Fates - Anniversary

by Raina

Archive: yes please, M_A; nuttersinc (nowhere else)

Pairing: Q/O

Category: AU, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. However, Partner in Crime and I share custody of Padawans Quiggs and Ben.

Feedback: Always a treat. raina_at@yahoo.de

Summary: Quiggs does some thinking, Ben does some hugging.

Warning: None

Spoilers: For the Fates universe

Notes: Mush. And someone mentioned the lack of hurt/comfort in the Fates-Universe. Well, here you go.

Series: Yes, Fates. If you haven't read at least Fates-Clotho, this will not make any sense whatsoever.

Takes place shortly before (actually on the same mission as) "Fates- The Seduction of Padawan Jinn"

Fates timeline found here:

http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/nuttersinc/fates_timeline.html

Thank you to Tem-ve, my dear beta reader and Leandra for sharing custody of Ben and Quiggs with me

The snow crunched under Obi-Wan's boots. He was glad he'd pulled them on when he left their rooms, and worried that Quiggs' boots had still been in their room. He pulled his robe tighter around himself. The wind was freezing cold, but fortunately it had stopped snowing.

Cold. That was why he'd woken up. He'd been cold. And alone in the bed he shared with Quiggs. Once again, they were on a mission with Master Windu and once again, they had been assigned shared quarters, for the ambassador had believed that only one Jedi Padawan would accompany the Master.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan never complained about the common mistake, for it gave them the perfect opportunity to be alone together on a mission. Sleeping together in one bed was a luxury they couldn't afford very often at the Temple.

So naturally, when Obi-Wan had woken and found the bed empty he'd wondered where Qui-Gon was. And when he'd taken a look outside and discovered that it had snowed and was in fact freezing, he started to worry.

What the Sith had possessed his lover to leave their bed and go out into the cold night without his cloak and boots, Obi-Wan grumbled to himself, dragging the items his lover had left behind with him.

He'd tried to contact Qui-Gon over his comlink, but had found that he had left it in their quarters. So he'd decided to go looking for the man in person.

He let his awareness of Qui-Gon through the Force guide him through the extensive palace gardens and while he felt his way, he wondered what could have made his lover leave him alone in the bed, without a note or a word.

He went through their day, trying and failing to recall an incident which could have upset Quiggs so much as to seek solitude like that. Maybe he had offended his lover by being too exhausted to trade more than a few kisses when they went to bed?

But no, Qui-Gon had been just as tired as he, and never one to take offence when Obi-Wan didn't want to have sex. Though admittedly, the occasions when Obi-Wan didn't want sex could be numbered using only the fingers of one hand, and were far outweighed by his natural enthusiasm for it. Or rather his enthusiasm for everything Qui-Gon, for he would have gladly shared his lover's bed doing astrophysics homework, and had in fact done so frequently. He would do just about anything if it meant he could be with Quiggs.

He calmed his racing thoughts and focused once more on the Force, let it guide him towards where he wanted to be. The gardens were of course empty at this time of night, still the Living Force was strong, and even though, or just because, the plants and ground were covered with a sheen of white, it was eerily beautiful out here, Obi-Wan thought, with the moonlight and the stars making the snow glow white and silver.

He slung Qui-Gon's cloak and boots over his shoulder and hid his hands in the sleeves of his own robe, wishing he'd had the presence of mind to put on his tunics, for he was wearing only his sleep pants and his boots beneath the cloak, and he was starting to get cold. He hoped he'd find his errant lover soon.

He hadn't even finished the thought when he did just that.

His first impulse was to stare. Qui-Gon was kneeling in meditation, bare chest, bare feet, moonlight and the reflections from the snow playing over his sculpted torso and face.

His second impulse was to curse. Qui-Gon would catch his death out here. He really wanted to give his stubborn lover a piece of his mind, then wrap him in his cloak and arms and get him back to bed, but since it was horribly bad manners to disturb meditation, he went with his first impulse and just looked.

His gaze travelled over the body and face he loved so much, and for the millionth time he wondered why Qui-Gon couldn't see what he saw. He knew the other Padawan didn't believe him when Obi-Wan went into detail about how beautiful he thought Quiggs was. His lover only tended to laugh off such notions and then kiss him until he shut up.

Qui-Gon's bare chest rose and fell with his steady breath, the bright light from the snow and the moon accentuated every muscle of that chest and these arms Obi-Wan loved to kiss and touch, made the skin he loved to run his hands over glow with a light that seemed to come from the inside of Qui-Gon's very being.

Obi-Wan smiled. He could spend hours like this, just watching his lover. He had done so frequently, especially in the beginning, when they weren't lovers yet, Obi-Wan had used unobserved moments to just look his fill. Now that he was allowed to look, he did so openly, oftentimes faking going to sleep, then turning around to just watch. Gaze. Take in all the glorious details about Quiggs. He wasn't allowed to stare in public, so he made up for it in private. Closing his eyes, he recalled a conversation he'd had with Quiggs not long after they'd got together, barely six months ago.

~~"What in the name of the Force are you staring at?"

"You."

A raised eyebrow and a frown. "Whyever?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "Because I'm in love with you, you idiot. Why else?"

Qui-Gon smiled back at him with shy pleasure and shifted in the chair he occupied to do his required reading so that Obi-Wan would have a better view. "Well, in that case…"~~

Obi-Wan chuckled at the memory. It had been so hard for Qui-Gon to believe that Obi-Wan was really in love with him and just as overwhelmed by the feeling as he was.

He now hardly remembered his scores of lovers, and sometimes even regretted sleeping around that much before he'd met Quiggs, but most of the time practicality ruled over sentiment. It had been helpful that one of them was experienced, and he admitted that sexually challenging Quiggs was fun. Not to mention making him squirm. Or beg.

"Are you going to stare at me all night with that grin of yours, Kenobi, or were you going to speak to me as well at some point?" Qui- Gon hadn't even opened his eyes to speak. Obi-Wan grinned even more broadly and moved closer, but his smile faded when he saw dried tear-tracks on his lover's face.

He moved swiftly and squatted down behind Qui-Gon, putting his legs at either side of Qui-Gon's and snaking his hands around the slim waist, resting his cheek on his lover's back and wrapping his robe around the chilled form in front of him. Qui-Gon tensed a bit, but didn't pull away. Neither did he lean in, though.

"You're cold. Come back to bed, " he whispered, pressing a kiss to a cold shoulder.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I'm not finished here."

"Doing what?"

Qui-Gon swallowed. "I… just came out here to think."

"About what?" Obi-Wan's voice was very quiet. He didn't want to pry, but seeing Quiggs sad made his heart hurt.

Qui-Gon held up his hand and Obi-Wan saw a stone lying on his palm. It was black with red streaks running through its smooth surface. Even from a distance Obi-Wan could sense that it was Force-sensitive.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"My Master gave it to me on my last birthday with him. I carry it with me wherever I go." Qui-Gon's voice had a far away sound.

"Why have I never seen it before, then?" Obi-Wan wondered.

"Because normally I keep it in a pocket of my robe. But tonight, I used it as a meditation focus."

Obi-Wan leaned his chin on Qui-Gon's shoulder, cursing the fact that he couldn't see the other Padawan's eyes. He turned Quiggs' head around with his hands and traced the tear-tracks with his fingertips. "What were you meditating about?"

He felt the breath leave the body he was pressed against in a huge sigh. "Today was the first anniversary of my Master's death."

"Oh. I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry." Obi-Wan's hold on his lover tightened. "And that's why you're out here?"

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Yes and no."

He still didn't react in any way to Obi-Wan's physical hold on him, neither drawing back from nor leaning into his lover's touch.

Qui-Gon's voice took on a tough quality, as if what he had to say was very difficult to pass through his throat. "I could have meditated in our rooms. I'm out here because I wanted to be alone. I had to get away from you."

Obi-Wan tensed. Ouch.

"I see," he whispered, drew back, disentangling his arms from Qui- Gon's, and stood up.

He was about to take a step away from Qui-Gon and leave the other Padawan alone when an arm grabbed him.

"Obi-Wan." No more than a whisper. "I didn't mean that the way it came out. Don't go." A pause. "Please."

Obi-Wan sighed and let himself be pulled down into Qui-Gon's lap. Arms went around him and held on tightly.

His own arms wound around Quiggs' neck and his hands settled in his hair. His cheek came to rest against Qui-Gon's, damp now with fresh tears.

Obi-Wan swallowed. "How did you mean it then?" He tried not to sound hurt or accusing, but he feared it was a losing battle.

Qui-Gon drew back and looked at his eyes. The sheer warmth and love Obi-Wan could see in these eyes made his throat tight. Quiggs ran his hair through Obi-Wan's hair. "My Master died a year ago, and when we were lying in bed together up there, all I could think about was how wonderful the moonlight made you look and how warm you were sleeping against me. How peaceful it all was. How happy I am with you."

"I don't understand." Obi-Wan was both deeply touched and confused.

Qui-Gon sighed. "My Master is dead. He died protecting me. And I'm happy. Happier than I ever was or ever thought I could be and all because of you. I thought if I could just get away from you, I'd be able to mourn him properly, but I couldn't focus on grieving." He smiled without humour. "I'm too happy to mourn my Master. I'm a fine Padawan, aren't I?" Qui-Gon's voice sounded harsh in the silence of the garden.

Obi-Wan ran his hands through Qui-Gon's hair and held his head still so he could look into his lover's eyes. "Quiggs, your Master would be the last person to begrudge you your happiness. From what you told me, the man loved you with all his heart. Don't you think he'd want you to be happy and not mired in grief and sadness?"

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Of course he would want me to be happy, but you don't understand. I even almost forgot that today is the anniversary of his death. It's said that the dead are always with us through the Force, and I just don't want him to think that I've forgotten about him just because I'm happy with you."

Obi-Wan smiled tenderly. "You could never forget him. He raised you, taught you, made you the man you are today. He is in everything you do. You honour him with your dedication, your hard work, and your passion for life. He will always be a part of you simply because you loved him. And if he's truly watching you, he'll know that and will be glad that you're living a good life even after he's gone."

A tear trickled down Qui-Gon's cheek as he reached up to cup Obi- Wan's face with one hand. "I wish you had known him. You would have liked him a lot, and he you. He was the most caring and kind man I've ever known and he always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better, just like you."

Obi-Wan wiped the tear from Quiggs' cheek. "It's all right, love. I'm here. You can let go."

Sighing, Qui-Gon buried his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder and tightened his hold on his lover. For a long time, they just sat there, Obi-Wan cradling Qui-Gon against him, hands stroking the Padawan's hair.

Qui-Gon's shoulders began to shake and a sob tore through his body. Obi-Wan held on tightly.

His robe got wet with his lover's tears, but he didn't pay it any mind, he carried on holding and cradling his lover and whispering soothing nonsense into his ear, while Qui-Gon cried.

After what could have been hours, days for all that Obi-Wan cared, the storm passed. Qui-Gon drew back, eyes red and puffy, cheeks wet. Obi-Wan used the sleeve of his robe to clean his lover's face.

"Better?" he whispered.

Qui-Gon managed a watery smile. "Much. Thank you, love."

Obi-Wan smiled and tenderly touched his lips to Qui-Gon's. Qui-Gon pulled him closer and deepened the kiss.

A little cold drop hit Obi-Wan's nose and he turned his eyes to the sky. Smiling into Qui-Gon's kiss, he drew his robe tighter around the both of them.

It had started to snow again.

End