Dust in the Wind
by Heidi (beaglepack@earthlink.net)
Category: POV,angst
Rating: PG
Pairings: Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon
Warnings: Post TPM but still canon, so beware. Also minor
spoilers for the first several JA books.
Summary: Obi-Wan finds peace on the planet he suffered his
greatest loss.
Archive: m_a, my web page and KoS
website: http://members.aol.com/Beagles4Us/fic.html
Feedback: yes, please, any comments welcome.
Disclaimer: All thing Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and we
bow to his greatness... Lyrics to "Dust in the Wind" belong to
Kansas.
Notes: This is a sequel to Ashes. Thanks to by beta readers
Bast, V and Zerena.
I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind...
Obi-Wan stood at the door of the transport ship waiting for the
final touchdown with Anakin by his side. The boy practically
vibrated with excitement. He and Queen Amidala had kept in
touch but the pair hadn't seen each other since he'd begun his
training. Obi-Wan, however, was nervous. It was the first time
he'd been back to Naboo since Qui-Gon's death. He had almost
refused the Queen's invitation but didn't think it was fair to
his young padawan to refuse based on his own lack of desire to
return to the place where he'd had the most precious thing in
his life taken from him, Qui-Gon.
The transport sat down with a jolt that caused the two Jedi to
lose their balance momentarily, then the door in front of them
began to move slowly, opening from the top downward. He could
feel Anakin's excitement and growing hesitancy with every meter
of daylight revealed in the opening of the door. Obi-Wan
reached out and settled a hand on his padawan's shoulder,
calming the boy as his master had done with him many times in
the past. The simple gesture also calmed his own apprehension.
Obi-Wan stood on the high knoll above Theed. He'd paid his
respects to the Queen upon their arrival and once they were
settled in their rooms, he saw understanding in her eyes when
asked if he might be allowed to borrow a speeder. She knew why
he was asking and even directed him to the spot he now stood.
The city looked beautiful in the setting sun, gleaming gold and
bronze.
He cleared his thoughts in a long practiced and almost
instinctual habit of taking a few deep breaths and letting
everything but the moment he was in disappear. He felt the
tranquility settle in him and knew it had been a long time
since he'd felt this at peace. Maybe coming here was the right
thing after all. He opened himself and let the living force
flow through him, taking energy from the land around him and
returning it back, all the while energizing himself and
clearing his mind even more. When he felt as though he were a
part of his surroundings, he slowly channeled the living force
back into the ground that gave it to him in the first place,
leaving only the feeling of a peaceful completeness behind.
He reached to his belt and pulled the tattered but still intact
brown cloth pouch from its resting place. Slowly he untied the
thong that once had tied his padawan braid and opened the
pouch. The faint breeze caught some of the ashes there before
Obi-Wan could close his hand around them, holding them in
place.
"Are you trying to tell me something, Master? Is it time for me
to stop mourning you and let you go?" Obi-Wan asked the wind.
Again the wind blew around his feet, causing waves to ripple
across the grass fields and the breeze passed down the hill.
'Yes, it was time,' Obi-wan thought to himself.
But before he released the last remaining physical connection
to his Master he allowed himself to reflect on the past and
looked once again at the cherished memories of his time with
his Master, his best friend, his lover.
He remembered his time on Bandomeer and the forging of the bond
between him and Qui-Gon. Gone now was the desperation he'd felt
of ever convincing Qui-Gon to take him as a padawan. Gone,
also, was the hurt he'd put them both through when he'd stayed
on Melina/Daan. In place of those feelings were the memories of
the first time Qui-Gon had called him 'his padawan' and when
his Master again called him 'apprentice'.
They had had so much to work through during those early years
-- betrayal and mistrust. But the bond that had formed between
them during those earliest days grew stronger with each passing
year until they each discovered that the friendship they formed
had become something more and they then joined as lovers. Each
new emotion added to their relationship and strengthened their
bond until at times they seemed to move as one, all the while
remaining separate with their occasional disagreements.
Obi-Wan knew he could stand there for eternity remembering the
time he spent with his Master. Every moment spent loving one
another or quiet companionship was ingrained in his memory. It
was the first time since he'd held Qui-Gon as he died he was
able to look at his memories of the older man and not feel the
stabbing ache of his absence. Maybe that was his purpose of
coming to Naboo again, to allow him to remember and take
comfort in the memories he held rather then feel the pain of
having them and the pain of Qui-Gon's death overshadowing it
all.
He squeezed the bundle in his hand one last time then
reluctantly opened his hand, holding it out away from his body,
letting the next gust of wind carry the remaining ashes and the
heavy wool cloth away from him. Unable to watch the ashes as
they scattered, Obi-Wan kept his eye on the brown cloth, the
last remnant of his final days with Qui-Gon as it rose and fell
in the thermal eddies of the wind.
"Good-bye, Qui-Gon," he whispered as the cloth fell from his
sight. He knew he would join him in the Force one day and until
then he would train Anakin and other padawans as he was once
taught. The last physical piece of his Master was gone but
Qui-Gon would always be with him in spirit.
The End
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