Master Apprentice
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(continued from part 3)
The Jedi High Council Chamber was awe-inspiring to most Jedi, but the new Padawans were hard put to keep from craning their necks to look all around the huge circular room. Obi-Wan also had to restrain himself from waving to his friends, although he did exchange a quick grin with Garen, who also was now sporting the Padawan haircut, braid, and dress, standing close to his new teacher, Master Ced-Vig Zend. There was a general stir of excitement in the room anyway, the Force singing with the exuberance of the happy children.
The pairs of Master and Padawan were ranged in a circle behind the twelve chairs of the seated Jedi High Council. Each pair would come forward separately for the Ceremony of Beginnings. Master Yoda, as senior Council member and eldest of the Order, would receive each pair in turn.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, forward shall you come," Yoda called after five pairs had come forward and retreated to their places. Obi-wan, arms folded in his robe sleeves as his Master had taught him, came forward to stand in the middle of the chamber. Qui-Gon, arms folded similarly, followed to stand directly behind the boy.
Yoda glanced at the youth, then up at the tall man behind him. [Finally the day is here,] he thought to himself, noting with contentment that Obi-Wan still seemed ecstatic about his choice, the child unable to keep from smiling. And the Master... [Loves the boy already,] Yoda noted smugly, exchanging a knowing look with his former Padawan. [Despite his fears... soon to rest, they may be laid...]
"What is your Choice, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Yoda asked formally.
His voice ringing high and clear in the large Chamber, Obi-Wan announced, "I choose Master Qui-Gon Jinn to be my Master." His young face fairly shone with pride and joy.
"And Master Qui-Gon?" Yoda asked, smirking openly.
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes at his former Master, smiling. Then he straightened, returning to the formality of the ritual. "I Accept Obi-Wan Kenobi as my Padawan Learner." He withdrew his arms from his sleeves and placed his hands on the child's shoulders. "I will train him, be a model for him..." He paused to slip his right hand up into the boy's brushy hair, fingers finding the root of the Padawan braid. "And I will love him as is my privilege and my honor."
Obi-Wan relaxed into the touch, though he had to resist a sudden urge to turn and hug his Master's waist. [Master Yoda looks pretty pleased with himself,] he noted, wanting to give the little ancient Master a grin, but, all too aware of the rest of the Council looking on, kept just a smile.
"Approve of the Choice and the Acceptance, the Council does," Yoda replied. "May the Force be with you both." Then he bowed to the pair.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed to Yoda and the Council together, then, Qui-Gon's arm along the youth's shoulder, they returned to their place outside the ring of Councilor chairs.
When the last of the pairs had returned to their place, Yoda made a little speech about welcoming the children into the ranks of the Jedi Padawans, and repeated a reminder to the Padawans about loving their Masters, and then the same given to the new Masters. Then he was waving everyone toward the door. "Reception in the Arena, there is. Now, go!"
Everyone laughed, enjoying the ancient's propensity for not delaying getting to food. One of the Council members, still laughing, collected Yoda up in his arms to carry him the long way there... and again, Yoda looked very smug indeed.
Obi-Wan slid an arm around his Master's waist, looking up at him happily as the tall Jedi Master looked down. "We did it," he whispered.
"Indeed, we did," Qui-Gon sighed, content.
The Reception, as expected, went very late, but Qui-Gon and Obi-wan left a little bit before the end, as they had important, unfinished business to take care of. Obi-Wan sagged against his Master sleepily as they entered their quarters, then blinked as his Master tilted his face up to his. "Hmmm?"
"I know it's late, Painter," Qui-Gon said warmly, ruffling the boy's hair. "But I cannot leave this for tomorrow. There is much to do to prepare for a mission, and we have but one day in which to do it. Come, I will help you shake off the sleepies."
He hung up both their robes, then directed Obi-Wan to sit with him on the couch. Qui-Gon sat sideways, one knee up on the couch, settling the boy in front of him, turned so that he could lean against his chest, but the Master could also see his face from the side. Qui-Gon embraced his Padawan, and Obi-Wan melted against his Master with a sigh.
"Now, let's wake you up a little," Qui-Gon murmured, kissing the child's temple, then he touched his mind gently. Immediately Obi-Wan straightened, alert again.
"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan said shyly, then looked up into his teacher's face. "Is this going to hurt, Master Qui-Gon?"
Qui-Gon smiled back down at him. "It shouldn't. If you should resist me, there could be discomfort, but I have a feeling you won't. I will warn you that it will feel strange when I touch your mind, and you might feel some dizziness as I connect our minds. It could take some getting used to." He paused, looking down into the boy's wide eyes and expression of awe. "If we are meant to have a strong bond, then this will be not only easy... but it will feel natural and we should be sharing thought immediately. Many Master-Padawan pairs never achieve that."
Obi-Wan laid his head on his Master's shoulder, relaxing against the solid mass of the other. "I trust you, Master."
The boy's ready acceptance of the immanent invasion of his mind sobered the Jedi Master, and he thought again how utterly precious this child was, to the Order and more, to him. [And I must yield to this as well,] he thought, hugging the boy close. [The pain will be on my end, not his... It is this intimacy I have feared above all else...]
"I honor your trust, Padawan," he whispered softly. Within, the Jedi Master was readying himself for the loss of the self-imposed solitude of the mind to which he'd retreated when he broke the training bond between himself and Xanatos. To be alone had become safe, even reassuring, for when one's mind has no other connections, there is no pain and no one to hurt you within. Now Qui-Gon must allow another in, let this child into his safe place... and he would be safe no more. Even though Obi-Wan was an affectionate, loving boy... it hurt to be so loved when you believe yourself responsible for the lapse that Qui-Gon suffered in letting the Dark seep so deeply into his beautiful Xanatos and twist him so utterly...
Qui-Gon stifled a gasp and ruthlessly suppressed the stab of pain the memory brought. [I cannot be so selfish as to allow my past stupidly affect this child's future,] he scolded himself, quelling his anger at his own weakness. [Obi-Wan is NOT Xanatos...]
He was startled out of his self-abasement by the touch of a small hand on his chin, the boy's fingers stroking his beard. "It's okay, Master," Obi-Wan murmured softly. "It's going to be okay."
[Of course, I forgot the child can already sense my emotions,] Qui-Gon realized with dismay that he also released as soon as he felt it. "Yes, of course, Obi-Wan," he replied, intending to speak quietly, but there was a tremor to his voice that he hadn't expected.
The hand settled against his neck. "I'll never, ever hurt you, Master," the boy whispered. "I promise with all my heart."
Qui-Gon's eyes filled with tears, and he immediately dispelled thoughts of unworthiness that came up. The Force willed that this beautiful, loving child become his companion in heart, mind, and body. All his life he had accepted the will of the Force. When given such an immense gift such as this, can he do no less than to accept the grace of the Force as well? He felt the Force reply to his silent question with a resounding affirmation that he, indeed, was to accept this largesse. His heart full, Qui-Gon's right arm tightened about the boy, and his left hand came up to cup the side of Obi-Wan's head as it lay against his shoulder. [I yield to the Force who breathed us both into being and brought us together,] he thought, releasing his fears with a sigh.
"I promise the same, my Obi-Wan," the Master murmured. "Thank you. I am ready now." His mind surged with power, fully under his control, his emotions calm. Then he entered the boy's mind.
Obi-Wan felt warmth bloom within him... within his head? Until now he would not have had any understanding or experience of his own mind as a nearly physical part of himself. He could not have touched it, and barely could maintain much control over it. He could, with effort, manage his thoughts and to a lesser degree, his emotions, applying what Jedi mental disciplines his child's mind had been able to grasp and develop. But now there was a physical sense of... something... It was not unpleasant, or even tickling or strange. [M...Master?] he thought, wondering if his teacher could hear.
The Jedi Master sent a probing tendril in, pressing against the boy's natural shields - the feeling of warmth Obi-Wan felt - then parting them like dried leaves, entering at last. **Any discomfort, Padawan?** he spoke in the gentlest of whispers into Obi-Wan's mind.
"Ohhh..." the boy sighed. "No, Master," he added, awed. The whisper into his mind felt like a soothing balm, the gentle caress of a breeze or soft fabric against his skin. "That... that's you?"
**Yes, little one,** Qui-Gon sent back, smiling. **Does this feel all right?**
"Oh, yes..." Obi-Wan smiled, snuggling closer. "It feels like you. I like it."
Beginning to relax, the Master deepened his contact just a little... and there it was... the threads that were already connecting them. He touched one and felt an answering resonance in his own mind. It *was* pleasant, and Qui-Gon felt a curious sense of welcome, of coming home. [What?] Surprised, he noted that he'd never gotten such a feeling before from touching another's mind. [Then it's true...]
"Yes..." the boy breathed, fingertips rubbing absently on his Master's neck. The breathy word was not in response to any thought of Qui-Gon's, but just an affirmation that what was touched felt very good.
**That's what we have now, Padawan... the threads that allow each of us to feel the other's emotions.** Qui-Gon reverently touched each, adding strength prior to building the framework for their bond for which these threads would serve as base. The Master was calm now, finding his acceptance in the Force, which breathed strongly and fluidly through his mind, his entire being. He gathered the mental power he would need to forge the bond, make it powerful, unbreakable until he or Obi-Wan wish it otherwise. Given the growing strength of what was already there, such a likelihood was next to impossible. They would be bonded in the Force and in love. The signs were there.
**Now,** Qui-Gon went on when he was ready, fingertips massaging the boy's scalp soothingly, **I will create the bond around what already connects us. Tell me immediately if you feel any discomfort.**
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan whispered. He, too, was calm, trusting completely in the Jedi Master.
Qui-Gon went to work, forming the mental pathways that would serve as conduits in the Force between his mind and that of his apprentice. They incorporated the threads of emotional connection that had already formed, building them even stronger as they wove in and out of the pathways being formed. At the same time, Qui-Gon built in the necessary controls that Obi-Wan would need to manage his shields, just as Yoda had done in his own mind so many years ago.
"Ohhh!" Obi-Wan uttered with a little gasp as his Master activated the bond between their minds. **M...Master?** He was looking into another's mind for the first time in his life. **Oh! You're... you're so...** He did not have the words to describe the ordered vistas of the Jedi Master's mind. **It's beautiful, Master. You're so beautiful...**
Qui-Gon was similarly impressed with the child's mind, and felt a rush of gratitude that the Order took such loving care of its young members. Obi-Wan had thrived like a strong, young tree, growing strong and confident in the Force and in his place in the Order. His heart was open and loving, his mind far more ordered than one might find in a Human child his age of another culture which did not emphasize love and discipline as much. Obi-Wan had soaked up both like he soaked up knowledge, a veritable sponge. The boy would be a powerful Jedi like his Master one day.
That is, they would be two bonded and powerful Jedi together one day...
**How do you feel?** Qui-Gon himself felt elated, feeling like a little healing had been done in him already.
**Oh, Master!** Obi-Wan was clinging to his Master's tunics, crying with happiness. **I feel wonderful! Are you all right?**
Belatedly the Master realized his eyes were streaming with tears, mostly of relief. **My Padawan, my precious Obi-Wan... you are so beautiful, too. You will make such a fine Jedi Knight. And yes, I'm all right. I feel... wonderful, too.**
Then Obi-Wan touched their bond reverently. **Now our minds are connected and we will share a mind-communion.**
**Yes, Obi-Wan. It is essential for your training.** Qui-Gon stroked the boy's hair gently. **Through it I will guide you deeper into your sensing and control of the Force, or rather, your communion with the Force.**
**I know, Master,** Obi-Wan sighed, patting his Master's neck. **We do not control the Force, but through serenity allow it to flow through our beings. It becomes one with us...**
**Yes...** Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan's hair. **This is our life as Jedi, little Painter. Our communion with the Force sets us apart from all other beings, yet it is that same Force which calls us to serve those who cannot sense it.**
Obi-Wan felt a brief sense of being overwhelmed by the enormity of their calling, then his mind was flooded with the sweet calm of the Jedi Master. The reaction of his... bond brother? bond mate? was immediate. **Ohhh...**
**Shhh, little one,** Qui-Gon soothed him. **Rest in our bond now, Obi-Wan. It has been a very long day.**
They sat like that, resting in the light, gentle mind-communion for a while, Qui-Gon still lightly stroking the boy's head, until Obi-Wan was long asleep. Then the Master rose, the boy in his arms, and went to put him to bed.
Obi-Wan woke in the middle of the night, instantly aware that he wasn't in his own bed. Then he remembered - he was a Jedi Padawan now and no longer living in the Trainee dormitory! This *was* his own bed, across the room from his Master's rather larger one. Sitting up, he realized he was only wearing his leggings; the rest of his uniform was laid neatly on top of the press at the base of his bed. [Master undressed me and put me to bed,] he thought, grinning.
Then he glanced over to the other bed. Master Jinn was asleep, lying on his side facing away from him, his shoulder minutely rising and falling with his breathing. To Obi-Wan's wonder, the man had undone the tie that kept his hair in place, and the dark brown fall lay spread about his pillow and shoulders. The boy felt a sudden itch to feel the silken length, and he was on his feet and padding over to the big bed before he knew what he was doing.
Gingerly he reached out a hand to the hair that lay on the pillow, taking up a thick strand in his fingers. [Oh, how silky,] he thought, a smile spreading through his face. [I hope Master lets me comb it for him.] He replaced the hair then looked down the length of the broad back of the man. [Would... would he let me sleep with him?]
Abruptly Qui-Gon stirred, and Obi-Wan dropped suddenly to the floor, folding into a ball, out of sight below the edge of the wide bed. He heard the bed creaking and realized that his Master was turning over. He waited until he heard the man's breathing returning to its slow, measured pace, then he uncurled and peered over the edge. [Master didn't wake up,] he thought with relief. He noted that Qui-Gon was in the middle of the bed, which left a lot of room on either side... room enough for a boy of twelve to lay on and he wouldn't even have to be touching the big Jedi. [It just feels nice to be close to him.]
And it did... the youth felt a soft peacefulness in his bond with his sleeping Master, and he wanted to be as close to that as he could. Obi-Wan stood and then gently sat down on the bed, swinging his legs up carefully so he would not awaken the man. He snuggled under the covers, then shifted up to where Qui-Gon's long hair lay spread over the pillow. There was just enough room for him to put his head. Obi-Wan scooted his back closer and laid his head on the pillow so that the fall of hair was under his cheek, soft and satin. Smiling, the boy pulled the covers over his front a little better, and went to sleep.
Sometime later the Master woke, coming to full awareness as was his habit. Something was pinning his hair down... and he was not alone. He opened his eyes to see the dark form lying in front of him, immediately identifying it as his Padawan who appeared to have purposely lain his cheek atop the hair spilling over the pillow. A smile quirked at the corner of the Jedi's mouth, and he considered letting the boy stay.
He felt a curious sense of confusion. Qui-Gon Jinn was completely unused to sharing his bed, to having another body in his bed with him. What if he rolled on the boy in his sleep? Then he decided the bond would probably subconsciously prevent that from happening, that he would retain some subliminal awareness of the other's presence even in sleep. Obi-Wan was on the brink between childhood and young adulthood, but still for a while yet there ought not to be any sexual arousal occurring between them.
Qui-Gon mused thoughtfully, [He's not quite awakening yet to his sexual self... so my presence may not affect him in that way yet.] The Jedi Master had no thought about whether he was or could be attracted to the boy sexually. As most Jedi, he placed no importance on physical beauty or age when taking a lover. He would never have thought to become sexual with anyone who had not reached their sexual maturity. And had no intention of changing that for this ardent child.
As a teaching Master and an active negotiator in the field, Qui-Gon knew well how to manage his own sexual desires and attractions. It was part of his self-discipline as a Jedi, and enabled him to defer inappropriate desires whether in the Temple or out on mission. It was not uncommon for others, men or women, to seek his attentions in that way, whether for personal or political gain or a hope for a mutual pleasuring. His effectiveness as a negotiator required that he not get involved with anyone emotionally or sexually. His effectiveness as a teacher required that he keep his mind clear and his emotions stable, balancing the necessary intimacy with the necessary objectivity when judging his student's progress. Many in the galaxy would find the juxtaposition of the two impossible. They were not Jedi.
His bonds with his first two Padawans had been normal ones, though the one with Xanatos had perhaps never been as solid as he would have liked. Qui-Gon now accepted that this was no reflection on himself and that he had done everything he could to train the boy, though toward the end he had suffered a lapse and allowed himself to be blinded by the growing restlessness with all things Jedi. Like any Jedi child, Xanatos had been affectionate with his Master and when the time came, had enjoyed the physical intimacy their relationship allowed, learning about sexual pleasure from his Master and sharing same with him. There had been a difference; Xanatos never showed a preference for his Master's bed, and eagerly welcomed many others to his. Looking back on that now, Qui-Gon realized that Xanatos had never truly cared deeply for anyone, especially him. The subtle discontent with having been taken away by Qui-Gon from his privileged home and all the attendant luxuries at such an early age had bred a slow growing contempt in Xanatos that had fully surfaced at the worst possible time.
He reached and touched the little Padawan braid that was tossed over Obi-Wan's shoulder. [This one is so different,] he mused, feeling like a new Knight with his first Padawan. [This is all going to be very different, not like with the other two at all.] He sighed deeply, for he realized that he and Obi-Wan would be sexual with one another as soon as the boy was ready. Inside of two years, he guessed.
[I cannot afford to become infatuated with him, indulgent,] Qui-Gon told himself resolutely. [But somehow I don't think this one will take advantage if I allow him... close. His training must come first... anything personally, bond or no bond, must take a back seat to that. And if he cannot handle that necessity, then the personal part of our relationship must lessen. The burden will be on me to enforce that...]
But for now... it was the child's first night in a new place. He'd lived in student dormitories all his life, and now lived with his new Master in his quarters. [Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning, but for now...] A wave of the old pain passed through him. He'd never wanted to let anyone close, ever again. Then he released it back into the Force, letting his calm find him again. [This is right... I can let him inside my heart. This is right now...]
With a deeply contented sigh, Qui-Gon gently collected the sleeping boy into his arms, pulling him back against his chest. [Precious little Painter, what *have* you done to me?] he thought with a chuckle as he settled the child against his body. He kissed the soft light brown hair, then relaxed with Obi-Wan nestled close in his arms. In moments, he was asleep.
Obi-Wan woke with a start, then realized with a rush that he was laying in his Master's arms. [He's hugging me... in bed! Ohhh...] But just as he went to clasp the long arms that were draped around him, the big body at his back moved. The boy abruptly thought his Master might reject him from his bed, despite how they woke up, but the arms were pulling him even closer, and he felt a mouth kiss him behind the ear.
"Good morning, Padawan," Qui-Gon breathed into his ear, a smile in his voice. The new bond between them tingled with joy and warmth.
Suddenly Obi-Wan was squirming in his arms, trying to turn around to face him. Chuckling, the long arms opened to allow the boy to flop over, then they collected him in again. Qui-Gon smiled, quite relaxed, as he met Obi-Wan's widened eyes.
Obi-Wan's palms lay shyly against the Master's chest as he leaned his head back to look up at his Master. "G...good morning, Master," he managed to get out. He still wasn't sure how welcome he was to be here. "I'm sorry... I just wanted to be closer," he added, ducking his eyes. But a large finger tilted his chin back up.
"The bond we share draws us close," Qui-Gon whispered, stroking the boy's back lightly. "You feel it as I do. Which means we have something very serious to talk about."
"I know, I shouldn't be here," Obi-Wan sighed, feeling a well of disappointment surge up.
"No, that's not it at all," Qui-Gon reassured him hastily. He looked over the boy's wondering face, giving him a little smile. "The nature of our bond will require both of us to achieve a balance between the intimacy we will both want to have together... and the needs of your training and the missions we must go on together. You belong here..." He paused to let those words sink in, raising a finger to touch the boy's soft cheek. "But your training and missions come first. At the first sign of any lagging in your training or signs of distraction that keeps either of us from doing our work at peak efficiency... the intimacy will be the first thing that will have to be lessened. And there will be times at which it is not appropriate at all. This is to be a very private thing for us."
"Oh, Master," Obi-Wan sighed, happy but understanding about how serious this was. And he had no illusions - Master Jinn allowed him in his bed because the bond encouraged their closeness. If not for that... He leaned into the gentle touch, wishing he could ask for more, but knowing he must not. "I understand - my training is the first priority of our relationship. And we are Jedi and we have the work of the Order to do. But if we can only have this..." He paused to snuggle closer, fitting his head into the crook of his Master's neck. "... only at times like this, even for a little while, I will be content. I love you, Master."
Qui-Gon sighed, running his fingers up through the boy's short, brushy hair. "And I love you, too, Padawan. But I assure you... this balance will not always be easy to achieve. You do not yet have sexual feelings. Those can be... demanding."
Obi-Wan lay with his nose pressed against his Master's throat, and he could feel the man's strong, slow heartbeat. "I want to kiss you on the mouth again... isn't that the same thing?"
The Master smiled. "No, little one. For the same reason that your morning erection is already going away although you are in my arms." He'd been careful to angle that part of his body away from the boy to prevent his own morning erection from coming in even casual contact with the child.
"Oh!" Obi-Wan was abruptly aware of his erection, though indeed flagging, pressing against his Master's abdomen. He wiggled away hastily. "I... I'm sorry..."
Qui-Gon was still relaxed, though he let the boy shift away and sit up. "It's perfectly normal, Obi-Wan," he commented, looking up at the boy's pinkened face and pointedly NOT looking toward his groin. His own subsiding erection was not obvious, for he lay with his forearm casually resting in front of it. "All older boys and men wake up like that. It's a natural process of the male body's adjustment to waking up. And it has nothing to do with sexual feelings."
Obi-Wan was much encouraged by his Master's relaxed demeanor. "Sometimes I rub it a little," he admitted shyly. "It feels nice."
"Certainly it does," Qui-Gon replied, nodding. He propped his head up on a elbow, looking up sidelong at his Padawan. "When you mature a little more, Obi-Wan, rubbing it is going to feel very good indeed."
The boy giggled. "Oh, I know all about that! I mean, I know what that is. Master Nivmal called it masturbation and said everyone does it." He shrugged. "A Trainee doesn't have much privacy, though once Garen and I found a hidden spot in the gardens. Ah... I let him touch me and he let me touch him... there. We didn't do anything, just giggled a lot." He grinned, then added boldly, "So, can I have another mouth-kiss? Before we have to do Jedi stuff?"
[Force, this little one is persistent!] Qui-Gon nearly laughed aloud. "Yes, before we leave our quarters, but NOT in bed, Painter." He patted the boy's knee, then sat up. "And the 'Jedi stuff' is due to start at any moment, so we'd best start our day."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said reluctantly, then climbed off the bed to go get cleaned up. [Kiss... later,] he told himself. He was NOT going to let Master forget!
Unfortunately just as Master Qui-Gon was dressed, the comm sounded. Obi-Wan came out of the kitchen with their breakfast of pastries and fruit as his Master was finishing the call. He looked... frustrated, upset. And the emotions escaped just long enough for Obi-Wan to have to juggle his tray in surprise before the Master tightened up his shielding. "Master?"
Qui-Gon nabbed a pastry and nibbled at it, though did not sit at the table. "We have to meet with the Senator from Malastare in a half hour. You know that the Malastareans offer neutral ground for parties to meet for negotiations because they are controlled by the Gran Protectorate, not the Republic directly? Well, this means that our three-eyed friends ingratiate themselves to everyone who takes up their offer, so if something is not to their guest's liking, they will be persistent in making everything perfect for them. Meddlers..."
Obi-Wan nodded in all the right places, though he didn't understand it all. Master was irritated, that much was clear. In moments he was bustled out into the hallway, pastry in hand, and hard pressed to follow his Master as they hurried to the meeting. [And I still didn't get my kiss...] he noted ruefully, then sternly told himself they had work to do.
Fifteen minutes into the meeting with the large, orange-skinned, three-eyed Malastarean Senator, and Obi-Wan was thinking that his childhood was definitely over and that much of the rest of his life was going to be spent talking, talking, talking... Qui-Gon, though he was a bit icy toward the Senator, demonstrated his prowess as a full Jedi Master and a superb negotiator, deftly steering aside all of the Senator's arguments until he was heartily agreeing that yes, the Lanniki were going to have to accept that a Jedi Padawan was not only permitted to attend all negotiations with his Master, but that it was critical to his training that he attend.
It made Obi-Wan uncomfortable to be argued over in front of him. Once he looked longingly toward the door, thinking he might slip out, but when he glanced back at his Master, Qui-Gon pinned him with a glare. The look sent a shock through him, and he recalled what Qui-Gon had said about his training and missions coming before even their relationship and bond. Yet... he was getting the feeling that something else was wrong.
Then it was over and Obi-Wan got another shock, for the moment that they were alone in the Council antechamber after the Senator's departure, Qui-Gon Jinn sank to his knees, sitting back on his heels in a meditative posture, closing his eyes. The boy could feel the man's wired emotions but dared not try to read him closer. [I caused this,] he couldn't help but think. [I've come in and upset his life, his work...] He sank to his knees beside him, worried.
He jumped when he realized the Master was staring at him. "From one extreme to the other, I know," Qui-Gon said quietly, his usual serene countenance back. "We shall take what time for one another we may find, but for the most part, your days will be rather more like this... and filled with study and workouts."
"I know," the boy replied firmly. [I see his outer serenity, but I feel his returning pain,] Obi-Wan thought, trying to keep his dismay off his face. [He has worked too hard...] "I know this is what I need to become a Jedi Knight," he added, folding his arms in his robe sleeves. "I'm not afraid of the work. As long as those... moments... come along once in a while."
A brief stab of pain, then it was gone. "The life of a Jedi is hard," Qui-Gon murmured. He looked as if he was going to say something else, then he straightened and rose to his feet. "I expect the Lanniki are already on their way to speak to me." As Obi-Wan rose as well, though not as gracefully, the Master's comlink chirped. "Jinn..."
"Master Jinn, this is Volzy Magga, the senior aide to Senator Gulfiddie of Lannik... I met with you yesterday, sir?"
**Here it comes,** Qui-Gon sent to his Padawan with a roll of the eyes. "Yes, Magga, I just met with Senator Dingylb of Malastare."
"Oh!" The man on the other end sounded bewildered and Master and Padawan exchanged glances. "Ah, um, I called to inform you that Prince Sooflie the Eighth expresses his pleasure that you and your, er, apprentice, will be handling the negotiations personally."
Qui-Gon all but laughed. "Sooflie said that."
"Um, ah, yes, sir..."
"Tell Prince the Eighth that the Jedi Order appreciates the Lanniki State's concern for the future of our Order and the Jedi's service to the Republic and her allies," Qui-Gon said smoothly, all but smirking. Sooflie had gotten the earlier message clearly, it seemed. "Has our transportation been arranged, Magga?"
"Yes, sir, but there's a problem..."
"Problem?" Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes. [What NOW?] Beside him, he noted his apprentice's tenseness, though the boy was projecting as much calm as he could, not wanting to disturb his Master's conversation.
"Ah, the transport is also carrying a high-level finance officer of the Gran Protectorate who wishes to leave in, um..." The man stopped; the Lanniki had pissed off the best negotiator of the Jedi once. He had no wish to incur that wrath twice in two days.
"Yes?" Qui-Gon prompted, though he realized with dismay what the man was getting at. They were going to have to leave far sooner than he wanted. This was bad, worse than the Lanniki not wanting Obi-Wan to attend the negotiations. He thought they'd have today to accomplish more on strengthening their bond, but if they had to leave already...
"Ah, in three hours, Master Jinn. Please, sir, we regret the haste. Prince Sooflie assures me that you will have the best accommodations..."
The Jedi Master interrupted crisply, and for the first time, Obi-Wan heard, no, *felt* the man's taut worry. "Accommodations do not matter, Magga. Time does. The sessions per day, as I told you, must be limited to three hours. The first week I am with a new apprentice is a critical one for his training. We must have time together. What does Sooflie say to that, hmm?"
Obi-Wan stared at his Master, wondering, the feeling of wrongness growing. Was that concern for him he heard in the man's anxious voice? Qui-Gon's end of their bond was substantially dimmer than even this morning.
"Ah, since we are dragging you to Malastare earlier than expected, I'm sure Sooflie can be convinced..."
Qui-Gon suppressed a flare of anger. "I would be happy to discuss this with Prince the Eighth personally," he interrupted, keeping his voice under control.
**Master, what's wrong? I don't understand,** Obi-Wan sent, worried that his Master was angry at him, at the interruption to his life he was causing.
The Jedi Master turned to him with surprise, but the Lanniki aide was speaking again. "I will give him your request immediately. I will ask that he meet aside with you and your apprentice before the first session begins." The man's voice was shaking. "Is that satisfactory, Master Jinn?"
"Yes," Qui-Gon murmured. "Send the arrival information on the transport to my quarters and tell Sooflie we look forward to seeing him on Malastare."
"Yes, sir!"
When the transmission ended, the Master immediately went to one knee before his student, clasping him by the arms. "Obi-wan, feel our bond..." He looked into his Padawan's face, letting his worry show fully now.
Surprised, Obi-Wan did as he was asked... and realized that his Master had not dimmed his side of the bond on purpose. "I... I don't understand, Master," the boy said in a small voice. "What is happening?"
Qui-Gon shook his head. "I was afraid of this, Painter. I had to finish our bond last night because it had already started to form... but the Council wanted me to wait until after this mission. I couldn't do that... and risk what was already there. A bond needs time to mature, to flourish, especially one like ours. We should NOT be going on a mission right now. Everything in me is screaming to keep you close, to keep the influences of other minds away, even those of non-Force-sensitives, even here in the Temple. But the Lanniki are important and they want only me for these negotiations. I'd still rather not do this, but..."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, but a large finger was laid across his lips. "No, Padawan. This is not your fault, this is not because you have altered my life in any way. I know what you were thinking..."
"Master..." The boy's eyes grew moist. "You're *hurting*." He wanted to hug his Master, but he couldn't because of the other's grip on his arms. "You weren't ready for a bond... like this..."
"Perhaps not," Qui-Gon admitted honestly. "But I am a Jedi first. The bond... *is*. We must take care of it, make it strong between us. Normally a new Master-Padawan pair spends an entire week, the first week, simply being together, nurturing their mental connection. We will have to deal with space travel and then the nuisance of Malastare and the recalcitrant Lanniki far sooner than I expected. It will strain our bond and almost certainly require us to spend extended time, longer than a week, to get it where it should be when we return. The return of the Sith not withstanding, I shall be refusing any more missions for a while."
"I..." Obi-Wan still felt like crying, feeling the strain already. "I didn't realize, Master. I had no idea. So that's why we're supposed to take a whole week before going anywhere."
"Yes, that's why," Qui-Gon sighed, rubbing his thumb over the boy's cheek. "Oh, little one, do not think for a minute that I would want to be doing anything other than solidifying our bond as we should right now." He looked into the wide, blue-gray eyes, giving him a little smile. "Even if I am still healing. And may be for some time... Yet I don't want to be anywhere but with you."
"Oh, Master," Obi-Wan breathed, and threw his arms around the man's shoulders. "I don't want you to hurt for anything!"
Qui-Gon hugged his apprentice equally as hard. "Nor I you, dear one. Now... we haven't much time. I will go back to our quarters and begin packing."
"I should be doing that," Obi-Wan muttered into his hair.
"Not this time," Qui-Gon whispered, kissing the boy on the temple. "I want you to go talk to Master Yoda, tell him what we talked about. He can help us when we return. And then go say goodbye to your friends... quickly. I'll contact you about where to meet me."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan breathed. Then he was released abruptly, the tall Jedi Master striding out of the room with a sweep of robes.
Master Yoda found him so quickly that Obi-Wan suspected that the little green Councilor had been snooping. Were there monitoring devices in the Council antechamber? Yoda gestured with his stick for the Padawan to sit down on the floor. Obi-Wan, sighing, sat cross-legged, trying to relax.
"Hmmm," Yoda murmured, looking the boy over. "Read your bond, I may?"
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan replied, feeling a sense of relief wash through him. "Please."
Yoda laid a chubby claw on the boy's shoulder and closed his eyes. Obi-Wan felt the warm, fluttery feeling of the careful and gentle parting of his shields, then the soft touch of the other's mind. After a few long minutes, Yoda patted the shoulder.
"Well-made, your bond is," he commented, meeting the child's wondering gaze. "Yet know you well it must grow. Know this, your Master does very well." Then he seemed to smile. "Beautiful it is indeed, when two Jedi bond like this. Nothing brighter in the Order, there is."
Obi-Wan smiled proudly. "Thank you, Master Yoda. I already love Master Qui-Gon. And I think he loves me."
Yoda made a noise - his funny, cackling "laugh". "Knew it would be like this, I did," he said smugly. "Resonate together, your Force signatures do."
"They do?" Obi-Wan was impressed. "Master Yoda?"
"Mmmm?"
"How do I help Master Qui-Gon heal his heart?" Obi-Wan felt the worry return to flood his own heart.
"Hmmm, severely broken, his heart was," Yoda said softly, leaning on his stick. "Yet committed to you, he is. Do not doubt that. Loves you, he does already. But only time and love will heal him. Strong and committed you must be, Padawan. Committed to loving a broken Master. One day, broken no longer, he will be. Because of you."
"I *am* committed to him," Obi-wan replied fervently. "I love him and want to heal him so that one day we may be mates in heart and body like we are mates of the mind. I want to help him become whole."
Yoda nodded, seeing much in this amazingly mature child. [Understands a great deal, this one does. Understands that lifetime commitment this is, and what that means. Ready for this intensity he is, more than the Master.] "Know what you need to, already you do," he said aloud to Obi-Wan, winking at him. "A strain on your both, this mission will bring. When return to Coruscant you do, come to me. Help you stabilize again I can... then nothing will be allowed to interfere. Strong, your bond will become."
"Thank you, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan sighed.
The good-byes with his friends were quick, and it seemed like no time at all before Obi-Wan was beside his Master, boarding the transport to Malastare. He looked curiously at their baggage, carried on board by droids, but Qui-Gon's expression was so closed he did not dare ask about it. Soon they were sequestered in a small stateroom on the diplomatic courier ship.
Immediately the Jedi Master unpacked a small cubical device from their baggage. It was a portable shield generator, designed specifically to shield out Force and other emanations. It would give them privacy. Once it was activated, Qui-Gon sagged into a chair, sighing deeply. Then he reached a hand out to his Padawan.
Obi-Wan took it, then inhaled sharply when the Master drew him into his arms, leaning forward in the chair to fold his long arms around the boy's waist, his head against Obi-Wan's chest. Immediately Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon's neck and hugged back fiercely hard, sensing the man's inner pain. **Master, you know what Yoda said?** he asked after a long minute had passed.
**No, what did Yoda say, Painter?** Qui-Gon, his eyes shut tightly, murmured into the boy's tunic.
**He said it was beautiful when two Jedi form a bond like ours,** Obi-Wan whispered into his Master's mind, and kissed the long hair reverently. **Nothing brighter in the Order, he says!**
A wave of pain surged and then was gone. **Oh, yes, beautiful...** the Master whispered into his mind. **I just... this is just hard for me, Padawan.**
**Master Yoda also said that time and love will heal you, Master,** Obi-Wan replied immediately. **I know it hurts to share a bond again. I won't ask more of you than you can give. I know you are used to being alone and need some solitude.**
**Padawan...** Qui-Gon tightened his arms around the boy. **I need this more, no matter how painful. I need you, Obi-Wan. We need time for our bond far more than I need to be alone. The pain will go away. Stay...**
Obi-Wan had had a thought to leave his Master alone for a while, intending to poke around the transport a little, but realized now that would have been the wrong thing to do. **Yes, of course, dear Master.**
Then a whimsical thought struck the Jedi Master, though he had tears in his eyes. **All too soon you'll be mad at me for driving you too hard in your training. So I suppose we had better enjoy this while we can.**
The boy chuckled. He was now running his fingers through the long, dark hair, enjoying the silken texture. **I like to be challenged and I like hard work. So there!**
**Let's see if you say that after four hours of study and exercise each,** Qui-Gon replied. **And then in the evening...**
**You don't scare me, Master,** Obi-Wan retorted good-naturedly. **I've been bored with my classes two years already and they only let Trainees spar with other Trainees, so...**
**Oh, so you're ready to discourse at length about the vulnerability of the Republic to Sith infiltration in the Empress Teta Period?** A teasing tone accompanied the Master's words.
**No, but I will be. Who's Empress Teta?**
**A bold and strong leader in a time of dangerous innocence... which may be far too much like our times,** Qui-Gon answered thoughtfully. **But enough of history for the moment.** He loosened his arms, straightening. "I've got something to show you, Padawan."
With a last quick kiss to his Master's hair, Obi-Wan released him. When the Master looked up at him, he smiled. "Something for me, Master?"
Qui-Gon stood and went to their baggage. "Something for us, actually. A reminder of how we came together and a sign of hope for the future..." He brought a box out and opened it on a table, lifting out a small, wooden sculpture. The Ghisho bird.
"My Ghisho!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, deeply pleased that his Master would have thought to bring it. "Did you ever think of a name for her?"
The Master nodded as he set the sculpture in the center of the table, a place of honor. "Yes, I did. You know, I think it would be nice if we brought her along on missions for a while, don't you?"
Obi-Wan bobbed up and down, happy. "Oh, yes! But tell me her name!"
Qui-Gon looked sidelong at his apprentice, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Her name is Shobi."
The boy laughed, clapping his hands together. "Shobi? SHOBI?"
The tall man crossed his arms over his chest, regarding his apprentice's hysterics. Apparently the boy thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "Yes, because Obi-Wan showed a recalcitrant old Jedi Master how to open his heart again."
Obi-Wan settled down, but his eyes were shining. "You weren't recalcitrant because you did open your heart to Accept me as your Padawan, and you aren't old. Master YODA is old!"
"Very well, 'stubborn and aging', then." Qui-Gon winked at him and Obi-Wan laughed again.
"Maybe a little stubborn," Obi-Wan chuckled, slipping an arm around his waist as they looked at the bird statue together. "I don't care about your age. We're Jedi and that sort of thing doesn't matter much. Besides, you're beautiful and I love you." Thinking suddenly that he might have said too much, the boy turned his face in against the man's robe.
"Painter?" Qui-Gon circled the slim shoulders with an arm, then put a finger to the boy's chin. When the clear, honest blue-gray eyes looked up at him again, he smiled. "My own, beautiful Obi-Wan... I love you as well."
Embarrassed and pleased, Obi-Wan buried his face against the dark robe. He felt the loving hum of their bond pulsing between them and touched it shyly with his mind. **Really? I'm y...yours and I'm beautiful?**
Qui-Gon hugged the boy to himself. **Mine... and yes. Thank you for Shobi, my Painter... and thank you for Choosing me.** He sent a warm tendril of love back into their bond.
Obi-Wan shivered with happiness. **Mouth-kiss? Please?**
**Ah. I did promise, didn't I?** Qui-Gon released the boy and sat back down before pulling him close again, needing to reduce their height difference. Now he looked up a few inches into the youth's wide eyes. Obi-Wan had laid his hands on his shoulders. Between them, the bond sang joyfully. Smiling, Qui-Gon lifted his chin and reached for the Padawan braid, tugging gently to bring the boy's head down closer.
Obi-Wan's eyes fell closed as his mouth met his Master's, lips brushing at first. Then the man's lips captured his more firmly, sending a warmth through his entire being. His heart started beating faster as his lips were thoroughly tasted and loved, then a small inhalation of surprise escaped him when his Master pulled away, turning his head aside.
Understanding suddenly - as if the Force had made him see something he had not before. [He's still not able to be with anyone... and I'm sure he wishes I were older. So do I...] Obi-Wan sighed and murmured softly, "It's okay, Master Qui-Gon. Thank you for the nice kiss." He patted his Master's cheek gently.
Qui-Gon captured the hand in his, but held it to his cheek. "Yes, it was nice. I'm just not ready... for much of this sort of thing." His eyes were closed as he centered himself in the Force again. "A promise... nothing more now. Please."
Obi-Wan glanced at the Ghisho bird. A reminder... and a sign of hope, his Master had called it. He felt the lessening of the pulsing joy in their bond, felt it calm to a peaceful glow, no more. Warmth and closeness they could have.. a little. But "nothing more now". He knew it might be years before Qui-Gon Jinn deemed himself ready to be intimate with anyone... and of course before he thought his Padawan was old enough for more as well. [I'm starting to grow up,] he thought to himself, calming. [I'll have more sexual feelings when I'm older and he'll like touching me better, I hope. While he's still hurting he probably doesn't want to be touched like...like...]
He didn't even want to form the words in his own mind. Qui-Gon did not want to be touched intimately because the last person to do that... had been the Padawan who betrayed him. Three years later and the Master was still sick at heart over losing his beloved Xanatos. It never occurred to Obi-Wan to think that his dear Master had not loved Xanatos. He knew it, accepted it. Now Master Qui-Gon had him to love, and would never be betrayed again. But it would take the man a couple years to let all that hurt go for good, and then he could love his Obi-Wan. [I'll be ready then,] he thought happily. [I'll be grown enough by then.]
"Of course, Master," Obi-Wan replied to the plea. He kissed the top of Qui-Gon's knuckles, then gently pulled his hand free. "Thanks for bringing the Ghisho along." He grinned as his Master looked up at him again.
"You're welcome, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon murmured thoughtfully. [This boy is very intuitive, perceptive,] he noted. While the content of his apprentice's thoughts were unknown to him, the boy's ready acceptance of his situation was not.
"Is there something we're supposed to be doing - I mean, if we weren't on a mission - to help our bond this week?" Obi-Wan asked, playing with the edge of his Master's dark brown robe.
Qui-Gon smiled at last. "I think we're doing it," he replied, straightening the boy's tabard on his shoulders. "But we do need to study to prepare for the mission. The Lanniki have sent reports on their political situation, which I have on my datapad. And I don't believe either of us have gotten much exercise in the past two days... or more... and I absolutely must talk to you about how you will need to behave in public." He winked at the boy. "Your first mission, Obi-Wan. I won't have my Padawan giving the Jedi a bad name quite yet."
"I'll be good!" Obi-Wan promised, grinning.
"You know, I've looked at your performance and educational records, Padawan," Qui-Gon commented, giving him another wink. "Including a log kept by Master Nivmal on your behavior."
"A... log?" Obi-Wan's expression sagged considerably. "I'm pretty good, Master, I mean..."
The Master raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. "Hmmm?"
Obi-Wan looked horrified as he remembered a few things. "I only dropped Master Yoda once!"
"Fortunately I doubt you will ever need to carry me..."
The boy glanced at the man's large body. "Yikes! You're way too big..." But he smiled at that, for he liked that his Master was so big and imposing. He personified the perfect legendary Jedi warrior, very tall but graceful and fast. Obi-Wan was proud of his Master's prowess and reputation.
"Although it does concern me that you thought Master Byzlyb's favorite gardening hat was a proper adornment for the statue of Master Thon..." The aforementioned statue was of a powerful Jedi from long ago, of a species which resembled a large and hideous - to most Human eyes - reptilian quadripedal beast.
"I was SIX years old!" Obi-Wan protested indignantly, then laughed again. "Though you must admit, the hat looked better on old Thon than on Byzlyb!"
Qui-Gon laughed with him, clapping a hand to his shoulder as he stood again. "All things considered, Padawan, I think you're going to do very well indeed. And one day, you'll be an exceptional Jedi Knight."
Obi-Wan had nothing to say to that. But for a while yet, looking over the mission reports on his Master's datapad with Qui-Gon, the Jedi Padawan wore a huge grin.
Everything would be all right. In time.
The End