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Rating: R-ish for sexual innuendo

Category: Obi/Bail, POV, TMI

Archive: M-A and http://www.wyomingnot.com/rita/rita.html

Summary: Bail muses about what it's like to have a Jedi for a lover.

Angst-o-meter: Zero. Really!

Mush alert: see Angst-o-meter

Timeline: whenever you want; probably sometime in the later padawan years

Warning: presented to you in all its unbetaed glory!

Disclaimer: Master George is the ultimate power in this universe. Any attempt to defeat his battle station would be a useless gesture. (But a small snub fighter like this one may be able to penetrate his defenses!)

Author's note: This is a shameless exercise in character indulgence. Bail tends to prattle away in my head, and most of what he says, while diverting enough to me, would not really make a good story. But he got a certain theme going here, so I let him have his way. I'm probably going to regret it.

Feedback: any time, any place, any way you want to give it to me, baby!

This story is dedicated to Lauranna, who has been pestering me for a happy Obi/Bail story. I doubt this is quite what she had in mind, but I hope it satisfies.

Story order:
Perhaps
Maybe
Falling
Back for Seconds - Obi-Wan and Bail
Bailing Bail
Padawan Games
Greener Pastures
Forgiven
Reality Check
Better Than Destiny
A Cross-Cultural Affair <--You are here
Deconstruction
Reconstruction
Rewoven
Night Visitor
Father Figure
A Model Padawan
Not All Dreams Are Visions
You Don't Bring Me Flowers
Dangerous Fame
Labyrinth
Private Lessons (off-site link)
Owner's Mark
Epicenter
Duty
Penumbra
Nightfall
Batter My Heart

I suppose having a Jedi lover is an enviable thing. Certainly my friends think so. I am constantly beseiged by rather prurient questions from my friends, wondering what it's like. Does the Force lend him unique talents? Does it increase the longevity or frequency of his performance? Can he read my mind to know what turns me on? Does he have a tendency to levitate when in the throes of erotic ecstasy? I might laugh, if it weren't for the fact that I used to wonder about those exact things myself.

I am not really in quite the position to answer those questions as one might think. To put it in scientific terms, my experimental sample is very small, limited in fact to just one person. How many of my observations can be applied to any Jedi, and how many can be applied only to Obi-Wan? My sample is further skewed by the fact that Obi-Wan has been my lover for several years now. Perhaps some characteristics of our sex life are merely a reflection of how long we've been together.

Nevertheless, even with these provisos in mind, there are definitely some ways in which Obi-Wan is different from any other lover I've ever had. For one thing, he is a fantastic kisser. It's not so much a matter of technique as it is attentiveness. With other lovers, the kissing is merely prelude to the main event. To put it crudely, it's the most foreplay one can generally get away with in public. Whenever we move to a more private venue, the interaction likewise becomes more private. Kissing becomes merely one more way of increasing skin contact.

Not so with Obi-Wan. Oh, certainly we sometimes skip the preliminaries, but on the other hand sometimes with Obi-Wan kissing is the main event. Why, one time we kissed for over two hours, never even venturing below the neck. That was all we did. And the really amazing thing is that I felt so completely satisfied, and not at all as if I'd been cheated of the good stuff. When he kisses me like that, slowly, attentively, thoroughly, my brain actually melts. I have even on occasion forgotten to breathe. Obi-Wan gives new meaning to the term "oral sex." When he kisses me like that, it's as if I'm the center of his universe. I enter a realm of pure sensuality, a realm of no thought or action, merely of being. I feel like a god. I feel, well, loved. If I had to choose between sex with anyone, or kissing with Obi-Wan, I would definitely pick Obi-Wan. My friends think I'm crazy. They don't know what they're missing.

But how much of his virtuosity at kissing is due to the fact that he's a Jedi? That may indeed have something to do with it. Obi-Wan is singularly focused when it comes to sex. He immerses himself totally in the experience. Some people move through the act of sex by rote. They may be focused, all right, but they are focused on the objective of achieving orgasm. Everything else is merely a means to that end. I confess I can sometimes be that way myself. After all, why do you have casual sex with someone you've just met? Because you want to get laid.

But Obi-Wan never merely wants to get laid. The entire experience, even before we touch and clothes start to come off, is the main event, and he gives each step his full and undivided attention. I think it's a Jedi thing, having to do with mental discipline and focus. It gives our sex an almost religious quality, a sense that we are not merely having a good time or a pleasurable experience, but that what we are doing requires our utmost attention, our complete immersion in the moment. It makes for very intense sex. No mere hot, wild, all-over-the-place coupling, although sometimes we do that, too. With Obi-Wan I have learned the value of slow, deliberate love-making. He will spend half an hour on my left knee cap if he feels it's warranted. My left knee cap, and indeed all my other parts, have never received such careful attention from anyone else. It makes the orgasm, when we finally get there, all the more mind-blowing. Probably only a Jedi could exhibit so much patience and self-control.

But that's not to say that once Obi-Wan gets to the orgasm he holds back in his own release. Sex practically knocks him senseless. He lies there, eyes closed, breathing heavily, as if transported into some kind of sensual meditation. He doesn't even move for minutes at a time. I used to worry about it a little. What if an assassin burst into the bedroom and attacked us when Obi-Wan was post-coitus? Would he be unable to respond? Would I get shot while Obi-Wan was still blissed out from a sexual high? Now I know that, aside from the absurdity of such a scenario, it wouldn't happen. Obi-Wan is not senseless after sex, he's sense-full. Me, I'm either ready for a nap, or I want to hop up and go get something to eat, but Obi-Wan is still taking it all in, savoring each last firing of his nerves and synapses, absorbing the experience to the last drop. If someone did burst in, Obi-Wan would be able to respond immediately, perhaps even more focused than he normally is. I think it's definitely a unique Jedi trait, but it can be a little unnerving to me.

I, on the other hand, am not capable of the same degree of focus. Not that I'm not mindful during sex. But let's face it: one's mind occasionally wanders. Of course no one likes to admit it, but we've all experienced it, haven't we? That's why I don't get upset if people say strange things during sex - call out the wrong name or mention some random topic mid-coitus. I know I can't help it. My mind is always so busy. Some people would consider an active mind to be a virtue. Among my political colleagues, we would call it "multitasking." The Jedi, however, would call it "lack of focus."

Whatever you call it, the result is that I tend to talk a lot during sex. It took a while for Obi-Wan to get used to that. Now, don't get me wrong. Despite all I've said so far, it's not as if sex with Obi-Wan is always serious. We have fun sex, too. He can joke and play around. What bothers him, though, is my habit of keeping up a running commentary during sex, and the fact that my filibustering is not always about the topic at hand. I think that's why Obi-Wan prefers me to be on top. I don't talk as much then, since I have other matters to attend to. But when I'm on the bottom...well, it's not to say that I'm not appreciative of what Obi-Wan is doing to me, not at all. But since I'm not the one directing the action, so to speak, it does leave my mind free to...multitask. Obi-Wan, however, does not always find this amusing.

One time we were in flagrante delicto, and I suddenly remembered that I had to write a report for a committee. I must have said something out loud, because Obi-Wan stopped what he had so deliciously been doing and looked down at me with a rather cross expression. "What?" he demanded.

"What?" I echoed. I was so distracted I didn't even know I had spoken out loud.

"You said something about a report," Obi-Wan said.

I blinked in confusion. "Oh, yes. It's due for a committee meeting I have tomorrow."

Obi-Wan appeared quite put out. He huffed, "I'm so sorry to be distracting you when you clearly have more important things on your mind."

"Don't be ridiculous," I protested. "It was just a stray thought."

But Obi-Wan refused to be appeased. "Do you always think about committee meetings when we're having sex?"

I admit it didn't sound very complimentary when he said it that way, so I offered, "If it makes you feel better, whenever I'm in a committee meeting I always think about having sex with you."

This failed to impress Obi-Wan. I knew better than to ask whether he ever thought about me at inappropriate times. Jedi Knights are so single-minded. I'm sure they never think distracting thoughts while on missions. That knowledge would hurt more if I knew not to take it personally. Still I couldn't resist saying, "Surely even when you're appearing before the Council, a tiny corner of your mind is sometimes thinking about giving me a good pounding."

Obi-Wan growled, "I'm thinking about giving you a good pounding right now."

Somehow the way he said it, I suspected he did not mean pounding of a sexual nature. I prudently let the subject drop.

It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't sometimes get it into his head that I ought to live up to Jedi standards of self-discipline. There was another time when I was a little too verbose. It wasn't really fair that he got annoyed, since I was at least talking about sex - to be specific, sex with him. But this did not satisfy him. He interrupted his attentions several times, in the vain hope that I would collect myself and shut up, but each time he stopped, I only prattled on more. All right, I admit it, I make a rather lousy bottom. Not that I don't like it, but I suppose all the physical stimulation ends up stimulating my mouth as well. Anyway, he finally stopped altogether and got out of bed.

Dazed, I asked, "What's wrong?"

He folded his arms across his chest. "I think you need a lesson in concentration."

I hate it when Obi-Wan gets the idea that I'm his padawan. He dragged me out of bed, while I protested thoroughly I assure you, and made me stand in the middle of the room. He then lay down the rules of the exercise. I had to recite the Articles of Confederation of the Republic while Obi-Wan proceeded with his own nefarious attempts to distract me. If I messed up in my recitation, he would stop, and I would have to start all over again from the beginning.

Needless to say, it proved to be a very frustrating exercise, in more ways than one. I would never cut it as a Jedi. I could get through the preamble and the first article all right, but I kept tripping up on the second article about the powers of the Supreme Chancellor. Perhaps my trouble reflects some deep-seated ambivalence for the Chief of State, but more likely it was because by that point Obi-Wan had begun to work his way southward. I kept losing my place, prompting him to sit back on his heels and stare up at me with a smug expression that seemed to say, "I can keep this going all night and never give you any satisfaction." No amount of begging on my part succeeded in moving him, and he would not touch me until I at last relented and began again with, "These are the articles by which the Free Worlds of the galaxy do assemble themselves into one Republic for the good of order and liberty." After much frustration on my part, we finally managed to "form a more perfect union" somewhere in the fourth article during the establishment of the judicial branch of government.

Every once in a while he threatens to run through that "exercise" again until I'm able to recite all the articles before he grants me release. But in the end a Jedi is too practical to strive for the impossible, so Obi-Wan has eased up on the issue. It still annoys him, but he has resigned himself to my undisciplined vocal habits, and he deals with it by finding more on-topic ways to keep my attention focused on the present agenda. Fortunately for both of us, he's quite good at it.

So having a Jedi lover presents certain challenges as well as benefits. How much of any of it is because he's a Jedi, and how much because he is Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan is focused, direct, honest to a fault and not overly given to demonstrativeness. It can be a little trying at times, just as I'm sure he's annoyed by my excessive use of pet names, my persistent attempts to stick my hand down his pants when we're in public, my talkativeness during sex, and of course my un-Jedilike emotional insecurity. I come across as needy, while he seems distant. He can appear strict, whereas I am undisciplined. We all have our faults. I'm sure he finds having a senator for a lover just as baffling and mysterious as I find it having a Jedi lover. Sometimes we hardly seem to be speaking the same language. But the translation is part of what makes it fun.

It comes down to a desire to share, a willingness to learn and to accept another person as they are in their entirety. It's not a perfect match at all. If it were, it would be boring. Our differences keep us alert to all the wonders wrapped in each sentient being. Indeed Obi-Wan and I have yet to tire of unwrapping each other. I doubt we will finally ever know everything there is to know about one another. I suppose that's why we're still together after all this time. I suppose that's what it really means to love.