs and Padawan Ben. Dun and Seda belong to Leandra. She lets me play with them, though.

Series: Fates, takes place about six months after Fates: Clotho

Summary: Qui-Gon makes a discovery he doesn't quite know how to deal with.

Feedback: Always loved and cherished.

Notes: The next instalment in the Fates universe. I highly recommend that you read Fates: Clotho first, or else this isn't going to make much sense.

Thank you's: to Temve as always for the quick, thorough and entertaining beta (at least my mistakes were very entertaining). And to Leandra, my partner in crime, who created this Alternative Universe with me and shares custody of Padawans Quiggs and Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon Jinn strolled into the Padawan Lounge, at a leisurely pace, now and then nodding at a familiar face. A Padawan he knew passingly pointed wordlessly at the leisure room. Qui-Gon nodded his thanks and set off towards the room he'd been directed to. It was common knowledge throughout the Padawan community who Qui-Gon would be looking for when returning from a mission.

He entered the room and saw the person he was looking for lounging leisurely on the floor, his feet propped up on a chair. Qui-Gon hid a smile at the sight of Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was rare that he actually went on a mission alone with his Master, more often than not Obi-Wan and he went together with one of their masters, for as Padawans to senior Council members, one of their Masters always had to be on Coruscant. But this time Obi-Wan hadn't been able to accompany them as he'd had a class to finish, and Qui-Gon hated to admit it but he'd actually missed the impish young man.

Qui-Gon sighed. He admitted to himself that if it weren't for Obi- Wan, he would probably be rather lonely. Six months within the folds of the Order had brought Qui-Gon few friends, and those he had were all thanks to Obi-Wan. For not only had the young Padawan befriended him, he'd also introduced Qui-Gon to his small band of friends. All three of Obi-Wan's immediate set were Padawans of Council members, and the gang had accepted Qui-Gon easily as one of their own. By now the group formally known as the Council Four was slowly beginning to be known as the Council Five.

But of course not all of Obi-Wan's help in making Qui-Gon a fully accepted member of the Padawan community had been voluntary. When he first came to the Temple, Qui-Gon's gruff manner and wild origins had driven most Padawans away, but soon after his arrival, another legend began to replace his reputation as a loner and a renegade. Obi-Wan's closest friend Bant, who was a dear girl but couldn't keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it, had told the entire Temple that Qui-Gon had rejected Obi-Wan's advances, an event that was as unprecedented as it was inexplicable in the eyes of most Padawans.

So Qui-Gon had turned from the renegade to the man who could afford to reject Obi-Wan Kenobi. Often, when younger Padawans passed the two of them, staring in undisguised curiosity, he would contribute to Temple gossip by flashing a smug grin that seemed to say, "Yes, I could have had him, but I said no."

Fortunately, Obi-Wan had taken the rumours about the two of them with his usual good humour, not begrudging Qui-Gon the very real rejection behind the stories. For this Qui-Gon was eternally grateful, for he would not want to miss Obi-Wan's friendship. Once it had been established that nothing but friendship would be between them, they'd been on excellent terms. Occasionally, Obi-Wan would throw a flirtatious remark or look Qui- Gon's way, but it was more a joke now than anything else, and if the other Padawan still harboured more carnal feelings for Qui-Gon, he hid it very well.

He abandoned this train of thought when he approached his friend's position on the floor, and before he could say a word, Obi- Wan opened his eyes and squinted up at the tall youth.

"Welcome home, Quiggs. Did you miss me?" he said with a cheeky grin and a sparkle in his blue-green eyes.

Qui-Gon scowled, but couldn't quite keep up his stern act. "You're not that cute, Kenobi."

"Most people would beg to differ, Quiggs," Obi-Wan said with a wink and got to his feet.

In spite of himself, Qui-Gon laughed. He'd given up trying to cure Obi-Wan of calling him Quiggs, but so far he'd prevented anyone else from following suit. From others, the nickname sounded almost ridiculous - only Obi-Wan could make it sound affectionate.

He clapped a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder in a friendly manner and preceded his friend back to the common area of the Padawan Lounge, where they sat down and Qui-Gon started to tell Obi-Wan about his mission.

"I need to get laid!"

Qui-Gon spewed his tea all over his lunch tray at Dun's matter-of- fact statement. He still wasn't quite used to this particular Padawan set's candid ways.

Bant nodded thoughtfully. "I know what you mean, Dun."

Qui-Gon stared in wonder at the usually timid and sensitive girl. "Bant!" he exclaimed in shock.

The Calamarian girl giggled. "Don't be such a prude, Qui-Gon. Just because you don't seem to have a sex-drive the rest of us can't stay celibate forever."

Qui-Gon shifted in his chair, uncomfortable. The three of them were sitting in the crowded mess hall and he knew that several tables full of Padawans could easily overhear their conversation. A hand clapping on his shoulder made him start, and he looked up to see Seda and Obi-Wan standing next to the table. He immediately made room for his two best friends and they settled down next to him with their trays.

Obi-Wan started to eat as if he hadn't had any food in days, but Seda took a leisurely look around and grinned when her eyes came to rest on Qui-Gon. "You look very red in the face. Are you hot?"

Qui-Gon blushed even more deeply and coughed uncomfortably. The other Padawans laughed and Seda asked, a twinkle in her eyes, "So what were you guys talking about?"

"Sex." Dun shrugged.

"Our state of sexual frustration, to be exact." Bant added.

Obi-Wan grunted between bites, "I know exactly what you mean."

Qui-Gon's stomach suddenly clenched as everyone at the table stared at Obi-Wan in open disbelief.

"You?" Seda croaked.

"Hah. Kenobi can't get any. There's a joke if ever I heard one." Dun snorted and resumed shovelling in his food.

Obi-Wan put his spoon down, offended. "It's not that I can't get any, it's just that I haven't had time to go out on the hunt lately."

Qui-Gon's clenched stomach gave a twist.

"Well, in that case, why don't we visit the Hunting Ground as soon as we've all got a night off," Seda suggested.

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows, forcefully ignoring the band of banthas that seemed to have taken residence in his entrails. "Hunting Ground?" he enquired.

"It's a bar near the Temple where most Jedi Padawans go when they want to get some. It's called the Black Brother, but among Padawans it's called the Hunting Ground. Most Masters actually call it the Meat Market. Less subtle, but accurate," Obi-Wan explained with absolute nonchalance. "And you're right, Seda. We should go."

Qui-Gon only wished his stomach would stop doing flip-flops all the time as he took in Obi-Wan's rather eager expression.

Bant looked around the table. "So what about tonight?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Well.."

Qui-Gon interrupted him almost hastily, "Actually, Obi-Wan, I have this test in Astrophysics soon, and I just don't understand the theory behind it, so I wanted to ask you if you could help me with it."

Obi-Wan shrugged, "Sure, no problem, Quiggs. So it's study-group tonight. Anyone want to join us?"

An eerie silence fell over the table when all Padawans suddenly concentrated on their food with new-found enthusiasm. Qui-Gon scooped up a spoonful of his stew and wondered why his stomach had suddenly unclenched and why he was just now repressing a sigh of relief.

The next afternoon after 'sabre class, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were standing around talking as usual when Qui-Gon saw Bant approach from the girls' changing room. Before the other Padawan was within earshot, Qui-Gon turned to Obi- Wan quickly and asked, "Do you have time to show me this jump and slash manoeuvre you do at the end of Master J'let's fifth form?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Sure. Get your 'sabre."

Qui-Gon turned and went to get his lightsabre from a nearby bench. He sat down to have some water and watched Bant talk to Obi-Wan, who shook his head emphatically and gestured in Qui-Gon's general direction. Bant shrugged, waved at Qui-Gon who returned the salutation, and strolled out.

Obi-Wan sauntered over to where Qui-Gon sat and took the water bottle Qui-Gon offered.

"What did she want?" Qui-Gon asked, keeping his voice disinterested.

A shrug. "Asked if we wanted to go to the Hunting Ground tonight."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow, "And?"

Obi-Wan frowned, "And? We don't have time for the Hunting Ground tonight, not if you want to learn that jump and slash manoeuvre. So let's get going, Quiggs."

He threw the towel that had been hanging around his neck at Qui-Gon and went to the centre of the training mats.

Qui-Gon sighed. He hadn't asked Obi-Wan to train just to keep away from the Hunting Ground, but it proved a nice side effect. He really wanted to learn this jump and slash manoeuvre.

Three hours and some serious bruises later he wasn't sure it had been such a good idea to ask Obi-Wan for 'sabre lessons. Not that he wasn't a good teacher, but he was as demanding and relentless as any Master. But it had been worth it, he noted with satisfaction. He had the feeling he could do this move in his sleep now, and furthermore he'd avoided going to the Hunting Ground.

Smiling in silent contentment, he finished his "cooling down" kata and sat down cross-legged on the training mat. Obi-Wan wasn't finished with his own exercises, so Qui-Gon watched the other Padawan in silence.

Obi-Wan moved gracefully through the kata, his eyes closed, his focus totally inward, his silence and serenity both highly unusual for the young man. Qui-Gon had often wondered at the contradictions in Obi- Wan's personality. On one hand he could be almost frivolous, but in a heartbeat he could shed his impish ways like a second skin and be a perfectly focused, disciplined and professional Jedi, and woe to the man who underestimated him.

With a 'sabre in his hand, Obi-Wan looked like the formidable warrior he was, but now as he was bathed in the light of the setting sun, body moving fluidly through the slow exercise, he looked vulnerable and very young in his peaceful communion with the Force.

Not to mention very beautiful. His hair was mussed, his tunics in disarray from the fighting, his skin was glistening ever so slightly and his face was graced with the slightest hint of a serene smile.

The impish eyes opened as Obi-Wan finished the exercise, and Qui-Gon forced himself to look away, to not let himself wonder why he was desperately looking for a reason to touch Obi-Wan now, not let himself question the small twist he felt in his heart.

His Jedi reflexes were all that prevented the towel Obi-Wan threw at him from hitting his face. "Coruscant to Quiggs. Hello! I asked you a question."

Qui-Gon gave the other Padawan a glare, but was met with a grin.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Sorry, I was.."

"Daydreaming. I noticed. Anything interesting going on in that head of yours?" Obi-Wan asked with a good-natured pat on Qui-Gon's back.

"Keep your nose out of my head, Kenobi," Qui-Gon growled, angry with himself for blushing.

Obi-Wan chuckled. "All right, I won't ask. Now, I asked if you've had enough sparring for tonight."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes, I'm exhausted."

Obi-Wan gave the taller Padawan a hand up. "Me too. Come on, let's get some grub and call it a night."

Qui-Gon agreed and followed his friend to the changing rooms, trying steadfastly not to think about Obi-Wan and showers.

The Padawan lounge was almost empty the following evening, except for Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Seda and Bant, and completely silent, for its occupants were all bowed over data pads or heavy volumes on ancient Jedi philosophy. All four of them had to take an exam in the morning and had stayed up late to study.

Obi-Wan closed his book with an audible clap, and said with fervent conviction, "If I have to read one more word of this pointless smart-assing about the Code, I swear I'll scream." He stood up and stretched his back until his spine popped. His three friends all nodded in hearty agreement.

Qui-Gon tossed his data pad away. "You know I wasn't too fond of the Code before this course, but now I really understand why my Master left the Order."

Seda snickered. "Hear, hear! Though you shouldn't complain, this study group was your idea after all."

Bant got up from the table and started to collect her class material. "Still, he has a point, Seda. Sometimes I think Jedi Philosophy has depleted our ranks more thoroughly than the Sith."

Obi-Wan chuckled and put an arm around Bant's shoulders in an affectionate gesture. Bant snuggled in and slipped her arm around Obi-Wan's waist. He yawned and said, "I'm wasted. Let's go to bed."

Bant giggled. "How could I resist such a charming invitation?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Bant, I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat fish, much less sleep with them."

The whole group laughed at the familiar exchange between the two friends. Bant was practically Obi-Wan's sister and they both tended to tease each other mercilessly. Bant leaned her head against Obi-Wan's shoulder and batted her huge fishy eyes at him. "If you weren't so damned cute, Kenobi."

Seda sighed. "You two look so sweet together."

Bant tightened her hold on Obi-Wan. "Get your own crèche brother to cuddle, Seda."

The other girl sighed. "Oh, please, the sun's going to nova before Dun will ever show his feelings like that."

Obi-Wan smiled down at Bant. "Come on, let's go. I'll walk you home."

Qui-Gon had sobered up considerably watching his three friends. "You two do indeed look cute together."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Jealous, Quiggs?"

Qui-Gon snorted. "You wish, Kenobi."

Though as he watched the two friends leave together, he had to admit there was more truth in Obi-Wan's words than he'd like to admit. He wasn't jealous of their friendship, but he found he was a bit envious of the undemanding and easy affection between them. He would like to be able to speak to Obi-Wan, or tease him or touch him with the same easy nonchalance, but between them there always seemed to be a lingering tension from that first meeting.

"You're falling for him, aren't you?" Seda's voice made him come back to reality, and he turned from the door he'd been staring at ever since Obi-Wan and Bant had left, to face his friend.

"Kenobi? Don't be ridiculous!" he snorted.

Seda smiled. "It would be perfectly natural for you to do so. After all, the second most common crush after the one on one's Master is the one on Kenobi. He's devastated whole years of Padawans and even a few Knights. I think at some point even Dun wanted him."

Now it was Qui-Gon's turn to smirk. "Jealous, are we?"

"Of Dun? Don't be silly, Qui-Gon. We're just friends," Seda said, trying to sound nonchalant, but blushing furiously.

"Just like me and Obi-Wan. I admit that as a being with eyes in my head and a sex drive it would be a lie if I said that I never entertained the fleeting thought of what it might be like to..." he trailed off, blushing as well. "But that doesn't mean I'm falling for him. You practically admitted that you wanted to sleep with him yourself."

Seda raised her eyebrows. "Not wanted to, Quiggs. Did."

Qui-Gon stared. "Get out of here. You and Obi-Wan?" He paused. "And don't call me Quiggs."

Seda grinned. "It was just one night, we were both drunk, horny and available. It was no big deal. We agreed that we were incompatible for anything but sex, and remained good friends."

Qui-Gon closed his mind to the image of Seda and Obi-Wan together, but he had to admit that he didn't particularly like the feeling this image stirred in him.

"Envious, Quiggs?" his friend asked, a half-smile on her face.

Envy. Ridiculous. "You're not that devastating, dear. And don't call me Quiggs, I mean it."

Seda's half-smile turned into a wicked grin. "See? You would never say that to Obi-Wan."

"It sounds different from him." Qui-Gon raised his hands defensively.

"Whatever works for you, Qui-Gon." Seda shrugged and got up.

"Good night," she said, kissing Qui-Gon on the cheek, and strolled out.

"Say hi to Dun from me," Qui-Gon called after her.

"Echuta!" came the good-natured retort.

Qui-Gon tsked. How rude. Sighing, he dismissed Seda's parting invective and closed his eyes to think. Falling for Obi-Wan. Ridiculous.

Though he had to admit the fleeting moments of attraction he'd admitted to hadn't been very fleeting lately. In fact, his desire for Obi-Wan hadn't faded as he thought it would after that first meeting, it had only transformed and was now less sharp, but warmer and no longer easy to separate from the friendship he felt for the other Padawan. But that didn't mean he was falling for him. It didn't.

"This place is driving me crazy. I think I'm going to climb the walls if I have to spend one more night cooped up in here with you all," Dun exclaimed, his gestures encompassing the half-empty Padawan lounge as well as his three friends who shared his table.

Bant nodded her agreement. "Yes, let's go out. I'm getting depressed and I'm sure depression leads to the Dark Side."

Obi-Wan and Seda both agreed with enthusiastic nods. A moment later the door to the Padawan lounge opened and in walked a stack of books and data pads on legs that looked suspiciously like Padawan Jinn's.

The young man stumbled towards the table and set his books down with a grunt. The face that was revealed to his friends now looked thunderous. "Evening, people," He practically grunted to his fellow Padawans.

"What's all this then, Qui...Gon?" Seda asked, indicating the books and data pads, stopping herself in the last moment from using the nickname.

Qui-Gon gave her a dirty look. "'All this' is the Ancient Jedi Philosophy class I failed."

"Master Lo'tian failed you?" Obi-Wan sounded outraged.

"Yes," Qui-Gon grunted. "Apparently my interpretation of Jedi Code is 'inappropriate'."

Obi-Wan scoffed. "Stiff-necked idiot."

"Obi-Wan!" Bant exclaimed, shocked.

The young man flashed her an unrepentant grin. "What? I'm only quoting Dun."

He turned back to Qui-Gon. "So what are you going to do, Quiggs?"

Qui-Gon sighed deeply. "Well, I have to write a paper on Master Larek's interpretation of the second book of the code."

The others groaned in sympathy. Obi-Wan indicated the books. "You have to go through all these?"

Sullenly, Qui-Gon nodded.

"Want some help?" Obi-Wan asked with a smile.

Qui-Gon looked up, a grateful smile lighting up his face. "Always."

"But what about our plans to go to the Hunting Ground tonight?" Dun asked.

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan, fully expecting him to recant his offer of help because of this prior engagement. But Obi-Wan only made a dismissive gesture at Dun and shrugged. "We can go there tomorrow. Right now, Quiggs needs help. Anyone else feel up to it?"

The three others all suddenly remembered urgent appointments or heard their Masters calling over the training bonds, and in record time Qui- Gon and Obi-Wan were alone at their table with just a stack of reading material to keep them company. Obi-Wan picked up one of the heavy volumes and leafed through it casually, occasionally licking his fingers to turn a page. When he looked up, Qui-Gon was staring at him with an unfathomable expression on his face. He raised his eyebrows at the other Padawan. "Well, Quiggs, should we go to your room, my room, or do you want to do it right here?"

Qui-Gon cleared his throat and suggested his room. After Obi-Wan's nod he picked up a pile of reading material, led the way to the quarters he shared with Master Windu and was fervently grateful that Obi-Wan couldn't read his thoughts right now.

Qui-Gon put the data pad down and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"I think we're about finished here," he said to his companion, who sat opposite him at the table in the common room of the quarters he shared with Master Windu.

When he didn't receive any answer, he looked over the stacks of books and pads to Obi-Wan, only to find him fast asleep, his face pressed into the book on the table in front of him. Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair and stretched economically, not wanting to move too much so as not to wake his friend.

He couldn't quite believe that the paper was finished. It had taken them most of the night, but here it was. He knew he wouldn't have made it without Obi-Wan - his help, explanations and sarcastic comments had been most helpful.

The coppery head on the other side of the table stirred and Qui-Gon held his breath. He didn't want him to wake up yet.

He let his eyes drift lazily over Obi-Wan's still form, the face, relaxed and peaceful in sleep, the short spikes of hair, the rising and falling of his shoulders with each breath he took. Qui-Gon felt an odd surge of protectiveness. He wished his friend could always be so peaceful and relaxed, not the alert and wary Jedi he saw on occasion. He wished the incredible eyes would stay closed for now so that he was allowed to watch over his friend's rest. A wave of tenderness surged over him and suddenly all he wanted was to carry Obi-Wan off to bed, tuck him in and hold him while he slept.

Horrified, Qui-Gon felt realisation dawning. This feeling gripping his heart now had nothing to do with the flares of desire he'd felt in the past, it was warmer, more tender and infinitely more complex. Force help him, he had fallen in love with Obi-Wan. Fallen in love with that arrogant, cheeky, full-of-himself, kind, funny, loyal, beautiful, sensuous... bastard. Qui-Gon groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Obi-Wan stirred and raised his head from the book. Blue-green eyes murky with sleep opened and a smile spread from them over the rest of the face. "Sorry. Must have dozed off."

Qui-Gon looked up at him and tried to think about something else than his desire to run his fingers through sleep-mussed hair. He cleared his throat. "Well, I've finished the paper anyway."

"Excellent. Let me read." Obi-Wan extended his hand and Qui-Gon put the data pad into it quickly to escape temptation to entwine these slender elegant fingers with his own. While Obi-Wan read the final version of the paper, Qui-Gon had time to strengthen his shields and bring his raging emotions and pounding heart under a semblance of control.

Finally, Obi-Wan raised his eyes from the pad and handed it back to Qui-Gon. "Very good. Even that arrogant ass Master Lo'tian shouldn't be able to fail you now."

Qui-Gon smiled and shook his head. "Obi-Wan, is that a way to talk about a Master?"

The young Padawan just shrugged nonchalantly. "Please, even Yoda thinks the man is a pompous ass."

Qui-Gon's eyes widened. "Did he actually say that?"

Obi-Wan snorted. "Of course not. He said something like 'Overenthusiastic for his own opinions, Master Lo'tian may be. But follow the Code, every Jedi must in his own way.' Meaning in Basic, Master Lo'tian is a smart-arse who thinks only his own opinion of any value."

Obi-Wan did a very good imitation of Yoda, Qui-Gon thought as he laughed at his friend's words. Interestingly enough, Obi-Wan didn't tolerate anyone else disrespecting his Master, just like Qui- Gon didn't tolerate anyone else calling him Quiggs.

Qui-Gon took the pad up again and noted a few minor corrections Obi- Wan had made. "Why do you know so much about ancient Jedi philosophy?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Because I live with an ancient Jedi philosopher. Did you know that there are ten different words for 'swamp grass' in Dagobese? And that several of them can be used as insults for stupidity? I learned Jedi Philosophy in sheer self-defence, just to escape my Master's comparing me with swamp grass all the time."

Qui-Gon chuckled and his heart twisted anew. Nobody ever made him laugh like Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan stretched slowly, lazily, and Qui-Gon thought that his almost feline grace in the 'sabre court extended to other areas as well. A comfortable silence settled between them as they started to collect their notes and materials. More than once, Qui-Gon suppressed a sigh. He needed time in meditation. Time for his head to catch up with his aching heart.

When a frustrated groan escaped Qui-Gon in a careless moment, Obi-Wan looked up and frowned. "Are you all right, Quiggs?"

Qui-Gon forced a smile and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Just tired after the long night of studying, and my head aches."

Which was true, but only a symptom of his real problem. Obi-Wan stood briskly and walked around the table to where his friend was sitting. "I have just the thing against headaches. Just lean back, relax and close your eyes."

Qui-Gon drew in a sharp breath, but did as he was told. He closed his eyes and managed not to tremble with anticipation. He settled back in his chair and his imagination took over, his mind already supplementing images through his closed eyes.

Messy coppery hair, sparkling blue-green eyes that would draw closer to his, rosy lips that just begged to be kissed would blow little wisps of breath over his face before a tender mouth would settle on his.

Qui-Gon wet his lips in anticipation just as tender fingers settled in his hair, slowly starting to massage pressure points all over his scalp.

He managed to hold back a sigh of disappointment and tried to relax back into the very pleasant caress, but his mind couldn't stop whispering 'Kiss me.'

But he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't. Flirt, he might, insinuate, maybe, but Obi-Wan would never cross a line that Qui-Gon had established very early in their relationship.

Laying his head back and abandoning himself to Obi-Wan's ministrations, listening with half an ear as the young man told him in a soft voice some banal story about the first time he failed an exam, Qui-Gon Jinn tried desperately to figure out what he had done to deserve this. Having the other so close, but having missed his chance for there to be anything between them other than friendship. Qui-Gon was pretty sure that Obi-Wan was no longer interested in him, at least there had been no indication that the other Padawan had any amorous interest in him anymore.

Sith. Seda would love this. Just as he was sure Obi-Wan had overcome his crush that had made the first phase of their friendship just a tad uncomfortable, Qui-Gon had to fall in love with him. The Force apparently loved irony.

Elegant fingers were removed from his scalp and he sighed at the loss of contact, though the rational part of his mind was glad, for the last thing he needed now was for Obi-Wan to catch on to the lazy arousal that had taken hold of Qui-Gon.

He opened his eyes again and smiled automatically when blue-green ones met his gaze and Obi-Wan asked with a smile of his own, "Feeling better?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes, thank you. And thank you for all your help tonight."

Obi-Wan winked. "Don't mention it, Quiggs."

A huge yawn split the young man's face and he sighed, "We'd better call it a night. I'll help you clean up here and then I'm going to bed."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Leave it. I'll do it tomorrow before morning meditation; I'm too tired now. Besides, you've done more than enough for me tonight." And I need to get out now so I can meditate on how to get this silly infatuation out of my system, a well-shielded voice in his head supplied.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Right. In that case, good night. Pick me up from Advanced Diplomacy tomorrow and tell me what Master Lo'tian said?"

"Of course." Qui-Gon smiled.

"Well, then, good night, Quiggs. I hope I don't dream of Master Larek's third axiom now."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Well, there are worse things I guess." Like dreaming of how long it would take to kiss you breathless, he added in his mind.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "If there are worse things, I surely don't want to know about them. Night!" With a last wave, he strolled out of the door.

Qui-Gon stood up and went to his own room, then dropped onto the bed with a sigh. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, so despite the confused storm of his emotions he fell asleep instantly, and predictably dreamed in great detail about how long it would take to kiss Obi-Wan Kenobi breathless.

Qui-Gon paced in front of the Advanced Diplomacy class, waiting for Obi-Wan and his other friends to finish the class. The data pad he carried was all but forgotten as he repeated the same motions over and over again. Three steps forward. Turn. Three steps back to his original position. Repeat.

Pacing was really the most boring of tasks, but he didn't have another right now, and he needed to do something. All day, he'd rushed from chore to chore, making up new ones when he'd finished all his work, just to avoid having to think about the discovery he'd made last night. And he wouldn't think about it now. He wouldn't.

But his thoughts had a mind of their own, it seemed. They galloped away with images and realisations about last night he didn't have the time or will to contemplate. Pale skin and a silky voice. Sparkling eyes, making him laugh about Master Larek's seven axioms, an art form in itself. Damn Obi-Wan. He had a way of insinuating himself into one's affection by being so funny and helpful and warm and cocky and desirable...

He slammed a lid onto his raging thoughts as the door to the classroom opened and a relatively small group of Padawans filed out in twos or threes. Qui-Gon spotted Obi-Wan immediately, who was apparently looking for him and speaking to Seda with an absent air before spotting Qui-Gon and calling out. "Quiggs!" He waved for Qui-Gon to join them.

As soon as he'd joined his two friends, he was assaulted with questions.

"What did he say?"

"Did you pass?"

Qui-Gon held up a hand to still them both. "Yes, I passed. Have a look."

He handed the data pad to Obi-Wan, who skimmed over the text down to the teacher's remarks and started to read them with growing amazement. "Improvement of insights into complex structures of thinking, stylistic appreciation, solid interpretation of Master Larek's third axiom..." Obi-Wan looked up. "Quiggs, he passed you with honours!"

A grin spread on Qui-Gon's face. "He did."

Obi-Wan grinned back and impulsively threw his arms around the taller Padawan, hugging him.

Qui-Gon stiffened and Obi-Wan drew back, blushing and grinning sheepishly. "Sorry."

Qui-Gon cleared his throat and tried not to blush an even brighter pink than Obi-Wan. "It's all right."

Seda, who was watching them with badly concealed amusement, patted Qui-Gon on the shoulder. "Well done."

Qui-Gon turned to Seda, grateful to have something else to focus on other than how adorable Obi-Wan looked when he was embarrassed. "Thanks, Seda, but the credit goes to Obi-Wan. He was the one who made me understand what it was Master Lo'tian wanted to hear."

Obi-Wan made a disclaiming gesture. "You would have figured it out by yourself, I just pointed you in the right direction."

Qui-Gon was about to respond when Seda cut in, "It's not important who did what here, is it? Qui-Gon passed with honours and that ought to be celebrated."

Obi-Wan nodded, "You're right, Seda. A celebration is in order."

Dun broke in, flinging his arm casually around Seda's shoulder, "What are we celebrating?"

Seda snuck her arm around Dun's hip. "Qui-Gon passed Ancient Jedi Philosophy."

Dun nodded at Qui-Gon. "Impressive. I struggled with that myself."

Seda laughed and poked Dun's ribs. "Liar. He passed the first time, with highest honours."

Dun shrugged. "Understanding my Master's warped mind is more difficult."

Seda frowned. "Do you think that's why Obi-Wan never had problems with languages? Because you need a translator's diploma to understand Master Yoda's Basic?"

The group laughed, and Obi-Wan snorted, "You think his Basic is hard to understand? Try his Dagobese."

Dun shook his head. "Kenobi, aside from Master Yoda and Master Yaddle, you're the only member of the Order who actually speaks Dagobese."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "That's not true, you're forgetting Master T'lira."

Qui-Gon frowned. He'd never heard that name before. "Who?"

"She's a 95-year old Viegan who lives in the North Tower. She was Obi-Wan's predecessor as Master Yoda's Padawan," Seda explained. "Once in a while Obi-Wan sneaks off to visit her and they gossip about Master Yoda."

Obi-Wan drew up an eyebrow in indignation. "I do not gossip." The other three Padawans just looked at him and then burst out laughing.

When they had settled down again, Dun got back on the original subject. "So let's go to the Hunting Ground tonight. We've talked about it for a week, and it seems the perfect place to celebrate Qui-Gon's success."

He slipped away from Seda who looked a bit disappointed, Qui-Gon noted, and threw an arm around Qui-Gon's shoulder in a companionable gesture. "We might just get you laid tonight, Quiggs," he murmured.

Qui-Gon groaned. Much as he racked his brain, he couldn't find a good reason to refuse. He did need to set something straight though. "Don't call me Quiggs, Dun, or I'll slice off one of your tentacles."

Seda and Obi-Wan dissolved into laughter and nobody paid any attention to Qui-Gon's resigned sigh.

The door chimed and Qui-Gon rose from meditation and got up reluctantly. He had been trying to avoid this for days. He admitted to himself that for the past week, he had tried everything he could think about to keep himself and especially Obi-Wan away from the Hunting Ground. Now he had run out of excuses and had a whole evening of watching Obi- Wan going off to get laid to look forward to.

His afternoon meditations had been dedicated wholly to the subject of Obi-Wan. In consequence, he'd been broadcasting his confusion so loudly that his Master had asked him what was wrong. Qui-Gon had been on the verge of telling him, but Master Windu took everything so seriously and would have given him advice he didn't want to implement, namely to stay away from Obi-Wan. So he'd smiled and said that nothing was wrong. And technically speaking, it wasn't even a lie. There wasn't anything wrong with him. At the same time it had been a huge lie, for he felt terrible.

Meditation had yielded clarity, at least. His emotions weren't confused any longer. But what he'd found wasn't likely to make his life any easier. He sighed and rubbed his nose as he made his way towards the door.

If he only had the nerve to act on his emotions. And perhaps he would if he believed it could make any difference. He was sure that whatever interest Obi-Wan had had in him had faded some time ago and what was left now was only friendship. So the only reaction he'd get if he revealed his feelings to Obi-Wan would be a friendly rejection and the awkwardness that had overshadowed their friendship for quite some time would be back again.

Qui-Gon sighed again. It was best not to disturb the equilibrium, not to mess up what they had, at least as long as he was sure there wasn't any hope. He straightened his shirt and wiped his sweaty palms on his leather pants before he opened the door to face Obi-Wan, who had come to pick him up for a night of debauchery, as Dun had phrased it.

His stomach lurched as the door slid open and revealed Obi-Wan, who was dressed from head to toe in skin-tight green suede. He knew the outfit. In fact it was exactly what Obi-Wan had worn the night they met. Hunting gear, the part of his mind that still worked supplied. Qui-Gon clenched his teeth. I could have had him then, a voice in his mind whispered, and I said no. I'm a blasted idiot.

Trying not to stare, he waved Obi-Wan in and went to look for his credit chip. He turned his back to Obi-Wan and heard the other Padawan exhale audibly.

He turned and saw Obi-Wan's gaze roaming appreciatively over Qui- Gon's form, clad in a black shirt and black leather pants that clung in all the right places. Obi-Wan's smoky blue eyes met Qui-Gon's and for a second neither of them remembered how to breathe.

Then Obi-Wan looked away and blushed. "Sorry," he murmured. Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan forced a smile. "You look nice."

Qui-Gon, who had blushed himself, smiled back shakily and nodded. "You too. Shall we go?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "After you."

Qui-Gon smiled as he strolled out the door, knowing full well that Obi-Wan was staring at his ass. Maybe there was hope after all.

Two hours later Qui-Gon had despaired once again. Had he imagined the look of covetous desire in Obi-Wan's eyes? For at the moment Obi-Wan didn't look as if he was pining for Qui- Gon. From where Qui-Gon was sitting, it looked like Obi-Wan had the time of his life on the dance floor, dancing and flirting, singling out his prey, an attractive and slightly androgynous young man with blonde hair.

The Hunting Ground was a loud and somewhat disreputable-looking establishment. The light was sultry, the tables were packed as well as the dance floor and there were plenty of dark niches where one could get better acquainted with one's conquest.

Qui-Gon hated it. Fortunately, their table was in a rather quiet corner that nevertheless overlooked the entire establishment, and even more fortunately, their Corellian whisky was excellent.

The bottle with said beverage was his only companion at the moment for all his friends had decided to try their luck on the dance floor. Just at this moment, he could see Dun being led into a dark corner by two scantily dressed Twi'lek girls who clearly had Dun by the tentacles. Out of the corner of an eye he saw Seda, with whom Dun had been dancing prior to the encounter with the two aggressive females. She was flushed and turned to stalk back to the table where Qui-Gon was sitting.

She flung herself next to him and gestured to the waitress with Qui- Gon's half-full whisky bottle. "More of this. And keep it coming." She glanced at Qui-Gon who hadn't spared her a look. She followed his intense stare and immediately found the aim of his scrutiny. "Aha. So that explains why you're trying to get drunk."

Qui-Gon finally took his eyes off Obi-Wan and turned to Seda, who was just pouring herself a generous glass of Corellian whisky. "And I think it's pretty obvious why you want to get drunk."

She blushed. "Is it really that obvious?"

Qui-Gon put a reassuring arm around her shoulders. "Not really. But after what just happened it looks like we're in the same boat."

Seda grinned. "Well, at least you're no longer in denial."

Qui-Gon shrugged. "It got to a point where I couldn't ignore it any longer."

She chuckled. "You know what's really funny?"

Qui-Gon sighed. "What?"

"Contrary to most people who ever had a crush on him, you could have had him, and you said no." Seda's grin withered with the look Qui-Gon shot her. "Sorry. But you know it's true."

He sighed heavily. "Well, yes. But the problem is that I don't have a crush on him. I'm not infatuated with him or only sexually attracted to him. I think I've fallen in love with him, Seda."

She closed her eyes and grimaced in sympathy. "Oh dear, I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon waved her apology away and poured himself more whisky. Seda helped herself to some crackers and asked, "So why don't you tell him then?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "He's no longer interested, that's why. I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"No longer interested? Are you sure? The way he looks at you sometimes..." Seda trailed off and gestured over to the dance floor where Obi-Wan stood, alone for the moment, eyes fixed on the table were his two friends were sitting, the expression in his gaze unreadable due to the distance.

Qui-Gon looked back and for a moment he met dark blue eyes that sparked with something he couldn't quite define. Then the music started again and Obi-Wan's prey for the evening came back to draw him to the dance floor once again. His eyes lingering on Qui-Gon, he let himself be pulled along and only when they reached the centre of the floor and his partner demanded his attention did Obi-Wan look away.

Qui-Gon swallowed a sigh at the loss of contact and tried to quell the impulse to stalk over to the dance floor, hack Obi-Wan's boy toy into tiny pieces with his lightsabre and sweep Obi-Wan off his feet, press him against a wall and ravish him. Press their bodies together, dissolve into Obi-Wan's kiss, his taste, his smell. Feel that stab of desire and know it was reciprocated and not just an empty and insubstantial forever unfulfilled dream but solid reality.

"Another drink?" Seda's voice interrupted his fantasies.

He nodded despondently. "Make it a double."

Two hours later Seda and Qui-Gon were leaning on the table, more than a little on the drunk side already. "He doesn't see me as a woman, you know. For him I'm just good old Seda, his friend from the crèche who has always been there and always will be there, no matter what he says or does. He just doesn't see me." Seda's voice was slightly slurred and her eyes were unfocused.

Qui-Gon patted her shoulder clumsily, but didn't really pay attention to her. He was watching Obi-Wan again and wished desperately for the cold fingers that clenched his heart and stomach to go away.

There is no anger, there is peace, he repeated to himself over and over again. Hearts do not break. There is no passion, there is serenity. But who was he kidding? He'd very much like to cut off the boy toy's hands where they were resting on Obi-Wan's slender hips, his heart felt very much like it might break the longer he watched Obi- Wan make out with the boy toy and if what he was feeling wasn't passion he didn't know what else to call it.

When Obi-Wan whispered something into his boy toy's ear and slowly walked towards their table, Qui-Gon's throat went dry and his heart beat faster.

Obi-Wan reached them and nodded a greeting. "Guys, I'm leaving. Don't wait for me." He gave them a conspiratorial smile and reached for his credit chip.

Time slowed for Qui-Gon. He knew if he didn't say anything now, Obi-Wan would go home with the boy toy and possibly be lost to him forever. He reached for Obi-Wan's hand as it closed around the credit chip. "Don't leave," he whispered.

Obi-Wan's eyes met his and held. Frowning, Obi-Wan asked, "Why not?"

This was it, Qui-Gon knew it. Say something, a voice in his mind screamed at him. But he couldn't. His mouth worked but no sound came out.

Obi-Wan leaned forward and fixed Qui-Gon with a stare. "Why shouldn't I leave?" he asked again, very slowly, accentuating each word.

Qui-Gon swallowed. All his courage left him under Obi-Wan's intense gaze. You know why, he wanted to say. Stay with me. Not with that worthless piece of meat whose name you'll have forgotten tomorrow. Stay with me. But he couldn't speak. Not a word came out of his mouth.

Slowly, he released Obi-Wan's arm and looked away from the intense eyes. "It's nothing."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Have it your way. I'll see you tomorrow, Quiggs."

Without another word he turned and walked away. Collecting his boy toy, he walked out of the club without turning back.

Qui-Gon buried his head in his hands. If hearts couldn't break, as Master Bur had always steadfastly claimed, what was it then his heart was doing?

To be continued