Devotion

by Sian (sian1359@yahoo.com)

Series: Yes, imagine that. No clue as to a name for it, though. FD&L, I guess for now?

Archive: MA yes, others please ask first

Category: POV, Angst, OTP

Rating: PG-13 (adult situations and dialogue)

Warnings: EPII Timeframe. Also, not beta'ed

Spoilers: Not like the first, although several references are made to characters and things that happened in the movie, as well as the first story in this series: Faith

Disclaimer:. Harmful copyright infringement is not intended. Monetary profit is not being made.

Summary: Qui-Gon's reaction and the aftermath of Genosis.

Qui-Gon Jinn sensed the instant his former padawan regained consciousness. Because of his immediate change of focus also resulted in a rather abrupt pause by Master Koth, Qui-Gon assumed the Council members before him were aware of it also and, regardless, no one made any serious attempt to reclaim his attention from his internal communion.

And then Qui-Gon's outer awareness of the others disappeared completely as he was suddenly hearing noises and then words being said to Obi-Wan. Which would have been unprecedented even if he had been in contact with his former padawan in the last ten years. Qui-Gon didn't question this boon, however, did nothing other than give silent thanks to the Force for it before willingly loosing himself within the mind of the man he'd loved for longer than those ten years but had thought -- known -- he'd sabotaged even the rights of friendship with.

"Don't try to move, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon could hear Mace Windu saying. "You would think that after the first time, you'd have remembered what happens when you expend too much of your own life force into someone else," was continuing in a tone that was typically quiet yet also holding much more ease -- almost a teasing -- and, as such, nothing Qui-Gon had ever heard from any Council member toward Obi-Wan.

Which, even more than the beard and longer hair Qui-Gon had been surprised to see when he'd found Obi-Wan on Genosis, reinforced just how much had changed during his ten years of … detached duty.

Even though Qui-Gon was also sensing that Mace meant nothing by his words other than covering up his own relief at Obi-Wan's awakening, unfortunately Obi-Wan was not responding in kind. In growing alarm, Qui-Gon could feel that not only was Obi-Wan not registering the concern behind Mace's words, but that Obi-Wan wasn't really cognizant that it was Mace trying to aid him -- that anyone was trying to aid him. Indeed, Obi-Wan was beginning to react violently to Mace's presence; so much so that Mace abruptly used a Force compulsion to returned the knight to sleep lest Obi-Wan hurt himself further.

Qui-Gon fought from following Obi-Wan into the darkness, quickly withdrawing his awareness only to find that he was on his feet and at the door leading out into the ship's corridor without being aware that he'd even risen from his seat. Now he could also sense Master Luminala Unduli's hand holding him stationary. Still acting more on instinct than rational thought, Qui-Gon growled warning in her direction and began to wrench himself free despite the fact that he'd originally agreed to be here at the Council's debriefing and war council instead of at Obi-Wan's side in the first place.

What he'd felt from Obi-Wan in that last instant before his former padawan had succumbed to Mace's will had been despair, a total loss of hope and full surrender as Obi-Wan believed that Qui-Gon's return into his life had been nothing but a charade and further torture at the hands of Qui-Gon's former Master who they now knew had not just resigned from the Jedi but had become a Sith.

But Qui-Gon's attention, Luminala's, and everyone else's present in the room was suddenly directed outward as Master Yoda slammed his gimer stick hard enough into the floor that it cracked.

"Stay, you will!" Master Yoda slammed his gimer stick hard enough into the floor that the gnarled wood "Listen you must!"

But that was his problem. Qui-Gon couldn't help but listen and be completely aware of Obi-Wan's feelings as if they'd been his own. Somehow the training bond that had been broken with Qui-Gon's supposed death on Naboo those ten years ago had spontaneously reformed earlier in this day down on Genosis, was now even stronger than it had been when they were master and padawan. And to so intimately sense not only his very existence being dismissed, but also experiencing all of the memories of what the two of them had shared as his padawan had grown from child to man being ruthlessly shoved behind a block within Obi-Wan's mind, was an agony worse than the actual injury and subsequent circumstances that had more than once during the ten years had Qui-Gon wishing he had died.

Luminala's hand was again on his arm, this time in comfort instead of caution, which Qui-Gon realized he was also sensing with real empathy instead of simply interpreting her actions. He was also sensing Masters Koth, Fisto and Al-Mundi's sympathy, and Master Yoda's resolve. And regret. Qui-Gon's awareness of all nearby Jedi was much greater than usual, undoubtedly a residual from the extraordinary effort expended in the arena on Genosis that had seen almost two hundred of their number perish.

Was that all there was between him and Obi-Wan? A temporary connection born of desperate need instead of love? Instead of forgiveness?

This time Qui-Gon didn't stop the woman from leading him back toward a chair, and he collapsed into it with little grace.

"Great trauma Knight Kenobi has undergone, not only in his own recent trials, but also in sharing his padawan's." The intensity of Master Yoda's tones did not soften, but his manner was. "Time they will both need to physically recover. Time Obi-Wan must have to deal with Anakin's injury and Anakin's actions if together they will stay. No place is there in this for dealing with your resurrection."

"With my betrayal you mean," Qui-Gon's tone was just as harsh, his expression unforgiving and full of anger -- and guilt. "We should never have kept my recovery from him. You have always underestimated Obi-Wan's strength and commitment --"

"As you have always taken them for granted." The steel was back behind Master Yoda's words, and the little alien's ears were flat to his head, a sure sign of displeasure.

Abruptly it was as if the two of them were alone in the room, as it had been once every six months over ten long, lonely years.

Not insisting the others leave as the mental rapport between them all was fading but not yet fully disbursed, Qui-Gon instead ignored the discomfort he could feel from the other Councilors, especially those new to their position and unaware of naught but rumors of his past disagreements with those Jedi called upon to direct the rest. Qui-Gon kept his own gaze challenging, kept the core of anger born on Naboo and nursed over the years instead of being given up, in the forefront of his thoughts.

"True or not, that is between only Obi-Wan and myself," he said flatly. Yes, he'd done his then padawan a great disservice by championing Anakin before his responsibilities to Obi-Wan had ended, but by all of the gods that had then so damned him, he'd also paid for that lapse of judgment by being forced to stay away -- to stay dead -- to Obi-Wan in all the years that had followed. Although he'd accepted the necessity of his mission as well as the penance, he had never accepted that Obi-Wan had also been made to suffer.

"So sure you are that suffered so greatly Obi-Wan has?"

Shock rendered Qui-Gon speechless. He could only stare at the one who'd influenced his own growth into adulthood more than his own master had, as if he'd never before realized how utterly alien the ancient master truly was.

Surprisingly, it was the not terribly human Kit Fisto who spoke the words Qui-Gon could not. "There is no question that Knight Kenobi has turned into a fine master and an even greater Jedi, yes perhaps because of the outcome of Naboo," he started almost apologetically. "But even the least empathic of us can sense the hole in Obi-Wan's soul, the pain that is twin to Master Qui-Gon's. If we needed more proof they were meant to be together, surely the resumption of the bond between them can only be the Will of the Force?"

For a long instant longer Master Yoda held unyielding, but then he lowered his ears, eyes, and the posture of his gimer stick still rigidly perpendicular to the floor, drawing it back to his body as if he could take some comfort from its closeness. "Darkness and despair we have experienced enough on this day without encouraging more," the ancient one sighed. "The past we cannot change." And he looked carefully back up to Qui-Gon. "No, cannot change. Only strive to understand and repeat not the same mistakes."

The tremor in his hands did not fade, but at least Qui-Gon could now breathe again. "My masters, I cannot at this time continue with the debriefing," he offered in contrite tones. "Nor will I go to Obi-Wan's side," he added quickly lest any contention resume. "However, I ask not for my own sake, but for Obi-Wan's, that there be someone to stay with him, to be there when he awakens again. To help him understand he is no longer in Dooku's hands."

"Alone your padawan will not be, nor his padawan," Yoda agreed readily with the gentleness Qui-Gon had hoped to see. "Alone you should not stay for long, either."

Qui-Gon bowed his head. Although he knew Yoda was not apologizing for his own part in actions that had led to this moment, Qui-Gon also knew that the ancient one would not call him on his own contributions -- at least not until Qui-Gon was ready to be forgiven and forgive himself. For it had been fear even more than prideful or righteous indignation, that had spurred and kept alive Qui-Gon's anger throughout the last ten years, the same fearful guilt that had kept him also from disobeying Master Yoda and seeking Obi-Wan out on his own.

As agonizing as being apart had been, it had been easier to be dead to Obi-Wan instead of being unwelcome.

When Qui-Gon next looked up, he found he was alone in the room, and nearly alone in his own thoughts; the battle rapport the Council members had made possible for the events on Genosis now fully dissipated. He could still sense a tug from Master Yoda, and one from Mace both of which would take longer to fade since he'd had bonds with both before Genosis. He was also still aware of Anakin, but Qui-Gon wasn't sure if that was because of the fragile bond he and the boy had formed on Tatooine all those years ago, or because he was still deeply connected to Obi-Wan and so could sense something from Obi-Wan and Anakin's own training bond.

Just as he couldn't tell for sure if his weariness was his own or as result of Obi-Wan's -- or Anakin's -- unconsciousness.

While he'd not been involved in the final confrontation with his former Master, Qui-Gon had fought alongside Obi-Wan, Anakin and Senator Amidala in the Genosian arena as he and his former padawan had sought to prevent Anakin and Amidala's executions. During that battle, and even more so as they were joined by Mace and two hundred Jedi to then battle against the armies of droids and Genosian's that Dooku had directed to destroy them all, Qui-Gon had felt all of his fifty-five years.

Now he felt at least twice that age, yet not so much from the length of the fighting, nor from any of the superficial injuries he had sustained therein and had not yet bothered to have treated. Somehow, not even learning that his own former master had not just left the Order, but had actually embraced the Darkness and come to replace the Sith that had nearly killed him on Naboo, had done little more than add to his overall despair in living long enough to see the rise of the Darkness and the Sith.

Although to begin to learn of what Dooku had done to Obi-Wan --

"You don't look like you appreciate the miracle of your resurrection quite as much as we do, Master Jinn."

Although he hadn't sensed or heard her approach, Qui-Gon was too tired to react to beyond turning his head to see who had come upon him, and then begin to struggle to his feet.

"Please, don't bother," the perpetually young, perpetually regal woman waved away his bow. "I was Padme to you much longer than I ever was Queen. And somehow, being a Senator right now is not something I feel particularly proud about."

"Then allow me to offer you the respect you deserve as an admirable warrior, and a true child of the light," he smiled tiredly, not only gaining his feet, but then taking her hand to his lips before guiding her over to the couch last occupied by Councilors Al-Mundi and Koth. Padme Amidala, once Queen and now Senator of Naboo, blushed, but did not pull away as she might have when he'd last seen her -- as a too mature child of fourteen.

"How are you feeling?"

She had sustained injury significant enough to warrant full bacta treatment during the fight in the arena, but had allowed only the barest of treatment and now as then, showed little evidence of how it must still pain her other than a certain stiffness in her movements. Including in her shrugged response to his query.

"Lucky to be alive when so many are not."

And for a moment they both sat and gave silent tribute to those who had lost their lives. It might be days before there could be formal remembrances for all the Jedi lost on Genosis, nor did he expect the Senate to ever truly acknowledge that cost. But even worse, Qui-Gon feared, was that those loses were only the beginning. Not just for the Jedi, but for the Republic.

"I suppose it would be foolish of me to point out that you shouldn't have been at risk in the first place?" he smiled with a little more feeling. Upon their first meeting, Padme had been pretending to be her own bodyguard, and the risk had been not only to her own life but her world's sovereignty. Somehow Qui-Gon doubted turning Senator from Queen would have changed such a tendency.

"Anakin and I had received a coded message from Obi-Wan just as he was captured. We feared the Council wouldn't be able to respond in time to help him." She was frowning but not at all apologetic, and Qui-Gon had to figure such a rescue had not been Obi-Wan's idea.

"Of course we had no idea that you were even alive, much less on Genosis yourself," she was continuing. And now she looked slightly accusatory, although by spending most of her life involved in politics, she'd learned well how to keep her emotions hidden and her expression cleared almost immediately.

"Obi-Wan didn't know that I was alive either," Qui-Gon assured her quickly, anticipating that her irritation and concern was more for Anakin's sake that her own. "He would never have kept something of that magnitude from Anakin had he known." Even as that had been the Council's order, Qui-Gon thought -- hoped -- to himself.

No, that failing was his alone.

Instead of relief or even skepticism, however, Amidala's eyes showed a moment of something more like guilt -- or shame, and Qui-Gon felt a sudden chill, again reminded of his surprise in finding out that Obi-Wan had been on Genosis without his padawan, even if Amidala's safety had been at stake. Up until this last mission received after Naboo to find the trail of the Sith, Qui-Gon had taken less than a handful of missions that had not included Obi-Wan at his side when they'd been master and padawan. No Temple or simulation could teach a Jedi learner better than actual application in the field and he'd always felt they did their apprentices no service by keeping them from the possibility of danger.

Not even when that danger might result in death.

Obi-Wan had learned an awful yet valuable lesson on Naboo, and had obviously handled it better than Qui-Gon's example after Tahl's death during the early years of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. Like he had when Xanatos had turned to the dark, Qui-Gon had closed himself off from all others after Tahl's death, including Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, had apparently reached out after his loss, making friends of Mace, Luminala, maybe even Master Yoda. And, no doubt, many others.

Yet it was just as obvious that Obi-Wan hadn't fully recovered from the circumstances of Naboo -- not going by Obi-Wan's reaction to Qui-Gon's appearance and how his former padawan had just minutes ago so successfully partitioned off his memories of his time as a padawan.

Or going by the cracks that Qui-Gon had initially sensed in Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship that Amidala seemed to be confirming.

Most likely the cracks came from Qui-Gon's own treatment of Obi-Wan upon first finding Anakin, and his subsequent wishes when they both thought he would die. That Obi-Wan had actually honored Qui-Gon's demands was much more a tribute to the man Obi-Wan was, not the padawan Qui-Gon had trained. And had abandoned, first willfully if inadvertently in the Council Chambers, and then even more unexpectedly on Naboo. And afterward by keeping his silence.

"How is Anakin?" Qui-Gon wasn't sure if he was asking after Anakin in general, or of the specifics of the horrific injury Obi-Wan's padawan had sustained in fighting Dooku.

"The healers are optimistic," she answered the specific. "They say it's generally shock that kills someone with a wound of that nature --" She abruptly broke off and blushed. "But you know that," and she lowered her eyes.

Yes, he did. As well as intimately knowing the strength of Obi-Wan's will in helping someone stave off such shock.

Her head suddenly rose. "I'd like to take him to Naboo that he might be fitted with a cybernetic replacement."

Inwardly Qui-Gon cringed, though he knew it was common practice, and that the Force flowed through and touched all things, even mechanical implants. Few Jedi bothered, however, as such devices affected their abilities to connect and use the Force. But Anakin was not yet a full Jedi, and such a trauma might keep him from ever becoming one were he to dwell on the loss instead of learning to cope and overcome it.

"It is not up to me --"

"But you could champion me -- him," she said in all earnestness. "To the Council and with Obi-Wan --" Again she broke off and again Qui-Gon felt a frission of unease go through him. He couldn't be sure that which she was more anxious about, which seemed to imply the cracks were even wider than he suspected.

"The decision must be Anakin's, and only after he's been made aware of the potential drawbacks and consequences of such an invasive procedure," he said cautiously.

"But --"

"What you or I may want for him may not be what is best for him, Padme." He reached out and took her hand in his. "Such things are hard for Jedi and may prove harder still for Anakin."

"She looked as if she was still prepared to argue, but then stopped and gave a tight lipped nod.

Qui-Gon felt a conflict of emotion going through her and tightened his grip. "Choosing to be a Jedi -- or a Senator -- takes an inordinate amount of courage and commitment, something which the both of you have in abundance," he said softly. "I could be no more proud of you both were you my own children and I am so very glad to have been given this chance to discover what extraordinary people you've become."

A deeper blush this time, but also a self-conscious smile before the young woman closed the rest of the distance between them and let herself be enfolded into a hug.

"We've all missed you so much," was muffled by his robe, just as her tears were absorbed by it.

Although Qui-Gon sensed that she still had questions about the deception of his death, he could also feel that she accepted it, her politician's mind already relegating it to a necessity for the greater good. Or maybe she just felt that they hadn't known each other well enough for her to be entitled to an explanation.

Unfortunately, the same might not be said for Anakin -- or especially Obi-Wan -- and Qui-Gon wasn't sure either would find peace with his choices as easily.

He let Amidala stay within his embrace until she regained her composure, knowing that only a few of the tears had really been on his behalf. So much had happened in the last ten years, yet so much more had happened today that, frankly, they were all deserving of being able to shed a few tears.

"Would you care for an escort back to your quarters?" he finally prodded gently as her gaze fell into a fixed staring of nothing.

With a shake of her head she seemed to come back to herself, then shook her head further. "I really should be getting back to Ani," she said despite the exhaustion coloring her tone. "I actually came out only to find something to drink, but couldn't pass up a chance to say hello once I saw you sitting here."

At least the questioning look that overtook her eyes was more simple curiosity than an accusation this time, and Qui-Gon knew she wondered why he wasn't sitting vigil for Obi-Wan.

Which was a damn good question. Yes, he had given the Council his word, but what purpose did his honor serve now in the face of already having forfeited it in betraying Obi-Wan in the first place. Only if the healers denied him would he acquiesce --

"Well, then may I have the privilege of escorting you back to the triage area?"

Amidala smiled in quiet delight and let him help her to her feet before letting him take her arm in the courtly fashion of her own world and many others.

No one had really foreseen the start of a war on Genosis and so no medical ship had accompanied the troops Master Yoda had brought. But because they were clones, specially and specifically trained for combat, a small percentage of them had been given even further training as field medics, enough so that all of the injured could be looked after even if the accommodations and supplies were lacking. Qui-Gon was still disconcerted in seeing beds and makeshift pallets overflowing one of the crew quarters however, even more so to see that most of the bodies that lay on them all looked the same. Even more chilling than the reason for the injured all looking the same was the reason behind so few being different -- that so few Jedi had survived even after the clones had arrived as reinforcements. Dooku again, no doubt, or maybe just the private grievances of the Trade Federation that had produced the droids that had continued to single out Jedi amidst all the other targets.

At some point Qui-Gon knew he was going to have to deal with the fact that so much of what had happened today could be laid at his former master's blade. And with the fact that he really wasn't all that surprised -- or as bothered on a personal level as the rest of the Jedi had expected. But then, he hadn't really had much contact with Dooku after taking Xanatos as his padawan and even less in the years after Xanatos' fall and Obi-Wan's welcome into his life and so did not feel he had known the man who'd been his master.

Certainly he had respected Dooku during their time together, had honored him and even cared for him in the way a student might a solicitous teacher, but they had never truly become partners, not as he and Obi-Wan had in the latter years of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. Nor had he and Dooku ever become friends afterward. So now he was really only faced with a fundamental regret as he would for the fall of any Jedi, and the frustration (and anger) that Dooku had not just turned, but had become a Sith.

Of course, he'd kill the bastard the first chance he got for harming Obi-Wan and Anakin.

They, like the other few Jedi survivors, had been given private rooms for their recovery. Qui-Gon had been surprised to discover the two had not been housed next to or even near each other, however, and again had to wonder if it was indicative of anything other than disorganization. With the lack of bacta tanks and limited surgical space with respect to the number of defenders needing them, perhaps the bigger surprise was that enough rooms had been found at all.

So now it meant he had to cross almost half the ship and go up four levels to get to Obi-Wan's room after seeing Amidala to Anakin's. He supposed that was a good thing, given that it would give him time to figure out how to deal with Mace.

Which rapidly turned into less of a concern or, rather, his concern became how he was going to deal with Obi-Wan, as Qui-Gon began to sense his former padawan was again regaining consciousness.

This time he could sense that Obi-Wan's confusion was less than during his first awakening, and quickly concluded that was due in part to the fact that he'd been awakened instead of regaining consciousness on his own; apparently one of the field medics had come in to follow-up on his initial treatment. But just as Qui-Gon slowed his pace so as to arrive after the examination, he was hit with a wave of pure terror from Obi-Wan that had him racing with Force enhanced speed through the ship's corridors.

Mace must have also thought to give Obi-Wan and his healer some privacy, for he stepped out of another room as Qui-Gon sped past, reaching for his lightsaber but like Qui-Gon, not igniting it in response to Qui-Gon's urgency. Together they burst through the door, moving almost faster than it would open.

Qui-Gon had been unable to get anything from his link with Obi-Wan other than blind panic and a sense of desperate opposition, and for an instant what he saw upon entering the room didn't really aid in his understanding. But whether because of closer proximity or something else, Obi-Wan's thoughts were becoming more coherent and in the next instant Qui-Gon was reacting almost as blindly though out of rage instead of panic.

A push with the Force separated the two combatants and Qui-Gon did not temper the violence in which he shoved the clone away and into the wall. The other's groan and stagger wasn't enough, however, and Qui-Gon moved forward to vent more of his outrage, only to be intercepted quite forcibly by Mace Windu who used his own command of the Force to hold Qui-Gon back.

"But he -- he was going to --"

While Mace's expression was initially tightened in the implacable fierceness that usually only his opponents saw, something in his eyes and manner softened almost immediately. "No he didn't," Mace said in an even softer tone and seeming to understand the words Qui-Gon couldn't say. "But yes, someone else apparently did and from Obi-Wan's reaction, I suspect it was the bounty hunter -- the clone's progenitor."

Revulsion and immense sorrow rolled through Qui-Gon but he quickly shoved down his reactions lest Obi-Wan pick up on them as he still was Obi-Wan's own. "Get him out of here," he managed to ground out, not really caring that it wasn't the clone's fault, nor listening to the clone's apologetic explanation.

"I thought surely it was better to have him awakened and aware of what I was doing instead of regaining consciousness in the middle of the treatment --"

The door closed on anything else the clone might have said, leaving Qui-Gon alone with Obi-Wan although he knew Mace would be returning soon. And, given the blankness in which Obi-Wan was staring -- not at him, not at anything -- had Qui-Gon thinking that might be for the best.

"Obi-Wan?" He moved cautiously toward his former padawan, exuding as much calm and comfort as he could although Qui-Gon was feeling anything but, and even though he had no indication Obi-Wan was aware enough to even unconsciously be using the Force to read his surroundings, much less acknowledge that a mental link between the two of them had been restored.

He was still expecting some sort of reaction when he knelt down next to the bunk and reached to untangle the sheet that was all that Obi-Wan had had to protect himself with, but not even his touch to Obi-Wan's hand seemed to break through the memories the clone's appearance and actions had locked Obi-Wan into, and Qui-Gon's heart and throat tightened even further when there wasn't even a whimper.

Stoicism bled past the shielding he'd needed to erect after his first initial glimpse of the ordeal Obi-Wan was reliving, a resignation that coiled uneasily in the pit of Qui-Gon's stomach, as it could only mean the rape and torture had been repeated while Obi-Wan had been in Dooku's custody.

This time when he gently attempted to unclench Obi-Wan's fingers from the cloth that really wasn't much whiter than the bloodless skin that refused to yield, the Jedi master offered neutral words and a detached reassurance, although that caused the sickness that he felt to wrap around his soul.

"Knight Kenobi, it's alright now. It's over and you are safe."

The sound of Mace's caught breath let Qui-Gon know the Councilor had returned, and he shared the other's dismay upon pulling away the sheet to see that Obi-Wan had managed to aggravate his saber wounds in his struggle with the clone. Blood was quickly soaking through both sets of bandages.

"Obi-Wan, let it go. Come back to us," Mace coaxed as he knelt down beside Qui-Gon and the two of them carefully started to pull Obi-Wan away from the corner of the walls he'd jammed himself into. And Qui-Gon couldn't quite keep down the small thrill of satisfaction that he got as Obi-Wan showed no more response to the Councilor than he had Qui-Gon.

"Qui-Gon, the Council says you've regained some sort of bond. Can't you --"

He began to shake his head, but Mace was right -- at least nothing else seemed to be working. And surely it was only cowardice that had him shielding in the first place; though more from his fear of his existence being rejected again by Obi-Wan, not from sharing the horror of Obi-Wan's memories.

"If you can't," Mace was continuing without noticing that Qui-Gon had already agreed, "I'll have to sedate him and frankly he doesn't need anymore chemicals depressing -- or stimulating -- his system. Although maybe it would be easier to finish what the medic had begun with him out of it --"

"No, the clone was right," he said hoarsely. "Obi-Wan's had too much done without his consent."

Yet the same could be said of the link that had been restored between them, and to use it now….

Well the likelihood that Obi-Wan would want nothing to do with him in the future existed without needing to worry about giving his former padawan another reason. And surely his betrayal would prove the lesser torment, at least for the immediate future.

Obi-Wan was shivering now, and without thought Qui-Gon slipped out of his robe and began to wrap it around the bared form. Only to have his heart lodge in his throat and tears fill his eyes to see Obi-Wan relaxing the awful rigidity of his muscles and actually snuggle into the warmth as he had when he was a young boy.

Mace saw it too, and wasn't quite as stoic -- or worried about control as Qui-Gon had been. "Go ahead," he prompted when Qui-Gon hesitated; emotions thickening his voice and letting his own tears fall.

Now it was Qui-Gon who has shaking, but he let Mace help him into the corner they'd just pulled Obi-Wan out of before taking up his former padawan in his lap as he needed do only a few times when the other had been younger. If Obi-Wan was still locked into his memories, at least now he had found ones that brought him comfort.

"It's alright now, padawan" Qui-Gon breathed into hair that was no longer the close-cropped spikes that he was seeing in his mind's eye as his own memories took him back and offered him his own comfort. "It's going to be okay."

~~ fin ~~

(Yes, there will be one more.)