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The Jedi Temple at Coruscant. Tall, majestic, overwhelming. Warm, inviting, home. Qui-Gon seriously considered kissing the floor. He remembered the first time he'd looked at the Temple, the fear and uncertainty after his Master's death. He recalled his slack-jawed wonder at the sight of the Temple, his awe and intimidation. Now he only saw his home through the blur his vision had become.

He swallowed and half-turned as he felt Obi-Wan's hand on his shoulder. "Looks good, doesn't it?"

He met Obi-Wan's eyes and smiled. "Without a doubt it's the second most beautiful thing I've seen in my life."

Obi-Wan's eyes softened. There was no need for him to ask what the most beautiful thing was; Qui-Gon's gaze spoke volumes. They were saved from commenting by an excited squeal, then Qui-Gon was hit by something large at great speed. He tumbled to the ground and when he could look up again, he exclaimed, "Seda, are you trying to kill me?"

She laughed and let him struggle to a half-sitting position with her still in his lap. Then she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Force, it's good to see you."

Qui-Gon put his arms around her waist and held on just as tightly. "I missed you, Seda," he whispered into her ear and she nodded against his shoulder in silent acknowledgement.

Qui-Gon blinked back tears and buried his face in her shoulder. Gods, how he'd missed all of this, this place, his friends, everything. He tried not to think about how soon he'd have to give all of it up again. Probably when the Queen returned to Naboo. Assuming the Council would allow Obi-Wan to take him along.

They'd talked about it briefly, Obi-Wan telling him he would go to the Council and petition for them to have Anakin trained and to allow Qui-Gon to accompany the team to Naboo. With Yoda's support, Obi-Wan had been optimistic of his success.

Queen Amidala had already met with Senator Palpatine of Naboo and would address the Senate about the trade blockade shortly.

Qui-Gon squeezed Seda more tightly. He didn't want to let go again; he felt it would be even harder this time around. No. He would not let the future mar his enjoyment of the reunion. Live in the moment.

He drew back and smiled at her. "You look so good, Solo."

She smiled back, softly. "You look very tired, Qui-Gon."

"I am, believe me, I am," he said quietly.

"If Padawan Solo can spare you for a moment, Padawan..."

Qui-Gon looked up, his smile back in full force. "Master!" He extricated himself from Seda's grip, jumped up and was immediately enveloped in a crushing hug, which he returned with enthusiasm. "Padawan, I've missed you," Windu said when he finally released Qui- Gon so the younger man could breathe.

"I've missed you too, Master."

"Come with me and tell me how it goes with you. The Council session begins in little under an hour, so we won't have much time."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Just a second, Master."

He went over to Tahl, who had watched the whole exchange with sadness, and waved Seda over. "Tahl, you remember Seda, from the wedding on Gerona?"

Tahl nodded. "Yes. It is good to see you again, Seda."

Seda smiled. "It's good to see you again too, but what are you doing here?"

Qui-Gon grimaced. He didn't have the time or the will to explain who exactly Tahl was to Seda, so he just stuck with the minimum of truth. "We met again on Tatooine and she was kind enough to let me stay with her. We were both accidentally caught up in Obi-Wan's mission." He paused and looked at the waiting group of Jedi, consisting of Masters Yoda and Windu, Obi-Wan and Anakin, who clung to Obi-Wan's robes like the frightened child he was. "Listen, Seda, I'm going with them to talk to my Master until the Council session begins. Can you take Tahl down to the Padawan Lounge and I'll meet you there later?"

Seda nodded. "Sure, no problem. Come along."

She strolled away, and Tahl followed with a last uncertain glance back at him. He gave her an encouraging smile, then turned back to the other group, walking over to Obi-Wan. "They weren't surprised to see me."

Obi-Wan smiled. "I called the Temple in advance and told them you'd accompany me."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said softly and they shared a long look. They had a lot to talk about, but now was not the time, and Qui-Gon wrenched his attention away from the blue-green eyes to concentrate on catching up with his Master.

Later. He promised himself that. Later they would have time. Not enough, not nearly enough, but it would have to do.

The waiting room to the Council Chamber was as cold and impersonal as ever, and standing there in front of the double-winged doors once again with Qui-Gon reminded Obi-Wan of the last time he and Qui-Gon had waited to be called inside. Qui-Gon apparently caught his train of thoughts, because he smiled ruefully, then reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. The warmth of the touch seeped through him and he wanted to lean into it, lean into all of Qui-Gon, let himself be drawn into a tight embrace and rest his head on the taller man's shoulder.

"The last time I went in there, I didn't see you again for a year," he finally said, not daring to look at Qui-Gon, who emanated calm and serenity, two emotions Obi-Wan momentarily lacked. His heart was beating too fast and he was nervous, nervous the Council would squash his petitions.

"This time I will be here when you come out of the meeting," Qui-Gon promised.

He glanced at Qui-Gon, who had started to rub a thumb over the fabric of his tunic where his hand rested on his shoulder. The touch was intimate and soothing, and Obi-Wan felt himself relax the tiniest bit. True. This time, Qui-Gon would be here when he came out of the meeting, but for how long? How long until Qui-Gon and Tahl would return to Tatooine?

"You remember our room?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, seeing the room in his mind's eyes. So much happiness, love and hope had been lived in this room, the emotions practically stored in those four walls.

"How could I forget?" His voice was barely audible and held a mixture of emotions that battled for supremacy. He didn't allow the hope he felt to override his anxiety, though.

"I'll be there. Tonight. I'm not going anywhere else."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, the joy he should have felt squashed by his nervousness about the Council's decisions, a fear he didn't want to give voice to right now.

"It may take long, but I'll come."

Qui-Gon smiled, a smile so true that it warmed Obi-Wan's heart. "I know you will."

A last squeeze to his shoulder, then Qui-Gon drew his hand back. The approaching sound of Yoda's gimer stick hitting the floor brought them apart several more steps. Obi-Wan hadn't realised that they had been standing that close.

"Padawan, into the Council Chamber we're summoned."

Obi-Wan turned to the small Jedi Master, who was suddenly standing next to him, whacking his gimer stick against his leg, like he always did when he wanted his Padawan's undivided attention.

He smiled at Qui-Gon, who gave him a reassuring thumbs-up, then followed his Master, who was leading the way.

The Council always intimidated him and now that he had two petitions to bring in front of the honoured 12 members, even more so. He tried to hide his anxiety as best as he could, then bowed deeply, showing his respect for the elders. While he listened to his Master reporting on the mission's state, he prepared himself inwardly for the fight for Anakin and Qui-Gon.

20 minutes later Obi-Wan was sitting in the waiting room again, staring at the blank wall in front of him. The Council had retired for a closed meeting, and he had been bidden to wait until their final decision, once again sitting in the much hated waiting room, oblivious to the decisions the Council would make. He had settled into a calming meditation earlier, but it hadn't helped and so he waited, his thoughts straying to Qui-Gon and the night that lay ahead of them.

The last night he had spent with his lover lay a year back. A year in which he had longed to see him again, to be able to touch him, to fall asleep by his side. Now it looked like his waiting was over, but he admitted to himself that he was nervous, nervous like a virgin about to lose his innocence. He didn't know what would transpire between them, didn't know if Qui-Gon was still thinking about the man Obi-Wan had slept with during Qui-Gon's absence. So much had happened in the last day and he was starting to pay the price. He felt the exhaustion bone-deep, an exhaustion that resulted from the excitement of seeing Qui-Gon again, of meeting the boy, of the encounter with the Dark creature, of learning that Tahl was Qui-Gon's soul mate, of having to leave Qui-Gon again... The excitement wasn't over yet, not over until the Council decided about Anakin's fate.

Whatever the Council decided about Qui-Gon, he hoped they wouldn't send him back to Tatooine tomorrow. He couldn't stand the thought of losing him again, albeit he knew it was only a matter of time. Still, he wanted that time to be more than just a night. Knowing that he battled for every second, cursing the fact that he had to spend the precious time he could be spending with Qui-Gon in front of the Council chamber, he sighed deeply.

And Anakin. If the Council decided that Anakin wasn't to be trained, what would he do? Had he ruined the boy's life by taking him away from his mother? Would he have to send Anakin back to Tatooine as well? The thought made him sick, and he squashed it immediately. The Council had to see the boy's potential. Yes, he was too old to be an initiate, but he was strong in the Force and with a lot of training, he would be ready for an apprenticeship in due time. Obi-Wan had never thought he would take on a Padawan learner so soon, but he knew he needed to train Anakin. His knighthood wasn't far away and once he'd received the rank of a Jedi Knight, he would be free to take on an apprentice and he wanted this apprentice to be Anakin Skywalker.

His thoughts were interrupted by two people entering the waiting room, an older, wrinkled woman, one of the crèche Masters, and the boy he had been thinking about. As soon as he saw Obi-Wan, Anakin came flying towards him, almost throwing himself into his arms.

"They want to see me," he whispered, hiding his face in Obi-Wan's sleeve, his small hands digging into the fabric of his robes.

"It will be all right, Anakin, I promise. They just want to talk to you..." he tried to calm both the boy and his own raging nerves. Stroking his hand through Anakin's soft hair, he held the frightened child to him. "You don't have to be afraid, Anakin. Everything will be all right. Now sit down here..."

He slowly extricated the boy from his arms and indicated him to settle with him on the hard floor. Facing the boy, he pulled his legs under his body and rested his hands on his knees.

"Close your eyes. Now tell me what you feel."

Anakin did as he was told, mimicking his own position and pressing his eyelids shut.

"I'm afraid... afraid they don't allow me to become a Jedi... everything is sooo...", the boy struggled for words, then winced, his lashes fluttering open again, eyes wide and huge.

Obi-Wan gave him a reassuring smile. "Close your eyes again, Ani. Try to see past your fear. Do you see something there?"

The boy hesitated, then slowly nodded, not opening his eyes. Obi-Wan smiled, contentedly. "Reach for it," he instructed. "Concentrate on it."

He could feel Anakin's clumsy, insecure attempt to reach out to the Force that swirled in strong patterns around them and he reached out for it as well, trying to help Anakin in his first exploration. He could feel the change in the boy, his features relaxing a bit.

"That's it, Ani. Take your fear, let it run through you... Feel it."

Anakin shuddered, his face contorting in a grimace of fear again.

"Now... release it. Let go of it. Slowly..."

He could almost feel Anakin struggling and he winced in sympathy. He couldn't remember how often he had used this exercise to release his fear into the Force, but it had always been painful. You had to face your fears and know them, before you were able to release them.

Anakin let out a shaky breath, his face indicating his concentration. Obi-Wan was pleased. The boy had a natural ability to access the Force.

"Better?" he asked and Anakin opened his eyes, puffing out another breath of air, smiling a bit.

"Yes," the boy said, a small look of wonder on his face.

"It will be easier in the future, Anakin, but you've done well. Use this exercise whenever you feel fear, or anger," he instructed with a small smile.

Anakin nodded, grinning back at him. His whole manner was much more relaxed and he could feel the change in Anakin's emotions as if they were his own.

"Good. Now go. The Council is waiting for you."

The boy leapt to his feet, suddenly much more energetic and looking much more confident. "Thank you."

"You're welcome...," Obi-Wan whispered as he watched the crèche Master leading Anakin into the Council chamber.

When Qui-Gon entered the Padawan Lounge, his friends were already assembled and on the second bottle of Corellian whisky. Seda, Dun, Bant and Lieth were sitting around a table with a clearly overwhelmed Tahl. She was stuck between Seda and Lieth and had a half-empty glass of whisky before her. Seda was in the middle of telling a story, using elaborate gestures to illustrate her points, and the rest of the Padawans were howling with laughter. Tahl seemed less amused. He groaned. "Solo, I hope you're not spinning tales here!"

She looked up and grinned. "Nothing but the Force's own truth from my lips, Qui-Gon."

The other Padawans all jumped up and greeted him with hugs and slaps on the back and friendly words. In no time, he was sitting next to Seda with a glass of the finest Corellian whisky in front of him.

Seda was obviously already a bit in her cups, for she was in full storyteller mode, relating diverse incidents of Qui-Gon's Padawanhood to Tahl. Since every third word in Seda's tales seemed to be 'Obi- Wan', Tahl was less than amused, though she tried not to show it.

"So of course when they came back from the race on the lower levels, they were covered in that slime from the exhaust vent. They were a sight! Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were carrying Lieth, who wasn't injured or anything, he'd just passed out cold after drinking some strange concoction one of the other drivers gave him after the race," Seda continued the story about how he and Obi-Wan had followed Lieth to an illegal speeder-race in the lower levels of Coruscant. "I met them on their way to Lieth's quarters and I swear to the Force I've never laughed so hard in my life. The expression on Obi-Wan's face alone was worth a fortune."

Dun, Lieth and Bant joined her laughter. "A great night!" Lieth said, winking at Tahl, who smiled, genuinely amused.

Qui-Gon groaned at the memory. "Yeah, great night. We got three weeks detention and had to clean every inch of Master Yoda's office for that. Plus, Obi-Wan inhaled some of that green stuff and was sick half the night. All in all, great night."

Seda grinned. "Oh, don't be such a spoilsport, Qui-Gon. You got detention more often than I got Astrophysics homework."

"Well, yes, but normally, I got detention for something I did myself. That time I got detention because I was carrying Lieth."

Seda grinned. "Remember the time the whole Council Five had to serve detention together?"

Qui-Gon frowned. "Not really."

"Oh, come on. The night shortly before you and Obi-Wan left for that mission where you... you know..."

Qui-Gon blushed to the roots of his hair. He knew what mission Seda referred to.

Seda, oblivious to the fact that Tahl was staring at Qui-Gon oddly, related the event to her and Lieth, who hadn't yet been part of their group at the time. "It was end of the week and the five of us, that is Bant, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Dun and I, were sitting around in the Padawan Lounge. It was quiet and boring, and from somewhere somebody produced a bottle of Tiderian Vodka. Now, I don't know if you ever had Tiderian Vodka," Seda turned to Tahl with the inquiry. On Tahl's negative gesture, she continued, "It's very strong and tastes a bit like the stuff Healers used for disinfecting wounds before there was Bacta. But like I said, we were bored, so we drank. Qui-Gon and I held out rather long, but the others were drunk pretty quickly."

Qui-Gon's eyes widened. Now he remembered the evening Seda was referring to. He also remembered how that evening had ended, and he really didn't want Tahl to hear that. "Isn't that a bit of a boring story?"

"Boring?" Dun snorted. "That was one of the highlights of your days. One can't trade stories about either of you without mentioning that particular one."

"Either of them?" Tahl asked.

"Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan," Seda explained. "Now back to the story. As I was saying, Dun, Bant and Obi-Wan were pretty drunk. Bant fell asleep pretty soon, but Dun and Obi-Wan... well, let's just say, Dun thinks he's brilliant when he's drunk, so he talks a lot and he tends to sing." She smiled fondly at her boyfriend. "And Obi-Wan, well, he gets touchy. So Dun started to sing loudly and off-key - it was three in the morning - and Obi-Wan was suddenly all over Qui-Gon. And you didn't seem to mind all that much." She grinned at Qui-Gon, who looked down at the table, blushing furiously and avoiding Tahl's eyes.

Seda meanwhile, oblivious to Tahl's increasingly hurt expression, continued with her story. "Our two lovebirds didn't have to hide their relationship back then, so they were making out like crazy right there in the Padawan Lounge, to the music of Dun singing Huttese war songs."

Lieth and Dun were laughing, even Qui-Gon couldn't suppress a chuckle at the memory. Tahl joined the merriment with a small artificial laugh that sounded strangled, but the other Padawans were laughing too hard to notice.

Seda continued, panting with merriment, "Unfortunately for us, Master Titulus came by the Padawan Lounge and heard Dun's singing. He came in, found one Padawan passed out on the floor, the second one trying to restrain the third one from climbing the walls in an effort to mimic the action in the Huttese war chant he was howling, and two Padawans rolling around on the floor in the back engaged in what one could only term foreplay. He shouted at us for an explanation, Dun and I stood to attention, but the two lovebirds in the corner didn't even notice he was there until he went over and pulled them apart forcefully." Seda chuckled. "So you see, I'm the only one who didn't have any fun that night."

Bant grinned. "Hey, I didn't have that much fun either. And I missed the make-out show. Are you all right, Tahl? You look a bit pale."

Tahl shook her head. "Perfectly fine, thanks. Must be the whisky."

Seda smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Dun, get her a glass of water."

Qui-Gon met Tahl's eyes for a moment, but flinched back from the cocktail of emotions he saw there. He silently begged for Seda to end the storytelling. She meant well and of course had no idea who Tahl was, but his conscience was burdened enough by Tahl's obvious pain at the whole situation, it didn't have to be made worse by telling her about his and Obi-Wan's make-out sessions back in the happier days.

"Remember the first time I was out with you, the night you started the bar fight?" Lieth asked.

"I didn't start anything," Qui-Gon said, supporting his words with a disclaiming gesture. "It was that mynoc brain Zan who started the whole thing. He called Obi-Wan a slut and insulted Master Rob. I just had to give him a lesson in manners."

Seda rubbed her jaw. "He wasn't the only one who won't forget that night, my jaw still hurts when it's about to snow."

Dun rolled up his sleeve. "I still have a Wookiee bite mark!" He showed the scar to Tahl, proud.

"Qui-Gon himself didn't have a bruise, but we others all looked as if we'd been in a bantha stampede," Seda added.

Qui-Gon smiled wistfully. He remembered that time well. It had been a very difficult phase of his life, he and Obi-Wan had just learned from Yoda that their love was doomed, and they'd had to learn to deal with that, both in their own way.

Lieth sighed. "Good times."

Qui-Gon nodded, amusement gone, replaced by a quiet melancholy. "Indeed. Good times."

Silence fell, and Qui-Gon met Seda's rueful gaze. She was obviously sorry for having brought up the good old times.

Bant cleared her throat and restarted the conversation. "Lieth has your rat, Qui-Gon."

"Squicky! How is he? Can I see him?" Qui-Gon asked, his smile back.

Lieth nodded. "Sure, why don't you come along when I go back?"

"Thanks, I'd like that. By the way, where's Ronwe?" Qui-Gon looked around, suddenly conscious of the Padawan's absence.

Seda cleared her throat, and Qui-Gon felt her elbow dig into his ribs. "He's on a mission."

He understood instantly. Elbow in the ribs was Seda-speak for 'Don't ask.'

Briefly, he thought about the promise he'd given Obi-Wan to meet him later. For now, it was good to catch up with his friends, though.

"So where have you been this past year, Qui-Gon?" Dun asked as he poured everyone another glass of whisky.

"Tatooine," Qui-Gon replied and took a sip of his whisky.

"What the Sith does one do on Tatooine?" Dun sounded genuinely puzzled.

Qui-Gon chuckled, but he sobered when he met Tahl's eyes. "Moisture farming, mostly."

"Moisture farming? That word alone awakens some childhood nightmares. Hello, AgriCorps." Dun shuddered.

Seda shrugged. "Well, I'm sure it's not as boring as it sounds?" She looked at Qui-Gon questioningly.

Qui-Gon shifted in his chair, uncomfortable. "It's a living. Watching things grow is kind of satisfying, but it's not the high wire life."

"And thank the gods for that," Tahl muttered.

Deciding it was high time to get out of there before Seda and Dun could start arguing with Tahl, he nodded at Lieth. "Can I see Squicky now?"

"Sure. Let's go."

Qui-Gon turned to the other Padawans. "I don't know how long I'll be able to stay, but I hope I'll see all of you around. Tahl, if you want to come with me, I'll show you to some guest quarters."

She rose with a grateful smile. "Thanks. It's been a long day. Good night everybody."

Qui-Gon said his own good nights, kissing Seda and Bant on the cheek and slapping Dun's shoulder, then he turned and preceded the two others out of the room.

"Where will you sleep?" Tahl asked.

Qui-Gon hid a smile. "Don't worry about me, I'm home now."

He didn't see her wince.

The sun had set some hours ago and the Jedi Temple was going to bed. Most Jedi were already in their quarters, only few made their ways home from mission briefings, the cafeteria or the training halls, so Qui-Gon met only a handful of people on his way through the dimly lit Temple corridors. He was so tired his feet seemed to move of their own accord. He'd seen Squicky and deposited Tahl in the guest wing, now there was only one thing he had to do. Elevator, third level, Knights' Quarters. Along the corridor, left, right, left again. Door.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes briefly and laid his palm against the door. He could almost feel the room calling to him from the other side of the sturdy metal door. Open and let in. The good, the bad, the pain and the joy. He took a deep breath and stepped inside. The Force in the room practically leapt at him in recognition of his signature, filling him with a multitude of impressions, sights and sounds and smells and feelings he all recognised as being the essence of what he and Obi- Wan had been together, an essence of the 'us' they had been.

He dropped to his knees and let the feeling wash through him, let every impression find a memory to match. Countless moments of laughter and passion and love, so much love that he could almost breathe it in the air that still sang with their joined presence. And underneath all that, there was still the pain, the anger, the despair of the last time they'd used this room. The candles were gone. The sheets were new, their personal effects gone, but the memory remained. Hope, love, joyful anticipation, before everything had crashed down around them and left them shattered and alone.

He breathed deeply, trying to expel the memories with the air from his lungs. It hurt just as much as it had the day it had happened, even more now, because then he'd had the hope that all would be well in time, and he couldn't honestly say that he held the same hope now. Wiping at his eyes, he chided himself to get a grip. He only had very little time here, and he wouldn't waste any more of it dwelling on pain and hurt and guilt. Or jealousy. He resolved to do as he'd always preached and to live in the moment, and dwell on the past only as far as it gave him joy.

Qui-Gon took the few steps to the bed and sat down on it. The mattress creaked under him and he smiled. How often had he wondered when the noises that thing made would betray them, how often had he surmised that the mattress would be their undoing. He snorted. If only.

Letting his eyes and his mind wander, he bounced off the mattress a few times, the creaking turning into a familiar music, one that made him smile. The smile widened when his gaze fell upon a green spot on the wall.

The cleaning droids had missed a spot, he mused as he stretched out his hand and put his palm against the green handprint. Alderaanian wine was difficult to clean, apparently. He closed his eyes and let the memory flow through him. A good one, definitely. A wonderful memory. Laughter. Passion. Warmth. Fuzziness of alcohol. Complete comfort, just being with each other, being childish and stupid together. Playing together. He couldn't even remember whose handprint it was, and the colour was too washed-out to tell. But what did it matter anyway? It was enough that the handprint was still there, that something of them had remained here, where they had shared each other so completely.

Qui-Gon sighed and lay back on the bed. The sheets were different, but they hadn't changed the mattress. The bed still felt very much like them. They'd slept here so often, it was easy for Qui-Gon to just close his eyes and pretend that strong arms were holding him against a warm body, that his head rested against a muscled chest, that slender fingers were running through his hair, that he was safe and loved, that he was, for the heart that beat under his ear, the most important and precious person in the galaxy.

A tear slipped down Qui-Gon's cheek just as his consciousness slipped into sleep.

Surprisingly, the Council had agreed to his petitions and still Obi- Wan couldn't believe his luck. Anakin would be admitted to the crèche and trained like the other initiates until it was time for him to become a Jedi Padawan.

The Council had also agreed to allow Qui-Gon to accompany them back to Naboo, if only for that mission. After the mission was completed, Qui-Gon would be released from his duty once again, free to do what he decided was best for him. Obi-Wan still wondered at how easy it had been to persuade the Council of the importance of Qui-Gon's help in this mission, but then again, he had never before seen the Council so anxious. The Council members had been visibly shaken by the fact that a Dark Force user was somewhere out there, and that he dared to confront the Jedi so openly.

It had been Ki-Adi Mundi who had disputed Master Yoda's belief that the unknown attacker had been a Sith Lord, claiming the Sith had been extinct for a millennium. Shocked that they hadn't seen this one coming, they had agreed that Qui-Gon should stay with them to protect Queen Amidala when she chose to return to Naboo.

Night had advanced while he was still in the Council chamber and now he made his way through the empty corridors of the Temple, his heart much lighter than before, looking forward to seeing Qui-Gon. Despite being awfully tired, the excitement of the last days taking its toll on him, he was eager to see Qui-Gon and for the first time in ages he had the feeling that the Force was truly with him and not working against him.

As he walked the familiar path to their hideout, he couldn't help but remember all the times he had snuck to their secret place, and vividly he experienced the same feeling he'd always had when he was on his way to their room. Eagerness, anticipation, warmth, joy. His heart was beating loudly in his chest, his feet seemed to levitate several inches above the ground. He still couldn't believe that he was going to meet Qui-Gon, that he had been given another chance. Pushing all unfortunate thoughts away, he concentrated on the joy of their reunion, reminding himself to live in the moment, in the now.

He hesitated before he placed his palm across the control panel that would give him access to the room. With a grin he remembered how he had persuaded Padawan Linn, now a Knight, who had worked in the Temple Administration, to give them a registration code. He had never been able to truly thank him for his help.

The door clicked open and he entered, brushing off all his fear and bad feelings, leaving them outside. Here there was only Qui-Gon and him.

The room was dark and quiet, and for a moment he feared that Qui-Gon had abandoned him, but then the sound of soft snoring came from the direction of the bed, and he suppressed a chuckle. Forcing his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he made his way over to the bed and looked down at Qui-Gon's sleeping form.

His lover had his head buried in the pillow, his shoulder length hair hiding his features from view, his soft breathing steady and somewhat soothing. Slowly, Obi-Wan kicked off his boots, determined to make as little noise as possible. He didn't want to wake Qui-Gon from his peaceful sleep.

He shrugged out of his robe, then let it fall to the floor in an untidy heap together with the spare one he had brought for Qui-Gon. He pulled off his tunic, and sat down gently on the edge of the bed. Qui-Gon mumbled in his sleep as the bed shifted under Obi-Wan's weight, but didn't fully awake. For a moment, Obi-Wan was content to simply watch him and the feelings it produced in his heart were full of tenderness. Finally, he lay down, softly nudging Qui-Gon whose lanky, tall form was sprawled across the mattress, not leaving any room for him.

Qui-Gon's breathing changed and suddenly the bed shifted and he was pulled into an embrace, Qui-Gon whispering sleepily into his ear, "How did it go?"

"Well. You'll come with us," Obi-Wan answered, snuggling closer to the warm body in front of him. He had forgotten how good it felt and he let the warmth flow through him, basking in the comfort Qui-Gon's arms offered.

"And the boy?"

"Will be trained."

Qui-Gon sighed, a sound of contentment and relief, then a soft kiss was placed next to his ear. "I'm sorry I fell asleep waiting for you."

"Sleepyhead," Obi-Wan chuckled, then continued more soberly, "It certainly took long."

Qui-Gon buried his face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent, his short beard tickling Obi-Wan's skin. "Mhmmm... as long as you don't forget about me waiting here... and as long as you smell so good..."

Obi-Wan slid his arm around Qui-Gon's waist, hugging him close. "Never. I'll never forget about you."

"Then it's good," Qui-Gon murmured, his voice slurred by fatigue.

Obi-Wan pressed a soft kiss to Qui-Gon's lips, enjoying the small, tender intimacy between them. It was almost as if the year they'd been separated had never happened and for a moment, he allowed himself to believe it. The kiss was returned softly, tenderly.

"Sleep now, Qui-Gon."

"Mhmmm..." Qui-Gon murmured, then inhaled deeply again, drawing him even closer. Obi-Wan rested his hand on Qui-Gon's hair, stroking it slowly. Everything he wanted was here in his arms and he silently begged the Force that whatever it held in store for them, it would take care of Qui-Gon and watch over him, just as he wasn't allowed to do.

The sun had not quite risen when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stepped out onto the landing platform where they would meet Masters Yoda and Windu, Seda, Anakin and Tahl and where the Queen's ship would pick them up for the journey back to Naboo.

Queen Amidala had decided spontaneously to return to Naboo immediately and not wait for the Senate to decide her motion. Naboo's Senator Palpatine would stay and represent Naboo's interests in the Senate, but Amidala had insisted against the recommendation of the Jedi to return to Naboo. It had been a matter of course for the Jedi to give her the help she had requested, and so Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been woken an hour ago and told to be at the landing platform at dawn.

Qui-Gon stifled a yawn. He hadn't slept this well in over a year, a fact he attributed entirely to how good sleeping entangled in Obi- Wan's arms and legs felt, but the night had been cut short not only by the Council order, but a little before the call had come in, Obi- Wan had woken screaming, shivering from an obviously awful nightmare and had clung to Qui-Gon like a drowning man. They hadn't had time to talk about the nightmare, for when Obi-Wan had calmed enough to speak, the Council orders had summoned them back to work.

The morning air and the high altitude winds chilled Qui-Gon, chasing away the last clinging remnants of sleep. His focus sharpened and he flashed Obi-Wan, who walked beside him, shoulders brushing, an encouraging smile.

Masters Yoda and Windu were deep in conversation, as were Tahl and Seda. Anakin was the first to notice them and immediately ran up to Obi-Wan, practically throwing himself into the shelter of Obi-Wan's robes.

"Please don't leave me here! Take me with you!"

Obi-Wan crouched down and smiled at the almost crying child. "I can't take you with me, Ani. I'm going on a very difficult mission. It's far too dangerous for you there. You could be killed and I would never forgive myself that!"

Anakin's face unclouded a bit. "But you will come back?"

Obi-Wan gave the child a hug and Qui-Gon deemed it appropriate to withdraw. He joined Seda and Tahl. The other Padawan greeted him with a nod, but Tahl stared at him, obviously put out. "Why do we have to go along on this mission? It's Jedi business and doesn't concern us in the least."

Seda cleared her throat. "Why don't I see what Obi-Wan and Anakin are talking about?" she said and extricated herself from their immediate vicinity.

Qui-Gon sighed. Thanks a lot, Solo, he thought. Aloud, he said, "In all probability, they will meet the Sith again. I'm the only one who has fought with that thing before, so they are more likely to succeed on this mission with me there. They need my help. I cannot abandon them."

Tahl scowled. "Them. You mean him. You don't care about this mission, you just want to help Obi-Wan. You're risking your life because of him, not for the Jedi."

"Of course I want to help Obi-Wan especially, but I would have done the same thing for any other Jedi. That the Jedi on this mission is Obi-Wan is incidental."

"Incidental!" Tahl scoffed. "Don't be such a damned hypocrite! You're dragging us across the galaxy to fight a war that doesn't concern us not because of any noble sentiment, but because you want to spend a few more days with your lover. You don't care two datares about the danger you put yourself in, or me."

"You're welcome to stay at the Temple and await my return," Qui-Gon ground out from between clenched teeth. He called on the Force to calm his irritation.

"Not in this life, Qui-Gon Jinn. I'll go where you go. Our relationship might mean nothing to you, but I know that my place is at my soul mate's side. Contrary to you, I don't choose anyone over my future soul bonded."

"Choice! I never had any fucking choice! Do you think that if I had a choice, either of us would be in this dammed mess?" Qui-Gon's raised voice resounded loudly on the platform, but the assembled Jedi were too well trained to stare. Still, Qui-Gon could feel their focus shift and lowered his voice, releasing another burst of anger into the Force with a deep calming breath. "Look, I know this can't be pleasant for you, and believe me, I didn't plan to drag you into this. I can understand why you want to come with us, but I think you should reconsider."

Her only reply was an icy stare, so Qui-Gon sighed and said, "Have it your way."

Tahl dropped her eyes and he could see her lower lip tremble slightly. "I can't let you go with him alone. I feel that if you go now, you'll just disappear into your Jedi life again and I'll never see you again. I know that you'd probably prefer it to happen like that..."

Qui-Gon swallowed and exchanged a glance with an obviously concerned Obi-Wan across the width of the platform. Sighing, he shook his head at Obi-Wan's inquiring gaze, a silent plea to stay out of this. Disappearing back into his Jedi life did seem very tempting, but he knew it to be impossible. "I... in a few days, this will be over. Obi- Wan will go back to Coruscant and you and I will return to Tatooine. Is it so hard to understand that I want to have this last taste of my old life, even if it's only for a little while?"

Tahl lifted her eyes and looked at him. "I do understand. I just wish you didn't want this. But you're right; it is only for a few days. You will return to Tatooine with me when this is finished," she said, her tone and eyes making the last statement sound like a question.

He nodded. "Yes." Qui-Gon's throat was tight and his heart ached, but it didn't show in his face or his voice.

Tahl smiled slightly and pointed at the waiting Jedi. "They're waiting for us."

Qui-Gon nodded and turned back to the group of people he considered his family. Tahl trailing after him, he went over to the other Jedi.

Master Windu hugged him tightly, and Qui-Gon returned the embrace just as strongly. "You might need this, Padawan. This is not the time for protocol," the Master said and put something in Qui-Gon's hand. Something cold, metal, cylindrical.

"Master..." Qui-Gon's voice was an awed whisper. Windu had kept his sabre in top condition, it gleamed and looked well-maintained. "Thank you."

Windu put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Promise me to call more often?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "I'll try."

"There is no..."

"Try, I know Master. I will call more often."

The Master smiled his warmest smile. "Good."

Qui-Gon turned to Seda and they embraced. "Sorry I couldn't stay longer. I'll write to you, okay?"

Seda rested her forehead on his shoulder. "Just take care of yourself. Remember that we all love you."

They broke apart when they heard the Queen's transport approach. Windu motioned for Seda to precede him inside. She turned to Qui-Gon and lay a hand on his shoulder. "Force be with you, Qui-Gon Jinn. Don't forget me, okay?"

"Never, Seda. Force be with you as well."

Windu nodded at Qui-Gon, sending a wave of strength over their faded training bond. "Force be with you, Padawan."

"And with you, Master. I thank you."

They bowed to each other, deeply. Qui-Gon hid his hands in the Jedi robe Obi-Wan had brought for him last night and turned around to board the transport behind the others of the group. He stopped by Obi- Wan and Anakin and held out a hand. "Be well, Anakin, and may the Force be with you. Look in on Obi-Wan for me from time to time, okay?"

Anakin nodded. "I will. May the Force be with you, Qui-Gon. Thank you."

Qui-Gon ruffled through the boy's blonde hair and motioned for Obi- Wan to precede him into the transport, which he did with a smile.

Qui-Gon was the last to board the ship. Before his feet touched the ramp, he looked back once more at the Jedi Temple, gleaming in the light of the newly risen sun, at Seda and his Master, standing there wrapped in Jedi calm, their robes fluttering in the high altitude winds. He raised his hand in a last farewell, turned and boarded without turning back.

Obi-Wan waited at the top of the ramp. He smiled at Qui-Gon. "Now it's two days in hyperspace. Hopefully we can keep Jar Jar from breaking any of the maintenance droids."

Qui-Gon smiled. Two days in hyperspace. Much could happen in two days. Still smiling, he went to his allotted cabin to store away his things. Oh yes, a lot of things could happen in two days.

Walking along the corridor of the crew's quarters Obi-Wan reminisced about the recent meeting with Master Yoda. One of the topics had been his disturbing nightmare from last night. He was torn from his reverie when he noticed that the door to Qui-Gon's quarters was standing slightly ajar. It would have been polite to knock, but one look inside and Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to lift his hand anymore, staring awestruck. He had forgotten how he had missed seeing Qui-Gon doing casual things, like going trough a simple stretching exercise. His feet carried him closer, over the threshold, out of their own volition.

Qui-Gon was standing in the small place between the bed and the cupboard, his hands raised towards the ceiling, shifting from one foot to the other, stretching his back, then relaxing the muscles and then exerting them again. The shift of his muscles under the thin fabric of his tunic was drawing all of Obi-Wan's attention and he looked his fill, enjoying the clearly visible outline of Qui-Gon's body under it, revelling in the knowledge of how this body looked under the clothes. A surge of heat shot straight to his groin, so fast it almost made him dizzy. Obi-Wan briefly closed his eyes, allowing himself to absorb the image into his mind, filing it away for further contemplation. It was those images he would feast upon during their upcoming time apart.

When he opened his eyes again, Qui-Gon had turned around and was looking at him, a lopsided smile on his face.

He blushed, feeling suddenly caught in his silent admiration and hurried to say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude, I was just walking by and..."

Qui-Gon chuckled, then took a step towards him, one hand brushing a strand of hair from his face, the other resting lightly on his hip. "You don't need to apologise. You know you're welcome."

Obi-Wan swallowed, trying to find something to say that didn't give away the emotions he felt rising in his body. Love, need, want, tenderness, passion.

"I was just about to leave..."

The moment he had said the words out loud, he knew they were wrong, oh so wrong, but he didn't dare take them back in fear of what would happen if he stayed. He turned around, feeling the need to flee before he did something irresponsible, before he allowed himself to give into temptation and do the first thing that came to mind.

His way was suddenly blocked, a tall body shoving itself between Obi- Wan and the door, hindering his leaving. Qui-Gon was so close, he could feel the warmth radiating off him. He caught a whiff of the musky cinnamon smell of Qui-Gon's body, a smell he had learned to associate with the feeling of comfort and sexual aftermath. His eyes travelled upwards over that broad chest, and despite his fear to look Qui-Gon in the eyes, knowing what he would find there would unsettle him even more, he did.

Dark blue, a colour like the night sky. Obi-Wan knew it was futile to resist drowning in those eyes, they had never failed to have an effect on him. People said that eyes were the windows of the soul and looking into Qui-Gon's, he saw his own emotions reflected there with the same passion, the same longing, the same fear.

"Don't leave," Qui-Gon whispered.

The same words, spoken years ago in a bar in the lower levels of Coruscant. The same expression in Qui-Gon's eyes, only he hadn't known how to read Qui-Gon's eyes back then.

"You didn't give me a reason to stay." He knew he was referring to the last time, and he knew Qui-Gon would know.

"I have a reason now." Softly, but determined. With an audible click, Qui-Gon pushed the door shut, then leaned in until his face was merely inches away from his. "You love me."

"I do." Lips that were tantalisingly close, then a warm brush of air as Qui-Gon exhaled audibly. A sigh escaped Obi-Wan and unconsciously he wetted his lips, anticipating the inevitable. They had come to this place, to this time, despite all external forces, despite prophecies and fateful intervention, to reclaim their love. He didn't know if this was a second chance, didn't know if this would be the last time they were allowed another intimate moment before the Fates threw them back onto their destined path. This was now, and they were both here, and not allowing themselves to indulge in what they had if even for a moment was unthinkable.

Then Qui-Gon's lips were on his and every last resentment he might have had was swept away in the rightness that he felt. A slow lick to his lips, a soft nip on his bottom lip, then the kiss deepened, getting more intense, consuming him whole. Arms slid around him, crushed him to Qui-Gon's hard chest and he groaned at the contact, opening his mouth to welcome a probing tongue. He found himself lifted, backed up against the closed door, held there by the strength of Qui-Gon's body against his own, Qui-Gon's knee sliding in-between his legs, rubbing against his groin sensually.

The need exploded in him, raw, powerful need and he fisted his hands into Qui-Gon's tunics, holding onto him as Qui-Gon broke the kiss to trail his tongue down his jaw, biting and licking and sucking. Eager hands ripped at his tunics, tore them open at the front, revealing his feverish skin to the cool air. More urgently now the hands delved inside the folds of his shirt, pushing it away and apart, finding his skin there, finding and claiming it. He shuddered at the touch, blindly returning the groping, needing to feel more, to feel sweaty, smooth skin under his hands. A large hand cupped his testicles through the fabric, squeezing, feeling. Obi-Wan groaned, the inarticulate groan turning into a name.

"I missed hearing you say my name like that..." Qui-Gon murmured into his ear huskily.

He did it again, and again, while Qui-Gon efficiently stripped away his trousers. The hands were everywhere, everywhere Obi-Wan had missed them for so long and he clawed at Qui-Gon's waistband until his lover chuckled and helped him with the offending garment. When Qui-Gon's body was back against his, their erections brushing together, sliding along each other, they both let out a hiss. Lifting his legs, Obi-Wan placed them around Qui-Gon's rocking hips, letting his feet slide down until he anchored them behind the other man's thighs.

"I want you..." breathed against Obi-Wan's lips between little puffs of air.

"Force, I missed this," he answered breathlessly.

A low chuckle against his throat, the vibration travelling over his sensitive skin. "Me too."

He slid his arms from Qui-Gon's shoulders around his neck, grinding his cock into Qui-Gon, their combined juices painting streaks of wetness on their stomachs. "Please... Quiggs.... can't wait..."

Qui-Gon drew back a little, studying him intently. "I don't have anyth..."

"Now," Obi-Wan insisted, accentuating his words with a push of his hips.

Qui-Gon didn't hesitate a second time. He spat into his hands and slicked himself, then put his hands under Obi-Wan's buttocks, lifting him, placing his cock against the tight ring between Obi-Wan's buttocks.

When Qui-Gon looked up, Obi-Wan was staring back with a look of intense concentration. Slowly, Obi-Wan pressed himself down, his eyes never leaving Qui-Gon's.

He didn't remember it feeling this good when he slid his body slowly down onto Qui-Gon's length, but his body definitely remembered, adjusting easily and willingly, despite the lack of preparation. Slowly he sank down, until Qui-Gon was fully sheathed in him. They both let out a low groan, staying absolutely still, their breaths mingling in the air between them.

"So good," Qui-Gon gasped and Obi-Wan couldn't do anything but nod, completely overwhelmed by the physical connection and by the welcomed feeling of fullness. Then Qui-Gon thrust upwards, the power of his shove pressing Obi-Wan back and up against the wall, the impact ripping the air from his lungs. Holding onto Qui-Gon's shoulders for leverage, he thrust back down, clenching his muscles around Qui-Gon's cock, refusing to let him go. More forceful thrusts, picking up in speed and he clung to Qui-Gon desperately, groans and fragments of sentences spilling from his lips as he gave voice to the pleasure that built in him. He closed his eyes, letting himself be manipulated and pushed, enjoying the feeling of being possessed and taken.

He didn't realise that he had been cursing, until Qui-Gon chuckled- groaned into his ear, a breathless stream of assorted words of encouragement, pleas and affirmations.

"Ben, open your eyes... look at me. I want you to look at me when you come..."

He obliged, his overheated brain briefly taking in the flushed face and half-open mouth in front of him, the burning of desire in the blue eyes taking him over the edge and he came with a shout, spilling his seed between their sticky bodies. The impact of his orgasm sent his head back and he knocked his skull at the door, the pain not registering in the intense shock of pleasure ripping through him. A shudder went through the large body keeping him locked against the wall and for a moment he feared they would tumble down into a pile of sweaty limbs on the floor.

A mouth sealed over his, swallowing the last of his moans and the flavour of spent passion in their mixing saliva tasted sweeter than the sweetest fruit he had ever eaten.

Qui-Gon was still holding him, supporting his weight with his hands under his buttocks, but he felt Qui-Gon's muscles trembling and slowly, he drew back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Qui- Gon's, panting harshly.

"Force...," Qui-Gon whispered, then carefully readjusted his sweaty grip on Obi-Wan's buttocks. "Hold on."

He did as he had been told and Qui-Gon staggered backwards, tumbling them down onto the bed where they fell onto the covers in a heap. Obi- Wan rested his head on Qui-Gon's heaving chest, listening to the fast heartbeats, a powerful feeling of tenderness and love slowly drowning out the last waves of passion.

Qui-Gon was the first to speak and when he did so, his voice was shaky and his words interrupted by little pants. "Was it always... that good?"

Obi-Wan raised his head from where it was pillowed on Qui-Gon's chest, smiling. "Yes. And even better."

"Better is going to kill me."

They both laughed a bit breathlessly, then an arm came around Obi- Wan's waist, Qui-Gon's fingers tracing soft circles on his lower back.

"I don't want to leave ever again. I wish we could stay like this forever... Just you and me, in this moment."

Obi-Wan's words were soft, but a whisper, almost swallowed by Qui- Gon's chest. "We could pretend."

Obi-Wan looked up, seeing Qui-Gon watching him with an expression somewhere between amusement and seriousness. "Lock the door. If this is forever, let's make the best of the time we have," Obi-Wan suggested.

At Qui-Gon's slow nod, he pushed himself up, sliding upwards until he was face to face with Qui-Gon. He placed his hands around Qui-Gon's face, smoothing the hair away, his thumbs stroking over Qui-Gon's temples.

"Your hair is so long," he mused quietly. "Almost as long as on the day I first saw you."

"I can't remember what made me reject you. If I had known that we had but this little time, I wouldn't have hesitated a second."

Obi-Wan smiled, placing a soft wet kiss on Qui-Gon's parted lips. "I don't regret one moment spent with you."

A grin stole on Qui-Gon's face. "You better not, brat!"

The fingers that had been tracing circles onto Obi-Wan's back slipped upwards under his tunic along his spine, until they reached his neck where they continued to draw their lazy circles.

Obi-Wan answered the smile, then placed a finger on Qui-Gon's mouth, rubbing along the smooth lips softly. "I'll never regret anything. But now... I want to have every part of you, touch every little patch of skin, taste all you have to offer so I can remember it. It will be even more precious knowing I can't have all this forever."

His finger was carefully nibbled at, then Qui-Gon traced his tongue over his fingertip. "Have me."

Leaning down, the only thing Obi-Wan said before his lips found Qui- Gon's was "Yes."

It was hours later and the stillness around them was absolute. Even in the endless void of space, there was night, and Qui-Gon could tell that the hour was late. Everyone on the quiet ship was asleep except the two of them, and even they were too exhausted to do anything but lie on the bed and listen to each other's breathing.

They were both sticky everywhere, with sweat and semen, and Qui-Gon wondered if he'd stick to the sheet he was sprawled on, stomach first. Maybe Obi-Wan's skin and his would melt together where they touched along the right side of his body where Obi-Wan had collapsed after they had sex the last time. He sort of hoped it would. He'd lost track of how many times they'd had sex, or who had done what to whom, he only knew he hadn't felt this alive, this whole, this good in over a year. Or this exhausted.

"I'm dead," he heard Obi-Wan whisper from where his head was pillowed on Qui-Gon's shoulder blade. Slender fingers were tracing along Qui- Gon's back down to the three letters at the base of his spine. Obi- Wan was fascinated by these letters, Qui-Gon had noticed over the last hours, devoting ardent attention to the sensitive skin, much to Qui-Gon's very vocal enjoyment. He slid down Qui-Gon's body and kissed each of the letters reverently. "I've died and joined the Force and it lets me live my favourite fantasy. That's the only explanation." Obi-Wan's voice was barely audible, a slight whiff of air on Qui-Gon's sweat-damp back.

Obi-Wan moved up his back again and a kiss was pressed to his shoulder blade. Qui-Gon turned his head to look at his lover, hair tousled and damp with sweat, lips swollen from kissing, love bites scattered all over his body, eyes glowing in the dim light. Qui-Gon blinked. "I think I've died as well."

Obi-Wan reached up and traced Qui-Gon's face, letting his other hand rest over the tattoo. He smiled slightly, his blue-green eyes warm. "When I am from you, I am dead till I am with you..."

Qui-Gon smiled and turned so he could see Obi-Wan, letting Obi-Wan's body slip to the mattress. He hooked one leg over Obi-Wan's and propped himself up on one elbow. "When did you turn into a poet?"

"I'm not a poet. That's just how I felt while we were apart..." Obi- Wan's eyes met his and the smile died on Qui-Gon's lips. His lover's eyes looked sad, lost.

Qui-Gon leaned down and pressed his forehead against Obi-Wan's chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry for not saying goodbye, for being so stubborn, for not taking your concerns seriously for years."

Obi-Wan's hands were in his hair and his head was lifted so he was looking up at his lover's eyes again. "And what would that have changed? If you'd said goodbye, I wouldn't have let you go. Then you'd have gone anyway and it would have hurt us even more than it already did. And if you had listened to my concerns, maybe we wouldn't have continued our relationship when Yoda warned us. It was your stubbornness that kept us together and as much as it hurts now, as much as I know I will die another small death when we say goodbye again, I can't wish it wouldn't hurt, because that would mean wishing my heart away."

Qui-Gon slipped his arms around Obi-Wan and held him close, burying his head on his lover's shoulder. "I love you," he murmured against Obi-Wan's skin.

"I know," came the familiar reply. It made Qui-Gon smile with the sheer complete truth of the statement. Obi-Wan did know. And so did he. The knowledge was absolute and unquestionable.

For a long time, they lay entwined in each other's arms, just holding each other close, listening to each other's heartbeats. The silence between them was filled with everything they didn't want to say, for what they had no words anyway. They didn't need to express what the other felt just as deeply, and they knew it. For now it was enough to be.

They both drifted off into a light doze from which Qui-Gon only woke when Obi-Wan tried to extricate himself carefully from Qui-Gon's arms.

"Where are you going?" Qui-Gon instinctively tightened his hold, his voice sounding anxious with the question.

Obi-Wan chuckled. "I was going to get us something to eat. Aren't you hungry?"

Smiling sheepishly, Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes. Sorry about the clinging, but it's still hard to believe that we can touch at all. I guess I'm a bit afraid that if I let go of you for too long, I won't be able to touch you again."

Obi-Wan smiled sadly and laid his hand on Qui-Gon's cheek. "That's unlikely. The Force never prevented us from having sex; it just prevented us from bonding. Since we're not attempting to bond I don't think the inhibition will surface again."

Qui-Gon snorted. "Well, apparently, the Force thinks we've learned our lesson."

"That is one lesson I could have easily lived without," Obi-Wan said softly.

"Right there with you, Ben. Now didn't you say something about food?"

Obi-Wan's small laugh lifted Qui-Gon's heart. Obi-Wan had turned so serious in their year apart. "I'll see what I can find, shall I?" Obi-Wan said and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his pants.

Qui-Gon sat up as well and turned Obi-Wan's head towards himself, kissing him lingeringly. "Don't be long," he whispered against his lover's lips.

Obi-Wan swallowed. "I'll use Force-speed."

He stood up and went to the door. Opening it, he turned back to Qui- Gon. "Keep the bed warm for me."

Qui-Gon grinned. "You bet. Now get your shapely backside to the mess hall and back again. I've got some more molesting to do."

With a laugh, Obi-Wan left the room and closed the door behind him.

Qui-Gon let his head fall back and called on the Force, harnessing its strength. They had a day left until they'd arrive at Naboo and he had the feeling he would spend very little of that time sleeping.

Well, he wasn't a Jedi for nothing. He smiled at himself and concentrated on reenergizing his body with the help of the Force. He had one or two ideas for when Obi-Wan returned.

Tahl couldn't sleep. She had gone to bed early, despite Padme's attempts to lure her into playing a game of Secheck with her, because she felt exhausted and angry. She hadn't seen Qui-Gon all day long and when she had sought out his quarters, the door had been locked. Her knock had gone unanswered and when she heard a soft cry from behind the locked doors, she knew she was unwanted there.

It pained her more than she wanted to admit and in a streak of masochism she had stayed a while longer, staring at the closed door, listening to the faint sounds of pleasure coming from inside. Not even the fact that Qui-Gon would return with her to Tatooine once Queen Amidala was safely back on Naboo could diminish the hurt she felt.

From the first moment she had set eyes on Qui-Gon on Gerona, she had felt the connection between them, and his easy and open manner had her falling in love with him almost instantly. When they'd had to part after the reception, she had known that they would meet again and silently she had prayed that it wouldn't take long. When she had encountered him on Tatooine, her feelings had almost overwhelmed her. Silently, unbeknown to her, her love for him had grown during their time apart and all she had wanted to do was throw herself into his arms, but she had felt his distance and she had vowed to herself to give him time. Over the months her respect and love for him had grown even more and sometimes she couldn't remember how life had been without him. Everything about Qui-Gon's presence in her life felt so right and she was basking in this feeling of rightness, the only clouds on her sky his refusal to take the next step. At first she had thought that he was overwhelmed by his feelings as well and that he needed time to adjust to them, but when months passed without a sign from him, when their life together became much like routine and he still hadn't approached her, she had been starting to think that there was something else that kept him from her.

He couldn't possibly know how much his confession that there was another person he loved had hurt her and she had tried to win his heart over with small gestures. It had taken him so long to finally trust her and when he confessed that Obi-Wan had been the lover he was still thinking about, she had had trouble evoking a picture of the other Padawan in her mind. She had called him milk face back then, and in her opinion that nickname was absolutely justified. Of course she had seen the closeness between the two of them, but never had she suspected that there was more behind their friendship.

Picturing Qui-Gon with Obi-Wan had been incredibly weird and it had taken her several days to acknowledge the fact that Qui-Gon was in love with a man. The mental image of them together had made her fairly sick, although she had no idea what love between men was like, but the pure thought of it just felt wrong to her.

Now that she had seen them together, that she had witnessed the manner in which they spoke to each other, looked at each other, behaved around each other, the jealousy she had felt when Qui-Gon first told her had surged up again. When she had listened to their lovemaking, everything suddenly felt very real and maybe that was why she had been standing in front of the closed door for some minutes, the soft sounds of passion coming from inside both repelling and intriguing her.

Only twice had she been the focus of Qui-Gon's passion and it had always been over too quickly, accompanied by the coldness of rejection. Now she witnessed another Qui-Gon, but his passion wasn't directed at her.

After tossing and turning in her bed for hours, she had gotten up to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen. The ship was quiet and dark and she padded across the common room on bare feet, glad that nobody else was up at this time. She felt weary and miserable and she didn't want to encounter anybody who might ask her why she looked like she had just been to a funeral. She wished she had stayed where she was, though, when she entered the small kitchen.

With his back to her was the source of her misery, his head stuck into the freezer unit, rummaging through its contents, whistling a tune. Tahl took in Obi-Wan's unclad back, wincing when she saw the scratch marks of fingernails down his back, the angry red welts vanishing in his low-slung sleeping pants. At her soft sound of dismay, he stopped whistling and turned around. As soon as he saw her, a guilty blush rose on his face.

"Tahl...," he said in a low voice and she briefly closed her eyes, wincing again.

"I...," he continued, but then his voice left him. She lifted a hand, turning his palm towards him, indicating him to leave it be.

When she opened her eyes again, he was rubbing his brows, his face infinitely sad. She didn't want his pity; she could very much live without it. Maybe it was only fair, she mused. I had what he wanted, now he has what I crave. But the sting of pain wouldn't hurt any less at her observation.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.

"Me too."

He glanced at her, frowning, obviously trying to understand what she meant.

She sighed deeply, then went to the freezer unit and reached inside, taking out a bottle of water. He carefully took a step aside, giving her space.

"I wish I could...," he started, but she interrupted him. "No you can't."

He nodded, but he didn't move away, still standing rooted to the spot as if he expected their conversation to continue.

Now that she was closer, she could make out a trace of faint bruises on his neck and the musky scent coming off him in waves made her stomach clench. It was Qui-Gon's scent clinging to him and something sharper, something foreign. It once again reminded her that he possessed what she craved and at this moment she wanted nothing more than to trade places with him, to be the one reeking of Qui-Gon's scent, to be the one who would return to Qui-Gon's quarters and crawl into bed with him, to... She painfully clamped down on her train of thoughts, then pushed herself away from the freezer, bottle tightly clenched in her hand.

"Good night, Obi-Wan," she said softly, wishing her hurt wouldn't be so audible through her polite dismissal.

"Good night, Tahl," he answered, his voice sounding thick with contradicting emotions.

She managed to leave the room without stumbling, although her knees felt weak, barely made to carry her weight. At the door, she turned once more, looking at him. Obi-Wan was leaning against the freezer unit, forehead pressed against the metal, the set of his shoulders tense.

She swallowed a lump in her throat and bit her lip. You are not going to cry, Tahl, she reminded herself, then lifted her head, willing the tears threatening to spill from her eyes away. She had never thought that life could be so unfair.

Qui-Gon pushed back the hood of his Jedi robe and tucked his hands into his sleeves again, adopting an air of detached serenity as was proper for a Jedi in public. He allowed himself a swift glance at Obi- Wan, who was standing next to him, both of them flanking Master Yoda. His lover's face was as calm and serene as his own, but he recognised it as the mask it was when he caught a glimpse of Obi-Wan's eyes, which had turned a stormy, shadowy grey. Never a good sign.

Qui-Gon sighed inwardly. Their two days on the ship seemed almost a dream now, a bubble of time removed from the rules and realities of the real world, where problems didn't exist and there was no war to win. Only now they were back, their short holiday had ended and reality had come crashing down, and the war they'd dreaded was already in the air, the very Force signature of Naboo.

He watched as the Queen pleaded with the Gungans with a curious detachment, not even really shocked when Padme revealed herself as the real Queen of Naboo.

Time was linear, chains of events had been set in motion and must now be followed to their conclusion and they were as involved now in this conflict as the intricate workings and shiftings of the wheels inside that little R2 droid that followed Padme around everywhere.

Qui-Gon's connection to the Moment told him about the shift of mood in the Gungan leader. They would fight with them, for their people, for their planet and their freedom. And what about him? How had he ended up here? What was he fighting for?

One glance at Obi-Wan was enough to settle that question. He had not lied to Tahl though, he mused. He would have helped out any fellow Jedi, but the prospect of fighting with and protecting Obi-Wan from harm was more than just helping out. It was the life he'd always wanted, had always hoped for.

The assembly broke up and Padme waved them over for a meeting to discuss her plan. He and Obi-Wan both followed Yoda, who walked over to where Padme had already assembled her troops and the Gungan Council. Qui-Gon fought to keep the smile off his face when his fingers were gripped and squeezed by Obi-Wan, but the urge to smile faded when he met Obi-Wan's eyes, still a stormy grey. His lover was still jumpy, apparently.

Last night, after several rounds of intense lovemaking, they'd both fallen into exhausted sleep, but only a few hours later Obi-Wan had once again woken up screaming. He'd been unwilling to talk about the nightmare, but had clung to Qui-Gon, maintaining steady body contact or at least gripping Qui-Gon's hand until forced to relinquish it when they landed on Naboo and duty called once more. He felt Obi- Wan's unspoken fear, his fathomless dread. He knew Obi-Wan too well to ignore the signs that his lover's sense of foreboding had once again taken hold of him. He gave the fingers entwined with his own a short squeeze before relinquishing them as they arrived at Queen Amidala's side.

"Just stay close to them and you should be all right," Qui-Gon said as he handed Tahl the blaster he'd carried with him since the day he'd had to give up his lightsabre.

She nodded. "And what about you?"

"I'll go to Theed with Obi-Wan and the Queen's task force."

"And Master Yoda will stay with us?" Tahl asked, sounding vaguely hopeful. The ancient Jedi Master had spoken only a few words with her, but she felt safe in his presence nonetheless.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, he will go with the Gungan army. They'll need all the help they can get. He'll stay with their generals and help them with strategy and such."

"Do you think Padme's plan will work?"

"It's risky, but it's the only chance they have. I think it will work, or better yet, I hope so," he answered with a shrug.

"Quiggs! Let's get going!" Obi-Wan called from over at the transports, which would take them to Theed.

Qui-Gon nodded at Obi-Wan and stepped closer to Tahl, putting his arms around her. "Take care of yourself. Remember your shooting lessons. Battle droids are a lot easier to hit than womp rats."

Tahl didn't smile, she just hugged Qui-Gon back. "You take care of yourself. I have a really bad feeling about this."

Qui-Gon drew back and smiled warmly. "You sound like Obi-Wan. Force protect you." He kissed her lightly on the cheek and went to join Obi-Wan.

Tahl looked after him, suppressing the sickening clench of her stomach that told her in more than words that something very bad would happen this day.

Personally, Obi-Wan thought that Queen Amidala's plan was rather risky. He doubted the invasion army would lose their moral support once they had captured the Viceroy. In his opinion the crucial part of the mission was to destroy the ship that controlled the battle droids. An invasion was no good without an army.

Still, the Gungan army forming for battle in the swamps was definitely a good diversion to get them into the palace. Padme had suggested that they enter the city through the secret passage on the waterfall side. If Captain Panaka succeeded in distracting the battle droids standing guard at the central hangar entrance, they might get into the castle through the hangar and from there into the throne room, where the Viceroy had most certainly taken up residence.

They waited crouched behind a wall, while Captain Panaka crept up to the entrance with his small troop of fighters from the other side. Obi-Wan shot a sideways glance at Qui-Gon, who smiled at him with confidence. Automatically, he smiled back, despite the uneasiness that hadn't left him since the dreams had started again. He suddenly wished he hadn't petitioned for Qui-Gon to join them on the mission. If he hadn't encountered Qui-Gon and drawn him into the unfolding events, he would be safe on Tatooine, watching over the moisture farm. Instead he was here by his side in grave danger.

Padme signalled Captain Panaka on the other side to attack and they watched as the other group leapt forward, opening fire on the assembled battle droids. As one man, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stepped out into the open as well, deflecting the laser bolts shot into their direction back at the droids, causing them to explode.

Even while he was busy deflecting laser bolts and advancing on the fast decreasing number of battle droids, Obi-Wan revelled in the joy of fighting side by side with Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon's presence gave him the feeling of a level of security he didn't even feel when fighting with Master Yoda. They didn't need words to communicate their movements to each other; instinctively Obi-Wan knew when to cover Qui- Gon's back and when to proceed forward.

Finally, the last battle droid fell, and Obi-Wan turned to signal Padme and her little group to come after them. "This way to the throne room," she said, pointing at a large double- winged door on the other side of the hangar.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchanged a look, letting Captain Panaka and Padme lead their small assembly. The moment they reached the doors they swished open and the people in front of them suddenly leapt aside, revealing a dark-clad figure, grinning at them with yellowish teeth. Obi-Wan inhaled sharply as he recognised the Sith Lord Qui-Gon had fought on Tatooine.

"Go on! We'll handle this," Qui-Gon said, his eyes never leaving the Zabrakian looming in the doorway.

Obi-Wan observed the hasty departure of Captain Panaka and his troops, giving Padme whose eyes were wide with shock a small reassuring smile, then he reached for the clasp of his robe at the same moment as Qui-Gon started to shed his. They shrugged off their robes as one and ignited their lightsabres.

In front of them, the Zabrakian did the same. It was Obi-Wan who attacked first, spiralling towards the Zabrakian with a graceful move, slashing down his lightsabre from above, in the hope he might land behind his opponent, so he and Qui-Gon would be on either side of the Sith. The Sith reacted quickly, leaping aside and backing away slightly, leading them away from the main hangar into the power generator area.

Fighting with Qui-Gon against somebody felt a lot like a dance they had synchronized a long time ago and he felt absolutely at ease, albeit that their opponent was not to be underestimated. He had seen the Sith fight Qui-Gon and he knew how powerful the Zabrakian was. He received a deft kick to his chin and was thrown aside, but leapt to his feet immediately, attacking the Sith from behind. Now each of them was on one side of the Sith, and sensing Qui-Gon's every attack, Obi-Wan tried to complement the other's fighting style, attacking where the Sith least expected it.

Or so he thought. Another kick to his stomach and he flew back with the force of the impact, his lightsabre slipping from his hands. He landed ungently on his back several levels below, cursing. A quick look told him that Qui-Gon had managed to push the Sith off the thin catwalk around the generator pit and had leapt after him. They were fighting only one level above him now. Obi-Wan didn't hesitate, but summoned his sabre and jumped high up in the air, coming to land on the same level, but Qui-Gon had already driven the Sith Lord back, towards a door.

Cursing again, he ran after them, wondering why Qui-Gon hadn't waited for him. The bad feeling in his stomach rose again as he saw the Zabrakian enter a long hallway, separated by activated force fields of red light and he ran faster, hoping to catch up with them before the doors closed. He watched as a thin red wall of light slid between the Sith and Qui-Gon and he allowed himself a sigh of relief. Now he could close up to Qui-Gon and they could attack the Sith again together. He didn't have that luck. A red curtain of light slid in front of him just as he entered the hallway and he came to a sliding halt only moments before he touched the deadly rays.

Helplessly, he watched as Qui-Gon sank down onto his knees, gathering the Force around him, breathing in deeply, preparing for the battle. The Sith Lord was pacing restlessly behind the red wall, his whole posture displaying aggressiveness. Obi-Wan tried to catch his breath as well while he watched what was going on in front of him, so close and still so unreachable. The familiarity of the situation suddenly struck him out of nowhere and a pained moan escaped him when he remembered where he had seen the same picture before. He shook his head, willing the vision to go away, but it was too late. His dream. The situation enfolding before him was an exact replica of the nightmare that had haunted him for years.

"No..., " he whispered, a mixture of pain, anger and despair wrenching his guts. His eyes passed between Qui-Gon and the Sith, his fists clenching, his own fingernails digging into his palms painfully. He couldn't allow this to happen.

Then the red wall separating Qui-Gon and the Sith slid open and there was no time left for remorse. Breathlessly, he watched as they fought, driving each other around the small generator pit. Then the rays in front of him vanished and he raced down the corridor, his heart beating loudly in his chest, hoping he would reach them before it was too late. The last damned force field slid in place just when he reached the generator pit. The tension in his body was almost unbearable and a small hiccupping sob escaped him. His brain was empty, except for the fear for Qui-Gon and he tried to reach out to the Force, releasing his anxiety, while he watched as the Sith drove Qui-Gon back.

The sickness in his stomach spread, the tension built and he could do nothing, nothing but watch. He still could do nothing when the Sith Lord delivered a forceful kick to Qui-Gon's chin and distracted and dazed, Qui-Gon let his guard down. The scream tore from Obi-Wan's lungs even before the Zabrakian's double bladed lightsabre ran through Qui-Gon.

The world had suddenly gone numb, the aftershocks of his own cry echoing in his mind. He couldn't believe what he saw. Qui-Gon was lying on his side, face turned away from him, not moving, his lightsabre lying on the floor next to him.

The Sith Lord had turned to Obi-Wan, approaching him with a gleam in his eyes, triumphant and vicious. Anger was building in Obi-Wan. Anger about having to witness his lover's death, anger at bringing Qui-Gon into this situation in the first place, anger at not having been able to foresee it, and he directed his anger against the Sith Lord who was grinning at him as if he knew how much Qui-Gon meant to him.

He bit his lips, the flash of pain as his teeth dug into the sensitive skin reminding him of the reality of the situation. Then the wall slid open and he attacked with Force speed, throwing himself forward, against the Sith, bringing his sabre down forcefully. He fought like he had never fought before, anger and despair drowning out the voice of tactic. Obviously surprised, the Sith backed away, leading him further onto the thin catwalk, retreating. Obi-Wan slashed out again in blind rage and the blade of his sabre connected with the Sith's lightsabre handle, slicing it in two, leaving the Sith with a single bladed sabre to defend himself. He somersaulted high up in the air, over the Zabrakian's head, slashing down with his sabre from above. The Sith escaped him again and he lashed after him blindly, a mistake. He received a kick aimed at his head and tumbled back, losing his step. He felt the ground vanish under his feet and then he fell.

With Jedi reflexes he reached out, managing to get a hold onto a nozzle at the side of the melting pit. Dangling from the nozzle, he tried to get his concentration back and he closed his eyes briefly, inhaling sharply. The sound of a lightsabre clattering on the ground above him made him open his eyes again and he had to witness as the Sith Lord kicked his lightsabre into the endless pit with an evil grin. Summoning the Force around him, he concentrated on his surroundings. Qui-Gon. He could still detect some signs of life in him and the thought gave him hope. Qui-Gon. And Qui-Gon's lightsabre lying next to him. Reaching out with the Force he tested the distance, then took a last breath and jumped up out of the pit, calling Qui-Gon's sabre to him in the same instance. The handle flew into his hand and he ignited it, throwing the surprised Sith off balance. It was now or never and Obi-Wan used the Zabrakian's surprise for an attack. It was almost too easy when he saw the blade of Qui-Gon's lightsabre slice through the man's torso. With a wordless cry the Zabrakian tumbled backwards, falling into the pit.

Breathing heavily, Obi-Wan dropped the sabre, rushing over to Qui- Gon's side.

Pain, Qui-Gon found, like everything in life, dulled with time. Breath, on the other hand, was seriously underrated. Idiot, he chided himself. Should have waited. Should have drawn back. But he'd been so immersed in the fight and the moment that it hadn't even occurred to him to wait for Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan. Where was Obi-Wan? He tried to raise his head and look, but something in his body protested even the tiniest movement. The Force was slipping through his grasp, so he had to trust his other senses. Footsteps. Lightsabres clashing. Harsh, panting breaths, but all seemed so far away.

Lightsabre wounds did not bleed, but Qui-Gon still felt the life drain out of him as surely as he would have felt the blood. The cold of the floor beneath him slowly seeped into his limbs making them heavy. Consciousness wavered, but he managed to grasp awareness and hold it tightly. He had to know what happened with Obi-Wan first. He knew he was dying, but he prayed that his death would be the only one here today. The clashing lightsabres and footsteps fell silent, suddenly, and Qui- Gon wished so much he could raise his head or at least reach out with the Force.

He sent a quiet prayer to the Force. Spare him. Help him. Let him live. Let him love, prosper, be happy, let him have a long life full of everything he wants.

The psychic silence was broken by a wave of dark energy even Qui-Gon could feel in his weakened condition, then he heard heavy footsteps running towards him. He felt himself lifted into strong arms and sighed in relief as he looked into the incredible blue-green eyes of his lover. "Ben..." he whispered, exhaling a precious breath of air he would not get back.

"Shhh... be still, be still. I'll get the Healers, we'll put you in a bacta tank. It will be all right," Obi-Wan was babbling, his voice panicky and choked with as yet unshed tears.

Qui-Gon smiled. "It's too late, too late."

Obi-Wan shook his head in wordless denial, then pressed his forehead against Qui-Gon's. "Don't leave me. Please."

With the last of his strength, Qui-Gon raised his hand and put it on Obi-Wan's cheek. "You're so beautiful...," he whispered, awed at how light everything was, how brightly the Force swirled around them.

Obi-Wan's sob tore at his heart. "I'm so sorry...," he heard him whisper.

"Don't..."

He tugged at Obi-Wan's braid and Obi-Wan looked up, locking gazes with him. "I love you."

"I know. And I love you too," Obi-Wan half whispered, half sobbed.

He smiled at Obi-Wan. His lover. His Ben. He would drown in those eyes one of these days, he knew it, and in actuality the time for this seemed to have come, for breathing seemed awfully hard. The light hurt his eyes, it shone so brightly. Everything went blurry, and he felt breath leave his body in a rush as the world faded out.

When Qui-Gon's focus snapped back into place, breathing was easy. Movement was easy. The pain was gone. He raised a hand and looked at it. Blue, glowing energy seemed to surround it. What the Sith...

A pained wail broke through his confusion, a low, keening, drawn- out, "Noooo...", and he turned around to see Obi-Wan holding his body, sobbing and rocking back and forth, whispering a litany of denial and grief between his helpless tears.

He went over and kneeled next to Obi-Wan. "Ben, it's all right, I'm here... Ben!" Obi-Wan didn't react, and when Qui-Gon reached out to touch him, he found he could not quite reach Obi-Wan.

"You're dead, Padawan." Master Rob's voice sounded faintly amused. "Of course you can't reach him."

Qui-Gon whirled around. "Master!"

Rob-Ma Bur smiled at his former student. "You look well, Qui-Gon. For a ghost, at least."

"Master!"

Rob chuckled. "You said that already."

The Master came closer and Qui-Gon stood up to embrace the man. They hugged tightly and Qui-Gon sighed against his Master's shoulder. "I've missed you so much!"

"I know, Padawan."

They stepped apart and Qui-Gon asked, "What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining, mind you..."

"I'm here to help you, of course. I'm your Master after all. That's what I'm there for."

"I'm glad you're here." Qui-Gon said and turned back to Obi-Wan, but he seemed to be blurred and on the far end of the room now. "I always wanted you to meet him. I never envisioned the circumstances, though."

Rob laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know him through you. He's a fine man."

Obi-Wan stilled and laid Qui-Gon's body back to the floor.

A shudder went through the room, the Force, the very air around them as they both felt Obi-Wan's focus narrow and change.

"And a stubborn one, apparently." Master Rob smiled.

"What is he doing?" Qui-Gon's heart was gripped with fear. "It's too late. I've been dead..."

"For no longer than a few heartbeats, Padawan."

"But..."

"Time has no meaning here. You're a being of the Force now," Master Rob said with a serene smile.

It started softly. A call, a slight pull. A silvery thread through the misty distance between Obi-Wan, his dead body and where he was standing with his Master. He felt Obi-Wan's Force signature at the other end of this pull, felt his voice call him back with love and hope and grief and despair all rolled into a tight ball of concentrated Force energy.

Master Rob smiled. "He must really love you very much."

Qui-Gon looked over the ever-increasing distance between him and Obi- Wan smiled. "Yes he does."

The pull increased, the voice became louder, and he could almost make out words now.

"Well, Padawan? What will you do?"

"Do, Master?" Qui-Gon asked, puzzled.

"It's your choice, Padawan. Will you go back or not? It seems that you are still very much needed."

Qui-Gon shook his head sadly. "But we'll be separated again when I go back. I will have to go with Tahl. It might be years before we meet again, if ever..."

Rob smiled. "Feel inside you, Padawan. Can you feel the call of the bond with Tahl?"

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and directed his focus inward, but all he could feel was the call of Obi-Wan's thread of light. "I can't feel it!" he exclaimed, astonished and opened his eyes to look at his Master again. "Why can't I feel it?"

Rob smiled. "Because you've died, Padawan."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I don't understand any of this, Master. Why did the Force place this bond there in the first place if it was my destiny to never fulfil it?"

Rob sighed. "The paths and threads of human life are much more complicated than mere fate, Padawan. I can't tell you much, but to put it simply, there are three forces at work in the universe. Fate, coincidence and choice. Your being here is the result of all three working together and against each other. Coincidence brought you to Obi-Wan, your own choice made you stay. Fate separated you, coincidence brought you back together."

Qui-Gon frowned, puzzled. "So you mean my being here was never meant to be? All of this," he gestured around, indicating the room and his own ghostly form, "was never meant to happen?"

"Who knows, Padawan? The ways of the Force are mysterious."

Qui-Gon nodded, slowly. "Yes, Master. But one thing I don't understand. Fate and coincidence are polar opposites, as are fate and choice. How can they exist together?"

Rob smiled. "They even depend on each other, Padawan. The chaos they create between them is the very spark of life. The Force binds them together and keeps them apart. It fills the voids they have created. But your fate has ended now. You died, so your path is no longer in fate's hands, it now rests in the realms of chaos."

"I don't understand, Master. "

"You will, Padawan. One day, you will."

The thread of light that connected him with Obi-Wan was growing broader and broader; it was almost a path now. Behind Obi-Wan's mind he could feel another, ancient and powerful. Yoda. The pull towards his body increased, but he knew he had only to take a step back and it would fade, he would fade into the Force and get all the answers and all the peace he had ever wanted or wished for.

The call in his head was a steady whisper now. 'Come back to me.'

He turned to the fading image of his Master. "I..."

Rob nodded. "I know. Go. Help him. Your destiny might have ended today, but his has only just begun."

Qui-Gon reached out. "Master...I miss you."

"Padawan." Rob clasped his hand in both of his. "I'm always there, Qui-Gon. In everything you do."

Qui-Gon smiled as Master Bur faded back into the light.

The call was a yell now, in his head. Come to me. So he did. He took a step towards Obi-Wan, touching the thread of light.

The pain was excruciating. His entire being screamed in shuddering agony as he was ripped back into corporeal self. The scream tore from his lungs with the first breath they pulled in and into his heart as it pulsed its first tentative beat. The scream continued in his mind, but faded quickly when he felt the soothing touch of another mind to his, and he opened his eyes to look into Obi-Wan's red-rimmed, watering ones fading with exhaustion, but never more radiant with a smile that threatened to stop Qui-Gon's newly mended heart all over again.

"Welcome back," he heard before blackness engulfed him once more.

It was strange, Qui-Gon mused, how completely your life could change in a very short time. Two weeks ago, he'd been desperately unhappy with no hope for betterment. A week ago - well, a week ago, he'd been dead. And now, Qui-Gon Jinn was experiencing the most foreign and wonderful of states. He was happy.

Or would be, as soon as he was released from the medical ward. The doctors here were driving him crazy. They treated him like an invalid who couldn't even go to the fresher by himself. Fortunately, the nurse had told him he'd be released soon, adding a prayer of thanks to the Force for that circumstance. Well, Qui-Gon could only heartily agree.

The door chime went off and Qui-Gon grinned, expecting it to be Obi- Wan, for his lover always visited around that time. He felt his way along their newly established and gloriously strong lovers' bond, but found Obi-Wan still in meditation with Yoda, so he withdrew and called, "Come in."

The door swished open and revealed Tahl, who looked so sad that Qui- Gon swallowed his smile at once.

She smiled at him weakly. "Hello."

He returned the greeting and motioned for her to sit down.

She took his invitation, sat down on a chair near the bed and looked down at her hands which lay folded in her lap. "How are you?"

"Much better. They'll let me out of here soon."

"Good." She looked up, trying and failing to smile. "I've come to say goodbye."

"Tahl...," Qui-Gon almost sighed the name. "Going back to Tatooine?"

She just nodded.

"When?"

"Tonight."

"I...," Qui-Gon broke off. He had no idea what to say. There was so much, yet so little he could tell her. He took a deep breath. "Tahl... for what it's worth, I... I'm sorry."

She waved his words away. "There isn't anything either of us can do about it. There never was."

"Still, I wish..."

"Please, don't, Qui-Gon. We both know that you're where you want to be now. You're happy now, much happier than you would have been with me, and that's enough for me." She smiled at him, but her eyes were sad. Qui-Gon only hoped that since the demands of the bond were now gone from both their minds and souls she would be able to move on and be happy.

He held out his arms. "Come here."

She came into his arms and they held each other for a long time.

They broke apart and Tahl wiped a tear from her cheek. "Be well."

He gripped her chin and looked into her unusual eyes. "You too. I wish you all the happiness imaginable. You deserve it."

"Thank you."

"May the Force be with you, Tahl."

She smiled more genuinely now. "And with you, Qui-Gon."

"Call me from time to time," he said, returning her smile.

"I will."

Without another word, she left his life as quietly as she had entered it.

Qui-Gon laid his head back and closed his eyes, wishing fervently that Tahl would find happiness just as he had. Sending a quiet prayer for her into the Force, he smiled again. There was so much hope in his world now.

It was late afternoon when Obi-Wan entered the Theed medical ward after a long talk and meditation with Master Yoda. He still couldn't believe how everything had blown over and turned into its polar opposite. His step was light and his heart was even lighter. Master Yoda had just promoted him to the rank of Jedi Knight, claiming that this mission had been his last trial and that he had excelled, as Yoda had hoped he would.

He would attend the Knighting ceremony as soon as they were back on Coruscant. In the meantime he enjoyed the pleasant weather, long walks in the beautiful gardens of Theed and his stays in the medical ward at Qui-Gon's bed. His lover had recovered spectacularly and would be released soon.

Obi-Wan still couldn't grasp what all this meant. Qui-Gon's death experience had severed the potential soul bond to Tahl, leaving him free to choose his own path. The newfound possibilities in their relationship were unbelievable and for the first time in almost six years, the weight that had lain on Obi-Wan's shoulders had been lifted. He felt positively light-headed.

When he entered the corridor that led to Qui-Gon's room, he almost crashed into Tahl and they both jumped apart, glancing uncertainly at each other.

"Tahl...," Obi-Wan opened the conversation, not really knowing what to say. For the first time, their roles were reversed and only now did he understand what that meant. He winced in sympathy when he thought that she was just now experiencing the same frustration he had gone through.

She gave him a small smile, overshadowed by a sad look that she couldn't quite hide from her face.

"Obi-Wan."

"How is he? As cranky as yesterday?"

She laughed quietly and shook her head. "Better. The healers said he would be released soon. He is driving them crazy because he has decided that he has lain in bed long enough."

He grinned, knowing full well how persistent Qui-Gon could be. "And you?" he asked, searching her face.

She frowned, then shrugged. "I don't know," she finally confessed.

The silence between them was uncomfortable, but Obi-Wan didn't want to leave her like this, searching his mind for some words of support but finding none that would be appropriate.

She cleared her throat, interrupting his thoughts. "I'm going back to Tatooine today. Padme has arranged a transport that will bring me back."

He nodded. "That's good, I guess."

"Yes."

They both were silent again and still Obi-Wan was searching feverishly for some kind words, but he was sure words of regret weren't what she wanted to hear from him.

"Anyway, I have to go," she finally said.

"Yes. Have a good flight."

"Thank you," she said, smiling a bit ruefully, not meeting his eyes. They both turned away from each other almost awkwardly, and slowly Obi-Wan proceeded down the corridor, when finally her voice called him back.

"Obi-Wan?"

He turned, observing her calmly.

"Take care of Qui-Gon, will you?"

Her choked request caught him off-guard and he stared at her, wondering if he had missed seeing the real Tahl all the time. They'd had arguments in the past, the tension between them had been high all the while and he had been angry with her more than once. Maybe his evaluation of her had been wrong from the start.

"I will. I promise," he said warmly.

"I know you will."

He could see her eyes starting to water and for a moment he wished he could step forward and hug her, but he felt how inappropriate that would be. Then she turned around and he watched as she retreated down the corridor, her sure walk not indicating her emotions.

He stared after her until she stepped through the sliding doors and vanished from his view.

When he entered Qui-Gon's room, he found his lover propped up against a pillow, staring out of the window, lost in thought. At the sound of his footfall, Qui-Gon turned his head, bestowing a smile onto him.

"Thank the Force you're here. I think I've never been so bored in my whole life."

Obi-Wan chuckled and sat down on the bed next to Qui-Gon, leaning in to press a welcoming kiss to his lips. "You always were the impatient one. Be glad that you are off the roller coaster for at least some time."

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes and sighed. "You don't need to lie here all day long and stare at the walls."

"Still cranky, huh?" Obi-Wan observed, grinning when Qui-Gon started to protest. "I'm visiting you as often as possible, and still you feel left alone," he continued, teasing.

That produced a chuckle out of Qui-Gon. "I'm grateful, really. It's rather boring sitting here with me all day long, listening to me ranting about the ward, isn't it?" he asked, sounding a bit ashamed.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "You know there is no place in the world I'd rather spend my time."

Qui-Gon smiled, reaching out and placing a hand on his chest, stroking him through the fabric. Obi-Wan leaned into the touch and sighed contentedly, his eyes falling shut.

"I got promoted to Knight," he said, quietly.

Surprised, Qui-Gon pulled his hand back and stared at him, his eyes wide. Then his face broke into a huge grin. "Hah! I knew it!"

"What did you know?"

"I knew they would promote you! I'm so proud of you."

Obi-Wan was pulled into a passionate hug and he leaned his head on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "You'll come back with me, won't you?" he whispered softly into Qui-Gon's ear, his heartbeat speeding up as he awaited Qui-Gon's answer.

He was pushed back a bit and Qui-Gon held him at arm's length, looking at him intently. "There is no place I'd rather be than by your side, you know that."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly, letting the joy wash trough him, then he nodded. "Yes."

When he opened his eyes, Qui-Gon patted the empty place on the bed next to him. "Come here, lie down next to me."

He let himself be drawn onto the bed and Qui-Gon lifted the covers, motioning him to move closer. He settled into Qui-Gon's arms, resting his hand on his lover's chest, carefully not to touch the bandage on his stomach. The heart under his ear beat steadily and he listened to its reassuring sound, lost in the warmth and smell of his lover. A soft kiss was pressed to his temple and a finger traced the outlines of his brows tenderly. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and smiled.

Epilogue

Satisfied, Qui-Gon shut the closet door. It was unbelievable, but he had actually managed to store away all his things. He had finished unpacking not only his bags but also the boxes from Temple storage and the large closet still had room for the contents of the boxes Obi- Wan hadn't yet unpacked.

They had been back at the Temple for little over a week now, but already life was starting to get back into a certain routine. He'd been reinstated as Padawan almost immediately and had taken his reaffirmation vows at Obi-Wan's Knighting ceremony, and since all their friends had been present, he and Obi-Wan had been practically forced to set a date for the bonding ceremony. There was only one piece of unfinished business left, and Obi-Wan was out right now taking care of it.

Qui-Gon went out into the common room and let himself drop on the sofa. He still tired quickly, after all it had been only about three weeks since his death, or rather near-death. He closed his eyes and relaxed, but before he could sink into a trance or fall asleep, the door opened and Obi-Wan stormed in, obviously more than a little angry.

"They said no," Qui-Gon stated the obvious.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said and followed the affirmative with a swell of particularly vile Dagobese curses.

"Ben, I'm not sure that last one is even physically possible," he interrupted after an especially disgusting invective.

Obi-Wan whirled around to glare at him. " I know. Still, I think Master Koth should maybe have surgery and then do it to himself."

"What exactly did they say?"

"Well, I petitioned to take Anakin as a Padawan and even got Yoda to back me up, but the rest of the Council basically told me I was crazy."

"Why?" Qui-Gon frowned.

"Let's see. I'm too young. Too inexperienced." Obi-Wan checked off points on his fingers. "Anakin's too important, too powerful and too untrained to let me train him. Then Master Koth said it would be like handing a twelve-year old an assault blaster with the safety switch off."

"Charming," Qui-Gon replied dryly.

Obi-Wan just snorted and kicked a chair, then resumed pacing.

A pause ensued, which Qui-Gon used to find a delicate way to put his thoughts. "Um, Obi-Wan, I hate to say this, but they do have a point."

He didn't get the death glare he'd expected, Obi-Wan only stopped in his tracks and ran his hand through his hair. "I know," he murmured. "That's the problem. Rationally, I know they're right. I don't feel ready for a Padawan, but I do feel connected to Anakin. I feel responsible for him."

Qui-Gon motioned for Obi-Wan to come closer, and when the other man complied, he pulled him down onto the couch with him. "Ben, listen to me. I know you feel responsible for him, but the Council has spoken and you can't defy them without serious consequences. Do you want to take Anakin with you and leave the Order?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, I couldn't do that. I couldn't have left even for you," he confessed, putting his hand against Qui-Gon's cheek.

"Then we'll have to live with the Council's decision."

"I know." Obi-Wan put his head against Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Still, I have a very bad feeling about it."

Qui-Gon sighed. "I've learned the hard way to take your bad feelings seriously, so I suggest that we keep an eye on Anakin. We'll be his friends, spend a lot of time with him, see that he gets a good Master. Your connection with him is strong, there's no need to give that up. I won't be knighted for at least two years, so we'll be at the Temple enough to see that he's taken care of."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Sounds like a good plan. I just hope it will be enough. Now kiss me and take my horrible day away."

Qui-Gon chuckled then concentrated on the appointed task. When he came up for breath again, Obi-Wan was in a much more mellow mood. They snuggled together on the couch.

"I miss your hair," Obi-Wan murmured, running a hand through Qui- Gon's new Padawan cut.

Qui-Gon chuckled softly, but didn't comment and a comfortable silence settled between them again.

"How was your day?" Obi-Wan asked after a while.

Qui-Gon shrugged. "I unpacked. Got my new schedule. Had lunch with Master Windu. A Padawan's life."

"Speaking of unpacking, I've got something for you..." Obi-Wan said, stood up and disappeared into the bedroom. He emerged again after a few moments, hiding a hand behind his back.

"Hold out your hand."

Qui-Gon did as he was told and Obi-Wan put his palm over Qui-Gon's, placing a small object onto it, an object Qui-Gon recognised instantly. "Ben..." he began in a chiding tone, but Obi-Wan placed a finger over his lips.

"No, let me talk first. You gave the river stone to me so that I'd always have something of yours to remind me of our promise. But I don't need the stone anymore; I've got you now. And soon, we'll finish what we started and life bond, and then we'll never be apart again. I want you to have it back. It's Master Rob's gift to you and I know how much it means to you."

Qui-Gon smiled. "I don't need it anymore either. I told you about seeing him when I was dead, didn't I?"

Obi-Wan nodded.

"You see, he said to me that he'll always be with me in everything I do. What is a stone compared to that?"

Obi-Wan took up the stone. "So what do we do with it then?"

"Come with me." Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's hand and pulled him along to the bedroom. He placed the stone onto a small shelf above their bed. "Here?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Perfect."

Still kneeling on the bed, Qui-Gon held out an inviting hand. Obi-Wan smiled and took it, letting himself be pulled onto the bed and into his lover's arms, his eyes never leaving the river stone.

They were home now.

Epilogue II

That first night together in their quarters, securely wrapped in his lover's arms, Obi-Wan dreamed again. It was the same dream he had had several times in the past.

Burnt down ruins, the scent of scorched flesh hanging in the air thickly, almost choking him. Smoke, scratching his lungs. He walked through the ruins, careful where he stepped.

The Temple he had lived in all his life was now a graveyard, the ground littered with corpses, debris and dust and wherever he looked, the picture was the same. He halted in the pathway that had once been the main corridor in front of the big statue of Master Xiatun. Parts of the ancient monument had broken off, littering the floor in front of it. He bent down and picked up one of the broken pieces, turning it in his hand, a symbol for everything that had been destroyed. He wiped away the stone dust and placed it into his empty pocket.

He couldn't stay here. He had to leave, he needed a place to hide, needed a place to hide the children. Footsteps echoed in the graveyard that used to be the Jedi Temple behind him, and he didn't need to turn to know who it was.

A comforting hand was placed on his shoulder, the warmth reassuring, stable, the only thing left. A gentle squeeze and the hand stayed where it was, a wave of love flooding him, preventing his heart from falling to the tempting darkness.

Qui-Gon's voice was gentle when he squeezed his shoulder once more and said, "They will get here soon. Let's go, Ben."

THE END