Master Apprentice
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Category: A/U, Romance, Angst, Q/O
Rating: R (for adult themes)
Spoilers: For all movies, including TPM, and the JA books.
Archive: Nowhere right now, thanks. :-)
Disclaimer: Lucas owns 'em, we don't. Damn.
EXILES SERIES: In an alternate universe set fifteen years after the events in The Phantom Menace, two Jedi live in hiding on the desert planet of Tatooine, awaiting a child's destiny. Will they survive to see a new hope come to fruition?
JOURNALS -- : The Journal of Anakin Skywalker-- On Kossuth, from another point of view.
This interlude is for LC, who asked for one from Anakin's POV. :-)
My name is Anakin Skywalker and I'm recording this in the journal I received for my eleventh naming day. This was a gift given to me by my masters Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and they told me I can record whatever I want in it.
I can also put a lock code on it, so the thoughts in here will always be mine to keep.
My other gifts included a new tunic and robe, a metal hook chain for my saber, a new game for my datapad (Draigon Hunt, my favorite!) and some other things.
I was glad to leave the big temple, in fact I don't think I was ever happier to leave somewhere. I didn't tell Master Obi- Wan, but I didn't like being there. No one liked me, not even the other padawans. I kept beating them at saber practice and flight trials and this made them angry, although it wasn't my fault.
They were only happy when they beat me and I was going to let them win, just a few times, but Master Obi-Wan told me that making friends was less important that becoming a Jedi. I think that's easy for him to say, especially since he has lots of friends and has Master Qui-Gon who likes him better than anyone else in the whole galaxy, but I guess since he's the master, he must be right.
Besides, the padawans here on Kossuth seem to like me a little bit. Maybe it's because they don't spar with me. I'll have to wait and see.
I like my new room, it has a wizard firehearth... oops, I'm not allowed to say that. It has a very nice firehearth and I can put as much wood in it as I want to and Master Qui-Gon got me lots and lots of blankets because he knows how cold I get.
I'm not used to all these planets, they are never warm enough for me. They always seem dark too, but Master Obi-Wan says I'll grow used to the lesser light of one sun one day.
One sun. Gungans! I never thought about worlds that had just one sun.
Ooops. I'm not supposed to say "Gungans" either.
Anyway, I still have my picture of Padme, I keep it here next to my saber and my favorite starship model, the Keltian Cosmos. It's a fighter ship that's built for one, but maybe one day I'll modify it so it can fly two.
Then I'll take Padme for a ride and show her the whole galaxy.
I think she'd like that.
Today Master Obi-Wan said he's going to let me spar with him, but only for an hour. After that I have to study my history, which I wasn't doing very well in at Temple. All those old dates and names and it's so boring, I can hardly stay awake, but I know that's no excuse.
A Jedi's mind is more important than his saber, says Master Qui-Gon, and since he's Obi-Wan's master, he must be right.
I miss Mama. I hope she doesn't worry half as much about me as I do about her, because she'll never get any work done if that's the case. I hope Watto doesn't make her work doubly hard because I'm not there.
Someday ... someday, when I'm a knight, I'm going to go back to Tattooine and I'm going to walk into Watto's shop and take my Mama out with me, and no one will even think of stopping me, because I'll be a Jedi knight.
She'll be so proud of me, and I'll take her back to live here with us. She'll be cold too I'll bet, but I'll give her my blankets. I won't need them by then, since "the Force keeps us warm from within" my masters say, and I'll have learned all I need to know.
Now, I have to get ready for sparring, Master Obi-Wan thinks that lateness is "very bad manners for anyone, especially a Jedi" so I have to hurry.
Tomorrow I'll use the recorder to write my thank you notes with. It's hard to write them, it takes me forever, but Master Qui-Gon is very patient when he sits with me as I do them.
Writing is hard when you do it for other people. Really, really hard.
Oh, well. At least I won't have to write one to Chancellor Palpatine for that book he gave to me as a naming day gift.
He told me not to bother.
It's such a weird book, it smells funny and I think it's really old. I wonder if I should show it to Master Qui-Gon -- it's so strange and the pictures inside are kind of scary. All knights getting killed with sabers and men in dark hoods and ugly symbols. Maybe it's a history book.
Oh, no ... then I'll have to study it.
Yuck. I think I'll just put in my drawer and forget about it for now. I can always pull it out later and read it, but not today. Maybe not tomorrow either.
Oh, wizard! I'm almost late for saber practice. Gungans!
Ooops.
Standard Date 187976763-87762
The Jedi Academy at Kossuth
I made tea for my masters this morning, and they both looked really tired and sad. Master Qui-Gon especially and I got a funny feeling when I looked at him, that same funny feeling I get when I know something's going to happen. I get it more than ever now, Master Obi-Wan calls it pre ... prescy ... prescience. I think that's how you spell it.
I wonder if that bad thing that happened at Temple is still bothering them. I still don't know what happened exactly, Master Qui-Gon said that there was "no need for details" but I know that all the other padawans thought it was very funny, and said nasty things about my master all day long.
I didn't understand half the things they said, but I know they were mean.
My stomach started to hurt at breakfast, the funny feeling was just awful and Master Obi-Wan said he felt it over our training bond and then they both stopped looking sad, and took care of me instead. Master Qui-Gon got up and said he'd take me to the healing room, which is where we are waiting now for the master healer to get back from the northern quarters.
I actually feel a little better now, but I'm not going to say anything. I'll let the healer look at me, and he can look at Master Qui-Gon too, since we are here anyway.
I don't want that funny feeling to come back, that's all.
Standard Date 187976763-87762
The Jedi Temple at Kossuth
It's nighttime now, and the healer said I was well enough. He examined Master Qui-Gon too and said he wanted to see him again tomorrow. Master Qui-Gon looked a little annoyed, but in the end, agreed.
I think he was hurt more on Naboo than he lets on. It was a horrible wound, I remember when I came back from the space battle how terribly worried everyone was, and how sick Master Obi-Wan looked.
It hurt me to look at his face, it was this awful gray color, and I didn't know what to do. He wouldn't talk to me, instead he knelt for hours on end and told people he was meditating, but I know now he wasn't.
He was thinking, thinking about what he would do if Master Qui-Gon died.
And they weren't good thoughts.
I don't know how I know this, I just do. Maybe it's because we are so close now -- I swear I can almost hear what he's thinking sometimes -- or maybe I'm just guessing and I'm all wrong.
It's hard to tell.
At least Master Qui-Gon will get to see the healers now, maybe every day. He has to live, and live for a long time, to make sure that Master Obi-Wan stays happy. I couldn't bear to have an unhappy master, that would be the worst thing I can imagine.
Master Qui-Gon tucked me into bed tonight and we talked like we always do at nighttime. He knows I don't need to be put to bed, but this is our special time together. Sometimes I get a story, other times he makes a joke or sometimes he lets me just talk and he listens.
Either way, it's one of my favorite parts of the day.
Tonight he noticed that I'd put my picture of Padme out on the night table. He mentioned how pretty she was and I almost told him about my dreams that she's in, the ones where we are grown up and she's standing next to me on the stairs of her palace and it's raining flowers.
Millions and millions of flowers and she's more beautiful than any of them.
I don't know why, but I asked him if he thought I would get bonded one day, the way that he and Master Obi-Wan are.
He smiled at me, and said that he hoped I would, and prayed I'd be as happy as he was.
"But, you don't always look happy," I said, too fast, and I was sorry I said it.
His smile faded a little. "Well, in bonds, as in life, there are stressful moments, this is true, Ani. But, the good times, far and away make up for any of the bad ones." He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "A bond makes life sweeter, and even the hard times are easier for it." He stood up and smiled again. "Now, I think you should get some sleep, and if I'm not mistaken, I think I have an idea about who'll be showing up in those dreams of yours tonight."
I felt my face go hot at this and got under my blanket real fast.
He just laughed a little and shut the lights, leaving a small one on in case I woke up in the middle of the night, especially now that I was in a strange place, one I still have to get used to.
He was right though. I hope I dream about Padme, and together, we'll be standing under that rain of flowers, and she'll be so happy, and her eyes will shine brighter than both of Tattooine's suns.
I just hope I don't dream about the dark man like I used to.
I don't want to see him ever again.
finis
On to Book Eight
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