Don't "Padawan" Me!

by Leandra ( royc@gmx.at )

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG

Pairing: O/Q

Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi can still not deal with the rejection of his Master in front of the Council. Ever seen two Jedi bitching at each other? Here“s the chance. Meanwhile, Mace Windu and Yoda discover their love for "Channel 78."

Four.a.m. Coruscant. Complete, utter, peaceful, undisturbed silence lay upon the Jedi Temple. Human and non-human beings alike were sleeping deeply, recovering resources for the day to come. Suddenly a long wail disturbed the peaceful night.

"Master…" Obi-Wan groaned in frustration. "It didn't mean no disrespect, but couldn't you just have TOLD me!"

"Shh… lower your voice Padawan." the Jedi Master replied calmly. "Why do we need to have the same conversation over and over again since we came back from Naboo?" he asked, observing his pacing Padawan with an equal feeling of frustration, only he managed to mask it behind his so well erected wall of serenity.

Obi-Wan shot him a long look full of disbelief. "You rejected me in front of the Council!"

Qui-Gon sighed. "Yes. We have gone through this like thousand times in the last month. Can we just lay this topic down?" Despite his will to keep up his calm exterior, he was fuming inside and his voice level had risen a few decibel. Stubborn, yes that Obi-Wan was. Always had been.

"You admit it! You hurt my feelings." Obi-Wan cried out, running his fingers through his short hair.

"I refuse to argue this in the middle of the night!" Qui-Gon hissed, feeling the calmness slip away.

Obi-Wan stopped his pacing in front of his Master and raised on his toes, trying desperately to gain the same eye level as the tall man in front of him "You always refuse to argue this!"

Qui-Gon knew his apprentice too well, to not see the fury sparkling in the changeling eyes. "Calm down now! It doesn't suit a Padawan to speak to his Master in that manner!"

"Oh shut up, Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan snapped, turning around on his heel. He paced to the window and stood there, overlooking the temple garden. They sheer beauty of the blossomed bushes and trees failed his effect on the young man completely.

"Padawan…" Qui-Gon said sensually, approaching his fuming lover, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Obi-Wan brushed his hand away. "Don“t Padawan me! I'm not your Padawan anymore, remember ! You rejected me!"

"Oh could we please stop this topic!" Qui-Gon growled.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"PADAWAN!"

"DON`T 'PADAWAN' ME…!"

One level lower in the temple building, Yoda growled and slipped out of bed, reaching for his robe. He slid his robe on and then took his stick. "Stubborn they are both. And loud. Need to demand other quarters soon, I do."

He padded out of his rooms and knocked on the next door. A slightly cranky Mace Windu opened the door for the small Jedi Master.

"Come in Master Yoda. I expected you." He said, his voice sleepy, trying to hide a small hint of underlying anger.

The Jedi Master slipped under Mace Windu“s arm into his quarters, raising his head and twitching his nose, sniffling in the air.

"Tea, you have made." he stated approvingly.

"Yes Master. As always." he added sighing.

A loud thud from above let them both raise their eyes to the ceiling. Then they shared a long look.

"Killing each other, they will, if that problem isn't solved soon."

Mace nodded. "I thought we decided not to interfere, but…"

Yoda padded further into Mace's quarters and let himself fall on one of the big cushions spread across the floor.

"YOU JUST DON“T RESPECT ME!"

"BUT I DO!"

Yoda shook his head sadly, pointing with his stick to the ceiling. "A bad influence for the boy, they are. Glad, that we decided to put him with the others into the crčche until Qui-Gon“s Padawan he is, I am."

Mace brought two cups of tea with him and set one of it in front of Yoda. "I'm thinking about moving to the crčche too. You know, the crčche is on the other side of the temple building. Far away from those two."

Yoda snickered and reached for his tea. When another thud from above was heard, he could have sworn, that his tea cup was slightly shaking.

Mace noticed it too. "Someday my ceiling will come crashing down over my head. Do you think they throw around with furniture?"

Yoda gave him a stern look, but couldn't hide his own amusement.

"FINE. THEN GO. I DON`T BLOODY NEED YOU ANYWAY! I“M FACING MY TRAILS, REMEMBER!" the loud voice of Obi-Wan was heard, accompanied by the loud thud of a door being closed not too softly, which would be an understatement.

"Now this should be interesting." Mace muttered.

Obi-Wan stared at the door, that was still shaking slightly in its angles. He couldn't believe it! Qui-Gon had really left in the middle of the night, storming out in only his sleep leggings. He hadn't even stopped to reach for his robe, that hung orderly on a hook near the door. Without thinking he grabbed the robe and stormed to the balcony, stepping outside. He looked over the railing down in the garden. He knew Qui-Gon would pass on his way. He always visited the gardens to release his anger into the Force.

When he spotted his Master, whose long strides indicated his fuming anger properly, he flung the robe over the railing: "YOU FORGOT YOUR ROBE!"

Qui-Gon looked up and watched, as his robe landed halfway on the railing of Mace Windu“s balcony.

"GOOD JOB!" he cried back, his eyes blinking with anger. He really needed to release his anger into the Force or he would just go back up to his quarters and kill him.

"Padawan, you will immediately come down here and we will together meditate on this incident." he shouted up to where Obi-Wan was standing, leaning out of the balcony.

"NO! You really think I want to meditate with YOU after what had just happened?"

"Come down here. IMMEDIATELY!" Qui-Gon barked.

Yoda and Mace stepped out on the balcony and Mace draw a stool near, so that Yoda could overlook the scene below in the gardens better. He climbed on the chair and leaned on his stick, surveying the gardens.

Mace studied the robe that had landed on his balcony, but made no attempt to pick it up and throw it down to Qui-Gon. Instead he watched Qui-Gon pacing below their balcony impatiently.

"At least, entertainment we draw from that. Better than this show on Channel 78, it is."

Mace gasped in surprise, then turned to Master Yoda. "You actually watch those soap-shows, Master?!"

The only response was a cough, which Yoda tried to stifle with his hand.

"You said you gave me EVERYTHING? The only thing you ever gave me was A ROCK!" Obi-Wan barked back, then stormed back into his quarters, picking up various things without thinking.

He appeared again on the balcony and held something up in his fist. "YOU DIDN`T EVEN GIVE IT TO ME, BECAUSE YOU KNEW IT WAS FORCE- SENSIVITE. You simply thought it was PRETTY! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BLASTED RIVER STONE!"

With that he threw the stone out of the window down at Qui-Gon who jumped aside. The stone hit the ground merely two feet next to Qui-Gon.

"Now that was nearly a touch-down." Mace commented.

A window opened and a Calamarian male stuck his head out and barked "SHUT UP YOU TWO. I WANT TO SLEEP. IF YOU KEEP UP THIS DISTURBANCE I`LL BE FORCED TO CALL THE TEMPLE GUARDS AND GET YOU ARRESTED."

He received an angry glare from both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and a simultaneous shouted "THIS IS PRIVATE!"

"THEN KEEP IT PRIVATE!" the Calamarian shouted back and closed his window again.

"NO! Not the data pad. Everything, NOT THE DATA PAD!" Qui-Gon wailed, jumping around in the gardens.

Obi-Wan stood, the data pad raised above his head. He considered not throwing the pad only for a second, then he let it fall down.

"Not the pad!" Mace cried out in hysterics. Everything Qui-Gon had researched over the past years had been saved in this pad.

"Open your eyes, you can." Yoda stated calmly. "Caught it, he has."

Qui-Gon let out a shaky breath, clutching his data-pad to his naked chest. He nearly had let it drop again after catching it, for his whole body was covered in sweat.

Obi-Wan kept on throwing Qui-Gon“s possessions out of the window, not even looking anymore, where they landed.

Mace Windu and Yoda watched tea cups, books, holos and even clothes fall down in a constant stream before their eyes. Once, Yoda was nearly hit by a tea cup and Mace had to pull him back by his robes. "Thank you." the small Jedi Master whispered, then attached his eyes again on Qui-Gon, who had lowered his precious data pad to the ground and looked up to the balcony.

It was unusually quite and on the balcony below, Mace and Yoda exchanged a look.

"Padawan, have you finished?" he asked calmly.

"Yes Master." an ashamed tiny voice answered from above.

"Hmmm… Gladly as a Jedi I don't hold many possessions. Anything left to throw at me?"

"No Master." Obi-Wan said and swallowed soundly.

The Jedi Master grinned slightly. "You want to come down and help me pick up all the things lying around here?"

Obi-Wan nodded and sighed. Then he leapt over the balcony and landed safely on his feet in front of his Master.

Wordlessly Qui-Gon pulled the young man into his embrace. He stroked his back soothingly and tried to calm his confused lover.

"I'm sorry Qui-Gon."

"No I“m sorry Obi-Wan. I shouldn't have called you a selfish little brat."

"And I shouldn't have called you a stonewalled tyrant."

Qui-Gon placed a soft kiss on Obi-Wan“s temple and then said: "Let's pick up all these things and later we will meditate together and forget this thing once and for all."

Obi-Wan nodded and they both started to collect Qui-Gon“s possessions from the meadow.

On the balcony Mace sighed in disappointment. "It was just starting to get good."

Yoda shot him a Look, but then snickered. "Channel 78, you should watch more often."

Epilogue

When Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan entered the cafeteria this morning to take their breakfast, the voice level dropped to non existent. Obi-Wan smiled apologetically, but Qui-Gon ignored the angry stares of the other Jedi stoically. He pulled the young man towards the food chain and oversaw the sleepy eyes and accusing stare of the young apprentice, who served them.

When they sat down at a nearby table, Mace Windu approached them with a smile on his face.

"Sorted out your problems tonight, I suppose."

"Eavesdropping isn't something, a Jedi should be proud of." Qui-Gon retorted with a small grin at his best friend.

"Eavesdropping?" Mace laughed out loud. "Excuse me, Master Jedi, but you must have deaf ears, if you refer to your cursing and shouting last night as something, one could eavesdrop on. Actually, I just came over to give you back your robe."

He held out a neatly folded package and Qui-Gon took it immediately.

"I found it on my balcony this morning. I suppose your Padawan should work a little more on his aim."

With that, Mace bowed his head in slight amusement and left them alone, Obi-Wan trying to hide the embarrassment, that coloured his face in a deep purple.

"OBI-WAN!"

Yoda sat up in his bed wide awake and he couldn't prevent a curse slipping from his lips.

Loud groans and moans were heard from above and he watched the ceiling in silent pleading.

"YES!"

Something shattered in pieces in the quarters above him and Yoda winced. At least, they were not shouting insulting remarks at each other.

"PLEASE MASTER!"

This was worse.

"Loud, they are. Need to demand other quarters soon, I do."