Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are sent to the planet Laos to
negotiate a treaty, and the two experience some difficulties in
their relationship.
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys, so don't sue me.
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1.
Since he was a young boy, his dream was always to be a Jedi, to
master the arts of the Force and to have people look at him
with respect. He had always been a hard worker, doing
everything that he could to obtain that one goal that had
spawned the adventure of his life. When he was first enrolled
in the Academy, it was like a whole new world for him, a world
full of wonder and enchantment, and full of mysterious
traditions and regal honour. It wasn't an easy life, and when
he was growing up he was daunted by the fact that his childhood
dream wasn't to come true without full devotion to the laws of
the force and the wills of the Council. At this point, he was
starting to think that he'd never be a full Jedi.
He sat on his bed in the small chambers of the spaceship, his
head in his hands as he tried to grasp ahold of his thoughts.
They kept slipping through his fingers, and he felt the edges
of the force as though it was mocking him. He was having much
difficulty calming himself this night, and when he'd tried to
meditate he had no success in calming the waves of his mind. It
had been this way for so many years as he'd been growing up,
and each time he'd been able to stifle the immaturity of his
spirit, it crept up on him again and he was left in this
position, unable to become what he tried and yearned for.
At once he felt despair, looming deep in the recesses of his
heart. He was so tired of it all, the training, the endless
pounding and repetition of the same mantra over and over again
in his mind. Serenity... love... compassion... all these things
are the way of the force. So many times Yoda's words had
repeated themselves within him; fear leads to anger, anger
leads to hate, hate leads to suffering...
He was angry. He admitted it, to himself, because he was angry
at himself. He could never reach the goals he set himself. When
once he complained about this to Master Yoda, the only response
was that he was not to set goals too high to achieve. That left
the young man frustrated, and so he launched himself again and
again into his work, but the ends were always the same. In one
place or another, he would sit on a bed, with his head in his
hands and tears stinging his eyes.
"Obi-Wan," came a smooth voice on the intercom.
Obi-Wan jerked his head up, his eyes wide, and hastily wiped
the tear tracks from his face. He cleared his voice, and pushed
the button on the intercom next to the bed. "Yes, Master?"
"May I come in?"
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and berated himself for a fool, then
pushed the button again. "Of course," he replied.
The door whooshed open, and in stepped the tall figure of his
Master and mentor, Qui-Gon. He carried this air of power about
him, despite his nondescript appearance, with the simple robes
of the jedi falling gracefully over the powerful frame of his
body. His arms were crossed in his sleeves and he bowed his
head at his apprentice in greeting.
Obi-Wan stood up, inclining his head to his Master. "Can I do
something for you, Master?" he asked politely, his eyes
innocent as a line creased his brow.
Qui-Gon nodded, sitting down in the chair that was the one
other piece of furniture in the room. "Sit down, Padawan."
Obi-Wan sat down nervously, clasping his hands together between
his knees. He knew that tone of voice... it was distinctly
displeased. The use of the term "padawan" probably meant that
he'd done something wrong. Again. Every day, his Master managed
to find some reason or another to critique the young man, but
little did he know that every criticism stung as deeply as a
wound to his heart.
"Young man, do you realize that right now you're projecting
loud enough for a Dug to hear you?"
A horrified expression began to drain onto Obi-Wan's features,
as much as he tried to keep his feelings from showing on his
face.
"Not only that, but those thoughts are full of feelings that
lead to the dark side of the force. I sense a deep angst within
you, young Padawan, and you know these feelings can only lead
to the dark side."
Obi-Wan didn't even hear the rest of what Qui-Gon said. He
stopped listening as he focused inwards, trying his very best
to calm the feelings of despair and self-loathing, and to stop
the tears that so wished to leak to his eyes. He shoved up the
walls of his mind immediately, but no matter how much he tried
to quell the feelings within him, they still hovered in his
mind, threatening to kill him.
When finally Obi-Wan looked up again at Qui-Gon, he had
finished speaking, and was watching Obi-Wan intently. When they
met eyes, Qui-Gon seemed to concede something to himself,
nodding to himself and looking away and absently watching the
room around him.
"We have much to do, you and I," he said finally. "Tomorrow we
arrive at Laos, and we shall have to negotiate with the
Ambassador. You must be prepared." He did not meet eyes with
Obi-Wan as he stood and walked from the room, carrying his
grace with him in his footsteps and the rustle of his cloak.
Obi-Wan flopped down on his bed with a sigh, once again
covering his face with his hands, digging his nails into his
eyes as he rubbed them savagely. Eventually he rose and
prepared himself for sleep, though he would see little of
dreams that night.
The Ambassador was not at all what he had expected. He was a
short, pudgy man with a beard dripping with ale and a most
disconcerting appearance. He sat in the chair at the end of the
table, eating the dinner laid out before him like a madman. The
two Jedi were seated across from each other at the table, each
eating in a more... dignified... fashion.
"Laos doesn't want no treaty, guys," the Ambassador said with a
mouth full of chicken. He waved about a drumstick in one hand,
and gestured wildly with the other. "You're always walking
around with your noses stuck in the air. You think you're so
great, but you're not. You haven't offered us all that much in
this treaty, and you expect us to take it just because you're
here with your light sabers on your hips, eh? Well, sorry to
burst your bubble." He finished this off with a burp. Obi-Wan
started, and stared with disgust at the man before him. He was
most obviously drunk.
"Are you saying, then, that you don't wish to be a member of
the Senate anymore, fair Ambassador?" Qui-Gon asked calmly as
he cut through the meat with his knife, raising a morsel to his
mouth. Obi-Wan came back into himself, berating himself for
showing his emotions, and started eating again.
"What I'm saying, jerk-off, is that you can go stick that
treaty up your ass. I'm not saying nothing about the rest of it
all."
Obi-Wan forced himself not to show his utter shock at the
disrespect this man was showing his Master. He bit his lip hard
enough to draw blood, then closed his eyes and licked his lips,
opening them a moment later as anger for this disgusting man
flooded him momentarily, then was gone. Feeling a hand on his
knee, Obi-Wan looked up to see a warning look that only he
would recognize in his Master's eyes.
"I suggest that you choose your words more carefully,
Ambassador. We are delegates of the Senate, and any insult to
us is an insult to the Senate. Perhaps you wish to wait until
tomorrow to continue our discussions, when hopefully you would
be a bit more sober."
Obi-Wan took a deep gulp of the wine in front of him, feeling
its intensity flare up within him. He hadn't been expecting it
to be so strong, but was pleased that it was. He was once again
feeling deeply ashamed and embarrassed from the rebuke that had
been in his Master's eyes. His Master was very likely the most
powerful Jedi in the Universe, and his opinions meant more than
any other's three fold to Obi-Wan. He was a man that Obi-Wan
had hoped he could become friends with, and they had become the
deepest of friends, and yet their was a rift in their
relationship. Obi-Wan had this perception of Qui-Gon that was
quite unearthly, but he was only a man. Obi-Wan's refusal to
see this and his blind devotion to this man was what forced him
to constantly rebuke the young man.
The Ambassador pounded his fist on the table, and Obi-Wan found
himself once more staring at the man, this time not so steadily
as fire pumped through his veins. "And what respect are you
showing me, Jedi? Declaring that I don't have my spirits about
me... you make me disgrace myself!"
"That wouldn't be too difficult," the rebellious Jedi muttered
under his breath, flicking a glance to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan
abruptly closed his mouth, realizing it had been hanging open.
Obi-Wan covered his mouth with a hand, stifling a smile brought
on by the drink in his veins.
"And your boy doesn't look too sober, neither!"
Obi-Wan puffed out his chest, rather proud that he was able to
keep himself from laughing. He saw the reproving look of his
Master from across the table, but abruptly it didn't matter.
All his pretenses left him with the fire within him, and his
eyelids drooped as he watched his Master.
Qui-Gon stood up regally, looking down on the two drunk idiots.
"I believe our negotiations for the evening have come to a
close. Please, allow us to excuse ourselves."
Obi-Wan hastily came to his feet, bobbing his head at the wise
words of his Master. When Qui-Gon headed for the door, Obi-Wan
followed, his usually stiff movements turned to liquid from the
drink as his hips swayed with the gait he always suppressed for
the sake of appearances.
Qui-Gon said nothing to Obi-Wan as they walked through the airy
passages of the stone palace. In fact, he said nothing at all
until they had reached Obi-Wan's room. He stopped to go inside,
when Qui-Gon's hand tugged on Obi-Wan's tunic as he half-led,
half-dragged the drunken Jedi to his room. When they arrived at
Qui-Gon's room, the bigger man shoved Obi-Wan inside. Obi-Wan
stumbled, then straightened up with a chagrined look on his
face. Abruptly it turned to surprise, when he saw the splendour
of this room - it was twice the size of his own! And he had a
beautifully hand-woven rug on the floor! And his BED! It was
positively gigantic!
Obi-Wan whirled to face Qui-Gon, lurching abruptly and almost
falling over. "Mashter, your room isth BIIIIIG!" he said with a
grin on his face.
Qui-Gon stood with his arms crossed over his chest, staring
quite pointedly at his apprentice. "What exactly do you think
you are doing?" he asked very slowly, very carefully
pronouncing his words.
"Mashter, isth not ma faul' - ah only took a zip!"
Qui-Gon shook his head to himself then abruptly looked skyward
and asked "Why me?" with widespread arms.
"Becuz... you'se da best!!" Obi-Wan giggled, falling backwards
onto the bed. "You big, you strong, you sexxxthy!" He burst out
into wild laughter, his eyes tearing up.
"Stop it at once!" Qui-Gon snapped, his eyes wide open as he
looked at his apprentice. "I will have no more of this. You
have very possibly jeopardized our entire mission, you dolt! Do
you have any idea how powerful this Ambassador is?"
Tears of shame suddenly filled Obi-Wan's eyes, and he bit his
lip. "He's gross," he said finally, trying to keep his tears
from spilling.
"That is not for you to judge!" Qui-Gon roared. "You are my
apprentice, not the other way around! You follow MY lead, and
you listen to MY words. Did you ever see me take a sip of that
foul liquid? NO. Why? Because it's powerfully potent! And YOU
are powerfully STUPID!"
The tears let loose on his cheeks, as Obi-Wan turned his face
aside. He could not look at the face of his Master, the one
man, the only man, whose approval he seeked in earnest. The man
in whom's eyes he was bantha fodder more than half of the time.
He wished that he was someone else's apprentice suddenly,
someone he didn't love quite so much, someone who wasn't quite
so powerful - then he wouldn't be going on important missions
like this, and he wouldn't have to worry about making a fool
out of himself so much. He sobbed to himself, each of his
Master's words stabbing him.
Qui-Gon became very quiet as he watched Obi-Wan cry. It wasn't
often that Obi-Wan let out his emotions like this, at least
never in front of Qui-Gon's eyes, and it startled him somewhat.
Obi-Wan was so far ahead of the other apprentices his age,
Qui-Gon often forgot how young he really was. He was barely a
man, now, at 18 years of age. He was so unlike Qui-Gon at that
age... where Qui-Gon was openly rebellious and loud, Obi-Wan
was more softly spoken and quietly defiant. Qui-Gon had
disrespected his elders, and his Master, as often as he could -
whereas Obi-Wan treated Qui-Gon like royalty.
He was so beautiful, Qui-Gon realized with a start, as his eyes
softened somewhat. He felt guilty for being so harsh on him,
because he was young and he should be allowed to live his youth
through. He always criticized Obi-Wan for treating him more
like a legend than a man, and yet here he was doing the same
thing to Obi-Wan. He treated him so much like the Jedi he
wished him to become, that he lost the importance of the fact
that Obi-Wan was still a person, a human being, and he could
not be perfect.
Qui-Gon felt the urge to take the young man into his arms and
comfort him, but his sense of propriety stopped him and froze
him into his place, simply watching him. He was stilled by
Obi-Wan's beauty, something he'd been able to ignore up until
this point, as he curled up and avoided Qui-Gon's searching
eyes.
"You are dismissed," Qui-Gon whispered belatedly, still
watching Obi-Wan under half-lidded eyes.
Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet and rubbed his eyes with the back
of his arm, darting out of the room quickly before he could
embarrass himself further in front of his Master.
Obi-Wan didn't want to return to his rooms right away. Instead,
he wandered through the open patios of the stone palace of
Maalik, the capital city on the planet Laos. The Laossians were
generally a peace-loving people, people who enjoyed nature and
its beauty. All of their structures were very much like this
palace, constructed based on post-and-lintel philosophy. More
often than not, they left out walls where they weren't
necessary, and tended to avoid structures with more than one
storey.
Obi-Wan drifted into a garden, right there smack in the middle
of the palace. The roof ended for this square section, where
the dirt ground was not smothered by stone, and where life
teemed as it so wished. The plants were beautiful, several
trees with drooping purple flowers and plants with such a
fragrance that took Obi-Wan's breath away.
Stone benches were sporadically placed in the garden, and
Obi-Wan found his way over to one, sitting down on the edge. He
looked up at the sky above. The triplet moons of Laos were
beautiful in the night sky, and as Obi-Wan watched the stars in
the sky, he wondered how many of them he'd been to, and how
many still waited to be found. He thought of his Master, the
disapproval in his gaze and in his voice. Obi-Wan's thoughts
betrayed him, all too often. He could never think of the good
things, such as the warm smiles his Master reserved only for
him, no matter how few and far apart they were. He could never
think of the many laughs they'd had when they were training
together, when Obi-Wan managed to relieve Qui-Gon of his light
saber. No, all he could think about were the bad things, the
disappointment, the frustration, the heartache. No one could
spend as much time together as they did without getting annoyed
at each other, but nonetheless Qui-Gon's reactions to Obi-Wan's
little failures killed him a bit at a time.
A little animal scrambled up next to Obi-Wan on the bench,
lying down on its stomach. It looked rather weasel-like, and
was almost small enough to fir in the palm of Obi-Wan's hand.
It looked so soft, Obi-Wan thought to himself, mesmerized at
the little creature. It fur was like gentle down, thin and
impossibly soft, and it had a tail.
"You are a Jedi, aren't you?" the little thing asked.
Obi-Wan jerked, surprised, and did a double-take and looked
down at the little animal. "I am."
It seemed to smile, and rolled over onto its back. "I thought
so. You're not like the other Jedi, though."
Obi-Wan's brow creased, as he looked at the little thing. "What
are you? I've never heard of a creature like you, and I have
studied zoology extensively."
"As is expected, of course," it replied mockingly. "But I
wouldn't be in any Jedi books, because none of the Jedi have
ever seen me before. I wouldn't show my face to a Jedi unless I
wanted to die." It seemed to be grinning, if such a thing was
possible.
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. His
mind was still incredibly fuzzy from the drink he'd drunk
earlier. "Do you want to die, then?"
"No, silly, of course not!" it laughed.
"Then..." Obi-Wan didn't even finish his thought.
It rolled its eyes. "I told already, fair Knight, you're
different."
"I'm not a Knight," Obi-Wan mumbled absently, "only an
apprentice... how am I different?"
It shrugged. "I don't know everything. I only know the force
and what it tells me, and it tells me you're to be trusted." It
stuck out its tongue at Obi-Wan then abruptly stood and
scattered off into the brush.
"Wait!" Obi-Wan called helplessly after it. "How do you know of
the force?"
There was no reply.
Oh, great, Obi-Wan thought to himself. He'd just stumbled
across something very important, a creature the Jedi knew
nothing of, and a creature who knew of the force! A very
important discovery... and it was gone. Qui-Gon would be SO
proud.
Obi-Wan dejectedly got to his feet and headed back to his room.
"I am so sorry about that unpleasantness last evening. Perhaps
you'd care to continue our discussion in a most civil way?"
Qui-Gon ventured to the Ambassador, as they were once more
seated at the same table, this time eating breakfast.
It was just past dawn, and even so, the Ambassador was still
blissfully drunk. He must have started drinking early to get
into the kind of state he was in now. He was still insulting
the Jedi at every chance that he got, and he was just as
disgusting as he'd been the night before. He smelled foul, and
scratched at an armpit every few moments.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment, stilling his mind. He
isolated the pain of the headache caused by such a minimal
amount of alcohol from the night before, and absently wondered
how this foul man could drink so much of it and still live. He
opened his eyes once more, feeling slightly better than he had
before. He watched Qui-Gon as he spoke with the Ambassador,
relying on guile instead of the force to convince him to sign
the treaty. The Trade Federation would be able to negotiate now
with the planet's administration to find out a settlement for
the trading of precious lumber on this planet that a
neighboring planet was dearly needing.
It seemed to drone on and on, until breakfast was finished,
until hours passed, until lunch time came and went. Obi-Wan was
a passive observer, letting his Master take care of things as
he so wished. Obi-Wan was feeling absolutely terrible about
fouling up any of the possibilities, he just wished that
Qui-Gon would take care of everything and let Obi-Wan leave.
Being in the same room with Qui-Gon kept Obi-Wan's soul filled
with shame and guilt, and he could not stand to look in his
Master's eyes after he'd seen him cry the night before. Talk
about utter embarrassment.
The negotiations ended after lunch, when Qui-Gon finally got
what he wanted. He thanked the Ambassador extensively for his
patience and willingness to negotiate, though Obi-Wan did not
understand this as the Ambassador had been neither willing nor
patient.
They excused themselves, and Obi-Wan followed his Master out of
the chamber. Once they had gone scarcely a few feet, Qui-Gon
turned and faced Obi-Wan, who avoided his eyes.
"Obi-Wan."
"Yes Master?" he asked quietly.
Qui-Gon sighed. "You will not look at me, you will not walk
next to me, and the walls of your mind are as tight as a
floodgate."
"I thought that's what you advised me to do, Master."
Seeing as Obi-Wan was avoiding looking at Qui-Gon, he missed
the genuine smile that graced his features. It fled soon
enough, however, as Qui-Gon turned solemn once more. "My
Padawan, this is not good."
"I am sorry, Master."
He still refused to look at Qui-Gon, and seemed to be wilting
under his gaze. Qui-Gon sighed deeply. "Very well. We will
speak of this later, at a more appropriate time. For now, there
are still many things I need to discuss with the Ambassador -
boring details and meaningless words. I'm sure you'd feel
better if you had the afternoon to yourself, rather then
remaining in the presence of that man."
Obi-Wan bowed and started to walk away. Qui-Gon watched him
leave, with his stiff walk, his cloak drawn tightly around his
shoulders, his head facing the floor as he walked. This was no
good.
Obi-Wan ended up spending the afternoon in his room, sleeping.
He hadn't found much sleep the night before, and was grateful
that he was finally graced with good dreams. He slept right
through dinner, and when the droids asked Qui-Gon whether he
should be awakened, his Master advised them to let him sleep.
It was much later when Qui-Gon finally finished dinner with the
surly Ambassador, and made his way to Obi-Wan's room. When he
spoke his apprentice's name into the intercom, there was no
answer. The boy was still deep in sleep, no doubt. Qui-Gon
tried the door, and it opened easily with the push of a button.
The young man hadn't bothered to lock it, as usual. Typical.
Qui-Gon would have to have another discussion with him about
feeling too confident in unknown lands where he should keep his
wits about him and his head where it belonged.
When Qui-Gon entered the room, the sight before him was too
angelic for words. It took his breath away, to see his
apprentice in this state. His torso was bare, and he still wore
his pants from earlier in the day, obviously too tired to
divest himself of them. The thin white sheets were entwined
about him, as he lay on his side curled up in a fetal position.
His hands were tangled amongst the sheets, floating near his
face.
He suddenly spoke, his voice slugged with sleep. "Master..." He
flung his head from side to side, then abruptly stopped.
"Master. No, please! Don't be disappointed..." He moved his
body, spreading himself out more than seemed possible. His brow
creased even in sleep, as his mouth dropped words like pebbles.
"Love you... love you... don't be disappointed... Master...
disappointed... " Even in his sleep, a tear fell from his eye
and coursed its way down his cheek. "...love you."
Qui-Gon's breath caught in his throat as he watched his
apprentice in his sleep. He could not bear to wake him, for in
this form he looked so small, and so young. In a moment,
however, Obi-Wan came awake on his own. "Master!" he shouted
and sat up in bed, instantly locking eyes with Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon walked over to Obi-Wan's bed, and sat down on the edge,
watching Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan looked frightened at first, then
embarrassed, and he blushed.
"Have you... been here long, Master?" Obi-Wan asked as he once
more started to avoid Qui-Gon's eyes.
"A few moments."
Obi-Wan licked his lips. "I didn't... speak... in my sleep..."
Qui-Gon shrugged. "You said a thing or two."
Obi-Wan groaned inwardly and stuffed his face into a blanket.
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon said, watching his apprentice worriedly.
"Yes, Master?" Obi-Wan responded, his voice muffled as his head
was still stuffed into the blankets.
Qui-Gon put a hand on Obi-Wan's back, and spoke gently.
"Please, Obi-Wan, look at me."
Obi-Wan reluctantly pulled his head out of the blankets,
looking at Qui-Gon slowly. He was intensely aware of Qui-Gon's
hand, which had moved up to his shoulder.
"My friend, you know that I am proud of you, right? I am
constantly impressed by the maturity that you have when we have
to deal with delicate situations. The thing is... I have grown
to feel like you are half of me, my Padawan, and I know you and
what you're capable of. I just put you on a level that is so
much higher than everyone else, because I believe you are good
enough to exist on that level with me. Do you understand?"
Obi-Wan nodded, then bit his lip. "But Master, why must you
always criticize me for everything that I do wrong?" He looked
up sheepishly.
Qui-Gon smiled, and lifted his hand from Obi-Wan's shoulder to
stroke his cheek gently. "Because that is the only way to
improve. You must understand what you have done wrong before
you can avoid it in the future, do you not?"
"Can't you encourage me once in a while?"
Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile at the look in Obi-Wan's eyes.
He was so devoted, and you could see that all he needed was a
little boost, and he'd be the best Jedi that ever lived.
Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan into his embrace and held him tightly.
"You are amazing," he whispered into Obi-Wan's ear. The two
remained in embrace for long moments until finally Obi-Wan
pulled away.
"Thank you," Obi-Wan said simply, his eyes filled with volumes
of love and respect.
"You know," Qui-Gon said, "I don't know what I would do if I
didn't have you for an apprentice. You make my life so
entertaining... and I am truly glad to have been able to share
these years with you." He was smiling openly, something he
didn't often do, and Obi-Wan felt a light open up within him.
"You are such a joy, and I am so sorry if you don't realize how
much you complete me."
"Master?" Obi-wan breathed.
Qui-Gon nodded.
"Do you think you could stay with me, just tonight?"
Qui-Gon smiled. Ever since he'd been little, Obi-Wan had used
the same phrase each time he wanted Qui-Gon to sleep with him.
He'd been the sort of child that always loved to have a pair of
arms around him, and he felt much more secure when Qui-Gon was
there with him, especially when they were on foreign worlds
where he'd never been before.
But things were different now. Obi-Wan was no longer the child
he was then, he was a grown man, and it had been a long time
since Obi-Wan had asked this of Qui-Gon. However, Qui-Gon found
that he could not refuse those aqua eyes as they silently
demanded.
Qui-Gon nodded. He slipped off his cloak, draping it over the
chair next to the bed then climbing underneath the sheets
behind Obi-Wan, turning off the light as he did so. When
Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon's arms around him, he snuggled against the
chest of the bigger man, and it did not take long for him to
fall asleep. Shortly thereafter, Qui-Gon fell asleep with a
smile on his face.
2.
The next day was their final day on the planet, before they
were to head back to Coruscant. The day was spent in a huge
dining hall where the city was invited to dine with the Jedi.
It was local custom that the children and interested adults
could discuss things with the Ambassadors while they were here,
if they had a free moment. Obi-Wan approved of the custom, in
theory, but in practice, it proved to be a very long and tiring
day.
He met up with many different people who whisked him off to ask
him all manner of questions - and he found himself separated
from Qui-Gon quite early in the whole affair.
One particular group that pulled him aside was a group of
children, with pink-tinged skin and golden eyes, their hair all
grown as long as the floor. They were very bright and chittery,
and quite pleasant in nature.
"Have you ever fought with your lightsaber?" one boy asked him.
Obi-Wan nodded. "We try only to fight when it's absolutely
necessary, however."
"Do you love nature?" asked a girl.
"Of course. Nature is one of the most wondrous gifts of any
world - and when you get to see different worlds, you get a new
appreciation for its beauty."
"We think that you-"
"-are very pretty!" said a pair of twins, a boy and a girl.
They both laughed in twinkle-bell voices and ran off.
Obi-Wan's face shadowed amusement.
"Let's move along now, kids," said an adult that had suddenly
appeared from nowhere. She, too, had long hair and golden eyes,
which she winked mischievously at him as she gathered up her
children. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.
Obi-Wan returned to the grand dining table and found himself a
plate to fill with food. When he had done so, he sat down in an
empty chair and began eating. He'd been meaning to eat all
morning, since the food was so appetizing and there was so much
of it - but he'd been caught by so many people to speak that
the hours had sifted away.
"I will come with you," a small voice piped up right next to
Obi-Wan's ear.
Obi-Wan jerked up, surprised, and turned his face to see the
same little animal from the previous day, sitting on his
shoulder. "What are you?" he asked after a moment of confusion
registered on his face.
The little animal shrugged. "We don't have a name! You see, I
come from a people that live on their own, and don't like to
see outsiders. I left them, because the Force told me to - it
told me to find you. I don't know why!" He shrugged again,
smiling.
Obi-Wan was almost smiling, the little guy was so cute. He was
quite unlike many other of the "pathetic life-forms" he always
complained that Qui-Gon felt necessary to drag into their
missions - this little one actually seemed quite intelligent.
One of Obi-Wan's most frequent annoyances with his Master was
how he always felt the force was directing his every move, with
every creature they encountered. Nothing was left up to chance
- and so they often ended up trudging halfway around the galaxy
playing nanny to creatures with problems, while they were
supposed to be on diplomatic missions. Qui-Gon always felt that
this was a failing of Obi-Wan's, that he thought too much was
up to chance, and that he should pay more attention to the
"little people" because they count much more than one would
think.
"Well, then. Do you have your own name?" Obi-Wan asked over his
shoulder as the creature started playing with his padawan
braid. Obi-Wan started eating his food while the little guy
answered.
"I do. Would you like to know what it is?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
The little thing stood up on its hindlegs, puffed out its
chest, and proudly said, "Bluup!"
Obi-Wan cracked a smile, but managed to keep himself from
laughing. "That's a very nice name, I must say. My name is
Obi-Wan Kenobi."
It nodded and then crawled on top of Obi-Wan's head, lying down
there on its stomach. "You have very nice hair," it said,
making itself comfortable. "It's very soft, you must take care
of it very well."
"I have a little help."
"Oh?"
Obi-Wan nodded, careful not to dislodge the creature, though he
seemed firmly seated there. "My Master. My hair has somehow
been his pride. He speaks often on how a Padawan is a
reflection of his Master. Do you think that's true?" Obi-Wan
asked, rolling his eyes up, but unable to see Bluup.
"I do not know Jedi well. They are forbidden in our society,
evil. So, I cannot say whether you are a reflection of your
Master." It paused. "I am frightened to meet him, but I suppose
he is to be on this trip we are going on, correct?"
"Yes."
"Do you think he will hurt me?" Bluup asked after a pause.
"Of course not," Obi-Wan said seriously. "My Master is a truly
generous and giving man, and to the contrary, he will do
everything to ensure your safety."
"Hmm."
Obi-Wan finished eating his food just as another child came up
and climbed into his lap. Obi-Wan was a little surprised at
first, but the little boy seemed quite nice. He looked up at
Bluup with his big blue eyes, then he looked into Obi-Wan's
eyes deeply. He smiled from ear to ear, showing a set of
straight, white teeth, then promptly leaned forward and kissed
Obi-Wan on the cheek.
"My mama says I should show people that I love them, just to
make sure that they know."
Obi-Wan found a ghost of a smile tugging at the edges of his
lips as he watched the boy, so innocent and young. "Do you love
me?" he asked quietly, ruffling the child's silky black hair.
He nodded, bobbing his head up and down. "Yes, I do!"
Obi-Wan cocked his head to the side, watching him. "Why do you
love me?"
The boy snuggled up against Obi-Wan's chest, curling his legs
up and settling himself comfortably. "Because you love me."
Obi-Wan's brow furrowed as he watched the child. He opened his
mouth to speak, then closed it, settling his hand on the
child's back. "How do you know?" he finally whispered.
"I can feel it," came back the whisper, and the boy lifted his
hand and pushed open Obi-Wan's cloak, laying his small hand
upon Obi-Wan's tunic, just above his heart. "In here. You love
everything, and hate nothing." The boy then pulled Obi-Wan's
cloak back over himself, snuggling inside close to Obi-Wan.
"He, too, feels the Force," Bluup said quietly. "Only, he is
too weak to be a Jedi. He will do battle with no one."
Obi-Wan felt sympathy for the little guy, and put his arm
around him. "It is a difficult life," he said simply.
"I have watched this one for some time. His parents died when
he was very young, and now he lives with the priests of the
village. He will make a good priest some day, and that is his
path."
He'd fallen asleep already, the angelic face plain in the
simplicity of sleep.
It was then that Qui-Gon came to stand before Obi-Wan,
amusement evident in his features. "My young Padawan, it seems
you have made friends."
Obi-Wan smiled a little, then held a finger to his lips to
indicate silence, resting his hand once more on the boy's back.
"He sleeps, Master."
"So I see. He is lucky, to be in such a position."
Obi-Wan's eyebrows drew together in confusion, but Qui-Gon
waved away the unspoken question with a gesture.
"Nevermind. Do you realize what a sight you are? A dashing
young Jedi with a beautiful boy asleep in his arms and a furry
little creature dozing on his head - it's enough to draw the
oddest of eyes." Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan through amused eyes,
and the young Jedi studied him, then smiled.
"Master, when are we to leave?" he abruptly asked, changing the
subject.
Qui-Gon turned his glance away, looking back in the direction
of the palace, where their ship was docked. "All too soon, I am
afraid. I came to search you out, because we leave as soon as
you're ready, now."
"Ah."
Obi-Wan looked down at the sleeping angel in his arms, and
decided there was no other way. He would have to wake him up.
Obi-Wan opened up his cloak, exposing the boy. He shook him
gently, hoping to rouse him, but it took more forceful prodding
before the child woke. When he did wake, he rubbed his eyes
with bunched up fists and yawned hugely. When he saw Obi-Wan,
his eyes lit up and he smiled.
"I must leave now, child," Obi-Wan said quietly.
He nodded, as though he already knew this, then smiled once
more. He hugged Obi-Wan fiercely, whispering, "I'm glad to have
met you," in Obi-Wan's ear. When he pulled back, he watched
Obi-Wan for a moment then leaned forward and planted a big wet
kiss on his mouth, before running away.
Obi-Wan blinked. "What a peculiar child," he finally says.
Qui-Gon chuckled. "Come along then, Obi-Wan. We do have to get
going."
Obi-Wan stood up and followed Qui-Gon dazedly.
An hour or so later, they were ready to board the ship. Obi-Wan
walked on board and tossed his small pack in his quarters,
sitting down on the small bed and sighing deeply. He was
exhausted from the day's events.
Bluup peeked out from where he had been hiding in Obi-Wan's
short, spikey hair. "I am scared," he said simply and jumped
down onto Obi-Wan's shoulder.
Obi-Wan turned and watched him. "Does he not seem like a nice
man?"
Bluup shrugged, then sat down. "He is a Jedi, and that scares
me. What is his name?"
"Qui-Gon Jinn."
Bluup closed his eyes, musing silently.
"Do you not trust that I love him very much, so he must be a
nice enough person?"
"And who do you love so much, Obi-Wan?" came a voice from the
open doorway, as Qui-Gon came to check up on him.
"Ah..." Obi-Wan looked from Qui-Gon to Bluup and back again,
then bit his lip.
Bluup jumped down off Obi-Wan, and scrambled over to the edge
of the bed. "You see, this is why I like not you Jedi. You are
not honest enough, even amongst yourselves. You keep secrets
that should not be kept. Kenobi, you love Jinn, but would never
tell this to him to his face. You love him deeply, but because
you lie to yourself this love is turned into angst. This is
bad! You Jedi toy with the dark side, even when you know it
not!" Bluup abruptly ran from the room, skittering across the
floor very quickly for a creature smaller than the palm of a
man's hand.
Silence stirred the air, as Obi-Wan watched where Bluup had
just disappeared with a look of distaste on his face, and as
Qui-Gon curiously watched his student.
Qui-Gon closed the door with the touch of a button, then turned
to face his Padawan. "Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan looked up at Qui-Gon, and flushed involuntarily. "Yes,
Master?"
"It is time we talk." He walked over and sat down next to
Obi-Wan on the bed.
Obi-Wan sighed, scratching his head a little and turning to
face his Master, expecting there to be some kind of lecture
coming.
Qui-Gon faced Obi-Wan, folding his hands in his lap and looking
pointedly into Obi-Wan's eyes. "Padawan. Have you been keeping
secrets from me?"
"They were simply feelings, Master," Obi-Wan protested. "If I
were to reveal to you the nature of them, they could have
seriously complicated the missions that we've been on
recently."
"Then this isn't something sudden." Qui-Gon had this incredible
ability to school his face to show no emotion, and Obi-Wan
didn't dare probe his mind, so the young Padawan was forced to
tell the truth without knowing what fate lied in that
direction.
"No, Master." He bowed his head, feeling slightly mortified.
"How long have you had these feelings for me?"
Obi-Wan sighed, looking within himself. He'd loved his Master
for so long, how could he discriminate within his own mind when
that love had changed, and evolved into the depth of feeling
that it was now? He tried to think of an event that could mark
the change, but there was no such event. It had been a slow
change, that had been going on for longer than a year now. Much
longer, perhaps. "A year, maybe two. It is difficult for me to
discern exactly when my feelings changed towards you, Master."
Qui-Gon's voice was controlled, completely emotionless as he
asked these extremely intimate questions. "Are the feelings
purely emotional, or physical as well?"
Obi-Wan's temper flared for the briefest of moments, before it
ebbed just as abruptly as it had begun. He swallowed thickly
and grated out, "both" between clenched teeth.
"I see."
When he said nothing more, Obi-Wan found himself looking up at
his Master, where he sat so close and yet so far away.
"Obi-Wan," he said slowly. "I cannot tell you what I wish to
tell you, nor can I take you into my arms and claim your love
as my own. I wish that I could tell you how much I love you in
return, how every time I lay my eyes upon you I feel as though
I'm looking at an angel, and I cannot tell you that I have
feelings for you that match and most likely surpass yours in
strength."
"I sincerely doubt-"
Qui-Gon held up a hand for silence, snubbing off his Padawan.
"I will not kiss you or I fear I will fall in love with you
even more deeply than I already have. I will not make love with
you, and I will not tell you of how I have already been in love
with you, ever since I saw you had shed the shell of youth and
grown into a man that is dashing and intelligent, and full of
promise. No, I will not tell you any of these things, because
if I did, the Council would have my tongue."
Qui-Gon's eyes glittered, and a smile tugged at the edge of
Obi-Wan's lips as he realized Qui-Gon had just slyly evaded the
Council's rules once more.
"Padawan... it is because of this, the relationship between
Master and Padawan, that I may not tell you any of those
things, and I may not take you into my arms as I might wish.
That fate is in the hands of the Council, and I daresay they
very seldom grant a blessing to a Master/Padawan relationship.
I fear that for the time being, my young friend, we will have
to do a lot of proving before we may confess our feelings to
each other." Qui-Gon's eyes were alight with mischief, and
Obi-Wan found himself grinning.
"Then, if I may say so, Master - if we were, in the slight
chance that it is, to have such a relationship approved - you
would be willing to give me your love?" Obi-Wan allowed a small
spark of hope ignite within his chest.
Qui-Gon's smile faded, as he let his face become absolutely
serious. "More than willing."
Obi-Wan bit his lip to keep from smiling, but he felt a flower
blossoming in his chest, all the same. "Thank you, Master."
Qui-Gon shook his head, a little solemnly. "Do not thank me
yet, my dear boy. There is many trials ahead of us - many of
which may not be pleasant. You may wish to withdraw the request
right now, and we will speak of it never again - for the trials
are extremely revealing. Almost like... a rape of the mind, an
intrusion, though not violent in nature."
Obi-Wan's expression sobered, and he forced himself to think of
it logically for a moment. Still, his spirit's flame won out
over all his thoughts. "I wish to bring this before the
Council, Master."
Qui-Gon nodded, looking a little relieved. "Very well." He
smiled to ease the tension, looking about the room. "So, tell
me now, who is this curious creature we have as our new guest?"
Obi-Wan frowned. Qui-Gon's chuckle echoed in the small room.
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