Warnings: No graphic sex (sorry), but kind of insinuates a m/m
sexual relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. This is really
just a 200-or-so word snippet but it's been running through my
head ever since I saw the movie this evening.
Summary: Obi-Wan's last thoughts as he battles Darth Vadar.
I wonder if He felt like this, at the end I mean. Did he reach
this point where he just knew that no matter how strong
the Force was inside of him, that he would not be walking away
from the fight?
No, Qui-Gon Jinn was a far better Jedi Knight than I.
Did he think of me as I'm thinking of him now? Or were his last
thoughts of the boy. The Boy. The boy who has become the
man...the Thing that is now ready to take my life, and
that of his son.
Is it my fault? Did I drive Anakin to this, by my jealousy, the
frustration I projected onto him? Is that why I am fated to die
by his hand? Is that why I am unable to channel the Force
within myself; focus on the moment as He would tell me to?
I do not know.
My body is tired, weak, an old man's body. I am so very tired.
Why aren't I moving? I need to protect the boy. I need to
protect Ana- Luke. I should have protected him. Two lost
Padawans.
And then...it's over. Yet I still feel no fear. Pain, yes, yet
no fear. Fear is the way to the Dark Side. Unbidden, the memory
of His voice, slightly slurred, still perfectly imitating
Master Yoda, speaking those exact words on some night long-past
when we had both indulged in far too much Genoan brandy.
Piercing, burning, straight through me, falling. The lightsabre
I helped young Ani make, as He had once taught me.
I feel the Force rising in me, pulling me apart and completing
me at the same time. A feeling lost, and nearly forgotten in my
waking hours since the last time He and I had come together
truly in love. Since the last time He touched me. I hear Luke
scream, so far away...
Oh Master...tell me you will be here to take me in your arms
once more.
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