by Phthalas Aaral, Healer (Kanoesama@aol.com)
and San-Lyn Hedet, Jedi Master (FiveChosen@aol.com)
Archive: master_apprentice, and Phthalas' homepage (once it's
set up)
Rating: G-ish
Warnings: twisted ramblings and utter silliness
Spoilers: none.
Summary: Another gratuitous brand name plug brought to you by
The Jedi Academy's Advertising Department (Much to Master
Yoda's chagrin)
Feedback: Yes, please. We own the rights to our mistakes.
LOL
Disclaimer: We're only playing with the Lucas boy toys. we'll
put'em back. really.
[Fade in: Qui-Gon in front of a market in Naboo.]
"Greetings, this is Qui-Gon Jinn for Energizer Batt'ries(R)."
"If you happen to be like my padawan, you may find yourself
doing flaky things like leaving your lightsabre on, allowing it
to short out in the swamplands, so then when the battle droids
are shooting at you while you run through the woods, you have
no way of defending yourself and have to rely on your
Master."
[Obi-Wan sorta gets in Qui-Gon's face with a furrowed brow.]
"Master, you are always telling me that I have much to learn.
Perhaps it's not yet time for you to take on a new padawan
learner." He says this with a rather matter-of-fact voice.
[Qui-Gon has that look of...indignance?]
"I will do what I must, Obi-Wan."
[Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, with a bit of smirk.]
"But Master Yoda said --"
[Qui-Gon, rather amusedly, yet somewhat impatiently, sighs and
gently pushes Obi-Wan off stage.]
"This is not a commercial about Master Yoda. Now that should be
enough for you."
[Qui-Gon turns his attention back to the camera.]
As I was saying, if you happen to need to supply power to your
shorted-out lightsabre, choose Energizer Batt'ries. They keep
going and going. And remember - be mindful of the living Force
of the batt'ry."
[fade to black, and then the following text centered on the
screen in white:]
"Profits made by this commercial go to the Jedi Academy where
defying the code isn't merely a job - it's an adventure."
[A moment after the Jedi slogan appears, Master Yoda's voice,
offstage:]
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